Narcissists and the Silent Treatment
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2020
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Narcissists give you the silent treatment when *THEY* have hurt you and *YOU* refuse to apologize.
Pathetic trash
Yeah Isn’t that shit crazy they hurt you and expect you to apologize like really I need to apologize for you? What? 🤨
Yes! Absolutely insane! Done with this shit! My sibling will literally kick me out of his house while newly disabled (rushing me out!) for not following his specific holiday plans, discard me, cuss at me, then expects me to apologize. Wtf!?
YES
Or when you lay boundaries.
There’s a story.
A husband was giving his wife the silent treatment. He wrote her a note and put it on her night stand, on her side of the bed. The note said wake me up at 5 a.m. The next morning, the husband woke at 9 a.m. His wife was not in the house. He saw a note on his night stand by his side of the bed. The note said, it’s 5 a.m. wake up.
Good one 😃😃😃
He gave me silent treatment for 52 years I feel so peacefull Now at 77 I m living my life it is my turn to b silent n pretend he does not exist He sits all day brooding like a 10 yr old angry child I just ignoreThanks againDr Romani listening to u is like oiling my wounds🙏🙏❤️❤️
Love this!!
Positively HILARIOUS!!
💓🌹Z
LOL, LOVE it!
Love the silent treatment from a narcissist. Sometimes the trash takes itself out.
love that sentiment
Damn well said bro
Yesterday made 1 month of the silent treatment. It’s never gone this long because usually I’d apologize…but honey he can have it this time. I’m sick of it, sick of him, sick of life around him. His whole family is toxic and weird. He has taught me throughout this entire relationship how to live alone…I’ve started planning my exit.
THIS!
I really hope you’ve managed to exit.
Good for you!
6 months now and I’m proud of myself. I took his pride away. Put my make go for gym show him I have another life kids need me healthy
I am sick of the whole thing ...
My husband checks all the boxes of Narcissistic person.
I watched only 5 of her video s and i know i am not imagining any of this anymore. I hope you are ok? I am not looking forward to trying to get out of this he is going to spazz and rage.. Got any advise.. 🙏🙃
They give you the silent treatment when they are at fault or hurt you but don't want to apologize.
KMF sounds like my hypocritical neighbors and their bratty kids .
Yes, currently the silence is golden🥴 I now find myself grateful to "see" what's happening, so I can (most times) enjoy the silence rather than chase the chaos.
@@katrina3560 same here.
@@katrina3560 For sure silence is golden .
@@craig3714 Relieving when I finally accepted it as such 🌟
They think that the silent treatment is a punishment, but it's a welcome relief, and shows how easy life without them will be.
Ya I treat it like a much needed break as well.
SO TRUE
Id like to give them a treatment but it won't be silent lol jk
day 3 of the silent treatment i feel so great no abuse
Yes!. I'm 6 days into the silent treatment. I have felt happier in all honesty. It has also made me realise that life is fine without them
There's no point in trying to force them to communicate. It just fuels them. They ENJOY watching you beg, suffer, go crazy.....
Once I realized that the narcissist enjoys my discomfort and I then realized there was nothing of value they provided to my life, it was easy to see the silent treatment as a blessing.
😂 exactly sis......
Yes!!!
I’m having silent for 3 weeks now just because of my sis want buy house next to ours. Our girls can’t understand this weird father. Sad I’m not sure from here what to do.
When he disappears with the silent treatment, I feel like I can breathe again. I'm not walking on eggshells and find peace in not waiting for the next big drama to go down. The mistake I kept making was to coax him back or let him manipulate himself back. Getting through the loneliness we feel during the silent treatment is the tough part, but really in all reality aren't we lonelier with them???
@@harleygirlwithdogs 💯
Being with a person who is unable to communicate is hell.
Don't you mean UNWILLING to communicate? That is the hallmark of a narcissist.
Since when a narcissist gives the silent treatment ?
🌹✨Hadith : speak a good word or remain silent ―Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
@@goesfarfliesnear1447 the problem is that this is a feature of many disorders and maladaptive coping mechanisms, and there's various reasons for it. For example people with ADHD can have sensory overload and their coping can look like the silent treatment of stonewalling when it's not intended to be.
silence is a answer (they don't care)
Silent treatment from a narcissist is a relief. A gift.
When I was able to recognize it. It was a true true true blessing. Getting used early to not having them around. Or dead.
Mine only used it when it was very hurtful for me. I’d finally get a story in, which should have been my first clue, and suddenly realize I was being ignored and it got turned into something humiliating for me.
Amen
Silent treatment is good
totally. you find calm and can rebuild a happy life.
Narcissist hate the silent treatment too, when they see you accept the treatment and you go around being happy without making any contact to them, it just pisses them off even more because they expect you to make the effort to apologize or kiss their ass.
Exactly. My ex pulled this crap all time.
Month 7 of silent treatment, I am still standing strong
i'm on 4 years! Never been happier!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@@molokorapholo By golly 😂 I’m surprised you are still keeping track 😂 Good job
@@molokorapholo You,re so extremely lucky
Your hair is so beautiful+really suits you
read the unplugged alpha by richard cooper
If they go silent then you go silent.........forever! Don't ever give them a 2nd chance.
EXACTLY!15 YEARS OF LIES,CHEATING,BS&DECEIT!
I often hear people complain their partner is giving them verbal crap, I'll often throw in be grateful they're talking to you!
Sometimes loose ends like property settlement or return / access to goods requires communication but once done then who cares if they even exist anymore.
👍👍👍
@@ericking4072 So sorry😔 That's how these minion's are. I think there spawn from hell. Lol
They need to teach this in schools. The amount of damage emotional abuse causes is just so far-reaching. Love to anyone going through this. You're not alone.
I agree with you 100% !! Emotional intelligence and how to be a healthy mature adult (and what the opposite looks like) should be taught in school!
I agree that all abuse topics should be taught in schools. From my own survey, about half of survivors of family violence and scapegoating would have preferred to be put in foster care.
They really should.... Administration might not like it, they'll get called out too often.
So true.... Degree is such a waste.
I don't remember anything using in my life what I learnt in school after being a teenager.
How? The curriculum is entirely designed to promote it.
They go MIA for hours to days with no communication and come back around like nothing happened.
Yesss
Like wtf I thought we weren't talking !?
Silent treatment empowered me to leave my ex. We had had the mother of arguments, so he decided he wasn't going to talk to me for a week. Since we were not living together, we used to talk over the phone every day. So, on this particular week, he decided not to call, no texts, nothing!
Well, what happened was that week I felt so much peace, I didn't miss him, I didn't think about him and i knew it was time So, I sent him a text telling him that I was enjoying the silence and wanted us to continue that way. Gal! He was mad! I never looked back.
👏🏻💪🏻🙌🏻
Iktr lol
The silent treatment is abuse and evil. It’s torture.
Right up their alley 🎳 and we're their pins!
Its horrible and makes you feel crap and so alone.
I say, learn to enjoy the silence. It makes it more peaceful for you and torturous for them. Because then, they see that you don't care and are even enjoying it.
Paychological torture. My partner does this although he’s not a narcissist.. I don’t think he comprehends just how horrific it is for me and I just don’t know how to change it.
You're just sensitive probably also. Torture is a strong word.
Stay strong everybody and move on
Absolutely
You CANT always move on - there are no jobs - no affordable rent, you re so messed up in the head no normal person would want you...
What if it's your adult child? :(
Not easy
ErikisOfficial!! You can’t always move on. Only in an ideal world. Narcissistic stuff is all throughout the world everywhere.
Unfortunately, there is no way to completely bypass it. Many have it in their families, in the work place, in everyday life, in politics, etc. You have to try to navigate it the best possible way, even when it seems impossible. That’s what these videos are for, honestly.
I went 39 years thinking the silent treatment was normal for relationships. Mind blown.
Mind fuckin blown, dealing with shit with my girl of 6 years
Literally miserable over it
12,years here👋, hopefully the last
@@Anthony-Soprano read the unplugged alpha by richard cooper
@@Anthony-Soprano read the unplugged alpha by richard cooper
I received the silent treatment once i laid down a boundary. I later discovered the number one way to find out if someone has borderline or narcissist personality disorder is just tell the person no.
yes! I tell young people that saying no to a reasonable request will drive the personality disordered to tantrums...
So true 🤔. I've noticed now that I started saying No, to the people who I thought would be mad at me , respect it. And still talk to me. But when I attempt to set a boundary with my convert narc ma, I get the silent treatment and guilt tripped .
They use the silent treatment as a way to punish you for calling them out on their bad behavior. They hope by giving you the silent treatment you will stop trying to hold them accountable or make you feel like you are somehow at fault. It is truly cruel
THIS. The accuracy.
Yes. I refused to participate in my brother's addiction, and tried to get him into rehab (he eventually ended up in prison and I petitioned the court to add drug rehab to the terms of his parole), tried to help his enablers to break away from the financial drain he was requiring of them, essentially trying to help HIM by not enabling him and 18 years later he is alive and still not speaking to me, even if we are in the same room feet apart. It's ridiculous.
Wow 🔔
Bulls eye! Everything is yr fault. Mine is faultless. Rude, mean, twist their words..you name it, it's all there. In the beginning I thought it's my fault. Not now, after listening to all this.
Yes, 100% true. It's hell on earth!!
Dr Ramani should be nominated for Nobel peace prize for allowing so many people to spot narcissists and live a happy life
100% agree Dr Ramani is fabulous! 🥇👍
💯💯I concur, she deserves it💯💯
spot a narcissist? shall we suggest a TV show like catfish? we all are layman, can only be trainspotters
I agree!
True
Reasons for narcissistic silent treatment:
• Stonewalling
• Gaslighting
• Emotional immaturity
• Lack of interpersonal skill
• Victimhood
• Dysregulation
Reasons for a healthy-minded individual to give the silent treatment:
• To establish a boundary after their boundaries have been continuously crossed. It's a last resort for someone who is emotionally capable and mature enough to communicate.
Thank you. Narcissism can be very confusing. Narcissists deserve the silent/cut off treatment themselves. Some of them might be watching this video, thinking they are the victims. But in reality, it’s the friend who is cutting them off with no explanation. Because you can’t explain nothing to a narcissist. As soon as you try telling them why, they will turn it around on you somehow. They never hold themselves accountable for anything. It is best to go ghost on a narcissist. You will also notice, they are the ones who are sad when you cut them off. But don’t ask themselves, “are they not sad talking to me?” They are pathetic.
I know from experience.
You over-intellectualize about it all .
Realize what they did to you and appropiately respond .
Stop screwing around .
Bingo. Wish I could afford to live alone because I’ve had plenty of roommates give me the silent treatment because they choose to assume anything I do that might offend them is on purpose… they won’t speak to me, then days later send a passive aggressive text 🙄🙄
@@jacobmendez1282exactly!
You forgot
- Punishment
- Revenge
- Emotional cruelty
- Abuse
The silent treatment hurts especially when you’re the one being singled out. You walk into a room where the narcissist is, and he/she talks to everyone but you. You begin to question what is wrong with you, why are they friendly with everyone else and ignoring you?
They are pathetic little children who can’t take responsibility or behave in an emotionally mature way. If they are ignoring you, they either envy you or hate you for calling them out on something.
Can confirm, have NPD stepdaughter who is our only child and I am singled out.
Or maybe they don't like you?! Ive learned not to talk to everyone and keep it cordial and respectful and dont talk behind peoples back or gossip but sometimes well a lot of the times i wont know im gossiping im trying to still learn
@@JohnDoe-oy7sz No, they don’t like me and it’s not because of my personality, it’s because of my race.
@@lisagrimes4801 if it's because of your race I think they are racist ?
In my 20s, the silent treatment drove me insane. In my 40s, I now realize it's a wonderful mini-vacation. Ahhh. Put your feet up, pass the drinks and enjoy the silence.
In my 30s and I feel this. 💕😂 BLISS!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me too.
Love your username ❤️ Touché 🙏
Doesn't mean it's over though. They are just trying to get their way. Fuming on the inside about what their next manipulative move shall be sometimes. No true peace till you end it.
What’s WORSE is when the narc accuses you of silent treatment when it’s just that you’re an introvert exhausted with their games of chaos. 😞
This. This resonates because the moron I was living with for a while used to accuse me of acting like a child giving him the silent treatment, when, in fact, I was merely refusing to answer stupid questions or engage in stupid arguments. It took a restraining order to get rid of that freak, but that was the most wonderful and freeing thing ever!
I choose peace sometimes
I wonder... i have found myself not talking i suppose doing the silent treatment just to avoid arguing or saying something that could could make the situation worse... i do it to try and not engage
@@leegaalswyk1023 same. That's why I looked up this video. I keep thinking that I must be the narcissist because I broke down and just couldn't talk to or engage with my mother in law the last time I saw her. She has refused to talk to me one on one for years, but I still feel terrible for how I acted. So ashamed of my behavior, but I know I'm not the only problem in that relationship. Ugh.
Tnx for ur comment im like that too, and i always asked her can i have a hour or two to cool down icant do this right now and she accused me of being a narsesist.
The silent treatment.....you ask "what have I done?" ...they answer..."If you don't know I'm not going to tell you"
Pretty freaking much
Sounds very very familiar 😅
😢😢😢😢
Or " Chile I can't remember" don't pay me no mind, and start talking, like nothing happened.😮
Classic. 😂😂😂
I think the best counter to this immature attitude is to adapt and play with the narcissist’s drama of silent treating them back but do it with grace and don’t let your inner peace be disturbed.
I just want everyone to know that is reading this, that you can heal, you can move on, you don't deserve this kind of treatment from anyone. There is a better and more loving life waiting for you to be ready to receive it.
Thanks so much......All the best with you.
Got that right! I'm 4 years nc and found me wonderful husband. The point is you got to close that chapter before you get to the happily ever after!
Bingo
Sad thing is , it’s hard to move on when it’s a parent..
thankyou, you too x
they have the emotional maturity of a 12 years old
They are so ridiculous..I just laugh
Hahahaha
It sure seems that way
12? You're being generous. More like 6.
One part of them is still a baby who didn’t get enough breast feeding and love as babies. That’s the narcissistic wound.
The silent treatment makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I am always surprised at how much stamina they have to keep this up for so long.
Exactly!
I honestly am convinced they make it their life purpose bc they either don’t have to straighten up bc nobody around them tells them or they don’t have any desires besides using ppls personality and behaviors to their benefit to make them seem like the ppl they’re around
It's because they are evil
I has horrible this toxic 4 year it absolutely same circle loop now I walk away totally out of this toxic
Hey I am going through a lot.. I’m 23 and I have a boyfriend since three years who does this to me all the time.. I have cried multiple times and he has been bluntl and said I deserve to cry. He made me miserable for going to work, for choosing myself over him, for moving on after he cheated on me.. he comes back and then within days repeats the same things.. he gaslights me, then spend some money to keep me dependent on him, he attacks me until I go crazy and react and then use that against me to make me feel like I’m the problem . I have been struggling a lot with nobody to go to and I have tried therapy.. and my therapy told me that I’m with a sadist and I need to get out as fast as I can, and this guy came back and I told him I’m seeing a therapist and he said that I’m a bitch and I portrayed with wrongly. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m trapped in a loop.
What a waste of one’s life, energy and emotions to be involved with a narc. They just never change. There’s no hope. If they are covert narcs ,you will be subtly abused. Others won’t see it, but you’ll be made “ the crazy person” to their friends who don’t know how evil they are. It’s the worst thing for your mental health to stay with a narcissist, even if your relationship moves to friendship. They are spiritually dead inside and use your life, time and energy to fill their cup, or will be on the prowl for another supply or have one waiting on the shelf. They’re basically vampires, sucking the lifeblood out of others. Be happy when they are gone. Life will feel more peaceful, eventually you’ll heal. and you won’t be getting sucked dry constantly. Life is too short to waste on these abusers. Value yourself.
WOW, couldn't have said any better!! THANK YOU🙋💯☺️
Well said ❤
For all empaths out there,let silent treatment be a blessing and gift to you.......Its a chance to ESCAPE FROM THESE DEMONS! That treatment is not legal or acceptable.
Amen!
Thanks ....
@@bogdanlazar3278 beautifully said 👍
Hey Mya. I so agree that silent treatment it can be a gift, allowing one to distance themself from a narcissist. But, I have to say--silent treatment is not illigal.
I am an empath and you just validated my reasons for my silent treatment behavior. When an energy vampire is constantly sucking the life out of me, becoming silent is one way of blocking their bad mojo.
That does not make one a narcissist, does it?
I’ve noticed that a lot of narcissists lack conflict resolution skills . Perhaps it’s due to their inability to take responsibility for their actions .
Yes they are really good at running away and locking themselves in a bathroom, to avoid any kind of resolution or change
This are the worst type in my opinion.
There is other related topic and is Intimacy Anorexia and the Co-dependent can also have this
I naturally give the silent treatment after someone attacks or verbally abuses me. My reason is, I don’t want to say anything when I’m upset or angry and accidentally hurt someone… I need time to think, time to process. I can’t just chit chat again like nothing happened. I need a moment before I can articulate my thoughts & feelings. So I’ll tell my partner that I can’t speak for awhile.
With that said, I’ve never gone silent simply because I didn’t “get my way”. Or because they didn’t do what I wanted. So Im hoping my way of healing and dealing with conflict isn’t narcissistic. I’m actually really surprised that “silent treatment” impacts people this way. Makes we wonder how I can meet communication in the middle so I have time to think… but the other person doesn’t feel abandoned.
I’ve got some major work to do smh
@@notanotherone5564 What your doing is how to actually healthily process something off hand that just took place. That’s way different then just being a narcissist and giving the silent treat because something didn’t go your way.
Keep up that good work!
My own experiences with Narcissists has taught me that they are wounded at an early age and never properly managed the damage left by their parents in childhood. It's petulance and self absorbption that reveals itself in many very unsavory ways. Lack of communication and Silence is one for sure. Playing the victim card is another. All these point to a need for validation and a stroking of the ego. It's a constant need for love masked in validation, praise or attention.
Not true cuz at work id always be overlooked and the wrong people would get praised i didnt care lmaooo😂
Yes, I agree!! It's more than a quest for love (which would be understandable and rational). It's a quest for Power, Dominance and Control. Needing 'Love' may be at the root of the issue but 'to get love we need to give out love'! Do controlling, domineering, hateful, vengeful and manipulative behaviours convey Love or Hatred?? Good or Evil?? Do they mirror God or the Devil?? Time for these people to wake up, take accountability, take responsibility and....Repent to those they have 'repeatedly' wronged and to God!! That would be a start!!! 😮
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
This is one of the main signs of a narcissist. I always say if you want to know who a person really is, tell them no..or refuse to give them something they want and see how they react.
I can never tell him no when he has told me no for the same things repeatedly. He got upset that decided to use the word no as well, especially no I will not sit around and wait until you decide to date me, and now we are broken up, and I am not upset about it either.
That’s a good one. Because it IS very telling
I wished I had learnt more about narcissism earlier, because now thinking back, my last date showed a lot of red flags of a narcissist and I just dismissed her as being immature. Being immature is one thing, it can be changed if you explain to them. But being immature because she's a narcissist is different, she simply can't change, both cognitively and neurologically. It's such a pity :((
@@tonylai6702 I agree but I’ve discovered narcissism and immaturity usually go hand in hand.
@@MzBrOdUs18 The irony is they think they are geniuses. Found this out the hard way.
When they giving u the silent treatment they usually use that time to talk to they new supply
totally, My adult daughter has a new love interest, so i'm getting the complete silent treatment
Absolutely trueeeee
Facts!!!!
This is true. My mother was busy crafting her victim persona on my sister and triangulating us.
Facts
I love how they think this is a punishment. It's nice not to have them picking a fight . Keep it up forever please.
My thoughts exactly. When I get ignored I'm like finally, peace!!
They have no idea the amount of peace you enjoy in those moments. No fights, no stress 😅
I’m always thankful for the silent treatment!❤️ =I get a break from hateful/demeaning words!
I know, but then I tell we both move on to other people and bounce back as Sitches in a situationship. We should instead be friends!!!
Same. Now after hearing this im confused if im the one whos narcissist
Going on week 2 of the silent treatment…I thank God for the silence and the distance. It’s like I’m being taught to live without him which is going to happen VERY soon!!
Yes. Every time I've gotten away from the narcs in my life I thrive. They always try to suck me back in to keep me down.
@@taraarrington2285
I am going through the same,would love us two being supported systems for each other,,, no one understand in my life what I am going through
Yessss !!!!!!!
This is week 3 for me! He works away 2 weeks at a time and it happened just before he left for work. Now he is back, he completely ignores me, goes out at night and refuses to communicate. I decided to remove myself from the situation and stay elsewhere for my own peace/sanity.
@@gigiiirenee1996 that's a good idea. Sorry to say it but he probably has new supply lined up but will want you back when you are strong and move on. It seems to be a repeating pattern in my life. God bless
My husband comes into the room and says hi to the kids one at a time... and ignores me completely.
I’m moving out July 1st thank God.
What a jerk! Hope you have a nice merry on your way! Good luck July 1st is right around the corner!
Good luck! 🍀🍀🍀Keep listen to her videos it will help tremendously to heal ! Also later on you will spot a narcissistic person from a miles away!
Go girl,you will be so much better off i promise.
Good luck! Glad you got the courage to move on ❤
Yay for moving out on 1 July. Huge hugs.
Narcissists do the opposite of what is right. That’s what makes them so cruel. If they’re capable of crazy-making and gaslighting you to get their way, if they’re capable of giving you the silent treatment knowing you’re in pain and looking for answers, if they’re capable of destroying your reputation by starting a smear campaign and if they’re capable of triangulating you with their flying monkeys so they can humiliate you…then why in the world wouldn’t they be capable of something like cheating? Narcissists are entitled. Narcissists lack empathy. Narcissists are delusional enough to justify their actions. They have all of the ingredients for being a cheater. They’re known for cruel and devastating discards, but somehow they would stop at cheating on you because they have morals and just couldn’t go through with it? No one can truly believe that. The narcissist believes he’s so slick that the other person’s name will actually come up in conversations, if you’re paying attention. But the narcissist will mention them with disgust, as if he wants nothing to do with them. “I can’t stand working with Karen. She annoys me everyday and I can’t believe the things she wears sometimes.” It’s a test to see how you respond to this name coming up periodically. It’s also a way for the narcissist to gain some sadistic glee because they can talk about the other person with you while you’re not yet aware of this person’s role in their life. When they drop the bomb on your head and the realization hits that they’re leaving you for “that Karen” they’ll be overjoyed. If you’re with a narcissist you should be prepared for the push and pull, the other women or men popping up or even outside children. They can’t even be trusted to show up to an event on time. They certainly can’t be trusted with your heart. Additionally, Cheating in marriages is not restricted to only men. Women cheat as much as men do. If you're suspecting your wife of infidelity, you'll have to keep an eye on her of her without her knowledge of her. One of the best ways to know if your spouse cheats on social platforms is by paying close attention to how your spouse behaves while online. The signs are pretty the same. Is your spouse more time on the app without explanation and gets unnecessarily defensive when you ask about it? If your spouse behavior has changed lately, and continues to spend more time on social apps, it's time for you to take action, with the help of a private investigator (suggested; METASPYHUB@GMAIL. COM , you can find out what is taking all their time on social apps, who they are talking to and other things happening,,
"The only adult in the room" so true.
Silent treatment when you question their behavior, when you accuse them of wrong doing,when you catch them red handed,when you hurt their fragile ego,when you dishonor their selfish feelings,when you take off their mask,when you ask them to own up,when you expect them to do right and ethical task,when you prove they are cheap.Its still not a full list.
Dishonor their selfish egos..... Good one!
❣️💖💯 Spot on!!! This MANCHILD tried to bother me with this silent tantrum when I did all that you mentioned. He especially hated being called out on his behavior. I saw his silent treatment for what it was... A tantrum! It flipped on him, because I kind of did it right back and was unbothered by his childish antic. Lol. He sent his weak-ass, pathetic, flying 🐒 enabler fiance to tell me that that's what he was doing so that I would notice. Lol Dumbass 😂🌺
His silent treatment was exactly what I wanted. He did something so cruel to me all because I set a boundary, this hurt me and I was upset and refused to speak to him. He called himself responding with his own silent treatment of me. He was just mirroring me and trying to make me feel guilty.
@@joseenoel8093 yeah
I went through this for over fifty years of a terribly unhappy marriage. I'm still not over the hurt and anger from all of the emotional abuse that I endured.
Looking back, when we were teenagers, he used to control his family by using the silent treatment. He was such a dark soul.
I think that I have PTSD, but I can't find a good therapist.
I am fed up with telling my story over and over.
The best is when you turn the silent treatment into no contact. It worked like a charm for me.
Yes hun......Its a gift.
How so ? What changed for you? :)
Yup! That was my out. ✌🏽
That’s what I’ve done.
I recently started dating with someone and he did silent treatment 3 times in 5 months.
I left him
Thankfully I did sooner than later
@Introverted Artistt so funny,..they want to manipulate us,but we can still win,and they might not even notice
Silent treatment is hurts I lived with very bad Narcissist for 40 I don't know how I was hurt I am divorced after 42 years of marriage It was so hard to live with him he was controlling me verbally abused me I was a servant for him he treated me so bad. Now I have a peaceful life thank you Dr Ramani.
Narcissistic people ignore you and refuse to apologize, a victim of the abuse goes silent after they have had enough of it and refuse to argue with the abuser
"Pretend you are on a silent retreat" -> best advice ever !! 😂 thx Dr Ramani !
The silent treatment used to make me so mad. Now I find it funny. Healing must be taking place.
😂😂
When you actually look forward to the silent treatment ☺️
Same, I am even laughing. Train yourself to not give in!
Amen
@@somethinggood9267 checkout my channel !
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
Each word is true!!!
I am not a narcissist, but a kind person who constantly has his generosity mistaken for weakness.
Toxic people think me an easy mark. I find the silent treatment leaves them bewildered as to what to do next and I highly recommend it as a technique to completely disarm toxic people on your case.
This is my thought exactly as I'm sitting here wondering... "am I a narcissist for completely cutting off communication with a co-worker who has time and time again chopped my head off when I stick out my neck to be helpful??" No, I'm just saving myself from her negative abuse to use me and looking inward and understanding I have a people pleasing complex from my upbringing filled with emotional abuse both from my mom and previous boyfriends.
@@_Tennz Samantha, please listen to WISDOM. You are an innocent dealing with a malicious demon. You did very well cutting off all communication.
DO NOT RESUME COMMUNICATION.
Say nothing to her and it will drive her nuts.
I fight demons daily.
For the first time in 30 years, I have met silent treatment with complete silence!
And no this does not make any of us narcissists: we go silent to protect ourselves. They go silent to hurt us!
11 month - and I am at more peace than ever. So much so that I changed my decision to divorce, and chose to stay. He has no power of any kind anymore. And I live as I please.
@@Lailat854 EXACTLY !
@@Lailat854 same with me
The silent treatment provides the narc with the perfect cover for avoiding engaging with you when he/she wants to go do something else.
Silent treatment is also a good opportunity for you to do whatever YOU want without having to explain, justify, or ask for permission 😉
Couldn't agree more.
Story of my life. She did that all the times
Yea like going to raves & getting drugged up with a slapper ( sorry lonely friend )😂😂👍🏼👍🏼& telling me he never went at all !!! …. Trouble is he was seen all fucked up & all over his new friend …. Rave on I say 😎😎
100%
The 91 "thumbs down" dislikes are from Narcissists who found this video while looking through their SOs browsing history.
O swear this is what I thought when I saw this video has dislikes, but there 99 now! "We've got 99 problems, but a narc' ain't one!". :))
Lol
hahaahhaha i thought the same thing!!!!
Haha yes
I'm an ally for people with NPD, I use my empath privilege for good ua-cam.com/video/fpeMCEyQ698/v-deo.html instagram.com/p/COlZzPajFED/ instagram.com/p/CMZW6a4FHZ5/
I booted mine out and the shock on his face was priceless haha after 11 years a covert and I knew nothing about this. I just couldn't take anymore and he had to go. 18 months later I am doing a lot better. So glad I had the strength and he never looked back
I used to get the cabinet slamming silent treatment all the time as a kid. My mother terrified me. Once, she went 3 whole days of silence and ignoring me. She did (and still does) this cruel behavior with my father.
Don't deal with a person that is wiling to use the silent treatment instead of talking to you directly about the issues that they have with you.
Exactly.
BUT Why keep beating a dead horse. if they wont listen or dont care. Why keep saying the same things over and over.
They have NOTHING to say to YOU! Unless they have a “command”! Unless they command or manipulate they have NOTHING to say to YOU!
They're so/too self absorbed, it's nothing personal!
@@joseenoel8093 I agree, you/I/anyone, didn't do anything to deserve it. BUT on the other hand it is directed at YOU if you are feeling it. Ya know? If you are in the vicinity of the empty vacuous VOID chamber, it SUCKS!
They are nothing. Prove it and get rid of them. They are as worthless as they try to make you feel.
Very true. Simply nothing, they can tell to a woman except instructions or command or insult.
This triggered me... thanks 😊
Thank you. I am in month 4 of silent treatment... I went through layers of doubting myself, anger, hurt, considering to give the apologies, for setting up boundaries. It is difficult to see your loved ones acting like that. You gotta love yourself:)
Wow that is so lo g how you stay in relationship for 4 month of silance ?
I blocket him after 1 week :/
you know you are healed when you welcome it as a BREAK from them and laugh ~ and when they do it ~ you immediately see it
I did get to the point where I longed for the silence
lanell yes it’s almost better than the yelling and name calling
Counting your blessings...
Yes! I found myself quite enjoying it (but not letting them know, of course) such a relief
I wish I got the silent treatment so I could get a break!
If I didn't have to get life done I'd love this 3 month silence...but he has my cell phone, and spare car keys hidden. So silence is fine, but I need simple info.
Narcissists are the most immature individuals I've ever come across. I remember trying a few times to try to talk to a narcissist and reason with them, but once I learned what they were, I realized there was no point in attempting to try to communicate with them like an adult.
Yep...
It's true. Their emotional iq is soooo low..
They are creatures we can't understand at all
Soooo true. “You can’t reason with crazy.”
So true
I saw this silent treatment in my husband of 30 years right at the start when we were friends and he was ignoring his then girlfriend. He also did it to me two weeks before our wedding and I still have no idea why….I could have done with knowing this 30 years ago!!! This is why it’s so important to educate future generations with this information about NPD in all its forms so that we save many possible victims.
He did that in such a chronic way that I understood we were living separate lives and although incredibly difficult I was able to regain my freedom, peace and life back.
Silent treatment... they can dish it out nonchalantly but they can’t take it
My husband has extreme narcisstic tendencies. I have tried to work things out. Lately, being worn down, I just stop talking to him. I am tired, frustrated,, hurt. Why speak when I am not heard?
isn't that the truth!
They can't take any of what they dish out. Abuse and hypocrisy are interwoven in every way.
True their silence is strong and quiet when they realize they misjudged you. It's okay to be wrong I'm not going to give them a hard time for making a mistake. It's a waste of energy to stay mad at them.
As living God's, narcs have a right to judge but you have no right to judge them.
Incapacity to communicate breaks you like hell. It feels like a one sided relationship and makes you feel unworthy and disrespecting.
I feel it exact the same way
I can't immagine, how anyone can actually sleep in the same bed as such a monster!
Is it crazy to say that I hate it but also if the opportunity arise and tried to win me over by saying their side I'd shut down and not say anything to them, I just know they don't care about my side. Instinctively I know she just wants me to be raddle so I shut down to show her that I don't want to waste my time. This person always feels the need for everyone to validate but when it comes to me I can't possibly be right and of course trying to prove it only makes me feel uncomfortable because it's not up for debate.
And in fact, every time I was healing a bit from her nonsense, she used to randomly give me the silent treatment, sometimes for WEEKS. Like suddenly, out of the blue, stop responding to me altogether and then when I was just over it and sort of moving on, then coming back to engage contact like only 5 minutes have passed, and once things started to get into a regular daily routine again, then she would randomly go silent again. This went on and on and on for almost two years, and the emotional exhaustion I felt lasted me for quite a long time after I got her out of my life.
This is all so frustrating and confusing.
@@CloudyNebula Narcissists do this for attention then disappear.
I got the silent treatment for months. 4 years later and divorced, I still get the silent treatment while trying to coparent. So I basically raised my child by myself with no help from mom. It truly is emotional abuse and it's the only type of abuse that can continue without consequences for the abuser.
But why do you want your mother to help you raise Your child?
@@God.sDaughter not mine
Why do you need her ? End the cycle love. She can’t be a loving mother to your baby so fuck her … she’s isn’t even worth to be around . The damage she brings outweighs the fake pebbles of “love”. Good riddance 🎉
My mother gave me the silent treatment beginning when I was a child. She refused to speak to me, but, when she wanted me to do something, she would write it on a piece of paper and slap it down on a table in front of me. I never knew why she did this, and i was much too young to deal with it. Those silent treatments went on for months at a time. I am an only child, and I felt so alone because of that behavior. Throughout our lives, my mother gave me the silent treatment for 2 years at a time. We lost 10 years of our lives together because of this abusive behavior. The only reason my mother's behavior didn't make me crazy was that I realized she did this to everyone: my father, every one of the neighbors, and even her best friend. I realized from a very young age that she was mentally ill. Even so, I took care of both my parents until they died at almost 91. I never felt as though I had a life. I think that both of my parents loved me in the only ways they could (my father was a violent alcoholic and tried to kill me 3 times - until I eloped at age 17), but I also know that they damaged me. Life has always been very hard for me. I find comfort in nature. It has not harmed me.
Wow, you are amazing the way you have survived and even show empathy to your parents. Thats inspiring! I also find peace in nature and that animals can help heal our hearts. Best wishes ✨
I took the silent treatment as freedom to keep the same energy and not ever say a single word to them. This silent treatment is fantastic. Whew thank goodness.
@Hot Fried Grigo and Peerless. Very fantastic 👏
Yeah, it really changed things for me when I started to just silent treatment them back until I moved out,
I fucking wish he'd give me this treatment. He talks hours on end. 🤦♀️
@@theninth5691 great point! A couple of “my narcs” absolutely LOVE to lecture, the feeling of superiority has to be released, and it goes on & on & on, etc…. I’ve finally started “Nipping it in the bud”…
@@janetpattison8474 how does one nip it in the bud. I just let him talk himself bored but that takes forever still.
"an adult tantrum", True. "so be the only adult in the room", Yes. I choose to be the adult when given the silent treatment by a Narcissist. I walk away, and take it as an opportunity to go "No Contact". I'm done with toxic people, period!
Thank you. I needed to read this.
Does it hurt them if you don’t contact them? My narcissist is used to me blowing up his phone and apologizing. This time I am not doing it
My thoughts exactly
@@marthaernest2815 He will most likely move on to an easier target to manipulate and abuse. But don't try warning the next one about his narcissism--your words will just fall on deaf ears.
That is a helpful perspective. Helps me reframe things and not get drawn into the game. Keep some power and dignity.
Oh, here's my mother. I think the longest time she gave me and my sister the silent treatment was for about three years. Truly, three years straight. It's been on and off like that for the last 11 years, so more recently, she gave me the silent treatment straight through these past two years of the pandemic. After which I have decided to finally go no contact, because I simply cannot handle it anymore - not emotionally, mentally, or even physically. My health is shattered. I need to focus on myself now.
If that's the case I don't want to see her anymore it's almost life of she's a living dead to me fr😢
I’m going through this again now because the woman cannot take constructive feedback after she has behaved in a rude, contemptuous and bullying manner yet again. She is predictable, so I have also experienced the silent treatment from her on many previous occasions _ sometimes lasting a year, year and a half etc. I’m sorry to hear of your suffering and hope that you have been able to regain your health and some peace of mind by taking the focus off of her and looking after yourself. I have found that understanding she most likely has a personality disorder and that it will never change, helps me to come to terms with the idea of not having her in my life at all. What can a lifelong abuser bring to our lives but suffering and lost health?
Best wishes to you going forward 🌺
I slowly started to believe as I went through different relationships, that women are like that and how does anyone date them. But as I've been learning about narcissism, I realize, I've been attracted to narcissists all my life, probably because I wanted to be good enough for whatever narcissistic behaviour I experienced as a child. My reality of women was becoming twisted due to my own abuse-seeking personality. I also learned that I have and had a lot of covert narcissism traits so resonating with another narcissist on first impressions was probably automatic for me.
This has been very useful for my own self-analyisis as well as analysis of others.
The silent treatment is only meant to punish. It resolves absolutely nothing. I no longer let it tear me up. I just move along and say, “Silence is golden.” The narc’s silence is better than hearing all the lies every time he opened his mouth.
My brother has treated me this way for several years .I used to get upset and very hurt .
Now I'm just not invested in the relationship anymore to care about repairing it .I will never apologize to him and if he wants to ignore me I'm fine with never hearing from him again.
I consider myself a bigger person than he is
@@lindaeasley5606 I am sorry you’ve had to endure such cruelty. I am glad to hear you’re seeking your own peace. All we can do is grow from these experiences.
@@cloudshadow954 Thank you .Its good to recognize when someone close to you is engaging in cruel behavior so you can move on and put them behind you
Fort Knox is golden,not silence,fool💥
@@lindaeasley5606 my brother is a narcissist for decades now I am realizing ,my poor parents enabling them throughout his entire life , was truly horrible .My mom is dead now so he is narcissist towards his wife now the most ,I ignore him completelly for years now ,I know not to expect anything from him.He even gave my mother a three months long silent treatment while she was sick and dying of cancer ,what to except from a person like that.I am REPULSED by him,but his wife and daughter are nice people and I don't want to hurt them so I keep quiet ,get along with them but ignore him,I pity them but I genuinely can't stand my brother ,not because of me but how he treated our parents was horrific and they payed everything to him ,his studies ,his apartment ,just ugh ,feels me with anger when I think of it all.
I used the silence treatment of his to end the 'relationship' finally. 🥳
So glad it's over.... New year... New Me
Me too. 👍 hang in there. Let's enjoy being us 😊❤
Graciela Oberto,You don't need a narc 😈 in your life at all
@@christianpulisic7784 nobody needs that.
@@pepita86 You are absolutely right dearest 🌹🌹🌷🌹.I am Christian from the States.You?
OMG, this is my mother to the "T". She's currently giving me the silent treatment and I actually prefer it. She's not trying to manipulate me by being a victim. 🙄 When I was a teenager, yeah, I fell for it. I figured her out & her manipulative ways in my 20s.
I'm in my 40s now & geez, she still thinks that I'd fall for her tactics. I actually prefer it this way. Thank you again Dr. Ramani. ☺
Dr.Ramani literally saved my life with her videos. I was on a path to destruction with my malignant narcissist ex fiancée. I lost all sense of myself.. felt like I was a shell of me. I thought I was losing my mind and sense of reality to the point that I was about to put video cameras and voice recording devices all over. I literally lost me. I finally got out and I've never been happier. I still have court for the order of protection but I'm on the path to happiness and serenity. Thank you for opening my eyes
The narc will give you the silent treatment and when you go no contact, they will say YOU are giving them the silent treatment.
Omg yes! I’m currently dealing with that. My narcissist father went a whole year not speaking to me because I dated someone of a different race. So once I decided to go no contact as well, he got angry because I didn’t wish him a happy birthday. So I was the “villain” in his eyes. Smh
Unbothered Perspective yikes! I’m sorry. My ex husband went psycho on me when he found out I’d dated a guy from Salvador. He was so angry with me he started to abuse me! He put soap up my vagina and said I was gross and disgusting. He yelled at me to move to Mexico and have Mexican babies. After the abuse went on and on and on I moved out and he divorced me. A $40,000 wedding and a 5 month marriage!!
THIS is EXACTLY what happened to me. Sick and twisted individuals!
I have been given the silent treatment on and off for almost 9 years now by my in-laws. My husband and I tried to set boundaries and it just became a challenge for the narcs. We went no contact and get guilt tripped like hell from the flying monkeys. The narcs tell us to get over it, but we just don't respond. We are not going to "get over" the racist comments, them calling me a whore, them calling me a bitch, them saying I have cheated on my husband with his friend (which never happened), calling me lazy when I have chronic migraines and other diagnosed medical conditions, tamper with our mail, and so much other junk. We have told them it will take a sincere apology and a longterm change in behavior, but they can never provide either. Thankfully, we have great friends and some healthy family members who keep us grounded. Therapy helped me a lot as well. I have absolutely nothing good to say about them. I hope they have to self-reflect at some point and they are as disgusted with themselves as we are with them.
It’s a complete talent these narcs have with the ability to flip everything and make it your fault and all about them!
It's so hurtful. I call it punishment for expressing my feelings since that's when it happens. It makes me shut down or I end up apologizing
That’s where I am now it hurts a lot 😔
I’m experiencing it right now! It’s ma daughter, but you know what !?!?! This time it was So messed up & cruel & devious
that I’m Not going to give in to her abusive , manipulative behavior ! I’m her punching bag bc she’s delusional & I think, Bipolar. Love her but done with feeling like I was punched in the
Stomach ! Dr. ?? Can she also be bipolar & delusional ? Or does that fall into the same diagnosis?? 🙏🏼🤦🏽♀️
😰Yes
Exactly right. I was accused of not sharing my thoughts. Why do you think that is? You either get a robot you can control or an independent thinking adult.. Can't have both.
🙏🏾😔
I cannot be around people who do this. It is too painful. When you walk away they accuse you of ghosting or being manipulative. They try hoovering and still gaslight you. It's just ugly. You can't defend yourself and it's maddening.
I have endured several years of this and other narcissistic behavior! The man really gave me a hard time with my girls. Blamed me for everything ,mistreated me ,hurt me immensely emotionally,was angry with me every single day of my life!!! Raged at me for silly reasons,saying bad words and insulting me alone and in front of my kids. He never was happy ever for a single moment! My advice for people living with a narcissist: Exit their lives and Never look back! Be happy and save your life!
I’m actually enjoying the silent treatment. Inner peace.
Update she was my roommate and she moved out last month ❤️
Me too, I was so attached to my Ex Nacsis emotionally 😪 but now has been few weeks am doing well
Right now. Me too
Exactly sometimes you've said it all. Why keep talking about something that they don't listen too.
The silent treatment is a way to discipline you if they don’t get their own way and they love the chase if your trying to talk to them and get them to communicate but all that happens is you exhaust and you always end being the one to apologize. Don’t do it
And the crazy thing is....they won't tell you what you did to deserve it....they make you guess so that you end up over-analyzing everything that you have said or done to them for the last several years, so you really never know what it is that you are supposed to fix. Ain't nobody got time for that.
@@gamediva2112 you’re absolutely right!!! My husband gets upset and then wont talk yo me for dayyyyyyyyys!!! Won’t explain why or what he is even mad at! He will leave and then blow up in a text message! Cant even tell me to my face! Oh and he threatens divorce every argument! I am absolutely exhausted! Need to get out
great advice, the way you put it Dre.
I had a guy give me the silent treatment bc he was moving too fast and I told hi I’d give him space, me not chasing he dumped me
@@Marlenagarcia830 This has been a long standing problem in our marriage even before we were married, why didn’t I guess then? I suppose I was just so in love with him and had come from a home where my Mother displayed very similar tendencies. I presumed this behaviour was just kind of ‘normal’ aIso I was only 19 at the time. Married at twenty four. The first time it seriously happened I left but I was lured back after 3 months, stupid move on my part but I was still in crazy in love. The second major silent treatment lasted 8 weeks. Ignored totally, wouldn’t eat the food I’d cooked for us or would only cook for himself. Often out socialising bi weekly with his friends, as well as spending most of the weekends with family and God knows who else. To complicate the problem I’ve a series of autoimmune diseases, five in total, which with all the stress flare up hugely. A week later I unfortunately had a serious breakdown, which I suppose finally compelled him to speak, but it took everything that happened breakdown wise and how terribly ill I was physically to do that. I was a mess for about a year or so afterwards but once again I’m still here. It’s so terribly difficult to leave when your unable to earn your own living and have been entirely dependent on someone else for years. Now it’s happening again and I want and desperately need to leave. After years of having these treatments by him sprinkled on me between the more serious episodes I’ve finally had enough. I’m flaring health wise again so I have to wait for that to resolve before making a move as I’m extremely weak due to 20kg’s of weight loss. I’ve always been small so now I look almost anorexic. Definitely not anorexic as I love to cook and especially eat! I’m presently just too weak to cook and being ignored food wise by him doesn’t help. I’m older now and no doubt life will be lonely and frugal but I’ll be free of this hell, finally. Sorry about the super long reply Marlena. Please, don’t do what I’ve done and waste your life on someone who definitely doesn’t deserve you. Once I was an extremely happy, witty, outgoing, positive and strong bodied person. Creativity and music flowed daily..which has always been my solace. It will again. Stay well and please, do take care. 🙏
I would sit infront of him and beg him to talk to me and he would stay silent this brings me so much relief knowing that he was just being a narcissist
Talk about how narcissists HATE to be silent treated!
@Adam Alexander , It depends on the reason. If you've tried to be heard and discuss a problem, some people will not even try to understand. They may act confused and play games because they enjoy taunting you. I think it's alright to just give up and stop contacting them. It's self preservation in that case.
Yup, Jimena Salas Ugarte, they act angry and then they treat themselves to a night on the town.
@@VNIXmusic I have a similar situation. Where I had to give the silent treatment or we would have been going n the same conversational circle getting nowhere. I had to tell myself enough is enough.
@@VNIXmusic, You were right to remove yourself from his manipulations. All he wanted was a power play, not attempting to come to any understanding.
@Adam Alexander during my almost 4 years with a female narcissist I never gave a purposeful silent treatment because I personally think that mode of behavior is very childish and hurtful
However there were times when she was ranting and raving over basically nothing that I felt it was best to take myself out of the equation temporarily for a cooling off period
Here's another sneaky little fkn manipulation game she would constantly play with me
She would bombard me with text messages and expect me to respond instantaneously to them all which I generally did but when she became preoccupied with something else I would be immediately cut off and if I questioned it later on I would get a tirade
However on occasions that I couldn't immediately respond to a message due to work duties she would go off into an accusatory childish rant laden with false accusations
It really is exhausting and draining and extremely stressful being involved with a narcissist
The reason can be that the narcissist has been cruel to the victim, and then has to punish the victim for looking hurt. Yeah, very bizarre and dysfunctional and completely self-absorbed.
They sure do that.
On month 8 of silent treatment from my narcissistic mother and all of my 5 siblings. She has always used my siblings to mirror what she does to me. She knows it hurts me. The worst thing is, this last round of silent treatment came on the day after my fathers death. I was the one who held and cared for him when he took his last breath. It tore my heart out. Now instead of being there for me they all turned their backs and froze me out. Mad because I cared for my mothers exhusband (my father) is just something I will never understand. I feel as if this current silence is the end. I am done.
Currently receiving the silent treatment from my mother but nearly missed it for what it was, covert silent treatment. A strained martyred smile if we pass each other (victimhood) and a polite response to an email (talking through model) but never making any overtures or initiating a communication or god forbid actually taking responsibility for her behaviour and apologising!. This treatment has stirred up lots of feelings in me from the the urge "to have it out" or extend a palatable olive branch but instead I talked it through with my sister and listened to your podcasts and now I feel comfortable sitting in the silence.
You are blessed to have a relationship with your sister and that you guys could help each other by talking.
Stonewalling, manipulation, gas lighting, silent treatment...all of this is so toxic. What happened to direct honest kind authentic communication?! And yes, I blamed myself vs seeing their emotional immaturity and lack of genuine empathy. Feels heartbreaking.
The best response to the silent treatment IMHO is to ignore it. Go on with your daily routine even enjoy the respite.
Relationship is a two-way street. Both partners should feel comfortable enough to call the other without fear. When someone goes silent, it means they're in 'control'. I use the silent treatment period as a time to reflect on the bad behavior overtime, and decide at that point if this is what I'm willing to deal with for the rest of my life. If not, best to break up and move on.
@@prettydevoted I decided to leave him..for good..
Dr.Ramani has literally saved me so many times from losing my sh!t with a narcissist I’ve been through so much therapy but these videoed help me every now and then 😭
Dr. Ramani gave me new life!!
It's crazy how easy it gets once you realize that the other is not just complicated but an actual Narcissist, seeing them as "psycho" helps A LOT to get red of your feelings and move on.
I thought he was complicated too until I learned about this
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Yes, sad, but it's all I can think of it being because he doesn't treat people at work like this.
@@HealingHappyAli I totally moved on from "my" narcissist and I can tell you that I regret every single ounce of love attention and even thought I gave him, the sooner you move on with your life and kick him out of it the better for you, do not waste any minutes, best of luck
I am on the silent treatment atm. This is the last time as I can't deal with the shit any more
GET OUT! while the getting is good!
Did you do it? I hope you did ❤
no never deal with it ever.
please leave
Same. Here I'm watching Dr. Ramani's videos at 4:04 am.
The more I watch your videos, the more validating they are for me because I keep seeing so many signs of my mother being a narcissist (covert probably?) and it really helps with the self doubt - I don't want to go no contact or completely gray stone, but I am moving out to live on my own, so here's to things becoming better in the future :') thank you for your amazing videos, they've really helped me!
Woman! You doing god work for us men! Some women we came across are waaaaay too narcissistic
Am I alone here? I LOVE the silent treatment. It stops the constant negative, expletive-filled criticism and soul destroying diatribes. Bring it on.
Agreed! Idk if i m narcissistic or not, but silent treatment HEALS me, it gives me time to think instead of nonsense of arguing.
I will literally give anyone, who is wearing out my mind in anyway, the silent treatment. I do not have the malicious intent whatsoever, neither am I throwing an adult temper tantrum. I’m just exhausted and refuse to have a conversation with those I know won’t be open to one. I’d rather have peace, than to be right!
I also need the silent treatment in serous arguments . I need to separate my emotions from the deed or the act . The time to reflect , see it from the other persons point of view and to calmly express my dissatisfaction . I don't see the use in never ending arguments and ramping up emotions until a solution is found
The silent treatment she talking about last sometimes for months not just for day. This is different
@@k.k8000 really months ! How could anyone do that ! Its beyond imaginable
Thanks for reply
My mother loved the silent treatment - she loved to read and would ignore my presence for hours and hours. This woman had 6 kids and I don’t think she ever wanted to marry - she would have been happier as a catholic nun. She admitted to me a few years ago that I was an unwanted child and my existence created massive stress on the family. She doesn’t take responsibility for getting pregnant continuously- she blamed the Catholic Church for not allowing birth control. I feel better knowing she admitted she didn’t want me - the silent treatment and her general disgust for my presence made that truth known very early on. I thought I was a shy kid - I’m actually not - it’s hard to feel vivacious and expressive in a home with tension everywhere. We all looked down on my dad because he was an alcoholic but it is only after his death that I realized my mother put him down so much, that he developed low self esteem and a workaholism. He was a sweet guy and she broke him. Such damage to so many good people. Evil. I’m doing no contact with my mom now - the only way I will survive this life.
She blamed a Catholic Church? Typical, isn't it... Never their fault! Many greetings to you 💐
My mom did that to my older siblings, she'd parade that I was the only one she wanted. Not true, she only said that to hurt the others and I'm the golden child whose gone copper who called and helped the authorities put her away. Keep watching and heal, my covert mom went as far as to say she'd wished she'd never had 'that' abortion as 'that' child might have been 'nice'. She's still at the hospital 🏥 in detox onto long term care, I hope her bed sores chew her down to the bone.
Wow, would not have been a very good nun
I realize that those very harsh words your mother said to you are painful (I don't know her or you) But I'm guessing that you're a tough cookie and the only way she knew to hurt you was to use both barrels. Going "no contact" sounds right--but BE PREPARED that during this time she's revving up for a showdown--If you return the fire she won, gray-rock and out/HANG UP-you won.
Remember, if you return the caustic response with another that's equal or worse than she'll only relay what you said when telling the story pulling you into explaining and YUCK--if you just walk away/hang up--she can only say that you walked away.
I'm sure you've learned her tactics, as Dr. Ramani once said, being associated with a narcissist is like learning a language and acquiring their accent (it rubs off) Unlearn those--your mother sounds disturbed and toxic I'm sorry you're in this situation--you're at the right place and remember to BE PREPARED.
Best of luck to you and good for you for knowing you can do this and it’s ok.
Thank you so much Dr. Ramani, I can feel great shifts in understanding through your work and clarity. I have withstood silent treatment from my sister for over three years and it was something that also occurred in my family when I was a child. I now understand the level of pain and how I was drawn into certain responses, thank you.
I am married to one and I love the silent treatment. I see it as a period of peace.
The silent treatment makes me so mad, so mad that We can’t communicate like normal adults....it’s so frustrating but thankful my eyes are starting to become open
If you are in a narcissistic relationship the best thing you can do is get the hell out of it. It truly is the only way to get your sanity back. they will crush you over time and basically brain wash you with their insanity convincing you the bad things are all your fault. It's not worth it to stay and you will never change them to stop taking all your goodness, wiping their feet with it and kicking it back in your face. They eat kind empathic people for breakfast. Stop feeding them.
They will never communicate like normal.