Maybe this opinion is controversial BUTTTTTTT, if your husband can't stand up for you when his mother insults you, demean you, assaults you (vocally or physically) then MAYBE don't marry into the family. No man and I mean NO MAN is good enough for y'all to be dealing with these crazy women.
Right?! It's controversial to the previous generations, as they were fully indoctrinated into the idea that they are accessories for their husbands and support actors in their husbands "play of life". But not anymore!! We are not buying into that abuse BS!
Abso-freaking-lutely. I'll never be able to wrap my head around MIL's like this, sons that allow it, or women that put up with it. It's all sad, messed up and sad
My fiancé's mum told me she had a horrible MIL and let me know if I ever felt uncomfortable I can talk to her about it. She always backs me up and is so kind and respectful, I didn't realise how lucky I am.
@@aesinamand you know what's worse it's the tradition of continuing to abuse the daughter in law, making it worse the mother in laws who continue this practise are indoctrinated into it because they too went through it..some traditions should be ✋️ . Just because a tradition or practise is normalized does not make it right or healthy.
@@tumweonlycommentary2797It really is. My mother in law is amazing. My husband and I got married 10/31/2022 after being together for almost eight years, had two daughters and I was pregnant with my son and we were just going to go to the courthouse in Las Vegas and get married that way and she went out of her way to find me a wedding dress, and she took my husband to a jeweler to buy me a better ring (we got mine at the pawn shop which didn’t bother me at all) and she set up a little wedding in a wedding chapel for us and then took us to dinner. My own mother didn’t come to my wedding. But my MIL/FIL are the best. My mother is disabled and pretty sickly after being addicted to drugs my entire life so she doesn’t really do much she just sits at home with her cats and watches tv but my in laws always go out of their way to bring her food, and cat food and cat littler and they come and clean her house for her and keep her company and that alone means the world to me. But they’re really good people. I got lucky.
Same! I try very hard to make sure my son in law knows he's fam know and I'm going to listen to his views and be fair. My son's gay hince son in law not daughter in law
My ex husband mother hated me till I was pregnant with my daughter, she stated “ now I can have the daughter I wanted “. That statement sent me through the roof .
My mother in law said "God gave me a chance to be a girl mother" because she has two sons. I was also going through postpartum depression and said I wanted to "off" myself. She said "you doing that would be my dream come true! Then she'll really be my daughter" she ALSO said that because she's not going to be here to help me with my new son he won't be "her child" because she won't raise it like she did with my daughter
Fun fact, the mom getting her grandchild's ears pierced, is illegal!! Any lawyer worth their salt could have that shit brought up as an assault charge so damn easily!
Yeah, my grandma wasn't allowed around us unsupervised until we were old enough to say 'no'. Which was a good call, considering she DID try to pressure us into getting our ears pierced, and got mad when we didn't want to. Its a weird thing grandmothers focus on, but it happens so often 😅
@@krexoriginalplaces that pierce baby ears (which shouldn’t even be done due to the way the earlobes grow and their inability to consent) need parental ID and permission for the consent form…. Aka they’d be staging as the parent or guardian
My son met his girlfriend when she was pregnant. The biological father of the child wanted nothing to do with him, has never seen him. My son has been there since he was born and he is Daddy. They've since had another son together. Both boys are my grandsons and i love them both equally, just as my son does. If anyone aside from his parents decided to just up and tell the oldest that my son isn't his "real" father, I'd be livid. I don't have much time left - terminal cancer - and I'm so happy i got a "bonus" grandbaby. I love them all so much, blood related or not.
I’m so incredibly sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis. Thank you for loving all your grandbabies equally. I promise they will love you forever. Sending love from Australia 🐨
You’re a wonderful soul. You’ve done a great job. I’m so incredibly sorry about your diagnosis. I know your grand babies will look back and reflect on how wonderful you are. And everyone else you’ve graced with your presence.
Why don't you make your husband deal with her? I dated a momma's boy with a boy mom once and I said "I'm not dealing with this, you put a stop to it or I'm gone." It mostly worked.
@@faith1614Cause you fall in love with the person, not their family If your family is being horrible towards your partner it is up to you to set boundaries with your family and if necessary cut ties with those family members if they can’t get their act together And imo, if you’re not mature enough to tell your family off about literally bullying, harassing, and in some cases assaulting your partner, you were never ready to be married in the first place and clearly don’t understand that when you get married that person is your immediate family and should be top priority in your life, not your mommy especially for some of these men in their 30s-40s 🙄 Like, I can understand 18-20 year olds who marry right out of high school having trouble setting these boundaries because they literally just moved out their mamas place 😂 they’d still need to learn if they want to be married so young, but at the same time I also don’t personally think anyone should marry that young and that’s why majority of those marriages don’t work out or have crazy in laws to deal with💀
3 days after my brothers funeral (he was 20 years old. Very sudden unexpected death), my mil demanded I meet her. I said no, I’m not up to it, I’m feeling really exhausted and upset after his death. Her response was “FFS haven’t you gotten over that yet?”
Wtf!!? I would’ve been like you’ve lost the privilege to met me now. Did you husband say anything to her?? Btw my condolences 💐 I lost my bro too 2 years ago 🫂
I'm so sorry. I lost my brother unexpectedly this past March (and my mom last year, also unexpectedly). We all lived together. It is so, so, so hard. ❤
That’s fucking wild, I lost my grandma and then my cousin 3 months apart, and I couldn’t properly talk to anyone and my friends never texted me In the week or two after it because I said I didn’t want to talk to anyone, the idea of someone completely ignoring that, then being an asshole over losing someone is so upsetting. I’m sorry for your loss, it can be difficult especially someone so close and young, I hope you and your family have or can heal from his passing:)
I feel especially bad for the woman in the first video. I did not even know there was an insult for people who were SAed. That’s horrific. It’s like what I imagine a demon would insult someone with. That’s how bad this was.
It's even worse when her minions are her daughters...apparently my sil is the aunt of my children to my mil, but I am not family 😂 despite being married to her son for 14years
I married into a different culture than my own, and having my mother in law hate me was one of my biggest fears. Thankfully, i have an amazing mother in law. Although we've had disagreements, i still love her. It also helps that my husband speaks up when we've had disagreements.
My mother in law told me at dinner in a nice restaurant, with her son present, “a Cesarean is the only way to go. Men prefer a woman who’s had a cesarean over vaginal birth, ask any man!”. She also has said that me having my son, “I get to make up with [my son] what I lost with [her son].”. She’s also said she wants to wear him around town and tell everyone he’s hers. Most recently she’s said my baby looks nothing like me but everything like her and her family. I often think of running away.
Do it. If you're husband hasn't stood up for you by now he never will, and you will eventually resent him. He probably can't stand up to his mom himself. And with a mom like that, I'm sure he isn't a very well adjusted person either. If you cant leave, try to severely limit contact with her you don't want that kind of toxicity in your life
When I was pregnant and broke up with my ex, he decided he didn’t want to have anything to do with our son but I was still trying to be respectful and considerate by letting his family be involved. I didn’t know his mom was so manipulative, sneaky, and was talking crap about me behind my back because my ex was cheating on me the whole time and she knew about it. Long story short, she tried to make me beg her son to be in our baby’s life and when I wouldn’t, she started being extremely controlling and didn’t want me to let my baby be around my ex’s stepmom just because she didn’t like her. When I wouldn’t fall for it and decided to let my ex’s other side of his family be around our son and to cut his toxic mom off, she convinced him to fight me for custody after she got shut down for grandparents rights. Our son was only 2 months old and had only met my ex’s other side of the family and not her but because she felt entitled to our son, she got him to fight me so she could still be around our son. I made it to where she only sees our son if my ex decides to utilize his parenting time. Some women are absolutely insane. Her other child is gay and she felt as if our son would be her only chance at using a grandchild for social media attention. Our son still barely knows her although my ex picks him up every other weekend. If it’s not a holiday for attention and pics, she doesn’t care to see him lol
We grew my son's hair out until he was 8, however my mother-in-law was used to her other daughter and son in laws who are very passive...... She took him to a salon and had 3 in of his hair cut off and thought I wouldn't notice. We absolutely, but semi-kindly, laid down the law of "if you ever touch my child again and change something on his body, you will not see him in real life. You will get FaceTime calls from him from 20 minutes away, but you will never lay a finger on him or kiss his cheeks until he's a teenager". Her middle son married an outspoken, very confident woman, whose parents raised me to stand up for myself. She's great now, truly, but it was a bit of a rocky time when I got pregnant and had the baby, up to 2 years old.
Don't get me started on my father-in-law, a fcking doctor, giving my 2-month-old raw brownie batter by the spoonfuls 🙄😑🤬🤬🤬 I had no words, I walked in the kitchen saw what was happening, picked him up didn't say a word, slammed the door on my way out and we did not see them for a solid 2 and 1/2 Weeks......
@B.Harper7 What your father in law did is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE!! The baby could have gotten very sick. 😵💫 I had to re read what you said. Feeding brownie batter to a TWO MONTH old????!?!! What the actual hell? Was he trying to make the baby sick on purpose? Like...
My sister in law shared with me a bit about how my MIL conducted herself when she had her baby. She told me that she was constantly taking the baby away from her and not letting get any time with the baby and when her husband stepped in, she got furious and told him “ITS MY BABY!!!” and booooy. I’m nervous for when I have a baby now as me and my husband are trying.🙁
12:16 there is a case where a grandmother applied coconut oil to her infant granddaughter’s hair before bed, AFTER being told by her mother that she is *severely* allergic to coconut. the next morning the baby was found dead due to severe allergic reaction(s).
15:13 My MIL came to "help out" when I got out of the hospital. Her "helping out" was to watch the baby so I "could get my house back in order" (housecleaning). And then told me I was selfish for exclusively breastfeeding and not giving her a chance to "bond" with my daughter by giving her a bottle. My daughter wasn't even a week old yet. And when we were discharged from the hospital we had to take our newborn to the closest children's hospital for an emergency heart echo. Straight from one hospital to the next, and she has the audacity to come over the next day and tell me I need to clean my house, like I'm a teenager defiantly refusing to clean my room.
@steph.v.o.7078 the only time he defended me was when his mother physically attacked me and threatened to kill me. He shoved her away from me, but the next day told me it was my Christian duty to "turn the other cheek" and forgive her. The only reason we aren't divorced is because I can't afford it.
@@PhoenixRising883there is a way around paying the money, for a divorce. Look into it!!!! 👍. Just leave, file the papers with the court, and put a public notice in the newspaper that you want a divorce. As long as he doesn't see it (to can answer it), it will go thru automatically and won't be contested, and it won't be a long drawn out, expensive divorce. 😁🫂. YOU ARE NOT TRAPPED, AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS OR LIVE LIKE THAT! 🫂.
My mother-in-law told me when I was pregnant and 18 that if I didn't want the baby to give it to her... I laughed at her in her face. Like that crazy lady lost all her kids at one point in her life to drugs and alcohol. Then she had the nerve to accuse me of cheating on her son and claimed that my child wasn't his. Luckily my kid looks nothing like me and everything like her dad. Her aunt on her father side told her mother to stop tripping.
My exes mother tried to use my son as her second chance baby because she abandoned and neglected all three of her kids due to drug and alcohol and sex addiction when they were growing up. She started calling him son and not correcting him when he’d call her mama (he did it in front of me once) I shut that down SO fast, then went completely no contact when we found out she was still abusing drugs after lying for months and months about it.
I literally gave birth YESTERDAY and I only had baby’s dad in the delivery room with me, I cannot imagine having anyone else there when I’m at my most vulnerable!!
16:04 THAT WAS MY FATHER IN LAW!!!!!!!! 🤬🤬😭😭😭😭😭😭 The baby had been out for a grand total of maybe half an hour when I started seeing my phone blow the hell up. I finally took a call from my best friend and she told me to give the phone to hubby 😂🤣, told him that his dad posted pictures of the brand new baby, Me naked under a sheet holding the baby, and a photo of the three of us sleeping after the baby had been weighed and measured and handed back to me. 😳🤯😳🤯🙃 Thank God she told him to tell everybody to not mention it to me, until I was back at home, so I didn't start bawling my eyes out when I was supposed to be enjoying my brand new baby.
As a single woman, it breaks my heart that so many women go through that. I'm sure there must be some crazy girl parents out there, but it looks like the woman always get the toughest time here.
i have never had a baby but if i just carried for 9-10 months, went literally almost as close to dying without actually dying and then witnessed someone else call them "their baby" i think i would be absolutely pissed bc also think of all the hormones and emotions going on like absolutely not show respect (besides the father)
Honestly no matter how many crazy MIL stories I hear they still manage to surprise me because the audacity of some of them. I can't imagine that because of what I have learned from my mom. She never really liked my sister's boyfriend (now ex) because of valid reasons but she never overstepped boundaries and never thought to get between them because she said it was my sister's relationship ( a thing meant for two). I have younger brothers and I know that when we get in relationships and while I would hope she accepts them, I know that even is she didn't, she would never do anything like this.
My hubby died at 32. We were married 5 yrs, his mom died when he was 8 so his older sister raised him. He tended to ignore when she was bullying me. In the end I didn’t want her in our house when I was there. It was just causing so many fights between my husband and I. But turned out he was going to tell her about every fight we had 🤦♀️. I didn’t even tell my mom, it’s private, married life stuff. Just angers me that she caused so many rows and he ignored it and we ended up only getting 5yrs. Life’s too short. After we had our son we went to stay with my parents for 2 weeks because it was the only way I was guaranteed peace.
After my parents married my mom's mother was adamant that "I will not get involved in any fights the two of you may have. Your arguments are none of my business, and I will not take sides." and she held to that. My mom didn't really deal with a MIL because my dad's parents kicked him out when he was 15 (they were alcoholics and just... sucked). He met my mom when they were both 16, and her mother basically claimed him as another of her sons and "finished" raising him. He always called her Mom, too. I'm so sorry that your time with your husband was cut so short and was so rocky because of your MIL. I hope you've been able to find peace.💜
I used to feel horrible with the fact that my MIL didn’t like me, but then seeing all these makes me not feel so alone! Some mothers are literally just psychotic. It’s actually a lot more common than people think but still sucks being on the receiving end of this 🙃 I’ve set boundaries and now we barely see my in laws because my MIL feels she should be able to come and go as she pleases and should be able to take my kids whenever whenever she wants. Excuse me? Yeah I’ll pass on that. I don’t need her to like me 😘
The story of the lady whose mother told her grandchild her dad wasn't her dad: 100% it was wrong on the mother to spill that kind of revelation to a kid. The parents are in the wrong to though. Why did they not tell the kid since she was of age of understand?? She's 17/18 now and STILL didn't find the "right time" to sit with her and explain? What would've happened if she decided to do an ancestry and me test? Now instead of taking care of it early now they have to deal with the fallout of a legal adult who may not take it kindly that she's been lied to her whole life. Plus it seems the person knew their mom's character, that's even more reason to not keep skeletons that could be used as ammunition.
I was adopted, and I was raised knowing I was adopted for as long as I can remember. They made it a special thing that was my favorite story, how my mom "picked me out" special at the hospital. In reality she was pointing to my bassinet for the nurse to hold me up for her to see, but 4yo's don't understand that's not how adoption actually works. 😂 Adoption doesn't have to be a traumatic thing unless the adults AROUND the adopted kid MAKE it traumatic by doing STUPID SHIT like not telling them if their bio parents are different than their real parents (I hate the term "real" for bio parents... your real parents are the ones who loved and raised you!). In my case my parents specifically asked the social worker assigned to my case how to best handle it for me, and she told them to do exactly what they did. Tell me I was adopted, but not from who or where unless I specifically asked. I never did because I never cared. I was happy where I was. It was such a missed opportunity for that one couple. She could have been raised being told by her daddy that he CHOSE to be her daddy because he WANTED to be her daddy because he loved her so much, and that she was his special bonus child, gift, and joy. God I feel so bad for that poor girl.
My EX MIL invited herself into the delivery room. She also downplayed the pain i was in, to make me feel bad, after i had finally got the boy out. It had been 3 days of me in labor, with no epidural (they said he was too big and i needed to feel it to push) . By that point they could've put me in a packed football stadium and I wouldn't care. Looking back on it after I feel like she took complete advantage of my vulnerability in the most pain I've ever felt. She's done other things but that in particular feels egregious.
Holy shit that is beyond disturbing, she absolutely took advantage of the situation. I'm so sorry, I know you know this, but you didn't deserve that at all. I don't care if she's dealing with her own demons, or fighting the fact that *her* mother-in-law acted like that, doesn't matter, that's disgusting. You deserve so much better. If hubby didn't stand up for you, he fcked up too. JUST AS much as your mother in law fcked up, truly. Ughhhhhhhh, so many internet mama hugs to you babydoll 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋
@B.Harper7 thanks for the kind words, she is and was a m3th user, who I'm sure had a bad childhood. Ex hubby was also using but I didn't know. And he was just generally not nice to me anymore. I was deep in grief over my older sister being struck in a crosswalk and dying (ex in laws acted up at the funeral) I made a lot of poor choices and was oblivious to a lot of stuff at that time. I'm away from all of them now, thankfully. I mostly feel bad for them, some people don't make it out of their h3ll and I did. I hope they do better. U are super kind, I appreciate that 🥰
Oh I have a story!! When I gave birth to my first child, I was a bit of a B to my mom. Every time she would touch me to comfort me, I would tell her to stop. Of course she didn’t, because she was trying to “comfort me”. And then it got to a point where I scream “STOP TOUCHING ME!” She started crying and said, “Fine, I won’t be here next time”. So when my second child was born, my mom babysat my son, and I asked my EX Monster in Law to be there. HUGE mistake! She’s a CNA (basically one step above an orderly) and so of course she assumes she knows better than the doctors! When I was almost fully dilated, the nurses told me my doctor was on his way, but I needed to try to calm myself, because my doctor told them I was an important patient (we’d been through a lot. 2 miscarriages, and he delivered my first child 7 years prior) so basically they told me to hold my legs together, and wait until he was there. I didn’t have a problem with that. I wanted him to deliver my child, as much as he wanted to be the one to deliver her. But my mother in law had a different opinion. She kept opening my legs and telling me to push! The nurses were SOOOO mad! At one point they told her if she didn’t stop, they were going to have to ask her to wait outside. In hindsight, I wish they would have anyway!! The stuff I had to endure from this woman in the 18 years of having her as my Monster in Law… Would choose a stranger off the street in her place if I could. 🙄🤷🏼♀️
Well... Perspective is everything. And actually, your MIL WAS RIGHT!!!!!!! holding your legs closed waiting for your doctor, was a terrible thing for those nurses to tell you to do. Your child could've lost oxygen, and been born with cerebral palsy, or been brain damaged from the lack of oxygen. Baby also could've been born stillborn. So... Your MIL was actually trying to help you in the best way she ever could have. She ignored your sentimental feelings about the doctor, in support of your child's life, and support of the best birth possible. And I'm sorry that she ignored your feelings about it, but seriously, that was dangerous!!!! She did what was best for you and your child...and sometimes you have to ignore what somebody WANTS, to do what's best for them. So idk.. maybe your justified in not liking her, because of other reasons. ...but please cross that reason off your list. 🤷♀️🫂🫶🙏. Glad everything worked out, and the baby is ok, and you're ok. 🫂. I hope this comment changes your mind about her, in that situation. 🫂
I was letting my sons hair grow it was this beautiful strawberry blonde color w curls at the ends. My FIL took him to get his first haircut w out our permission, and didn’t save any of it. I was livid.
dont and never will have a kid, but if a grandparent starts going "awww *my* child/daugher/son" girl get tf out the room and give the parent THEIR CHILD back
My MIL is a nightmare. She overstepped a TON of boundaries. 1)when my husband proposed. She held her diamond up to mine and compared them. 2) she took my daughter with her to her appointment TO GET HER BRAZILIAN WAX! And didn’t think she did anything wrong!! And had the audacity to ask other women because she needed “another mother’s opinion on the situation bc I made a big deal about out it” 🙄
My monster in law literally gave my son his first haircut on a day that they took him out to go see some family. Didn’t save me any of his hair and didn’t bother telling me at all and blew it off when I confronted her. That is a hate I will take beyond the grave.
Absolutely thanking my lucky stars for the MIL I got. I love her dearly and I wouldn't know what to do without her some days... Just before my husband proposed, my MIL told him he better not lose me because if he did she was abandoning him for me (at the time I thought she was joking, now I'm not so sure)... She also told him if we ever get divorced she's keeping me at the wedding... She was also super awesome when I had each of my children, understanding my concerns and preferences and just offering support. She has been an absolute GODSEND during my middle child's chemo... I must have really lucked out. There's not been any competition between her and my own mother, either. I'm so sorry some of you got just downright AWFUL MIL's.
I don’t mind the grandparents or aunties and uncles calling my children their babies because they all pour into them and they also love and support their mother. They’ve earned it!
i love this point of view, I never realized it meant good for some families. My mom and grandma fight constantly and part is because at one point as a baby she was making me call her my mom and my actual mom lost it
Whew... My MiL has been a nightmare but my partner, her son, is a great example of why I don't want or need her advice for my child. My partner left me at the hospital hours after I got a c section. He only came back to pick us up 🙃 His mom, dad and two aunts came to visit the next day after giving birth at the hospital. His aunt kissed my baby on my child's head. Mind you, its flu season. I was stuck in bed and could barely walk on my own at that point. My MiL actually wanted my child to call her Mommy instead of grandma or lola(filipino term for grandmother) and I was super annoyed... I am my child's mommy... Once I got home from the hospital, my MiL decided to invite a bunch of family(kids included) to spend time with my child. My child was only 8 days old and my MiL couldnt even bother to ask anyone to wash their hands or ask if they were vaccinated 😡 I refused to bring my child out to see them. I just kept telling them the baby was asleep. My child is my responsibility and I will not risk her life or well being to appease anyone. This isn't the way I want my relationship to be with my MiL nor do I want to get in the way of my child and her being close but alas, she chooses to put my child in risky situations so I have to be more careful with her around my child.
you're very good at narrating you make it seem as if what you're reading and saying out loud is your own words and story i love it it relaxes me like a storytime
9:23 that’s so normal. This makes me thankful that my in-laws respected me in the birthing room. My mom is a baby nurse and I had the baby at the hospital she works at. Of course there was no one I wanted in the room more than her.
My ex MIL got mad at me because I wouldn’t let her plan our wedding 😅 when I basically ignored her and kept moving on she tried bringing my mother into it who then stood up for me. She often would send her son back to our shared apartment with her list of demands. At the time I went through with the wedding because they had led me to feel I was being selfish by not doing what they wanted. Age and space can really make you understand things you didn’t realize earlier.
Not my birth story but my niece’s. She just had her baby in June of this year. Lulu isn’t the first grand baby on our side of the family but she is the first in her husband’s side. They decided that they were only going to have themselves in the room. She had a scheduled c-section due to the babies size, 11 lbs 3oz. Her MIL absolutely detested that idea that she wasn’t allowed at the hospital. My brother and sister in law were fine with it. They already had 6 grandkids and they knew better than to question what mom and dad said. They had me listed as her backup coach in case he couldn’t be there if he had to report for deployment. They also knew that I’d need be, I’d happily kick out anyone my niece didn’t want to be in there. They both told the in-laws, with me and my brother as witnesses and backup, that in no uncertain terms is anyone else allowed in the room. They didn’t even want them at the hospital. They wanted that time to bond with the baby first. Thankfully her husband was able to be there. But the cops had to be called because somebody didn’t listen. You want to know the irony of that is? It was her own son who responded to the call to remove her from the hospital.
Ex’s Mom also felt that I shouldn’t wait until my baby was vaccinated for visitations, demanded to have pictures first before my ex’s stepmom, etc a few days after my c-section and told my ex that it’s not that big of a deal because she had a c-section too although I had complications with mine as well. Yup, that was my experience as a first time mom. Little advice: if your man’s mom doesn’t like you and he doesn’t have a backbone, DON’T give him babies! He’ll let her do what she wants and she’ll throw it in your face that you can’t do anything about it if there’s a custody order lol judge won’t care either and see you as “petty”, “bitter” or “controlling”. Luckily, I had a decent lawyer to fight those allegations so although I can’t stop her from being around my kid, I was able to limit her time with him an extreme amount and block her from my life!
here's a wild birthing story- for context, i was 8 years old when my mom was pregnant with my youngest brother. there was a 3 person limit for the delivery room. now let's begin: when my mom went into labor, i was told i would be allowed to be in the room with her. i was SOOO EXCITED!! the other two people in the delivery room would be my dad (obvious) and my mom's mom (also obvious). my dads mom is a very narcissistic woman. when the labor began, all of us were in the delivery room while my dads mom was in the waiting room with my younger sister. dads mom was SO UPSET that I "TOOK HER SPOT" in the delivery room (it's MY SIBLING, mind you...and she is not my moms mom). I got to see my baby brother come into this world and she is STILL angry about it till this day. my brother just turned 15. we can't even bring up his birth around her because she always passive aggressively remarks that she missed out on everything because of me. she also absolutely hates my moms mom, who is the nicest human on this damn planet, because almost everyone who meets her loves her and my mom wanted her own mother to help her through the birth. TLDR: I took my dad's mom's spot in the delivery room 15 years ago for the birth of my bro and she is STILL MAD about it
My children are MY babies. I got very territorial when my MIL did that with my youngest. My MIL tried to have her HER mother in my room as I was giving birth to my youngest was probably the icing on the cake because my family was also being assholes. My son and I were in distress. I gave birth at 6cm, if I couldn’t do it, I was being wheeled back for emergency c section. My own father told me if I lost my son, I could just have another to replace him. So my family is no better. My MIL is nothing compared to my family really and she’s learned after 10 years not to stomp my way because I won’t wait for my spouse to take care of the situation.
This is why it bothers me when people say something along the lines of “you’re marrying the man not the family” nope. You’re always marrying the family. Unless he cut all contact. In an ideal world both the groom, the bride and all extended family members would understand that the marriage means they will be putting each other first and the family should help in the success of their marriage. But sadly that isn’t the case 😅
My dad told me this before I was married. He was 100% right. You marry the family AND the man. And the type of man you marry will influence the type of relationship you have with his family. They might be toxic AF but if he asserts his boundaries they will not be like that. I’ve lived it, both sides & I know there’s a way through. But it requires the man (or wife if it’s her family) to step UP.
My MIL turned up to the hospital with an entourage in toe (her 2 sisters, their husband's, her son, his partner and 3 nephews) so my SIL (her daughter) told everyone that isn't my husband and parents to get tf out of the room (in those exact words lol. She knew I was way uncomfortable with everyone there). Then when I went for emergency c section, got upset that she wasn't allowed in the theatre with me. She stuck around to meet my sin and refused to let my mum hold him until my SIL had to force her to give baby over. After we get discharged, she demands that we take baby to visit her (which we didn't. I wanted to go home and rest) then turned up announcing a name she had picked for him (not that she had any say over it) then proceeded to go into a tantrum because I said no! Had to ring her daughter to come over and remover her mother and tell her to stay away. After a week, we allowed visitors to come visit so she turns up with another entourage and starts demanding I get up and make dinner for everyone. This time my husband lost his 💩 and kicked her out. It was a very upsetting time as I didn't get to enjoy those first precious moments in peace
My nanna (Grandmother) would literally ask my parents for permission to get a temp tattoo which I find is the best attitude to this, making sure that there is no bad blood between parents it's probably the best attitude and it makes sure you can see them again with no tension. ALSO she stayed with my brother at HOME and looked after him while my mother and father were at the hospital, SHE WASN'T THERE for mine or my brother's birth and was completely fine with it. She only then held me when my mother went to bed after handing it to my nanna for her to hold. She's such a kind person and I'm lucky that she's still alive today ❤️
Why are so many MILs so unhinged? My mom also had very bad experiences with both her MILs, she's been married two times. I think the most unhinged thing that happened was when my dad sadly passed away when I was three years old, he committed s-word. So naturally everyone was schocked and grieving. But the first thing that his mother did was call the police on my mom who was traumatized and was now a single mother to two equally traumatized kids. She had blamed my mom of somehow causing his death because she just wanted his money or something like that. The police had to make a quick investigation on that but the cause of death was very clear. That left my moms MIL livid and she just couldn't except what happened and kept harrasing my mom and the police until they threatened her with a restraining order. "Funny" thing is that he left a bunch of letters and notes with multiple statements about his traumatizing childhood and how his parents especially his mom ruined his life and his mental health. So, yeah
My ex was extremely abusive, and his mother never believed me. She was a lawyer, and did everything in her power to protect him. She told me she would take a baby away from me , and then wonders why we never had kids. I see my own mother make all of his girlfriends turn away . Why do moms do this ?
When my ex’s affair came to light and I was completely broken, my MIL that just “loved me sooo much” didn’t say shit to me for almost two years. Not one gd word.
These "mothers" treating their son's wives/partners as test tubes that grow the grandchildren is unacceptable. Is there any story of the wife's mother standing up for her daughter and facing of the MIL?
When my grandson was born I didn't have a car and still don't. My son in law went to get my daughter a good hamburger after and he picked me up on his way back. I had a bit of a cough so I wore a face mask, this was before covid and it was probably just an asthma cough but I wanted to be careful. When we got to the room my daughter dug into the hamburger and my son in Law got the baby out and watching the two of them bind was so cute. His mom came by and her husband drove me home. It was an amazing event. My grandson has three grandmothers and we are all different and he does different things with each of him. It works out
My MIL was not sure that I was the right person long term for her son (we were young) but was still nice to me & respectful. Over years we have become close & now I feel like she's not just a mom but a friend. I love her! Men should not allow their mothers to be cruel to their wife or vice versa (I've seen both). Men & women both need to realize you are combining families and everyone needs to respect each other even if they don't like each other and if it's not possible/you won't break ties then you are not right for each other.
So my MIL is actually crazy. She’s really into numerology and decided she wanted to do a chart about me. At first I didn’t mind because I’m open to people’s spiritual beliefs. Anyway she did this chart and then told my husband it came up in my chart that he’ll leave me for someone else, someone who can give him a child. He was beyond furious and ended up in a huge fight with her over it. All of this stems from the fact I have endo, and both me and my husband don’t want to have children. MIL however demands to be a grandparent because it’s her “right”. She quite literally even argued my own medical history with me having endo because “it didn’t come up in your chart. So are you SURE you even have it?”. It’s actual insanity and thankfully my husband is very much excited to go no contact. I’ve heard the things she has said in regard to woman’s health and autonomy and it’s genuinely terrifying.
My grandma made the “you look like you still got another one in there” comment to my aunt hours after she gave birth to my cousin. I was 10 but I’ve never forgotten it & I wanted to disappear. As for me, i had a scheduled C-section. I wanted to get to the hospital & just get settled in & I told my family to come about an hour before I was to go back. My mother in law showed up 20 minutes after I got checked in, wouldn’t leave the room & brought a gift..for someone else. I called my mom crying to get there asap. Then I went from check in triage to like the labor & delivery suite & again, she wouldn’t leave. She was answering for me when MY dad was asking me questions. Finally I got so overwhelmed I asked everyone to leave but I was trying to stare a subliminal code to my mom like don’t leave but she willingly guided everyone out & followed thinking it’s what I wanted. I wanted that time with my mom & I feel like it was robbed from me. yes I should have spoken up & just said mom I want you to stay though but I didn’t. I was young and hadn’t found my backbone yet. My mom died 5 weeks later.
My mil tried to convince my son I was his “other mother” and she was his “real mommy”. A few months later tried to convince my husband and I to let her carry our “next” baby. I had ovarian cancer and can not carry children anymore🙃 so fun.
My FIL hates me. He’s hated me since before he met me. He’s spread rumors he made up to the whole family before I even met them. He’s spent my entire marriage trying to make himself the center of it. He’d been emotionally abusing his son all of his son’s life and he felt like his son was his property to control and therefore his son’s money should be his. That’s all he cares about is being in control. He lived in our house for two years (because he’s financially illiterate and needs someone else to foot the bill for him) and he talked about how much he “loves” his granddaughter and in the two years he lived here, he saw her twice. He also screamed at her when she opened the door to say hi to him and his wife.
Pregnant with my first, just graduated college and job searching. I went to college late in my 20s so I was 29 at the time. My husband’s job didn’t offer insurance for me so he had been paying out of pocket for mine while I finished school. We told our parents early and asked them to wait a few weeks before sharing the news. The day after we told my in laws my MIL called and said “I know you said not to tell anyone but I called my friend and told her because she’s a nurse and she said you need apply for Medicaid as soon as possible.” (1) I HAD insurance and (2) I was a 29 year old college graduate with a degree in social work. If I needed Medicaid I could have figured it out.
I ended up having emergency c-section. My MIL worked as a cleaner at the hospital. Before I was fully awake & before I seen my son, the nurses let her into the nursery & she gave him a bath and fed him & dressed him in an outfit. I should've been glad it was family who did those things for the 1st time, but I've never gotten over feeling robbed of those moments.
I hate how people think these things are favors. They’re absolutely not favors unless they are disclosed to us and we consent to them , I’m so sorry that happened to you
I agree it wasn't the MILs place to tell the child about their biological parentage, but I strongly feel kids should know sooner rather than later. It can really upend your world if you find something like that out in your teens.
On the birth thing, I didn't think about it until my friend pointed it out, that I won't get to be there for special moments with the baby because I had a boy, and the women would want her mum not me. It did make me a little bit sad, but I don't think I would need to litteraly see them bieng born anyway 😅. But wow some of these women have no boundaries at all, feel sorry for the daughter in laws !
Piercing a baby's ears can go so so left. Infection, permanent damage such as scarring, can even lead to trauma and fear of needles. Its always better to wait until the child is old enough to consent to getting their ears pierced. Also theyll actually remember it and itll be more special for them, and please please please for the love of all things good and great DONT TAKE THEM TO CLAIRES. GO TO A REPUTABLE TATTOO/PIERCING SHOP THAT ALLOWS CHILDREN PIERCINGS PLEASE.
For me it's a little different, my mother in law is from Mexico and barley speaks English so it makes it difficult to communicate with her. But there was no miscommunication when she straight up told me that my son (who was an infant at the time) was her baby, and she wanted to keep him. Like no he's Not your baby, I gave birth to him not you. I felt bad for putting her in her place, because everyone in the family looked at me like I was insane. They don't understand boundaries so I had to make sure they understood mine. My child is mine your the grandma not his mother. I'm the one that's up with him when he's sick. I'm the one teaching him to be a decent human not you. You had your chance with your kids. Bottom line grandmothers/ mother in laws need to back off, once your kid gets married that's it your no longer number one. Your at the bottom of the list sorry sweetie. Edit: unfortunately she was in the room when I gave birth. My mom passed away when I was 15, so all I've had was my dad. I wanted him in the room because I wanted to feel comfortable. But he insisted I let my mother in law stay in the room. All she did was stress me out the whole time with her stupid pacing back and forth. I told my husband to make her sit down and shut up. Well she listened to half of the instructions she sat down right next to me. Acting like she's by birthing coach and started screeching when he started crowning. I shot a look at my husband, and he took action. He told her if she couldn't control herself she'd have to wait in the hall like everyone else. I think that was the moment she started hating me, but honestly IDC she was insufferable and I couldn't take it anymore
I struggle with this, and can relate SO MUCH! I feel like I'm in a worse position, considering I had the first grand baby on my husbands side. All I heard my entire pregnancy was "How's my baby doing?" They always think they know what to do, or how to care for YOUR baby. It seriously pisses me off.
This video makes me extremely grateful for the mother in law I have and the one I had before her. I kept the in laws in my divorce. They’re still part of my family. My husband has helped my former mother in law. My current mother in law and I have had a wonderful relationship. I’ve been blessed with extended family.
That last story hit close to home for me. My daughter is eight. When she was one, my mother in law took her son and me to court for visitation of our daughter because I would not let her take my child alone....My child was never away from me. She didn't stay with anyone until she was five and even then, it's my sister that she stays with (because I can trust my sister... unlike either grandma, my ex's mom or mine). She didn't even know my child and had maybe seen her three times in her life. So she took us to court while I was taking care of my dying grandpa (the only "dad" I ever had) and we had our last court date nine months later, the day after my grandfather passed away, where she lost in court and tried to hug me and tell me she was sorry about my grandpa. I walked out without a word. She has still never kept my daughter.
I'm so thankful for my in-laws, they've been a second set of parents to me, and helped raise our kid. Sometimes I feel guilty about sending our child to them during school vacations, then they tell me the lists of things they've been planning to do with him for weeks because they missed him so much. I'm truly blessed, tbh when I'm mad at my hubs, I think of them😂.
My sister's MIL bought the exact same color dress as the mother of the bride (our mom) and then stood outside for 7 hours in the rain until my sister apologized for telling her to get another dress. Bonus: She sobbed loudly the ENTIRE ceremony.... my sister's married 29 years but boundaries were made and thankfully her husband enforced them. I have ended a relationship because of my boyfriends mother.. I'm not fighting a mother for her own adult son.
The fact of some grandparents (and sometimes parents too) just pierce babies ears, like literal babies under three years old, is ridiculous. Why is that allowed. I think in my country we have laws against that. I got my ears pierced at ago 4 or 5 because I asked for it and I was brave enough to not cry. But I can't even imagine babies going through the pain and all. At 4/5 I was at least old enough to understand the basic care I needed to take for my new piercings
my grandma is the toxic mother in law, my uncle have been married with his beloved wife for 1 year. He love her dearly he take cares of her and let her use her money whatever she wants because he use his money to pay the neccesity, my aunt's makeup dan skincare. Anyway my grandma is bitter about this eventhough she got the SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY AND ATTENTION. Her behavior and what he had talked about my aunt is beyond disgusting. I'm so sick and tired hearing her talk bad things about my aunt while I already have told her to change and be better again and again
Got married and had my daughter 2021. We had zero guests at our wedding/elopement and my mom was at the hospital, but no other family was allowed because of Covid and I thought it was great.
As much as my MIL disliked me, she sat with me almost the entire 28 hours of labor with my first child. Not my ex husband, not my own mother, but the woman who said to my face she hated me.
😅 I can barely handle my own mother let alone someone else's. My advice is if you do not let complete strangers speak to or treat you like that, then you shouldn't let "family relations" speak to or treat you like that. Respect is earned. And yes this is coming from someone who grew up in a culture where children are not seen nor heard and women are seen but not heard. But I was raised in America with Western ideologies so sucks for them when they have to deal with my attitude 😂
I WILL SAY, that I do have great sympathy for these women who had this exact thing happened to them, and now they are in the grandmother position, so they think it's just natural. Anyone trying to deviate from that, is "the disrespectful daughter-in-law who doesn't care or respect her ideas/parenting" 🤔🙄 Doesn't make it okay in the slightest, but I at least see where the chaos came from, BUT instead of going to therapy for the abuse shoved on to them, they think it is their turn to hoist it on another woman.
My husbands mom kept making comments, those of you who know- know, just a bit of a way to disregard me here or there, would literally like shrug off my conversation attempts and give me low key dirty looks. I grew up in an environment like that and truly hate it- being unsure if people who are supposedly family are being nice or insulting me. But honest when she had the audacity to say "I make SUCH pretty grandbabies" while most certainly giving me that *Look* Yeah I won't be taking my infant back until she figures her shit out. For those who don't know, that look was definitely intended to be a "You had nothing to do with how cute he is" look when I ya know birthed the child. Honest when she started comparing my infant to her daughter's (My husbands twin's) infant I should have noped out. I won't pit my kid in a "Whose better" competition and much less will I allow his grandma to do it. If they develop their own rivalry on things that's friendly competition but like pitting kids against each other from the start is a no. Oh to add!: Even his twin sister, who is his mom's absolute favorite child, has been pressured into losing the bit of weight she put on after her baby was born. She looks beautiful but her mom always does that low key- "Well when are you getting into shape?" type of bs. If you know the type you know
Sounds exhausting not to mention hurtful. And frustrating if it's a case of "hidden" malice like you describe with comments and looks. It's different when someone is offensive in your face. When it's subtle... Tricky to navigate 🫤 wish you well ❤
My ex-mother-in-law and didn't like me at all My husband at the time had a best friend and we had infants that were the same age only my child was my mother-in-law's grandchild we were both in our house She walked in the living room looks me dead in my eye and says let me see my grandbaby walks directly past me and her biological grandchild and picks up my husband's best friends baby completely ignoring her biological grandson for a child that was not even related and only did that to hurt me
My mother in law doesn't like me either and she reported me to cps for having postpartum depression. My mother doesn't like my husband and did the same thing to him. The case got dropped by the prosecutor. My mother in law called my husband and apologized while my mother tries to flip it back on me. Saying you are going to ruin the relationship I have with my grandkids. That I can't just cut her out of my life because the kids need her. My aunt posted my oldest on social media while i was still in the hospital. I had no idea till my mother called me and told me.
The toxic mother-in-law was the hot chick in high school who thought she knew everything because she wanted to be famous She grew into being someone’s wife and never important to anyone who was handsome until she had a son She spent the next two decades, believing that he would be her emotional connection and emotional support and he goes and leaves her for some woman. He loves that she doesn’t even know claiming he’s gonna marry her because he’s an adult now.
Sadly my in-laws died before I met them. My husband‘s aunt is his extra mom some years now. She‘s an absolute angel and is always on my side. 😂 Some years ago her own daughter died from COVID with only 28 years and we called her after the birth of our daughter this year to inform her, that she has the same name as her daughter. She was crying happy tears and came to visit 2 months later. She always asked, if she could hold her or change her. In the meantime she cooked for all of us and prepared lunch for our sons kindergarten. ❤ She is really the dream MIL everyone needs. She’s getting another grandchild Next month and she will absolutely spoil everyone.
Maybe this opinion is controversial BUTTTTTTT, if your husband can't stand up for you when his mother insults you, demean you, assaults you (vocally or physically) then MAYBE don't marry into the family. No man and I mean NO MAN is good enough for y'all to be dealing with these crazy women.
This opinion is in no way controversial! He must stand up for me, cause if not, then bye bye!
💯 This is not controversial, just excellent advice
Right?!
It's controversial to the previous generations, as they were fully indoctrinated into the idea that they are accessories for their husbands and support actors in their husbands "play of life".
But not anymore!!
We are not buying into that abuse BS!
agreed lol
Abso-freaking-lutely. I'll never be able to wrap my head around MIL's like this, sons that allow it, or women that put up with it. It's all sad, messed up and sad
My fiancé's mum told me she had a horrible MIL and let me know if I ever felt uncomfortable I can talk to her about it. She always backs me up and is so kind and respectful, I didn't realise how lucky I am.
You're lucky because most of the time such women double down and pass on the hate to their own daughters in law
I remember someone said having a mother in law who is caring and treats you with decency is a blessing 🙌 .
@@aesinamand you know what's worse it's the tradition of continuing to abuse the daughter in law, making it worse the mother in laws who continue this practise are indoctrinated into it because they too went through it..some traditions should be ✋️ .
Just because a tradition or practise is normalized does not make it right or healthy.
@@tumweonlycommentary2797It really is. My mother in law is amazing. My husband and I got married 10/31/2022 after being together for almost eight years, had two daughters and I was pregnant with my son and we were just going to go to the courthouse in Las Vegas and get married that way and she went out of her way to find me a wedding dress, and she took my husband to a jeweler to buy me a better ring (we got mine at the pawn shop which didn’t bother me at all) and she set up a little wedding in a wedding chapel for us and then took us to dinner. My own mother didn’t come to my wedding. But my MIL/FIL are the best. My mother is disabled and pretty sickly after being addicted to drugs my entire life so she doesn’t really do much she just sits at home with her cats and watches tv but my in laws always go out of their way to bring her food, and cat food and cat littler and they come and clean her house for her and keep her company and that alone means the world to me. But they’re really good people. I got lucky.
Same! I try very hard to make sure my son in law knows he's fam know and I'm going to listen to his views and be fair. My son's gay hince son in law not daughter in law
My ex husband mother hated me till I was pregnant with my daughter, she stated “ now I can have the daughter I wanted “. That statement sent me through the roof .
😨Yuck!!
I'm so sorry.
Rightfully sooo , cs what do u mean🤨
That's so freaky
Yeah that’s was so strange, still to these day she acts like my 2 daughters are hers , she treats them better then my boys .
My mother in law said "God gave me a chance to be a girl mother" because she has two sons. I was also going through postpartum depression and said I wanted to "off" myself. She said "you doing that would be my dream come true! Then she'll really be my daughter" she ALSO said that because she's not going to be here to help me with my new son he won't be "her child" because she won't raise it like she did with my daughter
Fun fact, the mom getting her grandchild's ears pierced, is illegal!!
Any lawyer worth their salt could have that shit brought up as an assault charge so damn easily!
I can’t believe someone would do that! Pressing charges is a must.
Yeah, my grandma wasn't allowed around us unsupervised until we were old enough to say 'no'. Which was a good call, considering she DID try to pressure us into getting our ears pierced, and got mad when we didn't want to. Its a weird thing grandmothers focus on, but it happens so often 😅
Do you mean it's illegal to do without parental consent? Because last I checked, getting your child's ears pierced is not illegal?
@@krexoriginalit's illegal for anyone besides the parents/legal guardians to get a baby's ears pierced.
@@krexoriginalplaces that pierce baby ears (which shouldn’t even be done due to the way the earlobes grow and their inability to consent) need parental ID and permission for the consent form….
Aka they’d be staging as the parent or guardian
My son met his girlfriend when she was pregnant. The biological father of the child wanted nothing to do with him, has never seen him. My son has been there since he was born and he is Daddy. They've since had another son together. Both boys are my grandsons and i love them both equally, just as my son does. If anyone aside from his parents decided to just up and tell the oldest that my son isn't his "real" father, I'd be livid. I don't have much time left - terminal cancer - and I'm so happy i got a "bonus" grandbaby. I love them all so much, blood related or not.
Thank you so much
❤
You're a helluva woman Jennifer. And u raised a helluva man. 🫂
I’m so incredibly sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis. Thank you for loving all your grandbabies equally. I promise they will love you forever.
Sending love from Australia 🐨
You’re a wonderful soul. You’ve done a great job. I’m so incredibly sorry about your diagnosis. I know your grand babies will look back and reflect on how wonderful you are. And everyone else you’ve graced with your presence.
Dealing with a MIL that doesn’t like you is pure hell. I have stories for days. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
Why don't you make your husband deal with her? I dated a momma's boy with a boy mom once and I said "I'm not dealing with this, you put a stop to it or I'm gone." It mostly worked.
@@whelkpeopleofdoomsome of the mothers are good at approaching when the son is not around
Why did you marry into the family knowing this. Just curious
@@faith1614Cause you fall in love with the person, not their family
If your family is being horrible towards your partner it is up to you to set boundaries with your family and if necessary cut ties with those family members if they can’t get their act together
And imo, if you’re not mature enough to tell your family off about literally bullying, harassing, and in some cases assaulting your partner, you were never ready to be married in the first place and clearly don’t understand that when you get married that person is your immediate family and should be top priority in your life, not your mommy especially for some of these men in their 30s-40s 🙄
Like, I can understand 18-20 year olds who marry right out of high school having trouble setting these boundaries because they literally just moved out their mamas place 😂 they’d still need to learn if they want to be married so young, but at the same time I also don’t personally think anyone should marry that young and that’s why majority of those marriages don’t work out or have crazy in laws to deal with💀
Dealing with that now..
She moved in because of health issues.
I feel like the less liked Mormon wife now lol
Toxic boy moms and toxic mother and laws are most definitely one in the same.
For real! They’re afraid to leave their precious ‘son’ behind 🤢
Toxic boy mom is where they start, they end at toxic mother in law lmao
@jacksonlevine9236 why did you put son in half quotes?
@@kelleygreengrass i think it’s because these women often frame their sons as more than their son in an inappropriate manor.
@@Buttonsand_Bows makes sense
3 days after my brothers funeral (he was 20 years old. Very sudden unexpected death), my mil demanded I meet her. I said no, I’m not up to it, I’m feeling really exhausted and upset after his death. Her response was “FFS haven’t you gotten over that yet?”
Wtf!!? I would’ve been like you’ve lost the privilege to met me now. Did you husband say anything to her??
Btw my condolences 💐 I lost my bro too 2 years ago 🫂
I'm so sorry. I lost my brother unexpectedly this past March (and my mom last year, also unexpectedly). We all lived together. It is so, so, so hard. ❤
That’s fucking wild, I lost my grandma and then my cousin 3 months apart, and I couldn’t properly talk to anyone and my friends never texted me In the week or two after it because I said I didn’t want to talk to anyone, the idea of someone completely ignoring that, then being an asshole over losing someone is so upsetting. I’m sorry for your loss, it can be difficult especially someone so close and young, I hope you and your family have or can heal from his passing:)
I hope you are not in contact with this awful person
I feel so bad for the girls with crazy MILs
I feel especially bad for the woman in the first video. I did not even know there was an insult for people who were SAed. That’s horrific. It’s like what I imagine a demon would insult someone with. That’s how bad this was.
It's even worse when her minions are her daughters...apparently my sil is the aunt of my children to my mil, but I am not family 😂 despite being married to her son for 14years
@@Life_Love_and_a_Lens jeez that's crazy girl
I married into a different culture than my own, and having my mother in law hate me was one of my biggest fears. Thankfully, i have an amazing mother in law. Although we've had disagreements, i still love her. It also helps that my husband speaks up when we've had disagreements.
My mother in law told me at dinner in a nice restaurant, with her son present, “a Cesarean is the only way to go. Men prefer a woman who’s had a cesarean over vaginal birth, ask any man!”. She also has said that me having my son, “I get to make up with [my son] what I lost with [her son].”. She’s also said she wants to wear him around town and tell everyone he’s hers. Most recently she’s said my baby looks nothing like me but everything like her and her family.
I often think of running away.
Tell your man to help you, she's out of line and he should support you
Do it. If you're husband hasn't stood up for you by now he never will, and you will eventually resent him. He probably can't stand up to his mom himself. And with a mom like that, I'm sure he isn't a very well adjusted person either. If you cant leave, try to severely limit contact with her you don't want that kind of toxicity in your life
Ew ew ew of your husband isn’t shutting her down run!
the long sleeved top you are wearing today is beautiful
When I was pregnant and broke up with my ex, he decided he didn’t want to have anything to do with our son but I was still trying to be respectful and considerate by letting his family be involved. I didn’t know his mom was so manipulative, sneaky, and was talking crap about me behind my back because my ex was cheating on me the whole time and she knew about it.
Long story short, she tried to make me beg her son to be in our baby’s life and when I wouldn’t, she started being extremely controlling and didn’t want me to let my baby be around my ex’s stepmom just because she didn’t like her. When I wouldn’t fall for it and decided to let my ex’s other side of his family be around our son and to cut his toxic mom off, she convinced him to fight me for custody after she got shut down for grandparents rights. Our son was only 2 months old and had only met my ex’s other side of the family and not her but because she felt entitled to our son, she got him to fight me so she could still be around our son. I made it to where she only sees our son if my ex decides to utilize his parenting time.
Some women are absolutely insane. Her other child is gay and she felt as if our son would be her only chance at using a grandchild for social media attention. Our son still barely knows her although my ex picks him up every other weekend. If it’s not a holiday for attention and pics, she doesn’t care to see him lol
That’s horrible!
I'm not a professional in the matter or anything, but her behavior sounds like that of a narcissist.
We grew my son's hair out until he was 8, however my mother-in-law was used to her other daughter and son in laws who are very passive......
She took him to a salon and had 3 in of his hair cut off and thought I wouldn't notice.
We absolutely, but semi-kindly, laid down the law of "if you ever touch my child again and change something on his body, you will not see him in real life. You will get FaceTime calls from him from 20 minutes away, but you will never lay a finger on him or kiss his cheeks until he's a teenager".
Her middle son married an outspoken, very confident woman, whose parents raised me to stand up for myself.
She's great now, truly, but it was a bit of a rocky time when I got pregnant and had the baby, up to 2 years old.
Don't get me started on my father-in-law, a fcking doctor, giving my 2-month-old raw brownie batter by the spoonfuls 🙄😑🤬🤬🤬
I had no words, I walked in the kitchen saw what was happening, picked him up didn't say a word, slammed the door on my way out and we did not see them for a solid 2 and 1/2 Weeks......
@B.Harper7 What your father in law did is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE!! The baby could have gotten very sick. 😵💫 I had to re read what you said. Feeding brownie batter to a TWO MONTH old????!?!! What the actual hell? Was he trying to make the baby sick on purpose? Like...
@@B.Harper7Good on you for immediately taking action though ❤
@@B.Harper7oooh my GOSH!
@@B.Harper7 at first I was confused and then I reread it. I'm no longer confused, that is so scary
My sister in law shared with me a bit about how my MIL conducted herself when she had her baby. She told me that she was constantly taking the baby away from her and not letting get any time with the baby and when her husband stepped in, she got furious and told him “ITS MY BABY!!!” and booooy. I’m nervous for when I have a baby now as me and my husband are trying.🙁
Your husband has to step up and shut her down if she gets disrespectful
12:16 there is a case where a grandmother applied coconut oil to her infant granddaughter’s hair before bed, AFTER being told by her mother that she is *severely* allergic to coconut. the next morning the baby was found dead due to severe allergic reaction(s).
"I hAVe BeEn a MoThER LoNgeR thAn YoU, sO i KNoW beTtEr"
@@khalastrom1067 that was pretty much grandmothers defense. Basically saying she thought her dil was being "dramatic"
15:13 My MIL came to "help out" when I got out of the hospital. Her "helping out" was to watch the baby so I "could get my house back in order" (housecleaning). And then told me I was selfish for exclusively breastfeeding and not giving her a chance to "bond" with my daughter by giving her a bottle. My daughter wasn't even a week old yet. And when we were discharged from the hospital we had to take our newborn to the closest children's hospital for an emergency heart echo. Straight from one hospital to the next, and she has the audacity to come over the next day and tell me I need to clean my house, like I'm a teenager defiantly refusing to clean my room.
Please tell me your husband spoke up and defend you at those moments? 😢
@steph.v.o.7078 the only time he defended me was when his mother physically attacked me and threatened to kill me. He shoved her away from me, but the next day told me it was my Christian duty to "turn the other cheek" and forgive her.
The only reason we aren't divorced is because I can't afford it.
@@PhoenixRising883Why does it cost money to divorce in the states? I hope you will be able to do what's best for you ❤
@@PhoenixRising883there is a way around paying the money, for a divorce. Look into it!!!! 👍. Just leave, file the papers with the court, and put a public notice in the newspaper that you want a divorce. As long as he doesn't see it (to can answer it), it will go thru automatically and won't be contested, and it won't be a long drawn out, expensive divorce. 😁🫂. YOU ARE NOT TRAPPED, AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS OR LIVE LIKE THAT! 🫂.
What in the hell 😢
My mother-in-law told me when I was pregnant and 18 that if I didn't want the baby to give it to her...
I laughed at her in her face.
Like that crazy lady lost all her kids at one point in her life to drugs and alcohol. Then she had the nerve to accuse me of cheating on her son and claimed that my child wasn't his. Luckily my kid looks nothing like me and everything like her dad. Her aunt on her father side told her mother to stop tripping.
My exes mother tried to use my son as her second chance baby because she abandoned and neglected all three of her kids due to drug and alcohol and sex addiction when they were growing up. She started calling him son and not correcting him when he’d call her mama (he did it in front of me once)
I shut that down SO fast, then went completely no contact when we found out she was still abusing drugs after lying for months and months about it.
I literally gave birth YESTERDAY and I only had baby’s dad in the delivery room with me, I cannot imagine having anyone else there when I’m at my most vulnerable!!
Congratulations ❤
16:04 THAT WAS MY FATHER IN LAW!!!!!!!! 🤬🤬😭😭😭😭😭😭
The baby had been out for a grand total of maybe half an hour when I started seeing my phone blow the hell up.
I finally took a call from my best friend and she told me to give the phone to hubby 😂🤣, told him that his dad posted pictures of the brand new baby, Me naked under a sheet holding the baby, and a photo of the three of us sleeping after the baby had been weighed and measured and handed back to me. 😳🤯😳🤯🙃
Thank God she told him to tell everybody to not mention it to me, until I was back at home, so I didn't start bawling my eyes out when I was supposed to be enjoying my brand new baby.
You have a good best friend ❤
As a single woman, it breaks my heart that so many women go through that. I'm sure there must be some crazy girl parents out there, but it looks like the woman always get the toughest time here.
i have never had a baby but if i just carried for 9-10 months, went literally almost as close to dying without actually dying and then witnessed someone else call them "their baby" i think i would be absolutely pissed bc also think of all the hormones and emotions going on like absolutely not show respect (besides the father)
Honestly no matter how many crazy MIL stories I hear they still manage to surprise me because the audacity of some of them. I can't imagine that because of what I have learned from my mom. She never really liked my sister's boyfriend (now ex) because of valid reasons but she never overstepped boundaries and never thought to get between them because she said it was my sister's relationship ( a thing meant for two). I have younger brothers and I know that when we get in relationships and while I would hope she accepts them, I know that even is she didn't, she would never do anything like this.
I was blessed with the best mother in law in the world! She has always treated me like the daughter she never had. I love her to pieces!
My hubby died at 32. We were married 5 yrs, his mom died when he was 8 so his older sister raised him. He tended to ignore when she was bullying me. In the end I didn’t want her in our house when I was there. It was just causing so many fights between my husband and I. But turned out he was going to tell her about every fight we had 🤦♀️. I didn’t even tell my mom, it’s private, married life stuff.
Just angers me that she caused so many rows and he ignored it and we ended up only getting 5yrs. Life’s too short.
After we had our son we went to stay with my parents for 2 weeks because it was the only way I was guaranteed peace.
After my parents married my mom's mother was adamant that "I will not get involved in any fights the two of you may have. Your arguments are none of my business, and I will not take sides." and she held to that.
My mom didn't really deal with a MIL because my dad's parents kicked him out when he was 15 (they were alcoholics and just... sucked). He met my mom when they were both 16, and her mother basically claimed him as another of her sons and "finished" raising him. He always called her Mom, too.
I'm so sorry that your time with your husband was cut so short and was so rocky because of your MIL. I hope you've been able to find peace.💜
I used to feel horrible with the fact that my MIL didn’t like me, but then seeing all these makes me not feel so alone! Some mothers are literally just psychotic. It’s actually a lot more common than people think but still sucks being on the receiving end of this 🙃 I’ve set boundaries and now we barely see my in laws because my MIL feels she should be able to come and go as she pleases and should be able to take my kids whenever whenever she wants. Excuse me? Yeah I’ll pass on that. I don’t need her to like me 😘
The story of the lady whose mother told her grandchild her dad wasn't her dad: 100% it was wrong on the mother to spill that kind of revelation to a kid. The parents are in the wrong to though. Why did they not tell the kid since she was of age of understand?? She's 17/18 now and STILL didn't find the "right time" to sit with her and explain? What would've happened if she decided to do an ancestry and me test?
Now instead of taking care of it early now they have to deal with the fallout of a legal adult who may not take it kindly that she's been lied to her whole life. Plus it seems the person knew their mom's character, that's even more reason to not keep skeletons that could be used as ammunition.
I was adopted, and I was raised knowing I was adopted for as long as I can remember. They made it a special thing that was my favorite story, how my mom "picked me out" special at the hospital. In reality she was pointing to my bassinet for the nurse to hold me up for her to see, but 4yo's don't understand that's not how adoption actually works. 😂
Adoption doesn't have to be a traumatic thing unless the adults AROUND the adopted kid MAKE it traumatic by doing STUPID SHIT like not telling them if their bio parents are different than their real parents (I hate the term "real" for bio parents... your real parents are the ones who loved and raised you!). In my case my parents specifically asked the social worker assigned to my case how to best handle it for me, and she told them to do exactly what they did. Tell me I was adopted, but not from who or where unless I specifically asked. I never did because I never cared. I was happy where I was.
It was such a missed opportunity for that one couple. She could have been raised being told by her daddy that he CHOSE to be her daddy because he WANTED to be her daddy because he loved her so much, and that she was his special bonus child, gift, and joy.
God I feel so bad for that poor girl.
My EX MIL invited herself into the delivery room. She also downplayed the pain i was in, to make me feel bad, after i had finally got the boy out. It had been 3 days of me in labor, with no epidural (they said he was too big and i needed to feel it to push) . By that point they could've put me in a packed football stadium and I wouldn't care. Looking back on it after I feel like she took complete advantage of my vulnerability in the most pain I've ever felt. She's done other things but that in particular feels egregious.
Holy shit that is beyond disturbing, she absolutely took advantage of the situation.
I'm so sorry, I know you know this, but you didn't deserve that at all.
I don't care if she's dealing with her own demons, or fighting the fact that *her* mother-in-law acted like that, doesn't matter, that's disgusting.
You deserve so much better.
If hubby didn't stand up for you, he fcked up too.
JUST AS much as your mother in law fcked up, truly.
Ughhhhhhhh, so many internet mama hugs to you babydoll 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋
@B.Harper7 thanks for the kind words, she is and was a m3th user, who I'm sure had a bad childhood. Ex hubby was also using but I didn't know. And he was just generally not nice to me anymore. I was deep in grief over my older sister being struck in a crosswalk and dying (ex in laws acted up at the funeral) I made a lot of poor choices and was oblivious to a lot of stuff at that time. I'm away from all of them now, thankfully. I mostly feel bad for them, some people don't make it out of their h3ll and I did. I hope they do better. U are super kind, I appreciate that 🥰
I’m convinced some people love watching others in pain it’s gross
The baby piercing, call the police sue them , do something that's gotta be child abuse
An entitled MIL is my worst nightmare 😢
Oh I have a story!!
When I gave birth to my first child, I was a bit of a B to my mom. Every time she would touch me to comfort me, I would tell her to stop. Of course she didn’t, because she was trying to “comfort me”. And then it got to a point where I scream “STOP TOUCHING ME!” She started crying and said, “Fine, I won’t be here next time”. So when my second child was born, my mom babysat my son, and I asked my EX Monster in Law to be there. HUGE mistake! She’s a CNA (basically one step above an orderly) and so of course she assumes she knows better than the doctors! When I was almost fully dilated, the nurses told me my doctor was on his way, but I needed to try to calm myself, because my doctor told them I was an important patient (we’d been through a lot. 2 miscarriages, and he delivered my first child 7 years prior) so basically they told me to hold my legs together, and wait until he was there. I didn’t have a problem with that. I wanted him to deliver my child, as much as he wanted to be the one to deliver her. But my mother in law had a different opinion. She kept opening my legs and telling me to push! The nurses were SOOOO mad! At one point they told her if she didn’t stop, they were going to have to ask her to wait outside. In hindsight, I wish they would have anyway!! The stuff I had to endure from this woman in the 18 years of having her as my Monster in Law… Would choose a stranger off the street in her place if I could. 🙄🤷🏼♀️
Well... Perspective is everything. And actually, your MIL WAS RIGHT!!!!!!! holding your legs closed waiting for your doctor, was a terrible thing for those nurses to tell you to do. Your child could've lost oxygen, and been born with cerebral palsy, or been brain damaged from the lack of oxygen. Baby also could've been born stillborn. So... Your MIL was actually trying to help you in the best way she ever could have. She ignored your sentimental feelings about the doctor, in support of your child's life, and support of the best birth possible. And I'm sorry that she ignored your feelings about it, but seriously, that was dangerous!!!! She did what was best for you and your child...and sometimes you have to ignore what somebody WANTS, to do what's best for them. So idk.. maybe your justified in not liking her, because of other reasons. ...but please cross that reason off your list. 🤷♀️🫂🫶🙏. Glad everything worked out, and the baby is ok, and you're ok. 🫂. I hope this comment changes your mind about her, in that situation. 🫂
I was letting my sons hair grow it was this beautiful strawberry blonde color w curls at the ends. My FIL took him to get his first haircut w out our permission, and didn’t save any of it. I was livid.
don't let him around your kids, see if you can press charges
dont and never will have a kid, but if a grandparent starts going "awww *my* child/daugher/son" girl get tf out the room and give the parent THEIR CHILD back
My MIL is a nightmare. She overstepped a TON of boundaries. 1)when my husband proposed. She held her diamond up to mine and compared them. 2) she took my daughter with her to her appointment TO GET HER BRAZILIAN WAX! And didn’t think she did anything wrong!! And had the audacity to ask other women because she needed “another mother’s opinion on the situation bc I made a big deal about out it” 🙄
My monster in law literally gave my son his first haircut on a day that they took him out to go see some family. Didn’t save me any of his hair and didn’t bother telling me at all and blew it off when I confronted her. That is a hate I will take beyond the grave.
The world is so chaotic rn
Right now? Read a history book. Its always BEEN so chaotic lol
Ikr also I love ur shrimps pfp!
Absolutely thanking my lucky stars for the MIL I got. I love her dearly and I wouldn't know what to do without her some days... Just before my husband proposed, my MIL told him he better not lose me because if he did she was abandoning him for me (at the time I thought she was joking, now I'm not so sure)... She also told him if we ever get divorced she's keeping me at the wedding... She was also super awesome when I had each of my children, understanding my concerns and preferences and just offering support. She has been an absolute GODSEND during my middle child's chemo... I must have really lucked out. There's not been any competition between her and my own mother, either. I'm so sorry some of you got just downright AWFUL MIL's.
I don’t mind the grandparents or aunties and uncles calling my children their babies because they all pour into them and they also love and support their mother. They’ve earned it!
i love this point of view, I never realized it meant good for some families. My mom and grandma fight constantly and part is because at one point as a baby she was making me call her my mom and my actual mom lost it
17 year old is waaaay too late to tell a child that kinda of life altering truth. It's still not her place to tell thou.
Whew... My MiL has been a nightmare but my partner, her son, is a great example of why I don't want or need her advice for my child. My partner left me at the hospital hours after I got a c section. He only came back to pick us up 🙃 His mom, dad and two aunts came to visit the next day after giving birth at the hospital. His aunt kissed my baby on my child's head. Mind you, its flu season. I was stuck in bed and could barely walk on my own at that point. My MiL actually wanted my child to call her Mommy instead of grandma or lola(filipino term for grandmother) and I was super annoyed... I am my child's mommy... Once I got home from the hospital, my MiL decided to invite a bunch of family(kids included) to spend time with my child. My child was only 8 days old and my MiL couldnt even bother to ask anyone to wash their hands or ask if they were vaccinated 😡 I refused to bring my child out to see them. I just kept telling them the baby was asleep. My child is my responsibility and I will not risk her life or well being to appease anyone. This isn't the way I want my relationship to be with my MiL nor do I want to get in the way of my child and her being close but alas, she chooses to put my child in risky situations so I have to be more careful with her around my child.
you're very good at narrating you make it seem as if what you're reading and saying out loud is your own words and story i love it it relaxes me like a storytime
9:23 that’s so normal. This makes me thankful that my in-laws respected me in the birthing room. My mom is a baby nurse and I had the baby at the hospital she works at.
Of course there was no one I wanted in the room more than her.
My ex MIL got mad at me because I wouldn’t let her plan our wedding 😅 when I basically ignored her and kept moving on she tried bringing my mother into it who then stood up for me. She often would send her son back to our shared apartment with her list of demands. At the time I went through with the wedding because they had led me to feel I was being selfish by not doing what they wanted. Age and space can really make you understand things you didn’t realize earlier.
23:12 is such a good actress. she's really reading it as if she's literally saying it off her dome like it actually happened to her
Not my birth story but my niece’s. She just had her baby in June of this year. Lulu isn’t the first grand baby on our side of the family but she is the first in her husband’s side. They decided that they were only going to have themselves in the room. She had a scheduled c-section due to the babies size, 11 lbs 3oz. Her MIL absolutely detested that idea that she wasn’t allowed at the hospital. My brother and sister in law were fine with it. They already had 6 grandkids and they knew better than to question what mom and dad said. They had me listed as her backup coach in case he couldn’t be there if he had to report for deployment. They also knew that I’d need be, I’d happily kick out anyone my niece didn’t want to be in there. They both told the in-laws, with me and my brother as witnesses and backup, that in no uncertain terms is anyone else allowed in the room. They didn’t even want them at the hospital. They wanted that time to bond with the baby first. Thankfully her husband was able to be there. But the cops had to be called because somebody didn’t listen. You want to know the irony of that is? It was her own son who responded to the call to remove her from the hospital.
Ex’s Mom also felt that I shouldn’t wait until my baby was vaccinated for visitations, demanded to have pictures first before my ex’s stepmom, etc a few days after my c-section and told my ex that it’s not that big of a deal because she had a c-section too although I had complications with mine as well. Yup, that was my experience as a first time mom. Little advice: if your man’s mom doesn’t like you and he doesn’t have a backbone, DON’T give him babies! He’ll let her do what she wants and she’ll throw it in your face that you can’t do anything about it if there’s a custody order lol judge won’t care either and see you as “petty”, “bitter” or “controlling”. Luckily, I had a decent lawyer to fight those allegations so although I can’t stop her from being around my kid, I was able to limit her time with him an extreme amount and block her from my life!
My MIL is selfish, controlling, racist, greedy, abusive, narcissistic, manipulative- the list goes on. Her grandkids (me & her son's kids) Hate her.
here's a wild birthing story-
for context, i was 8 years old when my mom was pregnant with my youngest brother. there was a 3 person limit for the delivery room. now let's begin:
when my mom went into labor, i was told i would be allowed to be in the room with her. i was SOOO EXCITED!! the other two people in the delivery room would be my dad (obvious) and my mom's mom (also obvious). my dads mom is a very narcissistic woman. when the labor began, all of us were in the delivery room while my dads mom was in the waiting room with my younger sister. dads mom was SO UPSET that I "TOOK HER SPOT" in the delivery room (it's MY SIBLING, mind you...and she is not my moms mom). I got to see my baby brother come into this world and she is STILL angry about it till this day. my brother just turned 15. we can't even bring up his birth around her because she always passive aggressively remarks that she missed out on everything because of me. she also absolutely hates my moms mom, who is the nicest human on this damn planet, because almost everyone who meets her loves her and my mom wanted her own mother to help her through the birth.
TLDR: I took my dad's mom's spot in the delivery room 15 years ago for the birth of my bro and she is STILL MAD about it
My children are MY babies. I got very territorial when my MIL did that with my youngest. My MIL tried to have her HER mother in my room as I was giving birth to my youngest was probably the icing on the cake because my family was also being assholes. My son and I were in distress. I gave birth at 6cm, if I couldn’t do it, I was being wheeled back for emergency c section. My own father told me if I lost my son, I could just have another to replace him. So my family is no better. My MIL is nothing compared to my family really and she’s learned after 10 years not to stomp my way because I won’t wait for my spouse to take care of the situation.
This is why it bothers me when people say something along the lines of “you’re marrying the man not the family” nope. You’re always marrying the family. Unless he cut all contact.
In an ideal world both the groom, the bride and all extended family members would understand that the marriage means they will be putting each other first and the family should help in the success of their marriage. But sadly that isn’t the case 😅
My dad told me this before I was married. He was 100% right. You marry the family AND the man. And the type of man you marry will influence the type of relationship you have with his family. They might be toxic AF but if he asserts his boundaries they will not be like that. I’ve lived it, both sides & I know there’s a way through. But it requires the man (or wife if it’s her family) to step UP.
My MIL turned up to the hospital with an entourage in toe (her 2 sisters, their husband's, her son, his partner and 3 nephews) so my SIL (her daughter) told everyone that isn't my husband and parents to get tf out of the room (in those exact words lol. She knew I was way uncomfortable with everyone there). Then when I went for emergency c section, got upset that she wasn't allowed in the theatre with me. She stuck around to meet my sin and refused to let my mum hold him until my SIL had to force her to give baby over. After we get discharged, she demands that we take baby to visit her (which we didn't. I wanted to go home and rest) then turned up announcing a name she had picked for him (not that she had any say over it) then proceeded to go into a tantrum because I said no! Had to ring her daughter to come over and remover her mother and tell her to stay away. After a week, we allowed visitors to come visit so she turns up with another entourage and starts demanding I get up and make dinner for everyone. This time my husband lost his 💩 and kicked her out. It was a very upsetting time as I didn't get to enjoy those first precious moments in peace
My nanna (Grandmother) would literally ask my parents for permission to get a temp tattoo which I find is the best attitude to this, making sure that there is no bad blood between parents it's probably the best attitude and it makes sure you can see them again with no tension. ALSO she stayed with my brother at HOME and looked after him while my mother and father were at the hospital, SHE WASN'T THERE for mine or my brother's birth and was completely fine with it. She only then held me when my mother went to bed after handing it to my nanna for her to hold. She's such a kind person and I'm lucky that she's still alive today ❤️
Why are so many MILs so unhinged? My mom also had very bad experiences with both her MILs, she's been married two times. I think the most unhinged thing that happened was when my dad sadly passed away when I was three years old, he committed s-word. So naturally everyone was schocked and grieving. But the first thing that his mother did was call the police on my mom who was traumatized and was now a single mother to two equally traumatized kids. She had blamed my mom of somehow causing his death because she just wanted his money or something like that. The police had to make a quick investigation on that but the cause of death was very clear. That left my moms MIL livid and she just couldn't except what happened and kept harrasing my mom and the police until they threatened her with a restraining order. "Funny" thing is that he left a bunch of letters and notes with multiple statements about his traumatizing childhood and how his parents especially his mom ruined his life and his mental health. So, yeah
This is so often true & the reaction they have. This sucks but it’s fact.
My ex was extremely abusive, and his mother never believed me. She was a lawyer, and did everything in her power to protect him. She told me she would take a baby away from me , and then wonders why we never had kids. I see my own mother make all of his girlfriends turn away . Why do moms do this ?
People really be having a lot going on in there personal life my goodness.
When my ex’s affair came to light and I was completely broken, my MIL that just “loved me sooo much” didn’t say shit to me for almost two years. Not one gd word.
You should watch the TLC show "I love A Mama's Boy" lol its CRAzy
These "mothers" treating their son's wives/partners as test tubes that grow the grandchildren is unacceptable. Is there any story of the wife's mother standing up for her daughter and facing of the MIL?
When my grandson was born I didn't have a car and still don't. My son in law went to get my daughter a good hamburger after and he picked me up on his way back. I had a bit of a cough so I wore a face mask, this was before covid and it was probably just an asthma cough but I wanted to be careful. When we got to the room my daughter dug into the hamburger and my son in
Law got the baby out and watching the two of them bind was so cute. His mom came by and her husband drove me home. It was an amazing event. My grandson has three grandmothers and we are all different and he does different things with each of him. It works out
My MIL was not sure that I was the right person long term for her son (we were young) but was still nice to me & respectful. Over years we have become close & now I feel like she's not just a mom but a friend. I love her! Men should not allow their mothers to be cruel to their wife or vice versa (I've seen both). Men & women both need to realize you are combining families and everyone needs to respect each other even if they don't like each other and if it's not possible/you won't break ties then you are not right for each other.
So my MIL is actually crazy. She’s really into numerology and decided she wanted to do a chart about me. At first I didn’t mind because I’m open to people’s spiritual beliefs.
Anyway she did this chart and then told my husband it came up in my chart that he’ll leave me for someone else, someone who can give him a child. He was beyond furious and ended up in a huge fight with her over it. All of this stems from the fact I have endo, and both me and my husband don’t want to have children. MIL however demands to be a grandparent because it’s her “right”. She quite literally even argued my own medical history with me having endo because “it didn’t come up in your chart. So are you SURE you even have it?”.
It’s actual insanity and thankfully my husband is very much excited to go no contact. I’ve heard the things she has said in regard to woman’s health and autonomy and it’s genuinely terrifying.
My grandma made the “you look like you still got another one in there” comment to my aunt hours after she gave birth to my cousin. I was 10 but I’ve never forgotten it & I wanted to disappear.
As for me, i had a scheduled C-section. I wanted to get to the hospital & just get settled in & I told my family to come about an hour before I was to go back. My mother in law showed up 20 minutes after I got checked in, wouldn’t leave the room & brought a gift..for someone else. I called my mom crying to get there asap. Then I went from check in triage to like the labor & delivery suite & again, she wouldn’t leave. She was answering for me when MY dad was asking me questions. Finally I got so overwhelmed I asked everyone to leave but I was trying to stare a subliminal code to my mom like don’t leave but she willingly guided everyone out & followed thinking it’s what I wanted. I wanted that time with my mom & I feel like it was robbed from me. yes I should have spoken up & just said mom I want you to stay though but I didn’t. I was young and hadn’t found my backbone yet. My mom died 5 weeks later.
We need so much more of this plz!
My mil tried to convince my son I was his “other mother” and she was his “real mommy”. A few months later tried to convince my husband and I to let her carry our “next” baby. I had ovarian cancer and can not carry children anymore🙃 so fun.
My FIL hates me. He’s hated me since before he met me. He’s spread rumors he made up to the whole family before I even met them. He’s spent my entire marriage trying to make himself the center of it. He’d been emotionally abusing his son all of his son’s life and he felt like his son was his property to control and therefore his son’s money should be his. That’s all he cares about is being in control. He lived in our house for two years (because he’s financially illiterate and needs someone else to foot the bill for him) and he talked about how much he “loves” his granddaughter and in the two years he lived here, he saw her twice. He also screamed at her when she opened the door to say hi to him and his wife.
Pregnant with my first, just graduated college and job searching. I went to college late in my 20s so I was 29 at the time. My husband’s job didn’t offer insurance for me so he had been paying out of pocket for mine while I finished school. We told our parents early and asked them to wait a few weeks before sharing the news. The day after we told my in laws my MIL called and said “I know you said not to tell anyone but I called my friend and told her because she’s a nurse and she said you need apply for Medicaid as soon as possible.” (1) I HAD insurance and (2) I was a 29 year old college graduate with a degree in social work. If I needed Medicaid I could have figured it out.
I ended up having emergency c-section. My MIL worked as a cleaner at the hospital. Before I was fully awake & before I seen my son, the nurses let her into the nursery & she gave him a bath and fed him & dressed him in an outfit. I should've been glad it was family who did those things for the 1st time, but I've never gotten over feeling robbed of those moments.
I hate how people think these things are favors. They’re absolutely not favors unless they are disclosed to us and we consent to them , I’m so sorry that happened to you
I agree it wasn't the MILs place to tell the child about their biological parentage, but I strongly feel kids should know sooner rather than later. It can really upend your world if you find something like that out in your teens.
On the birth thing, I didn't think about it until my friend pointed it out, that I won't get to be there for special moments with the baby because I had a boy, and the women would want her mum not me. It did make me a little bit sad, but I don't think I would need to litteraly see them bieng born anyway 😅. But wow some of these women have no boundaries at all, feel sorry for the daughter in laws !
10:15 i strive to be able to stand up for myself this way
That sweater looks lovely on you.
Piercing a baby's ears can go so so left. Infection, permanent damage such as scarring, can even lead to trauma and fear of needles. Its always better to wait until the child is old enough to consent to getting their ears pierced. Also theyll actually remember it and itll be more special for them, and please please please for the love of all things good and great DONT TAKE THEM TO CLAIRES. GO TO A REPUTABLE TATTOO/PIERCING SHOP THAT ALLOWS CHILDREN PIERCINGS PLEASE.
For me it's a little different, my mother in law is from Mexico and barley speaks English so it makes it difficult to communicate with her. But there was no miscommunication when she straight up told me that my son (who was an infant at the time) was her baby, and she wanted to keep him. Like no he's Not your baby, I gave birth to him not you. I felt bad for putting her in her place, because everyone in the family looked at me like I was insane. They don't understand boundaries so I had to make sure they understood mine. My child is mine your the grandma not his mother. I'm the one that's up with him when he's sick. I'm the one teaching him to be a decent human not you. You had your chance with your kids. Bottom line grandmothers/ mother in laws need to back off, once your kid gets married that's it your no longer number one. Your at the bottom of the list sorry sweetie. Edit: unfortunately she was in the room when I gave birth. My mom passed away when I was 15, so all I've had was my dad. I wanted him in the room because I wanted to feel comfortable. But he insisted I let my mother in law stay in the room. All she did was stress me out the whole time with her stupid pacing back and forth. I told my husband to make her sit down and shut up. Well she listened to half of the instructions she sat down right next to me. Acting like she's by birthing coach and started screeching when he started crowning. I shot a look at my husband, and he took action. He told her if she couldn't control herself she'd have to wait in the hall like everyone else. I think that was the moment she started hating me, but honestly IDC she was insufferable and I couldn't take it anymore
I struggle with this, and can relate SO MUCH! I feel like I'm in a worse position, considering I had the first grand baby on my husbands side. All I heard my entire pregnancy was "How's my baby doing?" They always think they know what to do, or how to care for YOUR baby. It seriously pisses me off.
This video makes me extremely grateful for the mother in law I have and the one I had before her. I kept the in laws in my divorce. They’re still part of my family. My husband has helped my former mother in law. My current mother in law and I have had a wonderful relationship. I’ve been blessed with extended family.
That last story hit close to home for me. My daughter is eight. When she was one, my mother in law took her son and me to court for visitation of our daughter because I would not let her take my child alone....My child was never away from me. She didn't stay with anyone until she was five and even then, it's my sister that she stays with (because I can trust my sister... unlike either grandma, my ex's mom or mine). She didn't even know my child and had maybe seen her three times in her life. So she took us to court while I was taking care of my dying grandpa (the only "dad" I ever had) and we had our last court date nine months later, the day after my grandfather passed away, where she lost in court and tried to hug me and tell me she was sorry about my grandpa. I walked out without a word.
She has still never kept my daughter.
My brother told me never get involved with a man who loves his mother so much that he allows the mother to abuse you. It wont end well.
Linda Thanks for the initial message. I sometimes watch these with my kids. ❤
I'm so thankful for my in-laws, they've been a second set of parents to me, and helped raise our kid. Sometimes I feel guilty about sending our child
to them during school vacations, then they tell me the lists of things they've been planning to do with him for weeks because they missed him so much. I'm truly blessed, tbh when I'm mad at my hubs, I think of them😂.
14:32 i think we can all tell how kind hearted you are. This made me tear up my heart goes out to those women.
My sister's MIL bought the exact same color dress as the mother of the bride (our mom) and then stood outside for 7 hours in the rain until my sister apologized for telling her to get another dress.
Bonus: She sobbed loudly the ENTIRE ceremony.... my sister's married 29 years but boundaries were made and thankfully her husband enforced them.
I have ended a relationship because of my boyfriends mother.. I'm not fighting a mother for her own adult son.
The fact of some grandparents (and sometimes parents too) just pierce babies ears, like literal babies under three years old, is ridiculous. Why is that allowed. I think in my country we have laws against that. I got my ears pierced at ago 4 or 5 because I asked for it and I was brave enough to not cry. But I can't even imagine babies going through the pain and all. At 4/5 I was at least old enough to understand the basic care I needed to take for my new piercings
my grandma is the toxic mother in law, my uncle have been married with his beloved wife for 1 year. He love her dearly he take cares of her and let her use her money whatever she wants because he use his money to pay the neccesity, my aunt's makeup dan skincare. Anyway my grandma is bitter about this eventhough she got the SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY AND ATTENTION. Her behavior and what he had talked about my aunt is beyond disgusting. I'm so sick and tired hearing her talk bad things about my aunt while I already have told her to change and be better again and again
Got married and had my daughter 2021. We had zero guests at our wedding/elopement and my mom was at the hospital, but no other family was allowed because of Covid and I thought it was great.
My BIL recently introduced his girlfriend to his mum. The first thing my MIL says to her after a 10 second pause is "you'll do". 🤦♀️
Man, im so grateful for my nice and wholesome MIL 😅
The pre buying of a sympathy card comment shook me. That’s pure evil.
If you try to file for custody of my children, you’re never gonna see them or me again. That is the end of any possible relationship.
As much as my MIL disliked me, she sat with me almost the entire 28 hours of labor with my first child. Not my ex husband, not my own mother, but the woman who said to my face she hated me.
Being the child of this situation makes me angry with my dad's mom
Great video! Please do a video regarding toxic fathers in law.💯
😅 I can barely handle my own mother let alone someone else's. My advice is if you do not let complete strangers speak to or treat you like that, then you shouldn't let "family relations" speak to or treat you like that. Respect is earned. And yes this is coming from someone who grew up in a culture where children are not seen nor heard and women are seen but not heard. But I was raised in America with Western ideologies so sucks for them when they have to deal with my attitude 😂
I WILL SAY, that I do have great sympathy for these women who had this exact thing happened to them, and now they are in the grandmother position, so they think it's just natural.
Anyone trying to deviate from that, is "the disrespectful daughter-in-law who doesn't care or respect her ideas/parenting" 🤔🙄
Doesn't make it okay in the slightest, but I at least see where the chaos came from, BUT instead of going to therapy for the abuse shoved on to them, they think it is their turn to hoist it on another woman.
LETS GO NEW VIDEO 💙💙💙
20:32 They were so wrong for waiting so long to tell that child about her own family history
My husbands mom kept making comments, those of you who know- know, just a bit of a way to disregard me here or there, would literally like shrug off my conversation attempts and give me low key dirty looks. I grew up in an environment like that and truly hate it- being unsure if people who are supposedly family are being nice or insulting me. But honest when she had the audacity to say "I make SUCH pretty grandbabies" while most certainly giving me that *Look* Yeah I won't be taking my infant back until she figures her shit out. For those who don't know, that look was definitely intended to be a "You had nothing to do with how cute he is" look when I ya know birthed the child.
Honest when she started comparing my infant to her daughter's (My husbands twin's) infant I should have noped out. I won't pit my kid in a "Whose better" competition and much less will I allow his grandma to do it. If they develop their own rivalry on things that's friendly competition but like pitting kids against each other from the start is a no.
Oh to add!: Even his twin sister, who is his mom's absolute favorite child, has been pressured into losing the bit of weight she put on after her baby was born. She looks beautiful but her mom always does that low key- "Well when are you getting into shape?" type of bs. If you know the type you know
Sounds exhausting not to mention hurtful. And frustrating if it's a case of "hidden" malice like you describe with comments and looks. It's different when someone is offensive in your face. When it's subtle... Tricky to navigate 🫤 wish you well ❤
My ex-mother-in-law and didn't like me at all My husband at the time had a best friend and we had infants that were the same age only my child was my mother-in-law's grandchild we were both in our house She walked in the living room looks me dead in my eye and says let me see my grandbaby walks directly past me and her biological grandchild and picks up my husband's best friends baby completely ignoring her biological grandson for a child that was not even related and only did that to hurt me
I think she was telling you something…. Been there. Not pretty.
My mother in law doesn't like me either and she reported me to cps for having postpartum depression. My mother doesn't like my husband and did the same thing to him. The case got dropped by the prosecutor. My mother in law called my husband and apologized while my mother tries to flip it back on me. Saying you are going to ruin the relationship I have with my grandkids. That I can't just cut her out of my life because the kids need her. My aunt posted my oldest on social media while i was still in the hospital. I had no idea till my mother called me and told me.
The toxic mother-in-law was the hot chick in high school who thought she knew everything because she wanted to be famous
She grew into being someone’s wife and never important to anyone who was handsome until she had a son
She spent the next two decades, believing that he would be her emotional connection and emotional support and he goes and leaves her for some woman. He loves that she doesn’t even know claiming he’s gonna marry her because he’s an adult now.
Sadly my in-laws died before I met them. My husband‘s aunt is his extra mom some years now. She‘s an absolute angel and is always on my side. 😂 Some years ago her own daughter died from COVID with only 28 years and we called her after the birth of our daughter this year to inform her, that she has the same name as her daughter. She was crying happy tears and came to visit 2 months later. She always asked, if she could hold her or change her. In the meantime she cooked for all of us and prepared lunch for our sons kindergarten. ❤ She is really the dream MIL everyone needs. She’s getting another grandchild Next month and she will absolutely spoil everyone.