The "comic" in some situation is absolutely brilliant. They are talking on two separate levels. Ray, who seems complete indifferent to violence. For him its just another option to deal with problems. And for others it's something like a tabu, only a last resort.
Which is why society has grown so weak. We have been told from childhood that violence doesn't solve anything, when in actuality it solves most things. The people responsible for brainwashing us into thinking it don't believe it, which is why they made sure they have a monopoly on it. If Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos told you money doesn't buy you anything, would you believe them?
violence is the last refuge of the incompetent and often leads to a an endless cycle of revenge and misery, those who disagree are usually utilized in wars @@echolalia682
@@echolalia682it only solves things of you’re the one being violent, or you’re the biggest or meanest, or in the biggest gang. If you love the idea of such a society then there’s are plenty of places you can go; Somalia, the favelas of Rio, all lovely places
It's interesting to see two people misunderstand what the other person needs. He needs her to understand that he made an informed, logical decision that was grounded in her welfare. She needed him to show some level of humanity/discomfort in hurting people as badly as he did. That's why it's not resolved and why she's still so uncomfortable. It's not just that it was violent it's because that level of violence didn't evoke any emotional response from Ray at all.
Hey, someone interested in good communication who understood the scene, instead of just making weird, incel-adjacent commentary about how men and women think! An absolute wonder in this comment section.
Exactly so. Had he said something like, "I really didn't want to do that. It makes me sick. But -" and then explained as he did, and added, "but I really hated that," it would have been very different.
He didn't feel that way because he doesn't feel. He has a lack of empathy and has no hesitation in using violence. He's a boderline sociopath. It's a popular character in fiction, like Amos in Expanse, or Reacher in the Reacher stories.
Yeah I agree with you, but as far as I remember she used to have violent boyfriends before, that is why she is getting "extra" triggered, if I am not mistaken.
The way the scene works on multiple levels. How he's trying to live two completely separate lives; how the lines are starting to blur. All the anger management stuff is great. I really feel for him when he loses this relationship.
Especially knowing it's his fault, and he can't shift the blame. You hope they get back together in a few episodes, but just like in real life, it doesn't work that way.
It hadnt even crossed his mind that the fight was what she wanted to talk about. LOL . Beating people up is like turning on the TV or closing a drawer to Ray. LOL
Except he does his best to keep his kid from seeing anything. A real partner is going to have your back. If a mother thinks that just cause she has a man, she'll never need to protect her children, she is a fool. She's supposed to be the very Last line of defense, not cowering with the children like a child!
@@DevotedDisciple-xyeah of course if you have no choice, but what what mean is, even if it's necessary, we need to hide it from them as much as possible.
If you care about someone who doesn't want violence in their lives if it can be avoided, then yeah, it's a tough line to manage if you are indifferent to violence and easily resort to it.
when he's with his daughter, he usually completely avoids violence. It's interesting how this is very different, he didn't de-escalate at all the way he did when his girl is there.
Children should never witness their parents being violent. However, a real partner is going to have your back. If a mother thinks that just cause she has a man she'll never need to protect her children, she is a fool. She's supposed to be the very Last line of defense, not cowering with the children like a child!
That's for two reasons. First up, he has a sense of duty towards his daughter of protecting her from violence - including her even seeing violence. There's a big "protecting the innocent" thing with him. It's like Omar in The Wire, "I ain't never put my gun on no-one who wasn't in The Game." Secondly, he wants legal access to his daughter. And if he starts hooking into people with his daughter watching, she'll go home, tell mum, and the court will stop him seeing his daughter. It's calculated with him, because he's a borderline sociopath.
@viperrecords3288 If I get into a punch up, I will be injured, die, or end up in hospital. So I avoid physical fights. Have a good day Squire. Cheers Gray
From a tactical point of view he did absolutely nothing wrong. And he has the experience to back it up. He knows aggressive people when he sees them and he knows it's better to end such a conflict quickly rather than letting it escalate and possibly cost more in the end. But from a societal modern point of view he was the aggressor, because he sees and knows things most don't wanna know. They just see violence and someone who seems to use it to solve all his problems. Which isn't the case for Ray, mind you, he's pretty good at separating his two lives. But try to convince the rest of the world of that without telling anyone where you got all that experience from. ^^
This is a great scene. Well directed and acted. The contrast between his calm demeanor and the dialog builds tension. Is the calm thing an act? Or was the rage performative? It’s hard to reconcile the calm dude with the violent dude. Life is like that. A good scene draws you in and doesn’t answer questions. You leave the scene with questions! This is great film making. The coverage, the editing, sound. Brilliant.
He's 100% correct and he can see a violent confrontation a mile away. She has a history of abuse by a violent man, so any display of violence is triggering to her. Perhaps his darkness is what attracted her to him in the first place, but she realizes that oh no, he's another violent man. She doesn't know he'd never lay a finger on her, all of his greatness is overshadowed by her fears. The point here is that Ray lives and act a certain lifestyle that comes with the territory that doesn't leave a lot of room for a peaceful life. I'm going to make a pitiful attempt at avoiding spoilers by only saying that he recognizes that and makes changes.
He can see a violent confrontation a mile away because he knows how he's going to act* FTFY A normal person could diffuse that situation fairly easily, but Ray isn't going to stand down so he know it's going to escalate.
@@HRRRRRDRRRRR can't tell if you've found it possible to disagree, because I'm saying the same thing - violence is easy to Ray, too easy, that's the whole point of the show. He totally kills an innocent man, don't forget, and then kills his old pal for money. It's just business. He only kills Rafael in self defense, not because Rafael killed those two randoms on a highway, not even as vendetta for killing Zoe or Dave. Ray is a murderer. He's not a good guy. He's a bad guy we're rooting for because he has a ton of relatable and redeemable qualities.
Your right, they are talking on two different levels. But to get a bit deeper - violence isn't, "just another option". Ray is always living/moving in the color zones of awareness.... white-yellow-orange-red (white being safe and red being very dangerous). It's literally how he lives and survives in his world because he is a predator - it has become a totally natural way of living for him. Which is completely the opposite of most people who are just sheep and completely unaware of their surroundings which is the white zone because they don't (normally) ever have to be worried for their safety - and when they should be worried (yellow-orange) they don't have a clue. So it's completely natural for Ray to always be in a tactical evaluation mode when out moving through society. So, his response to her question is so natural to him - he analyzed the threat and formulated a plan of action (violence) that was successful for both him and her. But because she is so unaware of her surroundings (a sheep) while he is a predator (wolf) - they cannot communicate nor relate to one another when it comes to this situation - which is why this scene is so good
@@JohnSmith-fz1ih...wasn't anything "awesome" about it, you either have that mindset or you don't. I wouldn't claim to be a badass, just decisive and not hindered by empathy or hesitation. I was a boxer until convinced that my future was elsewhere but I can see by body language if your intentions warrant a quick response. The best way to win a fight is to be the first to realize that fact.
@@Tacti_cat Coward is a slur used by keyboard bullies who have limited experience in self defense. I would describe myself as lucky, I was once able to get away with taking a knife to a gun fight. Fortunately he was an inexperienced young man and neither of us had to go to the hospital. I was NOT stating anything other than my experience, if I don't add up in your mind you can understand the indifference I hold of your opinions...
There is a weird aspect in life between violence and the understanding between men and women. I’ve been in situations that required a violent measure to dissipate the situation further. I’m actually a guy who will do anything to avoid it but I’m middle aged and have , even with all that considered, had to get violent a couple of times. Has never felt good but was necessary. My wife has never been in any fight ever. Never been bullied or punched. Our view of any violent situation is always going to be different. She always perceives a better way. I know that’s rarely the case with men. It’s hard being human.
Completely the opposite. Anger and violence is emotional. Talking it out is calm and compromise is logical. The most disturbing insight his answer provides into his thinking is that he can't envision an outcome without violence. He assumed that if he didn't inflict violence first, they'd inflict violence on him. He assumes the worst outcome, the worst in people. Furthermore, he may not even believe his own answer. It's very likely his way to rationalize violence. People who are habitually violent or explosively angry get off on it. It's a rush for them. We've all known people with anger issues (and some have unfortunately known violent types), and they're triggered by fairly minor things that the overwhelming majority of people can handle calmly or brush off / mostly ignore altogether. Like someone momentarily blocking your car. She represents the societal norm. He didn't really consider her suggestion that he could've talked to them, he just blew right past it with his justification. He won't or can't truly consider the norm. He's broken; his reaction to problems is anger and violence by default. She sees that in his justification of his violence.
I dont think the point is to argue whether or not Ray was right to do what he did. I think the point is to highlight how much of an outsider Ray is to ordinary people. His logic and reasoning for doing what he did is sound, but to see someone actually do something like that is shocking to ordinary people.
Both people here have completely valid perspectives. Unfortunately for ray that the relationship didnt work out, but like he understands, thats life. She saw herself reliving her situation of being a victim of DA and chose to not to put herself in those situations by preemptively ending relationships where she thinks it could be the same. Thats her way off defending herself due to a past trauma. Ray has a vastly different way on how to deal with those situations given his own childhood trauma. Rays method while ultraviolent to some, is his own way of responding to aggressive rapidly escalating situations which prioritizes himself, friends, and family over strangers. I dont agree with his method of valuing money over life, but i cant disagree with the intent behind some of his actions.
Uninjured woman on the couch: "You were extremely violent! You could have just talked to them." Injured woman in hospital: "Why didn't you do something?! They weren't listening."
If he had "tried to talk"....and be a peaceful little boyscout, she'd be giving him a talk about how he needs to "be more of a man" and "stand up" and "take action". Women are never satisfied, no matter how men react to a situation.
So long as you can stay the line in defense of one's mind, and never let violence cross to the family, it makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, that is never the case, which is why she is damaged to begin with.
You know I started out thinking I was gonna hate this show since I'm not usually a fan other foreign comedies, but by the end I was thoroughly. It's very repetitive at times, but in a way that makes sense for the character.
Crazy how this show makes you equally side with his logic but also see the destructiveness of his actions both at the same time. The other example is with his kid and the icecream. You definitely sided with him getting retribution, but then we he is later explaining it to the social worker, it seems so stupid in logic.
He had to pick between two evils a saint by many standards a satin upon others very few people understands the dangers of the world and why he was justified
This HAS to be one of the best shows I haven't watched yet. Although, I watched one clip a week ago and now the YT algorithm has me in it's sights and will not relent with one out of three videos containing 'Mr. In Between' content. This AI shit has to go.
You have to. As an Aussie I'm a little biased, but many others agree. it is so well acted and scripted. Amazing balance between brutal violence, comedy and absolute heart.
What, you mean having a chat, listening, considering the concerns and acting like a mature adult if possible? Yeah, that's rough, isn't it? lol Sucks to be a big tough guy around people who don't solve all their problems with blunt force trauma, doesn't it?
I don't think it has anything to do with sex. His entire mindset is based on the underlying belief that the confrontation will turn violent and thus he is justified in striking first before he is numerically at a disadvantage. Her problem is that this assumption is one that a violent person would make. His decision making is correct, if and only if, you assume violent confrontation was inevitable. Many people who utilize violence in a profession make poor decisions using exactly the thinking he did. This is particularly prevalent with police officers and other professions that demand compliance. He's a hit man, before that he was in the army, he openly sees violence as a means to solve problems and also openly believes in bullying bullies. He will always be capable of justifying his violence. Neither of them are wrong per se, they are simply looking at the situation from different lenses, and those lenses have little to do with their sex and everything to do with how much they see violence as an acceptable measure in this situation. There are plenty of women who would cheer his solution here.
@@Tyrantofthewind what a fucking liar, it is absolutely gendered, everyone knows it, and its baffling that we have to act like women have the same reaction of flight or fight.
@@itsjustaname777 ohh, you're right, we should have considered the assault of pushing someone through a door differently to other assaults, for some reason
People who are fortunate enough to not grow up in or around violence just can’t ever understand it and/or how it changes the brains of those who are “less fortunate”. We never got out of fight or flight mode, we’re underdeveloped and it’s beyond cognitive; that’s why therapists can’t help us, it’s not emotional, we can’t be rehabilitated, our brains were retarded through trauma, its primal genetic expression. It’s not a twist of Cain problem like anger or rage. It’s a sons and daughters of Cain, and cities of Cain epidemic and the realization (if you’re “lucky” to survive to that level of court appointed enlightenment) that you don’t even know what good is, it never knew you; but you do know that if you had it, you couldn’t hold it, because you don’t even want it. A house is not a home. A neighborhood can have pocket fences, or it can have barbed wire or it can have steel bars. Cribs are for infants. Hoods are for robbers. Without love, it’s hate thy neighbor as thyself. Lord have mercy on us. We are the problem children only you can raise, the Father we need. If you’re willing, 🙏 work a miracle in us for your glory, there’s a lot of other crooked sons out there in need of your touch. ☮️
@@mostralik Bro look at this comment section. All these guys definitely think Walter White and Don Draper are uncomplicated heroes. They probably see Tyler Durden as an aspirational figure. They’re fuckin’ morons, basically.
Women, they rarely think tactically or strategically unless it's their profession. Even helpful violence appears shocking. A wolf comes to the farm to eat sheep. The hound mangles the wolf and it runs off. Sheep now rebuke the hound because it resembles a wolf and used violence. It always makes the hound shake it head in confusion. A wolf uses violence for gain. A hound uses violence as a compliance tool. 'Submit to my will, or feel pain.'
She wants him to protect her, but gets scared when he shows no hesitation in dealing with the situation. So...do you want your man to protect you, or do you want to try and de-escalate the situation? 😂😂
While I understand that to him the incident was justified, ray in his case doesn’t always have control over how far he can take retaliation, with him being so experienced in combat so what can start off as a petty dispute, Ray can easily turn into multiple severe injuries, the whole point of Rays relationship with anger and violence is that it is what is preventing him from properly maintaining his life as a hit man and as a member of society simultaneously. A protector does not always have to resort to the offensive, restraint and composure can be powerful tools in a dispute.
de-escalating a conflict is the best way to defend your family. That is the most important part of self defense. The violence avoided is the risk of injury avoided.
@@_TheDudeAbides_ It is interesting how you feel most like the character, who is a naive and gullible victim. Your imaginary girlfriend must feel really safe and proud around you.
@@jameshw9751 The only type of "man" who calls a Man "misogynist", is the kind of guy who sits in a corner chair, holding a warm moist towel, while Django finishes with his wife. Congratulations!
Her decision is logical beyond your understanding. Being in a relationship with a violent person is high risk. You just don't know about it so you imagine the violent psychopath in this show is sensible.
@@_TheDudeAbides_Well it has been proven in psychology than women are looking for a "dangerous " man. That doesn't mean violent with her or her children, but a man "capable" of being dangerous, and she want to help him to control that as much as possible. That's why you see a lot of beautiful women with "dickh*ad/bad boy" rather than a "nice guy". The first one is way more similar to a "dangerous man" than the 2nd. It also show how dumb our brain is for sure, since it's clearly not the same thing at all. Anyway, the problem here is she saw ray in action, and also, she was with a coward man before who was hurting her physicaly. The brain doesn't make the difference, he can't, even if she know ray will never hit her like his ex.
This whole plotline really bugged me. Women get incredibly turned on by men acting crazy. I know people like to pretend otherwise but it's been shown time and time again women actively seek men willing to throw down.
@testtube173 oh okay. Frankly, as a female, I don't like violence, but I do believe sticking up for oneself. I never throw the first punch, and I defend the people who aren't able to, even men. You be surprised how many men out there hit women in public. As I am now getting older, I use my loud and foul mouth to save the day. My acting skills seem to scare people off. Women are more violent than men in public. They seem to think they wouldn't get hit and think they should be abusive. Like I said, I don't start fights, but men seem to find me an easy target and think I am easy if I say something to them nicely to leave the person they are bullying alone. I hope I didn't confuse you lol
I have a couple of mates that were decent in a fight, both of them have told me at different times, don’t wait always get the first punch in, that’s the punch that counts, happy to say those days are behind us
![Every Death/Kill in Mr Inbetween (Season 1-3) [2018-2021]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9_ECZrPafAU/mqdefault.jpg)
![Every Death/Kill in Mr Inbetween (Season 1-3) [2018-2021]](/img/tr.png)
You dont want to be on the ground having the life stomped out of you, thinking: "I wish i had taken this altercation more seriously."
Law would say, "You should have turned your back to these two trouble makers and exited the situation promptly".
@@rainwalker3515 Im a fast runner- and have run many times from problems- but sometimes you are with someone you have to defend who cant run.
@@rainwalker3515 Sometimes the law and what's right are different things.
If you were alone thats fine. But not with a loved one around.
Or even worse, laying there getting stomped and thinking, why did I listen to her and try to talk this out?😊
The "comic" in some situation is absolutely brilliant. They are talking on two separate levels. Ray, who seems complete indifferent to violence. For him its just another option to deal with problems. And for others it's something like a tabu, only a last resort.
Which is why society has grown so weak. We have been told from childhood that violence doesn't solve anything, when in actuality it solves most things. The people responsible for brainwashing us into thinking it don't believe it, which is why they made sure they have a monopoly on it. If Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos told you money doesn't buy you anything, would you believe them?
They are teaching kids that it is not ok to defend yourself physically in schools, we are so fucked.
@@gunman462 They are talking little boys into...you know. Their agenda is as clear as the nose on my face, but few can see it.
violence is the last refuge of the incompetent and often leads to a an endless cycle of revenge and misery, those who disagree are usually utilized in wars @@echolalia682
@@echolalia682it only solves things of you’re the one being violent, or you’re the biggest or meanest, or in the biggest gang. If you love the idea of such a society then there’s are plenty of places you can go; Somalia, the favelas of Rio, all lovely places
It's interesting to see two people misunderstand what the other person needs. He needs her to understand that he made an informed, logical decision that was grounded in her welfare. She needed him to show some level of humanity/discomfort in hurting people as badly as he did. That's why it's not resolved and why she's still so uncomfortable. It's not just that it was violent it's because that level of violence didn't evoke any emotional response from Ray at all.
Hey, someone interested in good communication who understood the scene, instead of just making weird, incel-adjacent commentary about how men and women think! An absolute wonder in this comment section.
Exactly so. Had he said something like, "I really didn't want to do that. It makes me sick. But -" and then explained as he did, and added, "but I really hated that," it would have been very different.
The problem is he didn't feel that way and doesn't want to lie. Its an admirable and semi stubborn trait. @@greenwithagun
He didn't feel that way because he doesn't feel. He has a lack of empathy and has no hesitation in using violence. He's a boderline sociopath. It's a popular character in fiction, like Amos in Expanse, or Reacher in the Reacher stories.
The main problem is that she is just naive in this situation.
This show is perfect at depicting situations from both sides. He is objectively right in his mind but in her eyes it was too violent. Yet she is safe
Yeah I agree with you, but as far as I remember she used to have violent boyfriends before, that is why she is getting "extra" triggered, if I am not mistaken.
@@Gmunder83her ex was violent towards her, she mistakenly thinks that anyone who is violent will eventually hurt her.
Everyone has within them to be violent thought.
That's why I always hated that women's past trauma determines the way they think everyone will act
She also would have been safe if he'd never got into the fight at all.
Some people can imagine themselves being a victim far more easily than being violent enough to fend off an attacker.
Good tactical decision making.
The way the scene works on multiple levels. How he's trying to live two completely separate lives; how the lines are starting to blur. All the anger management stuff is great. I really feel for him when he loses this relationship.
Especially knowing it's his fault, and he can't shift the blame. You hope they get back together in a few episodes, but just like in real life, it doesn't work that way.
It hadnt even crossed his mind that the fight was what she wanted to talk about. LOL . Beating people up is like turning on the TV or closing a drawer to Ray. LOL
this show is brilliant
Poor guy was damned if he does and damned if he don't.
Women
@@dartanion0075 Can't live with 'em... can't live with 'em.
@@domainmojo2162lmao
Some of the best tv ever.
The violence impacts the family if they have to witness it or feel the repercussions of it as well. Tough line to manage.
Except he does his best to keep his kid from seeing anything. A real partner is going to have your back. If a mother thinks that just cause she has a man, she'll never need to protect her children, she is a fool. She's supposed to be the very Last line of defense, not cowering with the children like a child!
I'd rather they witness me hurting someone then witness someone ending me.
@@DevotedDisciple-xexactly.
@@DevotedDisciple-xyeah of course if you have no choice, but what what mean is, even if it's necessary, we need to hide it from them as much as possible.
If you care about someone who doesn't want violence in their lives if it can be avoided, then yeah, it's a tough line to manage if you are indifferent to violence and easily resort to it.
You know damn well his answer was light years from satisfactory.
when he's with his daughter, he usually completely avoids violence. It's interesting how this is very different, he didn't de-escalate at all the way he did when his girl is there.
Children should never witness their parents being violent. However, a real partner is going to have your back. If a mother thinks that just cause she has a man she'll never need to protect her children, she is a fool. She's supposed to be the very Last line of defense, not cowering with the children like a child!
@@TheKeefeStoneWell said
That's for two reasons. First up, he has a sense of duty towards his daughter of protecting her from violence - including her even seeing violence. There's a big "protecting the innocent" thing with him. It's like Omar in The Wire, "I ain't never put my gun on no-one who wasn't in The Game."
Secondly, he wants legal access to his daughter. And if he starts hooking into people with his daughter watching, she'll go home, tell mum, and the court will stop him seeing his daughter. It's calculated with him, because he's a borderline sociopath.
Such calculation, lovely!
If you are good with fists, that's one way.
I'm not good in a punch up so I have to find a different solution.
I agree, you look like a victim.
@jdamommio
My experience is different.
I avoid physical confrontation.
@@grahammewburn Stay in your bed?
@@grahammewburnUnfortunately sometimes it’s unavoidable
@viperrecords3288
If I get into a punch up, I will be injured, die, or end up in hospital.
So I avoid physical fights.
Have a good day Squire.
Cheers Gray
He makes a lot of sense
She was more concerned about his willingness to go to violence so quickly despite it being correct in this scenario
It has been a while since I watched the show, but I think she has abuse in her history so violent displays unsettle her.
Yeah, her ex husband or boyfriend used to beat her.
well said
@@ah9580in real life she does 😢
It'd unsettle most men, and almost all women. We live in what is an overall very safe and peaceful world in the West.
@@greenwithagunthat’s adorable.
From a tactical point of view he did absolutely nothing wrong. And he has the experience to back it up. He knows aggressive people when he sees them and he knows it's better to end such a conflict quickly rather than letting it escalate and possibly cost more in the end.
But from a societal modern point of view he was the aggressor, because he sees and knows things most don't wanna know. They just see violence and someone who seems to use it to solve all his problems. Which isn't the case for Ray, mind you, he's pretty good at separating his two lives. But try to convince the rest of the world of that without telling anyone where you got all that experience from. ^^
This is a great scene. Well directed and acted. The contrast between his calm demeanor and the dialog builds tension. Is the calm thing an act? Or was the rage performative? It’s hard to reconcile the calm dude with the violent dude.
Life is like that. A good scene draws you in and doesn’t answer questions. You leave the scene with questions! This is great film making. The coverage, the editing, sound. Brilliant.
He's 100% correct and he can see a violent confrontation a mile away. She has a history of abuse by a violent man, so any display of violence is triggering to her. Perhaps his darkness is what attracted her to him in the first place, but she realizes that oh no, he's another violent man. She doesn't know he'd never lay a finger on her, all of his greatness is overshadowed by her fears. The point here is that Ray lives and act a certain lifestyle that comes with the territory that doesn't leave a lot of room for a peaceful life. I'm going to make a pitiful attempt at avoiding spoilers by only saying that he recognizes that and makes changes.
Agree. Her fear was working against her. Aside from the consensual slap on the butt. Ray never would have beaten her.
Exactly.
He can see a violent confrontation a mile away because he knows how he's going to act* FTFY
A normal person could diffuse that situation fairly easily, but Ray isn't going to stand down so he know it's going to escalate.
@@HRRRRRDRRRRR can't tell if you've found it possible to disagree, because I'm saying the same thing - violence is easy to Ray, too easy, that's the whole point of the show. He totally kills an innocent man, don't forget, and then kills his old pal for money. It's just business. He only kills Rafael in self defense, not because Rafael killed those two randoms on a highway, not even as vendetta for killing Zoe or Dave. Ray is a murderer. He's not a good guy. He's a bad guy we're rooting for because he has a ton of relatable and redeemable qualities.
@@TheElMuffin You literally started your comment with "he's 100% correct".
He's not, he just forces the situation to be that way.
Really great scene. Is he a complete psychopath giving her an explanation she can somewhat accept, or is he sincere? She's not sure, and neither am I.
Perfect summary
His decision making and assessment of tactical options is sound. Very much like the model used by armed police in the UK. The National Decision Model.
Your right, they are talking on two different levels. But to get a bit deeper - violence isn't, "just another option". Ray is always living/moving in the color zones of awareness.... white-yellow-orange-red (white being safe and red being very dangerous). It's literally how he lives and survives in his world because he is a predator - it has become a totally natural way of living for him. Which is completely the opposite of most people who are just sheep and completely unaware of their surroundings which is the white zone because they don't (normally) ever have to be worried for their safety - and when they should be worried (yellow-orange) they don't have a clue. So it's completely natural for Ray to always be in a tactical evaluation mode when out moving through society. So, his response to her question is so natural to him - he analyzed the threat and formulated a plan of action (violence) that was successful for both him and her. But because she is so unaware of her surroundings (a sheep) while he is a predator (wolf) - they cannot communicate nor relate to one another when it comes to this situation - which is why this scene is so good
Great show.
I had a girlfriend get onto me for the same thing. I simply said, "I wanted to get my point across, without argument."...worked, he didn't argue.
Congratulations for being so awesome.
@@JohnSmith-fz1ih...wasn't anything "awesome" about it, you either have that mindset or you don't. I wouldn't claim to be a badass, just decisive and not hindered by empathy or hesitation.
I was a boxer until convinced that my future was elsewhere but I can see by body language if your intentions warrant a quick response. The best way to win a fight is to be the first to realize that fact.
@@ColeTurner-sr8mcSo in other words you're just a coward. Confidence doesn't mean you strike first. It means you strike when necessary.
@@Tacti_cat Coward is a slur used by keyboard bullies who have limited experience in self defense. I would describe myself as lucky, I was once able to get away with taking a knife to a gun fight. Fortunately he was an inexperienced young man and neither of us had to go to the hospital. I was NOT stating anything other than my experience, if I don't add up in your mind you can understand the indifference I hold of your opinions...
She doesn’t thank him for having her safety at the front of his mind and risking his safety and freedom to make sure she is ok
There is a weird aspect in life between violence and the understanding between men and women. I’ve been in situations that required a violent measure to dissipate the situation further. I’m actually a guy who will do anything to avoid it but I’m middle aged and have , even with all that considered, had to get violent a couple of times. Has never felt good but was necessary. My wife has never been in any fight ever. Never been bullied or punched. Our view of any violent situation is always going to be different. She always perceives a better way. I know that’s rarely the case with men. It’s hard being human.
He was thinking tactically. She was remembering her past and thinking emotionally. Oh, and sometimes talking is overrated. 😊
Sadly, some people only understand violence.
Ray is not supposed to be a hero in this series mate.
@@BabyDingo33Like Ray.
Completely the opposite. Anger and violence is emotional. Talking it out is calm and compromise is logical. The most disturbing insight his answer provides into his thinking is that he can't envision an outcome without violence. He assumed that if he didn't inflict violence first, they'd inflict violence on him. He assumes the worst outcome, the worst in people.
Furthermore, he may not even believe his own answer. It's very likely his way to rationalize violence. People who are habitually violent or explosively angry get off on it. It's a rush for them. We've all known people with anger issues (and some have unfortunately known violent types), and they're triggered by fairly minor things that the overwhelming majority of people can handle calmly or brush off / mostly ignore altogether. Like someone momentarily blocking your car.
She represents the societal norm. He didn't really consider her suggestion that he could've talked to them, he just blew right past it with his justification. He won't or can't truly consider the norm. He's broken; his reaction to problems is anger and violence by default. She sees that in his justification of his violence.
Bearing in mind she was watching a video of insects killing each other before he got into fight is the key here
I dont think the point is to argue whether or not Ray was right to do what he did. I think the point is to highlight how much of an outsider Ray is to ordinary people.
His logic and reasoning for doing what he did is sound, but to see someone actually do something like that is shocking to ordinary people.
Doing nothing is its own kind of violence
Well, it can beget violence ....
Only if doing nothing further harms the victim, yes. There's usually a lot to consider when dealing with conjecture and hypotheticals.
Both people here have completely valid perspectives. Unfortunately for ray that the relationship didnt work out, but like he understands, thats life.
She saw herself reliving her situation of being a victim of DA and chose to not to put herself in those situations by preemptively ending relationships where she thinks it could be the same. Thats her way off defending herself due to a past trauma.
Ray has a vastly different way on how to deal with those situations given his own childhood trauma. Rays method while ultraviolent to some, is his own way of responding to aggressive rapidly escalating situations which prioritizes himself, friends, and family over strangers.
I dont agree with his method of valuing money over life, but i cant disagree with the intent behind some of his actions.
Uninjured woman on the couch: "You were extremely violent! You could have just talked to them."
Injured woman in hospital: "Why didn't you do something?! They weren't listening."
Hope he's a better actor than man United manager
shes the kinda woman who has a son and teaches him to turn the other cheek then wonders why he's getting his head kicked in at school
No she’s not
you where really violent, great time for a big lez HEA
If he had "tried to talk"....and be a peaceful little boyscout, she'd be giving him a talk about how he needs to "be more of a man" and "stand up" and "take action". Women are never satisfied, no matter how men react to a situation.
Pragmatic thinking. No emotions or bla bla bla. She was smart enough to get it
His story checked out.
Difference in perspective.
He's very logic-oriented, but way too detached from emotions. Makes sense really. A very violent man that convinced himself he's not a bad guy.
Women don’t know how much men look out for them 🤔
So long as you can stay the line in defense of one's mind, and never let violence cross to the family, it makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, that is never the case, which is why she is damaged to begin with.
You know I started out thinking I was gonna hate this show since I'm not usually a fan other foreign comedies, but by the end I was thoroughly. It's very repetitive at times, but in a way that makes sense for the character.
Crazy how this show makes you equally side with his logic but also see the destructiveness of his actions both at the same time.
The other example is with his kid and the icecream. You definitely sided with him getting retribution, but then we he is later explaining it to the social worker, it seems so stupid in logic.
Damn right
I miss Ally , she was wonderfull. But probably best they separated
He had to pick between two evils a saint by many standards a satin upon others very few people understands the dangers of the world and why he was justified
This HAS to be one of the best shows I haven't watched yet. Although, I watched one clip a week ago and now the YT algorithm has me in it's sights and will not relent with one out of three videos containing 'Mr. In Between' content. This AI shit has to go.
It's well worth watching.
You have to. As an Aussie I'm a little biased, but many others agree. it is so well acted and scripted. Amazing balance between brutal violence, comedy and absolute heart.
Breaks my heart when you have to explain your actions to a Sheila
What, you mean having a chat, listening, considering the concerns and acting like a mature adult if possible? Yeah, that's rough, isn't it? lol Sucks to be a big tough guy around people who don't solve all their problems with blunt force trauma, doesn't it?
God I hate dealing with these kinda people. If a person is ready to fight a talk ain’t gonna stop em. 😂
The difference between how Women think and Men think.
I don't think it has anything to do with sex. His entire mindset is based on the underlying belief that the confrontation will turn violent and thus he is justified in striking first before he is numerically at a disadvantage. Her problem is that this assumption is one that a violent person would make.
His decision making is correct, if and only if, you assume violent confrontation was inevitable. Many people who utilize violence in a profession make poor decisions using exactly the thinking he did. This is particularly prevalent with police officers and other professions that demand compliance.
He's a hit man, before that he was in the army, he openly sees violence as a means to solve problems and also openly believes in bullying bullies. He will always be capable of justifying his violence. Neither of them are wrong per se, they are simply looking at the situation from different lenses, and those lenses have little to do with their sex and everything to do with how much they see violence as an acceptable measure in this situation.
There are plenty of women who would cheer his solution here.
@@Tyrantofthewindnah, this is definitely a an area where biological sex or at least our modern "civilized" men and women see things differently
@@Tyrantofthewind what a fucking liar, it is absolutely gendered, everyone knows it, and its baffling that we have to act like women have the same reaction of flight or fight.
@@ryantogo8359Found the flog.
@@ryantogo8359 did andrew tate tell you that?
Farkin Fairy Nuff.
Ray's lashing out was justifiable here, but [WARNING: SPOILER ALERT⚠️]...he later beats the daylights out of her relative for insulting his Daughter.
no he doesnt, he pushes him through a door for stealing his kids toy
@@itsjustaname777 ohh, you're right, we should have considered the assault of pushing someone through a door differently to other assaults, for some reason
@@opfragiledid he say that?
Bloke was begging for it 😂
Yeah.. Kitschy 😂
Can someone tell me which episode is this?
S01E04 "Brace Yourself"
People who are fortunate enough to not grow up in or around violence just can’t ever understand it and/or how it changes the brains of those who are “less fortunate”. We never got out of fight or flight mode, we’re underdeveloped and it’s beyond cognitive; that’s why therapists can’t help us, it’s not emotional, we can’t be rehabilitated, our brains were retarded through trauma, its primal genetic expression.
It’s not a twist of Cain problem like anger or rage. It’s a sons and daughters of Cain, and cities of Cain epidemic and the realization (if you’re “lucky” to survive to that level of court appointed enlightenment) that you don’t even know what good is, it never knew you; but you do know that if you had it, you couldn’t hold it, because you don’t even want it.
A house is not a home. A neighborhood can have pocket fences, or it can have barbed wire or it can have steel bars. Cribs are for infants. Hoods are for robbers. Without love, it’s hate thy neighbor as thyself.
Lord have mercy on us. We are the problem children only you can raise, the Father we need. If you’re willing, 🙏 work a miracle in us for your glory, there’s a lot of other crooked sons out there in need of your touch. ☮️
Smart, awesome... she is lucky
She knows, or at least suspects, that he is a violent psychopath.
☕
women dont understand the obligation of defending the family
Women fight for their families every day.
It's ok now that she finds out it's about her.
Lol. Shocking.....
You clearly did not watch the show.
@@_TheDudeAbides_ The real Dude would have seen it as the joke it was.
😅
Mans logic vs womans logic.
He did that for her. She should be more appreciative.
Watch a series without missing the point challenge
@@mostralikBro look at the other comments, it’s a parade of media illiterate wannabe tough guys.
She’s beginning to see him for what he is.
@@mostralik Bro look at this comment section. All these guys definitely think Walter White and Don Draper are uncomplicated heroes. They probably see Tyler Durden as an aspirational figure.
They’re fuckin’ morons, basically.
Women, they rarely think tactically or strategically unless it's their profession. Even helpful violence appears shocking. A wolf comes to the farm to eat sheep. The hound mangles the wolf and it runs off. Sheep now rebuke the hound because it resembles a wolf and used violence. It always makes the hound shake it head in confusion. A wolf uses violence for gain. A hound uses violence as a compliance tool. 'Submit to my will, or feel pain.'
This comment is nothing but red flags 😂
@@spiraljumper74your face is a red flag
@@ryantogo8359 lol somebody’s jealous of this handsome mug.
There are more alpha females than males in my observations.
Women think strategically most of the time. Men think with their dicks most of the time.
And Ray is a wolf, not a hound.
She wants him to protect her, but gets scared when he shows no hesitation in dealing with the situation.
So...do you want your man to protect you, or do you want to try and de-escalate the situation? 😂😂
While I understand that to him the incident was justified, ray in his case doesn’t always have control over how far he can take retaliation, with him being so experienced in combat so what can start off as a petty dispute, Ray can easily turn into multiple severe injuries, the whole point of Rays relationship with anger and violence is that it is what is preventing him from properly maintaining his life as a hit man and as a member of society simultaneously.
A protector does not always have to resort to the offensive, restraint and composure can be powerful tools in a dispute.
@@isaactovar1702 restraint is for the dead.
de-escalating a conflict is the best way to defend your family. That is the most important part of self defense. The violence avoided is the risk of injury avoided.
You can protect by deescalating. Not everything need be a fantasy king fu scenario.
Facts against feelings, feelings will always win!
Never listen to what a female has to say, when it comes to self-defense and safety.
It is interesting how you feel most like the character who is a murderer and a psychopath. Are you proud?
@@_TheDudeAbides_
It is interesting how you feel most like the character, who is a naive and gullible victim. Your imaginary girlfriend must feel really safe and proud around you.
Never listen to a simple minded misogynist when it comes to women.
@@jameshw9751
The only type of "man" who calls a Man "misogynist", is the kind of guy who sits in a corner chair, holding a warm moist towel, while Django finishes with his wife. Congratulations!
@@bowieupland6112 Is that right? You must not be a man then.
typical woman letting her emotions make decisions for her, while Ray shuts that shit down with logic
Her decision is logical beyond your understanding. Being in a relationship with a violent person is high risk. You just don't know about it so you imagine the violent psychopath in this show is sensible.
@@_TheDudeAbides_Well it has been proven in psychology than women are looking for a "dangerous " man. That doesn't mean violent with her or her children, but a man "capable" of being dangerous, and she want to help him to control that as much as possible. That's why you see a lot of beautiful women with "dickh*ad/bad boy" rather than a "nice guy". The first one is way more similar to a "dangerous man" than the 2nd. It also show how dumb our brain is for sure, since it's clearly not the same thing at all.
Anyway, the problem here is she saw ray in action, and also, she was with a coward man before who was hurting her physicaly. The brain doesn't make the difference, he can't, even if she know ray will never hit her like his ex.
You mean a woman who isn’t a sociopath?
@@_TheDudeAbides_ no you just take easy bait like a rat looking for cheese.
@@jameshw9751 sit down kid eat the cheese. baited
Never date a Karen who doesn't like a man who can defend her
This whole plotline really bugged me. Women get incredibly turned on by men acting crazy. I know people like to pretend otherwise but it's been shown time and time again women actively seek men willing to throw down.
Not if they have been in an abusive relationship prior.
@@Mav_F especially if they have been in a abusive relationship prior
@testtube173 oh okay. Frankly, as a female, I don't like violence, but I do believe sticking up for oneself. I never throw the first punch, and I defend the people who aren't able to, even men. You be surprised how many men out there hit women in public. As I am now getting older, I use my loud and foul mouth to save the day. My acting skills seem to scare people off.
Women are more violent than men in public. They seem to think they wouldn't get hit and think they should be abusive.
Like I said, I don't start fights, but men seem to find me an easy target and think I am easy if I say something to them nicely to leave the person they are bullying alone.
I hope I didn't confuse you lol
Not all women.
Some? Sure. All? No way.
I think this show was going for a more realistic feel rather than terminally online redpill bullshit.
Not living in the real world trying to make real world decisions.
Just silly.
The correct answer to "can we talk?" is no.
the actual question when they say "can we talk" is "you haven't actually done anything wrong, but I'm going to reframe it into a wrong"
I have a couple of mates that were decent in a fight, both of them have told me at different times, don’t wait always get the first punch in, that’s the punch that counts, happy to say those days are behind us
Sometimes woman just dont get it, they put themselves in dumb situations thinking they can talk their way through it.
This fictional character is not a role model. Please remember that.