31 Reasons to Stop an Affair: Part 1

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  • Опубліковано 25 сер 2024
  • This week I’d like to share with you an eye-opening and potentially life-changing article called, “31 Reasons to Stop an Affair: Part 1.” Do you feel like you can’t get through to your spouse? Or maybe you’re actually stuck in an affair-unable to stop? While you may think you’ve ‘been there’ or ‘done that,’ I’d like to ask you to consider the fact that maybe you haven’t seen things from every angle? Today’s article is filled with a new, insightful way of looking at concrete reasons to end an affair. I hope you’ll read it or even carefully share it with your spouse.
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    “The Recovery Library gave me 24/7 support because I could be up at 3am and search for the topic I was struggling with. It also helped as a couple because we could investigate topics together so it wasn’t subjective. I trusted this information because it was from professionals who also had lived through and recovered from infidelity. Double credibility in my book.”
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    Infidelity expert Rick Reynolds, LCSW, is one of America’s foremost authorities on helping individuals and couples struggling with affairs and compulsive sexual behaviors. He is Founder and President of AffairRecovery.com, the first company to offer anonymous worldwide online group support for those impacted by infidelity. Reynolds holds a Master's Degree in Social Work and is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. In 1992, Reynolds developed and began leading “affair recovery groups.” He received his Master's of Social Work from the University of Denver and completed three years of post-graduate training at the Colorado Institute for Marriage and Family Therapy. He has also worked at the nationally-known Minirth-Meier Tunnel & Wilson Clinic before moving on to private practice: www.affairreco...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 39

  • @laurasawicki4565
    @laurasawicki4565 4 роки тому +13

    This has distilled down to its essence what an affair really is. My ex, who is the one who needs to hear this, won't. But it has been so helpful for me. Thank you.

  • @ashleyk683
    @ashleyk683 4 роки тому +27

    WOW!! The Kansas analogy is simply the best description of an affair and what it really is that I’ve ever heard.

  • @Mari_509k
    @Mari_509k 4 роки тому +9

    Thank you for this sooo much! I needed to hear this. First time someone has mentioned an addiction and an affair. I needed this today.

  • @mikaelanell1258
    @mikaelanell1258 4 роки тому +14

    Absolutely brilliant video. The best I've seen on this topic

  • @pcuti6
    @pcuti6 3 роки тому +6

    Love the analogy ,this has been the hardest thing for me to deal with, not my first time being cheated on just the only time I cared I love my husband and I’m trying to forgive but oh so hard 😢

  • @agma19
    @agma19 4 роки тому +11

    I've come to love Wayne's video s. I look forward to more. ThAnks so much Affair Recovery.

  • @Cooniez
    @Cooniez Рік тому +4

    I agree with 99% of this video except for the part where it is love that keeps a betrayed with the unfaithful. Not that the betrayed may not love or care for the unfaithful spouse, but fear, desperation, wanting to avoid humiliation, etc are also reasons for clinging to a spouse who has made it clear they have no respect or care for you.

  • @dinomorell5163
    @dinomorell5163 4 роки тому +15

    Well that was the slap in the face I needed! Point after point after point!

  • @CSdjcdog
    @CSdjcdog 4 роки тому +6

    OUTSTANDING, you hit it squarely in the head,thank for some more insight

  • @beckychave
    @beckychave 4 роки тому +4

    Thank you for all of your videos! They have truly helped us and continue to do so every day I truly believe I'd be so lost if I hadn't discovered them.

  • @lyndarobertson6118
    @lyndarobertson6118 3 роки тому +1

    Wow, you really do understand all the stages of an affair and the Limerence that we fall into. Thanks for speaking truth and talking some sense into those of us who needed to hear this

  • @victoriagrow647
    @victoriagrow647 4 роки тому +6

    I LOVE THIS GUY!!

  • @strawberryfarm859
    @strawberryfarm859 Рік тому +2

    My husband suddenly moved out and I found out he had an affair partner. Since he came back twice saying sorry and work on us. Then he is back with her again. Last week, he told me he doesn't want to give up on us and told me he would call then no call. Back with her again. I am just done now. :( 😞

  • @jake8748
    @jake8748 3 роки тому +1

    The bubble reason so accurate. Further the down feeling saps the enjoyment both off and with your actual partner creating a feedback loop making the fantasy bubble just so much better but also making the eventual pop so much more devastating.

  • @IlycsinZsuzsi
    @IlycsinZsuzsi 4 роки тому +8

    I cried at your Kansas analogy, we past1st D-day 3 month and now the 2nd D-day 3 days ago, my Husband just acting like crazy all of them what you mentioned. He hasnt got a clear minded thought and always telling me that his affair partneir is true love toio, he loves me BUT... and when you ask him, OK name it what do you love abour her, his first answer " the way she sees me and thats how makes me feel" not any personality thing, it's about the feedback. And all of our therapist said to him, that he should stop until I stand here after 11 years together but he is in this kinda fog and almost see me as an enemy, constantly rewriting our history, telling me that Its really nothing wrong about his feelings, but I am the one with issues... and I am wondering when is this wierd romantic glass will fall from his eye and would he ever see the trurth of this

  • @nodramallama4698
    @nodramallama4698 4 роки тому +3

    Yeah this is alllllll the stuff I said to my husband of 22 years. It didn't matter. He still left to marry his affair partner.

  • @martyedwards1531
    @martyedwards1531 2 роки тому +2

    The spouses who are the unfaithful won't listen to this. They want to be the victim and they don't live in reality. If only.

  • @Ryan.j.Smithson
    @Ryan.j.Smithson 4 роки тому

    WOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!
    THAT FITS SO SO SO WELL!!!
    THANK YOU.

  • @ericabellavia8154
    @ericabellavia8154 4 роки тому +1

    Brilliant!!!!! Just brilliant!!!!

  • @bethfridley9175
    @bethfridley9175 4 роки тому

    Please keep up these Brilliant videos Wayne!

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 2 роки тому

    You have to earn courage - through risk. You learn to trust yourself that way…

  • @torinn2
    @torinn2 4 роки тому +4

    The first reason, about how the spouse is not the problem. If you are the betrayed spouse, and not seeing behavior changes, and working on your end with a professional, how do we know when to remove ourselves?

  • @darrinpatterson2142
    @darrinpatterson2142 4 роки тому +6

    Wooooow!!!!

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 2 роки тому

    Oh my … the Tin man analogy.
    Whoahw.
    Thank you.

  • @jeanniemcbride4619
    @jeanniemcbride4619 6 місяців тому

    Genius wow

  • @oambitiousone7100
    @oambitiousone7100 10 місяців тому

    I beg to differ on the true love of a spouse. I think it’s more the true attachment they have to their finances, and not wanting to up end their lives

  • @PurplePixi77
    @PurplePixi77 Рік тому +1

    How do you deal when the affair partner has 3 suicide attempts as a result of the affair ending?

    • @melodykubiak5850
      @melodykubiak5850 Рік тому +3

      What they choose to do is on them. Sounds callous but suicide attempts are often used to manipulate people into staying. Even if the AP succeeds it is not the fault of the person rejecting them. They are unstable. Getting social services involved or a suicide hotline is all that is required, not keeping in contact or continuing a relationship.

  • @oambitiousone7100
    @oambitiousone7100 10 місяців тому

    What is a relationship if it’s not getting your needs met by someone else? Whether it be someone you’re married to or not. If I’m really going to meet all my own needs, why be married

  • @helenlhocker
    @helenlhocker 4 роки тому +1

    Can someone write each one down

  • @jamescheetham8516
    @jamescheetham8516 3 роки тому +2

    What if, you entered into the marriage for the wrong reasons?

    • @marcowagner3930
      @marcowagner3930 Рік тому

      There is Always the Chance to Work on your marriage and Bring IT on a other Level. But IT needs both to Work on IT, to grow and do the very best to Work IT Out. But how a marriage begins and why is No final Statement. What are the right reasons For a marriage? Love? The Most couples begin so because of their romantic Feelings, but thats No foundation for a longterm marriage. There is also Work needed to make IT better.

  • @ricca7111
    @ricca7111 4 роки тому +2

    It seems there should only be ONE reason to stop an affair. 😔

  • @lynncameron7291
    @lynncameron7291 2 місяці тому

    I challenge you to find anyone else who was cheated on 21 hours after the marriage. Yes I said 21 hours after he said, "I Do!" He left his new bride in the afternoon and returned the next evening! 😮💩

  • @staleydu1
    @staleydu1 4 роки тому +9

    Agree with most of what is said. I think it's too broad and almost shaming to say you should never leave a marriage. There are times when leaving is best, for you, the kids and your partner. They may be rate, but they exist.

    • @ashleyk683
      @ashleyk683 4 роки тому +21

      R Crane i think what he is saying is it’s wrong to leave a marriage due to an affair. be considerate of your spouse and kids and tell your spouse you aren’t happy instead of lying and betraying them and sneaking around behind their back. Yes sometimes it’s best to leave a marriage if there is betrayal or abuse!

    • @staleydu1
      @staleydu1 4 роки тому +7

      Ashley, I don't disagree that might be what he meant, but it's not what he said. Don't get me wrong, I hate divorce, hate what it does to kids, but if a marriage is unhappy, how long do you stay? Forever? For the kids? Is that healthy? I don't have the answers, but I don't judge those who leave because I can empathize.

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 4 роки тому +6

      @@staleydu1 Agreed. I can so relate. I think these are very good reasons and explanations for sure. But applicable to those who actually had a romantic connection/real marriage relationship to begin with. Sadly, i did not....i married my spouse for who he was as a (wonderful) person/more so for emotional stability...not for the connection we had with each other. I was young when we married and was very very inexperienced in dating/relationships. Admittedly, i was never really attracted to him, nor in love, although he and i were very good friends/got a long quite well. I did have love for him, but never "fell in love" . All of this was very very difficult to fully realize and come to terms with/accept- it took several years (and me becoming involved with someone else, yes). So i don't think in all cases the marriage should be/can be saved.

    • @HopefulInterventions
      @HopefulInterventions 2 роки тому

      @@EadsB7002 So true.