The truth about living alone.

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  • Опубліковано 15 тра 2024
  • The truth about living alone. 💕 Use code CAROLINE60 to get 60% OFF + FREE SHIPPING on your Green Chef box at bit.ly/3xrGyCm ! Thanks for Green Chef for sponsoring this video.
    💕 Caroline
    ***
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    💕 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐏𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓
    ***
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    💕 𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆
    This video was edited by me, but other videos are often edited by the magical @benner.mp4 ❤️
    💕 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒
    carolinewinkler@thesociablesociety.com
    *I'm sorry, I'm not able to take on new design projects!
    💕 𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒
    00:00 - Intro
    1:45 - Ghosts.
    3:00 - TIPS for getting scared.
    4:15 - dealing with intruders
    4:53 - "man tasks"
    6:08 - FAVORITE THING about living alone
    5:55 - dealing with BOREDOM
    8:48 - TIP for filling your day
    9:30 - MUSIC v SILENCE
    10:00 - Cooking for one
    12:40 - TIP for working from home
    13:22 - living alone after a BREAKUP
    15:20 - PRO of living alone!!
    16:12 - my biggest complaint
    16:56 - SAFETY
    17:50 - Finding your DEISGN style
    18:45 - LONELINESS
    21:06 - Hell is other people.
    22:51 - Intentional Living.
    23:40 - The thing you WILL give up when living alone.
    25:40 - Bonus content!
    💕 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑
    All opinions are my own. Some links listed are affiliate links which means I earn a small commission if anyone decides to purchase through them. Thank you so much for your support!
    Please note that I am not a professional, in fact I am the literal opposite. I am just a plebeian out here loose on the streets. Things that I am NOT: a builder, trainer, craftsman, therapist, nutritionist, physical therapist, medical professional or anything else. All projects seen on my channel must be completed at your own risk and responsibility. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
    #interiordesign #washingtondc

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,3 тис.

  • @craig5322
    @craig5322 Рік тому +3088

    I was worried about my grandmother being lonely because she lived alone. I kept asking if she thought about moving in with us, and she always said no. After the third time I asked, she said, "Look: I have lived with people all my life. I grew up with four brothers I had to take care of. I married your grandfather when I was 17 and lived with him for over sixty years. This is the first time in my life I have been able to have my own space all to myself, and I love it. So really, I appreciate you thinking about me, but trust me, I have been wanting to live alone for a long, long time." I never asked her again after that.

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +313

      oh wow 💕That must have been wild to hear. and wild for her to enter into after all those years. i love this

    • @janewasson4845
      @janewasson4845 Рік тому +57

      That's what l said My g ma was exactly the same. I miss her every day!

    • @Captain_Pink
      @Captain_Pink Рік тому +83

      Mine too, she had had siblings to care for, then six children, then got beaten by first her husband and then when he abandoned her, boyfriends, and finally went to live out in a trailer in a field in Waco and said it was the first time she ever felt truly happy.

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +26

      Go Grandma! Moved out of home when I was 20 and my kids moved out when I was 42. Been healing the narc abuse the last 6yrs and now can’t wait to live alone without the emotional abuse. Do I miss being kissed? Yes and no. 99% of them were mocking me for wanting one and it was like hugging a tree.

    • @sharronb2476
      @sharronb2476 Рік тому +76

      I feel the exact same way. I'm 72 and living alone, have been for over 8 years. After 3 awful marriages, I LOVE living alone and not having to put up with any of the crap anymore lol. I've got 2 kids, 4 grands and 2 great grandkids. They make me so happy. I've seen so many scary movies in my lifetime that they don't even scare me anymore! I can watch a scary movie now and it doesn't bother me. After my last ex husband, nothing is scary anymore! Lol 😊 💕 ❤️

  • @MichaelaBelle
    @MichaelaBelle Рік тому +1029

    Hearing another grown woman talk about being afraid of the dark and running to her room after turning off the lights is genuinely so comforting you have no idea

    • @melmel7011
      @melmel7011 Рік тому +35

      I do not turn off the lights. Why do you guys turn them off?

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +9

      I used to be scared too but have been living on a few acres for a while and not scared anymore. Am moving to town at some point so hopefully I’ll able to adjust.

    • @theaconite1400
      @theaconite1400 Рік тому +29

      I don't think being afraid of the dark is something anyone should feel embarrassed about. I'm a guy and I have seen plenty of guys get spooked by the dark (including myself).

    • @MichaelaBelle
      @MichaelaBelle Рік тому +23

      I literally need to be in a sensory deprivation tank to fall asleep lmao no lights no music just anger

    • @hoedown175
      @hoedown175 Рік тому +3

      @@MichaelaBelle I appreciate the reference 😎🤘🏽

  • @ChaiShe1
    @ChaiShe1 Рік тому +566

    The worst part of living alone is; you can no longer live with anyone else.

    • @Liesbeth22
      @Liesbeth22 Рік тому +38

      This!!
      Living truly alone since November 2020.
      People keep asking (pushing) for me ro find a new partner, especially 'to not be alone at home'.
      I don't want to share my personal space anymore!
      I love living alone and can't even imagine another person in ly house, spending the night, living with me.
      I found it hard enough (but manageable) when my son (adult) stayed over for the weekend. He moved in with his girl now and I can't even imagine him around ALL the time anymore (which we'd still do, it's my child 😂).
      But yeah, I don't even want to live together anymore and I don't want a relationship that requires it.
      I don't want to blend in to another person's home and I don't want another person in my home.

    • @nolaserv
      @nolaserv Рік тому +35

      It gets harder as you get older too. FREEDOM RULES!

    • @pantherman8719
      @pantherman8719 Рік тому +10

      Yeah. Its so much better. Your time your space...

    • @vpscreations5401
      @vpscreations5401 11 місяців тому +1

      😄😄😄

    • @courtneywhitakerdesigns
      @courtneywhitakerdesigns 9 місяців тому

      Soooo true!

  • @emilysha418
    @emilysha418 Рік тому +936

    The intro to this video was singular. It felt like the opening scene of a movie. Way to capture the badass/elegant/vulnerable essence of living alone in one establishing shot.

    • @sharonjoan9997
      @sharonjoan9997 Рік тому +6

      Feeling it too

    • @maisiegibson9478
      @maisiegibson9478 Рік тому +11

      Totally agree!! I'm surprised there aren't more comments about it!

    • @jenniferberry4960
      @jenniferberry4960 Рік тому +7

      Yes! I had to stop the video and comment on it. Epic.

    • @TheFuzzieWuzzie
      @TheFuzzieWuzzie Рік тому +19

      She is a genius editor. I am completely hooked on her channel. So funny, and a wtf apartment. How you afford all the shit girl? Your family own an interior design company?!

    • @anacampuzano3041
      @anacampuzano3041 4 місяці тому +4

      It wasn't just singular, it was iconic.

  • @gkriebz
    @gkriebz Рік тому +923

    I also would say, don't undervalue "weak tie" relationships- i.e. the barista at your favorite coffee shop, the bus driver, the neighbor you always wave at on their porch, whatever. If you're living alone because you just moved somewhere new, and you don't have a network of strong relationships to rely on, cultivate the weak-ties! There's tons of research that weak-tie relationships are an important part of social life, and they help us feel happier and more enmeshed in our communities. They're important whether you have "strong-tie" relationships in your area or not.

    • @beachysands4036
      @beachysands4036 Рік тому +41

      Couldn’t agree more. I get alot out of those brief moments of connection.

    • @merrywalsh2809
      @merrywalsh2809 Рік тому +35

      Thank you for this concept. I never thought about it, but yes, weak ties are lovely.

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +36

      Yes, I talk to secretaries and shop assistants more than I talk to anyone else. Met a lovely lady at the chiro this week who was so awesome and had also gone through a bad marriage too and gave me so much hope for living alone and enjoying life for the first time. How did I meet her? I helped her down a difficult, wet step and we got talking!

    • @madddoll8685
      @madddoll8685 Рік тому +43

      This! I feel like there have been studies on this and honestly...I can say that I notice when people are "missing". Sometimes that's all it takes too, to say "hey we haven't seen the neighbor with the wheelchair in awhile" or "odd, the lady who lives down the hall hasn't been seen in weeks". I feel like it can help if someone has an emergency or get's hurt and THEY are living alone. It's easy to notice when the daily waves, smiles, etc. aren't there when you have a routine of saying hello. Maybe you ask the landlord to check in on them/ their unit. Never know! I know personally I love when I am a regular somewhere like a coffee shop and the owner/barista says "haven't seen you in awhile!" when you go back, it's always comforting, like you would be missed even by people who aren't on a friendship/intimate level, it's still meaningful.

    • @alexaf4186
      @alexaf4186 Рік тому +33

      when i moved to a new city, alone, hours away from any of my friends or family, i got so much joy from my local librarians who started to know me well enough to not need my card anymore to look me up, and i appreciate and love them so much :')

  • @sarasingleton9967
    @sarasingleton9967 Рік тому +494

    I almost never comment on videos, but the intro was simply one of the best intros on the entirety of the internet and thoroughly grateful to have witnessed. I’ve never lived alone, turned 18 and moved in with my boyfriend who turned into my husband and 12 years and two kids later I have no idea what this kinda of alone time is like. But I now have a specific vision when I romanticize having my own space and boredom in my life.

    • @azucarmorenita1
      @azucarmorenita1 Рік тому +2

      Same here to everything you said.

    • @mrtwills
      @mrtwills Рік тому

      It’s not

    • @misscrackwood
      @misscrackwood Рік тому +2

      I've been living with my hubby for close to 13 years now (moved from my parents' to an appartment together), and we have 2 kids, and that video made me crave a long vacation alone all by myself 😅 It's a feeling I have from time to time, I sometimes get to be alone for a few hours, but it's not the same as being alone for a period of time. Oh, the things I would do!

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +4

      Have an awesome new chapter in your life! That intro was the best! Haven’t been single since I was a teen too and 32 yrs later I’m so looking forward to it. The first time I had the house to myself for a few days when my kids were 6 and 3, oh boy, I was a different person and it was exciting. Have never forgotten that feeling of freedom. Am looking forward to never living with a narcissist again.

  • @claudiastephens9390
    @claudiastephens9390 Рік тому +612

    Came for the interior design but staying for the raw honesty and total gift of a human being you are!

    • @mafknlin5658
      @mafknlin5658 Рік тому +5

      This is helping me be a better person, my room is still narrow and weird tho

    • @miahconnell23
      @miahconnell23 Рік тому +5

      Yah ! Something about the thumbnail encouraged my clicking, next: the audio got my attention: “is that her singing ? It’s super on-key !!” 🎼 (I don’t think it’s her singing. & that’s ok.) and then once she got talking, I discovered that I totally enjoy listening to this person !! I feel I may’ve been a bit cavalier in the quickness with which I subscribed 😳

    • @ClaireCelticMystic
      @ClaireCelticMystic 3 місяці тому

      me, too. I just heard a few minutes and SUBSCRIBED, which I rarely do~! I love living alone and keeping things simple, but this is gold.@@miahconnell23

    • @jonie429
      @jonie429 3 місяці тому

      You explained it beautifully. Thats excactly what happened

    • @JillChristyGroup
      @JillChristyGroup 3 місяці тому +1

      Yes! She's adorable and quirky and authentic beyond belief! I love her presentations!

  • @Ustolemymusterd
    @Ustolemymusterd Рік тому +396

    Okay this is really wierd, but I just realized something. I struggle being excited about being alive. I don't look forward to much, except being asleep. I miss out on alot in my life becuase I will just sleep. My dreams are alot better then being awake becuase I always lucid dream. But honestly, watching your videos kinda makes me excited to be alive. To organize my room. Clean up all that garbage I have laying around. Make my space look pretty, and enjoy being bored. Idk just a fun little thought pattern I had. Basically your videos just really make being alive and doing basic stuff, look fun.

    • @lucidmaya
      @lucidmaya Рік тому +13

      Not weird and I’m glad you shared -excited for you! And that’s awesome that you lucid dream so much!

    • @kinashy8863
      @kinashy8863 Рік тому +9

      Sounds kinda like maladaptive daydreaming. Either way I'm happy you're more excited to be alive

    • @calvinevans8305
      @calvinevans8305 Рік тому +4

      Get a motorcycle.

    • @ConsiderTheCrows
      @ConsiderTheCrows Рік тому +11

      Been there. I thought I exhausted all hobbies. Then I discovered I like decorating and redecorating seasonally. Creativity is exciting.

    • @nancyb.9759
      @nancyb.9759 Рік тому +2

      YES!!!

  • @maiadean7053
    @maiadean7053 Рік тому +327

    The worst loneliness is inside an un fulfilling relationship. Being on your own is an important stage of life.

    • @GenXHeart
      @GenXHeart Рік тому +29

      That is SO true! I have never felt more alone than being with the wrong partner.

    • @MeHere650
      @MeHere650 Рік тому +7

      Spot on!

    • @elizabeths.9692
      @elizabeths.9692 Рік тому +5

      For the last few years of my marriage, I was lonelier than I have ever been.

    • @maiadean7053
      @maiadean7053 Рік тому +1

      @@elizabeths.9692 Better now?

    • @diemarkerin
      @diemarkerin Рік тому +3

      These are words of pure truth!
      Once I heard my grandmother say: You can be very lonely together.

  • @victoriarobertson266
    @victoriarobertson266 Рік тому +241

    Caroline: defends herself when leaving the shower, checks under the bed and in the closet, hides weapons scattered throughout her apartment
    *Also Caroline: sleeps with earplugs in*

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +109

      I knowwwww I debate this a lot. Sometimes I try to do just 1 earplug so I can hear the intruder but not the ghosts
      Still working on the balance

    • @TM_VI
      @TM_VI Рік тому +13

      @@Caroline_Winkler Did the 'one earplug thing' for years! Fell asleep on my open ear, so they're both shut off. But in my sleep I toss and turn anyway, the earplug would fall out, so if anything happened I'd just hear it. Can recommend

    • @sedona3player
      @sedona3player 4 місяці тому +3

      May I suggest a brown noise sound at night? I’m scared of ghost / house sounds and this helped me a lot

    • @LisaFernandezstyle
      @LisaFernandezstyle Місяць тому

      I do this too. 😂 I usually lose my earplugs in the bed. ​@@Caroline_Winkler

  • @ayidas
    @ayidas Рік тому +168

    Your sister coming on and being a literary nerd was fantastic 😂💕

    • @sarahg6209
      @sarahg6209 7 місяців тому +5

      Yessss I loved the casual Woolf and Sartre inserts (and the facial expressions were on POINT)

    • @bruncher4014
      @bruncher4014 3 місяці тому +1

      Hell is other people, I have that line posted on my ig. 😂 It is very true...

  • @jessietipton6718
    @jessietipton6718 4 місяці тому +32

    Thinking about loneliness as a signal like hunger is the most helpful advice I’ve heard in a decade. Thank you!

    • @Stu-ky5ut
      @Stu-ky5ut 17 днів тому

      Me too it was so on point for me 😊

  • @lindat1078
    @lindat1078 Рік тому +340

    I was married for 19 years when I fell and broke my back, resulting in living in a wheelchair because I was paralyzed . I finally divorced him after another three years of being married. I’ve lived alone now in a wheelchair for 15 years and it’s the most awesome experience I’ve ever had! All the pros you listed are great plus I really found a deep sense of peace in being myself. Don’t need a man now!! Whooopppe🎉

    • @myeyes9574
      @myeyes9574 Рік тому +7

      Very powerful 💪🏾❤️

    • @amykrueger-smith5461
      @amykrueger-smith5461 Рік тому +22

      I recently. Became wheelchair bound n am living alone. I s I wish someone would do videos on hacks or hints t I help out. That said I love being alone

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +5

      So glad you’re living your best life! Thank you for the hope for life after divorce. You have just become one of my divorce heroes!

    • @lovealexxxx3491
      @lovealexxxx3491 Рік тому +5

      Yeah it’s the little things that make you glad how limited real life is. Self-care like trying new skincare masks or doing my own nails instead of a salon makes me feel this deep peace. Even just picking books from a library or bookstore or driving in complete silence or coloring/solving a puzzle

    • @m3ntal_c0re
      @m3ntal_c0re Рік тому

      sad

  • @pp20173
    @pp20173 Рік тому +291

    One of my biggest regrets was not living alone before I got married and had kids. I still secretly fantasize about it.

    • @merrywalsh2809
      @merrywalsh2809 Рік тому +17

      Maybe you could make a “she shed.”

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +13

      Hell yes! I went from a narc sister to a narc husband and would have loved to be able to heal and find out who I am without them. Didn’t know back then what a narc was and or that I needed to heal at 20. Starting to trust myself in my 50s. One time we were due to go to visit his parents interstate and I decided not to go. It was the best 4 days of my life. I couldn’t believe how I felt.

    • @pp20173
      @pp20173 Рік тому

      @@merrywalsh2809 It would soon be infiltrated by three kids under 8 and turned into a kid cave. 😂

    • @Englishroserebecca
      @Englishroserebecca Рік тому +3

      Me too. Never lived alone always wanted to try it

    • @SheDreamsInDigital
      @SheDreamsInDigital Рік тому +1

      Ditto!

  • @intentionallymadi1843
    @intentionallymadi1843 Рік тому +108

    Cooking for one tip: batch cooking and freezing! Chilli, soups, even some pasta dishes work really well reheated. If you like cooking but struggle with produce going bad, here's some tips I've picked up (hopefully they help you too):
    (edited because I remembered another tip)
    1. Plan meals around using up produce: if a recipe calls for 2 carrots but carrots come in a huge bag, find a second recipe for the week that also uses carrots, or get some hummus to have with them as a snack.
    2. ALWAYS check your fridge before choosing what to cook, otherwise you WILL forget that you have half a lime you need to use or half a packet of sour cream.
    3. Invite people round and share food with them: one of my biggest pleasures in life is giving the people I love food
    4. Meal swap with friends: batch cooking is great but one big drawback is it can be boring, so see if you have a friend who also batch cooks stuff and just swap some tupperware to get some variation
    5. Learn about the best way to store produce for longevity: often the packaging you buy something in is not the best way to keep it fresh. I just started doing this and it's made a massive difference for something that's so simple!
    6. One-pot cookbooks: these tend to have smaller portion sizes and also be things that reheat well!
    I really hope this helps someone if you like cooking and/or don't like/can't do meal delivery services for whatever reason (like me).

    • @audreyd1003
      @audreyd1003 11 місяців тому +7

      Yep. So agree. I love making, for example, freezer jams in the summer; butternut soup or mini-lasagna's in the fall/winter; using a bread recipe and making rolls (take out 1-2 and freeze the rest). Cooking/baking are enjoyable creative opportunities for some.

    • @shannonberp
      @shannonberp 10 місяців тому +4

      Amen to meal prep

    • @xMissPegasusx
      @xMissPegasusx 7 місяців тому +3

      Really good advice

  • @k.a.n.2778
    @k.a.n.2778 Рік тому +26

    I am 33 and for the first time of my life I can afford to live alone. My mental health has improved SO MUCH in the past 2 months, I feel calm, I like to come home, I don't have to worry about anyone else being here or about the mess others make. It's just my own shit. Everything looks nice and neat, it's quiet and when I do want company, I can just invite them over, even overnight because I have a huge couch. I love it. Never wanna live with anyone else ever again. Except foster dogs. I am planning on doing that again.

  • @rachaelart
    @rachaelart Рік тому +127

    “I cant tolerate the stimulation of music”. I loved the way you phrased this. It overwhelms me sometimes, especially if I can’t find the right music for the situation.

    • @jo4vt
      @jo4vt Рік тому +1

      Me too!

    • @hollydingman7455
      @hollydingman7455 Рік тому +1

      I’m opposite 😅 I use music to help me get into a deep focus zone (while studying or something). It does eventually get too stimulating though.

  • @mandy833
    @mandy833 Рік тому +139

    I loved that opening scene, it represents freedom and courage and the joy of being a woman. It can be in those moments that you feel most alive. It's not about sexuality, it represents embracing your body, facing your fears, letting go, and finding out who you are - there is nothing sexier. Living alone provides an opportunity for growth.

    • @vaderladyl
      @vaderladyl Рік тому +10

      Clothing is optional because you live alone=priceless.

    • @marissapeters8975
      @marissapeters8975 Рік тому

      @@vaderladyl hear hear

    • @nuriaarmengol2570
      @nuriaarmengol2570 27 днів тому

      I also loved the opening scene, just for her spontaneity.

  • @kellybraille
    @kellybraille Рік тому +59

    Your sister is both instantly delightful and slightly unbearable and she is absolutely my sort of person. We love her. More sister, please.

  • @johnd4348
    @johnd4348 Рік тому +9

    I like living alone. Been alone most of my life. The only thing is you have to do everything yourself. From cooking, cleaning yard work car care, running arrans, and there is no one to call if you need help doing something. Everything falls on your shoulder's If you live alone, you have to be prepared for anything. Even if your sick. No one to take care of you. But living alone is great.

  • @veganmeditations
    @veganmeditations Рік тому +317

    You are the most authentic, funny, relatable, real person on UA-cam. THANK YOU. It's hard to find on here.

  • @aileenbell6750
    @aileenbell6750 Рік тому +196

    I am married with three almost adult kids that are at home. After the pandemic I was craving that “alone” space…my solution was gardening. Most of the gardening I have done alone, by myself, and it has given me newfound confidence. It is my space of silence, and flow. Just me and the birds. 👍

    • @queenofhearts64
      @queenofhearts64 Рік тому +7

      gardening used to be my alone time away from the constant computer game noise, peace and quiet and nature

    • @aileenbell6750
      @aileenbell6750 Рік тому +2

      @@queenofhearts64 oh yes…I am well familiar with the sounds of teens gaming. Sometimes a little silence is heavenly. 🥰

    • @yasmeen6790
      @yasmeen6790 Рік тому

      Sounds wonderful!!

    • @xSwordLilyx
      @xSwordLilyx Рік тому

      I just have potted plants but during the pandemic I went from never being able to keep anything alive to a lush garden of pots, growing poppies from seed, a now year old azalea bush that flowered for christmas, marigolds to keep the bees away, it really made outside a comfortable place for me. Also we get early frosts here as well as torrential downpour so I can protect my babies from that.
      Even when I smashed a chunk of finger in the patio umbrella tilt mechanism, it brought me peace. Loved dozing off on my bench in the shade with a headache. I very much feel I am waiting for it to be warm again 😂

    • @marybeth23
      @marybeth23 Рік тому

      Playing and digging in the dirt is definitely therapy for me, I love it!

  • @haylsey
    @haylsey Рік тому +89

    Having a dog really helps with adjusting to living alone. I've been living alone since i was 17, i was always very scared of the same things as Caroline, but whenever i got scared I'd look at the dog and think, well the dog isn't barking, he's calm, and since dogs hear better than us there's definitely nothing suspicious happening in the house. Plus, having a pet can help you feel less lonely, i would recommend it to get a dog if you have similar issues (or a cat, they also hear well and can alarm you) if you can. My dog is a senior and has recently lost most of his hearing ability, so i've been kind of going through the whole fear of the dark and noises experience again unfortunately...

    • @greendodgy
      @greendodgy Рік тому +6

      Agreed! I always blame the weird noises in my house on my guinea pigs.

    • @jessejames4967
      @jessejames4967 Рік тому +6

      If you live with a dog, you don’t live alone

    • @chrissyscholl816
      @chrissyscholl816 Рік тому +7

      Pets in general. I hated cats until I wanted a dog and couldn't get one because where I lived only allowed cats not dogs. But I agree they can make you feel calm. Especially when they're purring away and happy. But then there are times like the other night... two of my cats were starring at something I couldn't see! Big huge eyes and then out of no where the last one came running out from the other room, big eyes and jumped like 3 ft puffy tail, clearly terrified. And then all 3 of them were starring... I was so scared!

    • @jessejames4967
      @jessejames4967 Рік тому +1

      @@chrissyscholl816 Spirits!

    • @goblinfruit5937
      @goblinfruit5937 5 місяців тому +2

      THIS! I loved this video, but I’ve never had the fear thing… and then I realised - I HAVE A DOG! and you just have to be strong for them because they scared of everything 😂

  • @MissMarple351
    @MissMarple351 10 місяців тому +7

    [sorry if my English is not perfect, it's not my native language]
    Caroline, I don't know if my message will reach you but I hope so. My 5 years relationship just ended. My boyfriend died suddenly few weeks ago.
    This whole thing is terribly sad and disturbing. As soon as the shock has passed, one of my first worry was : I'm 31 and have never lived alone. I'm facing this whole new life that I didn't chose and am worried as hell.
    I watch every single one of your videos since the past year and I don't know why but I skipped this one (unintentionally) when it was released. I just stumbled on it today, when this question of leaving alone was torturing me the most.
    I think there are no words to tell you how your video gave me hope and comfort. And these days it's a very difficult challenge.
    So I just wanted to say thank you and I wanted you to know you made a tiny but important difference in the life of someone who is leaving the harder period of her life. So, thank you so much.

  • @pamkowal7464
    @pamkowal7464 Рік тому +168

    I am 70 years old, married for 49 years, and have never lived alone. At the age of 22, I moved from my parents’ home into my own home with my new husband. I was terrified at that age of the thought of being self-supporting and totally responsible for all my needs. It was the one important step I missed in all my life passages. Not surprisingly, I daydream regularly about what it would feel like to live alone and I spend inordinate amounts of my down time watching UA-cam videos of decorating studio apartments and going solo. It is the one major regret of my life-that I didn’t spend some ‘adult’ alone time before marrying.

    • @RegularHuman
      @RegularHuman Рік тому +5

      dear Pam, no need to regret. everyone has their own journey. I am sure you can find alone time in a relationship as well. For example morning walks alone, reading, and so on. Alone is mostly a state of mind. :)

  • @asfaltsflickan
    @asfaltsflickan Рік тому +80

    I have a great tip for not having to check potential hiding spots every night; stuff everything absolutely full of random junk until there’s no room for anyone to hide. Not even my cats can hide in my closets. It’s awesome and definitely a deliberate strategy and not a result of the intense separation anxiety I feel when I get rid of things. 👍

  • @cassanym
    @cassanym Рік тому +20

    I lived alone for 3 years, moved in with roommates (1yr), and then a partner of 7 years (2 yrs), back to living alone again. My first round living by myself was awful, not going to sugar coat it. I was often freaked out, couldn't cook for myself, and had little to no friends.
    After living with others and now living alone again - I really cherish my time by myself. Is it difficult? Yes. But, I can do things on my own time for myself when and how I want to.
    I love your video and did a small cry when you started talking about living alone after a long relationship. It's repairing myself of the bits and pieces that he gave me for so long, and filling it with friends, long walks, going to the produce stand for a single peach, and not adhering to anyone but me. No one else is going to be around for you when you're alone - it's all on yourself. And honestly, I've become my own friend again setting my boundaries became easier and my standards have been raised. Living alone again has it's ups and downs, in the end it's healing.

  • @yk5044
    @yk5044 Рік тому +33

    The best takeaways from this video for me personally:
    1) boredom is the breeding grounds for problem solving and new revelations, so don't be afraid of doing your chores in silence.
    2) Your feelings are SIGNALS. i am often a very lonely girl, with no siblings and a busy family and am very shy /self conscious. I also realized i feel more lonely because I'm unsatisfied with my current livelihood, job, education, and other things that have nothing to do with loneliness except that loneliness is how my body immediately manifests negative thoughts!! therefore truly, our feelings are signs. don't see them as things to get rid of - instead, listen to them. just like hunger. gOODNESS i LOVE you and your ADVICE

  • @lillybits9726
    @lillybits9726 Рік тому +235

    Caroline...you are TOOOOO FUNNY! You go from not being afraid of being seen naked when you opened your blinds, to running down your hall terrified after turning off your light. You are DEFINITELY UNIQUE...and that's why we all love watching. Keep being YOU!❤😊😊

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +91

      very different threats!! public humiliation will never get me. but A WEIRD SHADOW IN THE KITCHEN? i cannot

    • @rosicloset
      @rosicloset Рік тому +3

      @@Caroline_Winkler girl, same. 🤣

    • @lillybits9726
      @lillybits9726 Рік тому +2

      @@Caroline_Winkler ROTFL!:)

    • @FrogeniusW.G.
      @FrogeniusW.G. Рік тому +2

      ​@@Caroline_WinklerAbsolutely same!

  • @FloTheasBays
    @FloTheasBays Рік тому +147

    For a long time I struggled with cooking only for myself, and even more with tidying up a space only seen by me. What completely shifted my perspective and thus my habits around it was to consider these things as amazing self-care. A pure luxurious treat. Having a tasty home cooked-meal, spending time in my room smelling nice and fresh is like a gift I give to myself everyday. It gives me so much pleasure honestly, and really highlights any dull day.

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +17

      Thank you for that. Take care of you! Enjoy life! I’ve been using a nice soap in the shower as my treat and linen spray on my bed. I bought some diffusers too. Still hate cooking but at least I get to cook my favourite meals. I had to get therapy to be able to wash up and go in the kitchen as my sister made life hell washing up as kids and my husband couldn’t complain enough if I was in the kitchen and hated my cooking. Now I can wash up each day and keep the kitchen tidy. I dance while the microwave is on and sing a parody song when unstacking the dishwasher.

    • @bentesild3244
      @bentesild3244 Рік тому +4

      ​@@fionaschiffl8065 i loved reading this, so beautiful and true. Thank you ❤

    • @FloTheasBays
      @FloTheasBays Рік тому +2

      @@fionaschiffl8065 that's awesome Fiona! Therapy was also what allowed me to shift my perspective and learn how to take care of myself. I'm glad to read that you found in yourself the strength to do so too ❤

    • @lovealexxxx3491
      @lovealexxxx3491 Рік тому +10

      Yeah this mindset also helped me recover from my mental breakdown. after getting out of the hospital, recovering from my mini embarrassment and having to withdraw from my classes I fell into a depression and was trying to keep myself from severely disassociating. The first thing that helped me come back was making the decision to shower but in a way that meant self-care/self-love and I was just crying because I realized subconsciously I thought I didn’t deserve the care and love

    • @liliyagill2730
      @liliyagill2730 Рік тому +6

      I loved to live alone. I could have candles, plants, funiture, or music loud if I want ...
      And now , I have to live in constant compromise ...And I tell you CONSTANT :////

  • @Bubbles-od2tv
    @Bubbles-od2tv Рік тому +26

    I’m so guilty of that roommate comfort thing. It’s true, you don’t get lonely with roommates, but it’s a superficial short term solution. You’re so wise for your age Caroline. Wish I’d known all this 20 years ago.

  • @SaraLenton_14
    @SaraLenton_14 Рік тому +28

    I never thought I could live alone … I’ve now been doing it for 3 years, and I’m worried I never want to stop. 😅 You really do adjust and it can be quite lovely. One random tip, especially for those afraid of the dark: dusk to dawn night lights! Especially for the bathroom. I’m obsessed - even if you don’t live alone, they are fantastic for evening ambiance. 👌

  • @rosicloset
    @rosicloset Рік тому +293

    I live alone and love it! Here's my additional suggestions to remove fear and creepiness: Put lights in dark corners. Either a desk light on the floor facing up with plants in front so they are underlit or backlit, or use fairy lights on the floor in the dark corners or areas, under leggy pieces, draped around plants, etc. ALSO CLUTCH: Since I don't have cable and hate watching TV, I have a fireplace video app on my TV and it stays on 24/7 with a fireplace crackling - my plants backlit behind it. When I come home, the house isn't quiet - it's cozy and crackling. When I wake up in the morning and come out to the living room - it's not a quiet house -it's cozy and crackling. When I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, my house isn't creepy and quiet, it's cozy and crackling. When I'm reading or browsing the web and relaxing... There is something about the sound and flicker of a fireplace that is PRIMALLY COMFORTING. I'm not kidding. Try it when you don't want (or in combination with!) talking, music, movies, TV, etc. as your background sound. Key is: have a background sound! Oh Also - I use the Sleep app to make a custom background noise to fall asleep to. I can never fall asleep now in a quiet room! The app plays gentle nature sounds all night with enough layers to not get boring. I use a combination of rain, waterfalls, flute, chimes, gong, and wind. And it has a fireplace sound too, so when I'm reading on my phone in the dark at night in my bed - I play the fireplace sound instead so it's right in my hands and the room isn't too quiet! lol

    • @macummings7818
      @macummings7818 Рік тому +17

      Inspired! Beautiful! I love it. 💕💕💕

    • @aliceb5651
      @aliceb5651 Рік тому +16

      Awwww cozy and crackling 🥺 that sounds so nice! Well done ! Thanks for sharing your tips !

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +53

      awww i love the idea of fairy lights especially! some sweet soft mood as well 🙌

    • @berlintechno7907
      @berlintechno7907 Рік тому +15

      I do a similar thing where I leave the lights on on days where I know I‘ll come home after dark! So then I don‘t come home to a completely dark and creepy apartment but a cozy little cave 🧡

    • @lyndacobb1140
      @lyndacobb1140 Рік тому +8

      Guuurl, I have that escape ladder. And I love it. I even tried it. It is peace of mind. And who doesn’t love an escape! 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

  • @michellemontana
    @michellemontana Рік тому +236

    I LOVEDDDDD living alone. Somehow was never afraid and slept like a baby. I tell people this (including my husband) all the time that my biggest regret with our relationship was meeting him so soon because living alone was the absolute best best best. And I did it for the first 8 months of the pandemic so I was ALONE. It was amazing. Live alone and start painting and romanticize that lifeeeeee. K bye.

    • @helene7137
      @helene7137 Рік тому +10

      Meeee toooo! I miss having my own place!

    • @NikolaiGunter
      @NikolaiGunter Рік тому +23

      Saaaaaaame! I met my now fiance a year into living alone and it's my favorite. I'm getting married in two months and I'm kind of mourning(??) that I won't have the place to myself anymore? It's a weird feeling. I'm grateful for the change and I'm very excited to marry him but like... my apartment is so nice. 🥲

    • @michellemontana
      @michellemontana Рік тому +17

      @@NikolaiGunter I cried sooooo hard giving up my old apartment 😭 it’s been 2 years and I miss it all the time lol

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +40

      i had a friend share with me that she moved in with her then bf (now husband) and was quite happy, but then also fel the need to live separately at least to know what it was like. He understood and they moved out and she loved it....and also now they're married and living together. There are pros to both!

    • @michellemontana
      @michellemontana Рік тому +13

      @@Caroline_Winkler I don’t mean to sound like I don’t love living with my husband 😂 fortunately for me he has great taste and is a wonderful artist so it all worked out in the end lol

  • @leah392
    @leah392 3 місяці тому +3

    Your opening sequence is the pinnacle of what my husband and I call “asserting window dominance”

  • @jillsi
    @jillsi Рік тому +25

    I keep a journal. Its amazing. I tell those day to day highs and lows to this journal. It helps me to get stuff off my chest at the time, but I also have learned so much about myself along the way! Weirdly, it's like my future self is listening to my past self. I've gained compassion, respect and have just learned so much. I highly recommend

    • @Lydia-Victoria
      @Lydia-Victoria 3 місяці тому

      I do the same.
      Have written thousands of pages.

  • @wrosapfs
    @wrosapfs Рік тому +100

    I lost my dear husband almost 5 years ago. This is the first time I've ever lived alone. Your advice is SPOT ON. I learned that I like my own company! I saw myself in EVERY SEGMENT! 🤭 Thank you!!!

  • @michelecarroll8168
    @michelecarroll8168 Рік тому +77

    I got out of a 30 year very abusive relationship. Before that I was a teenager and lived with my parents. Now I live alone and I am 54 years old. I love love love it! I’m old enough to make my own choices, I’m old enough to act the way I want, and I really love not having to compromise with anybody about how my house is or what I want to do during the day. Love this video! Keep up the good work.

    • @stephanieiv1163
      @stephanieiv1163 Рік тому +4

      YOU GO! I can SO relate to this! Be happy and liberated, good stranger!

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +6

      I’m pretty much the same with 32yrs of hell. Thank you for the hope after divorce. Going through it at the moment and my narc is worse than ever. Enjoy your new awesome life! Take care of you. I’m going to decorate my house, cook how I want, walk how I want, shop where I want, turn a door knob the way I want and no one is going to tell me I’m doing it wrong. I love coming home to an empty house and yelling out hello gorgeous!

    • @jodiblackman7838
      @jodiblackman7838 Рік тому +2

      Exactly

  • @1zebraphobe
    @1zebraphobe Рік тому +48

    Loving your sister's literary quotes :D But also - boredom is essential to creativity - YES! And loneliness is definitely not the enemy.

    • @audreyd1003
      @audreyd1003 11 місяців тому

      Boredom allows connecting with our inner creative muse ... and sometimes it is just okay to be bored. We live in an overstimulated world. Good to give our never endings and brain cells a rest! Just saying.

  • @Milena-ss6jh
    @Milena-ss6jh Рік тому +14

    I've come to love living alone a few years ago. I lived with my husband for about 2 years before we had to do long distance because of our jobs. We hope to move back in together in autumn. Our plan is to kind of room together - we both get our own room for sleeping, creative stuff, interests, whatever and have some sort of kitchen/living space. We can do "sleepovers" at each others room whenever we want but have the option of keeping things separate which makes having different daily routines way easier. And I can also do whatever I want with my room (furniture, decor, ...) without thinking about my partner. That's freeing sometimes.
    Some additional tips on cooking for one:
    - Cook something that you can easily freeze and freeze half of it for another time. This also works with parts of a meal.
    - Mealprep, but not in the traditional way. Rather prepare different components that you can mix and match. You could also only prep a few basics (dressing/sauces, cut stuff, ...).

  • @siobhanjohnson6691
    @siobhanjohnson6691 Рік тому +202

    OMG THANK YOU for talking about not having music on. My friends treat me like a mutant because I don't listen to music in my house and sometimes I even forget to put music on in my car. What can I say, I'm completely entertained by my own thoughts. Anyhoo, thank you for this video--I'm a single mom whose son will be leaving for college in the fall and I'm terrified of feeling bored and aimless. Plus I live in a very creaky house, so I'll start training now so I can be ready to run by August.

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +29

      ahh that sounds like it will definitely take a transition! big change. But I hope that after a bit of a transitional period you'll find a lot of new freedoms and delights in your home ❤ also yes all day to silence

    • @antoniafoster8264
      @antoniafoster8264 Рік тому +1

      Same! 🤗

    • @merrywalsh2809
      @merrywalsh2809 Рік тому +3

      Yes! I can only listen to music in my car, and on rare occasions, over the speakers that were already in the ceiling when I bought my house.

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +8

      It’s so cool to have an empty nest though the only thing I’ve found is that I can’t ever decide on what to cook as I’ve mainly cooked what everyone else wants. The silly thing is I can cook all my favourite meals and I still can’t decide even 10yrs later!

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +4

      @@merrywalsh2809 Me too. I do have the TV on to keep my mind occupied though but the last several years have been learning a lot on youtube instead of watching my favourite shows in preparation for living alone. Wish I could enjoy the silence though but my mind just ruminates over my horror marriage.

  • @KnitsFromTheVoid
    @KnitsFromTheVoid Рік тому +111

    That intro was such a masterpiece in and of itself. I love living alone. No-one talking at you non-stop when you come home from work, nobody else's stuff cluttering everything. I'm the opposite though, I never was scared of being or living alone. I would absolutely benefit from not hiding inside my comfort zone by living with someone.

    • @Abby-ll5yw
      @Abby-ll5yw Рік тому

      Minus the Shania Twain 🤢

    • @FrogeniusW.G.
      @FrogeniusW.G. Рік тому +1

      100% on the clutter part.

    • @janinawaz4596
      @janinawaz4596 Рік тому +6

      When I decided to share space with my partner it was after being together for 9 years living separately (15 minutes away). I needed that time and space to decompress from a previous (very bad) relationship. It allowed me to welcome the man of my dreams when he showed up in my life, and simultaneously do the healing I needed to do on my own.
      I am much more secure and confident because I took that time to have my own space.
      We share a place now and it's good. We still have our own rooms/territory we can retreat to, in order to have alone time and recharge.

    • @fionaschiffl8065
      @fionaschiffl8065 Рік тому +8

      Awesome! Well done on taking time for yourself. I’ve been healing for 6yrs from my horror marriage and if I find someone new, I want to be the best version of myself I can be. My husband took over every inch of space he could in our house so having control over my new physical spaces is going to be fabulous. All the best to you!

    • @FrogeniusW.G.
      @FrogeniusW.G. Рік тому +3

      @@fionaschiffl8065
      Wow. Sounds terrible.
      Glad you're out!
      All the best for your future!

  • @natashadavies9569
    @natashadavies9569 Рік тому +13

    Caroline, you can get a plug in night light that's triggered by motion detection.
    While my ex stray cat was still getting used to me I used to walk into my dark kitchen (en route to the lav) and the darkness would hiss at me.

  • @X3r0.
    @X3r0. Рік тому +7

    I absolutely love living alone. I spent so long having to have roommates, or living with a partner… it feels so good to not answer to anyone !

  • @luvslagos
    @luvslagos Рік тому +15

    I’ve lived alone for almost 15 years. The biggest cons are:
    1. Getting sick and having no one in the house to take care of trash, litter boxes, etc. 2. When the electricity goes out for several days (this has happened to me several times) it is difficult and extremely boring.

    • @Bubbles-od2tv
      @Bubbles-od2tv Рік тому +2

      Another con is you don’t practice small talk. Also living with others can shame you into doing things like getting out of the house instead of binging on Netflix. Sort of nudge you out of your comfort zone. She did mention being intentional about socializing and going out.

  • @lafbrito
    @lafbrito Рік тому +48

    I'm 39, and I love living alone so much I worry I'll never be able to share a home with anyone ever again. My space gives me so much peace and I love spending time on my own (can you tell I'm an introvert? lol). I think you just have to get to know yourself to figure out what works for you, and often times the best way to figure that out is to spend time with yourself. :)

    • @filmandstory
      @filmandstory Рік тому +9

      Yes, I have the same thoughts as I've been living alone for years now (after divorce). Hard to imagine someone else in my space and all the demands others put on you.

    • @k1zmt
      @k1zmt Рік тому +3

      @@filmandstory same story

    • @vaderladyl
      @vaderladyl Рік тому

      That is my issue, I am so used to live alone that I am difficult to adapt to other people living in my home now.

  • @ceola9092
    @ceola9092 Рік тому +3

    For the cooking problem, just cook like normal and stock the freezer with leftovers. If the recipe is really big then I’ll just cut it in half and freeze some. It’s nice too bc on days I don’t feel like cooking or eating out there’s usually something in the freezer I can quickly reheat

  • @miahan8988
    @miahan8988 2 місяці тому +1

    The intro was a whole mood. I share a 2-bedroom flat with a flatmate so we each get our own room (I’d love to live alone but the R E N T 😭). When she’s not home, I walk around naked. I just feel so free and unbothered lol. Also it’s great during the summer when it’s sweltering outside, ugh.

  • @irhonda31
    @irhonda31 Рік тому +35

    I am 63 and have lived alone ever since graduating college. I’m never lonely; I love being alone and not having to check in with anyone. I fall asleep watching true crime videos and do not have nightmares about them, nor do I have a home security system. Try living alone, you’ll love it! 👍🏻😁

    • @melmel7011
      @melmel7011 Рік тому +3

      Wow wow

    • @irhonda31
      @irhonda31 Рік тому +2

      @@melmel7011 😊

    • @KB-hs7vh
      @KB-hs7vh Рік тому +2

      Thanks Rhonda! 🤗

    • @irhonda31
      @irhonda31 Рік тому +4

      @@KB-hs7vh My comment sounds a bit snarky, but I didn’t mean it that way. 😣

  • @clairescott9578
    @clairescott9578 Рік тому +48

    I have lived alone for near 10 years. I am so in love with it that I am legit worried that if and when I find a someone to share my life with, I won’t ever be able to adjust to living with them. But for now, living alone is my happy place.
    Ps. Loved this video. What a great topic. Thanks!

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +9

      I do also worry this sometimes 😅

    • @elizabeths.9692
      @elizabeths.9692 Рік тому +4

      @@Caroline_Winkler I worry about this too. I was married for many years and I have been divorced for a decade. With my children now mostly grown, I think about meeting someone, but I don't know if I could live with someone. I think the ideal situation would be to live right next door to each other, so you could visit anytime but go home.

    • @bpedi3
      @bpedi3 Рік тому +3

      @@elizabeths.9692 I’ve heard of married couples doing this, each person either has their own room with a separate bed or lives in an entirely different house.

    • @natashadavies9569
      @natashadavies9569 Рік тому +2

      ​@@bpedi3 My SO and I do this 😊

  • @QiyuLiu
    @QiyuLiu Рік тому +8

    As a 30-something who never lived alone until 4 years ago, this video speaks to me. I do miss having roommates, but there’s serenity in solitude.

  • @ben_6975
    @ben_6975 11 місяців тому +6

    You echo so many of my own thoughts and discoveries. One minor point to add about those transient and inevitable feelings of loneliness. I've found that it's much easier to tolerate feeling alone and living by yourself than feeling alone and having a partner/spouse/roommate that you aren't connecting with. Perhaps a little depressing but I think it explains a lot of how the desire for solitude can reinforce itself over time.

  • @KateCarew
    @KateCarew Рік тому +11

    I miss living alone 😂😫😂
    I grew up a very ONLY child and it’s extremely hard being around too much humanity.
    I suppose I always had a lot of critters…my parents were divorced and both overcompensated because they worked. A lot. Mom doctor father attorney, stepparents both PhDs.
    So I was just…alone. With horses and dogs and cats.
    That helped. A lot. Now I’ve got a kid who’s extremely clingy and a partner who thankfully isn’t one to push himself on me.
    They know I need my space, literally, I have a three car garage with a decent sized apartment over it and I hide a lot. They can visit but if the sign is hung it’s a no entry zone.
    I get to pretend I’m alone there.
    Why?
    To walk around naked
    To dance like a lunatic and sing badly…loudly.
    To create my little “artworks” out of sticks and mud.
    To process verbally. I need to talk to myself to get my thoughts straight and it’s hard to do with eyeballs around.
    They know it’s for my sanity and I think ALL people need a void in which they can enter to be free.
    Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely, but if it’s causing loneliness :(
    There are ways…make plans, talk on the phone, get out of the house, take classes…invite buddies over.
    When I was alone I always had little dinners for friends and family, no big shindigs just “hey, I’ve got too much meat please come eat it and we can play scrabble after”.
    Body pillows are nice if you don’t have a snuggle dog.
    Actually I never lived alone without a pet. I don’t think I’d do very well.
    Bird? Fish? Lots o plants?
    Needn’t be a fur bearing creature, a mammal if you will, but something that sees you and thinks “I know her!!” Something that moves around. I think there’s one thing that I both loved and hated about being alone, nothing was ever moved. Everything was just as I’d left it. Refreshing to not have a mess, sad to realize it’s just me.
    Also
    I think duplexes are perfect for marriage/cohabitation.
    My friend and her partner were totally not adapted to the way the other lived and it caused so much TENSION. That was all they fought about, but the list became interminable: temperature, maximalism vs minimalism, chores, colors, fabrics…as in he liked wool and down blankets and she just wanted a sheet. It became clear they couldn’t share a space without major compromise so I offhandedly suggested they move into one of the duplexes they owned and rented out.
    They did, twenty years later they say it saved their marriage and I swear by it.

  • @sofiazzz9829
    @sofiazzz9829 Рік тому +16

    I'm only 59 seconds in but I had to say something! That intro girl!!! You're one of the funniest most original people I (don't really) know

  • @ehovey32
    @ehovey32 Рік тому +5

    In those moments of coming home from a hard day or a great day, when you can't share or vent with someone at home. I talk to myself. "Honey, guess what happen today? I got that client!" I literally talk to myself, and it makes me laugh but it also feels good.

  • @arnettebowman6640
    @arnettebowman6640 11 місяців тому +4

    Another tip for you is to journal your good and bad days when you don’t have any one to share with and use it as if you’re talking to someone who is your best friend vent, or tell your deepest darkest secrets it really helps when you’re alone. I have found this helpful for me for years now. I’ve lost my journals when I was a single mom of my girls when they were little but I loved living alone.

  • @jesstina2932
    @jesstina2932 Рік тому +42

    i’m in this exact situation right now and my god, living alone has been an almost spiritual experience. i never decorated or put much effort into spaces that i shared with others, and once i got my own place after ending a 5 year relationship, suddenly i was ready to decorate. the way i’ve explained that to my friends is like….. you’re decorating all on your own, with no input from anyone else, it’s all YOU and it’s bringing your inner world into the physical reality. and you look around and like what you see, and realize that you like what’s inside your mind as well. it’s a physical expression of who you are…. idk man, very impactful ❤

  • @Alice_Walker
    @Alice_Walker Рік тому +16

    Iconic 👑
    I fkn LOVE living alone. A good tip I do is always have a "sick kit" pre prepared. I have a week's worth of paracetamol/cough mix/flu tablets/stock for soup/soft tissues/hydralite/dry biscuits in a box so if I get sick I can hole up without needing to get specific things from the chemist. All these things could be dropped off by a friend or delivered but it makes me feel like I'm taking good care of myself to have everything I need on hand.

  • @MikeCothran-mm3wp
    @MikeCothran-mm3wp Рік тому +3

    Ive been watching your videos for the last couple days and I don’t know why, but when you said GHOSTS I spit my food out across the room. I laughed for at least a minute while you continued but THIS IS ME. I check under my bed, my closets, my when I’m in the tub I keep the curtain open. And if I hear a noise at all anytime in the night
    I have to investigate.
    I love and hate at the same time living alone.
    Thank you for your videos.

  • @purplemulberry
    @purplemulberry Рік тому +96

    ok i've seen a lot of comments saying how your videos are giving hope to people, and i am one of them. i look forward to your videos every week. for someone in my 20s trying to figure out shit and change career paths, you inspire me so much. thank you, caroline. thank you!

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +34

      this is my favorite kind of comments. you truly made it so rewarding to make videos. Thanks for sharing this with me, and i am extremely touched that the videos feel valuable. life is constant transition, you got this 😘

    • @rhondamizuno8694
      @rhondamizuno8694 Рік тому +13

      I am in my 60s and I completely relate to all Caroline’s videos. Life is one giant transition and the sooner you learn to embrace it the better. Sadly, I’m just now figuring it out, and Caroline’s perspective has been so inspiring to me! 🥰 I finally feel seen.
      P.S. I’m a middle child 🤪

  • @irenegrijalvotarres
    @irenegrijalvotarres Рік тому +20

    Ok I literally just watched the first minute and this is already the best intro I've ever seen in my life

    • @y0utuberculosis
      @y0utuberculosis Рік тому

      100%

    • @irenegrijalvotarres
      @irenegrijalvotarres Рік тому

      @@y0utuberculosis I'm obsessed with your username, congratulations on your sense of humour. Spectacular.

  • @PaulaJoW
    @PaulaJoW Рік тому +3

    After a 20-year marriage, I love living on my own. I've always liked my own company, and I love doing whatever I want when I want.

  • @jennyoung586
    @jennyoung586 Рік тому

    I love this so much. I love YOU so much. Turning off the light and then booking it down the hall is relatable af. haha

  • @janbryant9879
    @janbryant9879 Рік тому +19

    I lived alone for 7 years and yes I did learn a lot about myself. The best thing i remember about living alone is that where ever I left something - that was where it was. After living with my husband and 3 children, what a change! I could find my scissors, my pen, there was still a soft drink in the fridge. Pure luxury!!!

    • @sherryg1838
      @sherryg1838 Рік тому +1

      My husband is the worst at taking my stuff lol.

  • @qrbitsart
    @qrbitsart Рік тому +55

    The relying on drip fed socialization from your roommates thing is so true. My biggest mistake in the past few years was following my close friends to room together in a city where I personally had no attachment to. I relied on them for all my socialization needs, and when one decided to move out, I realized I had nothing of my own here and had no idea how nor desire to start building my own life here. Looking back, this behavior seems pretty concerning but I really didn't notice at the time.
    I'm moving to a city of my own choosing in a few months, and I can't wait to start building real meaning & connections in my life. I'll still be living with friends though, as it's quite expensive living alone (perhaps this is another con you could have mentioned). But I hope I can still take the lessons from your vid to apply to my new venture & avoid making the same mistakes again. Thanks Caroline!

  • @alamedadanceparty
    @alamedadanceparty 8 місяців тому

    When I saw the title my response was, “It’s the best! It’s the best! It’s the best ever!!!” I don’t live alone now and I really miss it. Couldn’t be better.

  • @JennaHong
    @JennaHong Рік тому

    Just found you and this video has me CACKLING, love both your humor and also this amazing advice on living alone and sharing your experience ❤‍🔥

  • @ShayleneReynolds
    @ShayleneReynolds Рік тому +74

    I lived alone for almost 7 years and I LOVED it. I loved coming home knowing that there wouldn’t be any expectations on me and I could just decompress.
    Silence was definitely my favorite way to spend time at home haha

    • @leonore3349
      @leonore3349 Рік тому +1

      I hear you, that makes total sense, the problem is that I live alone and also work from home, so it can get heavy and too quiet.

  • @palomaj2678
    @palomaj2678 Рік тому +24

    Omg the garlic part killlllled me. But in all honesty, as a mid twenties woman living alone this was so so accurate and helpful. It also helps that I have a dog and he keeps me grounded and also forces me out of the house so I can’t go full hermit.
    Also, as a former true crime aficionado, I would recommend to women living alone to limit your watching/listening. I used to listen to it during my walks with my dog and was SO paranoid and couldn’t even relax on what was supposed to be a mental health walk. When I stopped listening and just kept it to music I was able to enjoy my environment so much more. I’m not saying cut it out, but don’t be the perpetrator of your own paranoia.

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +7

      Omg the garlic is a long story for another day…ikyk 😂

    • @zvezdoblyat
      @zvezdoblyat Рік тому +6

      @Caroline Winkler please don't forget to update us, I'm seriously so curious lmao

    • @poizonali
      @poizonali Рік тому

      Finally someone talking about this part 😂

  • @lindseybwriting
    @lindseybwriting Рік тому

    I've been binge watching your channel and this is the most insightful video so far. LOVVVVVVVE IT.

  • @kylerandall9141
    @kylerandall9141 Рік тому +21

    Related to the cleaning bit (and possibly the decorating bit), I found the best/worst part of living alone after living with other people is that you find out what your thresholds are for "mess." There are many kinds of mess. There's "clutter" (empty amazon boxes, junk mail), "gross" (dirty dishes in the sink, toilets that haven't been cleaned), "disorder" (clean clothes that haven't been put away), "entropy" (dust, leaves blown in near the door), and I'm sure many other categories I'm not thinking of, or different categories as to how you break that stuff down in your head.
    When you live with someone else, the fact that your threshold for acceptbable levels of a specific kind of "mess" (let's say "clutter" for example) is lower than the other person's can be a source of conflict, because you are bothered by the pile of empty amazon boxes but it doesn't bother them, so you're always taking care of it. When you live alone, the types of mess that don't bother you can build up without it starting a fight with someone. This is amazingly freeing. The downside of it is that you can let stuff go too long if your thresholds are super high and you never have anyone over to notice it (like if there's a pandemic and you are the only person in your house for 18 months).

    • @heidikamrath1951
      @heidikamrath1951 Рік тому +4

      You get me!!

    • @moonhunter9993
      @moonhunter9993 Рік тому +2

      yup... I now have to get rid off it. But it was also a matter of focusing on surviving and "chores" just didn't seem so important at the time.

  • @erica-jeneeheindselman3713
    @erica-jeneeheindselman3713 Рік тому +43

    As a 31-year-old middle child who LOVES living alone but is still DEATHLY afraid of the dark/ghosts, this is the most relatable video of yours I've watched so far. I laughed so hard! 🤣 And 100% agree with every sentiment 👏

  • @frenchfry14595
    @frenchfry14595 Рік тому

    I have only watched two of your videos and I already adore you! You deliver great content in a fun way and it's really quite delightful. Keep on doing what you do! Thanks a bunch!

  • @96llm
    @96llm 2 місяці тому

    I finally got to move into my own tiny studio, no more roommates or family, and I love it so fucking much. I love being alone. It's amazing.

  • @FCPA1997
    @FCPA1997 Рік тому +81

    I love living alone!! I’m
    Not a typical introvert but I relish not having answering to anyone and doing things on my own terms. It amazes me how many people are afraid of living by themselves. It really is the greatest way to learn about yourself.

    • @lydia4382
      @lydia4382 Рік тому +3

      Yes 🙌

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +13

      100% I think it's so intimidating to THINK about, but the reality of figuring it out each day is actually much easier, and so rewarding

    • @leonore3349
      @leonore3349 Рік тому +3

      I'm genuinely curious to know what that means. I don't feel like I learn anything about myself alone but in relationships with others.

    • @irhonda31
      @irhonda31 Рік тому +1

      @Laurett Gannon agree 💯!

    • @FCPA1997
      @FCPA1997 Рік тому

      @@leonore3349 living alone doesn’t mean that you don’t have relationships with others. I find that I’m better off in my relationships when I also have time and space to myself. It’s a balance for me. Otherwise it’s too much together time and I don’t enjoy it after a certain point. I’m also a middle child and grew up in chaos - I’m
      Not sure if that has anything to do with it.

  • @thesmileyeffect
    @thesmileyeffect Рік тому +25

    I genuinely love how bookish your sister is! I need to get her book!

  • @chrism9294
    @chrism9294 Рік тому

    This was spot on in so many ways. Checking every room when I get home, not playing music all the time, YouTubing how to fix something or enlisting help, being intentional with who I talk to, making time to clean the house, and etc. As for cooking for one, I half the recipes or I make food and send some to my parents or siblings (some times they send me food too). And safety, safety, safety!

  • @EngPresentationVideo
    @EngPresentationVideo 3 місяці тому

    I love the cosiness of your living room design! Just subscribed to see more inspirations for my newly build home!

  • @nooripuss1
    @nooripuss1 Рік тому +25

    Caroline, I agree with everything you have said about living alone, except feeling afraid. I have lived alone for 30 plus years, ever since I was divorced. I absolutely love it! I can revel in creating my own time and priorities. I can bask in my own preferences: bananas and peanut butter for dinner; eating anywhere in the house; reading for hours; vegan and gluten free food; wearing comfy silly clothes; affording special food for my cat; not watching the news; watching Sesame Street or anime instead; silence; in short living my best introvert life. My job involves a lot of intense contact with people, which I really enjoy, and I love seeing my friends and family members, but I like being alone just as much, maybe more. I have little routines I follow which are comforting like setting up the pillows on my bed in a certain way, making food for the week on the weekend, visiting a labyrinth and going to public gardens seasonally, having breakfast in bed every morning while playing Wordle and Spelling Bee. For some people, I think it is the best lifestyle choice.

    • @vaderladyl
      @vaderladyl Рік тому

      Yes I cannot relate to being afraid of the dark either. I actually embrace a darker house at night.

  • @bibacious
    @bibacious Рік тому +66

    I never ever comment (just a lurker who enjoys your content immensely) but came here to say that your sister's cameo was just a dee.light! So smart, literary and non-plussed in dropping such casual references as Sarte and Woolf. Looking forward to her book, as well.

    • @laurenpettifer2392
      @laurenpettifer2392 Рік тому +6

      Agreed!!

    • @dianalynn7957
      @dianalynn7957 Рік тому +1

      Her book?

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +4

      She is truly too sharp and well read for her own good! She’s one my biggest encouragers, and she is a complete idol to me❤️ so glad everyone got to experience a little bit of her!

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +4

      Here it is! We’re doing a live book club event on June 11, if you want to read it by then and join! Will either be on UA-cam live or Instragam live - I’ll share more details beforehand!
      www.simonandschuster.com/books/Shakespeare-Was-a-Woman-and-Other-Heresies/Elizabeth-Winkler/9781982171261?fbclid=PAAabYyaEcrDzW-SRRstolfFo57rlJWxrVbyeN_uApjMDkxZB8JqqMmE8B8QQ

    • @dianalynn7957
      @dianalynn7957 11 місяців тому

      @@Caroline_Winkler Are 11 June book club event details available? Two of us - in France - hope to join.

  • @aspenderosa222
    @aspenderosa222 Рік тому

    i absolutely love your mindset and vibes and account, thank you for your content🥰🫶

  • @janebendewald7365
    @janebendewald7365 Рік тому +4

    Please write a book! I stumbled on your channel for interior design, but you have so much more to offer humans!
    Thank you for being so raw and honest! Your life journey and the lessons you have learned are so invaluable! The humor you bring is so refreshing! ❤

  • @MeHere650
    @MeHere650 Рік тому +19

    Age 64 here. When I was younger I was so scared being alone. That goes away over time and I LOVE BEING ALONE. Married now, so it’s hard to be alone. I miss it.

  • @walterfoyt5985
    @walterfoyt5985 Рік тому +25

    I live alone and love it. I decorated my condo in my style and didn’t have to compromise. I’m a minimalist and I don’t like clutter so I don’t have to put up with someone making a mess. While I enjoy people and going out, I like my alone time. I can watch what I want on TV, listen to music when I want, and just do what I want. I live in a condo One thing I would recommend is getting remote for you shades so you don’t have to clime on a table to open them.

    • @cringirl
      @cringirl Рік тому +1

      Freedom plus courage equals hells to the yeah!

  • @Merthirteen1
    @Merthirteen1 Рік тому

    I’ve been binge watching your videos for a week now, and I think your takes on things are really interesting. I totally agree with the therapist that said your vision of breakups is the wisest she’s seen. I send the video to a friend who is currently struggling. Thanks for everything :)

  • @lisab9541
    @lisab9541 Рік тому +2

    My problem with the "man jobs" is I have physical and mobility difficulties. I bought a ladder I thought I'd like, but it still scares me without someone to hold it because I have balance problems. Some things I hire out like the mowing because my yard has steep hilly areas.

  • @ritarerrre2557
    @ritarerrre2557 Рік тому +70

    Hahaha.. Amazing intro ❤️

  • @nutsbutdum
    @nutsbutdum Рік тому +8

    Temporary boredom is preferable to living with someone and wishing you could be alone.

  • @user-sx4rf6tr5k
    @user-sx4rf6tr5k Рік тому

    I love your videos (rewatched the whole channel while you were on your recent break, holds up great, no notes!) and all the thoughtful comments with people's personal stories. BUT! i just came here to say that ever since you uploaded this video i sometimes randomly remember the way you say "british dollars" here and just laugh like a crazy person. Great timing, great delivery and such a perfect younger sibling moment!
    Also, while I'm already here and on the topic of siblings, I just have to say I love your dynamics with your brother and sisters. Especially that as a 30 year old eldest sister i know it can be tricky when you get older. And it's so nice that they let you share their work with us and you all are genuinely excited about one another's passions. I hope some day we can see more of Julia, or at least her art, if she's not that into youtube, because these couple of pieces of hers that you showed us last year are stunning.
    Can't wait to see what you're gonna come up with next, lots of love!

  • @gejalbuena
    @gejalbuena Рік тому +1

    Haaaa!! That intro! This video made me realize that I loved, designed, and cared for my living spaces the most during the times I was living alone. I also felt the most confident and the most fulfilled with life in general during those short stints that I now miss so much! THANK YOU for this video! It's helped me define my next short-term goal: to have my online shop support me enough to get my own apartment. I am craving that kind of room that lends to unfiltered expression, real personal growth, and character development!

  • @debbieyates29
    @debbieyates29 Рік тому +17

    I love living alone; but sometimes I feel like I shouldn't, like something is wrong with me. That feeling does not change the fact I need to be alone, silence is so golden. No drama, OMG, I hate drama. I have learned to do things myself & not depend upon other people to help, because let's face no one likes to. They do it out of some sort of obligation. Thanks for the video.

    • @Caroline_Winkler
      @Caroline_Winkler  Рік тому +5

      Nothing wrong with you. Sounds like you know yourself ❤

  • @Christie2878
    @Christie2878 Рік тому +15

    I have lived alone for almost 12 years and love it. Cooking for just myself still sucks but I bulk meal prep. Recently my Mum was rushed to hospital and ended up being in hospital for 23 days and my sister stayed with me for almost that whole time. As much as I love my sister I desperately wanted her to go home so I could have my space back. You have to learn to embrace the time and learn who you are. It’s the best time to learn about yourself.

  • @lucidmaya
    @lucidmaya Рік тому

    Yesssssssss to the insight around mins in- this is soooo true for me! Also I just sent the video to several friends insisting they at least watch the opening minute 🤣🤣🤣 I feel so understood!

  • @lichtderdunkelheit7837
    @lichtderdunkelheit7837 Рік тому +5

    In defense of the relationship i have with my roommate: I think it really depends who that person is and in what direction you let the relationship develop. I moved in with a friend of mine, because we were searching in a similiar area and since we live together our relationship got so much deeper. She is one of the closest person i have in my life while simultaniously there is never drama or expactation in the mix. We both moved out of our parentshome and are studying and I think living alone right of the bat woudnt have been good for me and way to overhelming. So having someone who is supporting me and who i support in that quest - being a team - is really helpful. Maybe i will live truly alone one day, but right now i coudnt think of a better living situation, then i have right now.

  • @morvanadawn
    @morvanadawn Рік тому +25

    I lived alone and worked from home for 8 years and the hardest times were when I was ill. With you on the silence thing, I crave silence all the time, it’s so wonderful.

    • @hi_im_angie
      @hi_im_angie Рік тому

      Same same! Lived alone, worked from home, and I agree, the hardest times were when I was sick. Otherwise I loved it.

  • @lyaysanrakhimova9175
    @lyaysanrakhimova9175 Рік тому +14

    After my breakup I started living alone for the first time in five years and it was terrifying. I usually liked being on my own, I liked silence, still I was very much uncomfortable without another person around. I would put some videos to have voices on the background and always turn the lights on in every room, even though I’m not usually afraid of darkness and I don’t think that there’s something there! Slowly I got used to it, but I still cannot stay in the darkness all the way and I leave some lights on, it is just my reality now. On the bright side I lost a lot of weight just because now I have to take care of my own meals only and it turns out I don’t need much (and it IS easy to eat healthy). Oh and also you can be as gross as you want in your appearance and behaviour 😂 I can’t even imagine living with somebody else right now.

  • @michaelshannon9169
    @michaelshannon9169 11 місяців тому

    I love your attitude, how you arrive at your conclusions, your charisma and energy, such an eclectic outlook on everything.

  • @nancylanderson8012
    @nancylanderson8012 9 місяців тому

    You were so spot-on with this video. I don't live alone but I have times when I'm alone and face that some of the time. Sometimes we are alone with an illness, or everyone is going somewhere except you or your friends are going out together, etc. What you described is universal at least part-time. I really enjoy your words of wisdom and your decorating. Your style really appeals to my decorating style. Thanks for sharing.

  • @virginiasmith2157
    @virginiasmith2157 Рік тому +7

    One minute in and you've secured legend status 👏

  • @antoniafoster8264
    @antoniafoster8264 Рік тому +7

    I love living alone too. My children are on their own and I’ve been married twice. I enjoy not feeling like I have to have dinner ready at a certain time, etc., feeling pressure to be a certain way. I come home and relax if I want, do whatever I feel like doing, not what I feel is expected of me. I read, spend time with my sweet dogs, cook, watch shows, spend time with friends & family, exercise, etc., whenever I want. It’s freeing and I’m very happy. 💝