My abuser(ex husband) abused me from day one after I married him & came to U.K. I’ve come from a middle class family. I’ve been to good school & colleges. Also, fluent in English. But this wasn’t enough for my abuser. He used to complain how I don’t speak in British accent. I don’t work hard in his family business & generate good profits for him. This man went to heights of abuse when I was expecting his child. That was it. I had to leave him. Since then I’m living my life in peace with my child.
You never please an abusive man, they will always find something else to use as a excuse to abuse, they are all Cowards. So glad you got away, your child will be greatly blessed to grow up with a mom that can now be healthy, strong and wise without a toxic home life. You are Beautiful!
Now how many women can you help sister? You are a brave warrior on the front lines of domestic violence awareness and support. Bless you! Be the light :)
I remember some years ago a girl who canceled her wedding because the dowry demands were becoming outrageous. It made international headline news. She was a strong independent Indian girl and her family backed her up. I hope this becomes a trend.
Anne Boleyn l would like to know about these demands. I imagine they increasingly escalated. They agree on something but the other party would come back and want something else or other
That's a big business in lot of countries, apparently selling a girl with money, money you have to pay to the buyer. It's a slavery in different form. Not only men are entirely responsible but also groom's mother & sisters are as well,another thing is social pressure. That's a very critical structure been nurturing for centuries. Sometime I wonder will it be abolished at all. Dowry, where human become a product.
I am from Northeast India (Meghalaya) and we practice matrilineal tradition wherein we do not have dowry. Post marriage a guy has to stay at a girl's house. Thanks to our Ancestors 💕
@@wabwobarolex6088 It was the culture in kerala too-I come from the same tradition.Unfortunately because of the invasions,the people are having a Mughal and colonial mindset and hence the dowry and patriarchial traditions came.Its heartbreaking too see those being adopted by people around me....
by that logic women going to the man's house should be called laziness as well, but its not, its called duty, just how it is, culture, ancient practice. Dont be stupid@@wabwobarolex6088
@@wabwobarolex6088 Nope. In Northeast India and even in minority groups of Bangladesh, the matriarchal system dictates everyone to work. It's not free food from in-laws. The men have to earn for the children and women earn for the household. It's an equal system. Only in patriarchal households, the in-laws won't let their live-in sons-in-law work because of so called honor.
@@wabwobarolex6088 What a nuts thing to say. Sounds like your perspectives are made from those damaging old traditional beliefs that caused this young woman's death.
not this culture. people are still brainwashed into thinking daughters are a burden i'm from a pakistani muslim background and even though Islam says women are just as important as men, sadly due to the cultures backwardness people still celebrate more and seem happier when a son is born but when a daughter is born they are like oh.... ok i guess. even in my family they are like this even though they call themselves modern!
ROBIN WILLIAMS MUST HAVE SPOKEN HIS HEART When he said ' I use to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. Its not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone
We r Indian , we say better a dead daughter then a living divorcee Don't hate me for this , I feel sorry for this + I m at the recieving end , m a woman!
What shocks me is that she's an Aerospace Engineer who worked for Boeing in the US and she was treated this way. She's an intelligent and courageous woman, and yet she's defined by the cowardice of her "husband." I'm stunned. They should be paying her!
How can this father excuse himself for not bringing his daughter home when he went to visit, he KNEW the danger she was in but note he is far more concerned about saving HIS reputation.
It is not such a small issue...marriage is something that is big and hasty decisions can really impact their lives and probably he hoped that they would settle and live a good life of understanding each other
Absolutely true his image and status was more important than his daughters well being he shd not be crying now when he had the chance to do right by his daughter he chose not to but instead he asked his son in-law to stay with his daughter wht kind of a father does that sad and pathetic is wht he is
That father saw how his daughter was suffering and still he forced her to stay with her abuser. He's responsible for her death. For all ladies never stay with an abusive huaband. Divorce is a good solution for such marriages.
I agree, every girl should be free to marry who SHE chooses to marry. Old backward religious dogmas should be discarded IF the girl's personal freedom is at stake. What her father thinks is not of importance, it's what the girl thinks for herself is important.
@@ColonelFluffles At least she would be alive, that’s far better then the alternative. Not to mention as an Australian citizen she potentially wouldn’t have to conform to her cultural standards and be socially punished for being single woman like back home, she had a great career, the woman had options. Also she’s was so beautiful, believe me, she could have found someone who actually deserved her and loved her if that monster didn’t kill her.
In my culture we have a "bride price" where we must pay the price to the parents of the bride...typically $5000 but can be more based on the purity of the girl and educational background
Moses Yang totally wrong. You should marry for love and build a live together, not rely on the bride s parents. If you live in western country abide by there customs.
I m glad that I rejected a person whose parents wants money for marriage. I literally told him that ur parents wants to sell u n m not ready to buy u..go sell urself in an open market.. now m lucky to have a beautiful partner in my life..
Yes that's how every man should react on such situation. Women are mentally stronger than men, they just need a someone to stand by them. They can change the world
Exactly, I've spent years of my life bringing up this gorgeous and smart woman so that an idiot could look down on her and abuse her?? OMG! The things I would do to him!
In the 1800's there was no letter J there was an I so basically lesus is Jesus so he will come in this name lesus and he will say I am not Jesus I'm his brother he is walking on Earth right now and he not a white man and what brought him out is the prayers of women and the children of the world and the mother earth will bless him first, you are blessed now because I shared this you Amen
How are the police not sure if the second guy killed his wife?? 😕😒 1)He was the only other person there with her. 2) She called the police just before, for help. 3) He's threatened to kill her multiple times. 4) He was physically, mentally, and verbally abusive. 5) She was about to divorce him So then why oh why, would she suddenly decide to set herself on fire, & then run outside? 💭😑😡
The hard part, as hard as it is to believe, fire is one of the things that hardest to prove who did it. There have been people who have set themselves on fire in protest and died. Though circumstantial evidence points to the husband being the perp, there would be need to be more proof than that because a good defense lawyer could easily claim that yes he was abusive and yes she felt threatened but while this might make the husband a terrible person what in fact happened was in her despair she set her self on fire in protest and to escape. It could create enough doubt to atleast result in a hung jury. Though I would like to think a good detective and forensic team could have atleast taken the husband in to detect if he had any traces of accelerants on his hands or clothes. Or had purchased the accelerant prior to the incident. At the very least I would think he would be charged with manslaughter though not sure how different AUS law is compared to the US.
In her fathers eyes- he was trying to save her from being shamed and ostracised by society.. the power of societal pressure is devastating. He paid the ultimate price for it.
I don't want to sound cold hearted but Indians should stop these arranged marriages stop making your girls to feel like a burden let people fall in love
Vannuge Jiiko Not all Indians have this practice.. in the North eastern states there is no dowry. In fact. The brides are given jewelry and gifts by their new families as to honor them..
At least he loved her. So many baby girls murdered or thrown away but he actually loved his daughter. He was worried for her future because of society and culture. He’s obviously broken from this
As a Parent I would rather be ridiculed in my community and laughed at and teased than to sell mu daughter off!! Too much pride!! all comes down to Perceptions of others taking precedence over the life of ones own children
Yep, seems that other's gossip is way more important than the daughter you've raised for all those years. Such is the pressure of cultural 'norms'. Makes the mind boggle!
I've been single for more then 10 yrs, after getting out of a abusive, controlling, jealousy relationship. I couldn't be happier being single. My choice of course.
No one is pointing the fact that MOST of this dowry related crimes and violence are perpetuated or inspired by the mother of the groom. Should we not then educate those mothers so that we can avoid tragedies like this? It's like the mother of the groom is taking revenge to the bride for the sufferings she experienced when she too was married off to an unknown man!
The mothers are very controlling and are very involved in their sons life. The sons pride somehow still rests with the mother, most men are not able to say no to their mothers, when they tell them to follow old traditions. A newly wed wife is literally alone in this situation.
“Pease don’t divorce her. Be together, stay together and be happy” how was that gonna happen if he straight out told the father he wants divorce?? The father failed his daughter, period!! The second story 😯
Shame on those parents who thinks saving marriage is more important then being happy or even though being abused also fine, what's wrong with the family. 😡
It's going on since ages. It became culture there. And if one person, parents raises voice and bring their daughter home, the whole relatives, friend circles start start talking bad about them. They starts losing family name, respect. They care about their honour more than anything.
@@lowboonkiat73 it's not Respect where is the Victims Respect " Respect is earned not given ' If you're a good parent you don't have to ask for Respect it will be given it's Control " But I know what you're talking about
@@lowboonkiat73 ancient tradition isn't the epitome of truth. In fact our ancestors didnt have quarter of the knowledge we have now. This is what you call ignorance and blind acceptance. No one with half a brain would practice problematic traditions aka ones that allow violence or other form of harm to another. India is known to be ahead in education since ancient times but how can an innocent tradition to gift their daughter become twisted over the years to become a gift to the husbands family? Wtf
Wake up, Australia! If these women were Australian women, you would be outraged, making all kinds of efforts, to provide safe havens for these women, and harsh punishments for their abusers. These women are human beings, and Australia is a modern, civilized country! There is no excuse for allowing these horrid atrocities, to continue! Shame, shame, shame on you!
Why parents feel the need to arrange marriage? So their child's life would reflect their own? "He lives in Australia and works in a bank. That's a good impression." Is that all it takes to give your daughter away? Sadly, there's nobody to blame but the parents. I bet if they have another child, they would still arrange another marriage. This tradition will still continue as long as society can not accept the fact that women can be single, happy and healthy. And "society" starts with each of us.
Fibbles G arranged marriage had nothing to do with what happened here. Arranged or not, if a man is not respectful to his wife and abuses her, the girl's parents should support the girl and get the couple divorced. I know ample happily married couple who had arranged marriage and ample broken marriages which were love marriages. Also, many single girls and boys who would be completely be ok with arranged marriage.
u understood it well bro ur totally correct, this law has ruined many husband and their family, this law is framed in assumption 80% cases are false and fabricated to trouble the husband and inlaws.
india is country of fake cases at current situation, laws are used , misued for settling scores. All gender laws designed on bias thought that women is always innocent and men and his family are considered main culprit. Indian Goverment made situation of men as third class citizen of country , in context of judicial issues. Goverment of india spending billion of doller on women empowerment and same educated womens are misusing laws for personal gains and money. It is sad situation for coutry like india where materlism engulfing family values , i think after a decade or mid of decade indian men and his family will completly stop marriage of his son. If you check sucides of married men in india , it will be eye opener for the reality of the men's situation in country.
@@anti1training so what's the point? Because the video is telling me women pay men large sum of money to marry them. 🤷♀️ So please educate me what other point is there.
@@anti1training in Africa a man save up to marry a woman because she is going to give him a new generation, be his support in life, love and take care of him and his children.
@@segarinnajohnson4092 The point is about the death that dowries bring. The problem isn't who gives who money. Either way, greed and social status contributes to these tragedies.
Somehow, I don't understand why the father didn't bring her home, when he had the opportunity to. He talked about the disgrace of divorce......now she is gone. Sad.
Thi Huynh if you don’t understand a social setup you can’t be able to understand fathers decision, one marriage means one husband till death No rights of divorce, personality abuse and family abuse A women carry lot of baggage on the shoulders of a girl
Dowry is illegal in India. When someone asks for dowry or “gifts” that itself should be a red flag. Parents that agree to pay dowry are also equally at fault for the fate being met by their daughters. Unfortunately they only come to the realisation when it’s too late and that is a shame.
I got phone call that your daughter is no more. but at least she's not divorced right? why else would u tell your daughter to stay with an abusive husband
Right? Your daughter has been murdered by the man you pandered her out to. But hey...at least you didn't suffer the shame and dishonor of a divorce and/or failed marriage. At least now she'll never be able to let you down, eh pops?
I never understood why the girl had to pay for the man. After all she's really the price he is getting a beautiful bride who will take care of him and one day give him kids like wtf? He should be made to pay not the girl!
Sandra Jefferson . Yeah in Islam the groom has to pay the bride not the bride's family. Unfortunately in many places in India the guy gets paid by the bride and her family.
In the old days, a father gave his wealth to his children in two ways: to his sons, the land and estates that were to be equally distributed among all the male heirs (unlike the English system where it was only passed on to the eldest male heir) and to his daughters he gave his wealth either in the form of liquid cash or gold i.e. a dowry. A dowry, therefore was a daughter's inheritance. And a man was considered a weak provider if he touched his wife's gold or money because that was messing with her financial security. However, this has been twisted by sad pathetic people like the one in the video to harass and swindle good women. In India, no man who really considers himself a man would touch his wife's inherited wealth. EVER. These are extreme cases of arseholes. They exist in all societies.
Anu Kal Sorry, but this issue is quite common in India where the groom's actual family expect dowry and gifts from the bride's family. They force the bride to be their slave and worker often living with the in-laws to work and care for them as if they own her. Especially within Hindu culture.
Summerbreeze it is quite common in India. I'm not denying that. But that's because abuse is common. The difference between what you're saying and what I'm saying is that this is not considered as a morally acceptable thing. No man who considers himself a provider and and who is respectable would do this. It's not a cultural thing, it's a societal problem. Do you have any idea the kind of cultural respect that is given to a woman? It is immense. But that has been twisted by society to enslave her. You get what I'm saying right? It's like in the West.. Where women face so much societal pressure to look good that they inject poison and go under surgery to make themselves into a picture of beauty. That's because they feel they are valued more of they are pretty. But that is not the official culture. You get me? The ones in this video are extreme cases. That doesn't mean those cases are not common. So when you say 'Hindu, culture' you are not entirely accurate. Again, such arseholes exist in all societies. For instance the highest rate of pedophilia among racial groups is found to be among Caucasian men. They are by far the largest number of customers involved in sex tourism where underage girls are exploited in countries like Philippines. Now, don't get me wrong, sexual slavery is present in India too. But by and large, it's with mature women. Again, that's not to say children are not involved, I'm saying taking into account population size and prevalence in percentage points, by far the highest rate of pedophilia is among Caucasian men. That's not a reflection of your culture, now is it?
During my sister wedding i have seen her in-laws Fighting / bargaining for $700 more like purchasing vegetables from local market.. In my village farmers have to sell off their land to fulfil demands of bridegrooms family... Dowry is Prohibited in Our country by legal means but silently 99.99% people practice it... 😞
I mean yeah! most peoples do! No matter educated or non-educated! Also, Even brides look for rich groom! I can say, dowry is more common though other way around is also popular!
@THE ZOLDICS free , how can say that a woman lives free in her husband, a woman do all household work ,look after children, how can say that...? ur mother live free in father hpuse?
@@satyendrsingh6071 This is a pure hindu vision of women. In islam its the opposite husband must honnor his wife and give her jewelry and clothes and pay for every thing .
Why are there so many spousal murders in the Sikh community? When I was younger in the 80s, I was in love with a Punjabi girl. We liked each other very much and there was so much romance in our relationship. We knew each other from secondary school in a City in Malaysia and it was mutual attraction. After my STPM, I went over to Singapore for work, we kept in touch and we were very much in love. We had been together for almost 5 years by then. When I asked her parents for her, they refused and said that they'll only get her married to a Punjabi guy. I begged her parents, begged her family and finally begged her to leave her family and come to me. She refused and said that she will never hurt her family for anyone. I went through an emotional crisis. I had my whole life planned with her and for her. The fact that we will never be together, broke me apart and I could not imagine her living with someone else and bearing him children. I could not imagine another man touching her. She was my dream. She was my princess from the Fairy Tales. My GOD .. she was so beautiful and she was supposed to be mine. The thought of losing her destroyed me. They got her married to a Punjabi guy. We lost touch for many years and those days in the 90s, there was no Facebook and there was no social media. While it was difficult as I was still in love with her, my parents convinced me to marry a girl of their choice. The last I heard about my ex girlfriend was that she had divorced. She separated from her husband due to family conflicts it seems. Her husband was a business man from India and I am not sure what prompted the separation. If she had married me, I would have taken good care of her, I would have ensured her happiness. While I did get married and have been faithful to my wife of 25 years, the pain of my break up with my ex-GF and the memories I had with her still linger deep in my heart. I know that there is still a part of me that loves her. She was my 1st love and she was my celebration. A celebration that ended but still remain in my heart. A celebration that will never cease no matter what, a celebration that will be celebrated for eternity.
That lady psychiatrist lay a lot of blame and responsibility on Australia’s door, but it’s really a result of a deep rooted misogynistic Indian culture. Even India doesn’t have a handle on this, so how can a foreign government?
@@aleekaamor9097 What then is the proper word? It is part of the Indian culture and the mores of that society. It may not be written down, but it is part of the expectations of that society and that is a part of culture.
My ex fiance and his family were asking for dowry and comparing with my aunt's dowry and we refused and broke up.i would never ever agree with dowry.if that man is not capable enough to make money for himself then why should marry to that looser
Very smart girl. Go another step and forget marriage altogether. Invest in you, education, job, hobbies...that culture is medieval and predatory on women. Open your eyes wide open.
@being human One of the big glamourized fantasies of humans is that all parents want the best for their kids. It's simply not true! Sorry to burst the pink bubble. History showed countless times that parents sell their kids for eveything under the sun that gives themselves advantage; money , prestige, fame, personal hapiness, using the ancient tactic called FOG (fear, obligation, guilt). Many even today prefer to marry their daughters to rich families which kill them, just to be well accepted and envied by the comunity. They use the powerless and naive youths for personal gain taking advantage of them and when things go awry the majority categorically refuse any blame. Remember, independently if it is you or others that make decisions over your own life , the consequences will fall on your head. Carve your own path. It's you who get to make your big personal life decisions. Probably your mum doesn't want to let go of control over your life. Tell her off. Or even better, tell her she's right and do your own thing on your terms without anyone know it, stop telling her your "stupid fantasies". Be strong, be careful and meticulous about your decisions, set plans in motion and set free. You're capable, good luck.
If a man demanded money/gold to marry me, my dad would laugh in his face and tell him to get a job. I suppose it's tradition. India It's time to evolve.
People who have everything, and are socially and economically doing well demands the most... Even lakshmi mittal an indian business tycoon gave each visitor a car as a gift.. This is deep rooted evil.. Its the family that pushes it... 😣😣
Dowry is not compulsory. Traditionally a parents give to their daughter will start new life. Old time actually mens are bring dowry. 20th century people suffering with this dowry. So many girls are hard time to get marriage. Still going on...
I have two older brothers. One of my brother recently got engaged and my father refused for dowry which made me feel that things are changing in better way 😀.
If a man demanded money/gold to marry me, my dad would laugh in his face and tell him to get a job. I suppose it's tradition. India It's time to evolve.
Deepshika's Dad didn't love his daughter enough, if someone tells me that they don't want my daughter, i will be the one going to that house and pack all her stuff myself to hell with honour, my babies comes first and it ends like that.....
I feel that the families have to stop allowing what others think and protect their daughters. How these women are viewed as failures because the marriage didn't work out. Not just in India but globally. Women are not a burden or property
Surely the police should have followed the abuse claims more. The father’s love extended only to the honour of the family NOT his daughter. His pain and anguish, not hers 🥺😡
The families of these women need to take responsibility for NOT taking action. They sit on their hands for months knowing something is wrong. Hoping that things would magically work out.
There's one thing I fail to understand here about her dad.... Surely if your child comes to you and says her husband is being abusive YOU DON'T SEND HER BACK to get abused more! -_- if you go to your parents with a problem, especially one this severe, they should help or in the least take care of you and not make you suffer further.
brayo144 exactly ! I felt really sad for the dad . Poor man he lost his daughter but he made a major mistake by sending her back and asking him to stay. The problem is the shitty culture in India where people just like to bury their problems and pretend like all is good and this is why he send her back .
Areefa Khan may b u dont knw evn if girl is protected from death point but shes told to go back to inlaws its not just astory it fact.so lots of girls dont coup with parents.thr lifes r lik hell.this clip hav brought out true stroys but still girls hide from puplic police the dont make shows
How do you know he himself didn't abuse hiw own wife? It's such a prevalent custom that they are havinghard time getting rid of it in the year 2015! How do you know everyone in Indian wasn't following it vigorously even 20 years ago?
The sad thing about this whole thing is that in Deepshika's case, her family would've STILL left her with him, so long as he didn't actually kill her literally, but just abused her. As long as she was alive, she would have to stay with. They would've probably disowned her if she had managed to successfully divorce him or worse still convinced her to go back. As much as they tried to save face by leaving her with someone abusive, her death did nothing from saving them from "shame" either, because the same people they were trying to save face from are the same people who will shame you for raising a daughter who couldn't keep a happy home. They are more saddened by the loss of that animal's life than they are about her life and blame her for her own murder. Where is your honour now?Humans never learn. They do what they want and ignore red flags hoping it will all somehow fix itself, only to then have all the regret in the world when shit hits the fan. Fix it people.
Yeah I thought the same thing but you know what, now sadly he can tend to her grave/shrine for the rest of his life. But hey at least her reputation remained intact and untarnished to the end.
In most of the cases, none of these parents deserve a girl. I know this to my core, that if these girls asked their parents to marry her off to someone of her own choice, these same people would shame these girls. They'd rather marry her to someone on the word of someone else who doesn't know the first thing about the guy or the girl. With the web of lies too good to be true, the guy would be portrayed as the nicest being on the earth, who doesn't have a bad habit, is educated this and that. The girl would always be portrayed someone who would chauffer her husband and oblige to him as it's her duty. Even when the girls start to speak up, these parents are the first one to leave her to die. First they push her into the pit, then make sure to tell her that it's her duty to be there. How sad it is that it takes death of their childern to make them actually regret this decision. High time that fathers to teach their daughters to be strong and mothers to teach their sons to respect women.
Jacqueline Larsen By the time woman hit their adult they must have changed 4-5 guys in life and still thousands women remain single n keep sleeping around under the excuse of new relationships Specially we noticed this in white womens or western culture
I’m an indian (Sikh) and on my marriage my in laws never asked a single penny from my parents. Lucky me! And where I come from these norms are changing fortunately
Same for me. In my region some people started this trend where girls parents refused to marry to a person who demand dowry even they spread these words within social circle like this boy family is not good as they are asking for dowry. So it is like shaming them so it would hard for them to find girl . If person ask dowry on marriage day then they will cancel it and involve local newspaper and police.
@@shonamanju1244 and of girls parents asking for money from men, what you say we should involve police and newspaper, like any financial help should not be asked from men.
My guess is a part of it was that he was a resident (or citizen) of Australia. They want one of their family members to get married, go there, get citizenship, then help the rest immigrate. So they pay the man to marry her, but I guess it wasn't enough for him.
@@nasimasultana6923 murtaza hassan Islamic marriage is a prostitution and a sexual slavery contract where the guy buys women, enslaves them and humiliates them. In hinduism, dowry is the girl's share of her father's property. Marriage is considered sacred. The concept of dowry changed because of poverty arising from Islamic and British invasions of India.
Arrest this old man first. He deserves it before arresting her husband. People fail to understand "A divorced daughter is far better than a dead daughter"
I don't get this whole dowry system. If a guy wants to marry a girl and if he's into her then why would he demand that her family pay him to marry her? That's like me going to a store, seeing something I like and demanding the store to pay me to take that thing.
Its for men who are successful. No bum off the street is going to ask for a dowry and succeed. Indians understand that australia is a good country which can provide a better future for their kids so marrying their daughter to a guy who has a decent job etc seems like a good idea. In their culture the man is number 1 marriage wise while in western countries women are.
Traditionally the man is the moneymaker, so the wife will be a financial liability, so payments are made by the family for him to take care of her financially
Or his 'degrees' ratta marke koi bhi pass hosakta hai, but academic achievements doesnt mean the man/woman is of good character or nature and this something that brown parents in not only India but also Bangladesh need to understand, All sound Asia to be honest.
india is country of fake cases at current situation, laws are used , misued for settling scores. All gender laws designed on bias thought that women is always innocent and men and his family are considered main culprit. Indian Goverment made situation of men as third class citizen of country , in context of judicial issues. Goverment of india spending billion of doller on women empowerment and same educated womens are misusing laws for personal gains and money. It is sad situation for coutry like india where materlism engulfing family values , i think after a decade or mid of decade indian men and his family will completly stop marriage of his son. If you check sucides of married men in india , it will be eye opener for the reality of the men's situation in country.
The only drowry i and my parents asked from my in laws is blessings... I just cant imagine more big than blessings. Material things doesnt bring happiness... Blessings from elders do bring....
Simon Kefas even in love marriage dowry is taken, generally it is lesser money because groom family still want dowry even if the couple love each other. But dowry is not universal truth their are marriages where their is no dowry involved
JimboParadox That is not true because the men always own the homes so women would have to leave. But I would rather my husband runs off than milk me out of my money that I could use for my children. These women are battered to the extent that they can barely ran, we rarely see that in Africa, rarely. They literally wait for their death. SAD.
Who gave you that Idea idiot, Arranged marriages are just like online dating except your parents are involved in it, we have matrimony website for people to match their partner and parents guide their children when choosing a partner.
i don't think dowry matters ultimately, these men are totally psychotic... abusive and controlling... no mater what amt. is given, these men are insane and sick
11thirtynine i would like to see the father in jail : for offering dowry, acting like an ostrich while his daughter went through hell and crying crocodile tears after she is dead.
In Nigeria we do have dowry but we called it “Bride Price”, the man have to pay lump sum to the bride’s family as a traditional compensation that the mother lose her daughter to inlaw family. Rarely to hear in the social media - no killing or fighting each other between the Nigerian bride’s family and In-laws.
@SVijay-st9chand its not forced. If you cant pay up, you dont get married, period. Thats why sometimes families put money together so their son can get a wife.
don't understand the dad begging the husband not to divorce his daughter when he said he didn't want her and wanted more dowry blah blah. if my husband said that my dad would take me straight home and get a lawyer for me to divorce. he'd spit in anyone's face who treated me like that. Dunno how they put 'honour' before their own childs welfare. disgusting.
Serena unfortunately in traditional North Indian families once you're married, you can't come back home to your parents. Once you're married you're part of your husbands family and not welcome home. It's like the parents responsibility is done.
Sueloveschoc but why raise a daughter for 25 years and love and educate her only to send her off to a husband who treats her like dirt? how can parents do that? my parents would have too much pride to have a husband marry me only to get money and dowry for me. if a man didn't want me and was threatening divorce I know my parents would tell him to f**k off and help me to come home. where is their dignity in allowing someone to walk all over their daughter? I just don't get it.
there is a thing called societial respect or something like that or may be family pride or dignity because of that he don't want him to divorce her,because if he do most of the people think that girl must be bad because most of guys don't divorce their wives over dowry thing but instead they do it when their relationship is not going the right way .If he divorce her it makes her labeled as a bad wive and then mostly people avoid marrying such girls.i hope u get it now.
Serena, you will NEVER understand that, because you're NOT Indian or Pakistani.... In Western culture, divorce is like "HI"! But in some countries divorces is simply NO!!! The divorced women are treated like they don't worth nothing and no one respects them in the community.
kuch khas Nahi ha bas gee raha hain, Well said. I understand that well. My mom NEVER divorced my dad, coz 1.She didn't want to hurt her family and 2.She didn't want to be a divorcee = bad/ easy woman in society. They are still together and their marriage is much better. I'm so proud of my mother !!! BTW, I'm from Balkan - Macedonia! Peace =)
It’s very sad that parents of any girl educated or uneducated underestimate women and their rights. The society and up bringing are to blame. RIP to the souls lost and the accused should be punished to death either husband or his family who tortured.
i blame the parents too. Indian parents, especially Punjabis, get their daughters married off too just about anything! If the groom is from abroad even if he is twice her age or even a pensioner they will get their daughter married off to him simply so she will go abroad and start sending them money back! there is this 50+ man who lives down my road who went back to india and got married to a 25 year old punjabi girl! she's coming to the UK soon. I blame the parents tbh secondly these dowry cases are a lot more high in places like Australia compered to the UK because the Indian community in Australia is relativity new and recent. The first mass arrival of Indians in the UK was back in the 60s and 70s since then things have changed and dowry doesn't really exist . In Australia most the Indians there are recent so these practices will be common! perhaps in a decade or two things will change, hopefully
More common in Bangladesh amongst the peasant classes, old men who live in the West can easily get a young bride. Saw it happening when i worked for 26 years in Tower Hamlets in Social Housing.
bruhh it's sad these guys "sikh punjabi" need more time in gurudwara lol like an hr class of rules before marriage to tell what is acceptable and not. 1. women rights = men rights 2. no dowry 3. etc... They make all of us look bad and backwards
Well, I can agree to most of your statement. But I've to disagree when it comes to "age gap", because real love is ageless and timeless. The biological "age" is just a number on a piece of paper; called "birth certification". Your biological age can be different, while your mental age is quite similar. The advantage of youth can fit very good to the advantage of life experience. Being against an age gap, is just judgementality based on western moral (what is just an artificial construct of the society). And therefore: No matter how young or old, and no matter where you're from, no matter what culture or religion ... NOBODY should be forced into a marriage against his/her will!!!
I had an Indian BF before and when the time we wanted to get married...he had to call his father asking for permission...first question his father asked was " if I'm rich or poor" 😮....then I've told him to tell his father that I will pay you with a bunch of 🍌 banana 🍌
Even if its false made up story, I'd just believe it. Coz why not? Feminism is on the rise and bashing males for absolutely no reason is just fine. Also, I'd like you all to visit Indian wedding and see yourself how many take or give dowry nowadays. Generalizing on anecdotes like these would definitely create a negative impression (which i hardly care about). ✌️
@@Crymeareva I don't ask you to believe in my story 😊 I just shared my experience. Well... I have many stories about Indian marriages from my Indian friend itself...so I better listen from them.
Australia should deport the family who burnt this young woman to death over greed of money & dowry payments by her husband & his family .put them in prison in india
Strange, his daughter wanted to leave the marriage many times and the parents kept pushing her back. When she’s gone, they blamed the authorities instead of his son in law.
Hilai Karim I cant feel sorry for him, even if initially he thought he was doing what was best for his daughter, he should never of begged the man that was abusing his daughter to “keep” her...he had a chance to save her his tears will not bring her back, may she RIP
sathya priya , same with Pakistan. I know a few girls who grew up in the USA and go overseas for a arranged marriages. They end up going there because of cultural pressure about age and marriage.
Same! Went to India for two weeks and the entire time I was made to feel like I have committed a sin by being so 'old' and unmarried. I will marry when I choose to and to whom I choose. Done with this cultural baggage.
My daughter knows an indian guy who's a drug addict and his parents let him get away with everything. He just entered an arrange marriage. The bride's family just gave him a brand new car as part of the dowry. Poor girl, hell awaits her with that drug addict.
Why don’t you anonymously send her a message or letter? You know important information, why not save that woman’s life? You will be a better person for it.
@@kumudamulgund7316 I do and i am a CSE engineer from a tier 1 college in india. You just have to wait and choose the right and avoid idiots who demand dowry. India is changing these days all you have to do is find someone who's not always a mama's boy and that could only happen if arranged or love marriages both are organised by consent of two rather than their whole families.
It's their fanatical devotion to their religion that maintains total control of their women. And yes, they are bastards who think they can get away with anything.
Conni, not everyone is the same. I respect your point but generalizing entire India is totally being wrong. Until and unless you have actually faced the situation you won’t understand anything. It’s easy to judge.
"unless I have actually faced the situation:" Exactly what good would that do? And do you agree that India is the rape capital of the world? A young girl was brutally gang raped on a bus, violated in every way imaginable and left for dead and she died of her injuries. Indian women were outraged that this happened and carried out protests. INDIA IS ONE OF THE MOST UNSAFEST PLACE FOR A WOMAN because of the ignorant violent men who are allowed to get away with this behavior time and time again.
Conni Lane ugh. I am Indian. I know what goes on and why things are so much exaggerated. I totally empathize with the nirbhaya gang rape in Delhi. But every single person knows it’s unsafe to travel late nights where ever you stay. Being a woman, I know what the rape victim has gone through, no person ever should go through the horror and pain she has dealt with. And conni, I know where my country lacks behind but generalizing it is immensely wrong on your part. You see what’s shown u on the tv and media channels. Do you even know how many people are actually living their lives happily in India ? If India is the most unsafe place for woman, what do u think about the war countries then? According to you Raqqa must a heaven to stay, do your research first, no country I repeat no country is unsafe. It’s because of some monsters who ruin the image for an entire country. Rape is something which is extremely sensitive, can happen anywhere. You can’t blame the country. And in my country, you will always be treated with respect and honour. Lots of people from different countries visit India. I won’t deny our culture is different than yours. But calling it a rape capital and demeaning India isn’t okay. Unless you try to understand the cause of the problem, don’t carry tales along with you.
Poor families im so sorry for everything that theyve gone through and im sorry for their loss and i pray that god helps the families through these horrible tragedies and i hope the girls are at peace now in heaven
Let us say: Must have been an a**hole. Stupidity is international. Don't blame countries or nationalities, and don't blame men in general. I'm a German. I'm white. I'm old. I'm a man. - The worst case when it comes to judgementality ... lol.
So what ? Did she made it ?...So..they should start to move soon as possible after giving birth , no animal lays down 3 weeks after giving birth...just human females try to get a pass on everything....still no reason to kill them ...just saying !
@@jellyrun1 wow, you need to learn a lot more about biology. Women are still physically recovering from child birth at 3 weeks. Plus, they're taking care of a newborn baby and any other children they may have. That is an incredible amount of work. Far more work than any job I've ever had, all day and night, while still having many physical difficulties from giving birth and other postpartum physical issues. You are simply ignorant. I doubt you will ever work as hard in your life as a mother.
Amy Hassan Are you backward? In Australian she could live in a shelter until they got housing for her. Women here are not reliant on a man to provide for them. She would be educated and able to get child care to assist her. I brought my house after divorce, no ,an has ever taken care of me. Put on your big girl pants and grow up. Seriously, I do not understand women who don't want to be independent. If the marriage is good you have double success, if not you can move on independently
Well, if you listened, you could hier that the daughter asked the police to drop the charges. And at the end she divorced. She visited her husband to pick up her daughter. What should the father do inb this case from India? Stupid commenter.
How does someone watch this and come to such an irrational conclusion?? I mean, did we even hear the same story? Your comment is literally just cruel and not even close to true. What I saw was a man that *clearly* loves his daughter and had her best interests at heart. But after such a remark, I wouldn't be surprised if you were the one with the love-less Father.
@@avamasquerade it's true though. The father knew the guy was abusive and wanted to leave her. Instead of protecting his daughter he was protecting his honour. The father was saying stupid things like where will she go? Where will she live? She is a qualified physiotherapist. she was fully capable of living by herself. Yet the father didn't want the stigma and let her stay in a miserable marriage and die.
@Raghunath Reddy men have no shame demanding dowry from wives. wives are to be cared for, they bear your children and caretaker of your families they are not to be milked for materials. what a retarded culture yu indians abide by. so very backwards from the rest of the world who respect women.
My dad is Indian, and he knew a couple who married off their daughter. Mom didn't want to, since we live in a modern country, but the father insisted. She got married and got physically abused by her husband, endured it for many years for "honour", but eventually she got a divorce when it got too much. By then, her father had already passed so she moved back in with her mom in her 40s, and is still there to this day. My dad broke tradition by marrying a Chinese woman, and eventually my extended family opened their minds and hearts stemming from his decision. Now half my cousins are married to non-Indians and we are so culturally diverse. At one of their weddings, the emcee joked about how half the people sitting at the family tables weren't even Indian. And you know what? I think it's beautiful to marry for love.
So very sad for all involved. I hope that by sharing this video in Australia we can recognise a form of abuse within a tradition most of us aren't aware of. My heart breaks for any women or person thinking their worth is only recognised through material gifts.
LoveYourNeighbors Dowry is GIVEN by girls' families, as their part of a family inheritance they will not receive once they marry. once they marry, they are NOT entitled to more money/property from their birth families, they become part of their marriage families.
girls aren’t greedy, if you’d know it was an ARRANGED MARRIAGE. A girl’s opinion isn’t taken into consideration. It’s not their choice. Hope you understand the seriousness here rather pulling other human down by counter questioning. 🙏🏻
@@dreampinkbubbles then why do parents of girls consider the earning potential of the guy and his assets as a criteria for marrying off their daughter? The truth is no one falls in love with a poor guy.
I have never heard a dowry-related death among the more than 1 million Indian community in Malaysia, be it among the rich, middle-class or the poor in my entire life. Bravo to the Malaysians!
Daniel Palmieri - Why are you being a bully? It sounds like Sunil Kumar is against this practice. Good for him! If only all Indian men had that attitude!
Deepshikha's death is a result of the inability of The Melbourne Police Department of prosecute a perpetrator of domestic abuse. The dowry part was just his "motiviation", it should have nothing to do with how they protect victims of domestic abuse. Would this be different if a white person had gone and told the police that they were being abused. What does the "motivation for abuse" have anything to do with how its handled by the police and their "inability to understand the concept of dowry". The truth is that Australian authorities look at crimes in the minority communities as a "them" problem. Dowry is deplorable and unacceptable. But domestic abuse should be prosecuted irrespective of dowry or none.
I just hope that the Australian Police have learnt from this tragedy ??? In a way this is their fault too, they should have taken this more seriously... If there was a language barrier then they should have employed an interpreter, no excuse for this, too late now, but I hope they have learnt from this tragedy !!!! I am embarassed by this ignorance
This is somewhat true but is it really reasonable to blame the police regardless of the institution of paying complete strangers to marry, and immediately procreating with them, in a financial transaction?
Sugandha Gupta, Unfortunately in this situation, like the majority of domestic abuse cases, she refused to press charges and withdrew her complaints. I am not familiar with the fine details of Australian law pertaining to domestic violence, but from this documentary, it seems similar to that of the United States. Here, in order for an order of protection/restraining order to be granted, there has to be documentation of abuse and/or harassment. Then the police must be notified whenever the order is violated, which may include phone calls, email, coming within a certain vicinity, etc. Then the abuser would be prosecuted for violating said order. The idea is to have the abuser apprehended for violating the restraining orders before he causes physical bodily harm. It is a flawed system though, and it isn't easy for the victim. Many women, not just the woman here, do not report even the physical violence, let alone pursue a restraining order. Especially so in cultures where not obeying one's husband, separation, and/or divorce is seriously looked down upon and thought to bring shame and dishonor to one's family. A lot of times when a woman is beaten by her husband a neighbor hearing the commotion may call the police or the victim may herself. But when the police arrive and the situation starts to calm down a bit, the victim more often than not will withdraw her desire to press charges. It is mostly out of fear. Here there are special units within the police department dedicated solely to domestic violence victims. They are given the tools to get out, including womens shelter information, support groups, information for organizations that can help them financially, etc. The way the law works though, is that it needs the victim to be willing to press charges and testify. Not being Australian, I cannot comment on race being or not being an issue when it comes to prosecution. However, the way that I understood the "inability to understand the concept of dowry" is simply that. As someone who comes from a culture that doesn't have dowries, what I picture when I hear "dowry" is a gift that the parents of one partner in a marriage give to the parents of the other partner in the marriage as a wedding gift. The thought of violence, or the potential of violence wouldn't pop up as a red flag because I never would have associated the two. Unfortunately there was a lot of miscommunication and under communication in this situation and the seriousness of the situation had failed to have been realized. Now, of course I may be wrong, but as someone who also isn't familiar with dowries, I do not think that this was deliberate discarding of pertinent information. Based solely on what I have seen in this documentary, I think it was a very unfortunate mistake. I do hope that now this department and other departments in the area are now aware of this case and the seriousness of cases like it so that this situation never happens to another woman again.
dowry marriage is only for arrange marriages in india.. love marriages dont really have dowry.. but sometimes the girls familys rich they give the dowry out of cultural belief so that their daughter is beyond them and not to be taken as a slave to their family... thats the pricipal u dumbass people dont get.... you just take and divorce over your petty ego... but indians hold on till the last bit where they have to sacrifice everything to divorce, theres no such thing as ego or pride in an indian marriage... get ur facts right before you dumb fukers judge
its actualy an old tradition summerbreeze... usualy doesnt happen in love marriages.. and i agree as a man u should be the man to take care of the family... i am sri lankan we had these issues a while back but everyone is getting educated slowly.. just gotta wait for those old people to die out so the new generation doesnt have the same mentality
Black Tiger yeah right the new generation isn't much different with the exception of few. They're all groomed from a very young age to act and think a certain way.
My abuser(ex husband) abused me from day one after I married him & came to U.K.
I’ve come from a middle class family. I’ve been to good school & colleges. Also, fluent in English. But this wasn’t enough for my abuser. He used to complain how I don’t speak in British accent. I don’t work hard in his family business & generate good profits for him. This man went to heights of abuse when I was expecting his child. That was it. I had to leave him. Since then I’m living my life in peace with my child.
Wow. You're a hero. 💙
So happy for you❤️❤️❤️❤️
Glad that you finally left that abuser. More courage to you and your child.
You never please an abusive man, they will always find something else to use as a excuse to abuse, they are all Cowards. So glad you got away, your child will be greatly blessed to grow up with a mom that can now be healthy, strong and wise without a toxic home life. You are Beautiful!
Now how many women can you help sister? You are a brave warrior on the front lines of domestic violence awareness and support. Bless you! Be the light :)
If your "honor" is more important than your daughter's well-being, you have no honor.
they just have thick egos..
that's it!
How can they when they got taped by britian...
He really could have saved his daughter but vanity was more important.
And you've failed as a parent. who chooses honor over their own childs wellbeing. you think people would have their own mind but sadly no
And shouldn't be a parent. Period.
I remember some years ago a girl who canceled her wedding because the dowry demands were becoming outrageous. It made international headline news. She was a strong independent Indian girl and her family backed her up. I hope this becomes a trend.
Anne Boleyn l would like to know about these demands. I imagine they increasingly escalated. They agree on something but the other party would come back and want something else or other
Hahaha that's hilarious!
I would like to hear about that.
That's a big business in lot of countries, apparently selling a girl with money, money you have to pay to the buyer. It's a slavery in different form. Not only men are entirely responsible but also groom's mother & sisters are as well,another thing is social pressure. That's a very critical structure been nurturing for centuries. Sometime I wonder will it be abolished at all. Dowry, where human become a product.
Becky Keeler why do you find that hilarious? I think it is sad and I agree with the bride.
I am from Northeast India (Meghalaya) and we practice matrilineal tradition wherein we do not have dowry. Post marriage a guy has to stay at a girl's house. Thanks to our Ancestors 💕
A man lives in the bride's family house ????🙄🙄🙄🙄 that encourages laziness
@@wabwobarolex6088 It was the culture in kerala too-I come from the same tradition.Unfortunately because of the invasions,the people are having a Mughal and colonial mindset and hence the dowry and patriarchial traditions came.Its heartbreaking too see those being adopted by people around me....
by that logic women going to the man's house should be called laziness as well, but its not, its called duty, just how it is, culture, ancient practice. Dont be stupid@@wabwobarolex6088
@@wabwobarolex6088 Nope. In Northeast India and even in minority groups of Bangladesh, the matriarchal system dictates everyone to work. It's not free food from in-laws. The men have to earn for the children and women earn for the household. It's an equal system. Only in patriarchal households, the in-laws won't let their live-in sons-in-law work because of so called honor.
@@wabwobarolex6088 What a nuts thing to say. Sounds like your perspectives are made from those damaging old traditional beliefs that caused this young woman's death.
when will this society understand that their daughter is more precious than social stigma?
Not in this generation
Yeah get with the program India
not this culture. people are still brainwashed into thinking daughters are a burden
i'm from a pakistani muslim background and even though Islam says women are just as important as men, sadly due to the cultures backwardness people still celebrate more and seem happier when a son is born but when a daughter is born they are like oh.... ok i guess. even in my family they are like this even though they call themselves modern!
Not any time soon.
vickie minhas you mean our parents generation coz this generation we will not care
It's better to be single than being married to the wrong man
It's not about "being married to the wrong man", but rather being married into a primitive culture...
ROBIN WILLIAMS
MUST HAVE SPOKEN HIS HEART
When he said ' I use to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. Its not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone
Yup. It's very hard to find a good person in marriage to be arranged.
I love being single!
...or to the wrong woman, for that fact...
As we now say in Nigeria, better a living divorced daughter than a dead married daughter.
My dear. It's far better. Our families don't have issues accepting their daughters back. Highest we return the dowry
I swear!!!
We r Indian , we say better a dead daughter then a living divorcee
Don't hate me for this , I feel sorry for this + I m at the recieving end , m a woman!
@@jeetk5663 Women are capable for fending for themselves!
@@jeetk5663 i understand
What shocks me is that she's an Aerospace Engineer who worked for Boeing in the US and she was treated this way. She's an intelligent and courageous woman, and yet she's defined by the cowardice of her "husband." I'm stunned. They should be paying her!
How can this father excuse himself for not bringing his daughter home when he went to visit, he KNEW the danger she was in but note he is far more concerned about saving HIS reputation.
He is more concerned about his reputation in society rather to save his daughter
He seems very remorseful.
@@ms.whitefolks1223 no he dosent, remorse would include him accepting the roll he played in her death. He never even hinted at that at any point.
It is not such a small issue...marriage is something that is big and hasty decisions can really impact their lives and probably he hoped that they would settle and live a good life of understanding each other
Absolutely true his image and status was more important than his daughters well being he shd not be crying now when he had the chance to do right by his daughter he chose not to but instead he asked his son in-law to stay with his daughter wht kind of a father does that sad and pathetic is wht he is
That father saw how his daughter was suffering and still he forced her to stay with her abuser. He's responsible for her death. For all ladies never stay with an abusive huaband. Divorce is a good solution for such marriages.
He will blame himself 4ever..he never savedhis daughter....where is honour wen his daughter is dead
I agree, every girl should be free to marry who SHE chooses to marry. Old backward religious dogmas should be discarded IF the girl's personal freedom is at stake. What her father thinks is not of importance, it's what the girl thinks for herself is important.
You're right, but it's she didn't stay with him she would've been single for life. Ending up alone when she's old. Like, literally.
I'd rather have a divorced daughter than a married dead one
@@ColonelFluffles At least she would be alive, that’s far better then the alternative. Not to mention as an Australian citizen she potentially wouldn’t have to conform to her cultural standards and be socially punished for being single woman like back home, she had a great career, the woman had options.
Also she’s was so beautiful, believe me, she could have found someone who actually deserved her and loved her if that monster didn’t kill her.
I will not marry a person who wants my parents to pay him to marry me.
In my culture we have a "bride price" where we must pay the price to the parents of the bride...typically $5000 but can be more based on the purity of the girl and educational background
@@mosesyang4222 where are u from??
I m not yet married (in 30s) because of dowry and as I am working, in arrange marriage groom's family want that I will pay their loans :(
@Rahr I am considering it now but seems quite difficult
Moses Yang totally wrong. You should marry for love and build a live together, not rely on the bride s parents.
If you live in western country abide by there customs.
I m glad that I rejected a person whose parents wants money for marriage. I literally told him that ur parents wants to sell u n m not ready to buy u..go sell urself in an open market.. now m lucky to have a beautiful partner in my life..
You told him to go sell himself! hahahah..Savage! Good job.
Geetika Tibrewal good for you !!
@THE ZOLDICS by ur reply I cn think u r very much ready to sell urself in the market.. beta male...
Wait, so the bride pays the groom in India? 😮
@@Sheesh-b7mYes, that's really the heart of this story, did you miss it or maybe you couldn't view it
If you don't love my daughter anymore,shes coming home with me until she can stand on her own again!i don't care what anyone else will think or say!
Yes that's how every man should react on such situation. Women are mentally stronger than men, they just need a someone to stand by them. They can change the world
Exactly, I've spent years of my life bringing up this gorgeous and smart woman so that an idiot could look down on her and abuse her?? OMG! The things I would do to him!
Question if the real Iesus arise would you give your son to Iesus to help change this world ?
Sorry God has ask me to ask one of you
@@deniswasacase6235 yes sure from my side I will never stop my child to do anything good and helpful to the society.
In the 1800's there was no letter J there was an I so basically lesus is Jesus so he will come in this name lesus and he will say I am not Jesus I'm his brother he is walking on Earth right now and he not a white man and what brought him out is the prayers of women and the children of the world and the mother earth will bless him first, you are blessed now because I shared this you Amen
"Where will she go? " this is why you should make your girls independent.
I second that.
@Daniel Mendozkevich Yeah, like this guy protected her, right? 😂🤦♀️
She was a qualified physician, she had where to go, as far as employment goes. She could afford to live independently if it came down to it..
@Daniel Mendozkevich It's not.
Exactly!
How are the police not sure if the second guy killed his wife?? 😕😒
1)He was the only other person there with her.
2) She called the police just before, for help.
3) He's threatened to kill her multiple times.
4) He was physically, mentally, and verbally abusive.
5) She was about to divorce him
So then why oh why, would she suddenly decide to set herself on fire, & then run outside? 💭😑😡
Kk Hh ..yes.. very sad.. God bless her 🙏🏻
The hard part, as hard as it is to believe, fire is one of the things that hardest to prove who did it. There have been people who have set themselves on fire in protest and died. Though circumstantial evidence points to the husband being the perp, there would be need to be more proof than that because a good defense lawyer could easily claim that yes he was abusive and yes she felt threatened but while this might make the husband a terrible person what in fact happened was in her despair she set her self on fire in protest and to escape. It could create enough doubt to atleast result in a hung jury.
Though I would like to think a good detective and forensic team could have atleast taken the husband in to detect if he had any traces of accelerants on his hands or clothes. Or had purchased the accelerant prior to the incident.
At the very least I would think he would be charged with manslaughter though not sure how different AUS law is compared to the US.
How foolish to let your daughter go through abuses,atrocities and finally got murdered in the name of family dignity and honour .
Arranged or not this family was more concerned about social norms than his daughters safety.
It's about saving face, an Asian thing.
In her fathers eyes- he was trying to save her from being shamed and ostracised by society.. the power of societal pressure is devastating. He paid the ultimate price for it.
@@nadiabairamis3854 No honor in murder
I don't want to sound cold hearted but Indians should stop these arranged marriages stop making your girls to feel like a burden let people fall in love
Vannuge Jiiko Not all Indians have this practice.. in the North eastern states there is no dowry. In fact. The brides are given jewelry and gifts by their new families as to honor them..
All cultures give gifts.
In India dowry is taken even in love marriage
atif khan like I said , ask an Indian from the North Eastern region. You will be laughed at. Do not lump all of them together.
1mikon who cares about north eastern. They treated like Chinese in northern India. Northern India dominate all
"Reputation and honour" = death of a woman.😭
Deepshika’s father is just as guilty as the vile “husband”
Trisha Hopkins sad. After... the fact. Culture is upside down .. needs to be husband pays for woman... lucky to have.. a woman. 😡
Exactly!
At least he loved her. So many baby girls murdered or thrown away but he actually loved his daughter. He was worried for her future because of society and culture. He’s obviously broken from this
@@lilbarbie5263 he doesn't understand the meaning of love. He only understands shame and pride.
As a Parent I would rather be ridiculed in my community and laughed at and teased than to sell mu daughter off!! Too much pride!! all comes down to Perceptions of others taking precedence over the life of ones own children
Yep, seems that other's gossip is way more important than the daughter you've raised for all those years. Such is the pressure of cultural 'norms'. Makes the mind boggle!
They're ignorants. Lack of education is the problem and their misogynistic culture for sure
That is exactly the issue with the Indian culture. They are obsessed with gaining everyone's approval.
Absolutely Anne. My own blood. Never
Abusers are the same everywhere. They are never worth living with.
I've been single for more then 10 yrs, after getting out of a abusive, controlling, jealousy relationship. I couldn't be happier being single. My choice of course.
Ronda SunShine good for you 👍
Good for you 💜
Me too. 🥰🌺
What about when you miss a man's company
I been single for 2 years I really enjoy it. /Hope for the best for you /enjoy your life/
No one is pointing the fact that MOST of this dowry related crimes and violence are perpetuated or inspired by the mother of the groom. Should we not then educate those mothers so that we can avoid tragedies like this? It's like the mother of the groom is taking revenge to the bride for the sufferings she experienced when she too was married off to an unknown man!
Fuck the mother in laws, they're too old to learn anything. Educate the young wives and daughters. Educate the young husbands and young boys.
latesukiyaki problem is do they want to be educated on this matter.
latesukiyaki they most definitely are perpetuating the cycle of abuse. They suffered and feel the need to make their daughter in laws suffer.
The mothers are very controlling and are very involved in their sons life. The sons pride somehow still rests with the mother, most men are not able to say no to their mothers, when they tell them to follow old traditions. A newly wed wife is literally alone in this situation.
their culture is the worst within the family and socially
“Pease don’t divorce her. Be together, stay together and be happy” how was that gonna happen if he straight out told the father he wants divorce??
The father failed his daughter, period!!
The second story 😯
Shame on those parents who thinks saving marriage is more important then being happy or even though being abused also fine, what's wrong with the family. 😡
Its sort of funny that hippies were so bewitched by India.
It's going on since ages. It became culture there. And if one person, parents raises voice and bring their daughter home, the whole relatives, friend circles start start talking bad about them. They starts losing family name, respect. They care about their honour more than anything.
All cultures cling to the belief that saving the marriage is crucial. Read the marriage vows, “honor & obey, til death”.
@@msjanegrey Hippies? lol
@@LoveyK on point!💯
Pimping is Illegal but you put Tradition on it and it's legal ?
Ancient + tradition + culture + parents = Command respect
@@lowboonkiat73
it's not Respect where is the Victims Respect " Respect is earned not given ' If you're a good parent you don't have to ask for Respect it will be given it's Control "
But I know what you're talking about
@@lowboonkiat73 ancient tradition isn't the epitome of truth. In fact our ancestors didnt have quarter of the knowledge we have now. This is what you call ignorance and blind acceptance. No one with half a brain would practice problematic traditions aka ones that allow violence or other form of harm to another. India is known to be ahead in education since ancient times but how can an innocent tradition to gift their daughter become twisted over the years to become a gift to the husbands family? Wtf
Good point
Exactly that's what it is😢
So this woman is literally burned alive, the only other person in the house at the time is her husband and no arrest has been made, yeah ok?!?
..and who sets themselves on fire these days
@@Mas0808 oh please tell us where these "No go" zones are
Australian laws need to catch up and be updated
Wake up, Australia! If these women were Australian women, you would be outraged, making all kinds of efforts, to provide safe havens for these women, and harsh punishments for their abusers. These women are human beings, and Australia is a modern, civilized country! There is no excuse for allowing these horrid atrocities, to continue! Shame, shame, shame on you!
Australia the fair . . .
Update on the second case: The husband was finally arrested and charged with her murder in 2017
Why parents feel the need to arrange marriage? So their child's life would reflect their own? "He lives in Australia and works in a bank. That's a good impression." Is that all it takes to give your daughter away? Sadly, there's nobody to blame but the parents. I bet if they have another child, they would still arrange another marriage. This tradition will still continue as long as society can not accept the fact that women can be single, happy and healthy. And "society" starts with each of us.
Fibbles G SPOUSE FFFN VISA!its a way to get another one out.
Fibbles G arranged marriage had nothing to do with what happened here. Arranged or not, if a man is not respectful to his wife and abuses her, the girl's parents should support the girl and get the couple divorced. I know ample happily married couple who had arranged marriage and ample broken marriages which were love marriages. Also, many single girls and boys who would be completely be ok with arranged marriage.
u understood it well bro ur totally correct, this law has ruined many husband and their family, this law is framed in assumption 80% cases are false and fabricated to trouble the husband and inlaws.
Sadly, YES!
How can you pay a man to sleep with your daughter, give him children, and take care of him and his home. It should be the other way around. 🤦♀️
india is country of fake cases at current situation, laws are used , misued for settling scores. All gender laws designed on bias thought that women is always innocent and men and his family are considered main culprit.
Indian Goverment made situation of men as third class citizen of country , in context of judicial issues.
Goverment of india spending billion of doller on women empowerment and same educated womens are misusing laws for personal gains and money.
It is sad situation for coutry like india where materlism engulfing family values , i think after a decade or mid of decade indian men and his family will completly stop marriage of his son.
If you check sucides of married men in india , it will be eye opener for the reality of the men's situation in country.
That isn't the point of the video
@@anti1training so what's the point?
Because the video is telling me women pay men large sum of money to marry them. 🤷♀️
So please educate me what other point is there.
@@anti1training in Africa a man save up to marry a woman because she is going to give him a new generation, be his support in life, love and take care of him and his children.
@@segarinnajohnson4092 The point is about the death that dowries bring. The problem isn't who gives who money. Either way, greed and social status contributes to these tragedies.
Somehow, I don't understand why the father didn't bring her home, when he had the opportunity to. He talked about the disgrace of divorce......now she is gone. Sad.
Now he has to deal with the "disgrace" of a murdered child and an orphaned grandchild.
Thi Huynh if you don’t understand a social setup you can’t be able to understand fathers decision, one marriage means one husband till death
No rights of divorce, personality abuse and family abuse
A women carry lot of baggage on the shoulders of a girl
@@comictube1831idiot man and idiot stupid comment!
Yeah cause he’s an idiot.
Some people should not have been blessed with children period!
Dowry is illegal in India. When someone asks for dowry or “gifts” that itself should be a red flag.
Parents that agree to pay dowry are also equally at fault for the fate being met by their daughters. Unfortunately they only come to the realisation when it’s too late and that is a shame.
Correct.
@THE ZOLDICS two wrongs don't make a right.
Lots of illegal things going on and by bribing illegal things become legal there.
I got phone call that your daughter is no more. but at least she's not divorced right? why else would u tell your daughter to stay with an abusive husband
shasya ryna that’s what I was thinking 💭
She left and look at the outcome
Right? Your daughter has been murdered by the man you pandered her out to. But hey...at least you didn't suffer the shame and dishonor of a divorce and/or failed marriage. At least now she'll never be able to let you down, eh pops?
I never understood why the girl had to pay for the man. After all she's really the price he is getting a beautiful bride who will take care of him and one day give him kids like wtf? He should be made to pay not the girl!
Sandra Jefferson . Yeah in Islam the groom has to pay the bride not the bride's family. Unfortunately in many places in India the guy gets paid by the bride and her family.
Sandra Jefferson i
In the old days, a father gave his wealth to his children in two ways: to his sons, the land and estates that were to be equally distributed among all the male heirs (unlike the English system where it was only passed on to the eldest male heir) and to his daughters he gave his wealth either in the form of liquid cash or gold i.e. a dowry. A dowry, therefore was a daughter's inheritance. And a man was considered a weak provider if he touched his wife's gold or money because that was messing with her financial security. However, this has been twisted by sad pathetic people like the one in the video to harass and swindle good women. In India, no man who really considers himself a man would touch his wife's inherited wealth. EVER. These are extreme cases of arseholes. They exist in all societies.
Anu Kal Sorry, but this issue is quite common in India where the groom's actual family expect dowry and gifts from the bride's family. They force the bride to be their slave and worker often living with the in-laws to work and care for them as if they own her. Especially within Hindu culture.
Summerbreeze it is quite common in India. I'm not denying that. But that's because abuse is common. The difference between what you're saying and what I'm saying is that this is not considered as a morally acceptable thing. No man who considers himself a provider and and who is respectable would do this. It's not a cultural thing, it's a societal problem. Do you have any idea the kind of cultural respect that is given to a woman? It is immense. But that has been twisted by society to enslave her. You get what I'm saying right? It's like in the West.. Where women face so much societal pressure to look good that they inject poison and go under surgery to make themselves into a picture of beauty. That's because they feel they are valued more of they are pretty. But that is not the official culture. You get me? The ones in this video are extreme cases. That doesn't mean those cases are not common. So when you say 'Hindu, culture' you are not entirely accurate. Again, such arseholes exist in all societies. For instance the highest rate of pedophilia among racial groups is found to be among Caucasian men. They are by far the largest number of customers involved in sex tourism where underage girls are exploited in countries like Philippines. Now, don't get me wrong, sexual slavery is present in India too. But by and large, it's with mature women. Again, that's not to say children are not involved, I'm saying taking into account population size and prevalence in percentage points, by far the highest rate of pedophilia is among Caucasian men. That's not a reflection of your culture, now is it?
During my sister wedding i have seen her in-laws Fighting / bargaining for $700 more like purchasing vegetables from local market.. In my village farmers have to sell off their land to fulfil demands of bridegrooms family... Dowry is Prohibited in Our country by legal means but silently 99.99% people practice it... 😞
I mean yeah! most peoples do! No matter educated or non-educated! Also, Even brides look for rich groom! I can say, dowry is more common though other way around is also popular!
@THE ZOLDICS shame on your mentality. They don't live for free now. Women do jobs you know?
@THE ZOLDICS free , how can say that a woman lives free in her husband, a woman do all household work ,look after children, how can say that...? ur mother live free in father hpuse?
@@theekshanamaparathne1906 87% of tax is paid by men, you know?
Check tax department reports and 85% money spends by women without earnings, you know?
@@satyendrsingh6071
This is a pure hindu vision of women. In islam its the opposite husband must honnor his wife and give her jewelry and clothes and pay for every thing .
Why are there so many spousal murders in the Sikh community? When I was younger in the 80s, I was in love with a Punjabi girl. We liked each other very much and there was so much romance in our relationship. We knew each other from secondary school in a City in Malaysia and it was mutual attraction. After my STPM, I went over to Singapore for work, we kept in touch and we were very much in love. We had been together for almost 5 years by then. When I asked her parents for her, they refused and said that they'll only get her married to a Punjabi guy. I begged her parents, begged her family and finally begged her to leave her family and come to me. She refused and said that she will never hurt her family for anyone. I went through an emotional crisis. I had my whole life planned with her and for her. The fact that we will never be together, broke me apart and I could not imagine her living with someone else and bearing him children. I could not imagine another man touching her. She was my dream. She was my princess from the Fairy Tales. My GOD .. she was so beautiful and she was supposed to be mine. The thought of losing her destroyed me.
They got her married to a Punjabi guy. We lost touch for many years and those days in the 90s, there was no Facebook and there was no social media.
While it was difficult as I was still in love with her, my parents convinced me to marry a girl of their choice.
The last I heard about my ex girlfriend was that she had divorced. She separated from her husband due to family conflicts it seems. Her husband was a business man from India and I am not sure what prompted the separation.
If she had married me, I would have taken good care of her, I would have ensured her happiness. While I did get married and have been faithful to my wife of 25 years, the pain of my break up with my ex-GF and the memories I had with her still linger deep in my heart. I know that there is still a part of me that loves her. She was my 1st love and she was my celebration. A celebration that ended but still remain in my heart.
A celebration that will never cease no matter what, a celebration that will be celebrated for eternity.
Ihre Geschichte ist sehr, sehr traurig. Ich sende Ihnen von Herzen alles nur erdenklich Liebe und Gute. - Sie müssen ein liebenswerter Mensch sein. -
Your Story Made me cry...i think she still loves you
You need to move on, and stay faithful to wife. 😊
That lady psychiatrist lay a lot of blame and responsibility on Australia’s door, but it’s really a result of a deep rooted misogynistic Indian culture. Even India doesn’t have a handle on this, so how can a foreign government?
@@aleekaamor9097 BS.. what do you, call it!?? You can't sugar coat this.
@@aleekaamor9097 its backward culture not just culture!
I'm indian girl i agree
@@aleekaamor9097 What then is the proper word? It is part of the Indian culture and the mores of that society. It may not be written down, but it is part of the expectations of that society and that is a part of culture.
@Lolly you hit the nail right on the head. Nobody likes to say it out loud, but it’s the truth. I’m a brown girl myself.
My ex fiance and his family were asking for dowry and comparing with my aunt's dowry and we refused and broke up.i would never ever agree with dowry.if that man is not capable enough to make money for himself then why should marry to that looser
Good on you.
Very smart girl. Go another step and forget marriage altogether. Invest in you, education, job, hobbies...that culture is medieval and predatory on women. Open your eyes wide open.
youtubelover exactly girl
@being human One of the big glamourized fantasies of humans is that all parents want the best for their kids. It's simply not true! Sorry to burst the pink bubble. History showed countless times that parents sell their kids for eveything under the sun that gives themselves advantage; money , prestige, fame, personal hapiness, using the ancient tactic called FOG (fear, obligation, guilt). Many even today prefer to marry their daughters to rich families which kill them, just to be well accepted and envied by the comunity. They use the powerless and naive youths for personal gain taking advantage of them and when things go awry the majority categorically refuse any blame.
Remember, independently if it is you or others that make decisions over your own life , the consequences will fall on your head.
Carve your own path. It's you who get to make your big personal life decisions. Probably your mum doesn't want to let go of control over your life. Tell her off. Or even better, tell her she's right and do your own thing on your terms without anyone know it, stop telling her your "stupid fantasies". Be strong, be careful and meticulous about your decisions, set plans in motion and set free. You're capable, good luck.
You go girl!
If a man demanded money/gold to marry me, my dad would laugh in his face and tell him to get a job. I suppose it's tradition. India It's time to evolve.
People who have everything, and are socially and economically doing well demands the most...
Even lakshmi mittal an indian business tycoon gave each visitor a car as a gift..
This is deep rooted evil..
Its the family that pushes it... 😣😣
Dowry is not compulsory. Traditionally a parents give to their daughter will start new life. Old time actually mens are bring dowry. 20th century people suffering with this dowry. So many girls are hard time to get marriage. Still going on...
It's actually banned in india ...bit just bcoz it's banned dose'nt mean it's stoped..
I have two older brothers. One of my brother recently got engaged and my father refused for dowry which made me feel that things are changing in better way 😀.
If a man demanded money/gold to marry me, my dad would laugh in his face and tell him to get a job. I suppose it's tradition. India It's time to evolve.
" When in Rome do as the Romans do ". Put simply, when you leave home, leave your garbage behind.
Deepshika's Dad didn't love his daughter enough, if someone tells me that they don't want my daughter, i will be the one going to that house and pack all her stuff myself to hell with honour, my babies comes first and it ends like that.....
.
Mab Mash in pakistan living as widow or divorce is hell.
Mab Mash yes
That was a hard lesson he had to learn later
I feel that the families have to stop allowing what others think and protect their daughters. How these women are viewed as failures because the marriage didn't work out. Not just in India but globally. Women are not a burden or property
when honor is more important than life.
Bebe Ramallosa right!
"honor"
TRUTH!!!
There's nthg honorable in dis
Bebe Ramallosa weird how they talk about honor but we need to call it something else. There is no honor to any of this.
Surely the police should have followed the abuse claims more. The father’s love extended only to the honour of the family NOT his daughter.
His pain and anguish, not hers 🥺😡
You are so right ☹️
True. It is honestly the situation with many (if not most) parents here. They think more of the family's so called honor than their children's future.
And it's really great to see Australia is raising these questions regarding the dowry and deaths
The families of these women need to take responsibility for NOT taking action. They sit on their hands for months knowing something is wrong. Hoping that things would magically work out.
Mrs. Rivera better to be an orphan than have parents like this.
Mrs. Rivera the seems ignorant fear divorce see it as an outcast but life goes on
Mrs. Rivera Marrying a stranger and cash upfront,what could go wrong?
Mrs. Rivera She divorced him though.
They were outside India, Australians dont understand these thing as arrange marriage is alien to them
There's one thing I fail to understand here about her dad.... Surely if your child comes to you and says her husband is being abusive YOU DON'T SEND HER BACK to get abused more! -_- if you go to your parents with a problem, especially one this severe, they should help or in the least take care of you and not make you suffer further.
Thats the problem with shame based cultures! The father was more ashamed of what people will say than his daughters safety.
brayo144 exactly ! I felt really sad for the dad . Poor man he lost his daughter but he made a major mistake by sending her back and asking him to stay. The problem is the shitty culture in India where people just like to bury their problems and pretend like all is good and this is why he send her back .
Areefa Khan may b u dont knw evn if girl is protected from death point but shes told to go back to inlaws its not just astory it fact.so lots of girls dont coup with parents.thr lifes r lik hell.this clip hav brought out true stroys but still girls hide from puplic police the dont make shows
Yes, the girls family expects their daughter to fix the problem herself, give in to the wants of the new family and to not make a show out of it.
How do you know he himself didn't abuse hiw own wife? It's such a prevalent custom that they are havinghard time getting rid of it in the year 2015! How do you know everyone in Indian wasn't following it vigorously even 20 years ago?
The sad thing about this whole thing is that in Deepshika's case, her family would've STILL left her with him, so long as he didn't actually kill her literally, but just abused her. As long as she was alive, she would have to stay with. They would've probably disowned her if she had managed to successfully divorce him or worse still convinced her to go back. As much as they tried to save face by leaving her with someone abusive, her death did nothing from saving them from "shame" either, because the same people they were trying to save face from are the same people who will shame you for raising a daughter who couldn't keep a happy home. They are more saddened by the loss of that animal's life than they are about her life and blame her for her own murder. Where is your honour now?Humans never learn. They do what they want and ignore red flags hoping it will all somehow fix itself, only to then have all the regret in the world when shit hits the fan. Fix it people.
Dowry is not most important for marriage in most already developed country ,love , care,character are key point for couple .
Yeah I thought the same thing but you know what, now sadly he can tend to her grave/shrine for the rest of his life. But hey at least her reputation remained intact and untarnished to the end.
In most of the cases, none of these parents deserve a girl. I know this to my core, that if these girls asked their parents to marry her off to someone of her own choice, these same people would shame these girls. They'd rather marry her to someone on the word of someone else who doesn't know the first thing about the guy or the girl. With the web of lies too good to be true, the guy would be portrayed as the nicest being on the earth, who doesn't have a bad habit, is educated this and that. The girl would always be portrayed someone who would chauffer her husband and oblige to him as it's her duty.
Even when the girls start to speak up, these parents are the first one to leave her to die.
First they push her into the pit, then make sure to tell her that it's her duty to be there. How sad it is that it takes death of their childern to make them actually regret this decision.
High time that fathers to teach their daughters to be strong and mothers to teach their sons to respect women.
*I would NOT be willing to die for any man’s hurt pride...* 🤷🏻♀️
The point is, your will is irrelevant.
It's inevitably the women in the grooms family who encourage and carry out the torture
You should not do dowry and arranged marriage. You should not marry someone you don't know!
Jacqueline Larsen
By the time woman hit their adult they must have changed 4-5 guys in life and still thousands women remain single n keep sleeping around under the excuse of new relationships
Specially we noticed this in white womens or western culture
As a girl living in India I can say Indian men are sick. Even my friends who are doctors and engineers say that they will take dowry
And someone you don't love.
@@SubhashreeMishrasweetsubha well hope they get sued under IPC article 304
You cant blame Australia for how they handled this issue. You guys have to stop freaking Dowry, stop blaming others and start fixing our culture
They probably have to walk a fine line between respecting Indian culture and implementing Aussie law
We fixed it legally but we cannot visit everyone's house to stop it. This is true and sad unfortunately.
The father seems more concerned about his feelings than his daughter's safety and security even after his daughter died!
I’m an indian (Sikh) and on my marriage my in laws never asked a single penny from my parents. Lucky me! And where I come from these norms are changing fortunately
Same for me. In my region some people started this trend where girls parents refused to marry to a person who demand dowry even they spread these words within social circle like this boy family is not good as they are asking for dowry. So it is like shaming them so it would hard for them to find girl . If person ask dowry on marriage day then they will cancel it and involve local newspaper and police.
Same here
@@shonamanju1244 and of girls parents asking for money from men, what you say we should involve police and newspaper, like any financial help should not be asked from men.
The father pleaded with her husband to keep her.. In my eyes the father murdered his daughter also, as well as the husband
R. I. P
This system is so nasty... Dowry system is one of the most shameful system in India. Indian women should not marry a man who asks dowry...
boxer boxer I agree with you
My guess is a part of it was that he was a resident (or citizen) of Australia. They want one of their family members to get married, go there, get citizenship, then help the rest immigrate. So they pay the man to marry her, but I guess it wasn't enough for him.
it happens to hindus only. dowry is not part of islam
@@nasimasultana6923 murtaza hassan Islamic marriage is a prostitution and a sexual slavery contract where the guy buys women, enslaves them and humiliates them.
In hinduism, dowry is the girl's share of her father's property. Marriage is considered sacred. The concept of dowry changed because of poverty arising from Islamic and British invasions of India.
@@universaltraveller263 islamic marriage ?
Arrest this old man first. He deserves it before arresting her husband.
People fail to understand "A divorced daughter is far better than a dead daughter"
I don't get this whole dowry system. If a guy wants to marry a girl and if he's into her then why would he demand that her family pay him to marry her?
That's like me going to a store, seeing something I like and demanding the store to pay me to take that thing.
JTN 저스틴 u r funny lol...and it makes logic as well😂
Its for men who are successful. No bum off the street is going to ask for a dowry and succeed. Indians understand that australia is a good country which can provide a better future for their kids so marrying their daughter to a guy who has a decent job etc seems like a good idea. In their culture the man is number 1 marriage wise while in western countries women are.
who said its only in india.... its in china as well where the women should be given dowry or 'Gifts' whereas its men in india who receives the gift
Traditionally the man is the moneymaker, so the wife will be a financial liability, so payments are made by the family for him to take care of her financially
JTN 저스틴 right. first time I heard it I thought the man paid the womens family
a message to the indian women n her family "stop judging a man by his wealth, judge by his character". u can save a lot of women
Or his 'degrees' ratta marke koi bhi pass hosakta hai, but academic achievements doesnt mean the man/woman is of good character or nature and this something that brown parents in not only India but also Bangladesh need to understand, All sound Asia to be honest.
Well said bro
its the girls family that gives the dowry
Uncle Ruckus its her family who choose the boy
ur rite bro, indian men knows how badly they are suffering and tortures of wifes.
1 woman killed every hour!! Omg that's crazy and so sad for these women!
TBH more exaggerated imo
Not that crazy out of more than a billion people....sure more die by bike accidents !
It s really not that much out of a billion people !..
india is country of fake cases at current situation, laws are used , misued for settling scores. All gender laws designed on bias thought that women is always innocent and men and his family are considered main culprit.
Indian Goverment made situation of men as third class citizen of country , in context of judicial issues.
Goverment of india spending billion of doller on women empowerment and same educated womens are misusing laws for personal gains and money.
It is sad situation for coutry like india where materlism engulfing family values , i think after a decade or mid of decade indian men and his family will completly stop marriage of his son.
If you check sucides of married men in india , it will be eye opener for the reality of the men's situation in country.
Thats a bullshit statistic..
The only drowry i and my parents asked from my in laws is blessings... I just cant imagine more big than blessings. Material things doesnt bring happiness... Blessings from elders do bring....
As a father of 3 girls, this is so hard to watch. May the peace of the Lord be upon these poor families
The problem is arranged marriages, the Dowry is just a symptom. With arranged marriages the bride becomes an object, a piece of trade, not a person.
Simon Kefas even in love marriage dowry is taken, generally it is lesser money because groom family still want dowry even if the couple love each other. But dowry is not universal truth their are marriages where their is no dowry involved
Simon Kefas I totally agree with you. Dowry is paid in African culture and I have never heard of anyone being killed.
JimboParadox
That is not true because the men always own the homes so women would have to leave. But I would rather my husband runs off than milk me out of my money that I could use for my children. These women are battered to the extent that they can barely ran, we rarely see that in Africa, rarely. They literally wait for their death. SAD.
Even in love marriage dowry is taken ? WTF lol
Who gave you that Idea idiot, Arranged marriages are just like online dating except your parents are involved in it, we have matrimony website for people to match their partner and parents guide their children when choosing a partner.
i don't think dowry matters ultimately, these men are totally
psychotic... abusive and controlling... no mater what amt. is given, these men are insane and sick
It starts at a young age. Need to educate the young boys and girls while they're still young.
11thirtynine i would like to see the father in jail : for offering dowry, acting like an ostrich while his daughter went through hell and crying crocodile tears after she is dead.
11thirtynine The fathers are the ones who decide, clearly. It has to come from them as men.
i totally agree with u
Yes I agree, I think he had a borderline personality disorder.
In Nigeria we do have dowry but we called it “Bride Price”, the man have to pay lump sum to the bride’s family as a traditional compensation that the mother lose her daughter to inlaw family. Rarely to hear in the social media - no killing or fighting each other between the Nigerian bride’s family and In-laws.
@SVijay-st9chand its not forced. If you cant pay up, you dont get married, period. Thats why sometimes families put money together so their son can get a wife.
don't understand the dad begging the husband not to divorce his daughter when he said he didn't want her and wanted more dowry blah blah. if my husband said that my dad would take me straight home and get a lawyer for me to divorce. he'd spit in anyone's face who treated me like that. Dunno how they put 'honour' before their own childs welfare. disgusting.
Serena unfortunately in traditional North Indian families once you're married, you can't come back home to your parents. Once you're married you're part of your husbands family and not welcome home. It's like the parents responsibility is done.
Sueloveschoc but why raise a daughter for 25 years and love and educate her only to send her off to a husband who treats her like dirt? how can parents do that? my parents would have too much pride to have a husband marry me only to get money and dowry for me. if a man didn't want me and was threatening divorce I know my parents would tell him to f**k off and help me to come home. where is their dignity in allowing someone to walk all over their daughter? I just don't get it.
there is a thing called societial respect or something like that or may be family pride or dignity because of that he don't want him to divorce her,because if he do most of the people think that girl must be bad because most of guys don't divorce their wives over dowry thing but instead they do it when their relationship is not going the right way .If he divorce her it makes her labeled as a bad wive and then mostly people avoid marrying such girls.i hope u get it now.
Serena, you will NEVER understand that, because you're NOT Indian or Pakistani.... In Western culture, divorce is like "HI"! But in some countries divorces is simply NO!!! The divorced women are treated like they don't worth nothing and no one respects them in the community.
kuch khas Nahi ha bas gee raha hain, Well said. I understand that well. My mom NEVER divorced my dad, coz 1.She didn't want to hurt her family and 2.She didn't want to be a divorcee = bad/ easy woman in society. They are still together and their marriage is much better. I'm so proud of my mother !!!
BTW, I'm from Balkan - Macedonia! Peace =)
It’s very sad that parents of any girl educated or uneducated underestimate women and their rights. The society and up bringing are to blame. RIP to the souls lost and the accused should be punished to death either husband or his family who tortured.
i blame the parents too. Indian parents, especially Punjabis, get their daughters married off too just about anything! If the groom is from abroad even if he is twice her age or even a pensioner they will get their daughter married off to him simply so she will go abroad and start sending them money back! there is this 50+ man who lives down my road who went back to india and got married to a 25 year old punjabi girl! she's coming to the UK soon. I blame the parents tbh
secondly these dowry cases are a lot more high in places like Australia compered to the UK because the Indian community in Australia is relativity new and recent. The first mass arrival of Indians in the UK was back in the 60s and 70s since then things have changed and dowry doesn't really exist . In Australia most the Indians there are recent so these practices will be common! perhaps in a decade or two things will change, hopefully
More common in Bangladesh amongst the peasant classes, old men who live in the West can easily get a young bride. Saw it happening when i worked for 26 years in Tower Hamlets in Social Housing.
Canada is that way also (like everything you mentioned about Australian Indians).
bruhh it's sad these guys "sikh punjabi" need more time in gurudwara lol like an hr class of rules before marriage to tell what is acceptable and not.
1. women rights = men rights
2. no dowry
3. etc...
They make all of us look bad and backwards
I hate the word dowry!
Well, I can agree to most of your statement.
But I've to disagree when it comes to "age gap", because real love is ageless and timeless. The biological "age" is just a number on a piece of paper; called "birth certification".
Your biological age can be different, while your mental age is quite similar. The advantage of youth can fit very good to the advantage of life experience.
Being against an age gap, is just judgementality based on western moral (what is just an artificial construct of the society).
And therefore: No matter how young or old, and no matter where you're from, no matter what culture or religion ... NOBODY should be forced into a marriage against his/her will!!!
There's no "honor" in letting your daughters getting abused, knowing about it and doing nothing. These people! Smh!
I had an Indian BF before and when the time we wanted to get married...he had to call his father asking for permission...first question his father asked was " if I'm rich or poor" 😮....then I've told him to tell his father that I will pay you with a bunch of 🍌 banana 🍌
Good for you 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Even if its false made up story, I'd just believe it. Coz why not?
Feminism is on the rise and bashing males for absolutely no reason is just fine.
Also, I'd like you all to visit Indian wedding and see yourself how many take or give dowry nowadays. Generalizing on anecdotes like these would definitely create a negative impression (which i hardly care about).
✌️
U dodged a bullet sis
@@Crymeareva I don't ask you to believe in my story 😊 I just shared my experience. Well... I have many stories about Indian marriages from my Indian friend itself...so I better listen from them.
The father murdered his own daughter
I am sooo lucky to be a single woman
Unlucky!
vickie minhas better to be happy single than unhappy in a marriage
@@annavalentine7555 no not really, u can work on a marriage, there is no point in being single!
@@vickieminhas6592 i love being single i am in charge of my own life! Not a man
me too...
Australia should deport the family who burnt this young woman to death over greed of money & dowry payments by her husband & his family .put them in prison in india
Sorry, the dad should have brought the daughter home no sooner abuse started...
When your reputation is more important than your daughter’s LIFE!
No more dowry system! Having a wife to love and spend your life with is gift enough. Count yourself lucky she would have you.
Strange, his daughter wanted to leave the marriage many times and the parents kept pushing her back. When she’s gone, they blamed the authorities instead of his son in law.
Hearing this father speak breaks my heart into a million pieces 😢😢😢
He put “honour” above his daughters safety and happiness.
If any man hit me my parents would have backed me 100%
Hilai Karim I cant feel sorry for him, even if initially he thought he was doing what was best for his daughter, he should never of begged the man that was abusing his daughter to “keep” her...he had a chance to save her his tears will not bring her back, may she RIP
Indian parents in india must stop looking for NRI grooms.
NRI doesn't mean your daughter will be happy
sathya priya , same with Pakistan. I know a few girls who grew up in the USA and go overseas for a arranged marriages.
They end up going there because of cultural pressure about age and marriage.
Same! Went to India for two weeks and the entire time I was made to feel like I have committed a sin by being so 'old' and unmarried. I will marry when I choose to and to whom I choose. Done with this cultural baggage.
@@wynnhorton1208 I do know that, but people who I am close to from my culture are not willing to change this habit or loosen the chains.
@S croix Thank you! I know. 🙂
@S croix Thank you. I wish you the same.
My daughter knows an indian guy who's a drug addict and his parents let him get away with everything. He just entered an arrange marriage. The bride's family just gave him a brand new car as part of the dowry. Poor girl, hell awaits her with that drug addict.
Sure he is not your daughter's dealer?
Usually drug addicts aren't dealers since they take all the drugs for themsevles
bangerville20001 lol
Why don’t you anonymously send her a message or letter? You know important information, why not save that woman’s life? You will be a better person for it.
Realist LittleIdealist why r u crying over here? Go tell that girl. Idiots
I left my marriage of five years,it was so stressing and abusive I couldn't take it anymore so I just call it quit 😢😢😢😢😢😢
I'm now hitting my 50's and luckily a good 90% of my age group now doesn't blve in dowry even the marriages are being by the consent of our children 🙏
I wish mam/sir... sadly that is not true.. not everyone thinks like you.
@@kumudamulgund7316 I do and i am a CSE engineer from a tier 1 college in india. You just have to wait and choose the right and avoid idiots who demand dowry. India is changing these days all you have to do is find someone who's not always a mama's boy and that could only happen if arranged or love marriages both are organised by consent of two rather than their whole families.
Unbelievable!. Isn't a beautiful woman enough for these bastards? I feel the pain of this poor man.
It's their fanatical devotion to their religion that maintains total control of their women. And yes, they are bastards who think they can get away with anything.
Conni, not everyone is the same. I respect your point but generalizing entire India is totally being wrong. Until and unless you have actually faced the situation you won’t understand anything. It’s easy to judge.
"unless I have actually faced the situation:" Exactly what good would that do?
And do you agree that India is the rape capital of the world? A young girl was brutally gang raped on a bus, violated in every way imaginable and left for dead and she died of her injuries. Indian women were outraged that this happened and carried out protests. INDIA IS ONE OF THE MOST UNSAFEST PLACE FOR A WOMAN because of the ignorant violent men who are allowed to get away with this behavior time and time again.
Conni Lane religion isn’t the issue here, it’s culture.
Conni Lane ugh. I am Indian. I know what goes on and why things are so much exaggerated. I totally empathize with the nirbhaya gang rape in Delhi. But every single person knows it’s unsafe to travel late nights where ever you stay. Being a woman, I know what the rape victim has gone through, no person ever should go through the horror and pain she has dealt with. And conni, I know where my country lacks behind but generalizing it is immensely wrong on your part. You see what’s shown u on the tv and media channels. Do you even know how many people are actually living their lives happily in India ? If India is the most unsafe place for woman, what do u think about the war countries then? According to you Raqqa must a heaven to stay, do your research first, no country I repeat no country is unsafe. It’s because of some monsters who ruin the image for an entire country. Rape is something which is extremely sensitive, can happen anywhere. You can’t blame the country. And in my country, you will always be treated with respect and honour. Lots of people from different countries visit India. I won’t deny our culture is different than yours. But calling it a rape capital and demeaning India isn’t okay. Unless you try to understand the cause of the problem, don’t carry tales along with you.
...seems as if everyone involved was more concerned about themselves than about the bride...
Poor families im so sorry for everything that theyve gone through and im sorry for their loss and i pray that god helps the families through these horrible tragedies and i hope the girls are at peace now in heaven
One man in particular sat at home and ordered his wife (my colleague) to return to work 3 weeks after giving birth smdh.
Must have been a Indian Punjabi Sikh.
Let us say: Must have been an a**hole. Stupidity is international.
Don't blame countries or nationalities, and don't blame men in general.
I'm a German. I'm white. I'm old. I'm a man. - The worst case when it comes to judgementality ... lol.
So what ? Did she made it ?...So..they should start to move soon as possible after giving birth , no animal lays down 3 weeks after giving birth...just human females try to get a pass on everything....still no reason to kill them ...just saying !
@@jellyrun1 wow, you need to learn a lot more about biology. Women are still physically recovering from child birth at 3 weeks. Plus, they're taking care of a newborn baby and any other children they may have. That is an incredible amount of work. Far more work than any job I've ever had, all day and night, while still having many physical difficulties from giving birth and other postpartum physical issues. You are simply ignorant. I doubt you will ever work as hard in your life as a mother.
@@LoveJoyPeace4612 Very true, and a lot more.
Where will she live???!!!
Oh my God...
Amy Hassan I was like that too oooh my
Amy Hassan Ikr? Just shows how much faith they had on their own daughter. Poor woman.
Amy Hassan Are you backward? In Australian she could live in a shelter until they got housing for her. Women here are not reliant on a man to provide for them. She would be educated and able to get child care to assist her. I brought my house after divorce, no ,an has ever taken care of me. Put on your big girl pants and grow up. Seriously, I do not understand women who don't want to be independent. If the marriage is good you have double success, if not you can move on independently
Its the father's fault. He cared about him being hurt and not his daughter.
Well, if you listened, you could hier that the daughter asked the police to drop the charges. And at the end she divorced. She visited her husband to pick up her daughter. What should the father do inb this case from India? Stupid commenter.
Aisha25 i totally agree
How does someone watch this and come to such an irrational conclusion?? I mean, did we even hear the same story? Your comment is literally just cruel and not even close to true. What I saw was a man that *clearly* loves his daughter and had her best interests at heart. But after such a remark, I wouldn't be surprised if you were the one with the love-less Father.
@@avamasquerade it's true though. The father knew the guy was abusive and wanted to leave her. Instead of protecting his daughter he was protecting his honour. The father was saying stupid things like where will she go? Where will she live?
She is a qualified physiotherapist. she was fully capable of living by herself. Yet the father didn't want the stigma and let her stay in a miserable marriage and die.
@Raghunath Reddy men have no shame demanding dowry from wives. wives are to be cared for, they bear your children and caretaker of your families they are not to be milked for materials. what a retarded culture yu indians abide by. so very backwards from the rest of the world who respect women.
My dad is Indian, and he knew a couple who married off their daughter. Mom didn't want to, since we live in a modern country, but the father insisted. She got married and got physically abused by her husband, endured it for many years for "honour", but eventually she got a divorce when it got too much. By then, her father had already passed so she moved back in with her mom in her 40s, and is still there to this day.
My dad broke tradition by marrying a Chinese woman, and eventually my extended family opened their minds and hearts stemming from his decision. Now half my cousins are married to non-Indians and we are so culturally diverse. At one of their weddings, the emcee joked about how half the people sitting at the family tables weren't even Indian. And you know what? I think it's beautiful to marry for love.
Right
So very sad for all involved.
I hope that by sharing this video in Australia we can recognise a form of abuse within a tradition most of us aren't aware of.
My heart breaks for any women or person thinking their worth is only recognised through material gifts.
Lesson
Let children marry whom they want.
Not who you choose.
This is crazy! They value traditions more than their loved ones life.. Smh..
Such a sad thing, thanks for covering this
Such a beautiful, bright lady. Her husband such a monster.
What worries me is the generalization this kind of videos draw. That guy was a psycho. This video is propaganda.
Parents who receive dowry is like selling their daughters and their responsibilities.
It's the other way around duh
They pay the man to take her away stupid
LoveYourNeighbors Dowry is GIVEN by girls' families, as their part of a family inheritance they will not receive once they marry. once they marry, they are NOT entitled to more money/property from their birth families, they become part of their marriage families.
No its like selling the son not daughter
Respect peoples cultures
This are results of parents blindly giving daughters to NRI to raise their status in society.
Aren't greedy girls seeking out well settled NRI guys, equally to blame for this?
girls aren’t greedy, if you’d know it was an ARRANGED MARRIAGE. A girl’s opinion isn’t taken into consideration. It’s not their choice. Hope you understand the seriousness here rather pulling other human down by counter questioning. 🙏🏻
@@dreampinkbubbles Depends on girls residence, schooling, education, and other factors.
@@dreampinkbubbles then why do parents of girls consider the earning potential of the guy and his assets as a criteria for marrying off their daughter? The truth is no one falls in love with a poor guy.
That is nonsense, I am reading daily in India,how Indian man's are killing their wife's.
I have never heard a dowry-related death among the more than 1 million Indian community in Malaysia, be it among the rich, middle-class or the poor in my entire life. Bravo to the Malaysians!
their parent know that she is in trouble but still they force her to live with him
Forcing education is different .. children are young they do not know what is good or bad .. but partner we should never force to live with
Sunil Kumar Please delete your comment, your use of english is limited. Don't bother to answer i am busy checking really important stuff.
what are you saying?
Sunil Kumar girls are seen as a burden in Hinduism that why many people left and converted to other religions
Daniel Palmieri - Why are you being a bully? It sounds like Sunil Kumar is against this practice. Good for him! If only all Indian men had that attitude!
Deepshikha's death is a result of the inability of The Melbourne Police Department of prosecute a perpetrator of domestic abuse. The dowry part was just his "motiviation", it should have nothing to do with how they protect victims of domestic abuse. Would this be different if a white person had gone and told the police that they were being abused. What does the "motivation for abuse" have anything to do with how its handled by the police and their "inability to understand the concept of dowry". The truth is that Australian authorities look at crimes in the minority communities as a "them" problem.
Dowry is deplorable and unacceptable. But domestic abuse should be prosecuted irrespective of dowry or none.
Sugandha Gupta, how about her death was fault of the "MAN" who killed her?
Sugandha Gupta Husbands/his family and fault of her parents fault
I just hope that the Australian Police have learnt from this tragedy ??? In a way this is their fault too, they should have taken this more seriously... If there was a language barrier then they should have employed an interpreter, no excuse for this, too late now, but I hope they have learnt from this tragedy !!!! I am embarassed by this ignorance
This is somewhat true but is it really reasonable to blame the police regardless of the institution of paying complete strangers to marry, and immediately procreating with them, in a financial transaction?
Sugandha Gupta, Unfortunately in this situation, like the majority of domestic abuse cases, she refused to press charges and withdrew her complaints. I am not familiar with the fine details of Australian law pertaining to domestic violence, but from this documentary, it seems similar to that of the United States. Here, in order for an order of protection/restraining order to be granted, there has to be documentation of abuse and/or harassment. Then the police must be notified whenever the order is violated, which may include phone calls, email, coming within a certain vicinity, etc. Then the abuser would be prosecuted for violating said order. The idea is to have the abuser apprehended for violating the restraining orders before he causes physical bodily harm. It is a flawed system though, and it isn't easy for the victim. Many women, not just the woman here, do not report even the physical violence, let alone pursue a restraining order. Especially so in cultures where not obeying one's husband, separation, and/or divorce is seriously looked down upon and thought to bring shame and dishonor to one's family. A lot of times when a woman is beaten by her husband a neighbor hearing the commotion may call the police or the victim may herself. But when the police arrive and the situation starts to calm down a bit, the victim more often than not will withdraw her desire to press charges. It is mostly out of fear. Here there are special units within the police department dedicated solely to domestic violence victims. They are given the tools to get out, including womens shelter information, support groups, information for organizations that can help them financially, etc. The way the law works though, is that it needs the victim to be willing to press charges and testify.
Not being Australian, I cannot comment on race being or not being an issue when it comes to prosecution. However, the way that I understood the "inability to understand the concept of dowry" is simply that. As someone who comes from a culture that doesn't have dowries, what I picture when I hear "dowry" is a gift that the parents of one partner in a marriage give to the parents of the other partner in the marriage as a wedding gift. The thought of violence, or the potential of violence wouldn't pop up as a red flag because I never would have associated the two. Unfortunately there was a lot of miscommunication and under communication in this situation and the seriousness of the situation had failed to have been realized. Now, of course I may be wrong, but as someone who also isn't familiar with dowries, I do not think that this was deliberate discarding of pertinent information. Based solely on what I have seen in this documentary, I think it was a very unfortunate mistake. I do hope that now this department and other departments in the area are now aware of this case and the seriousness of cases like it so that this situation never happens to another woman again.
Yeah DAD your honor is more important then yours daughters life. These Backwards socities need to be blamed for there actions and beliefs...
dowry marriage is only for arrange marriages in india.. love marriages dont really have dowry.. but sometimes the girls familys rich they give the dowry out of cultural belief so that their daughter is beyond them and not to be taken as a slave to their family... thats the pricipal u dumbass people dont get.... you just take and divorce over your petty ego... but indians hold on till the last bit where they have to sacrifice everything to divorce, theres no such thing as ego or pride in an indian marriage... get ur facts right before you dumb fukers judge
about a billion are...
inderpreet kaur What kind of men take money off of vulnerable women? Oh the effeminate Indian men.
its actualy an old tradition summerbreeze... usualy doesnt happen in love marriages.. and i agree as a man u should be the man to take care of the family... i am sri lankan we had these issues a while back but everyone is getting educated slowly.. just gotta wait for those old people to die out so the new generation doesnt have the same mentality
Black Tiger yeah right the new generation isn't much different with the exception of few. They're all groomed from a very young age to act and think a certain way.
So sad make me cry😭 Heart broken what her parents going trough♥️