The standing in front of the mirror really hit home for me. A lot of times I have no idea who I am and then I look in the mirror and "Is this really me? Is this my face, body, hair? Am i real?" I don't know how else to describe this, but that scene was accurate.
I do that too. I either feel pretty or hideous ib front of mirror. Its like there's no mental image of myself. Come to realize it, the whole file on "identity" is an error 404. Also the different emotions while just walking around. Lets not mention the intensity of emotions....
I have this too. I’ll get stuck staring at myself in the mirror and nearly dissociate while doing it. Seeing myself in the mirror is honestly really terrifying.
I detest who I've become in this life as soon as I see myself, if my very presence annoys me what do other think, and why do they even speak to me! At least the one's whom don't know the real me yet! I live in a nonexistent world in my mind! I awake and start drinking then take my valium and Methadone! I'm never me because I can't handle loosing the or again, so I hide behind substances! I've got brain damage from multiple head trauma and CTE, I also have HPPD and Anxiety Disorder and OCD! These conditions began after 10yrs of age when I watched my friend get electrocuted and die, I blamed myself for not saving him but I did more than the adults that day, after I had to go to the Police station to give a statement which really effected me. That's when my Anxiety Disorder and BPD were born. Next at 15 my older brother was murdered but they ruled it as a suicide, the case was never closed but my father because an alcoholic and violent. So I blocked out life by taking acid daily and smoking weed, many years passed and I because a heavy ecstasy and meth addict. I worked in Rave clubs and ate around 20pills each weekend mixed with whatever drug's came my way, some weekends I'd be high on 6 different substances over the weekend. Weekends turned into full weeks without sleep when Crystal came into my life, I quit for five year's then relapsed in 2011 and used Meth functionally this time, until I'd only sleep 3days every two weeks. This cycle went on for 5yrs until my father died in my Arm's at home, 3 week's later I was jumped and severely beaten almost to death by six Coward's. I suffered Bain damage from multiple skull fractured and facial fractures, jaw and broke my back and ribs, collar bone ECT...This all happened in 2016 and I went cold turkey off Meth and weed! 9 months later my mum suffered an Aneurysm and 3 strokes during her time in hospital, I know take care of her full-time and it's the only thing that keeps me away from drug's, that and my will to never go back to that life! I know drink trying to hide my emotions but I must stop but it's harder than quiting than I thought, I beat Meth but alcohol is harder because it's everywhere and I work in a bar! Jesus Christ has helped me through all these moments so that I may change and go to Heaven beside him! I've got a long way to go but time is short! Thanks for reading me pour my heart out! It helped me just getting it off my chest. God bless you 🙏
Making it seem like it’s the other person who’s causing it, or in your words the fp is breaking it and/or causing your triggers just by living essentially. Either that or I’m feeling triggered due to similar reasons
@@Joy_Dvznit’s obvious that you don’t understand the comment. It’s the trigger. I’m also going to assume you don’t understand mental illness. Because you can’t always control it. And it never goes away. It’s not the flu where once you get better it’s gone.
@@Joy_Dvznit is the other person causing it. Indirectly. The issue is the emotion cpu. Technically the other person caused it but the real issue is the bpd sufferer.
Spot on And for quiet BPD's we skip the part where we lash out at the person we're obsessed with because we're too afraid to push them away, we act cool but instead we lash out at ourselves " it's your fault if he does not text back, you're smothering him. You're so needy. It's not attractive, and you're ugly, he's probably with that girl who keeps liking his stuff on IG " And it goes on for hours until we give into some self destructive behavior like binging or starving to punishment ourselves. It gets better...please stay in treatment.
Holy shit….. I’ve been punishing myself for people treating me bad since my childhood…..My dad used to hit me so I would cut myself to punish myself for him so he wouldn’t have to punish me!!!!! I feel so crazy I could drop dead.
@@animefreak1149 I did the same, but I don’t think I have BPD. I have to wait a Year until I can actually diagnose myself, in case I have a Personality Disorder. I did a Psychopathy Test and even tho they’re not a 100% accurate(especially because I’m below 18) they are enough to warn me. It’s also increasing, since first I scored 17 out of 24, 4 months later I scored 21 out of 24 and I have a lot of Symptomps of ASPD and NPD.
My mouth dropped open while reading this, because that is exactly what I think! I realized that I am actually putting myself under the microscope when I think others are. It reflects everything back to myself.
i am both quiet and impilseve so i keep a lot to myself rage alone in my room untill overwealmed then i cant hide my emotions or rage and its down hill from their but i smoke weed most the time so i am calmer than i would be otherwise and tv shows movies and games are a good distraction espescaly when i find myself mirroring too much losing myself to someone elses intrests for long periods of time its eiser to fixate on a fictional charicter less stressfull 😂 i kind of relate to the texts one but for me its waiting for people to respond counting down how long it takes to resopnd matching their responce time how they text if they reply diffrent are they anoyed are they distancing who are they with i have too many mood changes in public and just become void and feel nothing and my memory is awfull i dont know if it makes sense my mind kinda wonders off mentaly i kind of imagin future convosasions with people losing time doing things in the background of the daydreeming or convosasions with my difrent identity states when i dont know who i am and feel like difrent people most the time
The mood swings while walking are so accurate. My mother was the first one to notice that I would be happy and pleasant and all of the sudden bitchy and miserable within minutes. Idk about others but I’ve gone through so many “favorite people” in my 32 years of life that is scary. I’m quiet and sometimes I wish I wasn’t.
I'm 36 and I can relate... I'm more quiet bpd as well but I can have my explosive rage episodes where I throw and break my own stuff but not as much in my 30s as in my teens and 20s... I feel like I only switched to more quiet BPD in my 30s because it's easier to seem "normal" to the rest of the world...
Or maybe to have someone guide us through the emotions in a healthy way so we can feel better..... That person doesn't come around tho, That's why we deal with unregulated emotions and reactions. No one gave us the love it takes to teach someone how to handle intense emotions.
4real I had to pray it away one day I was praying and worshiping non stop and I felt like this for days and was scaring myself. So I started praying to Jesus and worshiping for 15 mins seeking him and felt the healing finally work thru my body. Starting from my head down to my feet and I felt warm and fuzzy and so sleepy all of a sudden and I laid back onto my pillow and fell into a deep sleep for like 7hrs. I woke up with a sound mind and healed body it was amazing & i’ve always bn a believer in Jesus but he’s bn helping me more these past couple of years. They were they worst years of my life but he’s bn reassuring me he’s still here and hears my cries he’s so good praise to our Heavenly Father Jesus Christ😭✝️🫡❤️
People think this is dark. It's not even capable of depicting how dark BPD gets most of the times. My BPD will be the death of me. there's a a short-story novel which titel really stuck with my endless struggle with BPD. "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream" and then another book on BPD called "I don't want to die, I just don't want to live"
I'm diagnosed with BPD and have read I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream. I don't really see a correlation between both. The story did impact and disturb me, but moreso in the sense that I already heavily struggle with existentialism, and that story pushed some buttons. Is that something common for people with BPD? Yes, but existentialism is relatively common - and the story itself has fundamentally nothing to do with BPD. The main character does suffer from deep delusions of paranoia, so I guess one with BPD could relate to him, but that's kind of where the similarities end.
This is going to be painful for some of you to hear, but as someone with recovering severe quiet BPD, hold yourself accountable, and learn when to hold your tongue & soothe your own emotions without self hatred and self deprecation to avoid word salads and hurting others feelings & your own. Avoid exasperating your feelings even further than you already feel them. Projection is unacceptable. Relationships should not be a priority. Drugs make everything worse. Sit with your emotions sober until you accept them and they can’t hurt you anymore. Cry, feel the pain and then let it go. Do not cling to it. Be realistic in your approaches to all situations. Find self love. Learn to be comfortable being alone. Do things for yourself by yourself. Find independence. Stop relying on outside factors and people to regulate your self esteem and emotions. There is so much evil in the world, and so many more people that will betray you, you must protect yourself by looking inward and solidifying that self respect. Self hatred destroys progress. Have self compassion. Study your behaviours and the behaviours of BPD. Change your thought processes. Change your behaviours. Step outside of your own emotions. It is within your power and your power only to get your thoughts and behaviours under control. CBT & DBT help significantly. You have no other choice unless you want to live a miserable life. You have to be your own saviour. Be strong. Stay resilient. Be responsible. It takes hard work but life does become beautiful again. You can do it. I believe in you. 💙
Easier said than done. I have 1 person in my life due to fostercare and the sheer anxiety of them being mad at me leads me to hospital andtrying to kms. Im terrified of being alone with noone ; thays when my bpd will kill me. Instead of pushing attachwments away we gotta learn how to accept them and not stress the person we love out.
Thank you for posting this. You’ve helped me and my partner feel seen and less alone. I’ve been trying to help with her journey through it, and we’ve struggled, but I believe we’ve made progress because you put the effort you did into your comment.
This is exactly the words I needed to hear. Thank you. I already know what I need to do but it's hard to listen to the good thoughts when you're stuck in your head 24/7. So to hear it like this helps to break the cycle. I'm going to screenshot it and read it whenever I'm in that spiral down to the abyss.
Omg I actually had a breakdown because of a text message too. All the worst things you can possibly imagine go through your head, you may go alcohol or substances to cope, and then you just want to end it all
I’m scared of relationships because I don’t ever wanna argue or I’ll believe that they hate me after it, or maybe I’ll even view them differently than before and wish I’d never met them.
Texts are the worst because there’s no tone and many people leave the other person on “read” until it’s convenient to text back (which is fine! That’s the point of texting after all), but as a BPD you read into every little thing and then just have to… wait
I have borderline. It takes a LOT more than a late response and two sentences to bring me back after getting upset with the people I love most. I relate to the mood changes while walking. I started tearing up during the SH scene. I hate seeing people hurt themselves. I bang my head when I SH.
As a man with bpd, this is incredibly accurate. Missing a few things, but this is pretty much me every day. I'm so self-aware and intelligent on my disorder but I'm trapped in my own disease. There's no excuse for abuse for when you see the person through those rose-tinted glasses red flags are all red flags.
Fun fact- because one only needs 5 criteria out of 9 to meet the diagnosis- there are over 250 combinations of BPD- so everyone’s a bit different. The fear of abandonment and mood swings is pretty common in all of us tho.
This isn’t just relationships but with friendships and I just feel that I’m the problem and everyone just hates me and ask myself why would anyone want to be friends with me ? Like why? I’m such an awful person. ( I cry as I type this)
Sometimes we OVER live within ourselves..I know it's hard Not to... but it's true.. sometimes it helps to remind yourself of something So simple that a dear one once told me.. in LIFE.. sometimes it's NOT about YOU.. But them... And my friend that's okay too . Just try and take it easy on yourself . And know that someone.. Or some ONES somewhere.. will love and need YOU who YOU are... Not who you think you need to be okay ❤
yea the moment i start to accept that not everyone is for me is the moment where i slowly fee better about myself. i learn to let things happen and slowly see people for who they are instead of wanting to get their validation all the time
I have a friend with BPD who has similar thought patterns as you. It may not mean much, but I love her very much, and even when I have other commitments, I am still her friend and care about her. I know that it may not serve as much reassurance, but I am sure that your friends feel the same way about you. You are not a burden. ❤️🫂
I'm so fricken sorry for those who battle this disorder. The walking scene really got me and often I look in the mirror not connecting with myself at all. Sometimes life is pure bliss, turn the corner and everything is awful all of a sudden. Go home, get high, play games to drown out the endless voices telling me how awful I am when I don't even really know who I am. I just kind of exist; running from the past, present, and future. Every day I'm no one, doing nothing, living nowhere; in every moment I'm not there. Stay strong y'all.
@@drygordspellweaver8761it’s not intentional, now I can’t speak for all people with this disorder, but most that I’ve seen are empathetic to others that have to deal with their issues. Besides it’s easy for you to say when you don’t have to deal with wild mood swings, and a constant fear of abandonment on your shoulders, unfortunately this disorder is just very destructive both to the people around the person, and the person themselves, that’s why seeking help is the best solution before things continue to escalate.
@@Yams-Hams7734 There you go, defending the victimizers and blaming the victim like you always do. And what good is "empathy" if it only lasts 4 hours before the next bout of insane abuse and violence? Also completely disregarding any responsibility like you always do. "You don't have to deal with wild mood swings". As if you don't have a choice. Almost EVERYONE has emotions, it doesn't give us the right to lash out at people the way you do.
this video is extremely underated. i personally have bpd and this is exactly what it's like to have it. Constant mood swings, fear of abandonment and enganging in risky or dangerous behavior. i live everyday just like this and it is absolutely tormenting. this video is really amazing, i really want to know the guy in this video because he seems pretty cool
Just know that we can recover. For me it happened in my 30’s when I finally hit bottom and sought sobriety. They say that some of us just outgrow it because we learn how to manage our emotions and actions over time- esp if we learned that they create disastrous consequences for ourselves. But learning DBT skills is a must IMO.
Having bpd is like being in a real life horror movie. There have been plenty of times where I crawl on the floor like the grudge or the exorcist, I start clawing at myself from pain and horror, fear, abandonment, betrayal. I scream or yell. And I can’t scream I begin to sing loudly random songs that talk about how I’m feeling at the moment. It’s scary. I stare in the mirror and I swear I see hundreds of personalities all looking back.
You have demons. I thought my problems were earthly this whole time: I got into fitness, starting eating better, starting growing a pair and talking to women out in public - all these things that should have made my life & mood dramatically better but it DIDN’T. I had the presence of the Devil in my soul and needed Jesus to save me.
What is fucking wrong with you both☠️☠️ they talk and share stuff abt their BPD and how it’s scary and you go on abt how they want attention and how she needs Jesus??? PLEASE keep that to yourself or better yet not click on this video bc I think u missed the point lmao
I had no idea this is what BPD is like. My ex girlfriend, who I was madly in love with, suffered from this. Time has passed (4 years) but my emotions towards her feel like they were brought out when this video played. Ultimately, I wanted to be there to support her and to have a happy life. I still want that for her. This gives me some insight to maybe what she was going through when we dated.. My heart goes out to everyone with BPD and those around them. Much love to you all
i can’t do relationships man. i hate how fast my mood changes too. i feel like having this condition has taken a toll in my life with others as well. sometimes i don’t even feel like i’m real at all. i take prescription and it makes me feel numb with no emotions at all. it’s hard having to deal with this on a daily basis.
I came to this realization too and told my ex that when we broke up. I just can’t do it. I feel like I’m in constant crisis and my immediate reaction 9 times out of 10 is anger. I smoke weed and know I shouldn’t but I’m trying so hard to find some sort of enjoyment and pleasure b4 I end up kms. People don’t know how hard ts actually is. It makes life not worth living, your own brain is attacking you and there are very few ways to shut it off. I don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship again, still coming to terms but I think it’s for the best.
As a quiet borderline, this would've been what happens to me daily if I actually speak my mind and let out my emotions, instead of this I just stay chronically empty drowning myself in self loathing. Great video, I wish you all well
When you were on behind the door and sitting on the floor...making faint sounds - I busted down crying b/c I know that scene all too well. The grunts triggered extreme sadness in me, that we harm ourselves just to feel release from the intense shit we go through. You gave an honest example of some of the things us BPD go through....TY! Keep spreading awareness - !!!!
More awareness: Most women with bpd are actually narcissistic women who didn't face well rejection from top tier men. I can go on explaining this detailedly.
This is me 🥲 Worst I do is smoke pot and stay up too late. I cry on the inside and panic on the inside. All of it on the inside.. Youll never know. It is my burden.
@@hillaryconsultingservices any way to numb how you feel is not good. Weed, and any other unhealthy thing that gives you escapism, seems like it’s helping you feel better for a couple of months and then it doesn’t anymore leaving you even worse than you were before because you’ve developed a bad habit or an addiction. Your emotions always catch up to you. It’s scary but it’s better to feel them and practice healthy coping mechanisms ♡
@@hillaryconsultingservices I wouldn't recommend cannabis for anyone suffering from a disorder which features any form of psychosis as a common symptom - which BPD is a case of. I have BPD myself and have never smoked for that reason.
I think I might actually have bpd. I’ve always felt things in extremes, I’ve had unstable relationships and attachments my whole life, and I consistently do lash out either at myself and much less often the other person, I calm down quick and realize usually the moment after I hurt them and immediately start apologizing. I think mostly it just presents internally, and looking back at my entire history especially recently it’s like fuck. The pattern is there
Maybe you should try to get a diagnosis to be sure. I never knew what was wrong with my intense emotional reactions until I got diagnosed at the age of 50. Been 5 years since. I am glad I can explain to people now what triggers me and which lines not to cross with me to avoid nasty situations like in the past. And now I know how to watch out and remove myself from situations which will cause great emotional stress for me.
It’s always worth talking to a GP. I had issues all throughout my adolescence but could never receive a diagnosis as they claimed i was ‘too young’ and didnt want to assign a label to me under 18, in case I grew out of it. And i never did. But there were still a lot of steps before receiving a diagnosis, and a lot of possible alternatives, because the symptoms of BPD overlap a shit ton with a lot of other conditions. So please find someone that can assess you.
@@EvanBateman1People who assess you just put a lucky guess and hope they guessed correctly, you will know deep down, you know yourself better than anyone else.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
As someone with bpd, felt so hard on the messages. When I would text “ I love you” and he left me on seen for like 10 mins. And then said “ love you tooo” I would reply and say why did it take you so long do you actually love me. Did I do something. I wish my bpd wasn’t looked as toxic. I seriously have a mental issue. And when he texted me back “ no I love you I promise you” I felt so reassured especially after he sent me a paragraph.
All I can say is stop eating shit, stop drinking, stop drugs, stop looking outside of yourself for validations, start forcing the truth on yourself. I can relate to everything in this video, that was me in my younger days. You must find the courage to look inside.
1000% agree! It’s a real battle of the mind and you have to change your diet… food wise as well as the content your read, watch and listen to! The power lies within you.
@beautybychaela I thought useing pink salt from the health shop would be a good healthy choice but I was wrong for my particular system, the magnesium content in it sent me deeply depressed and irritable plus contributing to stomach issues, 3 days after stopping it I felt heaps better. Hope this info helps some people learn how to see even healthy foods are deadly to some.
Same I'm ngl I literally act the same way my moods just rapidly change throughout the day over a fucking text. Like I thought it was something else but I've actually been diagnosed with BPD and I act the same fucking way.
I was diagnosed with BPD. Though I work in a medschool, ppl around me, didn't even treat me well. So i moved out and got a separate room, had regular counseling and started working on what could be changed around me. This vid , Ngl , is wildly accurate.
As bpd, until now... I feel a chronic empty. I struggle to find happiness but still, every feeling didn't stay for long enough, my mood changed fast..until suicidal thoughts hit me, and I'm tired. The scene standing in the mirror is very accurate. I always punish myself when every time my plan didn't go well. I'm asking myself a lot "Why I am existing in this world when I am a failure person." idk what to tell my psy when the tca. sometimes I feel triggered when my psy doesn't treat me well and hear my story completely. Pardon my bad English.
I was diagnosed with BPD 20 years ago as a teenage. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
Yes he's Dr.benfungi.Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
This had been my whole entire life. I could never have a relationship, I would always have drastic mood swings, multiple swings within an hour. I would look in the mirror for around 10 minutes sometimes , just looking at my unrecognizable face. I would self harm to feel something, and then when my mood swings hit, I would put it away and not even think of it at that moment, like I forgot.
@@ALGARIC Yes I do. They don't go away, and they happen with my friend and family too. I'm currently in a very nice, loving relationship with a man. His mother has BPD. We've been together for almost 9 months now, and I think this relationship is going somewhere! Just last night I had hyperventilated and collapsed, and he helped me through it so well, I called him while crying and he knew just how to ground me and calm me down. He's helping me find myself and learn to love myself. The 20th of last December I ran away from my foster home, and I'm currently staying with my friends family, recovering from self harm and an eating disorder. I'm just now seeing this comment after 11 months, and reflecting on how much has changed has been nice. Thanks for bringing me back to it.
@@p3talsdotpngBe thankful you have a man. I don't even have a girlfriend or wife, i can go days without anyone texting me. All i have going for me is pot. Friends that never ever hit me up talking about how i feel. I have to reach out to them, why should i always have to reach out???? I'm not asking for alot, i would just apprieciate someone checking up on me once in a while. Fake ass people, i might just become an ass to everyone. Cold ass world. Its worse when people know what youre going through and give you the "talk to me anytime you feel down." Mf i feel down everyday. How about you check up on me somwtimes? Im not going to want to open up to people all the time.
I’ve been working hard to heal myself from this for the last few years. For once in my life I feel in control. Thankful for these types of videos bringing awareness to people all over.
this is brilliantly done, for bringing awareness to the fact both men and women can have the illness - the mirror shot, the red room with the dark door dimly lit, the drinking alone, everything. as someone whos had 2 friends pass from bpd and also personally have trouble w symptoms at times this is beautiful. you'll make a great psych (-:
I remember the feeling so clearly, the extreme fear of abandonment, losing control, the deadly jealousy. But the worst of them all, - was the feeling of never being satisfied, constantly craving more & more love, affection, attention, that always ended up people leaving me..... My skin, my organs, every cell in my body felt like burning, and I could litterally feel psycical pain coming from my heart. 😢 Over 20 years of being a borderline slave, I decided to set myself free. TODAY..... - I AM HEALED 🙏 BORDERLINE ER IKKE EN UHELBREDELIG SYGDOM, HEAL DIG SELV ❤
I relate to this so much. The mirror, depersonalisation, splitting, self sabotage, the moodswings even while walking, tried to go somewhere I’m way better now but so hard to control emotions and actions while episode. But it is possible and you have to get treatment to help yourself and people around you ❤❤❤❤❤
This video showed me just how much I’ve improved only being in therapy for 2 almost 3 years and boy am I grateful. Childhood me was an unhealthy externaliser, adult me is an introverted internaliser (quiet BPD)
Even the fast texting & ine message after another is so me. Its not even that deep, other people lack communication skills. Like, if you don't wanna be around me, just go, don't pull me close and them push me away & then go silent & ignore me & get mad that I'm like what's going on? Don't waste my efforts, energy, emotions & life. I've really learned after all the self blaming after people using me as a punching bag that it's many others who are more of the problem than me. It's starting to seem like I'm actually quite chill as long as they're not around. Cut em off bruhh
This film is amazingly done, why only couple of thousands views? What is wrong with people? It is art right here, so well documented. Let’s get sharing to make the owner of the video famous.
Thank you for making this. The mood swings while walking are eerily accurate. Things always go from 0 to 100 for what seems to be absolutely no reason. This is very difficult to explain to others, and difficult to watch, but I feel seen.
Man I don’t have BPD but I can only imagine what it’s like for those who have it, I’m so sorry you all have to struggle like this, it hurts me to see people go through such mental torment and to see people with BPD suffer makes my heart shatter. To whoever is reading this and has BPD, know that your struggles do not define you and that you are valid and your emotions and problems are valid. What you go through is very real and you as an individual matter so much. Never forget who you are and realize that society was not built off normal people but instead was built off unique people with their own struggles and challenges. So instead of hating yourself learn to embrace your unique qualities learn to become comfortable with you. Because at the end of the day there’s no one truly like you ❤️❤️❤️🫶🏼 I love you all and am wishing you all a very wonderful day/night.
I think this captures the undiagnosed and younger people. I don't think most adults with bpd would react as severely to a text and if they do they definitely need to analyze and reflect more.
Well yeah but…. BPD and most people with type B disorders have no empathy for others and they generally don’t feel remorse for when they lash out. These people think it’s quirky and silly to rage on everyone, then they go back to smoking their cheap w33d to induce another panic attack when the effects die down at like 7:30 pm.
Its a nightmare with no cure. I hate it. Remember is not your fault that you have it, just remember its up to you to control it once you realize you have it.
Let me Tell you guys im 32 got borderline and bipolar disorder and i can Tell any of you guys IT WILL GET BETTER!!! You will learn how to deal with the mood changes and you will See humans arent as Bad as we think
This is why more focus needs to be put on this disorder so people with bpd can get help to regulate their feelings. It’s hell to walk through this disorder without getting proper help. To all with bpd if possible then educate yourself about the disorder and find answers from your upbringing. Many answers will be found there. If it’s not possible to walk that way, then it’s still possible to heal. MBT and DAT are great therapy forms. Be very if using the internet. There is a lot of misconceptions out there. So give yourself the ability to take what you can use and throw out the rest. There will be a lot of hurt people out there, who’s been close to people with BPD and some of them are angry and tells a lot of untrue things about what BPD is. BPD is a lot of things - it doesn’t mean that we are all the same. People with BPD struggles and need to learn how to calm their inner thoughts. It takes time, years, decades or even a lifetime. And one of the things I’d like to put to the grave once and for all is that people with BPD lacks empathy. That’s is not true. People with BPD of all people have more empathy than most - the issue is, that when they feel hurt, they often react without thinking clearly and to others that looks like rage, craziness, egoism and so on - but what you are looking at is a human being struggling with really bad inner out of control thoughts and emotions. After such an episode the sadness and self blaming rules and then the apologies for hurting others comes. It’s a circle. It’s possible to learn how to break that circle. I’ve done it myself and even though I find myself in situations now and then where it’s repeated I still manage to break the circle much faster and my closed one’s knows how to help me out of it as well. We don’t get severely hurt by it anymore and we are able to move on pretty fast. I still work on myself to become a better me. I’ll do this til the day I die.
This was so hard to watch. When he got the knife I just started bawling. I don't know what it was about it; it just triggered this powerful anguish for this person in an educational video. No one should ever feel that unloved.
This is mental 😂 I've stopped doing this, and another tip: don't immediately reply !!! Don't immediately open the text!!! Take time to think it through
I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years. With so much anxiety Not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatmentPsilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
BPD can be improved with therapy, DBT, meds, and a lot of self awareness and a loss of victim mentality (in my own experience)… it’s not easier but you can grow more tolerant of the highs and lows, and become less sensitive to other’s perception and reactions, and you can lose some need for external validation… it’s hard work but ten years into the work I feel a million times better
Meds are just suppressing it, putting a band aid over the symptoms like any other substance, with a bunch of different side effects, the only difference is it is legal. You can't expect to be on them forever, anything can happen. They are chemical lobotomies. If you were diagnosed with a mental disorder in the early 1900s they would force you into the psych ward and cut a piece of your brain out, and also, they would pump you full of electricity and fry your brain into mush, tied to a bed in restraints or doing the thorazine shuffle down the hallway, or locked in a room with a straight jacket. Now all they have to do is shove toxic chemicals down your throat and wait until you either die from the side effects or you unalive yourselves. That is because they have this agenda called eugenics, for a long time now. They don't give a damn about any of us. Time to start getting closer to the Most High through His son Yahusha aka Jesus because things are about to look like a scifi horror movie or video game but in real life. Time to open the bible.
Meds? 😂😂😂, nice joke mate. The health industry needs sick people to make money, meds won't help you. Shrooms and weed can help though, hence why its illegal and highly restricted, otherwise healthy people means less money for the health profession.
The part when he drinks then everything goes red is so real for me. I’ve always felt a red cloud around me when I get upset. This video is amazing the accuracy is incredible.
omfg I've never seen a more accurate of bpd, no one around me seems to acknowledge I've been diagnosed with bpd, I'll send them links or videos to try and explain my past behaviour and they reply with something totally unrelated. But watching this made me realise I'm not the only one! I knew loads of us was diagnosed BPD but to actually know these things happen to other people, it makes me feel less lonely in a lonely world, thank you again 😊
i had the same problem at first, but then i realized that if someone wants to educate themselves on what it is we have to go through then they will. they’ll do it because they care and then want you to stay. my partner eventually took the effort to educate himself and has been able to offer a more gentle and patient response to my breakdowns and reassurance when i’m overthinking
It is important to change your “self talk”, in order to overcome some of the negative feelings that come with bpd. I used to be sooo mean to myself! My daughter pointed it out. It’s taken time, and obviously I still have difficult times; but telling myself, “it’s ok, you’re doing great sweetie, it’s just patterned behaviors”. Then learning to calm my heart rate, via breathing and holding my breath helps too. I don’t know that the “personality” ever goes away, but it’s definitely manageable with awareness!! Just fyi, it’s a lot of work!! Constant self talk, since almost all of my initial thoughts are negative. 🤪
I feel like screaming at people to wake up. I’m sat at night looking out my window and noticing how silent it is outside for a world full of life, how we are so strange in that we just do as told and live this enslaved life. I never used to think like this and I had hopes and dreams but since accepting death is round the corner for me I feel like we’re all being lied to and by the time most of us stop to question everything is when we’re dying, some may not even then. I’m starting to believe this is like the Truman show or the Matrix.
i felt this honestly i never really lash out at people like that because i have a more quiet presentation but the emotional swings in this were very relatable. like a lot of the time i can ruminate over text messages, thinking people are going to abandon me, feel absolutely horrible. hurt myself over it and then they text back and its like in my head "oh everythings fine again" they don't want to leave and i feel like i was silly for feeling the way i felt but i can't exactly help it yk? i feel like its different for every person with bpd though
You don't need to tick every box to qualify. I'm seeing a lot of people pushing the cptsd thing onto people which is odd, it's not for strangers on the internet to push a diagnosis onto someone.
Wow…. Heart breaking. What a great great great!!! Representation of BPD. This is very accurate. You really did a great job creating the film. I almost cried. The constant anguish & sadness that BPD people carry around is devastating when longing to be loved & never abandoned. & the mirror scene tooooo accurate.
My ups and downs are because I wanna be happy but so many people aren't and it ruins my vibe so then I'm like just be sad it's "normal". People just won't let us be happy and they love complicating things.
Pretty accurate, I had terrible BPD until I started DBT. Luckily mine seemed to lessen by the year and now I don't fit the criteria anymore but have so much empathy
Lemme tell ya... Nobody is perfect. But unaided BPD makes for a NIGHTMARE parent. Please seek aid, neither you nor anyone around you has to live like this. You are not alone.
I cannot believe someone actually summed up my 20s in under 3 minutes. I stopped going to therapy because she wanted to diagnose me with BPD. It terrified me and I disagreed with it. But I can relate to this so hard. (I am now in my 30s and doing great.)
When he slid that cereal I said THATS ME 😭😂😭😭 A few points mind you .. you can be hypo manic and be seeing things in like a “happy light” while simultaneously doing things unintentionally that would mess up your life or situation etc in the future or present .. bpd is serious I’m just learning bout my disorder and it’s def a struggle but WE SHALL PRESS ON BROTHA
i kind of relate to the texts one but for me its waiting for people to respond counting down how long it takes to resopnd matching their responce time how they text if they reply diffrent are they anoyed are they distancing who are they with i have too many mood changes in public and just become void and feel nothing to get throught it cant leave the house for 5 minets without being stressed and my memory is awfull i dont know if anyone else kinda wonders off mentaly i kind of imagin future convosasions with people losing time doing things in the background of the daydreeming or convosasions with my difrent identity states i hate looking in the miror knowing the body is mine even though i see a stranger then looking at my limbs its awfull worse when stressed
Holy shit, the texting rage in the beginning took me the fuck out. It's like the person with BPD fears abandonment and being replaced. Sounds like me asf. But not as severe. I might have low-grade BPD.
I once dated a woman who has BPD, I didn't understand it at the time. But I would get an abusive texts all the time from her it was so bad to the point it was effecting my mental health. We only dated/meet twice before I ended it cos I just could not handle her abusive texts :(. She said she was getting help and was on medication but again I don't know, she was also very paranoid that her food would poison her and has a lot of stalkers or exs after her. Did I do the right thing to leave her or does with the right help or medication helps/works? or is there is no cure and that them self must learn to self control and someone to date the person having a thick skin and understands why they go through with their emotions?
there’s no direct cure for BPD. There are SSRIs for the depressive side and anti-psychotics for the manic aspect. DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) is promising and if i recall correctly around 80% of people heal from the disorder within 10 years.
As someone with severe BPD you did the right thing this person is extremely mentally unwell and would've definitely caused you alot of mental pain. There is no cure but after a 1-2 years of DBT can help manage the disorder to an acceptable extent but the symptoms can always come back in times of stress or instability.
Omg. This was the most real video I've ever watched about how I feel. text messages or calls in which I feel that the person I like is strange to me, that alone triggers violent crises in me. That's why I gave up, and walked away from relationships.
I honestly have a theory as a survivor of bpd (was diagnosed at 18 now 34 and not one single symptom) after finding God a few years back it 100% solidified that personality disorders are absolutely spiritual battles. I believe as children we are highly susceptible to the spirit realm, and if we are not protected by Jesus then we are fair game for the enemy. Now normally with a decent upbringing that could result in normal teen angst etc but as a child developing through their state of psychosis, if they are being abused they will look for anything to latch onto for safety and security. Cue the demon. A demon enters just like ..... surprise! Just like how a narcissist would. How ironic it's the same playbook.. The demon love bombs the child and grooms the child into believing "don't worry, I'll be here for you, I'll be your protector" so the borderline is the first step of infiltration where I believe the demon didn't fully integrate with the child but remained and outside extension. Hence why the borderline is always looking to the outside to tell them who they are but luckily this is good because it means they can be helped once that external part is cut off and replaced with God. Now a narc unfortunately is the full development of when that demon enmeshes with their entire identity. Which is why the narc needs to pull people into "their world" they live in a constant state of psychosis because they officially live in that demons reality. The borderline was always bordering on psychosis which is why they felt more tortured because half of them was trying to escape KNOWING something is very wrong and the narc just completely gave into that state as their entire formed identity. Sad both ways but it makes SO much sense now that God showed me.
I agree 100% and have experienced similar knowings when God found me. Interesting how that happens. This is exactly how I feel and exactly what I’ve been saying to a few people that I trust. Mental illness and personality disorders are really spiritual battles. For me personally, God has and continues to help me process my emotions, the torment is still there but I’m able to acknowledge my emotions, ask for help and course correct a lot better than in the past. Thank you for sharing this, God bless you!
The mood swings while walking… I never realized I do this until you pointed it out. I’ve always just seen it as like myself having internal dialogue😅 and my internal dialogue goes WILD🥶
My girlfriend has bpd & it’s been so difficult on my end cause i’ve never delt with anyone like this. From the beginning for a long time i’ve been nothing but understanding, but over time it’s so difficult to constantly be accused of things when you’re in a happy mood, she always has to say rude comments like “who are you putting makeup on for” “who are you posting for” etc. & i live with her & she knows every corner of my phone, is always knowing who i talk to which is only about 4 people & its not even everyday. I stay in the room besides when i walk me dog & we never go anywhere without each other. I never knew the relationship was going to be like this & i love her so much, but it feels very straining & hurts me. Idk what to do. This video reminded me a lot of her.
It will never get better. Only worse. I speak from experience, borderlines will consume every aspect about you, then blame you when they leave you broken and alone. Leave while you can. The person you love doesn't really exist. That's a mask the borderline wears to get you hooked. The mask will slip, and then things get bad. So, so very bad. Please, for your own sake, leave.
As someone who’s been in recovery/healing process of the bpd symptoms, looking back post-recovery/healing, I can’t help but notice it’s really just emotional immaturity and emotional intolerance mostly due to trauma ,I’m really glad I’ve practiced and put all my effort into learning the skills to not be like that 🙏
The ending tho... when they text "I wont leave you" the feeling of anxiety leaves but you know deep down you're just going to go through it again...
Extremely accurate
Its like a fix
U KNOW TOO MUCH, DONT LET HİM RUN GUYS!
That seems like a lot of pressure on the other person.
@@leehalloway8787it's hard for both
The mood changes while just walking around are too accurate
Literally as someone diagnosed with this I agree
Idk if I have bpd but my mood changes within seconds when I'm in public, like the feeling that I feel the most is anxiety
I didn't know that was a BPD thing
another thing i gotta feel weird about lmaoo
I thought the same .. 100%
@@therealandonlyjordanrosefr
The standing in front of the mirror really hit home for me.
A lot of times I have no idea who I am and then I look in the mirror and "Is this really me? Is this my face, body, hair? Am i real?" I don't know how else to describe this, but that scene was accurate.
I do that too. I either feel pretty or hideous ib front of mirror. Its like there's no mental image of myself. Come to realize it, the whole file on "identity" is an error 404. Also the different emotions while just walking around. Lets not mention the intensity of emotions....
I feel wicked and disgusted bymself when i stare deeply into my eyes
That might be derealization.
I have this too. I’ll get stuck staring at myself in the mirror and nearly dissociate while doing it. Seeing myself in the mirror is honestly really terrifying.
I detest who I've become in this life as soon as I see myself, if my very presence annoys me what do other think, and why do they even speak to me! At least the one's whom don't know the real me yet! I live in a nonexistent world in my mind! I awake and start drinking then take my valium and Methadone! I'm never me because I can't handle loosing the or again, so I hide behind substances! I've got brain damage from multiple head trauma and CTE, I also have HPPD and Anxiety Disorder and OCD! These conditions began after 10yrs of age when I watched my friend get electrocuted and die, I blamed myself for not saving him but I did more than the adults that day, after I had to go to the Police station to give a statement which really effected me. That's when my Anxiety Disorder and BPD were born. Next at 15 my older brother was murdered but they ruled it as a suicide, the case was never closed but my father because an alcoholic and violent. So I blocked out life by taking acid daily and smoking weed, many years passed and I because a heavy ecstasy and meth addict. I worked in Rave clubs and ate around 20pills each weekend mixed with whatever drug's came my way, some weekends I'd be high on 6 different substances over the weekend. Weekends turned into full weeks without sleep when Crystal came into my life, I quit for five year's then relapsed in 2011 and used Meth functionally this time, until I'd only sleep 3days every two weeks. This cycle went on for 5yrs until my father died in my Arm's at home, 3 week's later I was jumped and severely beaten almost to death by six Coward's. I suffered Bain damage from multiple skull fractured and facial fractures, jaw and broke my back and ribs, collar bone ECT...This all happened in 2016 and I went cold turkey off Meth and weed! 9 months later my mum suffered an Aneurysm and 3 strokes during her time in hospital, I know take care of her full-time and it's the only thing that keeps me away from drug's, that and my will to never go back to that life! I know drink trying to hide my emotions but I must stop but it's harder than quiting than I thought, I beat Meth but alcohol is harder because it's everywhere and I work in a bar! Jesus Christ has helped me through all these moments so that I may change and go to Heaven beside him! I've got a long way to go but time is short! Thanks for reading me pour my heart out! It helped me just getting it off my chest. God bless you 🙏
Nothing triggers *a day* like your favorite person breaking your positive emotional feedback loop by having regular-ass obligations
Making it seem like it’s the other person who’s causing it, or in your words the fp is breaking it and/or causing your triggers just by living essentially. Either that or I’m feeling triggered due to similar reasons
@@Joy_Dvznit’s obvious that you don’t understand the comment. It’s the trigger. I’m also going to assume you don’t understand mental illness. Because you can’t always control it. And it never goes away. It’s not the flu where once you get better it’s gone.
@@Joy_Dvznit is the other person causing it. Indirectly. The issue is the emotion cpu. Technically the other person caused it but the real issue is the bpd sufferer.
It's worse on the other side man. When people judge you for literally being a human fucking being and not a perfect diety
@@scaredhvh1yeah but that’s not really their fault. You just have to learn to deal with it
Spot on
And for quiet BPD's we skip the part where we lash out at the person we're obsessed with because we're too afraid to push them away, we act cool but instead we lash out at ourselves " it's your fault if he does not text back, you're smothering him. You're so needy. It's not attractive, and you're ugly, he's probably with that girl who keeps liking his stuff on IG " And it goes on for hours until we give into some self destructive behavior like binging or starving to punishment ourselves. It gets better...please stay in treatment.
Holy shit….. I’ve been punishing myself for people treating me bad since my childhood…..My dad used to hit me so I would cut myself to punish myself for him so he wouldn’t have to punish me!!!!! I feel so crazy I could drop dead.
@@animefreak1149 I did the same, but I don’t think I have BPD. I have to wait a Year until I can actually diagnose myself, in case I have a Personality Disorder. I did a Psychopathy Test and even tho they’re not a 100% accurate(especially because I’m below 18) they are enough to warn me. It’s also increasing, since first I scored 17 out of 24, 4 months later I scored 21 out of 24 and I have a lot of Symptomps of ASPD and NPD.
My mouth dropped open while reading this, because that is exactly what I think! I realized that I am actually putting myself under the microscope when I think others are. It reflects everything back to myself.
i am both quiet and impilseve so i keep a lot to myself rage alone in my room untill overwealmed then i cant hide my emotions or rage and its down hill from their but i smoke weed most the time so i am calmer than i would be otherwise and tv shows movies and games are a good distraction espescaly when i find myself mirroring too much losing myself to someone elses intrests for long periods of time its eiser to fixate on a fictional charicter less stressfull 😂 i kind of relate to the texts one but for me its waiting for people to respond counting down how long it takes to resopnd matching their responce time how they text if they reply diffrent are they anoyed are they distancing who are they with i have too many mood changes in public and just become void and feel nothing and my memory is awfull i dont know if it makes sense my mind kinda wonders off mentaly i kind of imagin future convosasions with people losing time doing things in the background of the daydreeming or convosasions with my difrent identity states when i dont know who i am and feel like difrent people most the time
This is my wife
The mood swings while walking are so accurate. My mother was the first one to notice that I would be happy and pleasant and all of the sudden bitchy and miserable within minutes. Idk about others but I’ve gone through so many “favorite people” in my 32 years of life that is scary. I’m quiet and sometimes I wish I wasn’t.
I'm 36 and I can relate... I'm more quiet bpd as well but I can have my explosive rage episodes where I throw and break my own stuff but not as much in my 30s as in my teens and 20s... I feel like I only switched to more quiet BPD in my 30s because it's easier to seem "normal" to the rest of the world...
I’m the exact same way. You need Lord Jesus Christ, we cannot save ourselves from issues such as this that do not make total sense to the human mind.
Question: Do you ever re-friend any of your favorite people from your past? or are you ok with never having them in your life again?
I feel like this is just scratching the surface. The range of emotions and the intensity at times makes it feel like you need an emotional exorcism.
Or maybe to have someone guide us through the emotions in a healthy way so we can feel better..... That person doesn't come around tho, That's why we deal with unregulated emotions and reactions. No one gave us the love it takes to teach someone how to handle intense emotions.
@@lostjunglist8704 Very true.
4real I had to pray it away one day I was praying and worshiping non stop and I felt like this for days and was scaring myself. So I started praying to Jesus and worshiping for 15 mins seeking him and felt the healing finally work thru my body. Starting from my head down to my feet and I felt warm and fuzzy and so sleepy all of a sudden and I laid back onto my pillow and fell into a deep sleep for like 7hrs. I woke up with a sound mind and healed body it was amazing & i’ve always bn a believer in Jesus but he’s bn helping me more these past couple of years. They were they worst years of my life but he’s bn reassuring me he’s still here and hears my cries he’s so good praise to our Heavenly Father Jesus Christ😭✝️🫡❤️
@@lostjunglist8704This.
BPD does seem to be spiritual ...
People think this is dark. It's not even capable of depicting how dark BPD gets most of the times. My BPD will be the death of me. there's a a short-story novel which titel really stuck with my endless struggle with BPD.
"I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream" and then another book on BPD called "I don't want to die, I just don't want to live"
How did I have no mouth relate to bpd for you? Was it am or the humans?
No BPD here and I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream fucked me up for years
@@pounchoutz damn, so you wouldn’t recommend others read it?
I'm diagnosed with BPD and have read I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream. I don't really see a correlation between both. The story did impact and disturb me, but moreso in the sense that I already heavily struggle with existentialism, and that story pushed some buttons. Is that something common for people with BPD? Yes, but existentialism is relatively common - and the story itself has fundamentally nothing to do with BPD. The main character does suffer from deep delusions of paranoia, so I guess one with BPD could relate to him, but that's kind of where the similarities end.
@@20000dino awesome, thank you
This is going to be painful for some of you to hear, but as someone with recovering severe quiet BPD, hold yourself accountable, and learn when to hold your tongue & soothe your own emotions without self hatred and self deprecation to avoid word salads and hurting others feelings & your own. Avoid exasperating your feelings even further than you already feel them. Projection is unacceptable. Relationships should not be a priority. Drugs make everything worse. Sit with your emotions sober until you accept them and they can’t hurt you anymore. Cry, feel the pain and then let it go. Do not cling to it. Be realistic in your approaches to all situations. Find self love. Learn to be comfortable being alone. Do things for yourself by yourself. Find independence. Stop relying on outside factors and people to regulate your self esteem and emotions. There is so much evil in the world, and so many more people that will betray you, you must protect yourself by looking inward and solidifying that self respect. Self hatred destroys progress. Have self compassion. Study your behaviours and the behaviours of BPD. Change your thought processes. Change your behaviours. Step outside of your own emotions. It is within your power and your power only to get your thoughts and behaviours under control. CBT & DBT help significantly. You have no other choice unless you want to live a miserable life. You have to be your own saviour. Be strong. Stay resilient. Be responsible. It takes hard work but life does become beautiful again. You can do it. I believe in you. 💙
Solid advice. I try really hard to pause before reacting. Some days it works and other days not so much.
Easier said than done. I have 1 person in my life due to fostercare and the sheer anxiety of them being mad at me leads me to hospital andtrying to kms. Im terrified of being alone with noone ; thays when my bpd will kill me. Instead of pushing attachwments away we gotta learn how to accept them and not stress the person we love out.
Thank you for posting this. You’ve helped me and my partner feel seen and less alone. I’ve been trying to help with her journey through it, and we’ve struggled, but I believe we’ve made progress because you put the effort you did into your comment.
@@williamrossman2136 Thank you
This is exactly the words I needed to hear. Thank you. I already know what I need to do but it's hard to listen to the good thoughts when you're stuck in your head 24/7. So to hear it like this helps to break the cycle. I'm going to screenshot it and read it whenever I'm in that spiral down to the abyss.
Omg I actually had a breakdown because of a text message too. All the worst things you can possibly imagine go through your head, you may go alcohol or substances to cope, and then you just want to end it all
Yes!
I’m scared of relationships because I don’t ever wanna argue or I’ll believe that they hate me after it, or maybe I’ll even view them differently than before and wish I’d never met them.
I get triggered when I say “hey babe❤️” and I get back “hey” like where’s my heart?
Texts are the worst because there’s no tone and many people leave the other person on “read” until it’s convenient to text back (which is fine! That’s the point of texting after all), but as a BPD you read into every little thing and then just have to… wait
When you text a message you are aging in the now time.
I have borderline. It takes a LOT more than a late response and two sentences to bring me back after getting upset with the people I love most. I relate to the mood changes while walking. I started tearing up during the SH scene. I hate seeing people hurt themselves. I bang my head when I SH.
When I SH, I also bang my head. I have bad compulsive spending habits too. Watching this vid & reading the comments hit home.
What's SH
@@uninspiredclover2771 Self harm
@@uninspiredclover2771self h@rm
@@uninspiredclover2771SH - self harm
This is one of the best videos I've seen demonstrating how a disorder is. Very good for teaching others about psychological disorders. Great work
he must be in savannah
For me it's completely unrelatable =/
As a man with bpd, this is incredibly accurate. Missing a few things, but this is pretty much me every day. I'm so self-aware and intelligent on my disorder but I'm trapped in my own disease. There's no excuse for abuse for when you see the person through those rose-tinted glasses red flags are all red flags.
I feel you!
what do you think was missing ?
Fun fact- because one only needs 5 criteria out of 9 to meet the diagnosis- there are over 250 combinations of BPD- so everyone’s a bit different. The fear of abandonment and mood swings is pretty common in all of us tho.
This isn’t just relationships but with friendships and I just feel that I’m the problem and everyone just hates me and ask myself why would anyone want to be friends with me ? Like why? I’m such an awful person. ( I cry as I type this)
Sometimes we OVER live within ourselves..I know it's hard Not to... but it's true.. sometimes it helps to remind yourself of something So simple that a dear one once told me.. in LIFE.. sometimes it's NOT about YOU.. But them... And my friend that's okay too . Just try and take it easy on yourself . And know that someone.. Or some ONES somewhere.. will love and need YOU who YOU are... Not who you think you need to be okay ❤
yea the moment i start to accept that not everyone is for me is the moment where i slowly fee better about myself. i learn to let things happen and slowly see people for who they are instead of wanting to get their validation all the time
I have a friend with BPD who has similar thought patterns as you. It may not mean much, but I love her very much, and even when I have other commitments, I am still her friend and care about her. I know that it may not serve as much reassurance, but I am sure that your friends feel the same way about you. You are not a burden. ❤️🫂
I'm so fricken sorry for those who battle this disorder. The walking scene really got me and often I look in the mirror not connecting with myself at all. Sometimes life is pure bliss, turn the corner and everything is awful all of a sudden. Go home, get high, play games to drown out the endless voices telling me how awful I am when I don't even really know who I am. I just kind of exist; running from the past, present, and future. Every day I'm no one, doing nothing, living nowhere; in every moment I'm not there.
Stay strong y'all.
Go workout instead of smoking and playing games. Ofcourse that makes it worse
why don't you feel sorry for the 'favorite persons' that get tormented by your kind instead?
@@drygordspellweaver8761 by your kind??? Ew you're weird.
@@drygordspellweaver8761it’s not intentional, now I can’t speak for all people with this disorder, but most that I’ve seen are empathetic to others that have to deal with their issues. Besides it’s easy for you to say when you don’t have to deal with wild mood swings, and a constant fear of abandonment on your shoulders, unfortunately this disorder is just very destructive both to the people around the person, and the person themselves, that’s why seeking help is the best solution before things continue to escalate.
@@Yams-Hams7734 There you go, defending the victimizers and blaming the victim like you always do. And what good is "empathy" if it only lasts 4 hours before the next bout of insane abuse and violence?
Also completely disregarding any responsibility like you always do. "You don't have to deal with wild mood swings". As if you don't have a choice. Almost EVERYONE has emotions, it doesn't give us the right to lash out at people the way you do.
21 years and I'm just now finding out that this isn't normal. The immediate vision of a partner cheating really hit close to home.
this video is extremely underated. i personally have bpd and this is exactly what it's like to have it. Constant mood swings, fear of abandonment and enganging in risky or dangerous behavior. i live everyday just like this and it is absolutely tormenting. this video is really amazing, i really want to know the guy in this video because he seems pretty cool
Just know that we can recover. For me it happened in my 30’s when I finally hit bottom and sought sobriety. They say that some of us just outgrow it because we learn how to manage our emotions and actions over time- esp if we learned that they create disastrous consequences for ourselves. But learning DBT skills is a must IMO.
Having bpd is like being in a real life horror movie. There have been plenty of times where I crawl on the floor like the grudge or the exorcist, I start clawing at myself from pain and horror, fear, abandonment, betrayal. I scream or yell. And I can’t scream I begin to sing loudly random songs that talk about how I’m feeling at the moment. It’s scary. I stare in the mirror and I swear I see hundreds of personalities all looking back.
you need deliverance, ma'am edit: PERIOD
You have demons. I thought my problems were earthly this whole time: I got into fitness, starting eating better, starting growing a pair and talking to women out in public - all these things that should have made my life & mood dramatically better but it DIDN’T. I had the presence of the Devil in my soul and needed Jesus to save me.
@@gabelossus she knows she needs deliverance. she just wanted attention with her message. i have became wiser from July 🥰
@@laurivaltter God bless!
What is fucking wrong with you both☠️☠️ they talk and share stuff abt their BPD and how it’s scary and you go on abt how they want attention and how she needs Jesus??? PLEASE keep that to yourself or better yet not click on this video bc I think u missed the point lmao
I had no idea this is what BPD is like. My ex girlfriend, who I was madly in love with, suffered from this. Time has passed (4 years) but my emotions towards her feel like they were brought out when this video played. Ultimately, I wanted to be there to support her and to have a happy life. I still want that for her. This gives me some insight to maybe what she was going through when we dated.. My heart goes out to everyone with BPD and those around them. Much love to you all
i can’t do relationships man. i hate how fast my mood changes too. i feel like having this condition has taken a toll in my life with others as well. sometimes i don’t even feel like i’m real at all. i take prescription and it makes me feel numb with no emotions at all. it’s hard having to deal with this on a daily basis.
God loves you
It is. I feel the same and it's so hard to cope with, and I wonder if I will ever be able to have a sane relationship with other people
I came to this realization too and told my ex that when we broke up. I just can’t do it. I feel like I’m in constant crisis and my immediate reaction 9 times out of 10 is anger. I smoke weed and know I shouldn’t but I’m trying so hard to find some sort of enjoyment and pleasure b4 I end up kms. People don’t know how hard ts actually is. It makes life not worth living, your own brain is attacking you and there are very few ways to shut it off. I don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship again, still coming to terms but I think it’s for the best.
@@Aisha-w7g3qthis is literally the exact situation im in right now. actual hell
You can too. I’m bpd as well but sooner or later you need help and you can form a relationship as long as the person is understanding
As a quiet borderline, this would've been what happens to me daily if I actually speak my mind and let out my emotions, instead of this I just stay chronically empty drowning myself in self loathing. Great video, I wish you all well
When you were on behind the door and sitting on the floor...making faint sounds - I busted down crying b/c I know that scene all too well. The grunts triggered extreme sadness in me, that we harm ourselves just to feel release from the intense shit we go through. You gave an honest example of some of the things us BPD go through....TY! Keep spreading awareness - !!!!
Yeah I got chills when he drunkenly picked up the knife 😢
i dont have bpd and didnt really get what was hapening can you explain ?
@@aperson1004he was harming himself
@@aperson1004 I think it was self h
More awareness: Most women with bpd are actually narcissistic women who didn't face well rejection from top tier men. I can go on explaining this detailedly.
This is me 🥲
Worst I do is smoke pot and stay up too late. I cry on the inside and panic on the inside. All of it on the inside.. Youll never know. It is my burden.
I never tried cannabis does it help in anyway
@@hillaryconsultingservices no it does not 😂😂😂
@@hillaryconsultingservices any way to numb how you feel is not good. Weed, and any other unhealthy thing that gives you escapism, seems like it’s helping you feel better for a couple of months and then it doesn’t anymore leaving you even worse than you were before because you’ve developed a bad habit or an addiction. Your emotions always catch up to you. It’s scary but it’s better to feel them and practice healthy coping mechanisms ♡
@@hillaryconsultingservices I wouldn't recommend cannabis for anyone suffering from a disorder which features any form of psychosis as a common symptom - which BPD is a case of. I have BPD myself and have never smoked for that reason.
@@hillaryconsultingservicesi see what it does to my friends. They even convince themselves they arent addicted and can quit at anytime.
This is just so accurate. Also the scariest horror movie I’ve ever seen. My heart goes out to everyone struggling.
Look up rent a pal
I think I might actually have bpd. I’ve always felt things in extremes, I’ve had unstable relationships and attachments my whole life, and I consistently do lash out either at myself and much less often the other person, I calm down quick and realize usually the moment after I hurt them and immediately start apologizing. I think mostly it just presents internally, and looking back at my entire history especially recently it’s like fuck. The pattern is there
Maybe you should try to get a diagnosis to be sure. I never knew what was wrong with my intense emotional reactions until I got diagnosed at the age of 50. Been 5 years since. I am glad I can explain to people now what triggers me and which lines not to cross with me to avoid nasty situations like in the past. And now I know how to watch out and remove myself from situations which will cause great emotional stress for me.
It’s always worth talking to a GP. I had issues all throughout my adolescence but could never receive a diagnosis as they claimed i was ‘too young’ and didnt want to assign a label to me under 18, in case I grew out of it. And i never did. But there were still a lot of steps before receiving a diagnosis, and a lot of possible alternatives, because the symptoms of BPD overlap a shit ton with a lot of other conditions. So please find someone that can assess you.
@@EvanBateman1People who assess you just put a lucky guess and hope they guessed correctly, you will know deep down, you know yourself better than anyone else.
The part where he’s just staring at himself in the mirror is so accurate.
Yeah cause like who tf is that?
That happens in really dark times.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
As someone with bpd, felt so hard on the messages. When I would text “ I love you” and he left me on seen for like 10 mins. And then said “ love you tooo” I would reply and say why did it take you so long do you actually love me. Did I do something. I wish my bpd wasn’t looked as toxic. I seriously have a mental issue. And when he texted me back “ no I love you I promise you” I felt so reassured especially after he sent me a paragraph.
All I can say is stop eating shit, stop drinking, stop drugs, stop looking outside of yourself for validations, start forcing the truth on yourself. I can relate to everything in this video, that was me in my younger days. You must find the courage to look inside.
1000% agree! It’s a real battle of the mind and you have to change your diet… food wise as well as the content your read, watch and listen to! The power lies within you.
@beautybychaela I thought useing pink salt from the health shop would be a good healthy choice but I was wrong for my particular system, the magnesium content in it sent me deeply depressed and irritable plus contributing to stomach issues, 3 days after stopping it I felt heaps better. Hope this info helps some people learn how to see even healthy foods are deadly to some.
the most accurate thing is the hello kitty tattoo tbh
WhT
its the bpd symbol. so is the chocker on girls with the short skirt etc is the bpd uniform
@@HlllHIIIHno
i have BPD and i really felt this :(
Can you give me any tips? My boyfriend's behavior is exactly this...
research, calmness, treatment!!!! talking a lot calmly ! ❤
Same I'm ngl I literally act the same way my moods just rapidly change throughout the day over a fucking text. Like I thought it was something else but I've actually been diagnosed with BPD and I act the same fucking way.
@@R1ch4rdwake up and break up with him
@@R1ch4rdif he’s willing to become better then there’s potential
I was diagnosed with BPD. Though I work in a medschool, ppl around me, didn't even treat me well. So i moved out and got a separate room, had regular counseling and started working on what could be changed around me. This vid , Ngl , is wildly accurate.
As bpd, until now... I feel a chronic empty. I struggle to find happiness but still, every feeling didn't stay for long enough, my mood changed fast..until suicidal thoughts hit me, and I'm tired. The scene standing in the mirror is very accurate. I always punish myself when every time my plan didn't go well. I'm asking myself a lot "Why I am existing in this world when I am a failure person." idk what to tell my psy when the tca. sometimes I feel triggered when my psy doesn't treat me well and hear my story completely. Pardon my bad English.
I have the exact thoughts when I go through a crisis. And the same when I feel like my psych isn't undeestanding my pain
I was diagnosed with BPD 20 years ago as a teenage. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
Hey! Yes Dr.benfungi
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Yes he's Dr.benfungi.Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
1:13 omg I love the hello kitty tattoo
This has to be the most accurate depiction of BPD I’ve ever seen…my fiancé has BPD and where kinda going through a situation like this
This had been my whole entire life. I could never have a relationship, I would always have drastic mood swings, multiple swings within an hour. I would look in the mirror for around 10 minutes sometimes , just looking at my unrecognizable face. I would self harm to feel something, and then when my mood swings hit, I would put it away and not even think of it at that moment, like I forgot.
Do you still experience mood swings when not in a relationship?
@@ALGARIC Yes I do. They don't go away, and they happen with my friend and family too. I'm currently in a very nice, loving relationship with a man. His mother has BPD. We've been together for almost 9 months now, and I think this relationship is going somewhere! Just last night I had hyperventilated and collapsed, and he helped me through it so well, I called him while crying and he knew just how to ground me and calm me down. He's helping me find myself and learn to love myself.
The 20th of last December I ran away from my foster home, and I'm currently staying with my friends family, recovering from self harm and an eating disorder. I'm just now seeing this comment after 11 months, and reflecting on how much has changed has been nice. Thanks for bringing me back to it.
@@p3talsdotpng Thank you for your reply, I’m so glad you’re doing good now! ❤️
@@ALGARIC thank you! And ofc! hope you have an amazing day 💕
@@p3talsdotpngBe thankful you have a man.
I don't even have a girlfriend or wife, i can go days without anyone texting me. All i have going for me is pot. Friends that never ever hit me up talking about how i feel. I have to reach out to them, why should i always have to reach out???? I'm not asking for alot, i would just apprieciate someone checking up on me once in a while. Fake ass people, i might just become an ass to everyone.
Cold ass world.
Its worse when people know what youre going through and give you the "talk to me anytime you feel down." Mf i feel down everyday. How about you check up on me somwtimes? Im not going to want to open up to people all the time.
I’ve been working hard to heal myself from this for the last few years. For once in my life I feel in control. Thankful for these types of videos bringing awareness to people all over.
this is brilliantly done, for bringing awareness to the fact both men and women can have the illness - the mirror shot, the red room with the dark door dimly lit, the drinking alone, everything. as someone whos had 2 friends pass from bpd and also personally have trouble w symptoms at times this is beautiful. you'll make a great psych (-:
yeah, it's exactly like that, brain rollercoaster whole day long.
Drugs, alcohol, or toxic people make it about 1000 times worse.
This is so triggering especially the mirror scene. I go through this every other day. Its so mentally exhausting alcohol makes it worse
0:20 I got mad immediately 😂
I remember the feeling so clearly, the extreme fear of abandonment, losing control, the deadly jealousy. But the worst of them all,
- was the feeling of never being satisfied, constantly craving more & more love, affection, attention, that always ended up people leaving me..... My skin, my organs, every cell in my body felt like burning, and I could litterally feel psycical pain coming from my heart. 😢
Over 20 years of being a borderline slave, I decided to set myself free.
TODAY.....
- I AM HEALED 🙏
BORDERLINE ER IKKE EN UHELBREDELIG SYGDOM,
HEAL DIG SELV ❤
I relate to this so much. The mirror, depersonalisation, splitting, self sabotage, the moodswings even while walking, tried to go somewhere I’m way better now but so hard to control emotions and actions while episode. But it is possible and you have to get treatment to help yourself and people around you ❤❤❤❤❤
Finally a accurate video of how I act sometimes 😂 💛 excluding the self harm part cuz I’ll hurt the person hurting me
Sis same😂
Ah yes. Violence. Know it well from my BPD mother
this is not funny whatsoever.
I have diagnosed complex ptsd and relate to the self harming (banging my head and cutting) and thinking every one hates me
This video showed me just how much I’ve improved only being in therapy for 2 almost 3 years and boy am I grateful. Childhood me was an unhealthy externaliser, adult me is an introverted internaliser (quiet BPD)
Even the fast texting & ine message after another is so me.
Its not even that deep, other people lack communication skills. Like, if you don't wanna be around me, just go, don't pull me close and them push me away & then go silent & ignore me & get mad that I'm like what's going on? Don't waste my efforts, energy, emotions & life.
I've really learned after all the self blaming after people using me as a punching bag that it's many others who are more of the problem than me. It's starting to seem like I'm actually quite chill as long as they're not around. Cut em off bruhh
It's not others. It's YOU. The sooner you see this the better life is for others.
Yeh did thay for 2 years then u realise u find a reason to cut everyone off. Learn to not rely on daily communication
This film is amazingly done, why only couple of thousands views? What is wrong with people? It is art right here, so well documented. Let’s get sharing to make the owner of the video famous.
Thank you for making this. The mood swings while walking are eerily accurate. Things always go from 0 to 100 for what seems to be absolutely no reason.
This is very difficult to explain to others, and difficult to watch, but I feel seen.
Man I don’t have BPD but I can only imagine what it’s like for those who have it, I’m so sorry you all have to struggle like this, it hurts me to see people go through such mental torment and to see people with BPD suffer makes my heart shatter. To whoever is reading this and has BPD, know that your struggles do not define you and that you are valid and your emotions and problems are valid. What you go through is very real and you as an individual matter so much. Never forget who you are and realize that society was not built off normal people but instead was built off unique people with their own struggles and challenges. So instead of hating yourself learn to embrace your unique qualities learn to become comfortable with you. Because at the end of the day there’s no one truly like you ❤️❤️❤️🫶🏼 I love you all and am wishing you all a very wonderful day/night.
Bruh why is it like that for real, tho?!
The staring in the mirror and trying to process what you’re looking at hit me in the feels.
I think this captures the undiagnosed and younger people. I don't think most adults with bpd would react as severely to a text and if they do they definitely need to analyze and reflect more.
Well yeah but…. BPD and most people with type B disorders have no empathy for others and they generally don’t feel remorse for when they lash out.
These people think it’s quirky and silly to rage on everyone, then they go back to smoking their cheap w33d to induce another panic attack when the effects die down at like 7:30 pm.
the most relatable video ever. sometimes just walking alone is enough to make me change my mood
Its a nightmare with no cure. I hate it. Remember is not your fault that you have it, just remember its up to you to control it once you realize you have it.
Most ppl grow out of it.
Also Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
this is more accurate than any content ive seen ab bpd. i rly appreciate you taking this seriously. nothing to romanticize
Let me Tell you guys im 32 got borderline and bipolar disorder and i can Tell any of you guys IT WILL GET BETTER!!! You will learn how to deal with the mood changes and you will See humans arent as Bad as we think
This is why more focus needs to be put on this disorder so people with bpd can get help to regulate their feelings.
It’s hell to walk through this disorder without getting proper help.
To all with bpd if possible then educate yourself about the disorder and find answers from your upbringing. Many answers will be found there. If it’s not possible to walk that way, then it’s still possible to heal.
MBT and DAT are great therapy forms.
Be very if using the internet. There is a lot of misconceptions out there. So give yourself the ability to take what you can use and throw out the rest.
There will be a lot of hurt people out there, who’s been close to people with BPD and some of them are angry and tells a lot of untrue things about what BPD is. BPD is a lot of things - it doesn’t mean that we are all the same.
People with BPD struggles and need to learn how to calm their inner thoughts. It takes time, years, decades or even a lifetime.
And one of the things I’d like to put to the grave once and for all is that people with BPD lacks empathy. That’s is not true. People with BPD of all people have more empathy than most - the issue is, that when they feel hurt, they often react without thinking clearly and to others that looks like rage, craziness, egoism and so on - but what you are looking at is a human being struggling with really bad inner out of control thoughts and emotions. After such an episode the sadness and self blaming rules and then the apologies for hurting others comes. It’s a circle.
It’s possible to learn how to break that circle. I’ve done it myself and even though I find myself in situations now and then where it’s repeated I still manage to break the circle much faster and my closed one’s knows how to help me out of it as well.
We don’t get severely hurt by it anymore and we are able to move on pretty fast.
I still work on myself to become a better me. I’ll do this til the day I die.
This was really disturbing... Can't imagine what it's like to have that disorder
This was so hard to watch. When he got the knife I just started bawling. I don't know what it was about it; it just triggered this powerful anguish for this person in an educational video. No one should ever feel that unloved.
This is mental 😂 I've stopped doing this, and another tip: don't immediately reply !!! Don't immediately open the text!!! Take time to think it through
And isolate it's the best for everyone fr don't breed just like any cluster b
I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years.
With so much anxiety Not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatmentPsilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean.
Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need
You copypasted this comment from another video..
Damn I'm dealing with this
I'm dependent on it but not fully addicted
@@ElizabethJenny-xu3kynaja, psilocybin ist illegal. Beste Quelle ist die Niederlande mit den headshops.
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
oh boy. this was me before therapy. it's not that i'm healed or anything but i'm glad it is not as intense as that anymore.
BPD can be improved with therapy, DBT, meds, and a lot of self awareness and a loss of victim mentality (in my own experience)… it’s not easier but you can grow more tolerant of the highs and lows, and become less sensitive to other’s perception and reactions, and you can lose some need for external validation… it’s hard work but ten years into the work I feel a million times better
Downt sounnliek ist worth it atall
Meds are just suppressing it, putting a band aid over the symptoms like any other substance, with a bunch of different side effects, the only difference is it is legal. You can't expect to be on them forever, anything can happen. They are chemical lobotomies. If you were diagnosed with a mental disorder in the early 1900s they would force you into the psych ward and cut a piece of your brain out, and also, they would pump you full of electricity and fry your brain into mush, tied to a bed in restraints or doing the thorazine shuffle down the hallway, or locked in a room with a straight jacket. Now all they have to do is shove toxic chemicals down your throat and wait until you either die from the side effects or you unalive yourselves. That is because they have this agenda called eugenics, for a long time now. They don't give a damn about any of us. Time to start getting closer to the Most High through His son Yahusha aka Jesus because things are about to look like a scifi horror movie or video game but in real life. Time to open the bible.
Meds? 😂😂😂, nice joke mate. The health industry needs sick people to make money, meds won't help you.
Shrooms and weed can help though, hence why its illegal and highly restricted, otherwise healthy people means less money for the health profession.
The part when he drinks then everything goes red is so real for me. I’ve always felt a red cloud around me when I get upset. This video is amazing the accuracy is incredible.
when you almost get ignored and get one word text back like "uhm" "yeah" "idk°.
Had to delete Instagram because of shit like that bruh 😭. Made me feel so empty and lonely on there.
omfg I've never seen a more accurate of bpd, no one around me seems to acknowledge I've been diagnosed with bpd, I'll send them links or videos to try and explain my past behaviour and they reply with something totally unrelated. But watching this made me realise I'm not the only one! I knew loads of us was diagnosed BPD but to actually know these things happen to other people, it makes me feel less lonely in a lonely world, thank you again 😊
i had the same problem at first, but then i realized that if someone wants to educate themselves on what it is we have to go through then they will. they’ll do it because they care and then want you to stay. my partner eventually took the effort to educate himself and has been able to offer a more gentle and patient response to my breakdowns and reassurance when i’m overthinking
I liked the moment he went to mirror like wtf who am showing what depersonalization feels like
So accurate, so accurate, especially the end scene. And it's the same, EVERYTIME although u had the situation before
It is important to change your “self talk”, in order to overcome some of the negative feelings that come with bpd. I used to be sooo mean to myself! My daughter pointed it out. It’s taken time, and obviously I still have difficult times; but telling myself, “it’s ok, you’re doing great sweetie, it’s just patterned behaviors”. Then learning to calm my heart rate, via breathing and holding my breath helps too. I don’t know that the “personality” ever goes away, but it’s definitely manageable with awareness!!
Just fyi, it’s a lot of work!! Constant self talk, since almost all of my initial thoughts are negative. 🤪
I feel like screaming at people to wake up. I’m sat at night looking out my window and noticing how silent it is outside for a world full of life, how we are so strange in that we just do as told and live this enslaved life. I never used to think like this and I had hopes and dreams but since accepting death is round the corner for me I feel like we’re all being lied to and by the time most of us stop to question everything is when we’re dying, some may not even then. I’m starting to believe this is like the Truman show or the Matrix.
i felt this honestly
i never really lash out at people like that because i have a more quiet presentation but the emotional swings in this were very relatable. like a lot of the time i can ruminate over text messages, thinking people are going to abandon me, feel absolutely horrible. hurt myself over it and then they text back
and its like in my head "oh everythings fine again" they don't want to leave
and i feel like i was silly for feeling the way i felt but i can't exactly help it yk?
i feel like its different for every person with bpd though
I have BPD I never wanted to hurt myself tho I have kids that need me so I struggle daily to make sure they are good besides myself
Maybe you have just CPTSD?
I’ve been misdiagnosed with BPD, I have CPTSD in fact. Also never wanted to hurt myself.
You don't need to tick every box to qualify. I'm seeing a lot of people pushing the cptsd thing onto people which is odd, it's not for strangers on the internet to push a diagnosis onto someone.
Wow…. Heart breaking. What a great great great!!! Representation of BPD. This is very accurate. You really did a great job creating the film. I almost cried. The constant anguish & sadness that BPD people carry around is devastating when longing to be loved & never abandoned. & the mirror scene tooooo accurate.
My ups and downs are because I wanna be happy but so many people aren't and it ruins my vibe so then I'm like just be sad it's "normal". People just won't let us be happy and they love complicating things.
i just want you to know you did a very great job of depicting what its like to live with it in such a short span of time
the texting bit where he said "DONT LEAVE ME" got me hard but the knife situation i didnt understand
The knife situation shows self harm as one of the coping behaviors for emotional disregulation in BPD
@@andreicapi3535 i know what that is i was diagnosed with it
Pretty accurate, I had terrible BPD until I started DBT. Luckily mine seemed to lessen by the year and now I don't fit the criteria anymore but have so much empathy
Lemme tell ya... Nobody is perfect.
But unaided BPD makes for a NIGHTMARE parent.
Please seek aid, neither you nor anyone around you has to live like this. You are not alone.
I cannot believe someone actually summed up my 20s in under 3 minutes. I stopped going to therapy because she wanted to diagnose me with BPD. It terrified me and I disagreed with it. But I can relate to this so hard. (I am now in my 30s and doing great.)
this is what my sister has. I wish I could trade places with her.
When he slid that cereal I said THATS ME 😭😂😭😭
A few points mind you .. you can be hypo manic and be seeing things in like a “happy light” while simultaneously doing things unintentionally that would mess up your life or situation etc in the future or present .. bpd is serious I’m just learning bout my disorder and it’s def a struggle but WE SHALL PRESS ON BROTHA
Yes! WE STAND UNITED BROTHER! For the emperor!
i kind of relate to the texts one but for me its waiting for people to respond counting down how long it takes to resopnd matching their responce time how they text if they reply diffrent are they anoyed are they distancing who are they with i have too many mood changes in public and just become void and feel nothing to get throught it cant leave the house for 5 minets without being stressed and my memory is awfull i dont know if anyone else kinda wonders off mentaly i kind of imagin future convosasions with people losing time doing things in the background of the daydreeming or convosasions with my difrent identity states i hate looking in the miror knowing the body is mine even though i see a stranger then looking at my limbs its awfull worse when stressed
Holy shit, the texting rage in the beginning took me the fuck out. It's like the person with BPD fears abandonment and being replaced. Sounds like me asf. But not as severe. I might have low-grade BPD.
I once dated a woman who has BPD, I didn't understand it at the time. But I would get an abusive texts all the time from her it was so bad to the point it was effecting my mental health. We only dated/meet twice before I ended it cos I just could not handle her abusive texts :(. She said she was getting help and was on medication but again I don't know, she was also very paranoid that her food would poison her and has a lot of stalkers or exs after her. Did I do the right thing to leave her or does with the right help or medication helps/works? or is there is no cure and that them self must learn to self control and someone to date the person having a thick skin and understands why they go through with their emotions?
there’s no direct cure for BPD. There are SSRIs for the depressive side and anti-psychotics for the manic aspect. DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) is promising and if i recall correctly around 80% of people heal from the disorder within 10 years.
As someone with severe BPD you did the right thing this person is extremely mentally unwell and would've definitely caused you alot of mental pain.
There is no cure but after a 1-2 years of DBT can help manage the disorder to an acceptable extent but the symptoms can always come back in times of stress or instability.
Omg. This was the most real video I've ever watched about how I feel. text messages or calls in which I feel that the person I like is strange to me, that alone triggers violent crises in me. That's why I gave up, and walked away from relationships.
I honestly have a theory as a survivor of bpd (was diagnosed at 18 now 34 and not one single symptom) after finding God a few years back it 100% solidified that personality disorders are absolutely spiritual battles. I believe as children we are highly susceptible to the spirit realm, and if we are not protected by Jesus then we are fair game for the enemy. Now normally with a decent upbringing that could result in normal teen angst etc but as a child developing through their state of psychosis, if they are being abused they will look for anything to latch onto for safety and security. Cue the demon. A demon enters just like ..... surprise! Just like how a narcissist would. How ironic it's the same playbook.. The demon love bombs the child and grooms the child into believing "don't worry, I'll be here for you, I'll be your protector" so the borderline is the first step of infiltration where I believe the demon didn't fully integrate with the child but remained and outside extension. Hence why the borderline is always looking to the outside to tell them who they are but luckily this is good because it means they can be helped once that external part is cut off and replaced with God. Now a narc unfortunately is the full development of when that demon enmeshes with their entire identity. Which is why the narc needs to pull people into "their world" they live in a constant state of psychosis because they officially live in that demons reality. The borderline was always bordering on psychosis which is why they felt more tortured because half of them was trying to escape KNOWING something is very wrong and the narc just completely gave into that state as their entire formed identity. Sad both ways but it makes SO much sense now that God showed me.
I feel you may be right. Thanks.
This honestly blew my mind... it makes so much sense.
I agree 100% and have experienced similar knowings when God found me. Interesting how that happens. This is exactly how I feel and exactly what I’ve been saying to a few people that I trust. Mental illness and personality disorders are really spiritual battles. For me personally, God has and continues to help me process my emotions, the torment is still there but I’m able to acknowledge my emotions, ask for help and course correct a lot better than in the past. Thank you for sharing this, God bless you!
@AnnieBCooks Absolutely and same! God bless you too love ❤️ 🙏
@@skyeskelter ❤️🙏
The mood swings while walking… I never realized I do this until you pointed it out. I’ve always just seen it as like myself having internal dialogue😅 and my internal dialogue goes WILD🥶
This is also CPTSD
Definitely. There are many overlapping symptoms between the two; I thought I had BPD in addition to CPTSD for a short while
i think BPD is a specific manifestation of CPTSD
@@turnleftaticeland You're right, so are all personality disorders
@@turnleftaticeland dead on
My girlfriend has bpd & it’s been so difficult on my end cause i’ve never delt with anyone like this. From the beginning for a long time i’ve been nothing but understanding, but over time it’s so difficult to constantly be accused of things when you’re in a happy mood, she always has to say rude comments like “who are you putting makeup on for” “who are you posting for” etc. & i live with her & she knows every corner of my phone, is always knowing who i talk to which is only about 4 people & its not even everyday. I stay in the room besides when i walk me dog & we never go anywhere without each other. I never knew the relationship was going to be like this & i love her so much, but it feels very straining & hurts me. Idk what to do. This video reminded me a lot of her.
Leave. If she has no desire or ability to change you shouldn't keep putting yourself through the mental torture of her delusional behaviour.
It will never get better. Only worse.
I speak from experience, borderlines will consume every aspect about you, then blame you when they leave you broken and alone.
Leave while you can. The person you love doesn't really exist. That's a mask the borderline wears to get you hooked. The mask will slip, and then things get bad.
So, so very bad.
Please, for your own sake, leave.
As a white woman who was diagnosed, I'm glad they chose to depict a black man.
I totally get that. I am a black menopausal woman. My imagination can’t even start to depict my episodes.
WHAT A GREAT SHORT FILM. I LEARNED SO MUCH WITHOUT A WORD SPOKEN
SO ACCURATE
As someone who’s been in recovery/healing process of the bpd symptoms, looking back post-recovery/healing, I can’t help but notice it’s really just emotional immaturity and emotional intolerance mostly due to trauma ,I’m really glad I’ve practiced and put all my effort into learning the skills to not be like that 🙏
2:29 YOU CAN HEAL...its oky
I'm a teen with borderline, and this is literally spot on.
But why it took her so long to reply
RS
This is why I play music non stop…so I don’t have to feel emotions except for the ones I get through the music I’m listening to
Whats happening at the end