Вставка
- Опубліковано 29 бер 2011
- hello youtube! posting this video a bit late. busy busy busy these days with school and film shoots. :) and oh man, i am a bit overtired and rambley and distractable...
- passing - old navy & veggie burger - i guess (1) not wanting to be read as female + (2) not wanting to confuse people = desire to pass? hm. a bit confusing.
- little butt makes an appearance! :)
- facial hair - growing sideburns. can you see them??
- arm muscles are popping up. woo!
- queer/trans recital learned voice exercises
- changing voice - i don't recognize it when it is recorded. disconnect between what i think it will sound like, what it sounds like in my head, etc.
- belly hair - the family trait is "3 hairs out of every pore." OH. GOD.
- "came out" to the fix-it guy explaining it as a way to not be sick. that works.
- my parents are going to come with me for my top surgery and this is wonderful. lots of love. bonding experience.
- toe hair - please don't get hobbit feet...
- hair is growing past my watch onto the top of my hand
- veins popping on the tops of my hands after a shower
- i am working on acclimating to my newly perceived masculinity. i'll talk about it more in my next video but this has been interesting.
come to gender odyssey!! august 5-7. seattle. www(dot)genderodyssey(dot)org
It's good to hear your parents are so supportive in a way that seems to make you feel like more of a grown - up. also, your voice exercise reminds me of my high school singing. We did that one all the time! :)
Good update. Love your mellow approach.
Part 2: and it turned out to be a really good thing for us I think. It's great that your parents want to be a part of this experience with you, and that you feel good about having them there with you. I am happy for you :)
That is wonderful... and yes I sang " I love to sing" for actual vocal warm ups in choir and private voice lessons. I was a soprano with lots of high notes. . Brings back some memories.
hey sam... you are amazing. great vid!!!
wow, you have a way healthier family of origin than i do! i'm happy for you. good to see you so happy sam :)
-I don't know your parents, but I love them.
-Yay Gender Odyssey! I'm so stoked.
@boy0boi thank you for sharing what happened with you and your parents. this is really great to hear. i think i will also need to establish "roles" with them in regards to my level of maturity etc. i'm glad it went well for you!!! congrats on your surgery! :)
Part 1: I was worried about having my parents along for surgery at first. One of the things I was worried about was me being in "child mode" as well as them being in "parent mode". Not so much because they'd be taking care of me, but because I felt that I would slip into a mode where I deferred to them and where they would want to be in charge of what happened and how. I ended up telling them how I wanted things to go and what I expected (like that I wanted time alone at my pre-op appointment)
Great video! I think my desire to pass came from the same place. I don't want to be read as female, and when people correct themselves it's just uncomfortable. I've realized now that I like passing as a really queer male :)
that's great about your parents going with you to florid! ultimately i decided not to have my parents or godparents come with me because i want my caretaker(s) to be excited for me and not sad, and my folks aren't in the space yet. they're still supportive, just also in a state of mourning, which is totally fine, i just don't want to be apologetic during this substantial coming-of-age event. glad to hear your folks want to be a part of the moment for you.
@hikinghomohippie exactly. i really wanted to assess where my parents were at before deciding to take this step with them. and my mom really proved to me that they are ready. i have always treated them so carefully with all this stuff and it is refreshing that they have come so far and surprised me. but of course each case is unique and i am glad that you were able to take the steps you needed separately from your folks.
@angaloo23 yes they are wonderful. -- hehe, you used to actually sing "i love to sing?" that's awesome.
@AveryKristopher yeah totally! i think that's kind of how i will eventually end up feeling. for now its still confusing.
-If you are going to guess people's name... why not try something interesting.
-I can see it!
-Woah. Totally a line.
@SkinninMacKinnon omigosh, i love kitty cameos.
@YaninBananin hehe. yes! -- though i got a haircut the other day and without asking she buzzed off all my hard work on the sideburns. phooey. they'll be back!
@Zedie36 i love them. thanks, ami! HUG.
@Popeslave hehe, i thought i might get a reprimand from you, radford! :) oh yes, i shall most likely be joining you in the multiple hairs from each pore club. yes indeed. -- as always, you are so grounded in your processing thoughts. yes, that makes sense. thank you for being YOU!
@BeatlesFan51620
1. i love him too!! :)
2. YAY!
3. i honestly barely have anything.
4. they are amazing.
thanks for the comments, elliott! :)
@videokidsam Thanks :)
@rileysboyasher wow really? that's cool. i keep forgetting to mention that but i do think they are growing. i traced my hands at the beginning of T but can't find the traces... arg. and re-traced recently. so we'll see! :)
@TyGuy1313 YES! did i forget to mention that? oops!
Hey! There is nothing wrong with hobbit feet *makes VERY SERIOUS FACE AT YOU* ;) LOLOLOL Very good to see an update from you, sir. I can see the sideburns! & uber funny, I was just inspecting my 2-hairs-from-single-pores today & wondering if other people have this...
p.s. I think that processing how other people perceive us does require thinking the way they think (i.e. "passing") however, 'tis important to keep in the forefront that you just want to exist as *you*. does that make any sense?
@videokidsam LOL "reprimand" is a harsh word. ;) Only time will tell your "sentence". :D
@freshlycharles
@Dylaganally i love them too! -- omigosh, i can't wait for gender odyssey and YOU.
@angaloo23 that is fantastic. :)
yooouuur little ponytail can be friends with my little braid! sideburns are cute :)
@Dylaganally i know, it was weird. what's a line?
@tobyr3 thanks!
@ftxfencer woohoo!
@postgender its kind of weird and kind of true. :)
@Popeslave :)
@smithsmithboy hey spencer! you're amazing! :)
I like your kitty. My cat cameos in my videos too. hah
Looking good :) You know where I see it...? Your hands. You have serious boy-hands, now.
Are you going to Gender Odyssey?
@SkinninMacKinnon omigosh, i love kitty cameos.