It is not a life long suffering right, you can actually get better and be cured forever? Into a normal person, if we keep getting heal The lady in the video is that what she claimed? Is she bpd free now?
Thank you so much for opening up regarding BPD. You are so strong. I have lived with my husband for 36 years and he was diagnosed early in our marriage. We are both retired for two years now and it’s getting impossible to live with him. I feel bad about having to leave him, however, I won’t tolerate the verbal abuse any longer. He never went to counseling. Our three daughters know that I need to leave. Two of them “hate him.” What I am perplexed about is that there were no signs that he had it. Once we were married, the anger and loud outbursts began. By the time he and I went to counseling, we had three daughters (one was mine from a previous relationship. The therapist saw us for about four visits. He then said he wants to see us separately. I went first and the doctor handed a book entitled “I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me.” After talking about it, he asked how ai stayed for this long. I had three children and I couldn’t imagine where I would go. So, I stayed and we raised our daughters. Of course, there were good times but I walked on eggshells most of the time. We are both retired now and I can’t stand being with him. Too much anger. Sorry to ramble on. Sara, I applauded you. You are so strong. And I can’t imagine how fulfilling it is to be able to help others that walk in your “old” shoes. ☮️ ❤️ 😊
I was just diagnosed w/ BPD and I’m active duty military, which makes things even more interesting. Needless to say, I’m going to be honorably discharged sometime early next year. We’re all in this together! Thanks so much for sharing your story, Sarah!! ❤
Thank you Sarah for sharing this story. I have managed my BPD alone for most of my life and recently I have lost control of the positive thinking. For me, living with a child with a complex mental health disorder, all of our funds go to their treatment. This means that there is no funds left for me to get therapy. I'm in Australia and although we have a great mental illness awareness here, there is not enough access to therapy. Even with unlimited funds, since covid times, the need is so much greater than the number of clinicians and mental health workers. I am blessed to see a counsellor once a month for 30 minutes at no cost. They have helped me notice some of my negative thoughts and change them. I'm heartened to know that I can get better, so thank you for that message. I now just need to dig myself out of this. I might try to grab a larger shovel though as it feels like I am digging myself out with a teaspoon right now. Thank you MedCircle, love the work you do. It's helping me get knowledge that I otherwise cannot afford to get.
For those commentators who are questioning the lack of help for under-resourced BPD sufferers, while noting Sara’s well resourced recovery, you might want to read the full video description. Sara started a nonprofit organization to help you. It has a website with resources and is available on a number of social media sites. My mother had BPD. I came looking for information to better understand what I lived through. She lost her battle. I wish you all courage and loving support in your struggles to get better! Thank you for your work Sara. I found the video quite useful.
What about the people have no support and no family or a family full of narcissists family is always Downing them no matter what they do they are lesser than their family? Not everybody has support
That’s random cause I read this after I commented and I was basically saying what your saying.. a lot of people don’t have support also and have toxic/narcissistic family’s who caused this disorder! I always trip when people say they have so much support from friends and family but for me I can see no one gives a fuck. I would never want to go to any friend or family member for help ever. that would only make it worse
I love that she shared her story. I love that she was brave enough to share to help others understand and help them have hope. At the same time I feel like it was so vague..... I mean as someone also diagnosed with BPD I understand rage outbursts being a huge issue but I feel like there is so much more to it that maybe she didn't feel comfortable sharing? I mean I'm not being negative towards her by any means I promise I just was left wanting more, like a deeper look into it. I was hoping to listen and go "yes, girl thank God I'm not alone in that" but instead I was left thinking sure my rage is bad but what else? I can't be the only one thinking this.....
I don't know if I have BPD or not, but I've noticed that when I get mad, it's from frustration that builds up, and I have this sensation of tenseness at the bottom back of my head. This sensation moves up and over my head, and down my forehead. When it hits between my eyes, I start to cry, which makes me embarrassed and mad at myself, and this just reinforces the frustration and the cycle. Do you get that sensation, too?
@@natashamudford4011 It is not a life long suffering right, you can actually get better and be cured forever? Into a normal person, if we keep getting heal The lady in the video is that what she claimed? Is she bpd free now?
This in an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing! I'm concerned about what my future will look like. I learned here that I will be ok because I accept my diagnosis and I will listen to the people around me who want to help. That is really good advice, Sarah.. Thank you!!
I was raised by a narcissistic mother and a step-dad who wouldn't cross her. I was given everything and a lot of spankings with slapping wherever she could reach. If I didn't complete her image, there was hell to pay. I learned from her that everything was my fault. Instead of forgetting, I can remember as far back as 18 months-2 years old. I was diagnosed with BPD about 8 years ago. I am getting better except for any type of contact with my mom. I don't know if I should do it, but I am now confrontational on the phone or face to face. I just cannot allow the lies and deceptions that it is all me, never her who is wrong.
You have to protect yourself. Narcs are NEVER WRONG That's part of the disorder . No self reflection Mother is a malignant narc . Spent half my life in suicidal😢 ideation 😢😢😢😢 They do not change . Must put mental health 1st - period Much love ❤️
ThIs is fantastic. I appreciate both of you! Sara's family support brought tears to my eyes. Sara has so much light coming through. AND you are both brilliant teachers. Thank you!
I think there’s a big neglect of info in regards to the trauma that often takes place in the home to lead to BPD. This made me think to say after hearing her say she ruined family functions like it was all her fault. Maybe sometimes but not the majority.
Yeah, it doesn’t sound like she is very self-aware or deeply reflective or contemplative about what’s actually caused or lead up to anything. And this bothers me. Because like you said Britney- there is a huge neglect, and regarding the trauma that shapes our frustrations. And it’s sick that the focus is placed on us and the blame is placed on us and that there’s a problem wrong with us. I have spent thousands of hours of contemplation and journaling and talking. I know a lot of people aren’t willing to spend that amount of time sifting through why is everything so wrong? If I could show you a movie of my life…. If you could feel what I had to feel.. be trapped how I was trapped.. treated how I was treated… then you would understand. In contrast to that, we’ve got me confronting my mother years later about her abuse. And all she will really say is nobody’s perfect. She did the best she can and she loves me. Pretty much a blowoff and denial. But if we could go back with a secret camera and show her face and her actions and her craziness. They would be a different narrative here. Instead, I get to be painted like the crazy one. My “reactive abuse” when I couldn’t take it anymore, made me into the monster in the official paperwork… but the reality was quite different. Thank you for your comment. ❤
@cece that statement is not accurate. empirical data revealed that BPD can also be passed down genetically. They have cases of BPD with individuals who did not experience trauma nor abandonment in their childhood. Let’s not assume that there trauma in her environment unless she says so.
@Elizabeth C I guess the DSM 5 is rubbish. Any student in psychology can tell you that the majority of the literature agrees that not everyone who has bpd has experienced trauma. If that statement is true the. How do you explain the people who have experienced trauma and abandonment but do not have BPD. Your opinion has no bearing on the subject. I am interested in the literature. You disqualify yourself from the conversation, When you say something is rubbish without anything to back up your claim.
I'm glad she's doing the work, and getting the support necessary. Family members of the people with BPD need a support too, her poor ex husband. My ex had BPD, his hall pass attitude with his behavior, did tremendous damage to my life.
Im trying to support but the silent treatments are making it hard. He isnt diagnosed but his dad had it and tried to commit suicide when he was young so im pretty wure he has it. I agree its been so confusing and hard but im trying to support him
Some of the stigma surrounding BPD does come from fear of dealing with the explosive anger. It's very difficult, especially when the person with BPD does not even remember or seem to care about how their actions affect others. This may be because of the shame after having an episode, but it is also very self absorbed. I would love advice on how to be understanding without enabling bad behavior.
Respond with how you feel instead of first going after the persons behavior. Never assume, relate to things where you can. Also reassure them of your love and support in a genuine manner.
Talk about being negative, this story is very inspiring but how feasible is it for most people. Over and over again I hear of wonderful therapy and different things for people with mental health but it cost an unbelievable amount of money that most people don't have. You are talking about a year of intensive group work three times a week, as well as individual therapy, and then four years of individual therapy. You have to have an enormous amount of resources financial help to be able to do that. I wish to God that people that put on these things which are very informative would be , at least acknowledge it, or offer options for the large amount of people that just don't have this kind of financial resource or at least have resources for people that don't have the money to have intensive therapy. Over and over again I hear it and it just enrages me.
I have CPTSD. Not only is the cost of therpy outrageous, it's REALLY hard even getting in with a therapist (where I live, the waiting list is over a year long). And, there's the fact that many therapists aren't well instructed in personality disorders, trauma, abuse and neglect. I agree 100% with you. Therapy is only feasible for a select priviledged few. What about the rest of us?
@sheilabreannan4481 Who has a therapist they can call up in the middle of the nite or wenevr they need xtra help? A lot of people can't even get an intake appoint w/ a provider. Her situation w/ treatment is a atypical I think. Wen she said she went to her last yr of hi-school overseas in England I realized her family must have a certain level of wealth. I assume they financed her mental health care & supported her wen getting her education. B/c if she was suicidal & getting help(treatment) was a life or death situation I don't see her being able to support herself financially while going to higher ed.
I've suffered from chronic sciatic pain for over a decade as well as a member of the LGTBQ community. I was recently diagnosed with MDD, GAD and BPD and so overwhelmed with these issues that I wish I was never born. Currently in therapy and completed both DBT and CBT. I don't know what the future hold for me. I'm so glad Sara is able to manage her BPD - Best of Luck!
Interesting... A psychiatrist once told me I had Borderline Personality Disorder, but he was not a very good psychiatrist. Two other psychiatrists have told me I definitely don't have BPD. In recent years, I discovered I was struggling with CPTSD, and it seems that this is often misdiagnosed as BPD. In recent months, I have also discovered I am HSP/SPS, which also explains why I have CPTSD. One of the problems with HSP/SPS is that it can often be misdiagnosed as Depression or even Bipolar Disorder, because with HSP there can be a lot of mood swings. I would be grateful if you could dedicate an episode to common misdiagnosis, how they occur, and what the mental health care professionals are doing to reduce them.
They will always misdiagnose you with a „safer” solution. HSP is a fancy name for autism/adhd spectrum. And that in most cases means also having cptsd. Cptsd is not even a real diagnose in psychiatric diagnostic yet.
This is amazing, thank you Sarah for your clarity, bravery and especially for all the hard work you put in to get better. You’re empowerment is inspiring.
Thank you Sara for sharing your experience of BPD. I've never had a diagnosis or quite such severe symptoms but, having listened to people who have, over the years, I certainly identify with some of the emotions and have thought I might have some BPD traits. I've suffered from panic attacks and anxiety and have had depression too. I'm on long term antidepressants which help greatly. However, as you say,one of the most important things is to hear that others have experienced the same feelings/emotions/symptoms to some extent and to know there is how our brains react and that there are things we can do to control these emotional reactions. I've read a lot about dialectical behaviour therapy and the basic concept of recognising negative emotion/reaction and learning to stop at that point and take control and turn it into something positive or at least not go into state of panic and remain calm, has been enormously helpful. It is life changing when, like you say, you know you aren't alone and when you realise you can gain control of these debilitating emotions. Thank you again - you're a shining light in a ark place.
It's a stigmatized diagnosis so it's a good thing that patient advocates speak up. When I was in a psychiatric unit, when the diagnosis of bipolar disorder was decided, BPAD for bipolar affective disorder was written in my medical records. Then an intern doctor obviously saw that so wrote borderline personality disorder, confusing with BPD. After that error, some of the nurses uses horrible language to describe my distress such as "histrionic", "manipulative" etc. Turned out the hospital had a massive issue with bullying that several staff made formal complaints. Eventually I made a formal complaint. I received an apology from the director who also acknowleded that I had been let down by the hospital. I am still in treatment for PTSD & my psychologist said I don't have borderline personality disorder.
@@meeklio9869 how about not policing people's words? They did use it an insult. Histrionic means excessively dramatic or theatrical. Describing my distress like that is offensive. I don't have histrionic PD. I am diagnosed bipolar disorder & PTSD.
From my experience I think some people say they wanna help just cause it’s the right thing to do but they don’t really give a shit and a lot of friends can’t really be trusted and also don’t care about you. Even with” deep talks” and hanging out a lot
Great convo. TY Jackie for hosting & asking interesting, apt (?'s). TY Sara for sharing yor story. Sara u deserve to reep the benefits of all yor hard work & efforts to get bttr.
I am 52 and was diagnosed with BPD at 50. I have been in therapy for 2 years and have made some progress but still suffer the same problems for the most part. Most of the progress I have made is just accepting I am BPD and being relieved to have an answer to my life long suffering. The hardest part now is I have anger and resentment. I have not lived my life because of BPD and now I am at an age where treatment will take too long for me to be able to benefit fully from treatment. So I am very depressed now as I don’t have any hope of being normal and the best I can hope for is to make slow progress over years and years of hard work. In the meantime I am still alone and isolated and suffering despite being in therapy. I will always struggle with this for the rest of my life.
HUGE neglect in covering the cause of borderline. Plus I don’t want to hear about this persons “great life” when the title of this video is “what it’s like to live with borderline”. This ISNT what it’s like to live with borderline. Maybe it’s like to be cured, if that’s possible. But this was very unhelpful. This actually caused me more trauma. Why am I not like this?????? Poor choice of video title or poor choice of video.
I get y u wud say that but I took it as she was making the point that things were relatively well in her life, she is acknowledging her privileges in school while saying she shud hav been good but she wasn't. Something was wrong even tho she had a bunch of friends or watevr.
The host, Jackie Colbeth, is very distracting with her many little comments, head & face gestures, etc. Would be much better for her to just relax & listen calmly & quietly.
I had the best mother, she helped me by talking to me. In 2005 she had developed ovarian cancer and died. I lost my Father died at the age of 72. Both my parents are gone but I don't have my Mother she was the only one who loved me. She was not perfect but she did the best she could with three mentally ill people including myself in the household. My Father had schizophrenia/PTSD, my sister has it too and I have BPD and depression. Not in good shape I am falling with stinking thinking. I just had surgery on my spine. They gave me Hydros and you say don't take them. I don't want to use and I don't want to get hooked/ They might look at me as a drug addict. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the therapy that will help. Yes I feel negative all the time.
@@miss_8thwonder Bless you. I am better now. I am being managed with therapy and the right medications. Although I still have it and I am prone to ride a rollercoaster of emotions which includes terrible paranoia so I usually get that when I cannot sleep or eat. The outside world is so scary that I stay inside and sleep. It is not the world it used to be and the media gets me reeling with politics. I need to know that when I'm older I won't be sleeping on the street. Thanks for listening to me rant. It's just nice when people really read comments.
Hello.thank you so much for doing this!education towards borderline disorder is definitely necessary and crucial at this time.I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 19.I have struggled since my teenage years.I am now 30 years old and I have learned to trust myself a little more.I am also taking medication for 10 years now and I want to get back in dialectical behavioral therapy very soon as I struggle with agoraphobia and social anxiety.
My family has not supported me thru recovery. That would mean they've done parenting wrong, in their eyes. That isn't possible. "Listen here, ya little sh7t, I'll show you something to cry about."
0:00: 😔 The speaker had serious attempts to end their life before being diagnosed with a mental illness, but eventually got better. 4:10: 😢 The speaker experienced anger and emotional distress during their time at a seminary in England, leading to them leaving the seminary. 8:48: 😔 The speaker was devastated to learn they had bipolar 2 disorder and initially resisted treatment. 12:17: ❤ The speaker's family provided unconditional love and support during their struggle with BPD. 16:44: 💡 Finding comfort and understanding in others who share similar struggles is a crucial part of recovery. 20:32: 👩🎓 Sarah's journey from patient to Advocate and her leadership role in emotions matter. 25:09: 🌟 The speaker is feeling incredibly happy and proud of themselves for overcoming challenges and achieving success in their career and relationships. 29:01: 🤔 The speaker reflects on how their personality traits can sometimes be part of their illness. 33:22: ✨ Changing negative thoughts to positive thoughts is a process that took years to perfect, but it helped in dealing with BPD. Recap by Tammy AI
"Changing negative thoughts to positive thoughts" My question, does this sometimes cause friction with just feeling the anger/sadness? I mean, those are also actual feelings all humans have. How do you differentiate your BPD trigger from having an actual reason to 'feel anger'?
The problem is not the feeling itself. It’s just how intense we feel it, and how we react to it. Most “normal” people can pull the breaks before doing or saying something stupid if you are feeling angry/ frustrated or hurt. People with BPD have the same emotions, except it’s 1000 more intense, and it basically clear our judgment and that’s how we get crazy
SARA thanks for sharing yor experience w/bpd. I am glad u shared that u were really popular b/c idk I guess it paints somewat of a pic of yor life growing up. @ 32:00 u say: " my natural reaction is just you know the way my brain works it's not conducive to having a good relationship w/ anybody or you know being in public." This seems very applicable to person's w/bpd. 2:55 U describe other's impressions of u in hi-school as "the girl that is awesome @ everything but a little crazy" I guess I am wondering how did u hav so many friends if u weren't conducive to having good relationships?? Were u just good enuf @ enuf things in hi-school that people valued u for that & overlooked the crazy part? Like u had enuf plusses to outweigh the minuses? This does not seem typical for people w/bpd
I am ALONE. I do not have any family let alone a supportive one. I am also low income and have Medicare. Did you ever try to get treatment when you are on Medicare? No psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist will take Medicare and they charge $250 to $600 an hour. Who has that kind of money! Meanwhile, the pain is incredible!
How actually someone who suffused from bpd describe his or her emotions to even a therapist or psychiatric Also how to know how to take decisions regarding job
I'm so confused I was watching these videos and made a comment and watched a little more than somebody on Facebook asked me about something and so I think I left the answer to the Facebook question on here and I'm trying to figure out where I fit in with BPD just diagnosed I'm very very confused I apologize if I did that I cannot seem to find it oh well I have to forgive myself if you can
It is not uncommon for ppl with bpd to also be diagnosed with something else, whether it's substance abuse, depression, etc. So it will present differently. It doesn't sound like she had a dual diagnosis. I would love to see a depiction of bpd and major depression, as well as how these things impact your brain, body, personal, work life as you age and what that journey can look like.
You could educate yourself on how it's diagnosed, the criteria, etc. Most importantly, seeking out a reputable and qualified therapist to assist you in better understanding the diagnosis for you, or whoever you're concerned with.
Interviewer is too much of... IDK; I'm going with "over-dramatized, self-centered, just flat-out creepy". Just my take after only 2:36 minutes into a 37+ minute video. Oh my.
I wish you can talk to my daughter. We are missing her and she doesn't speak to us at all. She has poor insight to her condition. This people are trauma bond and not necessarily that they have trauma in life. We dearly loved our daughter but today she calls are evil
@@leatilemogoru I am experiencing the same loss of my son who presents with same behavior. Wondering if there's an opportunity to connect with you to share stories...
Get stories of mental health lived experience sent to you each week: www.medcircle.com/podcast
It is not a life long suffering right, you can actually get better and be cured forever? Into a normal person, if we keep getting heal
The lady in the video is that what she claimed? Is she bpd free now?
Thank you so much for opening up regarding BPD. You are so strong. I have lived with my husband for 36 years and he was diagnosed early in our marriage. We are both retired for two years now and it’s getting impossible to live with him. I feel bad about having to leave him, however, I won’t tolerate the verbal abuse any longer. He never went to counseling. Our three daughters know that I need to leave. Two of them “hate him.”
What I am perplexed about is that there were no signs that he had it. Once we were married, the anger and loud outbursts began. By the time he and I went to counseling, we had three daughters (one was mine from a previous relationship. The therapist saw us for about four visits. He then said he wants to see us separately. I went first and the doctor handed a book entitled “I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me.” After talking about it, he asked how ai stayed for this long. I had three children and I couldn’t imagine where I would go. So, I stayed and we raised our daughters. Of course, there were good times but I walked on eggshells most of the time. We are both retired now and I can’t stand being with him. Too much anger.
Sorry to ramble on. Sara, I applauded you. You are so strong. And I can’t imagine how fulfilling it is to be able to help others that walk in your “old” shoes. ☮️ ❤️ 😊
I was just diagnosed w/ BPD and I’m active duty military, which makes things even more interesting. Needless to say, I’m going to be honorably discharged sometime early next year.
We’re all in this together! Thanks so much for sharing your story, Sarah!! ❤
Good work on your part in accepting the diagnosis. Seriously, that’s a big step. Many of us with bpd run from it and then don’t get the help they need
Thank you Sarah for sharing this story. I have managed my BPD alone for most of my life and recently I have lost control of the positive thinking. For me, living with a child with a complex mental health disorder, all of our funds go to their treatment. This means that there is no funds left for me to get therapy. I'm in Australia and although we have a great mental illness awareness here, there is not enough access to therapy. Even with unlimited funds, since covid times, the need is so much greater than the number of clinicians and mental health workers. I am blessed to see a counsellor once a month for 30 minutes at no cost. They have helped me notice some of my negative thoughts and change them. I'm heartened to know that I can get better, so thank you for that message. I now just need to dig myself out of this. I might try to grab a larger shovel though as it feels like I am digging myself out with a teaspoon right now. Thank you MedCircle, love the work you do. It's helping me get knowledge that I otherwise cannot afford to get.
For those commentators who are questioning the lack of help for under-resourced BPD sufferers, while noting Sara’s well resourced recovery, you might want to read the full video description. Sara started a nonprofit organization to help you. It has a website with resources and is available on a number of social media sites.
My mother had BPD. I came looking for information to better understand what I lived through. She lost her battle. I wish you all courage and loving support in your struggles to get better!
Thank you for your work Sara. I found the video quite useful.
What about the people have no support and no family or a family full of narcissists family is always Downing them no matter what they do they are lesser than their family? Not everybody has support
Likewise, I've seen and heard all that have support. That's amazing. But like you said what about those who doesn't.
That’s random cause I read this after I commented and I was basically saying what your saying.. a lot of people don’t have support also and have toxic/narcissistic family’s who caused this disorder! I always trip when people say they have so much support from friends and family but for me I can see no one gives a fuck. I would never want to go to any friend or family member for help ever. that would only make it worse
True
They are not narcissistic. They don’t understand or they don’t know you have BPD have you shared your diagnosis with your family. And educate them?
I have no family support, I’m considered the back sheep of the family
I love that she shared her story. I love that she was brave enough to share to help others understand and help them have hope. At the same time I feel like it was so vague..... I mean as someone also diagnosed with BPD I understand rage outbursts being a huge issue but I feel like there is so much more to it that maybe she didn't feel comfortable sharing? I mean I'm not being negative towards her by any means I promise I just was left wanting more, like a deeper look into it. I was hoping to listen and go "yes, girl thank God I'm not alone in that" but instead I was left thinking sure my rage is bad but what else? I can't be the only one thinking this.....
I don't know if I have BPD or not, but I've noticed that when I get mad, it's from frustration that builds up, and I have this sensation of tenseness at the bottom back of my head. This sensation moves up and over my head, and down my forehead. When it hits between my eyes, I start to cry, which makes me embarrassed and mad at myself, and this just reinforces the frustration and the cycle. Do you get that sensation, too?
same feeling here.
@@natashamudford4011 It is not a life long suffering right, you can actually get better and be cured forever? Into a normal person, if we keep getting heal
The lady in the video is that what she claimed? Is she bpd free now?
This in an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing! I'm concerned about what my future will look like. I learned here that I will be ok because I accept my diagnosis and I will listen to the people around me who want to help. That is really good advice, Sarah.. Thank you!!
I was raised by a narcissistic mother and a step-dad who wouldn't cross her. I was given everything and a lot of spankings with slapping wherever she could reach. If I didn't complete her image, there was hell to pay. I learned from her that everything was my fault. Instead of forgetting, I can remember as far back as 18 months-2 years old. I was diagnosed with BPD about 8 years ago. I am getting better except for any type of contact with my mom. I don't know if I should do it, but I am now confrontational on the phone or face to face. I just cannot allow the lies and deceptions that it is all me, never her who is wrong.
I had to go no contact with my narc mother for my emotional health.
You have to protect yourself.
Narcs are NEVER WRONG
That's part of the disorder . No self reflection
Mother is a malignant narc . Spent half my life in suicidal😢
ideation 😢😢😢😢
They do not change . Must put mental health 1st - period
Much love ❤️
When we love, we love hard, when we hate, we hate hard,
We feel everything in extremes.
YES
ThIs is fantastic. I appreciate both of you! Sara's family support brought tears to my eyes. Sara has so much light coming through. AND you are both brilliant teachers. Thank you!
I think there’s a big neglect of info in regards to the trauma that often takes place in the home to lead to BPD. This made me think to say after hearing her say she ruined family functions like it was all her fault. Maybe sometimes but not the majority.
I agree! When she “went” to seminary in England, I was thinking “whoa they sent her away!🤯😢
Yeah, it doesn’t sound like she is very self-aware or deeply reflective or contemplative about what’s actually caused or lead up to anything. And this bothers me. Because like you said Britney- there is a huge neglect, and regarding the trauma that shapes our frustrations. And it’s sick that the focus is placed on us and the blame is placed on us and that there’s a problem wrong with us. I have spent thousands of hours of contemplation and journaling and talking. I know a lot of people aren’t willing to spend that amount of time sifting through why is everything so wrong? If I could show you a movie of my life…. If you could feel what I had to feel.. be trapped how I was trapped.. treated how I was treated… then you would understand. In contrast to that, we’ve got me confronting my mother years later about her abuse. And all she will really say is nobody’s perfect. She did the best she can and she loves me. Pretty much a blowoff and denial. But if we could go back with a secret camera and show her face and her actions and her craziness. They would be a different narrative here. Instead, I get to be painted like the crazy one. My “reactive abuse” when I couldn’t take it anymore, made me into the monster in the official paperwork… but the reality was quite different. Thank you for your comment. ❤
@cece that statement is not accurate. empirical data revealed that BPD can also be passed down genetically. They have cases of BPD with individuals who did not experience trauma nor abandonment in their childhood. Let’s not assume that there trauma in her environment unless she says so.
@@josephfrantz2320 this is total rubbish
@Elizabeth C I guess the DSM 5 is rubbish. Any student in psychology can tell you that the majority of the literature agrees that not everyone who has bpd has experienced trauma. If that statement is true the. How do you explain the people who have experienced trauma and abandonment but do not have BPD. Your opinion has no bearing on the subject. I am interested in the literature. You disqualify yourself from the conversation, When you say something is rubbish without anything to back up your claim.
Over stimulus of sight, sounds, feelings all at once, hard to regulate.
@alphadog my grandson thinks video games help him - violent video gaming. What say ye? I’m at a loss to be of any help to him 😢
I'm glad she's doing the work, and getting the support necessary. Family members of the people with BPD need a support too, her poor ex husband. My ex had BPD, his hall pass attitude with his behavior, did tremendous damage to my life.
Agree 100%. I'm surprised no one advises the spouses to run for their lives.
Im trying to support but the silent treatments are making it hard. He isnt diagnosed but his dad had it and tried to commit suicide when he was young so im pretty wure he has it. I agree its been so confusing and hard but im trying to support him
Some of the stigma surrounding BPD does come from fear of dealing with the explosive anger. It's very difficult, especially when the person with BPD does not even remember or seem to care about how their actions affect others. This may be because of the shame after having an episode, but it is also very self absorbed. I would love advice on how to be understanding without enabling bad behavior.
Respond with how you feel instead of first going after the persons behavior. Never assume, relate to things where you can. Also reassure them of your love and support in a genuine manner.
Talk about being negative, this story is very inspiring but how feasible is it for most people. Over and over again I hear of wonderful therapy and different things for people with mental health but it cost an unbelievable amount of money that most people don't have. You are talking about a year of intensive group work three times a week, as well as individual therapy, and then four years of individual therapy. You have to have an enormous amount of resources financial help to be able to do that. I wish to God that people that put on these things which are very informative would be , at least acknowledge it, or offer options for the large amount of people that just don't have this kind of financial resource or at least have resources for people that don't have the money to have intensive therapy. Over and over again I hear it and it just enrages me.
I have CPTSD. Not only is the cost of therpy outrageous, it's REALLY hard even getting in with a therapist (where I live, the waiting list is over a year long). And, there's the fact that many therapists aren't well instructed in personality disorders, trauma, abuse and neglect. I agree 100% with you. Therapy is only feasible for a select priviledged few. What about the rest of us?
@sheilabreannan4481 Who has a therapist they can call up in the middle of the nite or wenevr they need xtra help? A lot of people can't even get an intake appoint w/ a provider. Her situation w/ treatment is a atypical I think.
Wen she said she went to her last yr of hi-school overseas in England I realized her family must have a certain level of wealth. I assume they financed her mental health care & supported her wen getting her education. B/c if she was suicidal & getting help(treatment) was a life or death situation I don't see her being able to support herself financially while going to higher ed.
I've suffered from chronic sciatic pain for over a decade as well as a member of the LGTBQ community. I was recently diagnosed with MDD, GAD and BPD and so overwhelmed with these issues that I wish I was never born. Currently in therapy and completed both DBT and CBT. I don't know what the future hold for me. I'm so glad Sara is able to manage her BPD - Best of Luck!
Love doesn't replace treatment.
this is so important!
Abuse does, though.
@@Julia-b9x huh, what?
Interesting... A psychiatrist once told me I had Borderline Personality Disorder, but he was not a very good psychiatrist. Two other psychiatrists have told me I definitely don't have BPD. In recent years, I discovered I was struggling with CPTSD, and it seems that this is often misdiagnosed as BPD. In recent months, I have also discovered I am HSP/SPS, which also explains why I have CPTSD. One of the problems with HSP/SPS is that it can often be misdiagnosed as Depression or even Bipolar Disorder, because with HSP there can be a lot of mood swings. I would be grateful if you could dedicate an episode to common misdiagnosis, how they occur, and what the mental health care professionals are doing to reduce them.
They will always misdiagnose you with a „safer” solution. HSP is a fancy name for autism/adhd spectrum. And that in most cases means also having cptsd. Cptsd is not even a real diagnose in psychiatric diagnostic yet.
This is amazing, thank you Sarah for your clarity, bravery and especially for all the hard work you put in to get better. You’re empowerment is inspiring.
Thank you Sara for sharing your experience of BPD. I've never had a diagnosis or quite such severe symptoms but, having listened to people who have, over the years, I certainly identify with some of the emotions and have thought I might have some BPD traits. I've suffered from panic attacks and anxiety and have had depression too. I'm on long term antidepressants which help greatly. However, as you say,one of the most important things is to hear that others have experienced the same feelings/emotions/symptoms to some extent and to know there is how our brains react and that there are things we can do to control these emotional reactions. I've read a lot about dialectical behaviour therapy and the basic concept of recognising negative emotion/reaction and learning to stop at that point and take control and turn it into something positive or at least not go into state of panic and remain calm, has been enormously helpful. It is life changing when, like you say, you know you aren't alone and when you realise you can gain control of these debilitating emotions. Thank you again - you're a shining light in a ark place.
She’s very honest and brave. Wish her the best
This is my first time watching a live from MedCircle. It’s so worth it ❤ thanks for the good work 😊
Thanks for tuning in! Check out medcircle.com/podcast to get episodes sent directly to you each week :)
Is it? I’ve been watching it for years. You’re quite a newbie.
Dr Ramani is the professional.
I only really watch her to be honest.
@@FarzanaHaq1 I'm aware of the channel, and Dr. Ramani. I watched a live from this channel for the first time.
It's a stigmatized diagnosis so it's a good thing that patient advocates speak up. When I was in a psychiatric unit, when the diagnosis of bipolar disorder was decided, BPAD for bipolar affective disorder was written in my medical records. Then an intern doctor obviously saw that so wrote borderline personality disorder, confusing with BPD. After that error, some of the nurses uses horrible language to describe my distress such as "histrionic", "manipulative" etc. Turned out the hospital had a massive issue with bullying that several staff made formal complaints. Eventually I made a formal complaint. I received an apology from the director who also acknowleded that I had been let down by the hospital. I am still in treatment for PTSD & my psychologist said I don't have borderline personality disorder.
Hello, histrionic is also a personality disorder so best not call it horrible language. Maybe you aren't aware..
@@meeklio9869 how about not policing people's words? They did use it an insult. Histrionic means excessively dramatic or theatrical. Describing my distress like that is offensive.
I don't have histrionic PD. I am diagnosed bipolar disorder & PTSD.
im a 6ft 4 male who struggles daily with bpd and all 9 symptoms, my parents think like those asshat nurses. its so painful
You totally said my entire life story. I have BPD. Thanks for sharing there is so much stigma with BPD
From my experience I think some people say they wanna help just cause it’s the right thing to do but they don’t really give a shit and a lot of friends can’t really be trusted and also don’t care about you. Even with” deep talks” and hanging out a lot
Great convo. TY Jackie for hosting & asking interesting, apt (?'s). TY Sara for sharing yor story. Sara u deserve to reep the benefits of all yor hard work & efforts to get bttr.
Thank you, Sara Rosenberg 💓
It would be really interesting if you could also do a similar series featuring someone with NPD.
4:35 "never saw someone get as angry as u." is such a classic for a person w/ bpd I think
or as sad
2:23 "I thought everything that happened was my fault"
I had no idea that self blame was a component of bpd
So much stigma around BPD, connection to others with BPD isn't share in general.
I am 52 and was diagnosed with BPD at 50. I have been in therapy for 2 years and have made some progress but still suffer the same problems for the most part. Most of the progress I have made is just accepting I am BPD and being relieved to have an answer to my life long suffering. The hardest part now is I have anger and resentment. I have not lived my life because of BPD and now I am at an age where treatment will take too long for me to be able to benefit fully from treatment. So I am very depressed now as I don’t have any hope of being normal and the best I can hope for is to make slow progress over years and years of hard work. In the meantime I am still alone and isolated and suffering despite being in therapy. I will always struggle with this for the rest of my life.
im a 45y old man with bpd and i kind of feel the same
I am alone & isolated too and I am 23!
it is not a lifelong suffering, you can really get better, that's what she is describing about, don't yu believe In her?
HUGE neglect in covering the cause of borderline.
Plus I don’t want to hear about this persons “great life” when the title of this video is “what it’s like to live with borderline”.
This ISNT what it’s like to live with borderline. Maybe it’s like to be cured, if that’s possible. But this was very unhelpful.
This actually caused me more trauma. Why am I not like this??????
Poor choice of video title or poor choice of video.
I thought and feel exactly the same after watching this. Not at all what I was expecting.
But it gave me hope! not entirely but somewhat positivity from them
Resembles depression in that the brain tends to start with a negative thought.
Well , she was popular in high school . That seems to be very important to her as she mentioned it multiple times .
lmao
That’s all you took in from watching this? Lol
I get y u wud say that but I took it as she was making the point that things were relatively well in her life, she is acknowledging her privileges in school while saying she shud hav been good but she wasn't. Something was wrong even tho she had a bunch of friends or watevr.
@@juliebraden great explanation! Totally agree.
Yes! There are other people like you! ❤️You go girl!
I think there is a lot of misunderstanding about BPD, very important to dispel any myths whether in the medical community or in the public at large
The host, Jackie Colbeth, is very distracting with her many little comments, head & face gestures, etc. Would be much better for her to just relax & listen calmly & quietly.
I second that comment.
No, she's really great! That's how a bpd should get a emotion response
I had the best mother, she helped me by talking to me. In 2005 she had developed ovarian cancer and died. I lost my Father died at the age of 72. Both my parents are gone but I don't have my Mother she was the only one who loved me. She was not perfect but she did the best she could with three mentally ill people including myself in the household. My Father had schizophrenia/PTSD, my sister has it too and I have BPD and depression. Not in good shape I am falling with stinking thinking. I just had surgery on my spine. They gave me Hydros and you say don't take them. I don't want to use and I don't want to get hooked/ They might look at me as a drug addict. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the therapy that will help. Yes I feel negative all the time.
I am here, I am listening
@@miss_8thwonder Bless you. I am better now. I am being managed with therapy and the right medications. Although I still have it and I am prone to ride a rollercoaster of emotions which includes terrible paranoia so I usually get that when I cannot sleep or eat. The outside world is so scary that I stay inside and sleep. It is not the world it used to be and the media gets me reeling with politics. I need to know that when I'm older I won't be sleeping on the street. Thanks for listening to me rant. It's just nice when people really read comments.
Hello.thank you so much for doing this!education towards borderline disorder is definitely necessary and crucial at this time.I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 19.I have struggled since my teenage years.I am now 30 years old and I have learned to trust myself a little more.I am also taking medication for 10 years now and I want to get back in dialectical behavioral therapy very soon as I struggle with agoraphobia and social anxiety.
My family has not supported me thru recovery. That would mean they've done parenting wrong, in their eyes. That isn't possible. "Listen here, ya little sh7t, I'll show you something to cry about."
0:00: 😔 The speaker had serious attempts to end their life before being diagnosed with a mental illness, but eventually got better.
4:10: 😢 The speaker experienced anger and emotional distress during their time at a seminary in England, leading to them leaving the seminary.
8:48: 😔 The speaker was devastated to learn they had bipolar 2 disorder and initially resisted treatment.
12:17: ❤ The speaker's family provided unconditional love and support during their struggle with BPD.
16:44: 💡 Finding comfort and understanding in others who share similar struggles is a crucial part of recovery.
20:32: 👩🎓 Sarah's journey from patient to Advocate and her leadership role in emotions matter.
25:09: 🌟 The speaker is feeling incredibly happy and proud of themselves for overcoming challenges and achieving success in their career and relationships.
29:01: 🤔 The speaker reflects on how their personality traits can sometimes be part of their illness.
33:22: ✨ Changing negative thoughts to positive thoughts is a process that took years to perfect, but it helped in dealing with BPD.
Recap by Tammy AI
It is not a life long suffering right, you can actually get better?
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🏾
"Changing negative thoughts to positive thoughts"
My question, does this sometimes cause friction with just feeling the anger/sadness? I mean, those are also actual feelings all humans have. How do you differentiate your BPD trigger from having an actual reason to 'feel anger'?
The problem is not the feeling itself. It’s just how intense we feel it, and how we react to it. Most “normal” people can pull the breaks before doing or saying something stupid if you are feeling angry/ frustrated or hurt. People with BPD have the same emotions, except it’s 1000 more intense, and it basically clear our judgment and that’s how we get crazy
What about someone that has no one
SARA thanks for sharing yor experience w/bpd. I am glad u shared that u were really popular b/c idk I guess it paints somewat of a pic of yor life growing up.
@ 32:00 u say: " my natural reaction is just you know the way my brain works it's not conducive to having a good relationship w/ anybody or you know being in public."
This seems very applicable to person's w/bpd.
2:55 U describe other's impressions of u in hi-school as "the girl that is awesome @ everything but a little crazy"
I guess I am wondering how did u hav so many friends if u weren't conducive to having good relationships?? Were u just good enuf @ enuf things in hi-school that people valued u for that & overlooked the crazy part? Like u had enuf plusses to outweigh the minuses? This does not seem typical for people w/bpd
Cool story.
Now do one for people without a bunch of privileges, support and opportunities...
😮💨🙄
Thank you for this video
I am ALONE. I do not have any family let alone a supportive one. I am also low income and have Medicare. Did you ever try to get treatment when you are on Medicare? No psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist will take Medicare and they charge $250 to $600 an hour. Who has that kind of money! Meanwhile, the pain is incredible!
Fortunately this nightmare will be over soon.
How do I know I genuinely love someone?
good thing BPD is real you could never punch someone in the face without it
How actually someone who suffused from bpd describe his or her emotions to even a therapist or psychiatric
Also how to know how to take decisions regarding job
I'm reaching out for help....can you be diagnosed in an hour? Plus isn't quiet bpd recognised by professionals?
I can relate to her story
How do you get help from bad in the UK,I've battle with this for 20+ years & I having no support from my mental health team xxx
Thank you! 💙🙌
Thanks for watching and supporting mental health stories 💙
Is she on medication or did she cure it through DBT?
Looking for a therapist like the one you had . Please guide
Support is really not so easy to get when you don’t have enough money
Wait…where is Kyle ?!? 😢
I'm so confused I was watching these videos and made a comment and watched a little more than somebody on Facebook asked me about something and so I think I left the answer to the Facebook question on here and I'm trying to figure out where I fit in with BPD just diagnosed I'm very very confused I apologize if I did that I cannot seem to find it oh well I have to forgive myself if you can
It is not uncommon for ppl with bpd to also be diagnosed with something else, whether it's substance abuse, depression, etc. So it will present differently. It doesn't sound like she had a dual diagnosis. I would love to see a depiction of bpd and major depression, as well as how these things impact your brain, body, personal, work life as you age and what that journey can look like.
I would love to be interviewed so I can talk about my own experience ❤
Hi somebody please can tell me how do I know if I have Dissociative Identity disorder?
google the symptoms if you have 5+ go to your doctor and they’re probably transfer you to a specialist
You could educate yourself on how it's diagnosed, the criteria, etc. Most importantly, seeking out a reputable and qualified therapist to assist you in better understanding the diagnosis for you, or whoever you're concerned with.
Interviewer is too much of... IDK; I'm going with "over-dramatized, self-centered, just flat-out creepy". Just my take after only 2:36 minutes into a 37+ minute video. Oh my.
5 years of therapy? Ugh
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍❤❤❤
Imagine her path of destruction! All of her victims
These people are highly destructive
You spent, WAY too9 m,uch time inb the beginning with stuff you were going to bore us with again later. Good bye waste of my time.
you dont understand this
@@me2846 that’s a stupid response.
I wish you can talk to my daughter.
We are missing her and she doesn't speak to us at all.
She has poor insight to her condition.
This people are trauma bond and not necessarily that they have trauma in life.
We dearly loved our daughter but today she calls are evil
@@leatilemogoru I’m so sorry about your child.
@@leatilemogoru I am experiencing the same loss of my son who presents with same behavior.
Wondering if there's an opportunity to connect with you to share stories...
i wish i had money for all that therapy lol