The guilt no one talks about after moving abroad

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  • Опубліковано 4 січ 2025

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  • @AndromedaMoon888
    @AndromedaMoon888 3 місяці тому +429

    the "guest star on a TV show that shows up every once in a while" is real

    • @Marc42
      @Marc42 2 місяці тому

      💯

    • @DeckardIndy
      @DeckardIndy Місяць тому

      I have been living abroad for 20 years now, and this feeling never goes away. You will always feel the pull from the place and people you are away from at that moment...

  • @Livinglaughinglovinglife
    @Livinglaughinglovinglife 4 місяці тому +1217

    As someone who lived in the Netherlands for 7 years and moved back home, don’t feel guilty for choosing yourself right now. If the time ever comes for you to move back home, you’ll know. You’ll feel it so deeply that you wouldn’t be able to ignore it. In 9 days it’ll be 2 years since I moved back and I’m still rediscovering the place I grew up in. In a way everything stayed the same, but it also changed a lot. But till this day I never regretted the decision. I love being back home ❤. But if you don’t feel it don’t rush to come back. In a way home will always be there, but the chance to experience the world on your own when you’re young, learn, grow, be independent won’t always be there. Enjoy your time abroad, and if the time comes, you’ll know.

    • @bibijaneangelica
      @bibijaneangelica  4 місяці тому +38

      Wow thank you for sharing this❤️!!!!

    • @Livinglaughinglovinglife
      @Livinglaughinglovinglife 4 місяці тому +10

      @@bibijaneangelica For sure! Greattt vid! Loved it! It for sure brought back a lot of memories from my time as a student. You really captured the essence of what it feels like to be a student abroad. Beautiful video 🫂

    • @scholas_creative_space
      @scholas_creative_space 4 місяці тому +5

      Such beautiful advice! Thanks for sharing

    • @linlattwaialexa6330
      @linlattwaialexa6330 3 місяці тому +2

      Thank you for sharing this! ❤ this advice calmed down a lot of the anxious voices in my head.

    • @emiliaa5223
      @emiliaa5223 3 місяці тому +4

      True!! But at the same time I dont want to take home and the people that make me feel at home for granted. Especially my grandparents. Im very close with them and want to spend their last years by making as many good memories as possible. Im so torn apart by studying in a different region and being present there and at the same time staying close with family so hard ahhh

  • @mojoJojo-dheeraj
    @mojoJojo-dheeraj 4 місяці тому +799

    So there is no unique experience, we all have the same thoughts and feelings no matter from which country we are

    • @titotobi-lawal2083
      @titotobi-lawal2083 4 місяці тому +125

      Like James Baldwin said “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read" in this case then we watch

  • @danielvaldecantos3629
    @danielvaldecantos3629 3 місяці тому +345

    it’s been 9 years since I’ve moved and I’m really glad I left and haven’t missed my family since. it’s a lot easier to not miss them when it’s abusive.

    • @olivia-b6j6g
      @olivia-b6j6g 3 місяці тому +52

      i recently stopped talking to the last family member i had contact with - my mum. it's been really difficult. but i can reason to myself why i stopped talking to them all. i'm 24 and moved across the world last year with no money or connections. wishing you the best

    • @bibijaneangelica
      @bibijaneangelica  3 місяці тому +47

      Oh wow! Im happy for you that you made that decision for yourself and for a happier life❤️ I interviewed someone in a similar situation, i uploaded some parts of that conversation on my instagram in case you're interested in hearing that perspective. Wishing you the best x

    • @samipso
      @samipso 2 місяці тому +5

      I moved back in with my parents after 10 years. It kinda made sense, but it doesn't really. Don't move back with your parents ever (in our case).
      Once you've gotten used to your new normal life, going back will only disappoint.

    • @komyn27
      @komyn27 2 місяці тому +5

      @@bibijaneangelica Glad you also covered other perspectives. That was something that struck me while I was watching: everyone in this video has a good relationship with their families.
      On a more personal note, having a partner with you shifts your perspective even more. For me, my husband is home. So long as he moves with me, it doesn't take long for a new place to feel like home. I think it would be interesting to follow up with this group if they decide to get married to a local or another expat, etc.

  • @EVBell-gz8iv
    @EVBell-gz8iv 4 місяці тому +383

    lovely people and video, I moved abroad age 26 to Prague (from the US), that was almost 9 years ago now and I'm still here... i had so many experiences that touched on what these interviews discussed. Missing the death of my grandmother, weddings of childhood best friends, the birth of my sister's first baby... feeling guilty that I've chosen to be absent. Yet when I'm visiting, I always have the feeling of missing my home in Prague too, this is the place that I've chosen and made my own, where I feel... at home. My girlfriend, our two cats and our nice flat, our routines and my work downtown, the beauty of the city and feeling that, yes, if I could live anywhere in the world, i would choose to live here.... and that is exactly what I did. There are so many places all around the world I could live in, and I chose this one. Choosing to uproot yourself and put roots down elsewhere is a very empowering feeling, even with all the downsides.

    • @shine-uy5fq
      @shine-uy5fq 4 місяці тому +6

      thanks for sharing your story. i also strongly desire to plant my roots abroad

    • @camillem8011
      @camillem8011 3 місяці тому +1

      if I could live anywhere in the world it would probably be Prague too

    • @WhizPill
      @WhizPill 3 місяці тому +1

      Cool concept

    • @ejvaklokockova
      @ejvaklokockova 3 місяці тому

      Thanks for sharing your story. I am from Prague and decided to go to Canada, I feel you! I'm happy you found home there, I love how the international community is growing in the city :)

    • @clarapuigdetorres-solanot8447
      @clarapuigdetorres-solanot8447 2 місяці тому

      Next February it will be 5 years since I moved from Spain to Belgium. This year my husband and I got married and bought a place here. We have chosen this place to be our home. Created a family with our little dog. So much to be grateful for. This is my home and I love it.
      Nevertheless, this year I missed my first nephew being born, even though I tried to fix my vacations around my sisters due date my nephew had other plans. My grandmother decided not to come to my wedding because she did not want to travel abroad. And I could not celebrate my dad’s and mom’s 60th birthdays because of a flight workers stile and a work event. I have felt so guilty for choosing to be away… But also… I just do not feel like myself in Spain anymore… I need the distance to be myself. To hear my own voice without the noise of family drama. It is hard.

  • @Tominjj
    @Tominjj 3 місяці тому +274

    I’M BAWLING 😭 I haven’t even been abroad, but it has always been my dream and these are the exact conversations I have with myself 😢❤

    • @ryanpangilinan5803
      @ryanpangilinan5803 3 місяці тому +14

      This feeling is so real. Haven’t lived abroad either but the desire to is strong, yet the doubts always there

    • @ChineseKiwi
      @ChineseKiwi 3 місяці тому +2

      Ask yourself: How much you want it? - as deep within you, you will always find that drive to implement the things you need to achieve it. It may take some time, but if you have that deep seated heartfelt drive, you will do what's needed. You will have doubts, you will be scared, but if you want it deep down, it will override that anxiety.

    • @jho7389
      @jho7389 3 місяці тому

      It can be done easy, for example if you find a work at company with offices in different countries. This is how I moved to UK. Your start will be easier as you would know how to do your job and you could potentially know your new colleagues already. They would be your friendly touch point.

    • @SjorsTimmer
      @SjorsTimmer 2 місяці тому +2

      One hack is that many European countries offer affordable higher education programs, this will also give you the visa to study there.

  • @rahuldeepattri9244
    @rahuldeepattri9244 4 місяці тому +342

    This video was an emotional rollercoaster for me! It made me laugh, tear up, and by the end, I felt so deeply connected. Thank you for creating something that resonates on such a profound level. It’s amazing how you captured the shared experiences that connect us all. Truly impactful work!

    • @JimmyYuen-n5n
      @JimmyYuen-n5n 3 місяці тому

      They say no pain no gain the grass is green on the other side

  • @bIuejack
    @bIuejack 2 місяці тому +54

    “Seeking something missing, missing something left behind.
    Maybe with good luck, we’ll find what eluded us, in the places we once called home.”

  • @cynthiac.guttlein1685
    @cynthiac.guttlein1685 4 місяці тому +158

    Last week I moved from Argentina to Switzerland. You can't even imagine how much I needed this video. I have to thank you and these beautiful people you interviewed ❤

    • @ameliaporta7539
      @ameliaporta7539 3 місяці тому +5

      Girl same I moved last week from Italy to Zurich, really needed this. Good luck with everything

    • @cynthiac.guttlein1685
      @cynthiac.guttlein1685 3 місяці тому

      @@ameliaporta7539 you too girl. Stay strong 💪🏼

  • @jeannouemina
    @jeannouemina 2 місяці тому +31

    I moved across the Atlantic when I was 19, and lived abroad for 4 years (as I was doing my bachelor degree in Canada). I’m quite shy and I’ve never felt lonelier in my life. This made me desperate for relationships (friendly & romantic) and really affected my mental health. Not having a strong support system (I.e. people who really know you and who you can count on) is f-ing hard and makes you really vulnerable. Moving abroad can also builds up character but that really depends on the person. I think it’s not for everyone and the timing needs to be right too. I’m still living abroad but much closer to family & friends.

    • @sakora5425
      @sakora5425 2 місяці тому +1

      It's incredible to read this because this is exactly my experience. Everyone said moving abroad is great and amazing but I never thought about how lonely it could get, especially for more introverted people like myself. My mental health is not great right now too and I don't know what will make it better. I also think I will move closer the my family once I finish my degree here but I feel really bad for making this decision in the first place.

  • @esmeedenters
    @esmeedenters 4 місяці тому +107

    Loved this video! I’ve been living abroad for over 10 years now and the guilt of abandoning my family is always in the back of my mind. This video has made me feel less alone. So thank you for sharing your story and that of the others so beautifully. It’s nice to know there is a community of people all over the world that feel the same. 🌍 ❤

    • @adriannamarszal
      @adriannamarszal 3 місяці тому

      exact same here for me - also 10 years and also this dominating and omnipresent sense of guilt… 😭

  • @tottoriteal9661
    @tottoriteal9661 3 місяці тому +58

    This video is incredible, I believe, not because someone has said something of incredible wisdom, but simply because it’s the first time I’ve heard these words spoken out loud - the same words I have chewed in my head time and time again. The excitement, the confusion, the loneliness, the guilt, the fear, the bravery, all a bit unique to each, but also all the bits shared among us. Thank you, for letting me hear these words.

  • @UnJadedJade
    @UnJadedJade 4 місяці тому +74

    This video is so gorgeous! I studied abroad for 4 years and could absolutely relate to this. Thank you for sharing their stories 🦋

  • @inepthabit
    @inepthabit 3 місяці тому +55

    I really enjoyed this video! I'm Dutch and moved away from Amsterdam to Berlin when I was 18. Moved to Seoul when I was 22, Brighton when I was 24, and have lived in Vancouver since I was 26, and I've settled here longterm I think, I'm 34 now.
    It was easier for me because my mom passed away when I was 15, and my relationship with my dad was poor. I didn't feel much guilt or pressure to return. The main thing I missed and still do miss is my brother and his children, but we frequently talk and I visit every year. I still enjoy spending time in the Netherlands, but it doesn't feel like home anymore, only in a nostalgic sense do I sometimes miss it but that time and place doesn't really exist anymore.

    • @nathonso_edits
      @nathonso_edits 2 місяці тому +2

      What you said at the end of your comment really resonated with me, I've been struggling a lot recently with being away from my hometown, but when I am back 'home' to visit I don't feel quite the way I thought I would and I think it's due to me being nostalgic for a time that doesn't exist anymore, my friends have grown up and moved on with their life and I'm not a kid anymore. What I'm missing is just a memory of a time and place, it doesn't physically exist anymore, just inside of me.

    • @aliyasanusi7360
      @aliyasanusi7360 16 днів тому

      Where was the best place in your opinion?

  • @shine-uy5fq
    @shine-uy5fq 4 місяці тому +105

    What a coincidence I stumbled upon this video. I have only briefly told my family and friends that I will not be living and working in the US and let’s just say the reactions are bittersweet and disapproving. However, they know that I’m an ambitious person and will live my life however I want (moving abroad). I explain to them that I’m not abandoning them but I need to move with all the conditions and circumstances to consider. Family and friends are super important of course but I can’t live a life where I feel I have no control of what I do. They probably think I’ll snap out of it or it’s a phase but they are no different as they immigrated to the US from their home country and I’m doing the same but the difference is I have more resources to rely on-in which I’m grateful for. I want to fall in love with life.

    • @shine-uy5fq
      @shine-uy5fq 4 місяці тому +8

      sorry I wish I can express myself better but these lovely people said everything I wanted to express

    • @fellthestar
      @fellthestar 2 місяці тому +7

      I really liked that last line -- that you want to fall in love with life. I hope you find everything you're looking for out there and more.

  • @claracostamilan4415
    @claracostamilan4415 3 місяці тому +46

    I left to study/live abroad at 19, and it was the most scary and incredible experience of my life. I've moved back home after 2 years, because of financial difficulties and burnout, but the hardships don't make me regret it. I value my hometown, my family and friends much more now, and I find myself very happy after a year of the also scary decision of coming back. I think if you have that feeling that you want to do it, deep in you -- like a bird clawing at your chest -- you should always do it. I do recommend to do it with very planned finances and support if you can (but back then I wouldn't have listened anyway). You figure it out. You live through what you need to live, and you come out so much better for it. You get to know who you are outside of what you had always been. I want to do it again in the future, but with a more grown-up head. But I only got the slightly-more-grown-up-mind I have now because of the teenager who ran to the airport. :)

  • @jaimetan
    @jaimetan 2 місяці тому +19

    As someone who’s been away from my hometown (Singapore) now for almost 20 years, having moved 5 countries in that time (Boston, Cape Town, Sydney, Amsterdam, Zurich), I can relate. Nowhere feels like “home” anymore but at the same time picking up and moving to the next place on the next adventure becomes a lot easier. It’s definitely helped me live life on my terms without feeling like I’m being judged.

  • @00GreenThea00
    @00GreenThea00 2 місяці тому +2

    I've lived abroad for about 7 years now. The guilt is the hardest with my sisters. One of them moved 200kms away from our hometown with no guilt, but is guilttripping me for moving 2000kms away.
    I think the most important is to find a family abroad. If you just live for a corporation, career or friends that come and go, you'll always wonder if you're sacrificing more than you get. Find your chosen family.

  • @maria.speaks.english
    @maria.speaks.english 3 місяці тому +46

    I’ve been living abroad on and off for a while, and recently I came back home after my last trip abroad. Looking back, I think I could’ve had a better experience if the country I chose aligned with me better. I ended up in a place with a different religion and a very different mentality, and it’s made me realize just how important it is to choose the right country when moving. It can seriously affect your mindset, well-being, and overall experience. Has anyone else experienced choosing the 'wrong' place to live abroad?

    • @cristinaflora373
      @cristinaflora373 3 місяці тому +15

      I moved from Italy to the US last year. I study sustainability and I have a very anti-consumption mindset, so I knew the impact would've been hard. It has been, it drives me crazy how broken this country is. But I'm also lucky to have chosen a place with natural beauty, and I've been focusing on loving myself more and finding more true connections, so this helps balancing things out. I hope your experience will help you make aligned choices in the future 🩷

    • @camillaholst7321
      @camillaholst7321 2 місяці тому +2

      Good and important question. Hope there is a lot of people who brings some answers to live.
      Greeting from a dane - living in....Denmark ☀️

    • @souhilab822
      @souhilab822 2 місяці тому +2

      I have been living in Paris for decades. A very beautiful town with a rich cultural life. But people are very self oriented and connexions are so superficial. I am from a more traditional culture where people are warm and supportive. Thinking of leaving to my home town where all my family lives. But it’s not so easy ..

  • @court6389
    @court6389 3 місяці тому +21

    This video came at such a pivotal time for me! I’m moving from Australia to Europe for the 3rd time in my adulthood (I’m 24) in 8 weeks and this time around has been especially daunting. This will be my most permenant move yet and uprooting is hard when your family and friends are starting to have children and getting married, it’s hard to chose yourself and your life path. I have to remind myself that their life is what they’ve chosen to do, and I have all the autonomy to chose my own too.

  • @orsygodri1155
    @orsygodri1155 2 місяці тому +3

    I found a quote once that resonated with me more than the usual „home is a feeling…“ and it goes like this „Home is not where you are born, home is where all your attempts to escape cease“.
    Hope this helps the people reading this, even if only a little.

  • @inesluque3118
    @inesluque3118 4 місяці тому +39

    This video is such a true reflection of all the thoughts and phases a person that has moved out goes through. I rarely comment on UA-cam, but I found this video really emotional. I sent it to my family so they could understand in words how I feel being abroad, which I think sometimes they struggle to understand. I think one thing that isn't mentioned in this video is that often it feels like you are the only person who has moved abroad in your circle that is having those feelings and second thoughts, cause everyone that is in a similar position to you seems to really enjoy their lives (rightly so). It is only rarely that you might talk about these deep things with friends. It has been reassuring to see that indeed, everyone feels like this and that it's a shared, common thing. Honestly, best video I have watched in a while. I wish more content creators got deep into the reality of what being a human is like!

  • @nsmplc
    @nsmplc 3 місяці тому +10

    Moving abroad has been a desire of mine recently and watching this video and seeing these wonderful people talk about the same stuff that goes trough my mind every time I think about actually doing it was really important to me and honestly brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful video, thank you so much for sharing these feelings.

  • @studyn1579
    @studyn1579 3 місяці тому +14

    Why am I crying after watching this vid…
    It’s so positively sad, it’s so poetic and full of life
    The level of openness really helps to pose the questions one doesn’t usually ask oneself
    Thank you very much for this experience

  • @pedrovb17
    @pedrovb17 4 місяці тому +44

    Great video! As someone who moved away alone myself to Amsterdam, it was really nice hearing about these experiences. A quote that reminds me of my conviction is from French Dispatch: "Seeking something missing. Missing something left behind. Maybe, with good luck, we'll find what eluded us in the places we once called home"

  • @WillsCamera
    @WillsCamera 4 місяці тому +44

    this has been such a big theme in my mind lately - you captured the rollercoaster of emotions & thoughts so well !

  • @cocodee000
    @cocodee000 4 дні тому

    The thing is not knowing when to come back, like the nostalgia can scale up so much that you need to go back, but then feel the fear that you might not go out again triggers.

  • @AsadAbrar12
    @AsadAbrar12 2 місяці тому +5

    As someone who just moved to another country from my home country, this video really hits hard. The guilt of leaving home and the opportunities being away from home give you is such a juxtaposition in life.

  • @craftyrouze
    @craftyrouze 2 місяці тому +15

    I can relate to everything that has been said. The saddest part is that now I want to go back, but my hometown feels like abroad and Im no longer 18, without a care in the world. Im a mom myself, and this decision will no longer affect only me. It's hard to take the step.

  • @martincotterill823
    @martincotterill823 3 місяці тому +9

    Rahuldeep, what a lovely guy. I'm 60, born in Manchester UK, youngest of 7 kids, met my wife during my studies, when I was 18. After my degree I moved to Germany, got married, built a career, a house and eventually we had two beautiful boys. They are now 22 and 23, and the youngest is now setting up house with his girlfriend. I've always had mixed feelings towards my family and parents, so moving to Germany wasn't difficult for me, but I didn't develope a real adult relationship with my parents, they knew me deeply last as an 18 year old and I didn't live through their development in life. I wish I had developed an adult relationship with my Mum before she died, but if you don't live near, you can't. The people in Saarland, Germany are great and welcoming, but I neither really belong here, nor do I belong in Manchester anymore. So, yes, Rahuldeep, you're right, home is where the people you love most are. Our youngest has moved out and I now know how true that is.

  • @ilmgcs
    @ilmgcs 3 місяці тому +40

    As someone who did eventually move back home from abroad, I can share that it took awhile to transition back to life at home. It was a whole process and I’m happy to be home for now. But I still have inklings sometimes to move abroad again and wonder what my life would’ve been like if I didn’t move back home.

  • @petrarchsgal
    @petrarchsgal 3 місяці тому +21

    As someone who has been abroad now for four months, this video truly resonated with me. I've lived abroad before, but returned home for my family. And now, I am away from home again because I think this is the right decision for me. But that doesn't make it any easier. Hearing these people's stories makes me feel less alone in the challenges I've faced :) thank you all for sharing

  • @mttknvlalp_
    @mttknvlalp_ 4 місяці тому +8

    This really explains how hard for an individual to make a decision for himself/herself alone. The securedness and ability to choose it is really cool. As we grow up we really realize what matters slowly in out own life and the reality of being alone and exploring something new with fear and dedication. I have learned a lot

  • @fran1299
    @fran1299 3 місяці тому +13

    I moved abroad 5 months ago at the age of 17 from Colombia to Spain, and it has been a really hard journey. I was so used to living with my mom and my younger sister, it has always been the three of us and when I decided to move and start college here and live with my dad who I am not very close with it was really surprising for my whole family. Every day I wonder if I made the right decision coming here, I miss everything about my country, and the constant feeling of not knowing when I will see them again is frustrating. This video came along when I needed it the most, now I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, there's nothing wrong with missing home and having some lows. I think you portrayed every little thought and feeling very well.💌

  • @luketinel8969
    @luketinel8969 Місяць тому +3

    I moved to France from the USA three years ago. I'm jealous of the people in the video who've moved out and created fulfilling (if difficult at times) lives. After all my time here, I still haven't made any real friends and am overwhelmingly alone; I can't remember the last time that I felt the same kind of joy or happiness that the girl described just riding her bike around Amsterdam.
    The other girl's comment about going home and seeing her parents get older every time hits very close to me, I visit home and can only think about the the time that I'm not able to spend with them while I rot away in a foreign country.
    I left grad school to come to France and the way that life seems to have stagnated for me here makes me deeply regret my actions, I feel like I threw away a wonderful opportunity out of some big hubris or naive desire to experience new things or whatever. And to be faire, I've seen some new things and had some new experiences, but I just wonder at what cost. All of the things that I experienced out here I did alone, and having no one to ever share these with is a deeply alienating experience.
    Thanks for putting this together and sharing these perspectives, it was an interesting watch.

  • @eufrasiaerika3311
    @eufrasiaerika3311 2 місяці тому +6

    Watching this video and trying so hard not to cry, especially when they talk about parents getting older. Man, I'm from Indonesia and living in Amsterdam now. Life expectancy in Indo is around 72, and my parents are in their late 50s. I only go back once a year, and it breaks my heart knowing I might only see them 18 more times. 😭 I really want to see them more often, but it's just hard, and traveling to Amsterdam is too far for them. So yeah, I really hope they stay healthy and live a long life, or maybe I can find a super chill job that lets me work from Indo for a long time. 🤞

  • @melisaorozco6723
    @melisaorozco6723 4 місяці тому +11

    Giiiiirl, this is beautiful. 7 years half living in Amsterdam/Nederlands. Came with 21 , never lived before abroad, I arrived pregnant. I haven't come back. this is emotional ❤

  • @user-bs7np6xm7o
    @user-bs7np6xm7o 2 місяці тому +1

    this made me tear 🥺 thank you for collecting everyone’s experiences (even yours) so beautifully. it made space for what it means to adult in all its conflictual feelings we feel. thank you everyone who candidly shared their own stories 🤎

  • @MeganOtnes
    @MeganOtnes Місяць тому

    This brought me to tears !! Such a relatable film... I've been living abroad on and off for 4 years and the older I get the more I feel that guilt for leaving my family. Leaving home is all so bittersweet.

  • @MissieannaEdwards
    @MissieannaEdwards 4 місяці тому +14

    I think it’s nice to see so many of us have gone through this journey and emotions just like how I have and still currently going through. Great theme and fantastically shot Bibi❤️

  • @aylarsedaei8134
    @aylarsedaei8134 4 місяці тому +8

    It's been one month since I moved to Canada when I saw this, and it is so accurate and, at the same time, incredibly heartwarming. I'm in tears.

  • @lauralima5108
    @lauralima5108 3 місяці тому +6

    This was so relatable. Thank you for sharing and adding your artistic touch to it. My dad passed away last week, and since then, I've been thinking a lot about moving back home. I've been questioning whether being where I am right now is worthwhile. I have these goals, but I keep wondering about the sacrifices I'm making for them. I don’t have the answers yet, but this video helped me better understand my feelings. Thank you.

  • @anaelle3985
    @anaelle3985 4 дні тому

    Thank you so much for this video. I relate to everything they said. The constant homesickness feeling when you're abroad, living your life on your own. Then when you go back home, the feeling that it is not really your home anymore ; things changed, people died, your parents got older. When I first moved out, I didn't realize that it was going to be this hard but nowadays, I feel that guilt more and more. Living here makes me sad, but going back also makes me sad. It always feels like I have to sacrifice something. I keep feeling jealous of people who still live with their family. Who should I call if something goes wrong ? Who can I rely on ? I'm so anxious all the time, having to be everything all at once (a housekeeper, a good student, my own doctor, my own best friend). I guess we all have the same thoughts and feelings. What works the best for me, is to make friends with people from my home country. They make my heart feel lighter and remind me of home. I don't know, either, how long I'll be staying here but I hope one day I get to move back

  • @VivianFernandezViteri
    @VivianFernandezViteri 3 місяці тому +4

    Thank you so much for making this video🥹✨
    It’s been two years since I moved to the US, from Spain. There are so many topics I can relate to in this video. The first time I missed my mama’s bday, long distance friendships, Christmas without my family, asking yourself ‘do I really miss my life there or is it just fomo?’. And the mixed feelings of the cultural shocks and realizing everything that’s f up the american culture, but also being grateful of all the opportunities this country has offered me.
    If could recommend anything to anyone that’s thinking about moving abroad: if you have the chance, do it. In my opinion, better to tried it and then moving back if it doesn’t work, than always wondering if you should’ve done it.

  • @moonlightblue9196
    @moonlightblue9196 2 місяці тому +2

    I just want to thank you for providing a safe space for these people and us, the viewers, to articulate and share these feelings

  • @gianinafernandez1316
    @gianinafernandez1316 4 місяці тому +8

    So beautiful 🥹✨ moved for the first time to Spain at 18 for 6 years and this month again to Amsterdam after spending 2 years at home in Panama, its incredible how im going through all of this again when i thought i was already comfortable with these feelings. Also in tears rn haha thank you sm for sharing❤️

  • @Dap740
    @Dap740 3 місяці тому +9

    I moved from Germany to Québec, Canada at 19 years old, my parents tried to hold me back in shady ways even, but my mind was set on being with the love of my life.
    Now, 4 years later, I will go back to visit my hometown & parets for the first time soon. The relationships were repaired, forgiven, and rebuilt. I am very excited to see everyone and them getting to meet my now husband ❤
    I have felt huge guilt at the beginning for my actions, but haven't felt that in years. It's the life god chose for me and everyone has accepted it, including myself. I never regret it, it was the best choice of my life.
    However, the negative emotions I still have come from missing my old friends...I still can't communicate in French properly. It's been terribly hard making new friends because of the language barrier as well as Covid as well as still not being allowed to work because the immigration process is ongoing.
    Not being allowed to drive yet either, the lack of independence that I've given up, not having the opportunity to meet a lot of new people...
    However I've gained a massive new family that loves me so much and looking into the future, building towards creating our own family, with the right person, is all so worth it.
    Home is where my husband is ❤

  • @starwilson9839
    @starwilson9839 2 місяці тому +1

    literally in the process of packing my bags and choking back tears.

  • @audreykaker7736
    @audreykaker7736 4 місяці тому +8

    I’m moving to Türkiye to stay for a few months. I have a feeling that I’m going to like it so much that I’ll want to stay. I’m from the Midwest. Hearing about people who have gone through this already makes me both excited and sad

  • @Hitithardify
    @Hitithardify 4 місяці тому +12

    Went to go stay in Ukraine for volunteering efforts all summer. I felt pretty bad putting my family in a constant state of worry, but it was worth it. I’m back in the US now, so as soon as you get back home, all that worry and stress disappeared.

  • @JarradTye
    @JarradTye 3 місяці тому +4

    This deserves to go viral!! Thank you for this video. I moved away 6 months ago and it was great to have the people you interview label the emotions I have been feeling and provide advice for the future.

  • @RahimaAkperf
    @RahimaAkperf 2 місяці тому +1

    As a 18 year old who wants to move out this video was so deep,i kinda feel like I’m preparing myself for future feelings while watching these kind of videos 😅

  • @mariannemontiel6621
    @mariannemontiel6621 7 днів тому

    Ive been living abroad for 10 years and I am still going through all of that

  • @KarlLew
    @KarlLew Місяць тому +1

    Having changed countries every 2 years as a kid, there simply was no “home” for me to leave or return to. For those who do leave a foreign home, cherish and celebrate the joy of expat connection. It is you who bring the world together in your hearts. 🙏

  • @Christopher.white_
    @Christopher.white_ 2 місяці тому +1

    I left my homeland 12000 miles and 30 years away. the hardest thing almost is when those you left behind are used to you not being there.

  • @tamarna
    @tamarna 3 місяці тому +2

    I feel like crying... Thank you so much for this video. Moving abroad was never a dream of mine, but harsh realities in my country are making it feel closer than ever. As we're talking about a real possibility of moving, it's so important to hear these genuine voices. Thank you

    • @bibijaneangelica
      @bibijaneangelica  3 місяці тому

      Ahh thank you for sharing this!! Sending you lots of love❤️

  • @lucyridgway9021
    @lucyridgway9021 2 місяці тому

    This video is so beautiful and had me crying my eyes out 🥲 I moved to Australia when I was 19 after dropping out of uni at home, i was there for 2 years and thought I’d be there forever but eventually had to come home to sort out my mental health. I can’t believe I’m 24 & now been home longer than I ever lived there.
    As someone else said, it’s so incredible to hear all these private struggles come out of someone else’s mouth. This video perfectly encapsulates everything about living abroad-, the excitement, guilt, the way home didn’t feel like home anymore, worrying about family being at the forefront of your mind. It is crazy and so comforting to me to hear someone else say they had felt like they had been missing something they hadn’t experienced yet, and then also struggling to feel 100% happy away from home. What a rollercoaster.

  • @altia103
    @altia103 4 місяці тому +4

    Getting this video recommended to me a couple of days before I move to London brings back the amount of thoughts I had about moving away from everyone I know and love. I know it’s going to be hard, but I have hope that time will make everything better.

    • @bibijaneangelica
      @bibijaneangelica  4 місяці тому +1

      YES! Rooting for you, you got this! Goodluck w the move⭐️

    • @altia103
      @altia103 4 місяці тому

      @@bibijaneangelica thank you!

  • @PedroTeixeira27
    @PedroTeixeira27 3 місяці тому +2

    What a beautiful, relatable, and rich video! Thank you for putting it together and to all the people sharing so kindly

  • @fldba2880
    @fldba2880 4 місяці тому +3

    Thank you so much for making this video. I cried a lot watching this video and it's just good to know that I'm not alone and it's normal to feel what I'm feeling. Probably going to come back to this video time to time whenever I need to hear this. Thank you so much again and I wish all the best to everyone who is a brave risk-taker

  • @hoooooo6160
    @hoooooo6160 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you so much for this. I moved abroad when I was 14 (now I am 25) and this video perfectly captures a lot of the thoughts Ive been having over the years. I really don't find a lot of people talking about this so it was very cathartic to see others sharing the same thoughts as me

  • @sarahshere789
    @sarahshere789 3 місяці тому +4

    Been living abroad for the last year and I’m so glad your video was suggested to me, this was so well done❤

    • @mhmlesbian
      @mhmlesbian 3 місяці тому

      Im moving abroad soon, any tips?

  • @MichaelMunro-hz9qi
    @MichaelMunro-hz9qi 2 місяці тому

    Well documented, edited, & videoed. we're always be scared of the unknown, but can't grow mentally with out moving away from our comfort zone. I moved and eventually i felt like a stranger going home, as i had changed but my friends were still the same. People and life experiences is what make living magical.

  • @cs.anaoliveira
    @cs.anaoliveira 4 місяці тому +2

    This is really beautiful! I feel all of this...Living abroad is never easy, we have ups and downs but, this is our life, and we should live according to our beliefs and even when it's hard, focus on the good things of living abroad and remember the good things "at home" ❤

  • @JMTD1000
    @JMTD1000 3 місяці тому +11

    0:47 The word is "saudade"

  • @EzozaNormatova-h1h
    @EzozaNormatova-h1h 3 місяці тому +6

    As an international student this vedio got into my heart ❤😢 thanks a lot for such an amazing content

  • @hannanordstrom__
    @hannanordstrom__ Місяць тому

    this was such a beautiful video. As someone who dreamed of living abroad constantly growing up, then finally took the plunge almost 2 years ago and moved to sweden it turned out so different than I expected. Being away from my family actually made me a lot closer to them, and gain deeper appreciation for them but also my home in NYC. I still imagine my life abroad even though I'm back in the US again, but it almost feels much harder now. Realizing I'm not just choosing a year or so abroad, but a possible life abroad away from my home, my family. That the reality of that choice is seeing my parents maybe a couple times a year, possibly being away when someone passes. That life back home isn't stopping when your away. Its this constant internal battle of choosing my past life with my future, one I'm still working on.

  • @adelover
    @adelover 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you (and your followers) for sharing the experience. I left home when I was 17 and travelled 5k miles to England and its been 20 years and this video described every feelings that I have been through. Technology has made it a bit easier ( I left home during blackberry era) but the guilt, pain and emptiness has and will never leave my heart, especially now that my parents got more health issues with them being old. Watching this video made me tear up but I'm just glad that so many people resonate the same thoughts and experience when leaving home for another life. I will never be able to go home (I tried, but I was so unhappy + there isn't any job opportunity in my industry) so the guilt can be unbearable sometimes but this video really helps me to ease the pain ❤

  • @nathanianataputeri
    @nathanianataputeri Місяць тому +1

    OMG i cried a lot watching this, please make more of these videos!!

  • @margokim7900
    @margokim7900 Місяць тому

    it looks so cinematic, like a movie. Amazing picture, music at the background and people, telling their stories. Thank you a lot for sharing.

  • @HoosierInUtah
    @HoosierInUtah 2 місяці тому +2

    GREAT topic!!! Too often moving abroad is presented as a wonderful and magical experience with zero downsides. Thanks for providing this perspective that helps balance out the experiences individuals have. Fun presentation, looks like you had a good time making this video too! Brava!

  • @LEX.IBA333
    @LEX.IBA333 3 місяці тому +1

    Grad School or Bust as a title page alone would convince me. I hate being scared of things, because I know its the next step essentially looming over you, waiting for you to take it. Good Luck!

  • @feisdigitaldiary
    @feisdigitaldiary 8 днів тому

    i'm 16, today i started researching about potential future universities. i've always wanted to move out, experience the world, but now it finally started feeling real. as i am taking more steps towards my dreams, fear seems to be following me too. tears were running down my cheeks by minute 20, thank you for your video :')

  • @elayzabeth-4365
    @elayzabeth-4365 2 місяці тому

    I lived in Barcelona for a year (as an exchange student), away from my home and family. It was so hard for me.. I feel like this video speaks to my SOUL!! Thank you so much!

  • @iandesmet1274
    @iandesmet1274 Місяць тому

    Thank you, as someone dealing with a lot of similar feelings, having lived almost 5 years in the US now... I needed this

  • @netoalmeida5051
    @netoalmeida5051 3 місяці тому +1

    What a nice video. Perhaps one of the videos that have resonated with me more in years on UA-cam. I’ve been living abroad for 8 years and listening and watching those who have done the same talking about the same feelings and thoughts that go through, makes me realise I’m not alone on this. Thank you for the beautiful video! 🤍

  • @GeoffreyEngelbrecht
    @GeoffreyEngelbrecht 2 місяці тому +3

    I’ve lived in Switzerland for over 25 years and have now lived in the UK for nearly 3 years. When I first moved to Switzerland my parents were very happy. Now they had an excuse to visit and place to stay in Switzerland. Roughly 2 years later they started sending me job advertisements for jobs in Canada. Over time they reduced this effort but even today they haven’t given up. The trouble is it wouldn’t make any difference to them if I moved back to Canada as they live on the West coast and the companies in my field in Canada are in Ontario and Quebec. So being a few time zones closer wouldn’t make it any easier to communicate or visit. So I don’t feel guilty for leaving as leaving is part of growing up. One disadvantage of living far from your family though is that when you go on vacation you always go back to visit them so it is harder to explore the rest of the world. I had a British friend in Switzerland, who said he was so happy when he first moved there thinking he was in the centre of Europe and would be exploring new countries every vacation. Years later he realised every vacation he had he went back to the UK. One thing which has changed over time is the ability to communicate. When I first moved to Europe the only way was the telephone or post and the telephone was very expensive and post very slow. But today I regularly FaceTime with my parents so in a way I am closer to them today.

  • @valentinatroccoli2860
    @valentinatroccoli2860 4 місяці тому +3

    Beautiful video and great story telling. Definitely related to the feelings of guilt and seeing one’s parents get older, cried a little 🥹🥹 thank you for this video ❤️

  • @jenniferramirez4913
    @jenniferramirez4913 4 місяці тому +2

    I have been travelling and im currently living in London and felt so relieved watching this. I resonated so much with what everyone said and I felt seen. Beautiful video 🫶🏽

  • @yinbambi
    @yinbambi Місяць тому

    I moved out from my home once and I felt so much guilt and I can’t believe this is a universal experience . to this day I still don’t understand it.

  • @NovemberAutum
    @NovemberAutum Місяць тому

    What a well made video! I am glad YT suggested your channel 🎉
    I felt (and sometimes still feel) so guilty for choosing to live abroad in my early-mid 20s even though that was the best decision I made ever. I felt guilty that I made my family miss me, felt guilty that I missed lots of family events (good and bad)
    But again, it was the best thing that ever happened to me and it changed me 💯
    Feels good to see other people felt the same way

  • @sasss7060
    @sasss7060 2 місяці тому

    this was one of the most genuine and realistic and profound video I’ve watched in a long time, thank you all for sharing your experiences. I wish people spoke on a similar depth instead of just gossiping

  • @seli14347
    @seli14347 2 місяці тому

    This is the realest video ever… coming from someone who has been living abroad for 7 years.

  • @ninatinio
    @ninatinio Місяць тому

    Didnt know I needed to watch this until the ending. Knowing I will move away from my home base to another country had me questioning all those things but the ending was so reassuring. Thanks to this beautiful video ❤

  • @josephyakhnin9118
    @josephyakhnin9118 Місяць тому

    Great cinematographyand Storytelling, I can see the work you put in. Lighting and composition is real good.

  • @malikkngn
    @malikkngn 2 місяці тому

    Love the video, felt so represented on the voice of some testimonials. This is the talk I'd love to have in real life with people.

  • @ellenkuemmel
    @ellenkuemmel 4 місяці тому +2

    Love your video! I moved two years ago to Barcelona and sometimes I think I have to go back because of my family but I feel more alive abroad. Really nice to hear different sides of different people moving abroad.

  • @TomMarvan
    @TomMarvan 2 місяці тому

    Wonderful video. Thank you for interviewing and sharing the stories of these adventurous individuals.

  • @nynkehoekstra6578
    @nynkehoekstra6578 4 місяці тому +1

    Loved it, even after living abroad for 11 years, the same emotions are still there. I find it hard, struggle with it often, and at the same time I feel I am not ready to go home (yet). I really needed this, thank you Bibi Jane ❤

  • @SiânDAndreaMetford
    @SiânDAndreaMetford 2 місяці тому

    God this video made me ball like a baby. My parents recently got divorced and my dad will be moving back to the UK and my mum is staying in Italy. I have always wanted to live in Italy but the guilt of leaving my family in England and taking my boyfriend away from his family is terrifying. The heaviness of never being able to please all the most important people in my life weighs on me.

  • @huyenanh9846
    @huyenanh9846 2 місяці тому

    This is what I need the most right now, to become my true self, I have never felt at home here, in Vietnam. So inspiring and meaningful a video, the people, the sound, the color, everything.

  • @_harrop
    @_harrop 2 місяці тому

    As someone who plans to go abroad for grad school this was a really interesting video to watch. It both gets me super nervous and super excited

  • @MotoM0nk
    @MotoM0nk 2 місяці тому +1

    I lived in 7 countries and 10 cities, in addition to those which I've visited for prolonged period of time for work. Never felt guilt. Felt free. Loved being alone.

  • @veronicaalejandra20
    @veronicaalejandra20 3 місяці тому +1

    Such a beautiful video! I was born in Aruba, but I live in the US and would love to leave here sooner rather than later. It was comforting to hear everyone’s stories ❤

  • @I11iiiiiiiii
    @I11iiiiiiiii 3 місяці тому +1

    Every bit so honest and true and exactly what I needed at this moment. Thank you for the gift of this video. ❤

  • @haileydesbiens6918
    @haileydesbiens6918 4 місяці тому +1

    Such a wonderful community you have brought together with this video. So touching and overwhelming to feel people going through the same things as you.

  • @anirlentoby51
    @anirlentoby51 3 місяці тому +2

    growing up i never felt like home back at my country but now it's the only place i can feel home at

  • @OliviaWriting
    @OliviaWriting Місяць тому

    moved from the US to France two months ago and I completely understand. I feel more guilt because my home country doesn't lack for opportunities--the opposite! So my moving so far away feels like even more of a deliberate choice. Thinking about my mom aging while I'm so far away makes me feel very sad and worried. Grateful to have someone else in my life in France who moved here from far away and understands

  • @cinferreira
    @cinferreira Місяць тому

    Thank you for this video. It is somewhat comforting to know so many other people also experience the pletora of feeling that come from leaving your family behind and try to reconcile with it. It makes me feel less alone I guess. I don’t know if the guilt will ever dissipate, but we all have to deal with it. We become part of two worlds when we move to a different country. There are times when where we are will feel like home and sometimes it won’t.

  • @rubythepickle8391
    @rubythepickle8391 4 місяці тому +11

    Thank you for this video. I'm an American teenager who has always dreamed of moving to the Netherlands for college, and am really serious about it. I visited a college campus there this summer, which I absolutely loved, but this video is really helping/will help me understand the full consequences and weight that my choice will hold in my life (especially as an only child). This video answers so many of my questions, confirms some of my worries, but makes me feel like it's still the right choice for me. Thank you 💗