This kind of acceptance and support for our kids and ourselves saves lives. Thanks Steve for reminding me to ask things more gently than ‘Why do you….’.
This made me think of how many times we squash someone's dreams because of the failure of our dreams. And in fact, in having our dreams broken/fail, we were able to grow and then realise other accomplishments which we would not have even attempted previously.
Thank you so much for watching. I am glad that today's message was something that you needed to hear. It is something that I need to remind myself from time to time. Let me know if there is a topic you would like me to cover. My videos are more about my experiences and over thought out theories 😁, but I'm working on becoming a little more educational. Thanks again.
@@stevewithadhd I would love to hear more about the ways you make ADHD work for you. I'm also a recently diagnosed adult with inattentive ADHD, and I'm always looking for advice about working around the ups and downs of energy and interest to do the things I have to get done on any given day. I'm still learning how to work with my brain, so I'd love your experience. I did watch your older video about this, but maybe something with your own personal experience? If you feel like sharing?
I have inattentive adhd I'm 25 years old male I'm microdosing magic mushroom every morning and it's making a really really big help on my condition My mood is stable and it is really really easier for me to concentrate and focus on a task Other herbal medicines like ginkgo and ginseng can help too but i didnt try it and don't have a thought on it
Oh please don't do drugs. Please go to a Dr and get a prescription. You might think your drug is helping, but it can be causing so much damage you aren't aware of.
I became a father in December 2019 and I find myself asking "why...?", all the time, of my kids actions. I also do it toward my wife with some of her quirks, to a degree. It's not necessarily, as you mentioned, to discourage but to understand in one of the most antagonistic ways. Your video has really opened my eyes to the negative impact this question can have and how it DID impact my interests as a child. At 39-years-old, I feel I'm too old to "go big or go home" with something I was discouraged from doing, but I won't make the same mistake with my kid going forward. My parents almost never took an interest in the things I liked if they did not have the same interest. They always asked me why I would want to play video games, for instance, rather than sit with the family and watch TV (like that was better use of time). I made a decision, when I became a father, to encourage my son to take on new things and even if I don't enjoy them, myself, he'll never know it with how interested I am in whatever he's interested in. Thank you for being a stellar dad!
Asking "why" is a shorthand to express curiosity and confusion. Because my brain hasn't caught up with the feeling of curiosity or confusion the first question I ask is "why". It's not an insult or something used to discourage someone. It's a jumping off point for discussion. If someone will tell me the general story about why they want to do something, or why they did something, then my brain can actually form in-depth questions. I don't remember having an issue with "why" except when it was used as a weapon. But I can usually discern the difference. As I've gotten older I can see if my parent is using it to gaslight me and THAT pisses me off, not them asking "why". Instead of reacting viscerally to "why", stop first and ask yourself "why is that person really asking me why?" And if you are a person who asks "why", do like therapists are taught. Try to stop at that first feeling of curiosity or confusion and find another way to ask the question without using "why". Furthermore, really listen and look at the person who is asking "why". Are they really appearing to ask "why" as a judgement? Really, you can generally tell. They look and sound like they are disgusted, from mildly to overtly. And the DON"T JUDGE THEM for being confused and a little off-put. They may be genuinely disgusted, but they won't have a chance to understand and accept you unless you stop being offended and tell them your story. And teach your kids how to do all this too. Now, if you all do all this people aren't triggering each other all over the place. Oh, and from my experience men have the worst time hearing "why" than women. They feel attacked;.I wonder why that is. Hmmmmm.... Let's go look it up, and NOT get offended.
Because drawing attention to yourself in my youth would get me beaten, bullied, and mistreated. Your marked as different by your school. So you learn to mask to survive.
What?! That's a very negative view. People can also ask 'why' because they are just curious about someone. It's a way of getting to know what sparks people, what motivates them, what gives them joy and how, their world view etc etc. The question can unlocks so much information. 'Why' in itself is a neutral question. You are just interpreting it as negative. Assuming bad intention. That's just sad. I will never stop asking why.
This kind of acceptance and support for our kids and ourselves saves lives. Thanks Steve for reminding me to ask things more gently than ‘Why do you….’.
I know this is an old video but I had to comment how heartwarming the story about the nails is!
Wish had a father like you
This made me think of how many times we squash someone's dreams because of the failure of our dreams. And in fact, in having our dreams broken/fail, we were able to grow and then realise other accomplishments which we would not have even attempted previously.
Loved this. You’re a great dad.
As always, your videos are perfect! Exactly what I needed to hear today.
Thank you so much for watching. I am glad that today's message was something that you needed to hear. It is something that I need to remind myself from time to time. Let me know if there is a topic you would like me to cover. My videos are more about my experiences and over thought out theories 😁, but I'm working on becoming a little more educational. Thanks again.
@@stevewithadhd I would love to hear more about the ways you make ADHD work for you. I'm also a recently diagnosed adult with inattentive ADHD, and I'm always looking for advice about working around the ups and downs of energy and interest to do the things I have to get done on any given day. I'm still learning how to work with my brain, so I'd love your experience. I did watch your older video about this, but maybe something with your own personal experience? If you feel like sharing?
I have inattentive adhd I'm 25 years old male
I'm microdosing magic mushroom every morning and it's making a really really big help on my condition
My mood is stable and it is really really easier for me to concentrate and focus on a task
Other herbal medicines like ginkgo and ginseng can help too but i didnt try it and don't have a thought on it
Did you ever give Ritalin a try and if so thoughts?
Oh please don't do drugs. Please go to a Dr and get a prescription. You might think your drug is helping, but it can be causing so much damage you aren't aware of.
Great video! I feel better about myself after watching this, thank you.
I love that you made this.
I became a father in December 2019 and I find myself asking "why...?", all the time, of my kids actions. I also do it toward my wife with some of her quirks, to a degree. It's not necessarily, as you mentioned, to discourage but to understand in one of the most antagonistic ways. Your video has really opened my eyes to the negative impact this question can have and how it DID impact my interests as a child. At 39-years-old, I feel I'm too old to "go big or go home" with something I was discouraged from doing, but I won't make the same mistake with my kid going forward.
My parents almost never took an interest in the things I liked if they did not have the same interest. They always asked me why I would want to play video games, for instance, rather than sit with the family and watch TV (like that was better use of time). I made a decision, when I became a father, to encourage my son to take on new things and even if I don't enjoy them, myself, he'll never know it with how interested I am in whatever he's interested in. Thank you for being a stellar dad!
This is such an amazing way to encourage your kids !
Thank you so much for this🤍
Thank you 😢
Love this one!! Great job! ❤
Asking "why" is a shorthand to express curiosity and confusion. Because my brain hasn't caught up with the feeling of curiosity or confusion the first question I ask is "why". It's not an insult or something used to discourage someone. It's a jumping off point for discussion. If someone will tell me the general story about why they want to do something, or why they did something, then my brain can actually form in-depth questions. I don't remember having an issue with "why" except when it was used as a weapon. But I can usually discern the difference. As I've gotten older I can see if my parent is using it to gaslight me and THAT pisses me off, not them asking "why". Instead of reacting viscerally to "why", stop first and ask yourself "why is that person really asking me why?" And if you are a person who asks "why", do like therapists are taught. Try to stop at that first feeling of curiosity or confusion and find another way to ask the question without using "why". Furthermore, really listen and look at the person who is asking "why". Are they really appearing to ask "why" as a judgement? Really, you can generally tell. They look and sound like they are disgusted, from mildly to overtly. And the DON"T JUDGE THEM for being confused and a little off-put. They may be genuinely disgusted, but they won't have a chance to understand and accept you unless you stop being offended and tell them your story. And teach your kids how to do all this too. Now, if you all do all this people aren't triggering each other all over the place. Oh, and from my experience men have the worst time hearing "why" than women. They feel attacked;.I wonder why that is. Hmmmmm.... Let's go look it up, and NOT get offended.
I Love This 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I still ask why out of curiosity
Eeek. I zoned out on question 1. Gotta replay the video! Uhh
I think he did too😂
Dig your "voice" - your view point and presentation.
For me, I think why is curiosity.
Because drawing attention to yourself in my youth would get me beaten, bullied, and mistreated. Your marked as different by your school. So you learn to mask to survive.
Love the ghostface reference!
Your style is great.
We all need support and a lending hand and a push up to get over fences..
🤝
What?! That's a very negative view. People can also ask 'why' because they are just curious about someone. It's a way of getting to know what sparks people, what motivates them, what gives them joy and how, their world view etc etc. The question can unlocks so much information. 'Why' in itself is a neutral question. You are just interpreting it as negative. Assuming bad intention. That's just sad. I will never stop asking why.
Ask WHAT not WHY…. There’s a whole Ted talk on how it is a more beneficial question to us becoming self aware