My (ADHD) husband and Myself (AuDHD) got a Shiba inu 2 years ago. We've been told that it is not a good dog for first owners. When we asked why, we've been told that they are dog-cats, they don't like peolple, they like to have some time alone sometimes... Heck Yeay ! That breed is neurodivergent AF ! We have absolutely no regrets !
I refuse to get a dog until I feel better. I'm currently trying to go on walks with my auntie and her dog every day so I know I'm capable. I also want to make sure I'm financially secure and can work from home. A dog deserves the best possible care, and I'm not in a place to supply that yet, but I'll get there 😊
That’s so responsible and such a good way to see if it’s right for you. Wishing you all the best whatever happens! 🎉 I would suggest looking at older rescue dogs too as they generally want steady sniff walks rather than 2 hours chasing a ball, and they don’t go mad if you have a bad mental health slump and can’t get them out for a day or two ❤❤
@@KalishkaRuby thank you so much for the encouragement and support. Great advice too, my partner and I are definitely looking at rescuing, but I was a little afraid of vet bills with pre-existing conditions in an older dog, but I've since discovered pet insurance specifically for dogs with pre-existing conditions that lasts a year. I just want to be fully informed and sure I can take on the financial burden before committing. It'll probably be a couple of years or so, but I'm hoping I'll get there 😊
I like dogs, but I have always considered myself a cat person. I don't want a dog of my own to be responsible for, but I have this wonderful arrangement with a friend who has a dog. The walks with the dog are really good for both my physical and mental health. The dog is of course really happy to get extra walks. And my friend doesn't have to rush home from work to walk the dog. It's what we call win-win-win.
Expect the unexpected when you adopt a dog. I took one look at my girl on her adoption site and knew she was meant to be my dog. That being said, everyone thought she would grow to be around the height of my knee, and she ended up almost to my hips
oh wow 😅 we knew our puppy would grow into a big girl based on her breed (bernese) but my sister in law got what looked like a rough coated dachshund puppy from an oversees rescue organisation - turns out there was some other kind of long legged hunting dog mixed in 😂 she‘s a sweet girl but very energetic and prey driven 😅
Exactly. Helps my depression so much. I don’t want to get out of bed but I do want to see how happy my kitty gets when I feed him 😭 and hearing him purr while I prep his food.
Yep. Things have to be *really* bad for me to even feel frustrated about tending to their needs, and even on my worst day it's workable (dog, 2 cats, 9 chickens). Then, tending to those needs help me to feel better about myself. And on not-rotten days, I... seem to be taking lessons? about how and why to take care of *myself?* from tending to their needs. Animals friends can be so impactful, if you can find the right kind of companion to fit your worst days (and income - I can't believe how expensive it is to just *have* a dog/cat... and I don't go out and buy crap for them, I'm just talking basic wellness vet bills/spay or neuter/inexpensive end of the food equation)
My wife has ADHD and I'm autistic, and having dogs is AMAZING! When we weren't diagnosed we were already benefiting from dogs for a looong time. My dog always knows when I'm freaking out and does everything she can to protect me, sitting in front of me like a guardian or jumping on me to give me cuddles.. She even barks my wife away to tell her to give me space, which is actually really helpful in a meltdown.
The timing of you posting this is personally funny to me because I recently asked myself "do I want to get a dog or go to grad school?" Grad school has won out for now, but I really appreciate how you listed other ways to get in that good doggo time without needing to own a dog yourself.
Help your dog owning friends by dog sitting! It helps so much to have reliable people in your live where you can drop of your dog. It is a win-win situation. But ask them for rules beforehand and follow them. Consistency is very important in dog training!
Don't be afraid to set up some rules of your own too. If you're dogsitting in your own house, you can have some rules which are stricter than the rules the dog has at home. I dogsit for my sister-in-law's dog. When he's at my house, I wipe his paws clean every time after a walk before he's allowed to go further into the house. I don't want muddy paw prints in my house. My sister-in-law doesn't do that except in exceptional cases. I've also taught the dog that it is not allowed to walk out the front door unless I say "Okay". Another rule my sister-in-law doesn't have in her home.
I’m a first time dog owner and the experience of raising a dog from puppy has changed my life. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I sometimes wanted to give up. Yes, I committed everything to him and I have support from my partner, too. Yes, my apartment is dirtier and takes more to clean. Yes, it is expensive to treat my dog’s problems and prevent unhealthy outcomes. But also yes, he is the world to me and every day is a new day for me to try my best for him, which is an indicator for optimism I never knew I needed. And yes, he gives the best cuddles that I could ever ask for from an 83 pound fuzzball. Edit: I know adoption is better and I hope to adopt one day. But my dog came from an accidental litter in my neighborhood and taking him in prevented him from going to a shelter.
"every day is a new day for me to try my best for him" omg, I'm practically ugly crying lol. I give up on myself a thousand times a day, I never give up on my dog. (... and recognizing that, is helping me learn how to look for and develop the resilience to stop giving up on myself quite as much... )
I had two cats that provided me comfort. The last one passed away in September. I am looking for a new cat and I been stressed since. My work hours don't work for me to have a dog.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@@LucyFernandez628 I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
I also would not be here if not for my fur baby that I got to enjoy for 17years. She was born when I was in high school, the worst period of my life, filled with bullying, family abuse/neglect and religious trauma. Through the severe depression and anxiety, she gave me a reason to keep living. I recently got a new fur baby and she too has helped me with depression. Dogs are amazing beings!🐕💜
I moved to a rural property and knew exactly what I wanted/needed in a dog - in my case, I was getting chickens and I needed to feel some kind of security that there wasn't going to be a situation where I brought a dog home who was unlikely to have the genetics to make it easy to train to be around livestock. And I wanted a friend who would love -30C winter as much as I do. Because of the whole livestock concern thing, I decided to go ahead and find a puppy from working line parents where at least one parent was a herding breed (not show line or "has a female they like to breed to sell puppies"), and knew I was 100% never-going-back committing to an active life because dogs bred for jobs need a job and/or a very active physical life + mental partnership with their human. I was committed to the training it would take, and excited for it. I found a litter of Australian Shepherd x Maremma puppies after looking at other options for a year. I got Ceilidh (Kaylee) April 2022, and she literally upended my life lol. She is SO trainable,* and SO eager to "work" with me... but she's been a handful since about 4 months of age. *except: she has a 0-100 trigger for unmanageable excitement that I'm only just now getting a bit of a handle on, and she's 55lbs so that's a LOT of dog to be throwing herself through the air at the end of her leash wanting to go meet the 6yr old neighbour kid on their bike 200m down the road. I have literally never missed a single day of working on training stuff, nor a single day of getting outside with her multiple times (because her recall isn't good enough to even CONSIDER letting her off leash given the circumstances described in the paragraph above this, but I don't have a fenced area and I refuse to put her out on her own on a line; my plan was - and still is - to commit to being on the other end of the leash every single time she so much as needs to go out to pee, knowing that it would be good for *me,* too .... but I'll be honest, 2 years of that is longer than I thought I'd be in this position, given my every day commitment to training). And I'm not just talking about rehearsing "Sit" and "Down" and stuff - tons of behaviour training every single day, plus teaching her to play Fetch and Frisbee to tire her out, training with the cats and the chickens, plus she can't tolerate being brushed or having her nails trimmed (even at 2+ years of working on it) so we work on THAT, too - like, tons of training that doesn't even involve a brush or the nail clippers to gradually work her into being OK with those sensory things. Yep. An autistic woman has found herself with a dog with anxiety (probably through me) and sensory issues. ... at least I understand her, sigh. And she's AMAZING. I've been working with positive reinforcement training since I got her at 2 months old and it is the most AMAZING THERAPY TOOL for *me* too. It's teaching me SO MUCH about myself. And her getting me outside for walks every day plus fetch or frisbee every day plus all her bathroom breaks is amazing for me. We say hello to the moon and star-gaze every night it's not cloudy! (she literally looks upwards with me; I don't think she knows what we're doing, but she definitely sometimes gets curious about what I'm looking at) It makes me want to have a breakdown when I think of all the spoons I've poured into training her every day for over 2 years and we *still* have the unmanageable excitement/over-stimulation problems - spoons I therefore didn't have, for other things you need to do in life that I already baseline struggle with, like hygiene, cleaning, making it to appointments, answering the phone, etc (I'm already on Disability so at least there's no work or school) - but she's an amazing doggo and I'm fiercely proud of the progress she's made. I've finally managed to afford an online training class with a positive reinforcement trainer whose methods I've followed all the way along (it didn't occur to me that if I was already following ALL the HUNDREDS of hours of UA-cam information she has, with a puppy I've had since 2 months old, that I could *possibly* need help with training... so it took me a while before I could manage to pay for training after it took me a while to admit to myself that I needed help). Things are really looking up... in the context of "there's a TON of work to do - every single day - before these problems have been overcome, but I can see the path forward clearly now." Some day, my neighbours will get to see what an incredible dog she is, because she'll finally be able to meet people. Right now all they see is me working with her to get her to stop barking and straining at the leash to get to them, and if they dare approach it takes 5min of work to get her to let the approach without throwing herself on them. Doesn't leave them with the impression that she's an amazing doggo. But she's SO SMART and has learned such amazing things I had no idea I'd ever be able to train a dog to do, in the service of trying to develop a "work" partnership with her. We'll get there. ♥ Anyway. In case that novel helps ANYONE make any of the decisions that need to be made when deciding to get a dog... there it is.
Agree with this 100%. The doggie walks are the only way I get out of the house and exercise. Having her around also makes me feel safer at home when I’m alone. I read about a dozen books before getting a dog and I fully recommend going into it with at least that amount of knowledge on what to expect.
my doggos were literally the only one reason i did not gave up on life last year. they are family and help me in so many ways. hugs to all of your furry friends 🩷
I bought a bus to live in so I could own a dog. Gave up on relying on rentals. Now I don't pay rent at least! But I would prefer to have housemates sometimes
I had a dog for 13 years, from 6 weeks old. She was my doghter. The last 2 years she lived with my mom. She was well loved. And well trained. I hardly ever used a leash with her. She responded to vocal commands. I miss her.
Watching this with my dog ❤ He helps me soo much. He also has broadened my perspective on how I treat myself. I know he learns better with positive feedback so why do I expect myself to learn and change behaviours when I am always being hard and mean on myself. He needs a lot of rest after activities with a lot of outside stimulation, and interactions with other dogs or people. I don’t blame him so why would I blame me for the same. Through the compassion I have for him I can learn to have more compassion with myself.
I love my dog but sometime I notice that my dog can add to my overstimulation. Sometimes her smell or dog hair texture or slobber can be a sensory nightmare
This is really great. Pets can be such a boon to our mental health and quality of life, but it is so important to know how to factor theirs as well. I like animals, but if I was living alone, I would 100% not be able to handle a dog. It'd have to be a cat. I just don't have the ability to match a dog's energy to take care of them the way they deserve, and even though I love them I get really overstimulated from them barking and scratching and licking my face. Cats are a lot smaller, and they definitely can still be loud and scratch and in your space, but they tend to be lower energy in general and their size is easier to manage for me. I can usually meet their needs or let them know gently that I'm busy right then, and I feel like I can give them a much better quality of life. Loving your pets isn't just an emotion, it's making sure that you can realistically give them what they need to live a full and happy life. I'm really glad there's other people who can provide for our dogs, but I don't think it would be responsible for me to own them on my own. I always feel really bad when my family's dogs are like frantic for attention from me but are way too overstimulating for me to give it. Also we live someplace with a lot of road noise, and our dogs bark at EVERYTHING. It's enough to trigger meltdowns for me some days, or I'm genuinely worried they're going to damage my already damaged hearing when they bark right next to my head. They're so loving and when I have the energy I love to play with them and give them hugs and scratches and tell them how great they are, but they're a lot to handle. That said, we've definitely had much calmer dogs in the past. Breed is SUPER important. Our Pyrenees/lab/pit bull is really big and usually quiet but barks really loud, but is so gentle and kind and well behaved. He is convinced he's still puppy sized and tiny, and so careful not to hurt anyone. Our lyca/collie mix though is... She makes the Golden Gates bridge look low strung. She needs constant exercise and interaction, is very prone to jealousy when we give our other dog attention, very food defensive, extremely vocal, and she has allergies which make her have even more frantic energy and will scratch us to try to get us to scratch her. Even with all that she is so playful and sweet and just has a smile that makes you melt, and I love her dearly, but taking care of her is a lot of work. With the breed profile of our boy, his working dog ancestors were livestock guardians, and you can tell both in how gentle he is, and how territorial he is to Anything Outside, and he is pretty easy to train. For our girl, she's a hunting and herding dog mix, and you can tell. She's very independent and doesn't really want to listen, but also only wants to be told she's doing a good job, and she wants a job (running around the backyard sniffing stuff for hours). When you're looking for a dog breed, pay attention to the general temperament. Of course individuals will have their own personalities, but you'll have a better idea of their potential needs (and health profile!) and what they might be like. Like we had to be very careful with our boy, because we wanted to get him fixed only once his hips finished growing so he didn't have joint problems down the line. He's extremely healthy, but we had to make sure he didn't come in contact with any unfixed females before we could get him surgery, for like a year. And we know that because (part) of his breed gets so large, we need to keep an eye on his heart as he gets older. We like to get mixes rather than pure breeds because they tend to have less health problems, and we like to rescue when we can. Our boy was a rescue we got as a puppy, and it sounds like the people who had him initially were trying to breed fighting dogs 😬. He was immediately loving and gentle and a good listener, but it took a while before he realized he could trust us to feed him regularly and that we wouldn't hurt him. Our girl we got from someone who unexpectedly had a large litter of puppies and needed to find homes for them, and she actually started way more chill as a puppy and got way less chill as she grew up.
I have border collies. They’re so high energy that getting out to exercise is way easier than dealing with the consequences if I don’t. These days, I have to get up early to get a long walk in before it gets too hot. Overslept yesterday and then I had to spend the entire day coming up with enrichment for them just to channel their energy😂 Luckily they’re understanding if I’m not feeling well. They also love routine and act as the bedtime police. They’ll herd me to the bathroom and then the bedroom if I’m up to late. But they always seem to know if I’m sick and will just be quiet and snuggly. Best thing ever invented, dogs. That said, pre-diagnosis and medication it was SO HARD to get outside, even with the high energy doggos. I had to really fight with myself to get it all done. The exercise, for one, but also the grooming and whatnot. I totally see how someone might just not be able to take care of a dog.
I'm autistic and ADHD. Both of my rescue dogs were pretty bad for my mental state 😭 they had behavioral issues and my first dog sent someone to the ER from biting them. I still have PTSD from it. My current dog isn't aggressive but is insanely reactive and LOUD and gives me sensory overload every day. I love(d) my dog(s) but I honestly think they stress me out more than help me Best pet I've ever had is a ball python. He is such a calm, chill snake. His weight and texture are extremely satisfying to hold and pet. He makes no noise and has no smell or mess. He takes some work and it's just enough and not overwhelming (example, only needs to be fed every 2 weeks, needs exercise but doesn't need long "walks", etc) plus the fact he doesn't emote like a average mammal and is misunderstood feels so relatable to myself 🥲
Adopt OR shop responsibly. There are non ethical shelters the same as there are non ethical breeders. Rescue pups are great for some people! But some can benefit from having a breed that can have reliable personalities and behaviors. This can be even more true for those neurodivergent people who need consistency. I have both a rescue pup and pup from a breeder and both come with their own challenges.
Thank you for the well thought out realities of owning a dog. As someone in rescue I wish more people thought this was- ownership and care is for their whole lives.
Without my dog I might not even be anymore. I got him JUST before corona (time of extreme isolation) which helped me get to know myself (unmasking) and accept the fact that I am neurodivergent (realised that I'm autistic 6 years ago, started seeking help 3.5 years ago, finally got my diagnosis one month ago!!) I would not have made the battle without his company
Thank you so much for this video! A lot of your content on your channel makes sense. I have ADHD. You’ve helped me feel a little more sane and I’m still learning to manage my symptoms on low days. This video has been a highly of my day! What you said about dogs being a lifetime responsibility and feeling guilty during low, low days when you’re not feeling up to much and yet you have to take care of Obi still, and then feel guilty because he deserves “better “… I have felt that every day with my pup. I moved out for the first time and ended up having to buy my dog literally two weeks after moving in; I would have waited, but it just had to happen. (Long story) I was not confident in myself nor was I thinking I could look after a dog while figuring out living with rent and school, work, and internship. Now, it’s been over a year, and getting my dog has been one of the best decisions ever made. He’s my angel, my lovie, my best friend. I wonder how I got so lucky. Oh, and he gets along great with my cat lol. Thank you for your love and honesty in this video. Obi could not have asked for a better dog mom than you😊
Everything you described matches my experiences as a dog owner with ADHD (I hadn't thought to anchor my habit stacking to dog walks and her feeding routine, though! That's a great insight👍🏼) I agree that fostering & dogsitting can be a good a way for ppl to benefit from quality time with a dog while trying to see if they can handle the commitment and responsibilities. Also, Obie is completely adorable, I love him 😍
I agree wholeheartedly! we got a bernese puppy 2 yrs ago to the day and she‘s amazing! also, for the first 1.5 yrs or so we lived in an appartment building with her - having your own yard is nice but not a must have for keeping a dog. the one thing I would add: please consider the size/weight of your future dog, especially as a first time owner. training takes time and if they are misbehaving you need to be able to control them physically. you might make things easier on yourself if you opt for a smaller dog. not complaining about my 40kg floofball, just saying I don‘t need to lift weights… 😉
My dog showed up when my older dog passed away. I wasn't planning on keeping him, but I'm glad I did. He's an American bulldog or a mix of that and I swear he's neurodivergent, too, because he sorts his food and eats everything separately, he will eat anything as long as it's covered in ranch or cheese (I have kids who don't listen when I say don't feed the dog), and he's scared of the dark. He weighs 90 pounds! He's getting older so we don't play as much, but he still enjoys going for walks and then left alone for long naps.
Dogs are the best!! I’ve had mine for 12 years and he’s my best friend 🥺🥰 We are so much alike lol I think he’s neurodivergent too because we both get completely disregulated if we don’t take our daily walks. Dogs are the perfect presence to have for me - not having to talk to anyone but also not being alone. He and I share the same love of the mountains
5 years ago I moved with my partner to another state. But I was getting lonely as we weren't near any of my family only near his and I cannot work and I cannot drive due to multiple disabilities. We got a dog to help combat this loneliness and she started helping with my other disabilities. She started to help mitigate my seizures she started to alert to my seizures before they would happen. Getting her was the second best decision I had ever made the first best was training her as a service animal. She's only been in training as a service animal for about 6 months now and she is doing fantastic she's on track for graduation in a few months and she is everything I could ever ask for. I live in a very small town now and I've lived in this town for over 5 years, many of the people in the town keep thinking I have moved here 6 months ago because I live so close to the downtown area they see me everyday and know that I live close, but they didn't see me before so it had to be soon. It wasn't it just wasn't safe for me to walk the two blocks to the coffee shop before I had her and not had her as my pet but had her as a service animal. She is the best hairstyle in training I could ask for and whenever we're struggling with training I usually find out it's on me not her.
I was able to adopt my sweet girl at 8 years old because she needed to be rehomed. She has changed my life immensely and I am glad I could give her the best life in her later years as senior dogs aren't as desirable to a lot of people.
The only downside to getting a dog is you love them so much you can’t imagine ever not having a dog so you get another dog and now you have double the work and double expenses 😂but also double the love. I love my dogs so much hahaha
First of all I would love a video of how to deal with the guilt and shame of not being able to give them long walks or quality time wiht us when we're having bad days and also how to emotionally deal with dog reactivity and other behaviors that can be overwhelming for us 💜 Well and I wanted to share a little story I found my dog in a dumpster during quarantine and initially I decided to be her foster mom but after a month or so I realized we really clicked, it was the perfect fit. So I talked with my parents to keep her (since I didn't have any kind of income at that time) but it would be my responsibility and if I moved out she would come with me. They agreed. She gave me purpose, a routine and a great body doubling companion but I kept feeling bad for having bad days. Recently I saved up some money so I could pay dog training and after some sessions and being totally honest with my difficulties they reassured me that I was doing things right and they wished every client was as invested in their dog as me. This came as a shock since when I was having bad days I couldn't give her all the time she needed. They proceeded to teach me some accommodations for those days like having a place to pee if I couldn't take her out at that time due to a meltdown and having flyers nearby to give her so she can rip appart to regulate herself when I'm not emotionally available. This is absolutely not a substitute but a tool to help me when Im having bad days and it has immensely improved our relationship.
I always wanted a dog, but my life gave me a cat first, so the cat got to go on walks in a harness and learn multiple tricks 😄 When I was finally ready for a dog I chose to buy a puppy, but to my defense we don't have many dogs in shelters or any on the streets in my country, and I needed a bit more predictability than rescuing from abroad would have given me. The dog in question is now 13 and still doing well, and there's not been a day of regret in our journey. She introduced me to my current partner years ago just out on a walk, and I've also made a career for myself as an animal trainer mainly because of everything she (and the cat) have taught me. I see enough dog problems to fully appreciate the warnings you gave, but dogs can honestly do wonders too and save us in so many ways!
I actually have been planning to get a dog beginning of next year. Until then I’m saving up a dog fund and looking in to all of the training things I will have to do, (I want a hunting dog so I will be training accordingly) and any specialty grooming for the breed I want etc
I would argue cats can be a good option if owning a dog is too hard for someone with autism and adhd. I have two cats and I do incredibly well with them considering what my lifestyle is and what I feel I’m capable of doing. I genuinely love dogs but at least for now, having my cats help me immensely. I have autism and adhd and yea, they’re my best friends :)
I will also say that with the housing thing, if your dog becomes your emotional support animal (my therapist wrote a letter that I gave to my landlord basically) then you have a lot more options for suitable living spaces, especially in apartment complexes. And since your video seems to focus on the benefits of a dog for neurotypical people it seems that the dog probably would be acting in that way and you could get a letter like that from a therapist or psychiatrist.
Not me, who uprooted my life and moved to Europe with my dog 🙈 😂😂 It can be done but he WAS the hardest part of the move in so many ways (including the fact I had to find new people to take care of him on long days or when I was away for work or on vacation). So don’t not make a move just because you have a dog. And don’t get rid of your dog just because you have to make a move. You can figure it out, saying it’s not possible or it’s hard isn’t an excuse. If I did it to a country I’d never been to before, that operated in a language I didn’t speak in the midst of a pandemic you can do it too 😂. But if you can manage a dog he has been the best thing I ever could have done for my mental health. He gets me out of bed every morning and outside every day and is the best for cuddles when I need them (And he actually made the move easier in a lot of ways because I wasn’t ever alone with him there).
Having to leave the house several times per day isn’t for everyone but pets in general are very beneficial and there are other kinds of pets too they’re all great 😊
I'm autistic and ADHD. I'm extremely allergic to dog dander, dog hair, dog smell and dog saliva. Also...their barking hurts my ears. I hate it when they jump up on me when standing or sitting. Their scratching and licking themselves annoys me and grosses me out. It bugs me when they stare and drool when I'm eating. I get nauseous when they hump other dogs, legs, pillows,or drag their butt on the carpet. I cannot even imagine picking up poop in a bag. So...I'm different.
So excited for my doggo one day (hopefully this year, we'll see😭)! I need a service dog so have to purchase from a breeder and never had a dog so not going the puppy route this time but I so wish I could give a home to a shelter dog! I genuinely can't take the chance on behavioral things that may be sensory struggles and I REFUSE to rehome. My sincerest best wishes to all those who do adopt, I hope you can continue your good work with as much ease & support as possible❤
I would also ask yourself , what other animals can ground me that i can take care of? being neurodivergent i love reptiles and fish and have had them as pets, they bring structure and routine and grounding to my day. Maybe not in the same way a mammal would, but regardless still meaningful
Falkor, our Tibetan Spaniel, goes to bed at 6pm, and comes out at 7pm to protest that I'm not in bed. I have physical disabilities on top of the brain stuff, I often feel like a bad dog mama. However I know living with dogs is the best thing for me, the six months between my first dog dying and getting my second dog was heartbreakingingly lonely.
I do like dogs but don't want to own one. Instead I have two cats, one which has a dog like personality. Both know a few tricks and they help me take care of myself because they are also big on their routines. But I love visiting people with dogs, just they can be very overstimulating for me.
Personally I feel that having a cat already makes a big difference in having a routine, having to get out of bed to feed him and play with him, having to keep the space clean for him... but sometimes it's already really hard to keep a cat, let alone a dog. I think I don't have what it takes to take care of a dog well, with having to go on walks so often too, and other areas where a dog demands more work than a cat (like grooming), so I would only have a dog if I was living with a partner that had a dog. Having a pet to take care of is a lot of responsibility but also brings a lot of joy either way, so I'm glad the cat distribution system worked in my favor
I WANT A DOG SO BADLY 😭😭😭 I've basically lived with one in the house all my life, and our most recent dog passed a few months ago. I miss him, I grieve for him, and the absence of a dog in my life haunts me every single day. Unfortunately, my dad isn't ready/is unable to adopt, and I'm a poor college student that moves around a lot, so it's not realistic or fair for me to get a dog atm. Even if my dad did get a dog, I don't live with him for most of the year, so I'd rarely get to see them. It sucks a lot. I know I can live without one because I'm doing it right now, but I feel so much sadder. I miss having a dog.
I love dogs but I don't think I could own one because of overstimulation. I have cats and they provide a lot of the same benefits while being more manageable for me. That said, i wish i had a friend with a dog that I could visit!
Through being a Rover sitter, I’ve learned that-while dogs are fun to take care of for other people-the lifestyle is not for me permanently. Which is why I have 4 cats of my own. Lol.
I got distracted by the start of this video because it fascinates me that people don’t need to walk their dogs 4 times a day every day. For me it is not a choice, it is how it is done here, which is excellent by the way. Dogs are good for your health.
I have a cat who likes to act like a dog. Does he count? He likes to go on walks with me (without leash), always follows me around, sleeps next to me while i work and he knows his name and some tricks like "sit" and "paw".
I like dogs but I LOVE cats so much that I’m a frequent house / cat sitter (last cat passed away last year) I’d def consider dog sitting but I need to research breeds that don’t bark or drool 😅
Ehhh its not that much work bringing a puppy dog to Europe with you. Just got to make sure their paperwork is in order. Now 2 cats 1 dog thats more difficult.
Owning a dog isn't inherently expensive.... It can be expensive. Usually the shelter will tell you about things like allergies and medication. It's okay to choose a dog that won't have as many regular medical costs if you literally don't have the money compared to other people. Going to the vet is expensive and you have to go a little bit more often than you assume even when you dont have any special needs. But there's a lot you can do to reduce it. Mine went to the vet because she tended to eat everything off the pavement but training helped with that. There's so much online. There's so much you can do about behavioural issues, even fear aggression. You just need to deep dive enough to get an understanding. The food is not expensive. I spend like $50-$70 a month. You don't need to buy treats and toys because a lot of common things fulfil these needs. Eg tiny cubes of cheese now and then for high value treats, extra kibble for training, cardboard and natural rope for toys, tennis balls literally just get left in the park and I find them daily. Most charity shops have a pet section. Owning a dog can be expensive because there's plenty of branded products, but it doesn't have to be expensive. What is unavoidably expensive is the vet and any special travel crating you need. Everything else is a choice if you go for the expensive option or not
I would like a furry little buddy, but the main thing that puts me off is the smell. I like dogs, but the way they smell makes me feel nauseous and I don’t think I could deal with that every day. Being sensitive to sensory input is a common trait in both adhd and autism, as is struggling to maintain a clean space, but no-one ever seems to talk about the stank of pets.
That's something that worried me a lot (for sensory reason) before getting my dog but I actually have no problem with it. It comes to what's necessary. I will however struggle if I have to pick someone else's dog poop. Same with kisses I can't deal with it from another dog but from mine it's not a problem. It's not necessarily the same for you but if you have the opportunity to care for another animal (I had bunnies for years before getting my puppy) try and see if you can deal with what's "gross". If it's also a sensory issue maybe using gloves in addition to bags can help with added protection. There are also some poo picking tools but honestly I don't think they can work on grass and will probably leave more of a mess than anything...
I wish I could get a dog, but it would make my slim chances of finding an appartment to rent even slimmer and more than all I want to leave my parents because they are suffocating me... I could really use a dog 😢
I am always shocked to hear about the issues to get an apparetement that allows pets. I live in France, and as long as you don't have a Lion or a wolf, you can have pets, it is in the law. The tricky thing tho is that there is so many places you can't take them... any shop that sells human food for example, some parcs, hotels, etc... But the petsitters are less expensive, we sent on a tri for 2 and a hlf week last summer and it cost us 300€. With videos and messages everyday to see how she was
I also live in France with my pets (a dog, a cat and 2 bunnies) and even if in theory they are not allowed to say no to pets it can still get really uncomfortable. I have been renting for a while before I got my house. I had only a bunny (free range) at the time and there had been occasional destruction, it was stressful to keep the pet out of the way and the apartment perfectly clean when the homeowner or contractors had to come. I can't see myself renting with my 4 animals now, especially since my dog has had some destructive behaviour in the past due to separation anxiety and is really protective of "our home".
I am ADHD and I am very pro cat! Mine is crazy affectionate, just wants cuddles and is such a boo boo, but I can also go out for an evening, work or have a chaotic schedule without him freaking out. A side note, I’ve noticed A LOT of adhd women gravitating to cats, both un and already diagnosed! Cats are great, non-cat people are really over dramatic and mean about them!
I think it's really great to find what works for us. Before I could get a dog I have had bunnies for a long time and they were what I needed. They are "low maintenance" (compared to a dog) but we still had a lot of interactions, they are really curious animals in the right environment. I got a puppy when I got a stable job and a house and the benefits have been immense but it has also added a lot of pressure and stress. It had been overwhelming at times. For me the benefits have been greater and I'm ok with the constraints that come with a dog (who had separation anxiety in addition) but I really think it's not for everyone. I found a lost kitten in my backyard and now have a cat in addition to my two bunnies and my dog. I love him but I can truly say I'm more of a dog person than a cat person at this point. I had a harder time with the biting, clawing and unpredictable zoomies of a kitten than I remember having trouble understanding my dog as a puppy. I'm also passionate about animal behaviour and the training part was what attracted me to my dog I'm happy to spend hours of my week training tricks, carving out unwanted behaviour and solving problems with a smart dog (sometimes too smart for his own good). I can see in some other dog owners (especially neurotypical) how this is a chore to them. So to each their own, it's nice to have many different options when it comes to pets. PS: My cat is also smart as hell and I have been teaching him to sit for example. However it has not been breed for that and doesn't have the same "drive" to learn. Just to say I'm not saying dogs are better! It's a better fit for me
Don't get a dog for your mental health. Crazy, I know, but if you need to heal, and you would not consider adopting a 3 year old child to take care, then you will suffer trying to take care of a dog. A dog is expensive to feed and needs vet care which has no Medicaid so you pay full price, needs 24 hour a day, 7 days a week care, needs a walk 3 times a day, a secure yard and 15-18 years of your life. If you can't imagine adopting a child for these reasons, do not get a dog. I suffered a mental health crisis adter I got two dogs then my housemate also had a mental breakdown. We live in poverty even though we both work, and the bills for our dogs mount up. It cost $355 yesterday just to treat some hot itchy spots on one dog. My food bill and worm/flea treatments cost me $100 per week. And if you feed the dog food from the supermarket it will always be sick and slowly die young. Super market pet food is poison. I hope the video explains this in detail. Do I regret getting my dogs? No, they kept me alive because I had to focus on them instead of myself. But they didn't help my housemate because the dogs are my focus not my housemate's. I bought the dogs because I didn't have kids and I wanted someone to look after. I also hoped to get fit and lose weight but that I failed in due to covid pandemic, but I am working on it.
Yeeeess that's the exact reason why I struggle with deciding for a dog. I also have chronic illness and migraines, and as I'm living alone in my apartment, it's not easy to ask others to walk with the dogs on those days. And walking in general is painful on some days, so dogs would probably be very miserable with me. Of course, the pressure of having to go outside and do some movement ecery day would be beneficial for me, BUT it would also be additional pressure on those difficult days when I'm already struggling. Can't recommend a dog with EDS, migraines and single af.
When signing my puppy up for daycare, they asked how much I was willing to authorize them for vet bills (should they be unable to reach me before a decision must be made). Knowing I had a finite amount of cash I needed on hand, is helping me weigh whether I'm able to get a dog again right now. So, hopefully this helps with that 40k estimate too (that's also useful to think about, thank you!)
My dog is the only reason I get out of the house some days
Me too!! 💛
Agree!!!!
Same. After my last dog died, I was basically an indoor cat for months
The babies need to potty!
My (ADHD) husband and Myself (AuDHD) got a Shiba inu 2 years ago. We've been told that it is not a good dog for first owners. When we asked why, we've been told that they are dog-cats, they don't like peolple, they like to have some time alone sometimes... Heck Yeay ! That breed is neurodivergent AF ! We have absolutely no regrets !
I refuse to get a dog until I feel better. I'm currently trying to go on walks with my auntie and her dog every day so I know I'm capable. I also want to make sure I'm financially secure and can work from home. A dog deserves the best possible care, and I'm not in a place to supply that yet, but I'll get there 😊
That’s so responsible and such a good way to see if it’s right for you. Wishing you all the best whatever happens! 🎉 I would suggest looking at older rescue dogs too as they generally want steady sniff walks rather than 2 hours chasing a ball, and they don’t go mad if you have a bad mental health slump and can’t get them out for a day or two ❤❤
@@KalishkaRuby thank you so much for the encouragement and support. Great advice too, my partner and I are definitely looking at rescuing, but I was a little afraid of vet bills with pre-existing conditions in an older dog, but I've since discovered pet insurance specifically for dogs with pre-existing conditions that lasts a year. I just want to be fully informed and sure I can take on the financial burden before committing. It'll probably be a couple of years or so, but I'm hoping I'll get there 😊
I'm so glad you're being responsible and considering your capabilities.
I like dogs, but I have always considered myself a cat person. I don't want a dog of my own to be responsible for, but I have this wonderful arrangement with a friend who has a dog. The walks with the dog are really good for both my physical and mental health. The dog is of course really happy to get extra walks. And my friend doesn't have to rush home from work to walk the dog. It's what we call win-win-win.
❤
Cats have a cheaper adoption fee
I had a neighbor like that. Their American Pitbull was an absolute sweetheart and I was her favorite person.
Expect the unexpected when you adopt a dog. I took one look at my girl on her adoption site and knew she was meant to be my dog. That being said, everyone thought she would grow to be around the height of my knee, and she ended up almost to my hips
oh wow 😅 we knew our puppy would grow into a big girl based on her breed (bernese) but my sister in law got what looked like a rough coated dachshund puppy from an oversees rescue organisation - turns out there was some other kind of long legged hunting dog mixed in 😂 she‘s a sweet girl but very energetic and prey driven 😅
My pets are the one thing I take care of no matter what and it truly holds me accountable for myself too.
Exactly. Helps my depression so much. I don’t want to get out of bed but I do want to see how happy my kitty gets when I feed him 😭 and hearing him purr while I prep his food.
Yep. Things have to be *really* bad for me to even feel frustrated about tending to their needs, and even on my worst day it's workable (dog, 2 cats, 9 chickens). Then, tending to those needs help me to feel better about myself. And on not-rotten days, I... seem to be taking lessons? about how and why to take care of *myself?* from tending to their needs.
Animals friends can be so impactful, if you can find the right kind of companion to fit your worst days (and income - I can't believe how expensive it is to just *have* a dog/cat... and I don't go out and buy crap for them, I'm just talking basic wellness vet bills/spay or neuter/inexpensive end of the food equation)
My wife has ADHD and I'm autistic, and having dogs is AMAZING! When we weren't diagnosed we were already benefiting from dogs for a looong time. My dog always knows when I'm freaking out and does everything she can to protect me, sitting in front of me like a guardian or jumping on me to give me cuddles.. She even barks my wife away to tell her to give me space, which is actually really helpful in a meltdown.
Oh, and our two dogs moved from Brazil all the way to Portugal.. and the LOVE Europe actually
drkyles1 is the source
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The timing of you posting this is personally funny to me because I recently asked myself "do I want to get a dog or go to grad school?" Grad school has won out for now, but I really appreciate how you listed other ways to get in that good doggo time without needing to own a dog yourself.
Help your dog owning friends by dog sitting! It helps so much to have reliable people in your live where you can drop of your dog. It is a win-win situation.
But ask them for rules beforehand and follow them. Consistency is very important in dog training!
Don't be afraid to set up some rules of your own too. If you're dogsitting in your own house, you can have some rules which are stricter than the rules the dog has at home. I dogsit for my sister-in-law's dog. When he's at my house, I wipe his paws clean every time after a walk before he's allowed to go further into the house. I don't want muddy paw prints in my house. My sister-in-law doesn't do that except in exceptional cases. I've also taught the dog that it is not allowed to walk out the front door unless I say "Okay". Another rule my sister-in-law doesn't have in her home.
I’m a first time dog owner and the experience of raising a dog from puppy has changed my life. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I sometimes wanted to give up. Yes, I committed everything to him and I have support from my partner, too. Yes, my apartment is dirtier and takes more to clean. Yes, it is expensive to treat my dog’s problems and prevent unhealthy outcomes. But also yes, he is the world to me and every day is a new day for me to try my best for him, which is an indicator for optimism I never knew I needed. And yes, he gives the best cuddles that I could ever ask for from an 83 pound fuzzball.
Edit: I know adoption is better and I hope to adopt one day. But my dog came from an accidental litter in my neighborhood and taking him in prevented him from going to a shelter.
"every day is a new day for me to try my best for him" omg, I'm practically ugly crying lol.
I give up on myself a thousand times a day,
I never give up on my dog.
(... and recognizing that, is helping me learn how to look for and develop the resilience to stop giving up on myself quite as much... )
@@rebeccaburnell9319 awww, these canine relationships are such good work and it goes both ways. Your dog won’t give up on you either!
That's basically the same as adoption
I had two cats that provided me comfort. The last one passed away in September. I am looking for a new cat and I been stressed since. My work hours don't work for me to have a dog.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly
@@LucyFernandez628
I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
@@WalterFair130Does he deliver to various locations?
My pets hold me accountable to take care of myself because I won't let them down. They really are so amazing for my mental health 🐾
1.5 speed is rookie numbers
Rookie numbers gave me a good chuckle 😭
haha, I always forget to change the speed back to 1x when I'm showing people videos
real af, most times i do 1.75 but sometimes 2
😂😂😂
I also would not be here if not for my fur baby that I got to enjoy for 17years. She was born when I was in high school, the worst period of my life, filled with bullying, family abuse/neglect and religious trauma. Through the severe depression and anxiety, she gave me a reason to keep living. I recently got a new fur baby and she too has helped me with depression. Dogs are amazing beings!🐕💜
I moved to a rural property and knew exactly what I wanted/needed in a dog - in my case, I was getting chickens and I needed to feel some kind of security that there wasn't going to be a situation where I brought a dog home who was unlikely to have the genetics to make it easy to train to be around livestock. And I wanted a friend who would love -30C winter as much as I do.
Because of the whole livestock concern thing, I decided to go ahead and find a puppy from working line parents where at least one parent was a herding breed (not show line or "has a female they like to breed to sell puppies"), and knew I was 100% never-going-back committing to an active life because dogs bred for jobs need a job and/or a very active physical life + mental partnership with their human. I was committed to the training it would take, and excited for it. I found a litter of Australian Shepherd x Maremma puppies after looking at other options for a year.
I got Ceilidh (Kaylee) April 2022, and she literally upended my life lol. She is SO trainable,* and SO eager to "work" with me... but she's been a handful since about 4 months of age.
*except: she has a 0-100 trigger for unmanageable excitement that I'm only just now getting a bit of a handle on, and she's 55lbs so that's a LOT of dog to be throwing herself through the air at the end of her leash wanting to go meet the 6yr old neighbour kid on their bike 200m down the road.
I have literally never missed a single day of working on training stuff, nor a single day of getting outside with her multiple times (because her recall isn't good enough to even CONSIDER letting her off leash given the circumstances described in the paragraph above this, but I don't have a fenced area and I refuse to put her out on her own on a line; my plan was - and still is - to commit to being on the other end of the leash every single time she so much as needs to go out to pee, knowing that it would be good for *me,* too .... but I'll be honest, 2 years of that is longer than I thought I'd be in this position, given my every day commitment to training). And I'm not just talking about rehearsing "Sit" and "Down" and stuff - tons of behaviour training every single day, plus teaching her to play Fetch and Frisbee to tire her out, training with the cats and the chickens, plus she can't tolerate being brushed or having her nails trimmed (even at 2+ years of working on it) so we work on THAT, too - like, tons of training that doesn't even involve a brush or the nail clippers to gradually work her into being OK with those sensory things.
Yep.
An autistic woman has found herself with a dog with anxiety (probably through me) and sensory issues.
... at least I understand her, sigh.
And she's AMAZING. I've been working with positive reinforcement training since I got her at 2 months old and it is the most AMAZING THERAPY TOOL for *me* too. It's teaching me SO MUCH about myself. And her getting me outside for walks every day plus fetch or frisbee every day plus all her bathroom breaks is amazing for me. We say hello to the moon and star-gaze every night it's not cloudy!
(she literally looks upwards with me; I don't think she knows what we're doing, but she definitely sometimes gets curious about what I'm looking at)
It makes me want to have a breakdown when I think of all the spoons I've poured into training her every day for over 2 years and we *still* have the unmanageable excitement/over-stimulation problems - spoons I therefore didn't have, for other things you need to do in life that I already baseline struggle with, like hygiene, cleaning, making it to appointments, answering the phone, etc (I'm already on Disability so at least there's no work or school) - but she's an amazing doggo and I'm fiercely proud of the progress she's made. I've finally managed to afford an online training class with a positive reinforcement trainer whose methods I've followed all the way along (it didn't occur to me that if I was already following ALL the HUNDREDS of hours of UA-cam information she has, with a puppy I've had since 2 months old, that I could *possibly* need help with training... so it took me a while before I could manage to pay for training after it took me a while to admit to myself that I needed help). Things are really looking up... in the context of "there's a TON of work to do - every single day - before these problems have been overcome, but I can see the path forward clearly now."
Some day, my neighbours will get to see what an incredible dog she is, because she'll finally be able to meet people. Right now all they see is me working with her to get her to stop barking and straining at the leash to get to them, and if they dare approach it takes 5min of work to get her to let the approach without throwing herself on them. Doesn't leave them with the impression that she's an amazing doggo.
But she's SO SMART and has learned such amazing things I had no idea I'd ever be able to train a dog to do, in the service of trying to develop a "work" partnership with her. We'll get there. ♥
Anyway.
In case that novel helps ANYONE make any of the decisions that need to be made when deciding to get a dog... there it is.
Agree with this 100%. The doggie walks are the only way I get out of the house and exercise. Having her around also makes me feel safer at home when I’m alone. I read about a dozen books before getting a dog and I fully recommend going into it with at least that amount of knowledge on what to expect.
my doggos were literally the only one reason i did not gave up on life last year. they are family and help me in so many ways. hugs to all of your furry friends 🩷
I've been unable to get a dog due to financial and rental constraints, but I'm so excited to give them a happy, long life as soon as I'm able
I bought a bus to live in so I could own a dog. Gave up on relying on rentals. Now I don't pay rent at least! But I would prefer to have housemates sometimes
@@chloeindigo Nice! I'm glad you had the opportunity and found something that works for you and your pup 💙🐶
Love his little vest for his walks, that's super smart.
drkyles1 is the source
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I had a dog for 13 years, from 6 weeks old. She was my doghter. The last 2 years she lived with my mom. She was well loved. And well trained. I hardly ever used a leash with her. She responded to vocal commands. I miss her.
Watching this with my dog ❤ He helps me soo much. He also has broadened my perspective on how I treat myself. I know he learns better with positive feedback so why do I expect myself to learn and change behaviours when I am always being hard and mean on myself. He needs a lot of rest after activities with a lot of outside stimulation, and interactions with other dogs or people. I don’t blame him so why would I blame me for the same. Through the compassion I have for him I can learn to have more compassion with myself.
All your points on downsides are sooo real though. It helps to live with someone else who shares the responsibilities.
My roommate has a dog I walk regularly, snuggles with me, and makes me smile.
I love my dog but sometime I notice that my dog can add to my overstimulation. Sometimes her smell or dog hair texture or slobber can be a sensory nightmare
This is really great. Pets can be such a boon to our mental health and quality of life, but it is so important to know how to factor theirs as well.
I like animals, but if I was living alone, I would 100% not be able to handle a dog. It'd have to be a cat. I just don't have the ability to match a dog's energy to take care of them the way they deserve, and even though I love them I get really overstimulated from them barking and scratching and licking my face.
Cats are a lot smaller, and they definitely can still be loud and scratch and in your space, but they tend to be lower energy in general and their size is easier to manage for me. I can usually meet their needs or let them know gently that I'm busy right then, and I feel like I can give them a much better quality of life. Loving your pets isn't just an emotion, it's making sure that you can realistically give them what they need to live a full and happy life. I'm really glad there's other people who can provide for our dogs, but I don't think it would be responsible for me to own them on my own.
I always feel really bad when my family's dogs are like frantic for attention from me but are way too overstimulating for me to give it. Also we live someplace with a lot of road noise, and our dogs bark at EVERYTHING. It's enough to trigger meltdowns for me some days, or I'm genuinely worried they're going to damage my already damaged hearing when they bark right next to my head. They're so loving and when I have the energy I love to play with them and give them hugs and scratches and tell them how great they are, but they're a lot to handle.
That said, we've definitely had much calmer dogs in the past. Breed is SUPER important. Our Pyrenees/lab/pit bull is really big and usually quiet but barks really loud, but is so gentle and kind and well behaved. He is convinced he's still puppy sized and tiny, and so careful not to hurt anyone. Our lyca/collie mix though is... She makes the Golden Gates bridge look low strung. She needs constant exercise and interaction, is very prone to jealousy when we give our other dog attention, very food defensive, extremely vocal, and she has allergies which make her have even more frantic energy and will scratch us to try to get us to scratch her. Even with all that she is so playful and sweet and just has a smile that makes you melt, and I love her dearly, but taking care of her is a lot of work. With the breed profile of our boy, his working dog ancestors were livestock guardians, and you can tell both in how gentle he is, and how territorial he is to Anything Outside, and he is pretty easy to train. For our girl, she's a hunting and herding dog mix, and you can tell. She's very independent and doesn't really want to listen, but also only wants to be told she's doing a good job, and she wants a job (running around the backyard sniffing stuff for hours).
When you're looking for a dog breed, pay attention to the general temperament. Of course individuals will have their own personalities, but you'll have a better idea of their potential needs (and health profile!) and what they might be like. Like we had to be very careful with our boy, because we wanted to get him fixed only once his hips finished growing so he didn't have joint problems down the line. He's extremely healthy, but we had to make sure he didn't come in contact with any unfixed females before we could get him surgery, for like a year. And we know that because (part) of his breed gets so large, we need to keep an eye on his heart as he gets older. We like to get mixes rather than pure breeds because they tend to have less health problems, and we like to rescue when we can. Our boy was a rescue we got as a puppy, and it sounds like the people who had him initially were trying to breed fighting dogs 😬. He was immediately loving and gentle and a good listener, but it took a while before he realized he could trust us to feed him regularly and that we wouldn't hurt him. Our girl we got from someone who unexpectedly had a large litter of puppies and needed to find homes for them, and she actually started way more chill as a puppy and got way less chill as she grew up.
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I have border collies. They’re so high energy that getting out to exercise is way easier than dealing with the consequences if I don’t. These days, I have to get up early to get a long walk in before it gets too hot. Overslept yesterday and then I had to spend the entire day coming up with enrichment for them just to channel their energy😂 Luckily they’re understanding if I’m not feeling well. They also love routine and act as the bedtime police. They’ll herd me to the bathroom and then the bedroom if I’m up to late. But they always seem to know if I’m sick and will just be quiet and snuggly. Best thing ever invented, dogs.
That said, pre-diagnosis and medication it was SO HARD to get outside, even with the high energy doggos. I had to really fight with myself to get it all done. The exercise, for one, but also the grooming and whatnot. I totally see how someone might just not be able to take care of a dog.
I'm autistic and ADHD. Both of my rescue dogs were pretty bad for my mental state 😭 they had behavioral issues and my first dog sent someone to the ER from biting them. I still have PTSD from it. My current dog isn't aggressive but is insanely reactive and LOUD and gives me sensory overload every day. I love(d) my dog(s) but I honestly think they stress me out more than help me
Best pet I've ever had is a ball python. He is such a calm, chill snake. His weight and texture are extremely satisfying to hold and pet. He makes no noise and has no smell or mess. He takes some work and it's just enough and not overwhelming (example, only needs to be fed every 2 weeks, needs exercise but doesn't need long "walks", etc) plus the fact he doesn't emote like a average mammal and is misunderstood feels so relatable to myself 🥲
I hate those low days when I feel like such a bad dog mom, but my baby is so good. I love him
Adopt OR shop responsibly. There are non ethical shelters the same as there are non ethical breeders. Rescue pups are great for some people! But some can benefit from having a breed that can have reliable personalities and behaviors. This can be even more true for those neurodivergent people who need consistency. I have both a rescue pup and pup from a breeder and both come with their own challenges.
Thank you for the well thought out realities of owning a dog. As someone in rescue I wish more people thought this was- ownership and care is for their whole lives.
Without my dog I might not even be anymore. I got him JUST before corona (time of extreme isolation) which helped me get to know myself (unmasking) and accept the fact that I am neurodivergent (realised that I'm autistic 6 years ago, started seeking help 3.5 years ago, finally got my diagnosis one month ago!!) I would not have made the battle without his company
Thank you so much for this video!
A lot of your content on your channel makes sense. I have ADHD. You’ve helped me feel a little more sane and I’m still learning to manage my symptoms on low days. This video has been a highly of my day! What you said about dogs being a lifetime responsibility and feeling guilty during low, low days when you’re not feeling up to much and yet you have to take care of Obi still, and then feel guilty because he deserves “better “… I have felt that every day with my pup.
I moved out for the first time and ended up having to buy my dog literally two weeks after moving in; I would have waited, but it just had to happen. (Long story) I was not confident in myself nor was I thinking I could look after a dog while figuring out living with rent and school, work, and internship. Now, it’s been over a year, and getting my dog has been one of the best decisions ever made. He’s my angel, my lovie, my best friend. I wonder how I got so lucky. Oh, and he gets along great with my cat lol.
Thank you for your love and honesty in this video. Obi could not have asked for a better dog mom than you😊
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Everything you described matches my experiences as a dog owner with ADHD (I hadn't thought to anchor my habit stacking to dog walks and her feeding routine, though! That's a great insight👍🏼) I agree that fostering & dogsitting can be a good a way for ppl to benefit from quality time with a dog while trying to see if they can handle the commitment and responsibilities.
Also, Obie is completely adorable, I love him 😍
Isn’t he the best??
@@hayley.honeyman Yes!! And it warms my heart that he's a rescue that has found his furever family with y'all 🥰
I agree wholeheartedly! we got a bernese puppy 2 yrs ago to the day and she‘s amazing! also, for the first 1.5 yrs or so we lived in an appartment building with her - having your own yard is nice but not a must have for keeping a dog. the one thing I would add: please consider the size/weight of your future dog, especially as a first time owner. training takes time and if they are misbehaving you need to be able to control them physically. you might make things easier on yourself if you opt for a smaller dog. not complaining about my 40kg floofball, just saying I don‘t need to lift weights… 😉
My dog showed up when my older dog passed away. I wasn't planning on keeping him, but I'm glad I did. He's an American bulldog or a mix of that and I swear he's neurodivergent, too, because he sorts his food and eats everything separately, he will eat anything as long as it's covered in ranch or cheese (I have kids who don't listen when I say don't feed the dog), and he's scared of the dark. He weighs 90 pounds! He's getting older so we don't play as much, but he still enjoys going for walks and then left alone for long naps.
Dogs are the best!! I’ve had mine for 12 years and he’s my best friend 🥺🥰 We are so much alike lol I think he’s neurodivergent too because we both get completely disregulated if we don’t take our daily walks. Dogs are the perfect presence to have for me - not having to talk to anyone but also not being alone. He and I share the same love of the mountains
5 years ago I moved with my partner to another state. But I was getting lonely as we weren't near any of my family only near his and I cannot work and I cannot drive due to multiple disabilities. We got a dog to help combat this loneliness and she started helping with my other disabilities. She started to help mitigate my seizures she started to alert to my seizures before they would happen. Getting her was the second best decision I had ever made the first best was training her as a service animal. She's only been in training as a service animal for about 6 months now and she is doing fantastic she's on track for graduation in a few months and she is everything I could ever ask for.
I live in a very small town now and I've lived in this town for over 5 years, many of the people in the town keep thinking I have moved here 6 months ago because I live so close to the downtown area they see me everyday and know that I live close, but they didn't see me before so it had to be soon. It wasn't it just wasn't safe for me to walk the two blocks to the coffee shop before I had her and not had her as my pet but had her as a service animal. She is the best hairstyle in training I could ask for and whenever we're struggling with training I usually find out it's on me not her.
My cats are my emotional support, although one acts like a dog sometimes!! I dog sit for friends and that's a bonus.
My cat is very dog like too.
Great video, covering the good and bad.
Love how your cat keeps looking up as if to say ‘Hey, what about me? I’m fluffy too!’
I was able to adopt my sweet girl at 8 years old because she needed to be rehomed. She has changed my life immensely and I am glad I could give her the best life in her later years as senior dogs aren't as desirable to a lot of people.
The only downside to getting a dog is you love them so much you can’t imagine ever not having a dog so you get another dog and now you have double the work and double expenses 😂but also double the love. I love my dogs so much hahaha
First of all I would love a video of how to deal with the guilt and shame of not being able to give them long walks or quality time wiht us when we're having bad days and also how to emotionally deal with dog reactivity and other behaviors that can be overwhelming for us 💜
Well and I wanted to share a little story
I found my dog in a dumpster during quarantine and initially I decided to be her foster mom but after a month or so I realized we really clicked, it was the perfect fit. So I talked with my parents to keep her (since I didn't have any kind of income at that time) but it would be my responsibility and if I moved out she would come with me. They agreed. She gave me purpose, a routine and a great body doubling companion but I kept feeling bad for having bad days. Recently I saved up some money so I could pay dog training and after some sessions and being totally honest with my difficulties they reassured me that I was doing things right and they wished every client was as invested in their dog as me. This came as a shock since when I was having bad days I couldn't give her all the time she needed. They proceeded to teach me some accommodations for those days like having a place to pee if I couldn't take her out at that time due to a meltdown and having flyers nearby to give her so she can rip appart to regulate herself when I'm not emotionally available. This is absolutely not a substitute but a tool to help me when Im having bad days and it has immensely improved our relationship.
Thank you for this!! We stand for our traumatized kings! And our autistic kiddos!
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I always wanted a dog, but my life gave me a cat first, so the cat got to go on walks in a harness and learn multiple tricks 😄 When I was finally ready for a dog I chose to buy a puppy, but to my defense we don't have many dogs in shelters or any on the streets in my country, and I needed a bit more predictability than rescuing from abroad would have given me. The dog in question is now 13 and still doing well, and there's not been a day of regret in our journey. She introduced me to my current partner years ago just out on a walk, and I've also made a career for myself as an animal trainer mainly because of everything she (and the cat) have taught me. I see enough dog problems to fully appreciate the warnings you gave, but dogs can honestly do wonders too and save us in so many ways!
I love your sign-off line. It always makes me smile 😊❤
I actually have been planning to get a dog beginning of next year. Until then I’m saving up a dog fund and looking in to all of the training things I will have to do, (I want a hunting dog so I will be training accordingly) and any specialty grooming for the breed I want etc
I would argue cats can be a good option if owning a dog is too hard for someone with autism and adhd. I have two cats and I do incredibly well with them considering what my lifestyle is and what I feel I’m capable of doing. I genuinely love dogs but at least for now, having my cats help me immensely. I have autism and adhd and yea, they’re my best friends :)
I will also say that with the housing thing, if your dog becomes your emotional support animal (my therapist wrote a letter that I gave to my landlord basically) then you have a lot more options for suitable living spaces, especially in apartment complexes. And since your video seems to focus on the benefits of a dog for neurotypical people it seems that the dog probably would be acting in that way and you could get a letter like that from a therapist or psychiatrist.
Not me, who uprooted my life and moved to Europe with my dog 🙈 😂😂
It can be done but he WAS the hardest part of the move in so many ways (including the fact I had to find new people to take care of him on long days or when I was away for work or on vacation). So don’t not make a move just because you have a dog. And don’t get rid of your dog just because you have to make a move. You can figure it out, saying it’s not possible or it’s hard isn’t an excuse. If I did it to a country I’d never been to before, that operated in a language I didn’t speak in the midst of a pandemic you can do it too 😂.
But if you can manage a dog he has been the best thing I ever could have done for my mental health. He gets me out of bed every morning and outside every day and is the best for cuddles when I need them (And he actually made the move easier in a lot of ways because I wasn’t ever alone with him there).
Having to leave the house several times per day isn’t for everyone but pets in general are very beneficial and there are other kinds of pets too they’re all great 😊
ur seriously so naturally funny
I'm autistic and ADHD. I'm extremely allergic to dog dander, dog hair, dog smell and dog saliva.
Also...their barking hurts my ears. I hate it when they jump up on me when standing or sitting. Their scratching and licking themselves annoys me and grosses me out. It bugs me when they stare and drool when I'm eating. I get nauseous when they hump other dogs, legs, pillows,or drag their butt on the carpet. I cannot even imagine picking up poop in a bag.
So...I'm different.
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I need to share this to my kids
So excited for my doggo one day (hopefully this year, we'll see😭)! I need a service dog so have to purchase from a breeder and never had a dog so not going the puppy route this time but I so wish I could give a home to a shelter dog! I genuinely can't take the chance on behavioral things that may be sensory struggles and I REFUSE to rehome. My sincerest best wishes to all those who do adopt, I hope you can continue your good work with as much ease & support as possible❤
I would also ask yourself , what other animals can ground me that i can take care of? being neurodivergent i love reptiles and fish and have had them as pets, they bring structure and routine and grounding to my day. Maybe not in the same way a mammal would, but regardless still meaningful
Falkor, our Tibetan Spaniel, goes to bed at 6pm, and comes out at 7pm to protest that I'm not in bed. I have physical disabilities on top of the brain stuff, I often feel like a bad dog mama. However I know living with dogs is the best thing for me, the six months between my first dog dying and getting my second dog was heartbreakingingly lonely.
I do like dogs but don't want to own one. Instead I have two cats, one which has a dog like personality. Both know a few tricks and they help me take care of myself because they are also big on their routines. But I love visiting people with dogs, just they can be very overstimulating for me.
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Love the recommendations in the middle and the way you tell about the issues
Personally I feel that having a cat already makes a big difference in having a routine, having to get out of bed to feed him and play with him, having to keep the space clean for him... but sometimes it's already really hard to keep a cat, let alone a dog. I think I don't have what it takes to take care of a dog well, with having to go on walks so often too, and other areas where a dog demands more work than a cat (like grooming), so I would only have a dog if I was living with a partner that had a dog. Having a pet to take care of is a lot of responsibility but also brings a lot of joy either way, so I'm glad the cat distribution system worked in my favor
I WANT A DOG SO BADLY 😭😭😭
I've basically lived with one in the house all my life, and our most recent dog passed a few months ago. I miss him, I grieve for him, and the absence of a dog in my life haunts me every single day. Unfortunately, my dad isn't ready/is unable to adopt, and I'm a poor college student that moves around a lot, so it's not realistic or fair for me to get a dog atm. Even if my dad did get a dog, I don't live with him for most of the year, so I'd rarely get to see them. It sucks a lot. I know I can live without one because I'm doing it right now, but I feel so much sadder. I miss having a dog.
Amazing video, you covered all the important points ❤❤
Cats version next please.
I love dogs but I don't think I could own one because of overstimulation. I have cats and they provide a lot of the same benefits while being more manageable for me. That said, i wish i had a friend with a dog that I could visit!
Through being a Rover sitter, I’ve learned that-while dogs are fun to take care of for other people-the lifestyle is not for me permanently. Which is why I have 4 cats of my own. Lol.
Adopt don't shop actually started for puppy mills, etc. Ethical breeders can be a really good resource and they help keep dogs out of shelters.
I just saw that new research shows that iron supplements are more effective when taken every other day than every day. Ask your doc about it! :)
I got distracted by the start of this video because it fascinates me that people don’t need to walk their dogs 4 times a day every day. For me it is not a choice, it is how it is done here, which is excellent by the way. Dogs are good for your health.
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From experience, I understand that my particular brand of AuDHD does not benefit from having pets. I'm glad they help others though
drkyles1 is the source
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I have a cat who likes to act like a dog. Does he count?
He likes to go on walks with me (without leash), always follows me around, sleeps next to me while i work and he knows his name and some tricks like "sit" and "paw".
I like dogs but I LOVE cats so much that I’m a frequent house / cat sitter (last cat passed away last year)
I’d def consider dog sitting but I need to research breeds that don’t bark or drool 😅
The permission to turn up the speed was surprisingly helpful
How old is Obi? And what are your cats names? 🩵
He is around 3 years old! :) and my cats are Zuko and Kylo
@@hayley.honeyman cool names!! Obi seems like the bested boy 🥹🩵
Do you recommend ADHD folks getting a cat? What are your thoughts on it? Thank you! ❤
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Ehhh its not that much work bringing a puppy dog to Europe with you. Just got to make sure their paperwork is in order. Now 2 cats 1 dog thats more difficult.
Owning a dog isn't inherently expensive.... It can be expensive. Usually the shelter will tell you about things like allergies and medication. It's okay to choose a dog that won't have as many regular medical costs if you literally don't have the money compared to other people.
Going to the vet is expensive and you have to go a little bit more often than you assume even when you dont have any special needs. But there's a lot you can do to reduce it. Mine went to the vet because she tended to eat everything off the pavement but training helped with that. There's so much online.
There's so much you can do about behavioural issues, even fear aggression. You just need to deep dive enough to get an understanding.
The food is not expensive. I spend like $50-$70 a month. You don't need to buy treats and toys because a lot of common things fulfil these needs. Eg tiny cubes of cheese now and then for high value treats, extra kibble for training, cardboard and natural rope for toys, tennis balls literally just get left in the park and I find them daily. Most charity shops have a pet section.
Owning a dog can be expensive because there's plenty of branded products, but it doesn't have to be expensive.
What is unavoidably expensive is the vet and any special travel crating you need. Everything else is a choice if you go for the expensive option or not
I can't afford a dog😢 and i think it would be too much responsability for me. But the thought is nice.
thanks for the 1.5x speed tip.. but mine is already at 2x 😭 !
Gosh, I want a doggo soooooooo bad 😭 but I work too many hours and it would be so cruel for them 😟 maybe one day
You don't have any ads in any video! Omg!
I already had it on 1.5 speed before I even started the video lol
I would like a furry little buddy, but the main thing that puts me off is the smell. I like dogs, but the way they smell makes me feel nauseous and I don’t think I could deal with that every day. Being sensitive to sensory input is a common trait in both adhd and autism, as is struggling to maintain a clean space, but no-one ever seems to talk about the stank of pets.
I have OCD and can’t pick up dog poop. Would love some solutions from one neurodivergent to another.
That's something that worried me a lot (for sensory reason) before getting my dog but I actually have no problem with it. It comes to what's necessary. I will however struggle if I have to pick someone else's dog poop.
Same with kisses I can't deal with it from another dog but from mine it's not a problem.
It's not necessarily the same for you but if you have the opportunity to care for another animal (I had bunnies for years before getting my puppy) try and see if you can deal with what's "gross".
If it's also a sensory issue maybe using gloves in addition to bags can help with added protection. There are also some poo picking tools but honestly I don't think they can work on grass and will probably leave more of a mess than anything...
Hayley, I rarely looked at your face during this video. I was too focused on THAT SWEET FLUFFY LITTLE FLUFF OF A FLUFF *aggressivecuteness*
I wish I could get a dog, but it would make my slim chances of finding an appartment to rent even slimmer and more than all I want to leave my parents because they are suffocating me... I could really use a dog 😢
I am always shocked to hear about the issues to get an apparetement that allows pets. I live in France, and as long as you don't have a Lion or a wolf, you can have pets, it is in the law. The tricky thing tho is that there is so many places you can't take them... any shop that sells human food for example, some parcs, hotels, etc...
But the petsitters are less expensive, we sent on a tri for 2 and a hlf week last summer and it cost us 300€. With videos and messages everyday to see how she was
I also live in France with my pets (a dog, a cat and 2 bunnies) and even if in theory they are not allowed to say no to pets it can still get really uncomfortable. I have been renting for a while before I got my house. I had only a bunny (free range) at the time and there had been occasional destruction, it was stressful to keep the pet out of the way and the apartment perfectly clean when the homeowner or contractors had to come. I can't see myself renting with my 4 animals now, especially since my dog has had some destructive behaviour in the past due to separation anxiety and is really protective of "our home".
❤ hayley
No, Haley. Dogs own us!!! They train us. And we are devoted. : )
I am ADHD and I am very pro cat! Mine is crazy affectionate, just wants cuddles and is such a boo boo, but I can also go out for an evening, work or have a chaotic schedule without him freaking out. A side note, I’ve noticed A LOT of adhd women gravitating to cats, both un and already diagnosed!
Cats are great, non-cat people are really over dramatic and mean about them!
I think it's really great to find what works for us. Before I could get a dog I have had bunnies for a long time and they were what I needed. They are "low maintenance" (compared to a dog) but we still had a lot of interactions, they are really curious animals in the right environment. I got a puppy when I got a stable job and a house and the benefits have been immense but it has also added a lot of pressure and stress. It had been overwhelming at times. For me the benefits have been greater and I'm ok with the constraints that come with a dog (who had separation anxiety in addition) but I really think it's not for everyone. I found a lost kitten in my backyard and now have a cat in addition to my two bunnies and my dog. I love him but I can truly say I'm more of a dog person than a cat person at this point. I had a harder time with the biting, clawing and unpredictable zoomies of a kitten than I remember having trouble understanding my dog as a puppy. I'm also passionate about animal behaviour and the training part was what attracted me to my dog I'm happy to spend hours of my week training tricks, carving out unwanted behaviour and solving problems with a smart dog (sometimes too smart for his own good).
I can see in some other dog owners (especially neurotypical) how this is a chore to them.
So to each their own, it's nice to have many different options when it comes to pets.
PS: My cat is also smart as hell and I have been teaching him to sit for example. However it has not been breed for that and doesn't have the same "drive" to learn. Just to say I'm not saying dogs are better! It's a better fit for me
28. No kids. No family. I think ima get a dog too
So, can I get a dog for my dog?
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💯💯💯
Lol, I actually slowed you down to 0.75 speed!
We want a cat version
Don't get a dog for your mental health. Crazy, I know, but if you need to heal, and you would not consider adopting a 3 year old child to take care, then you will suffer trying to take care of a dog.
A dog is expensive to feed and needs vet care which has no Medicaid so you pay full price, needs 24 hour a day, 7 days a week care, needs a walk 3 times a day, a secure yard and 15-18 years of your life. If you can't imagine adopting a child for these reasons, do not get a dog.
I suffered a mental health crisis adter I got two dogs then my housemate also had a mental breakdown. We live in poverty even though we both work, and the bills for our dogs mount up. It cost $355 yesterday just to treat some hot itchy spots on one dog. My food bill and worm/flea treatments cost me $100 per week. And if you feed the dog food from the supermarket it will always be sick and slowly die young. Super market pet food is poison.
I hope the video explains this in detail. Do I regret getting my dogs? No, they kept me alive because I had to focus on them instead of myself. But they didn't help my housemate because the dogs are my focus not my housemate's.
I bought the dogs because I didn't have kids and I wanted someone to look after. I also hoped to get fit and lose weight but that I failed in due to covid pandemic, but I am working on it.
Heard! Hopefully my video does a good job of detailing this as well. Pets are not impulse purchases! Don’t worry, I make the same notes
I second this. I will always miss you Luna baby. 😢
Yeeeess that's the exact reason why I struggle with deciding for a dog. I also have chronic illness and migraines, and as I'm living alone in my apartment, it's not easy to ask others to walk with the dogs on those days. And walking in general is painful on some days, so dogs would probably be very miserable with me. Of course, the pressure of having to go outside and do some movement ecery day would be beneficial for me, BUT it would also be additional pressure on those difficult days when I'm already struggling. Can't recommend a dog with EDS, migraines and single af.
What you say is very true. I've read an article that estimates that you should expect to pay approximately 40 000$ for one dog's lifespan.
When signing my puppy up for daycare, they asked how much I was willing to authorize them for vet bills (should they be unable to reach me before a decision must be made). Knowing I had a finite amount of cash I needed on hand, is helping me weigh whether I'm able to get a dog again right now. So, hopefully this helps with that 40k estimate too (that's also useful to think about, thank you!)
Hey you’re very pretty
I got no plans. ADD
Carnism makes me sad. It's horrible the way we see animals as something to use, like they aren't sentient.
If you’re not sure a dog suits you, try fostering !
Not me on the way to a pet shop
Easier said than done! Can’t afford vet bills, dog food, dog license, landlord increases rent for pets…
You should watch the whole video, you’d benefit from that !! 🩷🩷