I was an 80s-90s teen, and even though I exhibited traits that would be identified as autistic today, no one thought that someone who could go to college and have a job could possibly be autistic.
One reason why I’m glad I wasn’t diagnosed back then is because of how completely misunderstood autism was. I probably had opportunities that I may not have had if I was simply because of people’s misconceptions.
I was a teenager in the late 1970s through early 1980s. Back then the only meaning I knew for "autistic" was someone who is completely nonverbal and needs constant care. Except for one cousin, whom I was told was "a little bit autistic." I probably could have been diagnosed with Asperger's as a pre-teen, but I never was. And as far as I know, people didn't know about the possibility of being "twice exceptional."
@@MartinMCade Growing up I only knew about autism from Rainman. 🤦♀️ It was much later that I gained a more accurate view, and I’m still learning about all it really encompasses.
I have spent the past 6 years meditating on past, present and future. due to a slight nervous breakdown. it has shown me where i came from, where im going...and how long i have to get there. March 19th, 2029. Time is short.
I’ve just put that missing piece into the complex equation of my life experience. I always wondered why I struggled with things that others did not. How many times I have been told things like, “you shouldn’t think like that.” or been corrected for things that I feel are right to me. I was abused at a very young age in the worst imaginable ways. I was always bullied. Thinking back I never had a job that I didn’t get from someone helping in some way. I feel like i always come off as weird to people. I feel like the burnout cycle answers so many questions of why I have this pattern that I seem to live by. Things stress me out that shouldn’t. I’ve lost so many jobs due to anxiety reactions that I have. I tried to go to college a few times and it just never seemed to pan out. I like school and learning but never feel comfortable asking for help because I feel traumatized by being tormented by peers and teachers. I feel like a target for bullying even now in my 40s. I could go on and on. Autism feels like that magic word that actually explains and describes all the things that I couldn’t relay to anyone. I feel like my whole life has been hell in a way. So many abusive relationships, so many. But I’m a guy so it’s funny to most people. I cry about things that would get me called the f word(you know which one). Which I’m sensitive to because of abuse. Not only by mother’s poor choices but a few other times through childhood. This revelation has been such a rollercoaster. I’m questioning so much about everything. I don’t even know who I am because I have always just strived to make people believe I wasn’t weird and to like me. Masking is all I know. I’m internally combusting all the time. I feel your struggle and I hope you are doing well. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I’m so sorry for everything that you’ve been through! Someone described being late diagnosed autistic as discovering you’d been playing the game on hard mode when most were playing it on easy. As a gamer, that certainly made sense to me. I hope that your discovery helps you unmask & embrace your individuality. I’ve always known I was weird, but looking as what passes for “normal”, is that really a bad thing? Now I just try to do whatever makes me feel comfortable. I also felt very misunderstood before finding out I’m autistic, but hearing others’ experiences has helped with that. Thanks for watching! Hoping things get better for you!
"Thinking back I never had a job that I didn’t get from someone helping in some way." Yes.. And we often don't look back on our lives, for this particular clue, until very late in the game. It's so telling, isn't it.
My autism stops me from explaining how I feel and how to articulate my experiences. Thanks so much for sharing. So much of your experience resonates with me.
This is my experience as well. I can't seem to get any help or attention because I feel like a circus animal jumping through arbitrary hoops and I just can't. That's true for autism / mental health supports but also for GI or allergy issues. I'm self-identified but not diagnosed by the system; maybe that would help.
@@jamesrempel8522 I’m sorry you’re having trouble getting help! If you do decide to go the official diagnosis route, you may check with colleges/universities with psychology programs in your area. Sometimes they’ll do the assessment more quickly and cost effectively.
I didnt realise I was autistic until 52 years old ....I'm happy for you to now know yourself better , it is such a relief when we are diagnosed and explains our whole life back to us....its an incredible journey ----enjoy ---enjoy being you now
@@Sensory0verlord you''re welcome 😀 it is brilliant to finally make sense of our lives isn't it ...and feel like I'm living in light now going forward .....I'm happy for you to be understanding and looking forward to your new journey with a smile
Thanks for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you when you say you were given the belt for what you now know was a meltdown 😢 It's great that you've now got some answers. I'm also recently late diagnosed at 44. I love your pun name too 👌😄
I had diagnosed at 47, have used last three years to find out more about my Autism. Am finding now in a positive way, that my life is starting to make sense and coming together. I have found a Therapeutic Counsellor who is trained in autism/ADHD, They are local to me and I will be contacting them in the near future. Autism can also be a gift. Thank you for sharing.
I believe it is a gift too, and probably the reason for my talents in art & music! As recently diagnosed, I’m just beginning to learn and already so much is starting to make sense.
I have just received an ADHD diagnosis with a recommendation to go for ASD diagnosis. My psychologist had noticed strong cues suggesting I am on spectrum, and I scored strong positive on a screening test she made me do because of it. I relate to so many things you have just said, and I really appreciate that you did, even though it was clearly painful to talk about. Thank you so much! For now, I am not sure I will go get an official diagnosis, since I see no real merit to it - I mean I already know that I am autistic, and I am grateful that finally so many things make sense to me. I went for ADHD test because I needed it to receive medication which would help. In my country it would make sense to get ASD diagnosis if I wanted to apply for some kind of annuities. But I don't need that. I think that the only merit would be to show my husband that my condition is not my make believe - he was skeptical about my ADHD diagnosis till the very end, until I had it on paper. It is sad for me when I try to explain things I have trouble with and he does not understand and say that I overreact...
Thank you for watching! There are pros & cons to getting an official diagnosis, with the only real cons for me being the wait and the cost. If you don’t need accommodations, etc. I can understand why not. Since I’m very sensitive to environmental stimuli, it’s helpful for me in case I need accommodations. I’m sorry your husband doesn’t understand. It can be hard, I know, getting people to understand that our nervous systems are wired differently & therefore respond differently than theirs. I hope he is willing to learn more about it.
I initially went in also for an ADHD diagnosis after years of coping (or having partners mediate the world for me), and two of the tests (over about 3 months of testing) I was like, “man, this gets me, I didn’t think anyone else thought like this” based on the questions it was asking. At the outbrief/diagnosis, the administrator said the tests I mentioned that were the ASD ones and sealed my ASD diagnosis. I did also get diagnosed with ADHD as well, as medication has really helped with both.
I identify with many things you said. I have suspected for a long time I’m on the autism spectrum. I remember watching Castaway and confused why Tom Hanks wanted to commit suicide. The island seemed so peaceful with no-one around.
@Sensory0verlord Yes only coconuts😂 I was a teenager of the 80s you the 90s you said. For me I like not needed much attention from others socially (low maintenance) Chatting on UT comments is mostly all I need and with safety boundaries🙂 I seem to love animals over people. I notice many others humans so desperately need the ongoing attention of others to fill the void which sounds like so much effort😔 But to much isolation can be unhealthy for the mind so I do try getting kick myself out the front door at times and get to my little bible study. Today I see improved self-awareness as the key to feeling better in my own skin which has been my experience. Sorry I’m trying not to ramble as I know you probably read many messages. Ps. I’m dyslexic(note poor grammar) and I heard this is pretty common with people on the autism spectrum. Take care
Your comment made me chuckle. When covid lockdown came my son and I (I think he is autistic as well) were happy to be locked up together. I understood why people would be lonely, but I didn't experience that at all
The Tom Hanks character in Castaway... Yes. I think I could tell he really needed what was anomalous to me. Yet, at the end, he wasn't happier to get it. He was not happy at the end of that film. Also, I was hysterical when Wilson floated off.
Omg! I relate sooooo much to what you say! I was the girl who got friends by being talented in drawing in elementary school!!! I literally wrote this in my autism diagnosis life story for my assessment! I’m getting my official diagnostic next week but the doctor already confirmed my being on the spectrum! I was also the one who had what I thought were panic attacks in high school but now I understand that they are childhood meltdowns that changes into that as we hit teenage years! Mine were always blamed on my thyroid problems… so ya, hormones! Wow! It’s the first time I hear someone story so similar to mine! Thank you for sharing!
So many things in common! I also went through a time when autoimmune hyperthyroidism became a suspect, but that went away on its own. (After I refused to have it removed). It’s awesome that you’re a professional artist! 😃
I was a fairly low-masking middle class boy in suburban Denver about a decade behind you in age, and autism/Aspergers was never considered (though ADD was, and while not diagnosed at the time I did get an ADHD diagnosis a few decades down the road), so it's doubtful you would have been diagnosed even as a male in a more favorable situation. On the other hand, most of my sensory issues are undersensitivities, and I don't seem to have meltdowns (my worst panic attacks may be meltdowns, but they don't seem to really fit the profile). If I was melting down frequently, maybe I would have been more diagnosable in the 90s?
You’ve got me curious about whether people with hypo sensitivity have fewer meltdowns than those with hypersensitivity. If so, that could be one reason for a missed early diagnosis in hypo cases. For me personally, I’ve found that sensory overload is nearly always at the root of my meltdowns. I still have a lot to learn though.
@@Sensory0verlord Meltdowns aren't technically part of the diagnostic criteria, but I imagine they correlate with a higher likelihood that a child will be seen as needing help. It's hard to get diagnosed if there are few obvious struggles.
@@JonBraseeven now ADHD very much covers most known autistic traits, so its still a problem with underdiagnosing autistics who were firstly diagnosed with ADHD. Also i see problem that many ADHD specialists starting to add autistic traits to ADHD and explaining everything with it, so actual even self diagnosis is much harder.
Whoa. People have never commented on my blinking BUT people need to take maybe ten pictures of me to get one with my eyes fully open (as opposed to closed or transitioning between open & closed.) Never before did I connect it with my autism. It makes sense that I'd blink a lot as a stim since no obvious stims were tolerated.
I’ve read that there’s a possible connection between saccadic eye movement & ASD. Blinking as a stim also makes sense, especially if other stims are suppressed.
My mum had Reynolds OCD heds 1:22 then severe ms I have asperger's ADHD heds j Sarno talks about Reynolds in his book right left of brain are you hypermobile I have fybromyalgia
@@Truerealism747 No, never been diagnosed with that. I used to have a lot of random pain & feel lethargic, but cutting out meat & a lot of processed foods helped that for me.
This is exactly like me and I've been curious but cannot afford testing. Ive also been diagnosed as ADD in childhood. I am currently in burnout and and mask constantly and struggle with longstanding OCD. I find it interesting how when I used to have to mask and there was not much awareness of autism many years ago that I had to constantly have to act like others and respond like others to get heard that I learned to turn on or off reactions... But now that I'm away from toxic behaviors and I've been alone with myself and healthy relationships now I'm more sensitive to my sensitivities and loudness and I'm curious that if it's because I'm not used to being around such chaos that now I'm super sensitive or if I'm just really naturally super sensitive as I remember being through childhood. Maybe a little of both. Thank you for posting this video.
You’re welcome! If you live near a college or university with a psychology department, they may offer testing at a much lower cost than private practices. It’s worth looking into if you think a diagnosis could help you. I’ve also noticed my sensitivities resurfacing more in the last few years and haven’t figured out why yet, but this is still new to me and I have much to learn.
Thrilled that Ms Algorithm connected us! I've noticed in myself (and suspecting in other women) that after "a certain age" ie, hormone changes is the culprit for increased sensitivity 🤔 @@Sensory0verlord
Relate to it all so much. Alot further down the path of life than you being nearly 60 and raising 5 kids with mant burnouts and confusion as to what my mental health struggles actually were. Brilliant knowing the reasons now but still seeking dx as it's still so isolating as husband, friends choose not to believe self dx or educate themselves about Autism. But super relieved we have the knowledge now.
I’m sorry about your husband & friends not being supportive! I hope they open up to the possibility & learn more about it and if an official diagnosis is what you want, that the process goes smoothly & quickly.
It must be really hard. You do know that a diagnosis doesn't alter what you are, though? The biggest hurdle is the one where you accept what you are. A diagnosis won't, necessarily, deliver that. And you are allowed to say, even to those closest to you, "No. It's either my way or the highway." Do that and watch how fast they learn to accommodate your needs. You don't even need to have, or give, a reason. At present it seems you are waiting for your loved ones to give you permission to be what you are. And I bet that a lot of the conflict comes down to fairly insignificant stuff, anyway. Aggregating into huge issues - probably quite small individually. I could never understand why every relationship seemed to, at some stage, turn seriously antagonistic. Everybody I meet, eventually, starts habitually gain saying everything I do. It might be ME. I might be the common denominator. I, somehow, have been encouraging dissent and I fall into that role. I haven't had enough confidence in myself to just say, "I'm doing it my way - like it or lump it." And, just because you're autistic - it doesn't mean you're wrong.
I drew lots of pictures as well! I loved art of almost any kind. I got diagnosed a little over a year ago at age 47. I am hypermobile, have migraines and POTS.
I've noticed a lot of women on the autism spectrum get migraines. I do & when I tell people that my migraines have numerous triggers.... apparently most migraine sufferers have 1 trigger🤷♀️
I'm very grateful for your life story. It has helped me and will help many others. I'm in my '60's and just now discovering how all the bits from my past fit, on the spectrum.
One of the things I learned young was identifying who cared about eye contact, so a little subroutine that plays during every single conversation I have in my life is “do they want eye contact? Yes? Make eye contact.” And force myself to do it and try not to forget. Otherwise they think I’m not listening. It’s a relief when I talk to someone that also avoids eye contact, and I make a little note about their personality to look for other signs they’re “like me,” like openly debating on talking about a subject, stopping myself, oversharing, etc. It wasn’t until getting diagnosed a year and a half ago at 35 that I realized I’ve always been looking for signs of ASD lol
Sometimes I can force myself to make eye contact, but then I wonder if it’s too much. Throughout my life there have been some people I just clicked with & would be able to talk to more easily. Now I realize that those people were most likely (a few confirmed) neurodivergent.
If You were diagnosed as a child, You would probably be sent on "therapy" to intensively teach You how to behave. They would definitely not help You. Btw, what i heared from You, how intense lot of stimuli are for You, and that You draw a lot. If You consider "problems" with concentration and have lot of creativity, You can consider checking things about ADHD. It can help a lot if You have full view on Your neurotype. Actually main thing, You should know You are ok as autistic. Its not any disorder, we are our own kind, with our rules and needs. World and society are disordered in many ways, that's why growing up in this world was a nightmare. P.S. I love Your fireplace. Wish You very best
Yes, I’m glad I wasn’t diagnosed as a child because of the misconceptions and lack of information and resources back then, especially where I grew up. I definitely don’t think negatively of being autistic. I’m happy with my brain & neurology. I almost feel bad for “normal” people because it seems like they’re missing out on so much. And you’re right- the world is disordered and a lot of “normal” things don’t make sense or they’re unhealthy.
Thank you, it was really helpful to hear your story. I've just found out I've been autistic all these years and there is a lot of reframing going on for me.
You’re welcome! My first thought is, I’m happy you can relate & then secondly I think, omg I hope whatever you can relate to wasn’t traumatic for you. 😆
@@Sensory0verlord living with Autism and ADHD without knowing till your older sure can be traumatic. I’ve worked through a lot and listening to others makes me feel like I’m not the only one- somehow that’s help more than anything.
Yes! 56 now and 7 years since diagnosis, so I guess we're around the same age, plus I come from a rural area. I hate the deep pressure/hard hugs though.
I would have a very heightened response whenever my parents were using a hammer nearby. I think they thought I was being overly dramatic. What it was like, though, was that every bang was a crunch for me. I'd, literally, get smaller and more compact with every bang. My teeth would grind in time. All my cranial bones would gnash together. I'd put my fingers in my ears and drop, cross legged, on the ground (and the hammerer might notice and roll their eyes - but carry on because they have a job to do) and with each blow I'd scrunch up more. Eventually, I'd be ordered outside before any hammering. I'm okay with wood saws (where you can hear each tooth and it's much more gentle and consistent). And I realised, the other day, that when I'm using a steel to sharpen a knife I can hear and feel the texture. I can hear and feel the little dinks and imperfections, in the blade, and I can detect the individual sounds of the bumps and grooves in the steel. Mind, hearing and feeling (for me) seem to have a massive overlap. I often can't tell which is more prominent. Edit: But I CAN hammer. It's different when I'm doing it. Just like how I don't get quite so travel sick when I'm the driver.
Do you think that's because you're more prepared for the sensations when you're in control? You have the optimal spatial & sensory positioning to know exactly what to expect & when? And maybe partly because of the control itself? You're in the driving seat (literally, in your last example), so know you have autonomy
Thank you for sharing your experience, I am Autistic too, but there is know one around me that understands me, know one around me I can talk too. So seeing a girl that understands these things gives me comfort. Shame l live 3000 miles away. I think the pain makes you stronger but you do get to a point when you have had enough and wish it all would stop. Ps I like fluorescent lights, in a workshop as nice and bright to see what your doing as long as there's no humming. But I can't stand the LED lights so bright to look at and dark shadows everywhere. Thank you.
One nice thing about autistic friendships is that distance is less of an obstacle as many of us do our socializing online instead of in person.🙂 It’s nice to know others out there can relate. Yes, sometimes with the pain I think “Ok! I’m strong enough now already” but I love being on this earth. Yes, LEDs are as bad as fluorescents to me if they’re not under a lamp shade
Thanks. I am just starting to reframe events in my life. Was recognised as autistic 7 years ago and fully diagnosed 2 yrs ago, and like you realise (apart from also having adhd) that it wasn't lots of separate things.
Thanks, it definitely help me out in general (having a big heavy day) and reflect on some of my own things in my life (also becoming more aware as an adult getting diagnosed how much it has affected me and played into my struggles. Thank you so much for sharing! (also new sub! looking forward to your other vids)
Goodness! So sorry you had such a hard time. I have literally met a couple women with your mannerisms. I liked them for their kindness and I don't know... they seemed like a good person worth knowing. It never occurred to me that they may have actually liked my company (I interpreted their mannerisms as them not being comfortable talking to me). Wow. This gets me thinking. I should have straight up asked them if they wanted to hang out? Although, that seems like such an odd question. It's so unspecific. How do you find out if an autistic person likes your company (friend-company) ?
Wow! That’s a good question. For me personally, I will avoid being in the presence of people whose company I don’t enjoy, so if I choose to be around someone, it generally means I like their company, even if I don’t say much. It’s usually bc I don’t know what to say. But I will be listening & observing. I wouldn’t think it odd if someone asked me to join them for coffee/tea. I’d definitely want them to be clear if their interest was more than friendly bc going on a date accidentally is embarrassing. 😆
So literally the exact same thing happened to me on my first date with my now husband. I was 16 and I had no idea what was going on. I started hyperventilating and having a panic attack so He kissed me and it somehow calmed me down 😂
Thank you for sharing your story. Doing so is the best way to raise a greater understanding about the multifaceted experiences of each individual. I wondered for a while now if my younger brother who has several recent mental health diagnosis does not in fact have autism. Well I do think some of his diagnoses are accurate, I feel that it might also explain some of his behaviors and thought patterns. Do you have any advice for adults trying to figure out whether or not a child’s emotional regulation difficulties/meltdown like outbursts are caused by burnout/sensory simulation/anger over lack of control over their environment?
Thank you for watching! I still have a lot to learn about autism and most of that has been learning how to manage as an autistic adult. I don’t have any experience with children, so I can only guess. It may be helpful to observe and take notes about the physical environment when he’s calm and content versus when he’s dysregulated. Note external stimuli like the lighting/electronics, noise levels, scents, how many people are around, maybe even food & clothing. See if there are any patterns. Hope that helps!
Also, thank God for sluggish boilers. I can't tell when something is either really hot or really cold. It's only by using relative assessments. I can tell, for example, when warm is getting hotter or colder. If water comes out of a faucet white hot - I won't know if it's white hot or icy cold. But, hey, it's really rare for this to happen. Is this not the same for everybody, though? It might not be a particularly autistic trait.
You look good. Yeap i have autism too and i had it more expressed after being 24 25. May be linked with my weed use previously. Kinda hard to feel stuff
Thanks! I sometimes find it difficult to feel things (or identity feelings) due to alexithymia, but mostly it’s just delayed. I think it may be a processing issue, that my brain often prioritizes processing information over emotions. It’s not that I don’t feel them but that processing is put on the back burner, if that makes any sense. That’s my theory with my own experience anyway.
@@Sensory0verlord yes. Were you always like this? When i was a kid i remember i was able to feel. Altough i went thru a major deprrssion for 7 years (that is long gone now) i feel mostly empty. I lost lots of friends. I think in pandemic i lost lots of social skills. I feel very isolated despite marrying recently. Btw nice wood stove. Ps: i had anhediona for around 2 years. And apathy (alexythima) for a bit longer like 3 4 years with the weed use. I dont use it any more it was in the past but it triggerer it for me... I have adhd ocd and probably autism too
@@Hi-levels I think it’s always been hard for me to identify feelings. I felt nervous/anxious a lot as a kid but less of that and more sad as an adult. I went through a depression during which an empty feeling was very noticeable. I find the more naturally I live and the better I care for my body, my mind tends to follow. I’m a sensory avoider who gets overwhelmed easily, so a lot of peace & quiet in nature is helpful to me. Then my emotions have a little time to process because I’m giving the brain time to buffer. I unknowingly unmasked during the pandemic & haven’t able to mask to the degree I did before. But I don’t see that as a bad thing.
OMG, those “silky” nightgowns with scratchy lace from the 80’s were my WORST nightmare when I was a kid!! Painful lace and that fabric was sticky feeling! Fake plastic-y satin. 😣
Those were terrible!!😖 I mostly slept in old tshirts & pajama pants because I couldn’t stand anything else. And I would tuck the bottoms of my pants legs into my socks so they’d stay put. (Bc them bunching up around my knees was a worse sensory experience than hot feet)
I'm past 50 and undiagnosed, but it still shocks me how badly the medical system has failed billions of people and it is still going on. Medical science seems like it's philosophically in some dark age. Not simply failing, but actively ending up with the worst possible mistakes. Just look at some of the weird things like gay conversion therapy, how something that evil was a thing... ABA using electroshock to FORCE masking on autistic people, the sickness in the people making up these solutions to being gay or autistic is one of the true evils in our world.
Agreed! Especially in the US where our medical system is for profit and mental health care seems to be a luxury item. It appears to me that the emphasis is on acquiring a long-term patient (customer) instead of preventing or curing illness.
I’ve found a blunt but somewhat tasteful way to let people know if they’re annoying me. If it’s a co worker who bursts into bouts of loud whistling I’ll just say “you’re hurting my ears man!” And they usually are ok with it. (They just don’t do it around me so much)
That’s a good way to respond! Funny thing- my boyfriend’s dog knows how to whisper-bark on command, so I’ve tried telling her to whisper when her barking hurts my ears. 😆 She gets treats when she does.
@@Sensory0verlord yes and I feel both sad and laughing. Its like… oh.. yeah😅🤣 Sending much love and healing to you. I really admire the authentic style of your video! ❤️
Well, when one visits a drinking hole - if a bingo session manifests then the lights tend to be turned up, anyway. Yes, I remember bingo in pubs.... Hateful. Complete effing mystery. And if you're not a boozer then it's impossible to dull the senses in preparation for all the horrors of the ensuing bingo session.
Hello. Thank you for your vlog. I totally relate to your experience. I'm interested to know how your brothers took your diagnosis because my brothers aren't at all interested, even though my diagnosis could possibly mean that they are autistic also.
@@eltrym One of mine doesn’t know yet as far as I know (we don’t talk very often, nothing personal, we just don’t feel the need.) The other just said, “Yeah, I think a lot of [our dad’s family] are.” They’re in their 50s with stable careers, etc. & not sure how much it matters to them.
@@Sensory0verlordYou say that a girl growing up in Alabama in the 80s wasn't gonna be considered for autism testing. Well, boys in New Jersey weren't considered either, unless they were nonverbal. Edit: I did see a specialist in Tourettes, but was not diagnosed as such.
So sorry that your parents were not sensitive enough to understand you. It hurts me when parents are so quick to pull out the belt and strike their children. [That] should be an {absolute} last resort and there {should be} better ways to deal with situations rather than using corporal punishment.
@@wendyhughes2234 Thank you for watching! Sometimes people will say that they were only doing what was done to them or what they were taught, but that’s no excuse. There are definitely better ways to handle things.
My boyfriend does the same thing with the speed. I have to read subtitles regardless of speed because auditory/sensory processing disorder. I wish we had those options in real life interactions! 🙂
You have Reynaud's syndrome, too? Who else, here has finger nails that go dark blue when they shiver (not, necessarily, feeling cold - but shivering - when I'm really cold they go red but shivering (or shuddering) turns them blue)?
@@batintheattic7293 Yes, I have it. It causes my hands & feet to go white & my fingernails & lips to go purplish blue not only when I’m cold but also when I get very stressed out (no matter the temperature). I’m also sensitive to heat.
ironically with your name and story, I had a bit of an overload with the sound of your stove, it's really aggressive. Overall I so get your story, and will give you all support, as a fellow autistic person, you might wanna edit the stove sounds out
Thanks for watching & for the input! I’m relatively new at this & have been winging it with the editing, but I’ll try to figure out how to remove it if possible. It’s funny that I thought to warn people about the tea sipping but forgot the stove, probably because slurping & chewing noises bother me so much.
I will forever resist my sensory Overlords! what the hell did i just say? Anyways, oh Jesus i saw/felt the bearhug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways, last week i figured out ..... jesus crist....are you trying to leave your body? I have to go....BRB.
I don’t think I’m trying to leave my body as *I* am a part of it. The “I don’t feel so good” scene from Avengers: Infinity War illustrates the feeling pretty well.
So Ive not felt that before. Stress causes you to leave your body. And a hug grounds you. I know all about stress OBE's. have you eve had an OBE? Heather O'Rourke showed up a few days ago. She just smiled. Coz she knew something. when i cross the eithers, I always bring something back. If you have insomnia, you might need a set of headphones or even noise cancelling headphones to allow your self to fully "break" from this reality and get proper sleep. that is what she knows....
@@gothboschincarnate3931 Not that I know of, but we may be experiencing the same thing physically and just have different ways of describing it or maybe different ways of processing it neurologically. I definitely feel the hug bringing me back together, so to speak, but I’d describe the neurological event as feeling like my atoms/particles separating rather than spirit leaving.
I’ve just begun to research that after seeing a TikTok about it. It sounds exactly like what happened to me with the hives as a kid! (And why I get itchy when I’m nervous as an adult)
@@Sensory0verlord yay, you just solved one big piece of the puzzle and maybe this knowledge can help you in future "mystery symptom explanation" ^^ Hugs from Germany!
Omg yes the way people dressed little girls in 80s, just terrible. I remember polyester plastic feeling frilly dresses & tights that were too small. I just wanted to cry but it wouldn't do me any good
Am i the only one who thinks its creepy that her date was basically studying her all night?! Something is just off there... Also I commented earlier & it disappeared 🤷♀️
Weird! I commented on a video a day or two ago & it disappeared. 🤔 But about the guy, I wasn’t sure if he just meant as in being attentive/showing interest & that my tells were really obvious or if it was creepy. Either way, it didn’t work out.
Actually, if someone specializes in a certain area, they just automatically notice things related to their area. I'm a massage therapist, and I can't help but notice posture and functional issues in how people move. Her date worked with special needs people, so he was already tuned in.
@@Sensory0verlord Wow. Thanks for this ultra personal story, Holly. I think I know what happened and why it didn't work out with bozo...I am really sorry again. 🫂 Dude WAS creepy. I swear, a similar thing happened to me decades ago, and you never forget it. I am glad you survived it this well; ie I suppose you now say/feel that the resultant depression later (as your collapse) was really diagnosed (additionally) as autistic burnout. Happy you got that clarity. I studied but didn't major in Comp.Sci too; left college for a job in it then went back to finish in other subjects. No longer wanted that life of overwork & far too late nights coming home. BTW, I am approx your age, too. 😊 Thanks for enough info so we could figure it out. I am the only good English speller in my team at work too, and finding the butchering of English grammar & spelling all over the internet much too painful these days. TY❤
@@MsLizziebeth1 Thanks for watching! ❤️ Being diagnosed with ASD was such a relief because it explains so much & knowing what‘s really going on leads to MUCH better results.😅 I actually ended up with a history degree because I just needed to finish with a degree & that was the quickest way. (Probably a little burnout back then too.) But the computer experience & classes paid off in the long run.
I dislike intensely this new fashion of saying "spill the tea". A mere decade ago it was still "spill the beans". Why did you have to twist the English ???! 🤬
@@Sensory0verlordwoops, it's you the video owner replying! Sorry. Didn't mean to post to you, I think? Lots of ppl say "tea" now. I now think it's from TikTokkers who invented "spill the T." As in the Truth! Now I get it. But it's still TikTok-irritating, although completely not your fault, dear. ***Truly sorry*** I ended up being so strident with you. Please forgive me. There are many more important things to talk about 😌🧡. 🫂😇
Grew up in late 60s 70s 80s. Diagnosed ASD couple years ago. Even now when hear autism think of bratty boy ???? So sad. Think still struggling w accepting dx. So so hard to swallow it and thinking how it was missed by parents and siblings. So so sad and I’m so tight. However wonder now are any family members afflicted w same and they are oblivious ??? 💔🥲💔🥲💞💙💞💙💞💙
I wonder the same about some of my family members, especially my dad. It would make a lot of sense. So little was known & even less understood about autism when we were children, it was easier to overlook. I’ve decided that I’m happy to have been late diagnosed. Better late than never in my case. So many things make more sense now that I know.
@@Sensory0verlord Not me. Been a n a tailspin/whirlwind before dx w triggers and physical maladies. Nevertheless. God is faithful and able 💞🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💞💙🙌🏻✝️🙌🏻✝️🙌🏻✝️
I was an 80s-90s teen, and even though I exhibited traits that would be identified as autistic today, no one thought that someone who could go to college and have a job could possibly be autistic.
One reason why I’m glad I wasn’t diagnosed back then is because of how completely misunderstood autism was. I probably had opportunities that I may not have had if I was simply because of people’s misconceptions.
Also, You would be probably destroyed by "therapists".
I was a teenager in the late 1970s through early 1980s. Back then the only meaning I knew for "autistic" was someone who is completely nonverbal and needs constant care. Except for one cousin, whom I was told was "a little bit autistic." I probably could have been diagnosed with Asperger's as a pre-teen, but I never was. And as far as I know, people didn't know about the possibility of being "twice exceptional."
@@MartinMCade Growing up I only knew about autism from Rainman. 🤦♀️ It was much later that I gained a more accurate view, and I’m still learning about all it really encompasses.
Same. Haven't gotten assessed, but all of this sounds familiar.
Thanks for sharing. I'm 75, identified as autistic in my 60s. The reframing...the reframing...
You’re very welcome, and thank you for watching!
I have spent the past 6 years meditating on past, present and future. due to a slight nervous breakdown. it has shown me where i came from, where im going...and how long i have to get there. March 19th, 2029. Time is short.
@@gothboschincarnate3931 Would you be comfortable sharing the significance of the date & what you hope to achieve by then?
I’ve just put that missing piece into the complex equation of my life experience. I always wondered why I struggled with things that others did not. How many times I have been told things like, “you shouldn’t think like that.” or been corrected for things that I feel are right to me. I was abused at a very young age in the worst imaginable ways. I was always bullied. Thinking back I never had a job that I didn’t get from someone helping in some way. I feel like i always come off as weird to people. I feel like the burnout cycle answers so many questions of why I have this pattern that I seem to live by. Things stress me out that shouldn’t. I’ve lost so many jobs due to anxiety reactions that I have. I tried to go to college a few times and it just never seemed to pan out. I like school and learning but never feel comfortable asking for help because I feel traumatized by being tormented by peers and teachers. I feel like a target for bullying even now in my 40s. I could go on and on. Autism feels like that magic word that actually explains and describes all the things that I couldn’t relay to anyone. I feel like my whole life has been hell in a way. So many abusive relationships, so many. But I’m a guy so it’s funny to most people. I cry about things that would get me called the f word(you know which one). Which I’m sensitive to because of abuse. Not only by mother’s poor choices but a few other times through childhood. This revelation has been such a rollercoaster. I’m questioning so much about everything. I don’t even know who I am because I have always just strived to make people believe I wasn’t weird and to like me. Masking is all I know. I’m internally combusting all the time. I feel your struggle and I hope you are doing well. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I’m so sorry for everything that you’ve been through! Someone described being late diagnosed autistic as discovering you’d been playing the game on hard mode when most were playing it on easy. As a gamer, that certainly made sense to me. I hope that your discovery helps you unmask & embrace your individuality. I’ve always known I was weird, but looking as what passes for “normal”, is that really a bad thing? Now I just try to do whatever makes me feel comfortable. I also felt very misunderstood before finding out I’m autistic, but hearing others’ experiences has helped with that. Thanks for watching! Hoping things get better for you!
I understand mate. Just keep working on it. It's all we can do.
"Thinking back I never had a job that I didn’t get from someone helping in some way." Yes.. And we often don't look back on our lives, for this particular clue, until very late in the game. It's so telling, isn't it.
You just articulated so much of what I'm feeling. I wish you well, and thank you for sharing your painful story 🙏
My autism stops me from explaining how I feel and how to articulate my experiences. Thanks so much for sharing. So much of your experience resonates with me.
That can be very frustrating! I can relate as it happens to me sometimes as well. Thank you for watching!
This is my experience as well. I can't seem to get any help or attention because I feel like a circus animal jumping through arbitrary hoops and I just can't. That's true for autism / mental health supports but also for GI or allergy issues. I'm self-identified but not diagnosed by the system; maybe that would help.
@@jamesrempel8522 I’m sorry you’re having trouble getting help! If you do decide to go the official diagnosis route, you may check with colleges/universities with psychology programs in your area. Sometimes they’ll do the assessment more quickly and cost effectively.
I didnt realise I was autistic until 52 years old ....I'm happy for you to now know yourself better , it is such a relief when we are diagnosed and explains our whole life back to us....its an incredible journey ----enjoy ---enjoy being you now
Thank you! I’m looking back & things make more sense & happy to move forward with a whole new perspective! 🙂
@@Sensory0verlord you''re welcome 😀 it is brilliant to finally make sense of our lives isn't it ...and feel like I'm living in light now going forward .....I'm happy for you to be understanding and looking forward to your new journey with a smile
Thanks for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you when you say you were given the belt for what you now know was a meltdown 😢 It's great that you've now got some answers. I'm also recently late diagnosed at 44.
I love your pun name too 👌😄
Thank you!😆 I’m glad I finally know what’s been going on my whole life! It doesn’t change the past, but it makes more sense now.
I had diagnosed at 47, have used last three years to find out more about my Autism. Am finding now in a positive way, that my life is starting to make sense and coming together. I have found a Therapeutic Counsellor who is trained in autism/ADHD, They are local to me and I will be contacting them in the near future. Autism can also be a gift. Thank you for sharing.
I believe it is a gift too, and probably the reason for my talents in art & music! As recently diagnosed, I’m just beginning to learn and already so much is starting to make sense.
I was diagnosed at age 47 as well! Just over a year ago. I see autism as more of a challenge right now. But it is a gift and a challenge.
Thank you for posting this. It's extremely interesting to hear other people's journeys
You’re welcome! And I agree! I find others’ experiences very interesting as well.
I have just received an ADHD diagnosis with a recommendation to go for ASD diagnosis. My psychologist had noticed strong cues suggesting I am on spectrum, and I scored strong positive on a screening test she made me do because of it. I relate to so many things you have just said, and I really appreciate that you did, even though it was clearly painful to talk about. Thank you so much!
For now, I am not sure I will go get an official diagnosis, since I see no real merit to it - I mean I already know that I am autistic, and I am grateful that finally so many things make sense to me. I went for ADHD test because I needed it to receive medication which would help. In my country it would make sense to get ASD diagnosis if I wanted to apply for some kind of annuities. But I don't need that. I think that the only merit would be to show my husband that my condition is not my make believe - he was skeptical about my ADHD diagnosis till the very end, until I had it on paper. It is sad for me when I try to explain things I have trouble with and he does not understand and say that I overreact...
Thank you for watching! There are pros & cons to getting an official diagnosis, with the only real cons for me being the wait and the cost. If you don’t need accommodations, etc. I can understand why not. Since I’m very sensitive to environmental stimuli, it’s helpful for me in case I need accommodations. I’m sorry your husband doesn’t understand. It can be hard, I know, getting people to understand that our nervous systems are wired differently & therefore respond differently than theirs. I hope he is willing to learn more about it.
I initially went in also for an ADHD diagnosis after years of coping (or having partners mediate the world for me), and two of the tests (over about 3 months of testing) I was like, “man, this gets me, I didn’t think anyone else thought like this” based on the questions it was asking. At the outbrief/diagnosis, the administrator said the tests I mentioned that were the ASD ones and sealed my ASD diagnosis. I did also get diagnosed with ADHD as well, as medication has really helped with both.
@@TheRiveners What medication were you given, may I ask? I have AuDHD. Maybe it would help me too.
I identify with many things you said.
I have suspected for a long time I’m on the autism spectrum.
I remember watching Castaway and confused why Tom Hanks wanted to commit suicide.
The island seemed so peaceful with no-one around.
I’m happy you found it relatable! I thought the same thing about Castaway. A pretty good situation other than the limited food options.
@Sensory0verlord
Yes only coconuts😂
I was a teenager of the 80s you the 90s you said.
For me I like not needed much attention from others socially (low maintenance)
Chatting on UT comments is mostly all I need and with safety boundaries🙂
I seem to love animals over people.
I notice many others humans so desperately need the ongoing attention of others to fill the void which sounds like so much
effort😔
But to much isolation can be unhealthy for the mind so I do try getting kick myself out the front door at times and get to my little bible study.
Today I see improved self-awareness as the key to feeling better in my own skin which has been my experience.
Sorry I’m trying not to ramble as I know you probably read many messages.
Ps. I’m dyslexic(note poor grammar) and I heard this is pretty common with people on the autism spectrum.
Take care
Your comment made me chuckle. When covid lockdown came my son and I (I think he is autistic as well) were happy to be locked up together. I understood why people would be lonely, but I didn't experience that at all
The Tom Hanks character in Castaway... Yes. I think I could tell he really needed what was anomalous to me. Yet, at the end, he wasn't happier to get it. He was not happy at the end of that film.
Also, I was hysterical when Wilson floated off.
Omg! I relate sooooo much to what you say! I was the girl who got friends by being talented in drawing in elementary school!!! I literally wrote this in my autism diagnosis life story for my assessment! I’m getting my official diagnostic next week but the doctor already confirmed my being on the spectrum! I was also the one who had what I thought were panic attacks in high school but now I understand that they are childhood meltdowns that changes into that as we hit teenage years! Mine were always blamed on my thyroid problems… so ya, hormones! Wow! It’s the first time I hear someone story so similar to mine! Thank you for sharing!
Oh and I’m a professional artist today 😁
So many things in common! I also went through a time when autoimmune hyperthyroidism became a suspect, but that went away on its own. (After I refused to have it removed).
It’s awesome that you’re a professional artist! 😃
I was a fairly low-masking middle class boy in suburban Denver about a decade behind you in age, and autism/Aspergers was never considered (though ADD was, and while not diagnosed at the time I did get an ADHD diagnosis a few decades down the road), so it's doubtful you would have been diagnosed even as a male in a more favorable situation. On the other hand, most of my sensory issues are undersensitivities, and I don't seem to have meltdowns (my worst panic attacks may be meltdowns, but they don't seem to really fit the profile). If I was melting down frequently, maybe I would have been more diagnosable in the 90s?
You’ve got me curious about whether people with hypo sensitivity have fewer meltdowns than those with hypersensitivity. If so, that could be one reason for a missed early diagnosis in hypo cases. For me personally, I’ve found that sensory overload is nearly always at the root of my meltdowns. I still have a lot to learn though.
@@Sensory0verlord Meltdowns aren't technically part of the diagnostic criteria, but I imagine they correlate with a higher likelihood that a child will be seen as needing help. It's hard to get diagnosed if there are few obvious struggles.
@@JonBraseeven now ADHD very much covers most known autistic traits, so its still a problem with underdiagnosing autistics who were firstly diagnosed with ADHD.
Also i see problem that many ADHD specialists starting to add autistic traits to ADHD and explaining everything with it, so actual even self diagnosis is much harder.
Fluorescent lights are my enemy.
Omg they’re so horrible! Especially when they flicker or buzz. 😖
@@bananas-01 I agree!! 💯
I have a flickering 1 in my apartment that is difficult to reach, it is not my friend
Me too, I thought this was “normal” and I realize that not everyone is affected by them.
Whoa. People have never commented on my blinking BUT people need to take maybe ten pictures of me to get one with my eyes fully open (as opposed to closed or transitioning between open & closed.) Never before did I connect it with my autism.
It makes sense that I'd blink a lot as a stim since no obvious stims were tolerated.
I’ve read that there’s a possible connection between saccadic eye movement & ASD. Blinking as a stim also makes sense, especially if other stims are suppressed.
I never noticed the connection with my raynauds and stress before. Thanks
My mum had Reynolds OCD heds 1:22 then severe ms I have asperger's ADHD heds j Sarno talks about Reynolds in his book right left of brain are you hypermobile I have fybromyalgia
You’re welcome!🙂 Thanks for watching
I’m hypermobile as well
@@Sensory0verlord seams all connected to the collegen do you have fybromyalgia
@@Truerealism747 No, never been diagnosed with that. I used to have a lot of random pain & feel lethargic, but cutting out meat & a lot of processed foods helped that for me.
This is exactly like me and I've been curious but cannot afford testing. Ive also been diagnosed as ADD in childhood. I am currently in burnout and and mask constantly and struggle with longstanding OCD. I find it interesting how when I used to have to mask and there was not much awareness of autism many years ago that I had to constantly have to act like others and respond like others to get heard that I learned to turn on or off reactions... But now that I'm away from toxic behaviors and I've been alone with myself and healthy relationships now I'm more sensitive to my sensitivities and loudness and I'm curious that if it's because I'm not used to being around such chaos that now I'm super sensitive or if I'm just really naturally super sensitive as I remember being through childhood. Maybe a little of both. Thank you for posting this video.
You’re welcome! If you live near a college or university with a psychology department, they may offer testing at a much lower cost than private practices. It’s worth looking into if you think a diagnosis could help you. I’ve also noticed my sensitivities resurfacing more in the last few years and haven’t figured out why yet, but this is still new to me and I have much to learn.
Thrilled that Ms Algorithm connected us! I've noticed in myself (and suspecting in other women) that after "a certain age" ie, hormone changes is the culprit for increased sensitivity 🤔
@@Sensory0verlord
My son and I love a play on words, puns. My son is PDA. I'm positive and identify with everything you've said.
I’m so happy to know there are other pun-loving people out there who can identify with my story! 🙂
I subscribed for the channel name alone haha, I'm still over here internally marveling at it
Thanks for watching! It started out as a typo or as Bob Ross would call it, a happy accident!😆
Relate to it all so much. Alot further down the path of life than you being nearly 60 and raising 5 kids with mant burnouts and confusion as to what my mental health struggles actually were. Brilliant knowing the reasons now but still seeking dx as it's still so isolating as husband, friends choose not to believe self dx or educate themselves about Autism. But super relieved we have the knowledge now.
I’m sorry about your husband & friends not being supportive! I hope they open up to the possibility & learn more about it and if an official diagnosis is what you want, that the process goes smoothly & quickly.
It must be really hard. You do know that a diagnosis doesn't alter what you are, though? The biggest hurdle is the one where you accept what you are. A diagnosis won't, necessarily, deliver that. And you are allowed to say, even to those closest to you, "No. It's either my way or the highway." Do that and watch how fast they learn to accommodate your needs. You don't even need to have, or give, a reason. At present it seems you are waiting for your loved ones to give you permission to be what you are. And I bet that a lot of the conflict comes down to fairly insignificant stuff, anyway. Aggregating into huge issues - probably quite small individually.
I could never understand why every relationship seemed to, at some stage, turn seriously antagonistic. Everybody I meet, eventually, starts habitually gain saying everything I do. It might be ME. I might be the common denominator. I, somehow, have been encouraging dissent and I fall into that role. I haven't had enough confidence in myself to just say, "I'm doing it my way - like it or lump it." And, just because you're autistic - it doesn't mean you're wrong.
55 years here, been diagnosed at 53. Relate very much to your story. Hope you get a better grip on life, I did
Thank you for watching! 🙂 I hope I do too.
I drew lots of pictures as well! I loved art of almost any kind. I got diagnosed a little over a year ago at age 47. I am hypermobile, have migraines and POTS.
Sounds like we have lots in common!
@@Sensory0verlord 👍
Your all over the place. I haven't had a headache in 24 years....
@@gothboschincarnate3931 Yes, I see you on many comment sections as well. Guess we both watch a lot of autism content.
I've noticed a lot of women on the autism spectrum get migraines. I do & when I tell people that my migraines have numerous triggers.... apparently most migraine sufferers have 1 trigger🤷♀️
I'm very grateful for your life story. It has helped me and will help many others. I'm in my '60's and just now discovering how all the bits from my past fit, on the spectrum.
Thank you for watching! It can be such a relief (mixed with a little grief) when make this discovery and everything just fits.
lmao ur name and "im very grateful"
So many similarities!! Thank you for sharing your experiences.
You’re welcome and thanks for watching! 🙂
One of the things I learned young was identifying who cared about eye contact, so a little subroutine that plays during every single conversation I have in my life is “do they want eye contact? Yes? Make eye contact.” And force myself to do it and try not to forget. Otherwise they think I’m not listening. It’s a relief when I talk to someone that also avoids eye contact, and I make a little note about their personality to look for other signs they’re “like me,” like openly debating on talking about a subject, stopping myself, oversharing, etc. It wasn’t until getting diagnosed a year and a half ago at 35 that I realized I’ve always been looking for signs of ASD lol
Sometimes I can force myself to make eye contact, but then I wonder if it’s too much.
Throughout my life there have been some people I just clicked with & would be able to talk to more easily. Now I realize that those people were most likely (a few confirmed) neurodivergent.
If You were diagnosed as a child, You would probably be sent on "therapy" to intensively teach You how to behave. They would definitely not help You.
Btw, what i heared from You, how intense lot of stimuli are for You, and that You draw a lot. If You consider "problems" with concentration and have lot of creativity, You can consider checking things about ADHD. It can help a lot if You have full view on Your neurotype.
Actually main thing, You should know You are ok as autistic. Its not any disorder, we are our own kind, with our rules and needs. World and society are disordered in many ways, that's why growing up in this world was a nightmare.
P.S. I love Your fireplace. Wish You very best
Yes, I’m glad I wasn’t diagnosed as a child because of the misconceptions and lack of information and resources back then, especially where I grew up.
I definitely don’t think negatively of being autistic. I’m happy with my brain & neurology. I almost feel bad for “normal” people because it seems like they’re missing out on so much. And you’re right- the world is disordered and a lot of “normal” things don’t make sense or they’re unhealthy.
Thank you, it was really helpful to hear your story. I've just found out I've been autistic all these years and there is a lot of reframing going on for me.
Thank you for watching! I’m glad it was helpful! 🙂 Things begin to make so much more sense when we make this discovery.
Going through very similar ❤
I hope everything is going OK & that you get the answers you’re looking for! ❤️
Yes the mind processes so much of past and reframes. The ah ha! 😅
Thank you Holly. Recent events in my life have made me realize I might be neurodivergent. Your video is very helpful.
@@j.evadostie8642 Thank you for watching!
Thank you so much for being open. I relate to a lot of what you said.
You’re welcome! My first thought is, I’m happy you can relate & then secondly I think, omg I hope whatever you can relate to wasn’t traumatic for you. 😆
@@Sensory0verlord living with Autism and ADHD without knowing till your older sure can be traumatic. I’ve worked through a lot and listening to others makes me feel like I’m not the only one- somehow that’s help more than anything.
That was very interesting and informative. Thanks for sharing it. I connected on many levels.
Thank you! Thanks for watching. 🙂
This is a really good video. I was also born in the 1980s and was diagnosed last year. This is very understandable. Thank you.
Thank you! And thanks for watching!🙂
Great video thanks for telling your story😀
Thank you!☺️
Yes! 56 now and 7 years since diagnosis, so I guess we're around the same age, plus I come from a rural area. I hate the deep pressure/hard hugs though.
45 & was assessed at 44. Still so much to learn! Not a fan of light hugs, but for whatever reason the deep pressure works for me. 🤷♀️
Thank you for sharing your experience! Mine honestly is so similar to yours, but I really like your insight.
You’re welcome! Thank you for watching! 🙂
Thanks for sharing this - you’re very brave and you’re doing great even if it doesn’t feel that way every day.
Thank you so much! 😊 And thanks for watching.
I would have a very heightened response whenever my parents were using a hammer nearby. I think they thought I was being overly dramatic. What it was like, though, was that every bang was a crunch for me. I'd, literally, get smaller and more compact with every bang. My teeth would grind in time. All my cranial bones would gnash together. I'd put my fingers in my ears and drop, cross legged, on the ground (and the hammerer might notice and roll their eyes - but carry on because they have a job to do) and with each blow I'd scrunch up more. Eventually, I'd be ordered outside before any hammering. I'm okay with wood saws (where you can hear each tooth and it's much more gentle and consistent). And I realised, the other day, that when I'm using a steel to sharpen a knife I can hear and feel the texture. I can hear and feel the little dinks and imperfections, in the blade, and I can detect the individual sounds of the bumps and grooves in the steel. Mind, hearing and feeling (for me) seem to have a massive overlap. I often can't tell which is more prominent.
Edit: But I CAN hammer. It's different when I'm doing it. Just like how I don't get quite so travel sick when I'm the driver.
Do you think that's because you're more prepared for the sensations when you're in control? You have the optimal spatial & sensory positioning to know exactly what to expect & when? And maybe partly because of the control itself? You're in the driving seat (literally, in your last example), so know you have autonomy
Thank you for sharing your experience, I am Autistic too, but there is know one around me that understands me, know one around me I can talk too. So seeing a girl that understands these things gives me comfort. Shame l live 3000 miles away. I think the pain makes you stronger but you do get to a point when you have had enough and wish it all would stop. Ps I like fluorescent lights, in a workshop as nice and bright to see what your doing as long as there's no humming. But I can't stand the LED lights so bright to look at and dark shadows everywhere. Thank you.
One nice thing about autistic friendships is that distance is less of an obstacle as many of us do our socializing online instead of in person.🙂 It’s nice to know others out there can relate. Yes, sometimes with the pain I think “Ok! I’m strong enough now already” but I love being on this earth. Yes, LEDs are as bad as fluorescents to me if they’re not under a lamp shade
Thanks. I am just starting to reframe events in my life. Was recognised as autistic 7 years ago and fully diagnosed 2 yrs ago, and like you realise (apart from also having adhd) that it wasn't lots of separate things.
Thanks for watching! Since this is a fairly recent discovery for me, I’ve still got a lot to learn. It’s all starting to make sense though.
Thanks, it definitely help me out in general (having a big heavy day) and reflect on some of my own things in my life (also becoming more aware as an adult getting diagnosed how much it has affected me and played into my struggles. Thank you so much for sharing!
(also new sub! looking forward to your other vids)
I’m happy it helped! Thanks for watching! 🙂
Thank you for this video. I am still learning about me at almost 70 years old.....
You’re welcome and thanks for watching! 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing 🫶
You’re welcome! 🙂
similar to mine. Thanks.
Goodness! So sorry you had such a hard time. I have literally met a couple women with your mannerisms. I liked them for their kindness and I don't know... they seemed like a good person worth knowing. It never occurred to me that they may have actually liked my company (I interpreted their mannerisms as them not being comfortable talking to me). Wow. This gets me thinking. I should have straight up asked them if they wanted to hang out? Although, that seems like such an odd question. It's so unspecific. How do you find out if an autistic person likes your company (friend-company) ?
Wow! That’s a good question. For me personally, I will avoid being in the presence of people whose company I don’t enjoy, so if I choose to be around someone, it generally means I like their company, even if I don’t say much. It’s usually bc I don’t know what to say. But I will be listening & observing. I wouldn’t think it odd if someone asked me to join them for coffee/tea. I’d definitely want them to be clear if their interest was more than friendly bc going on a date accidentally is embarrassing. 😆
Good point 😆
So literally the exact same thing happened to me on my first date with my now husband. I was 16 and I had no idea what was going on. I started hyperventilating and having a panic attack so He kissed me and it somehow calmed me down 😂
😆 I guess a surprising action like that can sometimes shock the nervous system out of its panicked state!
I'm looking at it now....in meditation....
What's the relaxing white noise in the background?
Just my heat pump! 😆 It was really cold that day & running continuously even with the fire.
@@Sensory0verlordThanks. Now I can look up heater pump sounds. This is so soothing!
I'm going through the same process now at 45
We’re the same age! Hope all goes well for you!
Thank you for sharing your story. Doing so is the best way to raise a greater understanding about the multifaceted experiences of each individual. I wondered for a while now if my younger brother who has several recent mental health diagnosis does not in fact have autism. Well I do think some of his diagnoses are accurate, I feel that it might also explain some of his behaviors and thought patterns. Do you have any advice for adults trying to figure out whether or not a child’s emotional regulation difficulties/meltdown like outbursts are caused by burnout/sensory simulation/anger over lack of control over their environment?
Thank you for watching! I still have a lot to learn about autism and most of that has been learning how to manage as an autistic adult. I don’t have any experience with children, so I can only guess. It may be helpful to observe and take notes about the physical environment when he’s calm and content versus when he’s dysregulated. Note external stimuli like the lighting/electronics, noise levels, scents, how many people are around, maybe even food & clothing. See if there are any patterns. Hope that helps!
Self discovery is great.
Yes it is!🙂
Also, thank God for sluggish boilers. I can't tell when something is either really hot or really cold. It's only by using relative assessments. I can tell, for example, when warm is getting hotter or colder. If water comes out of a faucet white hot - I won't know if it's white hot or icy cold. But, hey, it's really rare for this to happen. Is this not the same for everybody, though? It might not be a particularly autistic trait.
I don’t think I’ve experienced that exactly, but I do seem to be able to tolerate hot water better than a lot of people can.
You look good.
Yeap i have autism too and i had it more expressed after being 24 25. May be linked with my weed use previously. Kinda hard to feel stuff
Thanks! I sometimes find it difficult to feel things (or identity feelings) due to alexithymia, but mostly it’s just delayed. I think it may be a processing issue, that my brain often prioritizes processing information over emotions. It’s not that I don’t feel them but that processing is put on the back burner, if that makes any sense. That’s my theory with my own experience anyway.
@@Sensory0verlord yes. Were you always like this?
When i was a kid i remember i was able to feel. Altough i went thru a major deprrssion for 7 years (that is long gone now) i feel mostly empty.
I lost lots of friends. I think in pandemic i lost lots of social skills.
I feel very isolated despite marrying recently. Btw nice wood stove.
Ps: i had anhediona for around 2 years. And apathy (alexythima) for a bit longer like 3 4 years with the weed use. I dont use it any more it was in the past but it triggerer it for me...
I have adhd ocd and probably autism too
@@Hi-levels I think it’s always been hard for me to identify feelings. I felt nervous/anxious a lot as a kid but less of that and more sad as an adult. I went through a depression during which an empty feeling was very noticeable. I find the more naturally I live and the better I care for my body, my mind tends to follow. I’m a sensory avoider who gets overwhelmed easily, so a lot of peace & quiet in nature is helpful to me. Then my emotions have a little time to process because I’m giving the brain time to buffer.
I unknowingly unmasked during the pandemic & haven’t able to mask to the degree I did before. But I don’t see that as a bad thing.
❤happy for you!😊
Thank you!! 😊
❤
OMG, those “silky” nightgowns with scratchy lace from the 80’s were my WORST nightmare when I was a kid!! Painful lace and that fabric was sticky feeling! Fake plastic-y satin. 😣
Those were terrible!!😖 I mostly slept in old tshirts & pajama pants because I couldn’t stand anything else. And I would tuck the bottoms of my pants legs into my socks so they’d stay put. (Bc them bunching up around my knees was a worse sensory experience than hot feet)
I'm past 50 and undiagnosed, but it still shocks me how badly the medical system has failed billions of people and it is still going on.
Medical science seems like it's philosophically in some dark age. Not simply failing, but actively ending up with the worst possible mistakes. Just look at some of the weird things like gay conversion therapy, how something that evil was a thing... ABA using electroshock to FORCE masking on autistic people, the sickness in the people making up these solutions to being gay or autistic is one of the true evils in our world.
Agreed! Especially in the US where our medical system is for profit and mental health care seems to be a luxury item. It appears to me that the emphasis is on acquiring a long-term patient (customer) instead of preventing or curing illness.
My wait was three months and I find out the results tomorrow... eek!
@@RovingReader 😮 That’s exciting! May the Force be with you!
I’ve found a blunt but somewhat tasteful way to let people know if they’re annoying me. If it’s a co worker who bursts into bouts of loud whistling I’ll just say “you’re hurting my ears man!” And they usually are ok with it. (They just don’t do it around me so much)
That’s a good way to respond! Funny thing- my boyfriend’s dog knows how to whisper-bark on command, so I’ve tried telling her to whisper when her barking hurts my ears. 😆 She gets treats when she does.
I will sometimes say, "I can't really have a conversation with all the commotion going on." If you say it calmly, no one ever minds.
I just realized it 2 weeks ago myself.
Was diagnosed with BPD.
Im neurodivergent yes and it makes so much sense 😂❤
It’s such a feeling of relief when it all comes together! 🙂
@@Sensory0verlord yes and I feel both sad and laughing. Its like… oh.. yeah😅🤣 Sending much love and healing to you. I really admire the authentic style of your video! ❤️
@@MIOLAZARUS I can totally relate. 😆 Sending the same to you! Thank you! ☺️
Are you in Canada or USA? Because knowing this makes a difference.
@@Fireflyinamayonaisejar I’m in the US. I imagine the evaluation & diagnosis process & wait time is different for each.
Well, when one visits a drinking hole - if a bingo session manifests then the lights tend to be turned up, anyway. Yes, I remember bingo in pubs.... Hateful. Complete effing mystery. And if you're not a boozer then it's impossible to dull the senses in preparation for all the horrors of the ensuing bingo session.
@@batintheattic7293 I’m not much of a boozer & was not prepared for the horrors of bingo! And yes, I do remember the lights seemed bright.
Hello. Thank you for your vlog. I totally relate to your experience. I'm interested to know how your brothers took your diagnosis because my brothers aren't at all interested, even though my diagnosis could possibly mean that they are autistic also.
@@eltrym One of mine doesn’t know yet as far as I know (we don’t talk very often, nothing personal, we just don’t feel the need.) The other just said, “Yeah, I think a lot of [our dad’s family] are.” They’re in their 50s with stable careers, etc. & not sure how much it matters to them.
@@Sensory0verlordYou say that a girl growing up in Alabama in the 80s wasn't gonna be considered for autism testing. Well, boys in New Jersey weren't considered either, unless they were nonverbal.
Edit: I did see a specialist in Tourettes, but was not diagnosed as such.
@@NJGuy1973 Probably a lot of people growing up in the 80s were overlooked considering how little they knew about it & the misconceptions then.
@@Sensory0verlord We've been called the Lost Generation of autistics.
So sorry that your parents were not sensitive enough to understand you. It hurts me when parents are so quick to pull out the belt and strike their children. [That] should be an {absolute} last resort and there {should be} better ways to deal with situations rather than using corporal punishment.
@@wendyhughes2234 Thank you for watching! Sometimes people will say that they were only doing what was done to them or what they were taught, but that’s no excuse. There are definitely better ways to handle things.
I’m listening to this at 1.75 speed… slow is sensory overload for me
My boyfriend does the same thing with the speed. I have to read subtitles regardless of speed because auditory/sensory processing disorder. I wish we had those options in real life interactions! 🙂
You have Reynaud's syndrome, too? Who else, here has finger nails that go dark blue when they shiver (not, necessarily, feeling cold - but shivering - when I'm really cold they go red but shivering (or shuddering) turns them blue)?
@@batintheattic7293 Yes, I have it. It causes my hands & feet to go white & my fingernails & lips to go purplish blue not only when I’m cold but also when I get very stressed out (no matter the temperature). I’m also sensitive to heat.
ironically with your name and story, I had a bit of an overload with the sound of your stove, it's really aggressive.
Overall I so get your story, and will give you all support, as a fellow autistic person, you might wanna edit the stove sounds out
Thanks for watching & for the input! I’m relatively new at this & have been winging it with the editing, but I’ll try to figure out how to remove it if possible.
It’s funny that I thought to warn people about the tea sipping but forgot the stove, probably because slurping & chewing noises bother me so much.
I will forever resist my sensory Overlords! what the hell did i just say? Anyways, oh Jesus i saw/felt the bearhug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways, last week i figured out ..... jesus crist....are you trying to leave your body? I have to go....BRB.
I don’t think I’m trying to leave my body as *I* am a part of it. The “I don’t feel so good” scene from Avengers: Infinity War illustrates the feeling pretty well.
So Ive not felt that before. Stress causes you to leave your body. And a hug grounds you. I know all about stress OBE's. have you eve had an OBE? Heather O'Rourke showed up a few days ago. She just smiled. Coz she knew something. when i cross the eithers, I always bring something back. If you have insomnia, you might need a set of headphones or even noise cancelling headphones to allow your self to fully "break" from this reality and get proper sleep. that is what she knows....
@@gothboschincarnate3931 Not that I know of, but we may be experiencing the same thing physically and just have different ways of describing it or maybe different ways of processing it neurologically. I definitely feel the hug bringing me back together, so to speak, but I’d describe the neurological event as feeling like my atoms/particles separating rather than spirit leaving.
hearts are nice...
Read up on mast cell activation syndrome in autistic folks - it's a thing and explains a lot about allergies etc.
I’ve just begun to research that after seeing a TikTok about it. It sounds exactly like what happened to me with the hives as a kid! (And why I get itchy when I’m nervous as an adult)
@@Sensory0verlord yay, you just solved one big piece of the puzzle and maybe this knowledge can help you in future "mystery symptom explanation" ^^ Hugs from Germany!
@@laura5425 Thank you! 😊
Without the title of this video I could have diagnosed you from the first 15 seconds...
Now that I’m learning more about ASD, it does seem a bit obvious.
Omg yes the way people dressed little girls in 80s, just terrible. I remember polyester plastic feeling frilly dresses & tights that were too small. I just wanted to cry but it wouldn't do me any good
Luckily my grandmother made most of my dresses out of cotton, but the elastic & lace & the frilly slips & underskirts were awful. And those tights…😖
Am i the only one who thinks its creepy that her date was basically studying her all night?! Something is just off there... Also I commented earlier & it disappeared 🤷♀️
Weird! I commented on a video a day or two ago & it disappeared. 🤔 But about the guy, I wasn’t sure if he just meant as in being attentive/showing interest & that my tells were really obvious or if it was creepy. Either way, it didn’t work out.
Actually, if someone specializes in a certain area, they just automatically notice things related to their area. I'm a massage therapist, and I can't help but notice posture and functional issues in how people move. Her date worked with special needs people, so he was already tuned in.
@@christinapankey7360 That makes sense to me & that was more the vibe I got from him, that he simply was attuned to it, therefore read the signs.
@@Sensory0verlord Wow. Thanks for this ultra personal story, Holly.
I think I know what happened and why it didn't work out with bozo...I am really sorry again. 🫂 Dude WAS creepy.
I swear, a similar thing happened to me decades ago, and you never forget it. I am glad you survived it this well; ie I suppose you now say/feel that the resultant depression later (as your collapse) was really diagnosed (additionally) as autistic burnout. Happy you got that clarity.
I studied but didn't major in Comp.Sci too; left college for a job in it then went back to finish in other subjects. No longer wanted that life of overwork & far too late nights coming home.
BTW, I am approx your age, too. 😊 Thanks for enough info so we could figure it out.
I am the only good English speller in my team at work too, and finding the butchering of English grammar & spelling all over the internet much too painful these days. TY❤
@@MsLizziebeth1 Thanks for watching! ❤️ Being diagnosed with ASD was such a relief because it explains so much & knowing what‘s really going on leads to MUCH better results.😅 I actually ended up with a history degree because I just needed to finish with a degree & that was the quickest way. (Probably a little burnout back then too.) But the computer experience & classes paid off in the long run.
I dislike intensely this new fashion of saying "spill the tea". A mere decade ago it was still "spill the beans". Why did you have to twist the English ???! 🤬
It’s all a bit silly. If I’d been eating beans I probably would’ve said spill the beans, but alas, I was drinking tea.
@@Sensory0verlordwoops, it's you the video owner replying! Sorry. Didn't mean to post to you, I think? Lots of ppl say "tea" now. I now think it's from TikTokkers who invented "spill the T." As in the Truth! Now I get it. But it's still TikTok-irritating, although completely not your fault, dear.
***Truly sorry*** I ended up being so strident with you. Please forgive me. There are many more important things to talk about 😌🧡. 🫂😇
@MsLizziebeth1 No worries! Nothing to forgive! 🙂
@@Sensory0verlord 💟🥰
the date guy is really gross.
We were definitely incompatible.😬 At least that experience gave me some clues that helped put me on the path to getting my diagnosis.
@@Sensory0verlord ive got my fingers crossed for you, sweetheart. be happy and be yourself.
@@kirstinline Thank you! 😊
Well that's punny nice of you I can be a real punster also since I have autism
Puns are fun! 🙃
Grew up in late 60s 70s 80s. Diagnosed ASD couple years ago. Even now when hear autism think of bratty boy ???? So sad. Think still struggling w accepting dx. So so hard to swallow it and thinking how it was missed by parents and siblings. So so sad and I’m so tight. However wonder now are any family members afflicted w same and they are oblivious ??? 💔🥲💔🥲💞💙💞💙💞💙
I wonder the same about some of my family members, especially my dad. It would make a lot of sense. So little was known & even less understood about autism when we were children, it was easier to overlook. I’ve decided that I’m happy to have been late diagnosed. Better late than never in my case. So many things make more sense now that I know.
@@Sensory0verlord Not me. Been a n a tailspin/whirlwind before dx w triggers and physical maladies. Nevertheless. God is faithful and able 💞🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💞💙🙌🏻✝️🙌🏻✝️🙌🏻✝️