But husband had been around them saying that and was ok with being friends with them for *all that time* ...he didn't mind.WHY? And his retaliation is doing the same to another woman. How foul. They are all misogynists who were judging their wives against each other like objects, YIKES! Op needs to leave their husband.
It’s like they were egging on the husband to talk shit about his love life like they were teenage boys in a locker room. They sound like they peaked in high school.
It goes both ways with beauty. My ex-wife was beautiful, everyone told her daily. She was a stunner, but as the years of entitle, narcissistic, Diva behavior past, she became hideous to me. When we separated all my friends would say "Dude how can you let a 10 go", I just replied "It took me years to realize that beauty is truly skin deep, I wish my own shallowness hadn't cost me years of misery!"
It took me years to understand why there are people who clearly didn't choose for the looks. Someone who is not that attractive in comparison to their partner. You want a partner in crime, a peaceful life... not having a trophy that will take the life away from you day by day. After a while the appearance is not so relevant. This is why I can understand people in their age crisis dating really young people for the looks....
@The beauty of it all Dude... I can see your dating life must suck as much as mine, we are one of those people who are awful at choosing partners. I acknowledge that that there are good men out there but I don't have good filters. What do you think it would happen if I decided that all men were like the guys I've dated? I would probably think the same as you but for men. Get yourself fixed and get help to learn why you are dating people who remind you of the people who are close to you? are all the same? I realized that I dated guys who were abusive and stepped on my boundaries because that's what my family used to do. I didn't notice and you still haven't. Being single is not the end of the world but keep tormenting yourself over dating in your state of mind is worse. You can't be misogynist or misandrist without hating humans as a whole, this is you just being bitter because you keep dating shitty people and making them the portrait of half of the human race. PS: Stop with the age gaps and life will be better.
There's a difference between being beautiful and being attractive. Attraction is a lot more complex, and a person finds you attractive for a lot to reasons, not least who you are and how you carry yourself. A man can know that his wife is not conventionally pretty and still find her attractive and even beautiful
@@velvetdarksoul8741 That's cool! As long as you are happy and you are doing the things that make YOU happy, then that is what matters. No matter what you look like, you still deserve to be appreciated, loved, cared for, and just overall treated with basic human decency. Hope you are doing good and staying safe!
I really liked the first story. I was sad she thought that of herself because well, society sucks, but I’m glad he treats her like a king should treat his queen. She is one lucky girl as Betty Boop said about Jessica Rabbit being married to Roger Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. He wasn’t conventionally good looking but he made her laugh and got one of the most beautiful women in cartoon history to be his wife just because of personality.
Exactly. I saw that as a child and had a light bulb moment. It paved the way for what I look for in a partner. It's not a look, it's a person, and would I enjoy that person? Can they make me laugh? Can they make me smile? Can they make me feel loved and cherished? That's what I look for. My first crush I had in school? Was by far the ugliest guy my parents ever saw, no one could understand it, but I fell for them because he was easy to talk to. He made me laugh and smile. I felt safe with them. He moved away and nothing ever came of my crush. But it's just the kind of person I am. I hope to find an amazing partner like the OP from the first story.
@@nobinary2296 Awww, that is too sweet! Honestly, it's like you and I are the same person, haha. As an adult and when I was a child, I have always crushed on different types of looking people. From the "pretty" to the "ugly", it simply didn't matter to me. If they made me laugh and smile (and treated me with basic human respect and didn't make me suffer through bullying like others did) then you were the sun to me, lol. I have even had different people throughout my life straight up tell me to my face that I had weird or bad tastes just because THEY didn't find my crush(es) to be good looking. Lmfao, like who cares what you think, Felicia?! Are you me? No? I didn't think so, boo boo. 😁
This so reminds me of my husband, I love that you brought this up in reference to this story. My husband was that type of guy. I had always dated handsome jocks, but the relationships were fairly terrible. We looked like we belonged together, sure, but it never felt right. Then I met my husband and I swear I had a Roger Rabbit moment. He wasn’t athletic, he wasn’t a classic hunk-but goshdammit he made me laugh and treated me like Roger did Jessica. Wrote me the cheesy love letters, treated me like an absolute princess, gave me thoughtful little gifts, crazy romantic gestures, wrote and played me songs on his guitar, called me his little baby-the whole nine yards. He once literally starved himself for a week trying to afford a little sapphire/diamond ring for me and he couldn’t afford to buy both rent/food and that ring-so he went without food without my knowing it. He didn’t tell me, but I noticed he wasn’t well and was growling in his tummy a lot-so I fed him at my house when he was there. I didn’t know why until years later when he admitted what he did (he ate only bread and a jar of jelly my grandma gave him) to afford that ring to give me-and it wasn’t even an engagement ring or there was no occasion for it like a birthday or something. We were barely legal adults just out of school so money was tight back then. But anyway I know the feeling of loving someone who is more than just outwardly conventionally attractive, even though I never would have called him ugly but he wasn’t my usual type of guy. Some people are so much more than the sum of their outward parts-they shine from within, radiating warmth and happiness. People are just drawn to them regardless of what they look like outwardly. Like flowers turn towards the sun-people turn to people like my husband because the energy that they put out is so happy, funny, and positive that it feeds the soul to be near them. It just proves that there are better things than beauty in this world, all of the superficial beauty in the world cannot make someone a better person inside that makes the world a better place simply because they are in it. (Husband was a volunteer fire fighter and ambulance emt for years and saved lives, so he really did help the world without taking a dime for doing it-just out of the goodness of his heart).
Had one of the pretty girls call me ugly in high school,. She expected me to cringe, get mad or cry. I did none of those things. Instead I just smiled and said, 'I may be ugly in YOUR opinion, but YOUR ugly on the inside and everyone knows it. Also, beauty fades an in a few years, your outside will match your inside.'
@@jakemarie828 Agreed, but without more info, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt in regards to his E.Q. - his I.Q. is clearly lower than he thinks it is😆
First story: I feel for OP. I think her husband was just angry and blurted out the wrong words. He was saying OP isn't conventionally attractive; there's more to attractiveness than JUST physical appearance. He loves the whole package, NOT just the surface features. Of course we'd all love our partners to find us both physically and emotionally attractive, but TRUE partnerships don't differentiate between the two.
Additionally, if he started insisting she is beautiful he would sound insincere and vulnerable thus inviting more mockery. When people attack your weak spot you retort with "yeah, so?" and immediately go on the offensive like in this case. And yeah, I know my take is bizarre and insensitive.
Yeah. I find that some people get more beautiful the more you get to know them. Even if it's a person you weren't attracted to prior, them being a good person can really change your opinion about their level of attractiveness.
@@breshia4687 I was married a long time. Physically, we both changed a lot over the 29 years we were together, as evidenced by the photographs I have. I never not once ever thought she was anything but beautiful. Even when she was ravaged with cancer in her last days of life, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever known. Beauty is so much deeper than what you see.
Nah, people don't just burst out with "look I know she's ugly but..." and it not be their genuine opinion. That's not saying he doesn't love her and people's personalities can make them more attractive over time or less attractive for the same reason, but, he certainly seemed to have meant exactly what he said.
Love the first story. Also really great to see a husband with a blinding shiny spine to his friends dissing his loved one. Hope your husband finds better friends, because after that, regardless of an apology, i wouldnt want them around me anymore.
I hope she can find a better husband, one who DOES find her attractive, and who will NOT lie to her, or use her for free sex, and free housework. 'Husband' will cheat, then run off, with the first woman he DOES find attractive. I hope she can divorce this lowlife as soon as possible.
First story, despite a quite sweet story, OP need to gain more confidence. Her insecurities seemed quite fragile and someday, if she's not over it, that feeling will creep up again and become big issue
Exactly. I don't understand why people will say something negative about themselves then someone else says the same thing their feelings are hurt. I tell my daughter if she says she is ugly, dumb etc to other people she can't be hurt when they say it too because that is what she is telling them. Also it is nobody else's responsibility but hers to feel confident and good about herself.
SO you blame her for the fact that her husband called her ugly, and has lied to her for heaven knows how long? He never fancied her, or loved her, he strung her along, and you blame HER?
@@tardislady9546 I think you should be able to distinguish between blaming and preventive measure. This is not a blame game (please stop that. It's not solving problem). It's about consequences of things and action. Healthy trust is a foundation in relationship, either trust in self or in partner. I've seen my mom's insecurities bordering paranoia affect negatively to family and my siblings. Please note that every reddit stories are from OP's subjective perspective, so people can read underlying/untold issues on OP to some degree. Always look deeper.
@@zitronentee Contrary to your assumption, non-Americans are not thick. This man lied to his wife. He called her 'ugly'. He does not love her, or respect her. He is using her, for free laundry, free housework, and free meals. He will be cheating, as he does not fancy her, and will not have sex with her, or touch her, or be affectionate. He will leave her for the first woman he DOES fancy. I hope she can be free of him soon, to find someone who does love he, and does fancy her.
Growing up being told you’re ugly and everytime you look at the mirror, you realize that it’s true in its most basic objective aspect digs a deep abscess into your soul. Hearing those confirmative words from your most beloved, who for once in your life made you feel desired, even if phrased with good intention can really put the wounds widely open. Just stay strong OP.
First Story: I feel like it was a slip of sorts, as I remember that when people are mad their brains will shortcut. This can either result in them admitting to something they wouldn't normally, or cause them to say something they never believed. Like imagine if someone constantly heard their friends say that X is a B*, so even if they don't believe it they may say that "if X is a B then what does that make you girls". Second Story: Steve was on a power trip, like a massive one. Even my boss when I was a temp worker didn't say that I had to come in when I was sick on any call outs.
I feel it was meant to be partly sarcastic as well as throwing his friends words back at them. Since they complained about their own romantic issues and since It's husband made no complaints on his relationship, they attacked for the only flaw they perceived. And he simply tossed the word they used as well as the "flaws" they admitted.
Oh I could relate fully to story 1. Ugly, not girly girl yet somehow I have managed to get husband. Who calls me sexy, adorable and perfect for him. Someone who kisses me every night before sleep and first thing in the morning. For nearly 15 yrs. Glad OP has catch like this as well!
Sadly because with tinder guys who are a 8 to a 10 will sleep with any girl it makes women like you reject us guys who are good looking but don't care about our partners conventional looks.
@@perfectchemistry8291 I probably didn't communicate that well, but basically alot of women now have unreasonable expectations. Expecting a man to earn 6 figures, be 6foot tall have a house and new car and not have children while 60 to 70% of women above 30 have a child. And they always say the kid comes first, they come second so you are always third in there lives. The issue with what they want career and earnings, house and car wise means that he's nearing 40. And that's most women I met dating. Also when surveyed women expected their partner to earn 35% to 50% more than them. Well there is no wage gap in america or most of the western world. Next we shouldn't call poor quality mental "nice guys" the men that cry as to why no women will date them when they do nothing to improve themselves to be undateable to those who do not have unrealistic expectations due to dating apps, Disney movies (romantic movies in general)and society. To me the only thing that's important is can my partner hold a conversation. That's all I expect and I was lucky to find one that can hold a conversation in 4 languages and is the same height as me and I am a mini giant. The thing about more homely girls is they are freaking awesome partners. They like to actually have fun because they aren't afraid to break a nail,caring/loving partners and do not cheat.
@@cedric3973 I fail to see how you having an issue with the women you are dating has anything to do with @Duckeh. Despite the clearly stated fact that she has been married for 15 years, you decided to declare that women like her reject guys like you because other guys will sleep with any girl? Sorry but I don't see how that claim makes any sense. She's married. She isn't dating anyone, let alone rejecting guys like you. What do "tinder guys" have to do with @Duckeh sharing a story about her and her husband? Nothing. What does your personal experience on dating apps have to do with @Duckeh sharing a story about her and her husband? Nothing. Yet you decided to co-opt her story anyway to share your personal experience all while blaming women like her for it. That's big niceguy energy. Also, the actual studies on the subject show a proven wage gap between men and women even when working the same job under the same circumstances i.e. experience and qualifications. "The controlled gender pay gap, which controls for job title, years of experience, education, industry, location and other compensable factors, measures equal pay for equal work. The controlled pay gap has also decreased since 2015, but only by $0.01. Women in the controlled group make $0.98 for every $1.00 a man makes, meaning that women are still making less than men even when doing the exact same job." That gap sounds small but in reality, it equates to tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars more that a man makes over the course of their career for doing the exact same job as a woman. Those are the facts. www.payscale.com/data/gender-pay-gap. I'm always happy to cite my sources. I'd be interested to see yours considering I couldn't find any when Googling this claim- "when surveyed women expected their partner to earn 35% to 50% more than them."
Ahahahahaha! I love your Steve voice, LG! 🤣 Made me laugh! That first story hit home with me. My husband is the absolute best. He knows me so well. A few weekends ago, he spent the weekend with his male family members, gaming, and when he was on his way home, he considered getting me flowers, but was like, nah, what she'd like is food. So, he brought me home my favorite fast food. He told me this, and I gave him a big thumbs up and said, "You know me so well." Yes, I did prefer food over flowers. It meant I didn't have to cook. 🤣
I feel for OP! Someone insults your wife you kick them out of your house and out of your life! “I know she’s ugly.” What a fool! But there must be something about her that first attracted him and keeps him with her! Love the voice LG!
He very well could have kicked them out of the house. She hid in a shower for an hour. When she came out the guys were gone. Much earlier than normal. She needs to talk to her husband, about everything that happened that night.
He wants his meals cooked, and his washing done, and the house cleaned, for free. That's why he married her. He never loved her, or fancied her, or cared about. I hope she can be free of the creep.
I've noticed that people become more or less attractive to me the more I get to know him. People that aren't considered conventionally attractive can be much more attractive the longer you know them. And the opposite where a "pretty" person ends up being...well...ugly to me.
Yes I’ve known some people I thought were unattractive at first meeting them. But after getting to know them and learning that they are a good and kind people makes them a lot more attractive. Both men and women. So personality does really go a long way.
1) OP, that's so sad that you heard your husband say that and it hurt you. There is more to beauty than what is considered conventionally attractive and he obviously found that in you. Do talk to your husband, let him know you accidentally overheard what was said, and how hurt you were by his saying you were ugly. He did marry you, he says he is happy because of you, and he defended you, focus on that. After update: OP, glad you spoke up and now have a better understanding of how much your husband loves you and wants to support you. You have a wonderful marriage, enjoy your trip together. 2) Nice to have a doctor on your side against an officious, obnoxious manager. Good for the duty manager and union helping you and Steve getting what he deserved. Hope you enjoyed your paid 2wks off.
The first story made me kinda sad but I’m glad that it had a happy ending! And home the OP in the story can continue to be a badass in the face of society’s stupid beauty rules.
I too consider myself to be very ugly. Multiple people have not to subtly told me the same. It's one of my biggest fears that whoever I end up with will only be with me for my bubbly character which I have forced myself to develop as a result of my lackluster looks. Story 1 resonated so much with me, and I feel her pain.
You don’t need to worry about that. If someone chooses to be with you then they know how you look. It’s ok then if it’s manipulative and wouldn’t be your fault. It might suck but all betrayal sucks. Don’t be down on yourself for something outside of your control.
I feel bad for her too. No one wants to hear their spouse say they're ugly, especially in front of friends who think so too. He definitely didn't mean to say it, but sometimes you can't unheard something. I would always think about it especially when we hang around cuter women. Some people are saying she needs to have more self esteem. That is bull. No matter how much self esteem you have, when you hear someone who love say ugly things about you, you will crack just because you care.
The moment OP directly calls herself ugly and unattractive my heart broke. One only sees themselves as how they hear other people talk and see them. If her husband would tell her she’s beautiful, at least how pretty or cute she is every day or often enough, she would see herself in that light.
If your idea of attractiveness and beauty are the same, you haven't evolved on an intellectual level, even when it comes from a person who loves you. But I believe the husband is a good person.
I think it's hilarious that "You're not supposed to go to the doctor if you're ill." Like, how do you get a proper diagnosis and/or prescription for treatment, so that you can get better, if you don't see the doctor, while you're ill?
Funny thing there ....... if/when I ever called my doctor's office because I was sick and needed a doctor note, he would insist that I come in. The concept of "don't come into the office if you are sick" is ludicrous. Oh, they office staff would always tell me to come in at 4 pm to be seen at the end of the day, cuz he would always be finished with patients by 4 and that last hour in the office was reserved for folks who were not feeling well.
It's more "come when you're fever is not killing you" you can pass out on the street with high fever. Better stay at home and beat the fever to the point you can walk without feeling like your dead lol
Damn... The first story is... Hard. Her husband does love her though. Also, no offense, but some people aren't physically beautiful. I wish people would stop telling people there is no such thing because it's damaging. That doesn't determine someone's value though. That's the real problem.
Definitions of physical beauty change over time though. A lot of what was considered the epitome of beauty in many ancient cultures would be considered ugly or even scary now.
@@seleneyue you just confirmed that we'd think it'd be ugly tho. Just because someone wouldn't have been ugly 100 years ago doesn't mean the lived reality they experience daily doesn't matter, they're still ugly. If there's a consensus on what's ugly at that moment then this is the current truth. And the consequences are far more important than something as abstract as the fact that beauty standards change or sth. Saying something like that doesn't really make ugly people feel better you're just reminding them of how unwelcome their looks are in their actual current life.
@@mjrhmekssh But there's not a consensus tho? Women are attracted to a wide variety of men, and while men have a narrower range, it's still a lot wider than people like to admit. Also different styles play a big part; what is gorgeous/attractive to one person might seem butt ugly to another. And what's the benefit to telling people that they're ugly other than putting them down? Clothes and attitude make up a huge part of what makes someone attractive, and part of telling someone that they're beautiful is to help build up their confidence. Idk, it really feels like you're just making up excuses to be a dick to people
I once had something similar happen like the 2nd story. I was working retail and our store was going through managers and temporary managers. This was the 2nd manager since I started working there. I was supposed to work a closing shift (afternoon - night), but I woke up so sick that I knew it wouldn't be possible to deal with work and customers as I was (it was bad). I called in and new manager just kind of brushed me off and made it sound like I had to come in anyway. At this point, I had witnesses to how awful and sick I was feeling, but I went to the store. At the store was the new manager and possible higher up. I got more reactions to how bad (sick) I looked, and then new manager tried to brush it off as he didn't know I was that sick and that he didn't mean it, etc. I think he was just trying to cover himself to not appear bad. I was allowed to go home. He didn't stay much longer. Supposedly he just tossed the keys to an employee (later assistant manager) and left (quit). Our next manager was a favorite of mine and way better.
First Story: It shouldn’t matter what anyone says about your appearance but your partner, but what does OP's husband say about her? His actions speak louder than that. Second Story: Steve didn't realize his bosses would see him flexing his power, but they did.
Honestly in story # 1: the husband was way TOO passive in allowing his "friends" to call his SO ugly for as long as they did. He should have shut them up the first time. Granted he did stand up for her, but he should have been doing that from the beginning. He knew that she was insecure about her looks. I know that we all say things in anger that we do not mean, but to call your SO ugly, even though you are trying to defend them, is something that you will pay for for the rest of your life. That comment will always be there in your SO's mind and can cause more problems for her(for clarity as I am Male). Can she honestly accept you telling her that she is beautiful in your eyes? I don't know..
Oof, first story. It's like he defended my honor, but destroyed me at the same time. Advidly too. It reminds me of the story where the guy had to let go of his wife because she admitted she didn't find him attractive but was happy with him. Oh boy...
It's sad, but it really seems that he loves her a whole lot, but sees past her looks. He's not looking at her physical appearance but the her as a whole. I find that admirable, but I cant blame the girl for being hurt about that at the same time. I've heard of stories where all we want is someone who'll accept us as we are, and when we get that, great, but it doesn't change our appearance. I'd say he was frustrated with his friends and it just came out, but I dont doubt that he sees you, op, as anything less than beautiful in his eyes. Unattractive doesn't equal unlovable. If anything, I feel for those attractive people in relationships, cause there's always the underlying thought of, are they only with me because of my looks and what if my features wane? Beauty is one hell of an insecurity on both sides.
Btw, if I was in her situation I probably would've brought it up in a jokingly way and how he'd respond we'd go from there. But I dont think she has anything to worry about~
S1 was so beautiful. It sounds like they're both wonderful people and that they have a model relationship. I hope that someday I find a relationship was amazing as theirs
I've often heard stunning, sweet-hearted women say they wish they knew if someone loved them for themselves, and not just their looks. Because looks fade with age and they'd hate to have wasted their life with someone who just ups and leaves them because someone better looking came along. I bet it happens to some guys, too.
I love the sick leave story. I hate so much that it's legal in the US to force someone with a bad flu or mono to drag themselves to the doctor's and pay for a doctor's appointment just to get a single day of unpaid leave. That headache is why I went freelance.
That husband needs extra hugs. That was more than awesome. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏Those friends were jealous of OP's husband. They were jealous of the good husband and wife relationship they had going. So the "friends" had to attack OP. This is a good example of misery loves company.
Story 1: "I know she's ugly." Wow, that's not the way you start defending your partner. OP's partner needs new friends if all they do is complain about their partners, so negative. Self-confidence is attractive, rather than physical appearance. The partner sees who she really is but may have ruined the relationship with his comment. These conversations almost never go as expected, you plan everything out and then, when in the moment people forget all of it and it comes out another way if at all. Good for the partner for cutting off his friends. The holiday was a nice surprise as well. Story 2: Good doctor, lousy boss.
I was married to my ex for 10 years and undergoing cancer treatment when I accidentally learned that my husband told his friend that I was ugly without hair.
If it were me, I might tell my spouse I heard and was hurt by that comment. My knee-jerk reaction to negatives is to figure out a way to change things. If you are happy with how you appear, you are well-adjusted and a part of a small portion of women today. The entire beauty industry is based on women’s lack of self-worth. I joined a swim team and a gym. I removed my uni-brow, lost weight, and toned myself up. I no longer care what others think or say. I’m happy with the improvements I have made! It is all up to you and what you make of yourself. Only do what you WANT to do. You are enough just as you are.
A good friend of mine married a homely woman n I mean stop in your tracks ugly, but ya know what he's 1of the few couples that are still married and truly happy n that's what matters, she is adored by all of our friends and excepted!
I've known several people who, while not being overly attractive according to society, are some of the most beautiful people I've ever met. And some that are physically attractive are the ugliest people I've ever met. True beauty comes from within. After all, beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. Second story, I've been that sick before. It is no fun. Both ends at the same time. My husband found me in the bathroom on the floor with my hand in a barf bucket. I don't know if I had passed out or just fallen asleep. He got me cleaned up the best he could, then got me back to bed. I ended up at the ER because I was dehydrated.
It sounds like OP’s husband, in the moment wasn’t choosing his words very well, and yeah, that shit hurts. I am glad that they talked about it though, because he does sound like an amazing man who unfortunately is also human, and has some *very* terrible ‘friends’.
There is a difference between being beautiful and being attractive. Yes, your spouse should see you as attractive, but nothing says that they have to see you as beautiful. There are plenty of beautiful people who absolutely make my skin crawl. There are also men whom I find attractive (I like 'em short, go figure) whom other women wouldn't not date.
Considering how our brains short circuit when we are angry, how we “forget to engage brain before mouth is in drive”, I’d bet he meant to say something like “I know *you* think she’s ugly”. He might even think that’s what he did say.
It's not shallow wanting to be pretty...I don't think anyone wants to be unattractive. Even when you're not doing it to attract other people, it's nice to be attractive for yourself...
What a lovely story is the first one. She must be awesome as her hubster surely is. Pity she cannot see that in herself, I hope he boosted her esteem througj the roof, she deserves that. Oh that Steve guy, don't you just love when big headed bullies get their comeuppance lol 🤢🤓
This is gonna be controversial opinion but 1st story: I don't deny that Op's husband clearly loves her, its just hard to believe that if someone is genuinely attracted to his wife, thinks of her as beautiful in his eyes, then his knee-jerk reaction wouldn't be the very specific phrase "I know she's ugly", that sounds like something you say after you've thought about it, repeatedly. I dunno maybe I'm too cynical. That being said I think they have a good marriage that has the potential to last because it's based on the emotional chemistry more than the physical
She was not part of the conversation and he could’ve said “I know you think she is ugly” or something of that nature. Eavesdropping (even unintentionally) can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. Open communication should be encouraged and valued.
She probably is "ugly" though. (I obviously mean by conventional standards). There are so many things worse in the world than being "ugly" though. And I guess I wonder what the big deal is if the husband does think his wife is ugly.
I mean... did everyone just gloss over that while seemingly in private where supposedly nobody could hear them, in a moment where he could let his guard down and be his real self, 1st OP's husband chose to call his friends out for their dickish behavior and got genuinely angry at how they treated OP? He has genuine integrity, and has clearly chosen his partner with his whole heart and soul.
He let his guard down, and revealed his true feelings. He lied to OP for heaven knows how long, and thought that a few copy pasted words, and a holiday ('vacation' in the American language) would make her forget his betrayal. He will run off with the first woman he does find attractive. I hope she can cancel the 'vacation', receive a refund, and use the money for a good divorce solicitor ('lawyer' in the American language)
Personally, I try to meet with people on their level when we have an argument. If someone uses a specific word or phrase in the argument, I make the effort to use the same thing in the same way to help them understand why I disagree.
Man that first story gave me all the feels. I actually know this one from both sides, being a genderqueer woman and short and fat. I'm demi so attraction for me is kind of weird anyway but when I first met who became one of the greatest loves of my life I thought "wellp, not much to look at but eh, unimportant." Thing is, as time went on and he became more dear to me, I noticed more and more details about the way he looked that made him just a beautiful person who I genuinely enjoyed looking at. That never dimmed, though we're no longer together romantically I will always count him as someone with both inner and outer beauty and screw what anybody says. The whole package of a person's external looks may or may not meet someone's aesthetic preferences on first blush, but when you know them over time you notice all those little things, like the way the light catches the bridge of their nose or a quirk of their smile, a turn of their head, the way they use their hands when they make a cup of tea, whatever. OP has nothing to worry about, the love is strong here. But I also know what it is to feel like the ugliest bitch in the puppy pile, not to put too fine a point on it. The whole story made me so happy tbh. There is still love and joy in the world!
Leasten up ever one there is no such thing of ugly or untrackful people we are all beautiful in our own ways have a blessed day and may god help you all have a nice day
The last story reminds me of the story of the brother and sister that got put into therapy and grounded for opening up about how they hated their step mom bc their dad moved on so fast and forced them to accept her with giving them time to grieve their mom
Beauty and attractiveness really is relative, and not just about looks... I remember thinking how if I had crossed paths with my bf I wouldn't have checked him out, he wasn't originally the type of person I would've considered hot, but as I got to know him, he started to become incredibly attractive. His mannerisms, his gestures, his intellect, his little smiles. I've been with him for 8 years and counting, high school sweethearts, and the years have only made him so much more incredibly hotter
First story: The husband's so-called friends should never be allowed to cross their threshold again. What garbage people.
But husband had been around them saying that and was ok with being friends with them for *all that time* ...he didn't mind.WHY? And his retaliation is doing the same to another woman. How foul. They are all misogynists who were judging their wives against each other like objects, YIKES! Op needs to leave their husband.
It’s like they were egging on the husband to talk shit about his love life like they were teenage boys in a locker room. They sound like they peaked in high school.
@@velvetdarksoul8741 yeah it's women who need to do that🙄🙄🤦🤦
It goes both ways with beauty. My ex-wife was beautiful, everyone told her daily. She was a stunner, but as the years of entitle, narcissistic, Diva behavior past, she became hideous to me. When we separated all my friends would say "Dude how can you let a 10 go", I just replied "It took me years to realize that beauty is truly skin deep, I wish my own shallowness hadn't cost me years of misery!"
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
@The beauty of it all You’ve been hanging out with the wrong women.
It took me years to understand why there are people who clearly didn't choose for the looks. Someone who is not that attractive in comparison to their partner. You want a partner in crime, a peaceful life... not having a trophy that will take the life away from you day by day. After a while the appearance is not so relevant. This is why I can understand people in their age crisis dating really young people for the looks....
@The beauty of it all Dude... I can see your dating life must suck as much as mine, we are one of those people who are awful at choosing partners. I acknowledge that that there are good men out there but I don't have good filters. What do you think it would happen if I decided that all men were like the guys I've dated? I would probably think the same as you but for men. Get yourself fixed and get help to learn why you are dating people who remind you of the people who are close to you? are all the same? I realized that I dated guys who were abusive and stepped on my boundaries because that's what my family used to do. I didn't notice and you still haven't. Being single is not the end of the world but keep tormenting yourself over dating in your state of mind is worse. You can't be misogynist or misandrist without hating humans as a whole, this is you just being bitter because you keep dating shitty people and making them the portrait of half of the human race.
PS: Stop with the age gaps and life will be better.
@@mkuti-childress3625 hes just an incel
There's a difference between being beautiful and being attractive. Attraction is a lot more complex, and a person finds you attractive for a lot to reasons, not least who you are and how you carry yourself. A man can know that his wife is not conventionally pretty and still find her attractive and even beautiful
This. My SO is way better looking than I am, but I got swooned them with my mad yugioh skills lol
Maybe some woman can look attractive on the outside, but ugly on the inside . Beautiful on the inside is what counts these days !!!
@@purpledragon2442 I challenge you to a duel for your so and loser goes to the shadow realm I'll play fish icejade turbo
@Gi Gi Soooo trueeee! Also, Mama Cleo was quite the heartthrob, so she was most definitely doing something right, lol.
@@velvetdarksoul8741 That's cool! As long as you are happy and you are doing the things that make YOU happy, then that is what matters. No matter what you look like, you still deserve to be appreciated, loved, cared for, and just overall treated with basic human decency. Hope you are doing good and staying safe!
In the famous words of Drax “It’s a good thing to be ugly. Because when you’re ugly you know when someone really loves you for you.”
Unless its the money
💯 exactly
To quote one Alucard (Hellsing abridged version) "Its like your ugliness curated their shittiness."
You know? That's true? But it still hurts when someone or people look at you and hurt your feelings. Everyone wants to be liked.
Yeah, but no one is okay with being called ugly.
I really liked the first story. I was sad she thought that of herself because well, society sucks, but I’m glad he treats her like a king should treat his queen. She is one lucky girl as Betty Boop said about Jessica Rabbit being married to Roger Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. He wasn’t conventionally good looking but he made her laugh and got one of the most beautiful women in cartoon history to be his wife just because of personality.
He is also incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful person be his wife. That's a very adorable relationship and I wish I was friends with them
Exactly. I saw that as a child and had a light bulb moment. It paved the way for what I look for in a partner. It's not a look, it's a person, and would I enjoy that person? Can they make me laugh? Can they make me smile? Can they make me feel loved and cherished?
That's what I look for. My first crush I had in school? Was by far the ugliest guy my parents ever saw, no one could understand it, but I fell for them because he was easy to talk to. He made me laugh and smile. I felt safe with them. He moved away and nothing ever came of my crush. But it's just the kind of person I am.
I hope to find an amazing partner like the OP from the first story.
@@nobinary2296 Awww, that is too sweet! Honestly, it's like you and I are the same person, haha. As an adult and when I was a child, I have always crushed on different types of looking people. From the "pretty" to the "ugly", it simply didn't matter to me. If they made me laugh and smile (and treated me with basic human respect and didn't make me suffer through bullying like others did) then you were the sun to me, lol. I have even had different people throughout my life straight up tell me to my face that I had weird or bad tastes just because THEY didn't find my crush(es) to be good looking. Lmfao, like who cares what you think, Felicia?! Are you me? No? I didn't think so, boo boo. 😁
This so reminds me of my husband, I love that you brought this up in reference to this story. My husband was that type of guy. I had always dated handsome jocks, but the relationships were fairly terrible. We looked like we belonged together, sure, but it never felt right. Then I met my husband and I swear I had a Roger Rabbit moment. He wasn’t athletic, he wasn’t a classic hunk-but goshdammit he made me laugh and treated me like Roger did Jessica. Wrote me the cheesy love letters, treated me like an absolute princess, gave me thoughtful little gifts, crazy romantic gestures, wrote and played me songs on his guitar, called me his little baby-the whole nine yards. He once literally starved himself for a week trying to afford a little sapphire/diamond ring for me and he couldn’t afford to buy both rent/food and that ring-so he went without food without my knowing it. He didn’t tell me, but I noticed he wasn’t well and was growling in his tummy a lot-so I fed him at my house when he was there. I didn’t know why until years later when he admitted what he did (he ate only bread and a jar of jelly my grandma gave him) to afford that ring to give me-and it wasn’t even an engagement ring or there was no occasion for it like a birthday or something. We were barely legal adults just out of school so money was tight back then. But anyway I know the feeling of loving someone who is more than just outwardly conventionally attractive, even though I never would have called him ugly but he wasn’t my usual type of guy. Some people are so much more than the sum of their outward parts-they shine from within, radiating warmth and happiness. People are just drawn to them regardless of what they look like outwardly. Like flowers turn towards the sun-people turn to people like my husband because the energy that they put out is so happy, funny, and positive that it feeds the soul to be near them. It just proves that there are better things than beauty in this world, all of the superficial beauty in the world cannot make someone a better person inside that makes the world a better place simply because they are in it. (Husband was a volunteer fire fighter and ambulance emt for years and saved lives, so he really did help the world without taking a dime for doing it-just out of the goodness of his heart).
Had one of the pretty girls call me ugly in high school,. She expected me to cringe, get mad or cry.
I did none of those things.
Instead I just smiled and said, 'I may be ugly in YOUR opinion, but YOUR ugly on the inside and everyone knows it. Also, beauty fades an in a few years, your outside will match your inside.'
Story 1: I'm certain he loves her and is definitely attracted to her, but his choice of the word Ugly, was a brain fart.
@@jakemarie828 Agreed, but without more info, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt in regards to his E.Q. - his I.Q. is clearly lower than he thinks it is😆
First story: I feel for OP. I think her husband was just angry and blurted out the wrong words. He was saying OP isn't conventionally attractive; there's more to attractiveness than JUST physical appearance. He loves the whole package, NOT just the surface features. Of course we'd all love our partners to find us both physically and emotionally attractive, but TRUE partnerships don't differentiate between the two.
Additionally, if he started insisting she is beautiful he would sound insincere and vulnerable thus inviting more mockery. When people attack your weak spot you retort with "yeah, so?" and immediately go on the offensive like in this case.
And yeah, I know my take is bizarre and insensitive.
Yeah. I find that some people get more beautiful the more you get to know them. Even if it's a person you weren't attracted to prior, them being a good person can really change your opinion about their level of attractiveness.
@@Ichishi5 it worked in 8mile. But I’ve always done the same thing and no one I know will argue with me.
@@breshia4687 I was married a long time. Physically, we both changed a lot over the 29 years we were together, as evidenced by the photographs I have. I never not once ever thought she was anything but beautiful. Even when she was ravaged with cancer in her last days of life, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever known. Beauty is so much deeper than what you see.
Nah, people don't just burst out with "look I know she's ugly but..." and it not be their genuine opinion. That's not saying he doesn't love her and people's personalities can make them more attractive over time or less attractive for the same reason, but, he certainly seemed to have meant exactly what he said.
Story 1: Gave me the feels. Good for OP's husband for standing up for her, not once, but twice!
Story 2: HA! Good on the doctor!
Love the first story. Also really great to see a husband with a blinding shiny spine to his friends dissing his loved one. Hope your husband finds better friends, because after that, regardless of an apology, i wouldnt want them around me anymore.
I hope she can find a better husband, one who DOES find her attractive, and who will NOT lie to her, or use her for free sex, and free housework. 'Husband' will cheat, then run off, with the first woman he DOES find attractive. I hope she can divorce this lowlife as soon as possible.
@@invisible123-l9ddid you post this on the wrong video?
the first post really made me cry
her calling herself ugly is just heartbreaking
The first story is hard to understand and hard to swallow.
It's probably the only story i've ever actually felt the same pain as the person in it.
First story, despite a quite sweet story, OP need to gain more confidence. Her insecurities seemed quite fragile and someday, if she's not over it, that feeling will creep up again and become big issue
Exactly. I don't understand why people will say something negative about themselves then someone else says the same thing their feelings are hurt. I tell my daughter if she says she is ugly, dumb etc to other people she can't be hurt when they say it too because that is what she is telling them. Also it is nobody else's responsibility but hers to feel confident and good about herself.
SO you blame her for the fact that her husband called her ugly, and has lied to her for heaven knows how long? He never fancied her, or loved her, he strung her along, and you blame HER?
@@tardislady9546 I think you should be able to distinguish between blaming and preventive measure. This is not a blame game (please stop that. It's not solving problem). It's about consequences of things and action.
Healthy trust is a foundation in relationship, either trust in self or in partner. I've seen my mom's insecurities bordering paranoia affect negatively to family and my siblings.
Please note that every reddit stories are from OP's subjective perspective, so people can read underlying/untold issues on OP to some degree. Always look deeper.
@@zitronentee Contrary to your assumption, non-Americans are not thick. This man lied to his wife. He called her 'ugly'. He does not love her, or respect her. He is using her, for free laundry, free housework, and free meals. He will be cheating, as he does not fancy her, and will not have sex with her, or touch her, or be affectionate. He will leave her for the first woman he DOES fancy. I hope she can be free of him soon, to find someone who does love he, and does fancy her.
Growing up being told you’re ugly and everytime you look at the mirror, you realize that it’s true in its most basic objective aspect digs a deep abscess into your soul.
Hearing those confirmative words from your most beloved, who for once in your life made you feel desired, even if phrased with good intention can really put the wounds widely open. Just stay strong OP.
Agreed
That doctor is a legend! 😂😂
'Chemistry' is more compelling than how your face is arranged.
That first story made me feel like I was cutting onions.
First Story: I feel like it was a slip of sorts, as I remember that when people are mad their brains will shortcut. This can either result in them admitting to something they wouldn't normally, or cause them to say something they never believed. Like imagine if someone constantly heard their friends say that X is a B*, so even if they don't believe it they may say that "if X is a B then what does that make you girls".
Second Story: Steve was on a power trip, like a massive one. Even my boss when I was a temp worker didn't say that I had to come in when I was sick on any call outs.
I feel it was meant to be partly sarcastic as well as throwing his friends words back at them. Since they complained about their own romantic issues and since It's husband made no complaints on his relationship, they attacked for the only flaw they perceived. And he simply tossed the word they used as well as the "flaws" they admitted.
Here's hoping "Steve" never has kids, he'd likely act the same way with them and school.
Oh I could relate fully to story 1. Ugly, not girly girl yet somehow I have managed to get husband. Who calls me sexy, adorable and perfect for him. Someone who kisses me every night before sleep and first thing in the morning. For nearly 15 yrs.
Glad OP has catch like this as well!
Sadly because with tinder guys who are a 8 to a 10 will sleep with any girl it makes women like you reject us guys who are good looking but don't care about our partners conventional looks.
@@cedric3973 Wow you sound like such a niceguy
@@perfectchemistry8291 I probably didn't communicate that well, but basically alot of women now have unreasonable expectations. Expecting a man to earn 6 figures, be 6foot tall have a house and new car and not have children while 60 to 70% of women above 30 have a child. And they always say the kid comes first, they come second so you are always third in there lives. The issue with what they want career and earnings, house and car wise means that he's nearing 40. And that's most women I met dating. Also when surveyed women expected their partner to earn 35% to 50% more than them. Well there is no wage gap in america or most of the western world.
Next we shouldn't call poor quality mental "nice guys" the men that cry as to why no women will date them when they do nothing to improve themselves to be undateable to those who do not have unrealistic expectations due to dating apps, Disney movies (romantic movies in general)and society.
To me the only thing that's important is can my partner hold a conversation. That's all I expect and I was lucky to find one that can hold a conversation in 4 languages and is the same height as me and I am a mini giant.
The thing about more homely girls is they are freaking awesome partners. They like to actually have fun because they aren't afraid to break a nail,caring/loving partners and do not cheat.
@@cedric3973 I fail to see how you having an issue with the women you are dating has anything to do with @Duckeh. Despite the clearly stated fact that she has been married for 15 years, you decided to declare that women like her reject guys like you because other guys will sleep with any girl? Sorry but I don't see how that claim makes any sense. She's married. She isn't dating anyone, let alone rejecting guys like you. What do "tinder guys" have to do with @Duckeh sharing a story about her and her husband? Nothing. What does your personal experience on dating apps have to do with @Duckeh sharing a story about her and her husband? Nothing. Yet you decided to co-opt her story anyway to share your personal experience all while blaming women like her for it. That's big niceguy energy.
Also, the actual studies on the subject show a proven wage gap between men and women even when working the same job under the same circumstances i.e. experience and qualifications. "The controlled gender pay gap, which controls for job title, years of experience, education, industry, location and other compensable factors, measures equal pay for equal work. The controlled pay gap has also decreased since 2015, but only by $0.01. Women in the controlled group make $0.98 for every $1.00 a man makes, meaning that women are still making less than men even when doing the exact same job." That gap sounds small but in reality, it equates to tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars more that a man makes over the course of their career for doing the exact same job as a woman. Those are the facts. www.payscale.com/data/gender-pay-gap. I'm always happy to cite my sources. I'd be interested to see yours considering I couldn't find any when Googling this claim- "when surveyed women expected their partner to earn 35% to 50% more than them."
Ahahahahaha! I love your Steve voice, LG! 🤣 Made me laugh!
That first story hit home with me. My husband is the absolute best. He knows me so well. A few weekends ago, he spent the weekend with his male family members, gaming, and when he was on his way home, he considered getting me flowers, but was like, nah, what she'd like is food. So, he brought me home my favorite fast food. He told me this, and I gave him a big thumbs up and said, "You know me so well." Yes, I did prefer food over flowers. It meant I didn't have to cook. 🤣
Confession68, You and your husband sound awesome! :)
@@LostGenre, thank you! 😁
I feel for OP! Someone insults your wife you kick them out of your house and out of your life! “I know she’s ugly.” What a fool! But there must be something about her that first attracted him and keeps him with her!
Love the voice LG!
He very well could have kicked them out of the house. She hid in a shower for an hour. When she came out the guys were gone. Much earlier than normal. She needs to talk to her husband, about everything that happened that night.
I assume you commented before listening to the whole story and update.
He wants his meals cooked, and his washing done, and the house cleaned, for free. That's why he married her. He never loved her, or fancied her, or cared about. I hope she can be free of the creep.
First story: Man that husband is great at earth bending
Oh honey...I'm ugly too but looks are only skin deep and looks fade but a good heart and being a good person doesnt...love xxxx
I've noticed that people become more or less attractive to me the more I get to know him. People that aren't considered conventionally attractive can be much more attractive the longer you know them. And the opposite where a "pretty" person ends up being...well...ugly to me.
Yes I’ve known some people I thought were unattractive at first meeting them. But after getting to know them and learning that they are a good and kind people makes them a lot more attractive. Both men and women. So personality does really go a long way.
@@tippytoe1250 Same with me, haha.
When your ugly and someone still loves you you know they love for who you are. - Guardians of the Galaxy
Love how these stories start out how wonderful their spouses is, then comes the but, but but😂🤣
1) OP, that's so sad that you heard your husband say that and it hurt you. There is more to beauty than what is considered conventionally attractive and he obviously found that in you. Do talk to your husband, let him know you accidentally overheard what was said, and how hurt you were by his saying you were ugly. He did marry you, he says he is happy because of you, and he defended you, focus on that.
After update: OP, glad you spoke up and now have a better understanding of how much your husband loves you and wants to support you. You have a wonderful marriage, enjoy your trip together.
2) Nice to have a doctor on your side against an officious, obnoxious manager. Good for the duty manager and union helping you and Steve getting what he deserved. Hope you enjoyed your paid 2wks off.
The first story made me kinda sad but I’m glad that it had a happy ending! And home the OP in the story can continue to be a badass in the face of society’s stupid beauty rules.
Story one, wow what a wonderful husband
So glad about how the first story ended! 👏
I too consider myself to be very ugly. Multiple people have not to subtly told me the same. It's one of my biggest fears that whoever I end up with will only be with me for my bubbly character which I have forced myself to develop as a result of my lackluster looks. Story 1 resonated so much with me, and I feel her pain.
You don’t need to worry about that. If someone chooses to be with you then they know how you look. It’s ok then if it’s manipulative and wouldn’t be your fault. It might suck but all betrayal sucks. Don’t be down on yourself for something outside of your control.
Man, everyone needs someone like first story husband as their spouse
Talking about husband goals
Beauty is freaking subjective and not everyone sees the same.
I love when a post has a happy ending. I can't help but smile when it happens.
That first story genuinely makes me feel bad for this girl.
I feel bad for her too. No one wants to hear their spouse say they're ugly, especially in front of friends who think so too. He definitely didn't mean to say it, but sometimes you can't unheard something. I would always think about it especially when we hang around cuter women. Some people are saying she needs to have more self esteem. That is bull. No matter how much self esteem you have, when you hear someone who love say ugly things about you, you will crack just because you care.
The moment OP directly calls herself ugly and unattractive my heart broke. One only sees themselves as how they hear other people talk and see them. If her husband would tell her she’s beautiful, at least how pretty or cute she is every day or often enough, she would see herself in that light.
If your idea of attractiveness and beauty are the same, you haven't evolved on an intellectual level, even when it comes from a person who loves you. But I believe the husband is a good person.
You can be the most beautiful gem-like fruit on the outside, but if you're rotten on the inside you'll just make people sick
I think it's hilarious that "You're not supposed to go to the doctor if you're ill."
Like, how do you get a proper diagnosis and/or prescription for treatment, so that you can get better, if you don't see the doctor, while you're ill?
Funny thing there ....... if/when I ever called my doctor's office because I was sick and needed a doctor note, he would insist that I come in. The concept of "don't come into the office if you are sick" is ludicrous. Oh, they office staff would always tell me to come in at 4 pm to be seen at the end of the day, cuz he would always be finished with patients by 4 and that last hour in the office was reserved for folks who were not feeling well.
It's more "come when you're fever is not killing you" you can pass out on the street with high fever. Better stay at home and beat the fever to the point you can walk without feeling like your dead lol
I'm crying! What an awesome story ❤️ I love to see good things happen for good people, and I'm so thrilled for a happy ending to these
That first story made me feel so warm and restored some faith in humanity 😊
Thats just heartbreaking
Loved you calling the manager in the 2nd story teeny tiny. I lol'd at work
LG, your explanation was one of the most beautiful explanations I have come across. Thank you.
Damn... The first story is... Hard. Her husband does love her though. Also, no offense, but some people aren't physically beautiful. I wish people would stop telling people there is no such thing because it's damaging. That doesn't determine someone's value though. That's the real problem.
Definitions of physical beauty change over time though. A lot of what was considered the epitome of beauty in many ancient cultures would be considered ugly or even scary now.
@@seleneyue you just confirmed that we'd think it'd be ugly tho. Just because someone wouldn't have been ugly 100 years ago doesn't mean the lived reality they experience daily doesn't matter, they're still ugly. If there's a consensus on what's ugly at that moment then this is the current truth. And the consequences are far more important than something as abstract as the fact that beauty standards change or sth. Saying something like that doesn't really make ugly people feel better you're just reminding them of how unwelcome their looks are in their actual current life.
@@mjrhmekssh But there's not a consensus tho?
Women are attracted to a wide variety of men, and while men have a narrower range, it's still a lot wider than people like to admit. Also different styles play a big part; what is gorgeous/attractive to one person might seem butt ugly to another.
And what's the benefit to telling people that they're ugly other than putting them down? Clothes and attitude make up a huge part of what makes someone attractive, and part of telling someone that they're beautiful is to help build up their confidence.
Idk, it really feels like you're just making up excuses to be a dick to people
I once had something similar happen like the 2nd story. I was working retail and our store was going through managers and temporary managers. This was the 2nd manager since I started working there.
I was supposed to work a closing shift (afternoon - night), but I woke up so sick that I knew it wouldn't be possible to deal with work and customers as I was (it was bad). I called in and new manager just kind of brushed me off and made it sound like I had to come in anyway. At this point, I had witnesses to how awful and sick I was feeling, but I went to the store.
At the store was the new manager and possible higher up. I got more reactions to how bad (sick) I looked, and then new manager tried to brush it off as he didn't know I was that sick and that he didn't mean it, etc. I think he was just trying to cover himself to not appear bad. I was allowed to go home.
He didn't stay much longer. Supposedly he just tossed the keys to an employee (later assistant manager) and left (quit). Our next manager was a favorite of mine and way better.
First Story: It shouldn’t matter what anyone says about your appearance but your partner, but what does OP's husband say about her? His actions speak louder than that.
Second Story: Steve didn't realize his bosses would see him flexing his power, but they did.
Story 1 proves the saying: spying leads to crying
Only thing that matters is he loves her, nothing will change that
Story 1: Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Definitely sounds like OP has found herself a good man.
My heart breaks for the OP, feeling like she’s ugly
Honestly in story # 1: the husband was way TOO passive in allowing his "friends" to call his SO ugly for as long as they did. He should have shut them up the first time. Granted he did stand up for her, but he should have been doing that from the beginning. He knew that she was insecure about her looks. I know that we all say things in anger that we do not mean, but to call your SO ugly, even though you are trying to defend them, is something that you will pay for for the rest of your life. That comment will always be there in your SO's mind and can cause more problems for her(for clarity as I am Male). Can she honestly accept you telling her that she is beautiful in your eyes? I don't know..
I still think Story #1 is very sad. You can still be sad even if something is true. Truth doesn’t erase heartache.
Yeaaaa !! Love a caring Doctor. 💕
The feelings of OP after hearing her husband's words made me so sad. I truly believe in my heart that ALL OF US deserve love.
Oof, first story. It's like he defended my honor, but destroyed me at the same time. Advidly too. It reminds me of the story where the guy had to let go of his wife because she admitted she didn't find him attractive but was happy with him. Oh boy...
It's sad, but it really seems that he loves her a whole lot, but sees past her looks. He's not looking at her physical appearance but the her as a whole. I find that admirable, but I cant blame the girl for being hurt about that at the same time. I've heard of stories where all we want is someone who'll accept us as we are, and when we get that, great, but it doesn't change our appearance. I'd say he was frustrated with his friends and it just came out, but I dont doubt that he sees you, op, as anything less than beautiful in his eyes. Unattractive doesn't equal unlovable.
If anything, I feel for those attractive people in relationships, cause there's always the underlying thought of, are they only with me because of my looks and what if my features wane? Beauty is one hell of an insecurity on both sides.
Btw, if I was in her situation I probably would've brought it up in a jokingly way and how he'd respond we'd go from there. But I dont think she has anything to worry about~
S1 was so beautiful. It sounds like they're both wonderful people and that they have a model relationship. I hope that someday I find a relationship was amazing as theirs
I've often heard stunning, sweet-hearted women say they wish they knew if someone loved them for themselves, and not just their looks. Because looks fade with age and they'd hate to have wasted their life with someone who just ups and leaves them because someone better looking came along. I bet it happens to some guys, too.
I love the sick leave story. I hate so much that it's legal in the US to force someone with a bad flu or mono to drag themselves to the doctor's and pay for a doctor's appointment just to get a single day of unpaid leave. That headache is why I went freelance.
That husband needs extra hugs. That was more than awesome. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏Those friends were jealous of OP's husband. They were jealous of the good husband and wife relationship they had going. So the "friends" had to attack OP. This is a good example of misery loves company.
Thanks LG great stories today. Be safe. Peace
you too Louella!
I don't think I be with someone who think I'm ugly... Change whatever you don't like...
Again… great story telling LG.
Thanks Larry!
Omg that’s such a beautiful story! I luv stories of women that have amazing husbands like mine !
OP in the first story has an Amazing husband ! What a catch ! Keep him
2nd story I love the doctor.
The 2nd story makes me want to become a doctor just to stick it to trash managers and bosses
Story 1: "I know she's ugly." Wow, that's not the way you start defending your partner. OP's partner needs new friends if all they do is complain about their partners, so negative. Self-confidence is attractive, rather than physical appearance. The partner sees who she really is but may have ruined the relationship with his comment. These conversations almost never go as expected, you plan everything out and then, when in the moment people forget all of it and it comes out another way if at all. Good for the partner for cutting off his friends. The holiday was a nice surprise as well.
Story 2: Good doctor, lousy boss.
Sounds like you need to learn how to love yourself unconditionally rather than expect someone else to affirm that for you.
I was married to my ex for 10 years and undergoing cancer treatment when I accidentally learned that my husband told his friend that I was ugly without hair.
If it were me, I might tell my spouse I heard and was hurt by that comment. My knee-jerk reaction to negatives is to figure out a way to change things. If you are happy with how you appear, you are well-adjusted and a part of a small portion of women today. The entire beauty industry is based on women’s lack of self-worth. I joined a swim team and a gym. I removed my uni-brow, lost weight, and toned myself up. I no longer care what others think or say. I’m happy with the improvements I have made! It is all up to you and what you make of yourself. Only do what you WANT to do. You are enough just as you are.
Beauty is not from the outside its from the inside
A good friend of mine married a homely woman n I mean stop in your tracks ugly, but ya know what he's 1of the few couples that are still married and truly happy n that's what matters, she is adored by all of our friends and excepted!
Women are never ugly. They are intriguing, unique and have hidden charms.
Lies
You always have good advice
😊
I've known several people who, while not being overly attractive according to society, are some of the most beautiful people I've ever met. And some that are physically attractive are the ugliest people I've ever met. True beauty comes from within. After all, beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
Second story, I've been that sick before. It is no fun. Both ends at the same time. My husband found me in the bathroom on the floor with my hand in a barf bucket. I don't know if I had passed out or just fallen asleep. He got me cleaned up the best he could, then got me back to bed. I ended up at the ER because I was dehydrated.
The second story made me smile. I used to deal with someone like Steve
It sounds like OP’s husband, in the moment wasn’t choosing his words very well, and yeah, that shit hurts. I am glad that they talked about it though, because he does sound like an amazing man who unfortunately is also human, and has some *very* terrible ‘friends’.
treat them mean to keep them keen
There is a difference between being beautiful and being attractive. Yes, your spouse should see you as attractive, but nothing says that they have to see you as beautiful. There are plenty of beautiful people who absolutely make my skin crawl. There are also men whom I find attractive (I like 'em short, go figure) whom other women wouldn't not date.
Considering how our brains short circuit when we are angry, how we “forget to engage brain before mouth is in drive”, I’d bet he meant to say something like “I know *you* think she’s ugly”. He might even think that’s what he did say.
It's not shallow wanting to be pretty...I don't think anyone wants to be unattractive. Even when you're not doing it to attract other people, it's nice to be attractive for yourself...
4:23
🤔I think that when the beauty of your husband's friends wives fades those men will be headed down the road...YOURS WON'T!😁
animal fact! there are 10,000 species of isopod!
I like the animal facts you put on here. Informative. 😊
What a lovely story is the first one. She must be awesome as her hubster surely is. Pity she cannot see that in herself, I hope he boosted her esteem througj the roof, she deserves that.
Oh that Steve guy, don't you just love when big headed bullies get their comeuppance lol 🤢🤓
Aww OP he really loves you.
You are so lucky to have such a thoughtful loving husband.
Some women are not that lucky. Have fun on your trip.
2nd story Doctor rocks, manager shocks
Holy shit.
Husband of the god damned century there...
There are times that the fascination of "Ugly" far outweighs the fascination of "Beauty".
great content as always lost!!
Thank you Cryofist! :)
If my seek other admits to his friends that I am ugly I would would file divorce and let them be with their stupid friends and move on with life
This is gonna be controversial opinion but 1st story: I don't deny that Op's husband clearly loves her, its just hard to believe that if someone is genuinely attracted to his wife, thinks of her as beautiful in his eyes, then his knee-jerk reaction wouldn't be the very specific phrase "I know she's ugly", that sounds like something you say after you've thought about it, repeatedly. I dunno maybe I'm too cynical. That being said I think they have a good marriage that has the potential to last because it's based on the emotional chemistry more than the physical
I think the same as you!
She was not part of the conversation and he could’ve said “I know you think she is ugly” or something of that nature. Eavesdropping (even unintentionally) can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. Open communication should be encouraged and valued.
She probably is "ugly" though. (I obviously mean by conventional standards). There are so many things worse in the world than being "ugly" though. And I guess I wonder what the big deal is if the husband does think his wife is ugly.
I mean... did everyone just gloss over that while seemingly in private where supposedly nobody could hear them, in a moment where he could let his guard down and be his real self, 1st OP's husband chose to call his friends out for their dickish behavior and got genuinely angry at how they treated OP? He has genuine integrity, and has clearly chosen his partner with his whole heart and soul.
He let his guard down, and revealed his true feelings. He lied to OP for heaven knows how long, and thought that a few copy pasted words, and a holiday ('vacation' in the American language) would make her forget his betrayal. He will run off with the first woman he does find attractive. I hope she can cancel the 'vacation', receive a refund, and use the money for a good divorce solicitor ('lawyer' in the American language)
Op you are. Really a lucky woman beauty is inside it lasts
Much longer much.happyness to you and hubby always
Personally, I try to meet with people on their level when we have an argument. If someone uses a specific word or phrase in the argument, I make the effort to use the same thing in the same way to help them understand why I disagree.
Would never forgive my relationship partner for calling me ugly. Don't need that toxicity in my life.
Man that first story gave me all the feels. I actually know this one from both sides, being a genderqueer woman and short and fat. I'm demi so attraction for me is kind of weird anyway but when I first met who became one of the greatest loves of my life I thought "wellp, not much to look at but eh, unimportant." Thing is, as time went on and he became more dear to me, I noticed more and more details about the way he looked that made him just a beautiful person who I genuinely enjoyed looking at. That never dimmed, though we're no longer together romantically I will always count him as someone with both inner and outer beauty and screw what anybody says. The whole package of a person's external looks may or may not meet someone's aesthetic preferences on first blush, but when you know them over time you notice all those little things, like the way the light catches the bridge of their nose or a quirk of their smile, a turn of their head, the way they use their hands when they make a cup of tea, whatever. OP has nothing to worry about, the love is strong here. But I also know what it is to feel like the ugliest bitch in the puppy pile, not to put too fine a point on it. The whole story made me so happy tbh. There is still love and joy in the world!
Leasten up ever one there is no such thing of ugly or untrackful people we are all beautiful in our own ways have a blessed day and may god help you all have a nice day
The last story reminds me of the story of the brother and sister that got put into therapy and grounded for opening up about how they hated their step mom bc their dad moved on so fast and forced them to accept her with giving them time to grieve their mom
Beauty and attractiveness really is relative, and not just about looks... I remember thinking how if I had crossed paths with my bf I wouldn't have checked him out, he wasn't originally the type of person I would've considered hot, but as I got to know him, he started to become incredibly attractive. His mannerisms, his gestures, his intellect, his little smiles. I've been with him for 8 years and counting, high school sweethearts, and the years have only made him so much more incredibly hotter