OP blew up his marriage for some booty calls. He’s 100% to blame for this situation. He only did this because he expected his wife wasn’t going to also participate in the open part of the marriage. Lazy and selfish, he got what he asked for. ETA: After the wife’s post OP is even worse than his post originally revealed… 😡
Love how even when the OP tries to add only the information that makes him look like the victim, Redditors can smell the bullshit through the screen. The wife’s callout post is just what uncovers it
@@WhitneyDahlin Um he decided to open their marriage because his wife wasn't able to have sex with him after her miscarriage? And you're going to go with him being a good person? Like seriously his wife almost died and he couldn't even muster the energy to support her, he just focused on the loss of sex.
Whitney, Yeah one she wasn’t sleeping with him because she had lost their child and nearly died a year before. Second he abandoned them for three days and spent 700 dollars and then threatened her that if he didn’t use the basement for his affairs it would happen again. Did we read the same story?
@@WhitneyDahlin Doctors tell newly-delivered mothers to avoid sex for between one to two months... and that's just for normal deliveries with no/minor complications. Complicated births and major tearing (remember, it's not uncommon to tear all the way to the anus!) naturally take longer to heal, a doctor in some circumstances may push back the timeline to six months. Sex before fully healing can cause infections, torn stitches, re-tearing of newly formed scar tissue, and development of scar tissue that can make sex painful for years afterwards. So, no, refraining (or "withholding") from sex for however many months the doctor orders is not "unacceptable", it's medically necessary. Plus, the wife nearly died from childbirth. Their baby did die. The husband expecting/pressuring for sex before she was healed both physically and emotionally would've made any depression she was experiencing worse, further turning her off from sex. He should've just quietly taken care of himself in the shower whenever he needed and let her heal and grieve without added pressure/guilt.
@@WhitneyDahlin if ya have issues with your relationship ya either work thru it or leave. Ya dont open it cuz then youre saying "i dont give a fuck about ya i only care about myself". His romantic attempts are doing shit he should already be doing like parenting his kids and cleaning. He doesnt do shit for her. He also brings randos to his house with hos kids he cant even do open relationships properly. Ya go to the other person's place if ya got a family not yours. I would have kicked him the fuck out if i was her and i only heard the first post. Then i find out she literally just had a late stage miscarriage dude is heartless. Its also extremely dangerous to have sex with a woman after she gave birth some people go without sex for yrs but hes a whiny little bitch after 2 months which is like the min youre suppose to wait to have sex after a birth. Then theres all the emotional issues cuz he refuses to be a good parent, partner and husband. She does everything while going thru emotional issues. Now hes whiny cuz she finally found a decent dude. I dont feel sorry for him. I went thru literally yrs without sex in a relationship and no place to masturbate ya cuz she was jobless and refused to get a fucking life. Didnt bitch about it until she started cheating when she finally got off her ass and got a job. First coworker who would have her. OP's kids and wife will be better off with him gone.
It's stories like this that make me realize that there can be facts left out that completely reframe an entire situation. In this case, leaving out the baby. Leaving out that he spent $700 away for 3 nights with multiple women. Leaving out that she had indeed notified him she'd be away for a weekend. His story on its own was bad, but hearing her side makes him oh so much worse.
@@rhyswheeler858 uh OP's wife mentioned she gave birth to a STILLBORN and nearly died from it giving birth naturally is traumatic and is advised no sex until a few months later
@@rhyswheeler858 seriously asking are you trolling ppl by being satirical by kinda mocking the way the guy tried to gain sympathy by giving half truths? Or are you serious? I follow enough shitposters to appreciate a some snark but on UA-cam there are people who are serious or schrodinger's douchbag.
Whoever wants to “open” their marriage usually ends up regretting it. As soon as the other person finds someone too, they backtrack. Edit: holy crap, I just heard the wife’s pov, she lost her baby a year ago and had to give birth to a baby she had already lost. I had a miscarriage at the beginning of my marriage and was not okay for a long time. Nearly a year. (This was almost 18 years ago now). If I had lost a baby that late in pregnancy and worse, had to give birth under those circumstances, and my husband had so little empathy for me? Nope. That’s not love. Throw the whole man away, he’s selfish to a degree that’s outright harmful. Then playing the victim? Ugh.
Some people can do this successfully, but it takes two people that have a very deep love for each other, and recognize that the physical is simply that. It takes a ton of communication and vulnerability with each other as well as spending time together intimately and just being together. People don't realize this.
It had been almost a full year since the baby's death before he asked to open the marriage. During that time she decided that he wasn't even worth holding hands with. She should have got herself grief counseling. Instead she decided that they were going to go from a relationship of husband and wife to roommates without any benefits. Let's stop pretending that he is the only one at fault here. These two should have been in grief counseling and marriage counseling right after that baby died, and stayed with it. Instead she pushed him away. Then he pushed her away. It became a dumpster fire. This is sadly really common in families after they lose children. They don't want their spouse to feel any happiness. So they purposely torpedo the marriage. And no, if you say that the man has no right to so much as hold his wife's hand a year after their baby dies. You're insane. That no life. Why don't you tell me exactly how long you feel it's okay for one partner to hurt another because they lost a child? Because that's exactly what these two were doing to each other. Pretending that the husband was the only one doing it and the wife was being perfectly okay by denying him so much as hand-holding. That's horrible. That's not a marriage. She ended their marriage and turned it into a roommate without benefits situation. For her to claim 100% victimhood is pretty disgusting. Not until she owns up to her part of it.
@@melodyharpole8272 I disagree, he wasn't there for her to hold hands, cuddle, work her way back to sex. Many women after having to deliver a deed baby, will need time because the act of sex creates babies, so it adds to the suffering. Did he cook dinners for her? Take her out on dates? Just sit & hold her watching movies? Did he comfort her ( & himself, although he comes across as if the dead baby means nothing, he never even put that in his post) Nope, he decided to sleep with other women instead of working to build the bond between them. He wanted "just sex" he got it. She wanted emotional caring that he denied her. When he got sex with others it was ok? But when another guy mad her laugh, feel good, all the things he refused to do (wich by the way create desire for partner) he is having a temper trantum. He can't have it both ways. & I'm pretty sure if she stayed with him, every time things would get rough, bad, he'd cheat on her, or " re-open the relationship to sex with others. I feel sorry for her & the kids
@@stacymanning2393 show me where in the post it says that? I heard exactly the opposite. She refused to have any physical or emotional contact with him once the kids were put in bed. She said nothing to debunk that in her post. She didn't even care about him until he started seeing other people. By then the marriage was over. The moment of marriage is opened, the marriage is over.
"I've had to improvise all day with the kids". Um, he's their FATHER. Dude, take care of YOUR kids. He's been bringing other women home multiple times a week to schtup, while she's been recovering from a horribly traumatic miscarriage AND raising their kids, as well as working part time. And it's not as if he gave her much of a choice. He made her feel like a failure.
I think he just did not know what to do with the kids, how to play, how to make dinner, how to read the book in the evening....dad things...strange, but yeah, if you don´t know how these things work you have to improvise....
Exactly. Most of the time when someone says "I want an open marriage/relationship" what they mean is "I want a harem where I can eff many people but you're expected to stay loyal to me."
"for me it's just for sex but she's too happy with her side piece so I tried to put an end to it" is what I got from the first few sentences. Did he seriously complain about having to spend time with HIS kids?!
You hit the nail on the head!!! He complained about having to be an actual father to his kids. I'm sure he'll consider himself babysitting when he has the kids after divorce as well! He was a POS in his post and an absolute ah after hearing from his wife. Just loved your point!!!
Crazy part is all he's seen is her smiling he hasn't once had to hear her having Os in the basement. He pulled this crap a few times a week for a year she smiles at her phone and now he's heartbroken I'm sick
I know I facepalmed when he did that. Did he think it was fun to her when she was doing all the childcare while he screwed a woman in the basement of their kids house?
I knew it the moment he said "she offered the basement" that he was lying about everything. No woman wants to risk the chance of the kids seeing this. Especially not a woman who supposedly needed help with house work. She obviously cares about her home. Also he brought in many women before she did. That's how you know she didn't want this. Low sex drive or not, who doesn't wanna meet new people after the first chick your husband brings home? Makes no sense to wait that long unless the open marriage was pushed on you.
His thought process was also strange...like: I go with all these women into the basement, so she will find her sex drive...Sorry, but I would not want to touch him knowing he just had sex with another woman, I also would be very afraid of getting Syphile or something (now that the lower parts just healed). After the first woman I would just think...ok he gave up on the marriage and just lose more and more interest and love.
Me hearing Op's posts: Man it sounds like things were fine until you did this Me hearing the wife's post: *stunned silence* Narrator: Things were _not,_ in fact, fine before he did this
Right? The fucking audacity of this man. Wife had a miscarriage and nearly lost her life in the process. Then 2 months later he wants an open relationship because she won’t have sex with him. 2 months! That’s not nearly enough time to recover from what she went through!
@@JessycaLunawoona stillbirth not a miscarriage. Miscarriage happens in 1st trimester and stillbirth is delivering a fully developed baby knowing it's not alive and I can't even imagine what the mother would be going through and then also nearly dying during that experience!
@@Bluestarlet27 The distinction is usually somewhere around the midpoint of pregnancy. Point is, she'd gotten far enough that she thought she was safe. Then it got yanked away in a physically and psychologically brutal experience.
Is it bad, but in the final update when the wife said she's divorcing her POS husband, I actually cheered out loud? Like full on "YAYYY!" What he husband did, based on the info in his posts, was bad. Wives and mums have a lot on their hands, we don't always have the energy for intimacy, especially if our partner isn't making us feel special/appreciated in any way. Or is helping but trying to bargain his help for zex. But, after reading the wife's post? Hubby went from a selfish clueless idiot to a heartless wanker that didn't deserve his wife OR children!! Pretty big bit of info to leave out don't you think: your wife recently gave birth to a stillborn baby and nearly died!! And all he was worried about is getting his leg over?? Seriously? This prick deserves everything he's got coming to him, and more! And I'd take great delight in telling his friends and family exactly what he did in their family home, with countless women from the sounds of it (although I'm amazed he was able to find that many women willing to sleep with him!) I'm so happy the wife is doing what's best for her, because what is best for the mum usually ends up being what's best for the kids in the long run too. I'm willing to bet the kids at least picked up on the tension in the house, maybe even heard mum crying. I just hope that's all they might have heard. Husband of the year here deserves everything that's happening to him for thinking his own sexual gratification was more important than his wife's, and his family's, needs. What a tosser!
@@Bala_Niranna because families breaking up should be a sad thing. In my case, I cheered when my dad finally left because the tension between him and mum, and me and him, had been awful for, probably 4 or 5 years. I said he was having an affair, had been saying it for 2 or 3 years, turns out it was 4, and mum knew for a while, but I was in my last year at high school, so final exams were looming, and she didn't want them splitting up to interfere with them. He left in January, my exams started on February, so she needn't have stayed, but hindsight is 20/20. Fun times, right?
Play stupid games- Edit:Also nice how he neglected to say his wife had a miscarriage and nearly died, I thought the relationship was dead in the beginning from how the husband was describing it, well no wonder.
It wasn't a miscarriage, which happens in the first trimester. It was a stillbirth, a baby who died in the womb at full term, where she had a full labor to deliver it, knowing it was dead.
@@shells500tutubo And nearly died herself delivering that lost child ! But she was supposed to get over that super fast to take care of the home , the children and most importantly getting his willy wet. 😡
Wow. Love how he phrased the bringing them home to the basement was her idea so he didn't spend money on hotels when it was actually him who spent $700 on a whole weekend bangfest and said if she didn't like it she has to let him use the basement instead. What a POS. Also he apparently loves her so much that when she tried to sleep with him through this whole open marriage he said no because he had someone else coming or he was too tired from having sex with someone else. Like even in an open marriage you would think you would choose your wife and tell the person coming over not to come. But no he didn't want his wife anymore he had the best of both worlds. Got to sleep around in his own home while his wife stayed dutiful and loyal to him. Doubt he stayed quiet because if he's that disrespectful I don't believe he would care if anyone heard. He probably wanted to her to hear to rub it in her face by showing how he pleased other women and how she wasn't lucky enough to be one of them. Then when she decided to open her end he all of a sudden switches the narrative and is trying to win her back. What a POS. Bet he also loved telling her about it and watching her agony until she told him to stop.
Oh don't you love it when the OP gets destroyed by the truth coming out? 🤣 What a disgusting detail to leave out of his original post- then tries to deny to the wife that he ever posted to Reddit! What a prize....
When Pandora opened her box, she immediately tried to close the box to prevent the situation from getting worse. Closing it just fast enough to trap Hope
OPs wife posted her version about opening up the marriage. She had to give birth to their kid who passed away and she almost died. She couldn’t have intimacy with him and that’s why she rejected him. He told her since she couldn’t do her job as a wife he like to open up the marriage. She said ok and he spent $700 in hotels then eventually used basement. She met this guy and has fallen for him. She didn’t know what to do and didn’t want to close up the marriage since he didn’t appreciate her.
Oooo...this is just insane. Imagine only hearing the husband's part, never even knowing how much he left out of his post... Smh. I wish her happiness. Honestly
@@rhyswheeler858 Neither are saints. Call it as it is. OP is a real douche. He’s far more a rag than the wife is. I don’t blame her reactions to op one bit.
@@rhyswheeler858 Dude. When dealing with anyone going through both the physical and mental trauma the wife was going through and you’re still whining and her actions. Op gave no support to his wife when she needed it most. He’s the one who primarily failed. Yet you want to find ways to blame her the exact same way op has.
@@ltyler01 dude don't you get it? Traumatic loss of a child that died inside of you is JUST as bad as not getting laid. At least that's what @Rhys Wheeler is trying to say.
the one who sees his wife as a birth machine / sex machine / maid nannybang maid. also he fits the archetype of men dont like women. they like to bang women, they just dont like them.
First story: Wow you would oversee the kids and help with the chores YOU BOTH create, and you expected that to “put her in the mood.” Bc she finally has some free time to relax. You were not taking her on dates, buying flowers, acting like a romantic partner okkk
Incidents where people both tell their own side of the story, especially in chaotic situations, are always so damn fascinating to me. It's because it's one of the few ways that you get to see someone's thought process and mentality on display, through the implications left by what they include, what they leave out, how they frame a detail, etc. You barely have to do any analysis yourself.
First guy is an absolute tool. He really wants to be upset that his wife is talking to someone? His problem is all he wants is sex, but his wife wanted intimacy. I hope wife has an amazing future with someone else because that guy doesn’t deserve to be married.
Wow, that update from the wife. What a garbage human being that guy is. I mean he was a fool to begin with but it just got worse. Also, who are the other people that would agree to be with a person in the open marriage? That just seems like too much unneeded drama.
How many Reddit stories have we seen of someone wanting to open the marriage, whether it be the husband or wife, and then they get upset when when their partner actually starts seeing/sleeping other people.
Because they actually think they are so great that people will line up for them and think their partner is just so lucky to be with them. And often this allows their partner to actually see what a healthy relationship is.
@@alichamay7012 Yes, it seem to be the pattern that once the one who didn't want to open the marriage is hurt so much by their partner flaunting their escapades they will stop caring and they start looking elsewhere. The one who didn't want to open the marriage is usually monogamous by nature which usually leads them to finding someone to have a real relationship with. That's the point where the one who opened the marriage starts feeling the my give a damn's busted and they are happier other partner vibe from their SO and realizes they messed up and backpedals to close the relationship. At that point it's usually too late because the one who didn't want the open marriage already has feelings for their other partner and won't close the relationship.
10:25 JFC, this is where I go from being disgusted with the husband to going into absolute rage mode! He practically ripped her heart out and stomped on it with cleats after she experienced something so traumatic!
The Guy in this relationship just wrecked his marriage. And his reaction is laughable. The truth was, he wanted to screw with other woman, but hoped his wife wouldn't do the same. He knew he would be an assholes if he asked a one side open relationship, but truth is, he wanted that. I hope his wife leaves him.
It was more than that; he doesn't seem to have provided her with emotional support or understanding of what she endured when she lost the baby. He's completely disconnected from her; no empathy, no compassion. Did he even grieve? Probably not a lot. She will be healthier without that trash.
@@rhyswheeler858 funny how he never once even said she had to go thru delivering a dead baby & almost died. He has shown no caring about her in posts untill he got to part about her finding a man that made her feel good. He should of done that. Did he do things that are romantic with her? Bring her flowers, gifts, dinner? Nope he helped with house chores & kids then expected sex in return, what a turn off. He should of been doing that all along for her, not just to get laid.
@@rhyswheeler858 What is wrong with you? Feminist bullshit? Your parents raised you wrong - shame on them for being slackers. Just look at the big picture - he took it on his way. He has shown no empathy or caring. He wants everything on HIS terms. This has nothing to do with feminism, because there are a lot of men (clearly not you) who understand the depth of despair a woman goes through under those circumstances.
Once a marriage is opened, it can never really be closed. Inevitably, one partner is always going to find someone who they prefer more, or they simply won't want to go back to being monogamous. People need to stop presenting open relationships as the solution that is going to save a relationship. If your interest and your eye is on somebody else, just break up.
It's RARE that it works. Either both having same mentality from start or decades of life together and everything else is well except sex. But even that point there can be no secrets and trust between has to be 100%. You really don't have thay after few yrs of dating and such. And of course intimacy will bring some emotions, hard to avoid. It has become misused term for cowards
Usually its the person who doesn't want the open relationship who finds someone better. The person pursuing open relationships aren't going to find long term material.
Frankly, him denying the posts is what looks the worst to me, i have seen that kind of cowardice face to face, and its impossible to respect someone after that
Yeah OP absolutely made his bed… in the basement… with a bunch of random other people… while his wife and children were sleeping upstairs… sometimes multiple times a week.
Notice how he framed it as something happening to him, instead of him pushing for an open relationship and lacking in communication. If she gets someone who is better for her, he can’t say crap about it.
Oh give me a break dude! He only wants the wife back because she found someone. Boy bye!! You get married it's for life, love, vows, partnership.. This might be TMI but I haven't had sex with my husband in 2mths, a health reason, and we are still the same! Cuddle up, he tells me how much he loves me, how beautiful I am.. Yes I feel bad that I can't right now but he looks at me and says having me with him is all that matters to him, not the bedroom... I would NEVER EVER hurt my husband by opening it up.. Gross!!
Guess this guy is on the finding out end of “F%!# around and find out.” 🤷🏻♀️ Edit: wow, the longer this video goes goes on, the worse it gets. OP is a totally self-centered child.
I'm actually involved with the poly/kink community, and this dude would quickly become a pariah if he tried coming in. Enthusiastic consent is a pretty big deal here, and most poly people insist on meeting the partner at least once if just to ask if they're okay with this. I'm pretty sure every woman I know in this circle would not just dump MOp, but ream him out, rip him a new one, and then make sure the wife was okay, taken care of and had the support network she needed.
For your opinion on the wife’s relationship… She said she *_started_* that to make her husband jealous. It became real, quickly after he actually treated her like a human being. Her whole relationship isn’t to spite her husband, it’s a legit relationship and she should not be forced to give up the only person that’s treated her like she’s not garbage.
@ 16:43 "Thanks guys, and sorry for getting you involved in our personal business." This makes about as much sense as a band apologizing to an audience in a bar for playing music for them.
@@rubymeaddle True, but I do believe that you really need a strong base on how to communicate before ever considering opening up your relationship. That communication better be sturdy. It's required.
I am in an ethical non monogamous relationship (open marriage) and this man is trash. He doesn't care about his wife, he doesn't care about the women he sleeps with, and he doesn't care about his children. Just awful.
Looks like this guy doesn't know how not to lie. "I never wrote that". Well those details be VERY specific my dude Edit: wait, he had to "improvise" with the kids because mum wasn't home? There was me mistaking him for their father.
I’ve never been in a non monogamous relationship, but from what I hear, being in an open relationship requires MORE work, communication and emotional investment. It’s not the same as dehumanizing and punishing a partner because you aren’t getting enough sex. My guess is that if it’s not an agreement right from the start, the next best shot would be opening the relationship when the couple is at their best, not at their worst
Yea! Glad i listened to the end before my comment! RUN! Leave Him At The Curb! He is Selfish! He Knows How to get whatever he wants! He has no empathy for others! He Lies(not my post)! Next Time he feels the need to "open the relationship" it Will Be an Affair!(no chance she'll find someone better) He learned how much She Does for the family & home(while gone for the weekend)! People like Him are the Reason for the phrase "in sickness" & "for worse" were put in the marriage ceremony(contract) These SHOULD Be Expected Actions but obviously not to Some People!😢💕
I keep hearing about open relationships and open marriages. I will keep saying the same thing: An open marriage will only survive IF they had an open relationship to begin with from beginning. Not, something that can change for the latter.
So, synopsis… dude has decided he wants some strange. He breaks it to wifey (she whose feelings do not matter AT ALL) and, assuming that only he (whose feelings are the ONLY ones that matter) and starts fucking his way through his city… meanwhile wifey, who actually has self respect, found a man who actually appears to give a shit about her, and we are supposed to feel sorry that wife is now very happy and OP not so much. He did this, and actually has the audacity to say he loves her soooo much so she should be totally with him and unhappy yet again like he wants. She will ultimately leave him because he showed her he really doesn’t love her, he just wants his backup lay/servant back.
If he was expecting sympathy, he found out very quickly that he’s basically the laughing stock of relationships when he posted. Him failing to mention about his wife losing the baby and the trauma her body and mind went though, he needs to take a good long look in the mirror. I’m guessing he will question any future relationships he will have, plus he needs to learn to take the blame.
Ma'am, you had a still birth and you still wanted to make it work but he wanted to sleep around. Divorce should've been the ONLY OPTION at that point. And I say that while goin thru the exact same situation with my husband. Sex hasn't even crossed his mind!!!!!!!!!!
Story 1: At first I had to question if the wife was looking outside the relationship already before he offered to open up the marriage. then I heard the wife's update. The guy's a jerk.
Advice on helping kids of divorce: first and foremost the parents need to be friendly and on the same page. Second, no blaming or sniping about the other parent EVER! Third, make sure your kids no that this was in no way their fault and you both love them unconditionally. (Your ex husband's posts did not show any care for the children) Talk to and listen to your kids feelings about the divorce. You don't need to give the specific reasons, just that sometimes things don't work out and its better to go separate ways than to be hurt and fighting. Good luck and best wishes for you and the kids. I think you are going to be just fine. Losing a child, no matter at what age is so very hard. It does get easier with time. Allow yourself to grieve but not wallow. Your feelings are justified.
This guy isn't interested in actually making his wife happy, he just wants to manipulate her into being in a relationship with him again where he is happy.
The utter lack of empathy and feeling after Losing a child seems like a massive red flag for me. Then there was the gaslighting after she confronted him about the Reddit post. I bet the dude has some of the Dark Triad traits or is a raging child. That relationship could become more dangerous. Glad she got out.
The part where he said he helped with chores thinking it would get his wife in the mood. Uhg. You should be helping with chores without trying to get sex out of it.
Usually the person asking for the open marriage doesn't expect his or her partner to also get laid, they think that they are the only ones getting extra nookie.
I'm not done with the video yet, but I just want to say, if your marriage is broken, opening the marriage or having a baby is not going to fix it. Go to marital counseling and fix your sh!t first.
Funny, even without the wife's side of the story, the dude makes his own self sound terrible. I really hope she leaves him and gives her new guy a chance.
My jaw LITERALLY fell open when the wife said their baby had just died. I thought he was scum to begin with, but that's an unbelievably horrible thing to ask for when she's recovering from a stillbirth. What a disgusting excuse for a man.
S1, not sure what advice you are seeking? You want your wife back? So after opening the marriage, you bring women to the basement? Now you find your wife different with one guy, laughter, and complete attitude change? Of course your wife found someone new! Your wife didn't change, you did! Your idea, your actions, your choices! You will have to live with them. Make her end that relationship? She will just take it outside the home. Yes she will cheat. Your marriage died the moment you opened the marriage and destroyed your vows. Good luck
If someone has a low sex drive and that bothers you, don't enter a relationship with them. If you're already in a relationship and they suddenly start changing and seem less interested, sit down and have a conversation about the two of you, not including asking for permission to cheat 🤦♀️
I’m actually picturing this sleeze ball openly whining to his wife “but I helped with the kids, and around the house, so u wouldn’t be 2 tired for sex, y u no sex wif meee?!” While she is curled up in bed next to him trying to rest. After the wife’s update, the image unfortunately changed to include her quietly crying into a baby onesie that was meant for their lost baby. May everyone in this story find whatever they need to be happy.
ABANDON THE KIDS!? Because she left them with their father!? What the hell do you mean improvise with the kids? It sounds like she spends a lot more time with them. You are supposed to spend time with your own children so it wouldn’t be strange when it’s just you with them. What is wrong with tou
He’s the kind of guy who would say that he is babysitting his own children, instead of calling It patenting. He is pathetic. The way he sees his marriage; the way he sees his role as a father and husband, , the way he sees the world is just so… transactional, selfish, and not thinking at all about the impact of his actions on his kids.
Okay I'm not that into the story yet but I can't imagine, as a polyamorous person, not talking to my partner(s) about our love lives. Communication absolutely makes or breaks non-monogamous relationships Also, ONLY opening up a monogamous marriage because your wife doesn't want sex that much is a red flag for me.
The OP wife just needs to end this marriage already and go with the new guy. If my husband ever asked about having an open marriage, divorce. We both already agreed to never ask for one, and if someone asks for it, automatic divorce.
The first op should be a comedian, him fumbling up his marriage and pretending like it wasn't him posting about it was the funniest thing I heard all day
I would just immediately break up with them if my partner ever suggested an open marriage. I want to be monogamous and just knowing that that's what they want will make feel uneasy, like they're going to try to cheat or are already cheating. Will probably include it in my prenup too so that the divorce will be smoother if my spouse started spewing that bullshit. Who even is this guy that he's having that many hookups, is he trying to hard to flex or just hiring sex workers
Can you imagine if this is actually 2 different marriages and the first op hs nothing to do woth the second? That would be a wild conversation to have withbthe husband
I roll my eyes multiple times while listening to the husbands bs. He asks for open relationship after 2 months of not having sex? Did I understand it right? Is he a sex addict that he had to absolutely have sex rather than having an actual relationship with his wife? What a selfish excuse of a human.
I would have left the second he decided to stray. I’m so sorry for her and the loss of her baby. He didn’t even bring up the death of their child. So unfeeling and callous. So tragic. Any licensed marriage counselor will tell you that open marriages do not last nor work-in fact, they almost always end very badly... he betrayed his wife and his family for tail. He doesn’t deserve her.
You know, a while back someone told me if the wife is physically incapacitated then it’s her responsibility to still sexually satisfy her husband even if it’s not pleasant. That cheating is the end result of denying sex. BUT, what about For Better and For Worse? She was recovering from a tragic pregnancy and the hormonal shift of PPD-It’s not a walk in the park. He didn’t mention how he tried to help her emotionally recover for herself. It’s all about HIM. IT sounded like the wife needed an emotional connection and assurance, and OP couldn’t give it to her because all her focused was on his sexual needs. If he had swallowed his pride and looked at the whole picture of how physically and emotionally traumatic her situation was-their sex life and romantic life would have improved in recovery.
Nah I don’t think she’s using the new guy to get back at her husband. This new guy helped her heal while her husband was thinking with the wrong head. What a piece of garbage.
This guy seriously has never spent one day taking care of his kids because that is bullshit having to say she is abandoning her kids when she's just having time out for herself what do you say the same goddamn thing if she went out with the girls on a girl's night
OP blew up his marriage for some booty calls. He’s 100% to blame for this situation. He only did this because he expected his wife wasn’t going to also participate in the open part of the marriage. Lazy and selfish, he got what he asked for.
ETA: After the wife’s post OP is even worse than his post originally revealed… 😡
I'm only through half of the second post and I already want to slap some sense into him, and it gets worse?!?!
@@protoskeeper unfortunately..
@@protoskeeper I'd like to say it's rare to see someone that blind (mentally), but sadly, this delusion happens all to frequently.
Holy hell that got so much worse! At least I'm glad she is leaving him and hope that she can find a happier life.
1 op (the husband)= piece of garbage 🤬🤬🤬
2 op (the wife)= Angel😇😇 who had to suffer but now living her life 😎😎
Love how even when the OP tries to add only the information that makes him look like the victim, Redditors can smell the bullshit through the screen.
The wife’s callout post is just what uncovers it
@@WhitneyDahlin Um he decided to open their marriage because his wife wasn't able to have sex with him after her miscarriage? And you're going to go with him being a good person? Like seriously his wife almost died and he couldn't even muster the energy to support her, he just focused on the loss of sex.
Whitney, Yeah one she wasn’t sleeping with him because she had lost their child and nearly died a year before. Second he abandoned them for three days and spent 700 dollars and then threatened her that if he didn’t use the basement for his affairs it would happen again. Did we read the same story?
@@WhitneyDahlin Doctors tell newly-delivered mothers to avoid sex for between one to two months... and that's just for normal deliveries with no/minor complications. Complicated births and major tearing (remember, it's not uncommon to tear all the way to the anus!) naturally take longer to heal, a doctor in some circumstances may push back the timeline to six months. Sex before fully healing can cause infections, torn stitches, re-tearing of newly formed scar tissue, and development of scar tissue that can make sex painful for years afterwards.
So, no, refraining (or "withholding") from sex for however many months the doctor orders is not "unacceptable", it's medically necessary.
Plus, the wife nearly died from childbirth. Their baby did die. The husband expecting/pressuring for sex before she was healed both physically and emotionally would've made any depression she was experiencing worse, further turning her off from sex. He should've just quietly taken care of himself in the shower whenever he needed and let her heal and grieve without added pressure/guilt.
@@WhitneyDahlin if ya have issues with your relationship ya either work thru it or leave. Ya dont open it cuz then youre saying "i dont give a fuck about ya i only care about myself". His romantic attempts are doing shit he should already be doing like parenting his kids and cleaning. He doesnt do shit for her. He also brings randos to his house with hos kids he cant even do open relationships properly. Ya go to the other person's place if ya got a family not yours. I would have kicked him the fuck out if i was her and i only heard the first post. Then i find out she literally just had a late stage miscarriage dude is heartless. Its also extremely dangerous to have sex with a woman after she gave birth some people go without sex for yrs but hes a whiny little bitch after 2 months which is like the min youre suppose to wait to have sex after a birth. Then theres all the emotional issues cuz he refuses to be a good parent, partner and husband. She does everything while going thru emotional issues. Now hes whiny cuz she finally found a decent dude. I dont feel sorry for him. I went thru literally yrs without sex in a relationship and no place to masturbate ya cuz she was jobless and refused to get a fucking life. Didnt bitch about it until she started cheating when she finally got off her ass and got a job. First coworker who would have her. OP's kids and wife will be better off with him gone.
@@WhitneyDahlin you aren’t owed sex and he literally did pressure her into agreeing. this man and you do not deserve the basic human right to exist
Wow, two whole months without sex. Nevermind his dead child and wife who almost died. Two whole months, how ever did he survive so long?
It's stories like this that make me realize that there can be facts left out that completely reframe an entire situation. In this case, leaving out the baby. Leaving out that he spent $700 away for 3 nights with multiple women. Leaving out that she had indeed notified him she'd be away for a weekend. His story on its own was bad, but hearing her side makes him oh so much worse.
@@rhyswheeler858 He didn’t mention the baby at all in his post, just his frustration over lack of sex.
@@rhyswheeler858 He didn’t mention the baby or the fact that the wife had a stillbirth and almost died was the reason for her “low sex drive”.
@@rhyswheeler858 No, he didn’t mention it because he would look like the asshole he was.
@@rhyswheeler858 uh OP's wife mentioned she gave birth to a STILLBORN and nearly died from it giving birth naturally is traumatic and is advised no sex until a few months later
@@rhyswheeler858 seriously asking are you trolling ppl by being satirical by kinda mocking the way the guy tried to gain sympathy by giving half truths?
Or are you serious? I follow enough shitposters to appreciate a some snark but on UA-cam there are people who are serious or schrodinger's douchbag.
Whoever wants to “open” their marriage usually ends up regretting it. As soon as the other person finds someone too, they backtrack.
Edit: holy crap, I just heard the wife’s pov, she lost her baby a year ago and had to give birth to a baby she had already lost. I had a miscarriage at the beginning of my marriage and was not okay for a long time. Nearly a year. (This was almost 18 years ago now). If I had lost a baby that late in pregnancy and worse, had to give birth under those circumstances, and my husband had so little empathy for me? Nope. That’s not love. Throw the whole man away, he’s selfish to a degree that’s outright harmful. Then playing the victim? Ugh.
How can we be sure that thing is even human?! Things who show no emotions HAS to a robot! Or a devil. Either way, they are clearly NOT human!
Some people can do this successfully, but it takes two people that have a very deep love for each other, and recognize that the physical is simply that. It takes a ton of communication and vulnerability with each other as well as spending time together intimately and just being together. People don't realize this.
It had been almost a full year since the baby's death before he asked to open the marriage. During that time she decided that he wasn't even worth holding hands with. She should have got herself grief counseling. Instead she decided that they were going to go from a relationship of husband and wife to roommates without any benefits.
Let's stop pretending that he is the only one at fault here. These two should have been in grief counseling and marriage counseling right after that baby died, and stayed with it.
Instead she pushed him away. Then he pushed her away. It became a dumpster fire.
This is sadly really common in families after they lose children. They don't want their spouse to feel any happiness. So they purposely torpedo the marriage.
And no, if you say that the man has no right to so much as hold his wife's hand a year after their baby dies. You're insane. That no life.
Why don't you tell me exactly how long you feel it's okay for one partner to hurt another because they lost a child? Because that's exactly what these two were doing to each other. Pretending that the husband was the only one doing it and the wife was being perfectly okay by denying him so much as hand-holding. That's horrible. That's not a marriage. She ended their marriage and turned it into a roommate without benefits situation. For her to claim 100% victimhood is pretty disgusting. Not until she owns up to her part of it.
@@melodyharpole8272 I disagree, he wasn't there for her to hold hands, cuddle, work her way back to sex. Many women after having to deliver a deed baby, will need time because the act of sex creates babies, so it adds to the suffering. Did he cook dinners for her? Take her out on dates? Just sit & hold her watching movies? Did he comfort her ( & himself, although he comes across as if the dead baby means nothing, he never even put that in his post)
Nope, he decided to sleep with other women instead of working to build the bond between them. He wanted "just sex" he got it. She wanted emotional caring that he denied her. When he got sex with others it was ok? But when another guy mad her laugh, feel good, all the things he refused to do (wich by the way create desire for partner) he is having a temper trantum. He can't have it both ways. & I'm pretty sure if she stayed with him, every time things would get rough, bad, he'd cheat on her, or " re-open the relationship to sex with others. I feel sorry for her & the kids
@@stacymanning2393 show me where in the post it says that? I heard exactly the opposite. She refused to have any physical or emotional contact with him once the kids were put in bed. She said nothing to debunk that in her post.
She didn't even care about him until he started seeing other people. By then the marriage was over. The moment of marriage is opened, the marriage is over.
"I've had to improvise all day with the kids". Um, he's their FATHER. Dude, take care of YOUR kids.
He's been bringing other women home multiple times a week to schtup, while she's been recovering from a horribly traumatic miscarriage AND raising their kids, as well as working part time.
And it's not as if he gave her much of a choice. He made her feel like a failure.
I think he just did not know what to do with the kids, how to play, how to make dinner, how to read the book in the evening....dad things...strange, but yeah, if you don´t know how these things work you have to improvise....
This is the same guy who helped out (unusual) thinking he would earn sex, and for some reason stopped dating his own wife.
His idea of helping with the kids is probably basic bare minimum ish
@@arianebolt1575 Yup! "helped out" with the kids to get laid
OP: I want an open marriage!
Wife: You do know that what you want works both ways right?
OP: Wait, what?!?
That's what got me with the whole thing with Will and Jada. Folks are upset talking about her cheating. Like hello they are in an open marriage
Exactly. Most of the time when someone says "I want an open marriage/relationship" what they mean is "I want a harem where I can eff many people but you're expected to stay loyal to me."
"for me it's just for sex but she's too happy with her side piece so I tried to put an end to it" is what I got from the first few sentences.
Did he seriously complain about having to spend time with HIS kids?!
You hit the nail on the head!!! He complained about having to be an actual father to his kids. I'm sure he'll consider himself babysitting when he has the kids after divorce as well! He was a POS in his post and an absolute ah after hearing from his wife. Just loved your point!!!
Crazy part is all he's seen is her smiling he hasn't once had to hear her having Os in the basement. He pulled this crap a few times a week for a year she smiles at her phone and now he's heartbroken I'm sick
I know I facepalmed when he did that. Did he think it was fun to her when she was doing all the childcare while he screwed a woman in the basement of their kids house?
And saying she abandoned the kids. How is leaving kids with a parent considered abandonment?
Yes she abandoned her kids with their father 🤣🤣😂😂
I knew it the moment he said "she offered the basement" that he was lying about everything. No woman wants to risk the chance of the kids seeing this. Especially not a woman who supposedly needed help with house work. She obviously cares about her home. Also he brought in many women before she did. That's how you know she didn't want this. Low sex drive or not, who doesn't wanna meet new people after the first chick your husband brings home? Makes no sense to wait that long unless the open marriage was pushed on you.
That part was strange. How could a woman be ok with that?? Something is nit quite right ...🤔
His thought process was also strange...like: I go with all these women into the basement, so she will find her sex drive...Sorry, but I would not want to touch him knowing he just had sex with another woman, I also would be very afraid of getting Syphile or something (now that the lower parts just healed). After the first woman I would just think...ok he gave up on the marriage and just lose more and more interest and love.
@@bellycurious exactly can you even imagine such a situation , no woman heck or man is letting someone come in and hook up in their marital home!
Original Op 1wanted his wife to pay for his hoeing!! You can't make this up
I have no sympathy for this guy. I'm happy his wife could find someone that makes her feel good. Sounds like she deserved it.
Thinking he's earned sex by performing basic household tasks. Thinks bringing over three women a week is not a lot. What planet does this guy live on?
"im the breadwinner, therefore I deserve happiness more than the ugly bag i settled with at home."
Don’t forget that he has two other kids in the house he is bringing random women to for sex…
Me hearing Op's posts: Man it sounds like things were fine until you did this
Me hearing the wife's post: *stunned silence*
Narrator: Things were _not,_ in fact, fine before he did this
Right? The fucking audacity of this man. Wife had a miscarriage and nearly lost her life in the process.
Then 2 months later he wants an open relationship because she won’t have sex with him. 2 months! That’s not nearly enough time to recover from what she went through!
@@JessycaLunawoona stillbirth not a miscarriage. Miscarriage happens in 1st trimester and stillbirth is delivering a fully developed baby knowing it's not alive and I can't even imagine what the mother would be going through and then also nearly dying during that experience!
@@Bluestarlet27 The distinction is usually somewhere around the midpoint of pregnancy. Point is, she'd gotten far enough that she thought she was safe. Then it got yanked away in a physically and psychologically brutal experience.
I literally opened up my mouth, when you said that he was called out by his wife on reddit...I love drama 🤣
I love these men/women who bully their spouses into open relationships and then cry the moment their spouse starts having fun.
Is it bad, but in the final update when the wife said she's divorcing her POS husband, I actually cheered out loud? Like full on "YAYYY!"
What he husband did, based on the info in his posts, was bad. Wives and mums have a lot on their hands, we don't always have the energy for intimacy, especially if our partner isn't making us feel special/appreciated in any way. Or is helping but trying to bargain his help for zex. But, after reading the wife's post? Hubby went from a selfish clueless idiot to a heartless wanker that didn't deserve his wife OR children!! Pretty big bit of info to leave out don't you think: your wife recently gave birth to a stillborn baby and nearly died!! And all he was worried about is getting his leg over?? Seriously? This prick deserves everything he's got coming to him, and more! And I'd take great delight in telling his friends and family exactly what he did in their family home, with countless women from the sounds of it (although I'm amazed he was able to find that many women willing to sleep with him!)
I'm so happy the wife is doing what's best for her, because what is best for the mum usually ends up being what's best for the kids in the long run too. I'm willing to bet the kids at least picked up on the tension in the house, maybe even heard mum crying. I just hope that's all they might have heard. Husband of the year here deserves everything that's happening to him for thinking his own sexual gratification was more important than his wife's, and his family's, needs. What a tosser!
I’m willing to bet he told his hookups that he was looking for something serious. We already know he lies…
Yep, this selfish prick was a piss poor excuse for a husband & father. He made his bed, played stupid games, all the 'sayings'.
why would that be bad? terrible relationships ending is a good thing. i hope op2 builds a nice happy life without that loser weighing her down
@@Bala_Niranna because families breaking up should be a sad thing. In my case, I cheered when my dad finally left because the tension between him and mum, and me and him, had been awful for, probably 4 or 5 years. I said he was having an affair, had been saying it for 2 or 3 years, turns out it was 4, and mum knew for a while, but I was in my last year at high school, so final exams were looming, and she didn't want them splitting up to interfere with them. He left in January, my exams started on February, so she needn't have stayed, but hindsight is 20/20. Fun times, right?
Play stupid games-
Edit:Also nice how he neglected to say his wife had a miscarriage and nearly died, I thought the relationship was dead in the beginning from how the husband was describing it, well no wonder.
It wasn't a miscarriage, which happens in the first trimester. It was a stillbirth, a baby who died in the womb at full term, where she had a full labor to deliver it, knowing it was dead.
@@shells500tutubo And nearly died herself delivering that lost child ! But she was supposed to get over that super fast to take care of the home , the children and most importantly getting his willy wet. 😡
Wow. Love how he phrased the bringing them home to the basement was her idea so he didn't spend money on hotels when it was actually him who spent $700 on a whole weekend bangfest and said if she didn't like it she has to let him use the basement instead. What a POS. Also he apparently loves her so much that when she tried to sleep with him through this whole open marriage he said no because he had someone else coming or he was too tired from having sex with someone else. Like even in an open marriage you would think you would choose your wife and tell the person coming over not to come. But no he didn't want his wife anymore he had the best of both worlds. Got to sleep around in his own home while his wife stayed dutiful and loyal to him. Doubt he stayed quiet because if he's that disrespectful I don't believe he would care if anyone heard. He probably wanted to her to hear to rub it in her face by showing how he pleased other women and how she wasn't lucky enough to be one of them. Then when she decided to open her end he all of a sudden switches the narrative and is trying to win her back. What a POS.
Bet he also loved telling her about it and watching her agony until she told him to stop.
omg yes he LOVED her suffering. he doesnt have love for any person involved in this, and i include the kids. they definitely knew what he was doing.
Oh don't you love it when the OP gets destroyed by the truth coming out? 🤣
What a disgusting detail to leave out of his original post- then tries to deny to the wife that he ever posted to Reddit! What a prize....
When Pandora opened her box, she immediately tried to close the box to prevent the situation from getting worse. Closing it just fast enough to trap Hope
There are different versions where Hope escapes. But I get your point.
OPs wife posted her version about opening up the marriage. She had to give birth to their kid who passed away and she almost died. She couldn’t have intimacy with him and that’s why she rejected him. He told her since she couldn’t do her job as a wife he like to open up the marriage. She said ok and he spent $700 in hotels then eventually used basement. She met this guy and has fallen for him. She didn’t know what to do and didn’t want to close up the marriage since he didn’t appreciate her.
Oooo...this is just insane. Imagine only hearing the husband's part, never even knowing how much he left out of his post... Smh.
I wish her happiness. Honestly
@@rhyswheeler858 Neither are saints. Call it as it is. OP is a real douche. He’s far more a rag than the wife is. I don’t blame her reactions to op one bit.
🤦🏻♀️
@@rhyswheeler858 Dude. When dealing with anyone going through both the physical and mental trauma the wife was going through and you’re still whining and her actions. Op gave no support to his wife when she needed it most. He’s the one who primarily failed. Yet you want to find ways to blame her the exact same way op has.
@@ltyler01 dude don't you get it? Traumatic loss of a child that died inside of you is JUST as bad as not getting laid. At least that's what @Rhys Wheeler is trying to say.
What kind pf heartless monster brings home girls after his wife give birth to stillborn?
the one who sees his wife as a birth machine / sex machine / maid
nannybang maid.
also he fits the archetype of men dont like women. they like to bang women, they just dont like them.
@@amelianekomimi1936 this seems like a "have your cake and eat it too" type
First story:
Wow you would oversee the kids and help with the chores YOU BOTH create, and you expected that to “put her in the mood.” Bc she finally has some free time to relax.
You were not taking her on dates, buying flowers, acting like a romantic partner okkk
“Now she’s shutting me out and it hurts.” No, you shut her in and now you’re mad someone new opened the door. Good for her
Incidents where people both tell their own side of the story, especially in chaotic situations, are always so damn fascinating to me. It's because it's one of the few ways that you get to see someone's thought process and mentality on display, through the implications left by what they include, what they leave out, how they frame a detail, etc. You barely have to do any analysis yourself.
First guy is an absolute tool. He really wants to be upset that his wife is talking to someone? His problem is all he wants is sex, but his wife wanted intimacy. I hope wife has an amazing future with someone else because that guy doesn’t deserve to be married.
Wow, that update from the wife. What a garbage human being that guy is. I mean he was a fool to begin with but it just got worse.
Also, who are the other people that would agree to be with a person in the open marriage? That just seems like too much unneeded drama.
I know Reddit had flaws, but my favorite
is when Reddit can tell the person is a piece of crap even when the OP tries to seem sympathetic.
How many Reddit stories have we seen of someone wanting to open the marriage, whether it be the husband or wife, and then they get upset when when their partner actually starts seeing/sleeping other people.
Because they actually think they are so great that people will line up for them and think their partner is just so lucky to be with them. And often this allows their partner to actually see what a healthy relationship is.
@@alichamay7012 Yes, it seem to be the pattern that once the one who didn't want to open the marriage is hurt so much by their partner flaunting their escapades they will stop caring and they start looking elsewhere. The one who didn't want to open the marriage is usually monogamous by nature which usually leads them to finding someone to have a real relationship with. That's the point where the one who opened the marriage starts feeling the my give a damn's busted and they are happier other partner vibe from their SO and realizes they messed up and backpedals to close the relationship. At that point it's usually too late because the one who didn't want the open marriage already has feelings for their other partner and won't close the relationship.
10:25 JFC, this is where I go from being disgusted with the husband to going into absolute rage mode!
He practically ripped her heart out and stomped on it with cleats after she experienced something so traumatic!
The Guy in this relationship just wrecked his marriage. And his reaction is laughable. The truth was, he wanted to screw with other woman, but hoped his wife wouldn't do the same. He knew he would be an assholes if he asked a one side open relationship, but truth is, he wanted that. I hope his wife leaves him.
It was more than that; he doesn't seem to have provided her with emotional support or understanding of what she endured when she lost the baby. He's completely disconnected from her; no empathy, no compassion. Did he even grieve? Probably not a lot. She will be healthier without that trash.
@@rhyswheeler858 we got to know about the miscarriage from the wife. That itself proves how much he was sincere
@@rhyswheeler858 funny how he never once even said she had to go thru delivering a dead baby & almost died. He has shown no caring about her in posts untill he got to part about her finding a man that made her feel good. He should of done that. Did he do things that are romantic with her? Bring her flowers, gifts, dinner? Nope he helped with house chores & kids then expected sex in return, what a turn off. He should of been doing that all along for her, not just to get laid.
@@rhyswheeler858 What is wrong with you? Feminist bullshit? Your parents raised you wrong - shame on them for being slackers. Just look at the big picture - he took it on his way. He has shown no empathy or caring. He wants everything on HIS terms. This has nothing to do with feminism, because there are a lot of men (clearly not you) who understand the depth of despair a woman goes through under those circumstances.
@@rhyswheeler858 that rule doesn't apply when you are anonymous. Well things are different if one is deliberately hiding info for gaining sympathy
Once a marriage is opened, it can never really be closed. Inevitably, one partner is always going to find someone who they prefer more, or they simply won't want to go back to being monogamous. People need to stop presenting open relationships as the solution that is going to save a relationship. If your interest and your eye is on somebody else, just break up.
This. Absolutely this👍
It's RARE that it works. Either both having same mentality from start or decades of life together and everything else is well except sex. But even that point there can be no secrets and trust between has to be 100%.
You really don't have thay after few yrs of dating and such.
And of course intimacy will bring some emotions, hard to avoid.
It has become misused term for cowards
Usually its the person who doesn't want the open relationship who finds someone better. The person pursuing open relationships aren't going to find long term material.
Frankly, him denying the posts is what looks the worst to me, i have seen that kind of cowardice face to face, and its impossible to respect someone after that
Funny thing about this post is that op was already the AH without wife's post. She simply reinforced what the vast majority of people thought he was.
Yeah OP absolutely made his bed… in the basement… with a bunch of random other people… while his wife and children were sleeping upstairs… sometimes multiple times a week.
Only thing I can think of for this is: play stupid games, win stupid prizes, that's said alot on here, but it fits this perfect
Unless a relationship starts off open, it should never go that way.
Notice how he framed it as something happening to him, instead of him pushing for an open relationship and lacking in communication. If she gets someone who is better for her, he can’t say crap about it.
"Please don't make me feel guiltier"
No
Oh give me a break dude! He only wants the wife back because she found someone. Boy bye!! You get married it's for life, love, vows, partnership.. This might be TMI but I haven't had sex with my husband in 2mths, a health reason, and we are still the same! Cuddle up, he tells me how much he loves me, how beautiful I am.. Yes I feel bad that I can't right now but he looks at me and says having me with him is all that matters to him, not the bedroom... I would NEVER EVER hurt my husband by opening it up.. Gross!!
Guess this guy is on the finding out end of “F%!# around and find out.” 🤷🏻♀️
Edit: wow, the longer this video goes goes on, the worse it gets. OP is a totally self-centered child.
That man was bad in the first post and then it went on into full on dumpster 🔥
I'm actually involved with the poly/kink community, and this dude would quickly become a pariah if he tried coming in. Enthusiastic consent is a pretty big deal here, and most poly people insist on meeting the partner at least once if just to ask if they're okay with this. I'm pretty sure every woman I know in this circle would not just dump MOp, but ream him out, rip him a new one, and then make sure the wife was okay, taken care of and had the support network she needed.
For your opinion on the wife’s relationship… She said she *_started_* that to make her husband jealous. It became real, quickly after he actually treated her like a human being.
Her whole relationship isn’t to spite her husband, it’s a legit relationship and she should not be forced to give up the only person that’s treated her like she’s not garbage.
@ 16:43 "Thanks guys, and sorry for getting you involved in our personal business." This makes about as much sense as a band apologizing to an audience in a bar for playing music for them.
Bruh first rule of an open relationship: you don't bring the other people home 🤣 good for her for getting a guy that appreciates her
No. The first rule of an open relationship is make sure that you and your partner are in a good place with lots of open communication.
@@GonzalezKoerber that's the basis of any relationship period
@@rubymeaddle
True, but I do believe that you really need a strong base on how to communicate before ever considering opening up your relationship. That communication better be sturdy. It's required.
Wow… this story is…🤯😳😿 Good on the Wife calling OP out! 💚😺
I am in an ethical non monogamous relationship (open marriage) and this man is trash.
He doesn't care about his wife, he doesn't care about the women he sleeps with, and he doesn't care about his children. Just awful.
I love when you prepare a full story along with the clap back from the accused!!! I just love it!!
Looks like this guy doesn't know how not to lie. "I never wrote that". Well those details be VERY specific my dude
Edit: wait, he had to "improvise" with the kids because mum wasn't home? There was me mistaking him for their father.
*How do you lose a woman:* You forget to cherish her.
OP forgot to cherish his wife _and_ gave her leave to find someone who would.
Ops-wife-an open relationship goes 2 ways
Op- surprised pikachu face
I love hearing these stories where one person wanted to "open the marriage" and it backfires on them. I feel absolutely no remorse for the OP
Funny how the one that regrets it the most is the one that came up with the idea.
I’ve never been in a non monogamous relationship, but from what I hear, being in an open relationship requires MORE work, communication and emotional investment. It’s not the same as dehumanizing and punishing a partner because you aren’t getting enough sex. My guess is that if it’s not an agreement right from the start, the next best shot would be opening the relationship when the couple is at their best, not at their worst
Yea! Glad i listened to the end before my comment! RUN! Leave Him At The Curb! He is Selfish! He Knows How to get whatever he wants! He has no empathy for others! He Lies(not my post)! Next Time he feels the need to "open the relationship" it Will Be an Affair!(no chance she'll find someone better) He learned how much She Does for the family & home(while gone for the weekend)!
People like Him are the Reason for the phrase "in sickness" & "for worse" were put in the marriage ceremony(contract) These SHOULD Be Expected Actions but obviously not to Some People!😢💕
I keep hearing about open relationships and open marriages.
I will keep saying the same thing: An open marriage will only survive IF they had an open relationship to begin with from beginning. Not, something that can change for the latter.
LG you need to post more of these enjoy listening to how pathetic people can be!
I love how the husband complained that his wife didn't give him sex when she tried
Now she was giving it to another dude and the husband got jelly
So, synopsis… dude has decided he wants some strange. He breaks it to wifey (she whose feelings do not matter AT ALL) and, assuming that only he (whose feelings are the ONLY ones that matter) and starts fucking his way through his city… meanwhile wifey, who actually has self respect, found a man who actually appears to give a shit about her, and we are supposed to feel sorry that wife is now very happy and OP not so much. He did this, and actually has the audacity to say he loves her soooo much so she should be totally with him and unhappy yet again like he wants. She will ultimately leave him because he showed her he really doesn’t love her, he just wants his backup lay/servant back.
I've never been so happy to see someone getting a divorce. She absolutely deserves to be with someone better, her husband is an absolute pos.
If he was expecting sympathy, he found out very quickly that he’s basically the laughing stock of relationships when he posted. Him failing to mention about his wife losing the baby and the trauma her body and mind went though, he needs to take a good long look in the mirror. I’m guessing he will question any future relationships he will have, plus he needs to learn to take the blame.
I am just amazed, how much blatant disrespect some people are ready to take.
Ma'am, you had a still birth and you still wanted to make it work but he wanted to sleep around. Divorce should've been the ONLY OPTION at that point. And I say that while goin thru the exact same situation with my husband. Sex hasn't even crossed his mind!!!!!!!!!!
Gotta say, I love the pic you picked for the preview. And this is a perfect case of two sides, one story.
Story 1: At first I had to question if the wife was looking outside the relationship already before he offered to open up the marriage. then I heard the wife's update. The guy's a jerk.
Advice on helping kids of divorce: first and foremost the parents need to be friendly and on the same page. Second, no blaming or sniping about the other parent EVER! Third, make sure your kids no that this was in no way their fault and you both love them unconditionally. (Your ex husband's posts did not show any care for the children) Talk to and listen to your kids feelings about the divorce. You don't need to give the specific reasons, just that sometimes things don't work out and its better to go separate ways than to be hurt and fighting. Good luck and best wishes for you and the kids. I think you are going to be just fine. Losing a child, no matter at what age is so very hard. It does get easier with time. Allow yourself to grieve but not wallow. Your feelings are justified.
"Even when I helped with the kids and the housework". So, you didn't do that normally. Gee, why did this marriage fail?
This guy isn't interested in actually making his wife happy, he just wants to manipulate her into being in a relationship with him again where he is happy.
Good morning LG. Thanks for the video. I can't understand how anyone thinks opening up their marriage will work in any possible way. Have a great day
The utter lack of empathy and feeling after Losing a child seems like a massive red flag for me. Then there was the gaslighting after she confronted him about the Reddit post. I bet the dude has some of the Dark Triad traits or is a raging child. That relationship could become more dangerous. Glad she got out.
This guy is all 'me me me, wah wah wah'.
Edit: ha. Boom, there it is. I'm so glad the op's wife was able to tell the actual truth on the matter.
The part where he said he helped with chores thinking it would get his wife in the mood. Uhg. You should be helping with chores without trying to get sex out of it.
She needs to divorce him and be with the other person.
Usually the person asking for the open marriage doesn't expect his or her partner to also get laid, they think that they are the only ones getting extra nookie.
I'm not done with the video yet, but I just want to say, if your marriage is broken, opening the marriage or having a baby is not going to fix it. Go to marital counseling and fix your sh!t first.
Funny, even without the wife's side of the story, the dude makes his own self sound terrible. I really hope she leaves him and gives her new guy a chance.
Got to love it when an open marriage backfires especially when the one forced into it finds someone better
My jaw LITERALLY fell open when the wife said their baby had just died. I thought he was scum to begin with, but that's an unbelievably horrible thing to ask for when she's recovering from a stillbirth. What a disgusting excuse for a man.
S1, not sure what advice you are seeking? You want your wife back? So after opening the marriage, you bring women to the basement? Now you find your wife different with one guy, laughter, and complete attitude change? Of course your wife found someone new! Your wife didn't change, you did! Your idea, your actions, your choices! You will have to live with them. Make her end that relationship? She will just take it outside the home. Yes she will cheat. Your marriage died the moment you opened the marriage and destroyed your vows. Good luck
If someone has a low sex drive and that bothers you, don't enter a relationship with them. If you're already in a relationship and they suddenly start changing and seem less interested, sit down and have a conversation about the two of you, not including asking for permission to cheat 🤦♀️
I’m actually picturing this sleeze ball openly whining to his wife “but I helped with the kids, and around the house, so u wouldn’t be 2 tired for sex, y u no sex wif meee?!” While she is curled up in bed next to him trying to rest. After the wife’s update, the image unfortunately changed to include her quietly crying into a baby onesie that was meant for their lost baby. May everyone in this story find whatever they need to be happy.
Story 1: Apparently, she IS in the mood, just not with you.
Tyvm LG. Stay safe please. PEACE
ABANDON THE KIDS!? Because she left them with their father!? What the hell do you mean improvise with the kids? It sounds like she spends a lot more time with them. You are supposed to spend time with your own children so it wouldn’t be strange when it’s just you with them. What is wrong with tou
He’s the kind of guy who would say that he is babysitting his own children, instead of calling It patenting. He is pathetic. The way he sees his marriage; the way he sees his role as a father and husband, , the way he sees the world is just so… transactional, selfish, and not thinking at all about the impact of his actions on his kids.
I’m so glad that the wife told the other side of the story she needs to leave him
If he was like that in your wrote time, leave him. There isn't anything to save. That isn't a man, it's a thing. You deserve better!!
Okay I'm not that into the story yet but I can't imagine, as a polyamorous person, not talking to my partner(s) about our love lives. Communication absolutely makes or breaks non-monogamous relationships
Also, ONLY opening up a monogamous marriage because your wife doesn't want sex that much is a red flag for me.
Oh wow 😯 first OP royally f*cked things up. My heart goes out to the wife.
The OP wife just needs to end this marriage already and go with the new guy. If my husband ever asked about having an open marriage, divorce. We both already agreed to never ask for one, and if someone asks for it, automatic divorce.
The first op should be a comedian, him fumbling up his marriage and pretending like it wasn't him posting about it was the funniest thing I heard all day
The way I just yelled OMG at her post
I would just immediately break up with them if my partner ever suggested an open marriage. I want to be monogamous and just knowing that that's what they want will make feel uneasy, like they're going to try to cheat or are already cheating. Will probably include it in my prenup too so that the divorce will be smoother if my spouse started spewing that bullshit. Who even is this guy that he's having that many hookups, is he trying to hard to flex or just hiring sex workers
A lot of these people should read a book called 'The Love Dare'.
i just heard the wife part on two hot takes! Thank you for providing the husbands!
Can you imagine if this is actually 2 different marriages and the first op hs nothing to do woth the second? That would be a wild conversation to have withbthe husband
My my my ,if this isn't a whole lot of "play stupid games - win stupid prizes" for OP number 1
I roll my eyes multiple times while listening to the husbands bs. He asks for open relationship after 2 months of not having sex? Did I understand it right? Is he a sex addict that he had to absolutely have sex rather than having an actual relationship with his wife? What a selfish excuse of a human.
Some people out there think of s3x as solely a bodily function.
I would have left the second he decided to stray. I’m so sorry for her and the loss of her baby. He didn’t even bring up the death of their child. So unfeeling and callous. So tragic.
Any licensed marriage counselor will tell you that open marriages do not last nor work-in fact, they almost always end very badly... he betrayed his wife and his family for tail. He doesn’t deserve her.
You know, a while back someone told me if the wife is physically incapacitated then it’s her responsibility to still sexually satisfy her husband even if it’s not pleasant. That cheating is the end result of denying sex. BUT, what about For Better and For Worse? She was recovering from a tragic pregnancy and the hormonal shift of PPD-It’s not a walk in the park. He didn’t mention how he tried to help her emotionally recover for herself. It’s all about HIM. IT sounded like the wife needed an emotional connection and assurance, and OP couldn’t give it to her because all her focused was on his sexual needs. If he had swallowed his pride and looked at the whole picture of how physically and emotionally traumatic her situation was-their sex life and romantic life would have improved in recovery.
Nah I don’t think she’s using the new guy to get back at her husband. This new guy helped her heal while her husband was thinking with the wrong head. What a piece of garbage.
This guy seriously has never spent one day taking care of his kids because that is bullshit having to say she is abandoning her kids when she's just having time out for herself what do you say the same goddamn thing if she went out with the girls on a girl's night