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Healthy Ways to Show Anger Without Harm

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  • Опубліковано 28 лют 2023
  • 🔥 How To Release What Is Inside Us, in a way that it is not dangerous or harmful to those around us. In this video, we'll discuss healthy ways to show anger without causing harm. Suppressing or exploding with rage can lead to dangerous consequences, so it's important to learn how to manage and express anger in a healthy way. From communication techniques to stress management, we'll cover effective methods for dealing with anger in a safe and healthy manner. Don't let anger control you, learn to control your anger with these tips.
    🔍 Key Topics Covered:
    🌪️ The video discusses the importance of expressing emotions in a healthy way without suppressing or repressing them.
    🔥 It mentions the concept of "what's in must come out" in relation to creative urges and the need to give expression to what is inside us.
    💪 Healthy anger is described as a boundary defense mechanism that prevents violence and is essential for children's development.
    🤝 The video highlights the negative consequences of suppressing healthy anger, leading to potential health issues like malignancy or autoimmune diseases.
    🔔It suggests finding safe spaces to express and release emotions, whether through therapy, psychedelics, or increased awareness.
    Very Special thanks to Dr. Gabor Mate & André Duqum for sharing their knowledge.
    Full episode: • Healing Trauma in a To...
    🔔 Credit and connect: Very Special Thanks To Dr. Gabor Mate
    🌐 Website: Website: drgabormate.com/
    📸 Instagram:@gabormatemd
    📱 Twitter: @DrGaborMate
    André Duqum
    Instagram: / andreduqum
    Instagram: / knowthyself
    Website: www.knowthysel...
    Clips Channel: www.youtube.co...
    💖 Who is Dr Gabor Mate?
    Dr. Gabor Maté is a retired physician, bestselling author, and well-known speaker who is in high demand for his knowledge of addiction, trauma, stress, and childhood development. He is the author of four best-selling books.
    🙏 FAIR-USE COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER
    * Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, commenting, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.
    #HealthyAnger, #AngerExpression, #AngerManagement,
    #EmotionalWellBeing, #ConflictResolution, #Relationships,
    #PersonalGrowth, #EffectiveCommunication, #GaborMaté, #angermanagement, #UnresolvedAnger, #gabormate, #authenticity, #therealyou. #beyourself, #feelyourfeelings, #drgabormate, #gabormatetrauma, #mentalhealth, #health, #trauma, #love, #selflove, #socialmedia, #pain, #emotionalpain, #addiction, #mindbodyhealth , #drgabormate, #traumagabormate, #mindbodyconnection, your inner child matters,

КОМЕНТАРІ • 200

  • @gojiberry7201
    @gojiberry7201 Рік тому +114

    Holy crap, for 30+ years I believed I had never gotten angry in my life. (I was being treated for depression and anxiety) It wasn't until recently, that I separated from my enmeshed narcissistic parents, that suddenly rage came up so fierce that I felt like I was quivering. The repression is very very bad.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +13

      Thank you for taking the time to share your inspiring journey with us. It takes great courage to confront and handle our feelings, especially after suppressing them for so long. Your experience serves as a reminder that healing is a difficult process, and that admitting our feelings is an important step toward a healthier, happier life. I wish you continuous strength and development on your path to emotional well-being. Keep going; you are not alone on this path. Bless you! 💫💕🙏

    • @gojiberry7201
      @gojiberry7201 Рік тому

      @@yourinnerchildmattersThank you kindly, I subscribed to your channel 👍

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому

      @@gojiberry7201 thank you very much. Have a nice day 💖

    • @laralynxx
      @laralynxx 11 місяців тому +4

      Living with narcissistic parents really traps you. I realized that whenever i go to a vacation or stay away from my parents house, i feel so peaceful and can actually enjoy it when i talk to my father. I know there are much worse cases where people can't communicate with their parents even with a healthy distance. But i believe i can finally have a reasonably healthy relationship with my father after i move out (i hope). I'm happy that you freed yourself

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  11 місяців тому +2

      @@laralynxx I feel very grateful that you shared your personal story with us. You are quite brave to acknowledge the impact of living with narcissistic parents and to actively attempt to improve your connection with your dad. Distance can sometimes provide a fresh perspective and an opportunity for each individual to grow as persons.
      It's important to remember that healing and transformation take time, and it's wonderful that you're positive about the future. Believe in your abilities to set boundaries and create a healthier relationship after you've moved out. Your journey may serve as an inspiration to others who are in similar situations.Remember that you are not alone in this, and your strength may be reflected in your willingness to heal and grow. Best wishes on your journey to a more peaceful relationship with your dad! 🌟❤🙏

  • @1992Xenomorph
    @1992Xenomorph 11 місяців тому +47

    I honestly believe this whole world is suffering from unresolved anger but because today we are not allowed to express or let out our anger for fear of what others think. Anger and stress is contagious.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  11 місяців тому +2

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's interesting to think about how society norms have changed, influencing how we communicate our feelings. While it is important that we find healthy ways to process and share anger, it is also important to establish a balance between expressing ourselves and being thoughtful of others. Anger and tension, for example, can have a domino effect on others around us. Exploring options such as open conversations and mindfulness may help us positively address and control these feelings. Let us work together to create an environment in which everyone's feelings are addressed while also encouraging empathy and understanding.🙏✨💖

    • @cyndijoylee
      @cyndijoylee 6 місяців тому +2

      I am66 years old.I was an abandoned then adopted then ignored and verbally and physically abused child. And went on to two other significant relationships one where I was ignored and disregarded and the next where I was emotionally. And verbally and so,times physically abused.
      Growing up I lived in an angry household . Parents who hated each other.
      Now. I live alone for the last 16 years.
      I’m realizing how much resentment I have. Towards myself in many ways but to many people who should n
      Have been caregivers and protectors.
      I need to find a way to end the resentment.
      Yes I know..forgive and forget.
      Tell me please by what actual process do I do that?

    • @karanluthra551
      @karanluthra551 Місяць тому

      EMOTIONAL Freedom Techniques is exactly a blessing for the same. Or praying and accepting the sin of anger

  • @Autism_Forever
    @Autism_Forever 8 місяців тому +9

    I used to do kickboxing so I do not have to kill my ex. I was the only woman in the group. When guys asked me why I am doing this I said - to relax so I do not have to commit murder - and there was this look of dismay on their faces :))) Jokes aside martial arts can have very relaxing and healing effect both on the mind and on the body.

  • @houndmother2398
    @houndmother2398 Рік тому +50

    We weren't allowed to express emotions in our family. Particularly anger. So surprisingly, I ended up with anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder when I was 19. I have panic attacks from not being able to express myself.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +10

      I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you've went through as a child. It takes a lot of courage to talk about your experiences. Keep in mind that you are not alone, and that there are individuals who understand and support you. Expressing one's feelings is an important aspect of healing, and getting professional support can make a major impact in anxiety and depression management. Keep going on your path to recovery and self-expression. Continue making progress and thank you for sharing your story💫💕🙏

    • @gojiberry7201
      @gojiberry7201 Рік тому +6

      Same. Unless you were the parent -- you could be angry at the kid for being angry. F---ed up rules

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +1

      @@gojiberry7201 thanks for sharing

    • @FaithFashionFinances
      @FaithFashionFinances 10 місяців тому +3

      I can relate

    • @gigicolada
      @gigicolada 7 місяців тому +1

      Do you have stomach issues too?

  • @minnie5301
    @minnie5301 Рік тому +50

    That is interesting about Marshall Arts. I had been through VA and a while after I escaped, I started Karate. It was so much more to me than I ever thought. Not purely physical defence but mental /spiritual. People assumed it would make me aggressive but it was the polar opposite. I have never felt more quietly aware. As somebody who had previously swallowed that anger, it started to release. It is amazing how non violent MA can be. The self discipline and fitness took me somewhere I had never been before

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +5

      Thank you for sharing your insights. It's very encouraging to hear about your transformational martial arts journey. It shows the significant impact it may have on both the body and the mind. Your story shows the common misperception that martial arts create violence when, in fact, they frequently lead to increased self-awareness and peace of mind. The combination of physical discipline and mental and spiritual growth is a powerful combination. Continue to embrace the good transformations and self-discovery that martial arts offer to your life! 🥋🙏 bless you

    • @alessandraalchemia3863
      @alessandraalchemia3863 Рік тому

      Can I ask which type of MA did you start with? I am a beginner and considering to start as well and interested in your perspective. I need help with this spirituality bc I’m consumed with grief and hatred for how I was treated in my past.

    • @minnie4218
      @minnie4218 Рік тому +5

      @@alessandraalchemia3863 I did Karate. Oddly enough it was all the Katas ( set series of moves) and the all the up and down drills which helped the most. Discipline and concentration was immense. Imaginging seeing your attacker in front of you. Then when sparring it comes together. I have heard though that many ma works. They all require that focus. Now im old I may try Tai Chi
      Good luck with your choice. Enjoy !

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +2

      @@alessandraalchemia3863 I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties; meditation can help with emotions like grief and hatred. Remember that this is a slow process, so be gentle with yourself. Best wishes on your spiritual path!🙏

  • @tazzywazzy7599
    @tazzywazzy7599 8 місяців тому +6

    Whenever children aren't allowed to express their true feelings, their made to feel unworthy and shamed

    • @tnt01
      @tnt01 5 місяців тому +1

      100%😢

  • @NuLiForm
    @NuLiForm Рік тому +19

    there are no words adequate enough to express my Gratitude for this video....Thank You. Blessings on You & Yours.

  • @jamiewilliams8107
    @jamiewilliams8107 Рік тому +12

    A friend of mine has repressed anger and its causing him to be anxious over all sorts of stuff,he worries for the sake of it.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +1

      Hello, and thank you for sharing your friend experience. Repressed anger can appear in many different kinds of ways, including anxiety and excessive worry. Encourage your friend to open up and seek appropriate outlets for the feelings they are experiencing. Remember that receiving professional treatment from a therapist or counselor can be very helpful. Take care💕🙏

    • @crh251
      @crh251 10 місяців тому +2

      Jamie, I have found that journaling 10 to 15 minutes a day about my anger has really helped. You can tell your friend that. I write and write without fixing errors and when I’m done, I rip up the paper so no one else ever sees it.

  • @neetaarora7908
    @neetaarora7908 Рік тому +20

    Absolutely so and so important for all of us to understand and deal with it....at any stage. Thankyou for this.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +7

      Thank you for watching, bless you

    • @neetaarora7908
      @neetaarora7908 Рік тому +7

      @@yourinnerchildmatters it's a blessing to have and watch videos on such aspects.

  • @Dana-mb1hd
    @Dana-mb1hd Рік тому +73

    I wish dr gabor was my psychologist! I would pay any amount of money!

    • @dd81807
      @dd81807 Рік тому +15

      You don’t have to , he is giving you free advice .

    • @anitachojnacki4512
      @anitachojnacki4512 Рік тому +4

      Meeee toooooo

    • @anitachojnacki4512
      @anitachojnacki4512 Рік тому +6

      Actually he has been for 3 months and still today yippee

    • @RyanTford
      @RyanTford Рік тому +2

      SAME

    • @mollycote1021
      @mollycote1021 Рік тому +2

      Ditto ‼️‼️‼️💯💯💯💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @xenotbbbeats7209
    @xenotbbbeats7209 Рік тому +26

    I'm no clinician but it seems obvious that unresolved anger is a form of self-harm. You can't win by harboring rage, and the only one who is harmed is the one within whom that rage resides.

    • @jollymollyramram9702
      @jollymollyramram9702 Рік тому +4

      True. I think a lot of people have a difficult time expressing anger in the right way where you end up feeling better rather than drained. I find a good way to start is to do it small by always saying yes when I mean it and no when it’s a no. Imo it prevents the build-up anger/frustration. But slamming a door can feel pretty good too once in a while (I live alone)😅

    • @xenotbbbeats7209
      @xenotbbbeats7209 Рік тому +1

      I'm being tested right now by my chain-smoking neighbor as I type this.🤣

    • @tazzywazzy7599
      @tazzywazzy7599 8 місяців тому +1

      They also harm their children because their toxic and dysfunctional

  • @bmac5576
    @bmac5576 Рік тому +8

    Dr. Gabor’s concluding comment that people with explosive anger can only be helped if they recognize that they need help, and usually think they don’t need it, is true. However, this leaves partners and children in explosive relationships in peril as the violence they suffer from those WHO NEED HELP is epidemic and tolerated in our culture.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому

      thanks for watching and thank you for sharing insight. You have definitely brought up an important topic. The difficulty is not just identifying the need for assistance, but also dealing with the consequences of explosive rage on others around you. This necessitates a collaborative effort to change the cultural attitude for such acts and protect the safety of all those involved. bless you

  • @TamagoEgg
    @TamagoEgg Рік тому +5

    Dr Gabor is right, however the context is nuance.
    The problem is that when we open up about our concern and what we are angry about. People react negatively than positively because of their shame and that enforces the idea of not opening up to them anymore. I may open up to others who tries to validate my perspective, doesn't have to agree to it but not being defensive when I state the problem.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +1

      You have definitely brought up an important topic. Dr. Gabor's insights are helpful and it is important to understand the complexities of opening up. Validating points of view without being defensive can promote understanding and growth. It's about finding people who actually support us, making the sharing process more productive.

  • @Paradys8
    @Paradys8 7 місяців тому +5

    Yes, but HOW exactly to express healthy anger?

  • @aphroditeaw4423
    @aphroditeaw4423 Рік тому +9

    Holy cow! I found this tonight, it just popped up. I started working on my inner child wounds this week. Well, I thought I had been but after a major incident the week before I knew I had deeper work to do. This has been tremendously helpful and I look forward to learning more! Thank you!

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +1

      It makes my day happy to hear you're finding the content useful! Working with our inner child traumas can be a life-changing experience. Keep in mind that healing takes time and self-compassion. Continue to embrace the process, and we'll be supporting you on every step of the way. Thank you for sharing your experience with us! ✨🌈💖

  • @princemishkin1601
    @princemishkin1601 Рік тому +9

    I don't but Gabor's thesis that ALL anger is healthy. Narcissists get angry when other people draw boundaries because narcs feel entitled to be in other people's space and to cross other people's boundaries at will. Narcs also become angry when challenged in any way, or criticised - this is not healthy, but pathalogical.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +2

      thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. While some anger can be constructive, it is important to understand that not all anger is truly healthy. When dealing with narcissists, their rage is generally motivated by a sense of entitlement and an inability to take criticism. This form of rage is pathological rather than productive. Boundaries and constructive communication are necessary for maintaining healthy interactions. Thanks again and have a nice day

    • @princemishkin1601
      @princemishkin1601 Рік тому +1

      @@yourinnerchildmattersThank you for this comment - I agree and just wish that Gabor had emphasised what you have just done above.

  • @shashi3072
    @shashi3072 10 місяців тому +3

    Self awareness to observe emotions is a meditation called vipassana. There are many centre's around the world that teaches this technique.

  • @eligualnam8975
    @eligualnam8975 8 місяців тому +3

    Thank you. I needed so much...I have been struggling with my volcanic anger

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  7 місяців тому

      Thank you so much for taking the time watching the video! ✨💖🙏

  • @ElevatedVibration11
    @ElevatedVibration11 Рік тому +13

    This is fantastic advice. Keep creating you're doing great work!

  • @AlastorTheNPDemon
    @AlastorTheNPDemon 8 місяців тому +2

    I've been working with infernal gods ("demons"), and seven of them have either told me outright or indicated that my anger is problematic to the point of very real danger. I have no idea what to do with it; I don't feel it nor can I command it forth with memories of being victimized or seeing others victimized. I only have access to it at random times of the day - I often wake up frustrated - or when someone is rude to me, in which case I have immediate homocidal ideation that lasts for DAYS ON END.

  • @nickbaigent2714
    @nickbaigent2714 Рік тому +19

    I was really hoping that Gabor would give some methods or techniques for releasing anger. But he didn’t seem to suggest how to express anger in a healthy way. Awareness doesn’t seem to be enough if the anger is repressed and unavailable. I’d be very grateful for any suggestions that anyone has found to be effective 🙏

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +3

      I completely understand your point of view. While Gabor's perspectives on awareness are important, addressing the practical issues of expressing anger in a healthy way is also important. It is important to discover healthy strategies to express and manage anger. Mindfulness, deep breathing, journaling, and engaging in physical activities can all help with successfully processing and directing anger. Remember, it's all about finding out what works best for you. 🌟🧘‍♂️

    • @nickbaigent2714
      @nickbaigent2714 Рік тому +3

      Totally, Gabor’s perspectives on awareness are spot on, and he’s a truly wonderful teacher 🙏
      I find Anger/rage expression to be a tricky subject because it can be toxic if it’s expressed OR repressed. So, What you said is so true, just have to find what works best for me.
      Sometimes this issue of releasing repressed emotions is like a hall of mirrors, and all I want is transparency

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +1

      @@nickbaigent2714 thanks for sharing your thoughts wit us. Bless you 💕🙏💕🙏

    • @lollylula6399
      @lollylula6399 Рік тому +1

      @@nickbaigent2714 Journaling really helps me express anger in a healthy way. I let myself write freely whatever wants to come out, even now I can still be surprised at what comes out - like I didn't realise all that is inside. With anger some of it can be awful, aggressive, the worst language etc, but I just write until I feel I've written everything I need to about the situations/people/my feelings. Just the process of doing this gives me deeper understandings of myself, why I'm feeling the way I do, if I need to do anything. Then if I need to speak to others about, it because I've gotten it all out with myself, I feel more confident in being able to maintain my composure whilst speaking with them and I can more clearly speak to them because I'm clearer in myself. I buy really cheap writing paper/notebooks so I feel freer to just get it all out. Also, I find afterwards I don't particularly need to keep much of the writing & especially with the angry stuff I wouldn't want to upset others if they read it so I burn it afterwards. I can't recommend journaling enough.

    • @MainelyLove
      @MainelyLove Рік тому +5

      For me the most difficult part is letting myself feel the anger. If it's about the past, the action to release it has to be symbolic of course. Once I let myself get angry, and took a rolled up magazine and whacked on a countertop while I spoke/shouted what I was angry about. And afterwards I felt a little bit lighter.

  • @bobsmith9261
    @bobsmith9261 3 місяці тому

    This is a fantastic video about "why" or "how" we get angry and an enlightening insight into the relationship between frustration and aggression. The only problem is that the title of this video is "Healthy Ways to Show Anger Without Harm." There is not one single offering of ways to Show Anger Without Harm. There is a brief discussion about getting therapy (asking for help) and even a recommendation (4:20) on how to be aware of the anger to focus on mindfulness or activities that encourage mindfulness (i.e. martial arts).

  • @izawaniek2568
    @izawaniek2568 10 місяців тому +1

    Thank you dr Mate. Your help and support are invaluable.

  • @elsbethgross4675
    @elsbethgross4675 Рік тому +4

    So much to understand about our inner child. Thank you.
    o much to understand about the inner child.

  • @dbruce5760
    @dbruce5760 8 місяців тому +3

    I am unhealthy and dying inside because I am greiving so much, angry, sad, depressed, and no longer knoe who I am. Meds screw me up and mental and emotional therapy seems to be all money related or taking your rights away because they think you are crazy when you are just hurt and lost.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  8 місяців тому +1

      I'd like to express my sincere sympathies for what you're going through right now. It takes big bravery to share such personal struggles, and I appreciate your openness. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way, and I'd like you to know you're not alone. When grief, anger, sadness, and depression become overwhelming, it's disheartening, and I understand the frustration with medications and the difficulties in finding supportive mental and emotional therapy. It's important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and that your feelings are valid. If you ever need someone to talk to or have something specific you'd like to share, please don't hesitate to reach out to us. Remember that healing is a process, and it's okay to start small. Your well-being is important to me, and I'm here to help in any way I can.

    • @dbruce5760
      @dbruce5760 7 місяців тому

      @@yourinnerchildmatters thank you so much. That does mean so much to me. I am still making my journey one day at a time.

  • @flywitch26
    @flywitch26 Рік тому +2

    Thank you ❤

  • @shawnmendrek3544
    @shawnmendrek3544 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you both.

  • @Emi-jy5ct
    @Emi-jy5ct Рік тому +4

    Hey ;) Thank you for your work and the effort of putting these videos together! Really helpful!

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +1

      Glad you like them! thank you so much for your kind words. Bless you💖💖💖

  • @annieesther8405
    @annieesther8405 Рік тому +5

    I just want to mention that some people have the capacity to help those who need to heal from childhood wounds other than psychologists. Plus, we need a support circle or else we drown in our misery. I asked for help from people who have the ability to help but I was ignored instead. I desperately need people to give me some sort of emotional support in order to get through this. Please don't tell people to just back off and leave people like me all alone. It makes things way worse for us. I am not expecting them to become my psychologists, but at least give me some positive thoughts and encouragement so I can make it through.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +3

      I absolutely understand and respect your viewpoint. It is important to recognize that people other than psychologists can provide valuable help on the path to healing from childhood wounds. Creating a strong support group can make all the difference in overcoming difficulties. I'm sorry to hear that you were neglected despite seeking out for assistance. Remember that asking for emotional support does not mean that you want others to be psychologists, but a kind word or encouraging thought can go a long way toward giving the courage needed to go through difficult circumstances. Stay strong and remember that there are people who care about you and want you to achieve your goals🌟 💫💕🙏

    • @annieesther8405
      @annieesther8405 Рік тому +1

      I am grateful for those who do care. Thank you.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +2

      @@annieesther8405 likewise

    • @amandalee1867
      @amandalee1867 11 місяців тому +1

      I completely agree Annie ❤

  • @FaithFashionFinances
    @FaithFashionFinances 10 місяців тому +7

    The root of my anger has come from being ending toxic relationships,and if we don’t address our feelings in a healthy way the feelings can consume us and we feel overwhelmed.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  10 місяців тому +1

      I hear you, and I'm sad to hear you've had to deal with toxic relationships. Indeed, our emotions can be very overpowering, but dealing with them in a healthy way is an important first step toward healing and finding peace. You are not alone on this journey, and I am just here if you want to talk about or share more at any time. Take care.🙏✨💖

  • @jewel2022now
    @jewel2022now Рік тому +3

    Love your work. Thank you

  • @searchforserenity8058
    @searchforserenity8058 3 місяці тому +1

    When all you see around you is people expressing anger in harmful ways, you develop an illusion that "anger" equals "harm". You don't ever learn to associate anger as an unmet need. I suppressed my anger because I bought the illusion. I am terrified of other people's anger for that same reason. I was hoping Dr. Mate would provide or demonstrate "healthy anger", but he did not. He needs to. This is our "missing piece". We don't believe you can express healthy anger because WE HAVE NEVER SEEN IT DONE! So don't really know how. Awareness is definitely important, but this does no good if you don't know what to do with it.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  3 місяці тому

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It's eye-opening to hear how our surroundings can influence our views on anger.

  • @kenedinwajei2289
    @kenedinwajei2289 8 місяців тому +1

    Great info ❤

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  8 місяців тому

      Thank you so much for taking the time watching the video! ✨💖🙏

  • @mackiceicukice
    @mackiceicukice Рік тому +7

    Wonderful. i would much rather watch Gabor’s face than those random images. Still , thank you very much.

  • @havadatequila
    @havadatequila Рік тому +3

    Good therapy is categorically different than a psychedelic experience or the observation of an emotion.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому

      Absolutely! Good therapy differentiates itself from both psychedelic experiences and purely emotional insights. Each has its own set of benefits, but therapy provides a guided and structured approach to self-discovery and healing.🌟
      thanks for sharing your thoughts. bless you!

  • @arrabih2001
    @arrabih2001 Рік тому +9

    I had anger problem i am a mother of 2. Few times almost get divorce because of easily erupted by small things easily annoyed. I when to do test apparently i had major depression and anxiety. But i couldn't finish the session because my partner thought i was crazy and lost my mind asking outsider to help me. I was desperately needed help to get rid of this destructive behavior. i feel really bad for my kids having me as toxic mother....

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +16

      Individuals deal with their anger sentiments through a number of conscious and unconscious mechanisms. There are three approaches: expressing, suppressing, and calming. The healthiest approach to communicate anger is in an assertive, rather than aggressive, manner. To do so, you must learn how to express your desires and how to get them met without hurting others. Being assertive does not imply being forceful or demanding; rather, it implies respecting yourself and others.
      Anger can be controlled before it can be turned or redirected. This occurs when you suppress your anger, stop thinking about it, and concentrate on something positive. The goal is to control or restrain your anger and redirect it into more beneficial action. The problem with this type of reaction is that if it is not allowed to show itself outwardly, your anger can shift inward-on yourself. Anger directed inward can result in hypertension, high blood pressure, and depression.
      Anger that is not voiced might lead to other issues. It can result in pathological forms of rage, such as passive-aggressive behavior (reacting to someone indirectly, without explaining why, rather than confronting them directly) or a personality that appears eternally sarcastic and angry. Individuals who are continually knocking others down, criticizing everything, and making sarcastic remarks haven't learned how to express their anger constructively. They are unlikely to have many successful partnerships, which is not unexpected.
      Finally, you may relax on the inside. This includes not just regulating your outward actions, but also your internal responses, such as taking steps to lower your pulse rate, calm yourself down, and allow the feelings to pass.
      Simple relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and peaceful imagery, can help reduce anger. There are books and classes available that may teach you relaxation techniques, and once you've learned them, you can use them in any situation.
      These are some basic steps you can take:
      Deep breathing from your diaphragm will relax you; breathing from your chest will not. Visualize your breath rising from your "gut." Repeat a soothing word or phrase slowly, such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while taking deep breaths. Employ imagery; picture a soothing experience from your memories or imagination. Slow, non-strengthening yoga-like exercises will relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
      Use these techniques on a daily basis. Learn to use them automatically in stressful situations.
      Wishing you all the best.
      ❤🙏

    • @mdbruhn
      @mdbruhn 10 місяців тому +2

      When I was a young mother, which was some decades ago, I became aware I was reacting way too angrily to naughty things my children were doing. I wanted to change this pattern, but it seemed out of my control to do so. I felt guilty a lot of the time and desperately wanted to act differently. I was very concerned about how my inappropriate anger was going to effect my children in the long term. Once I accepted my 'normal' anger wasn't actually 'normal', given the situation, I found a counsellor. It seemed at first , as though I was acknowledging I was a failure, and this felt so uncomfortable, but eventually as I reached out for help things changed. I had a place to safely share how my my displaced anger scared me, and my counsellor helped me look into the roots of my childhood trauma experiences. It took courage to face my past and my present, but if I had not done so, I would have continued to pass on to my children, the anger/rage which had been passed on to me. John Bradshaw was quoted as saying, "what you don't pass back, you will pass on". I believe this to be so.

    • @stefaniakonstantinidou981
      @stefaniakonstantinidou981 10 місяців тому

      It s unbelievable, but Jesus restored my self and my relationships. I suffered from ptsd, anger, depression and was about to divorce with husband. Now my husband can t believe I m the same person, we love and respect one another. Ask and you shall receive. There s a living God waiting for us

  • @aspartamekillsyaknow9019
    @aspartamekillsyaknow9019 Рік тому +4

    I admit that as men, we deal with what is called uncontrollable anger our whole lives

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +4

      Emotions are a part of being human, and learning to control them is very important for growth as an individual. Everyone, regardless of gender, should work on understanding and managing their emotions in healthy ways.👍

    • @aspartamekillsyaknow9019
      @aspartamekillsyaknow9019 Рік тому

      @@yourinnerchildmatters I appreciate that and I'll be mindful of my words to the best of my ability, so let me put it this way: People born with testicles have it worse, even if they decided to take estrogen.

    • @user-ej5jc5dk1e
      @user-ej5jc5dk1e Рік тому +3

      So how a man should deal with it ?
      My brother is complaing a lot lately that he feels very aggressive and very anry .We were brought up in a home were we had to suppress all feelings . Good and bad .We got got a clear & a loud message that we ae not to have any needs or wants .

    • @aspartamekillsyaknow9019
      @aspartamekillsyaknow9019 Рік тому

      @@user-ej5jc5dk1e is he on dope?

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +2

      @@user-ej5jc5dk1e Hello there, and thank you for sharing your experience." It sounds like your brother is dealing with the consequences of your upbringing's suppression of emotions. It is important for him to acknowledge and validate the feelings he has, especially his anger. Encourage open conversation and seek expert support, such as counselling, to better understand and manage these feelings. Best wishes to both of you on your journey of self-discovery and healing 💕🙏

  • @Rosa-vn6vm
    @Rosa-vn6vm 8 місяців тому

    Volcano. It was ok to be angry to argue and humor but never ever be weak. Crying was ridiculed. Not allowed to feel sad and always disappointing everyone,

  • @user-nc4zn8do3k
    @user-nc4zn8do3k Місяць тому +1

    Danke gabor Mate

  • @denniswhite3487
    @denniswhite3487 11 місяців тому +8

    Parents should be licensed .

  • @dbruce5760
    @dbruce5760 8 місяців тому +2

    I care for everyone but me.

  • @cyny6305
    @cyny6305 11 місяців тому +1

    Still not seeing the how. How to express, please? Please don't let these by adverts for books.

  • @lauracowan100
    @lauracowan100 Рік тому +1

    How do i protect myself if my partner has anger problems? X

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому +1

      Dealing with a partner's anger issues can be difficult. Encourage open conversations about their anger and consider going to treatment together. Above all, prioritize your safety and well-being. If you ever feel threatened, don't be afraid to contact professionals or hotlines. Take care. Remember that your health is the most important thing.💕🙏

    • @crh251
      @crh251 10 місяців тому +1

      Laura, my husband has anger issues too. Not toward me but about dumb silly things. I’ve learned to walk away. I go to a different room or out for a walk. I want no part of his negativity. It’s hard, but I know he’ll never change, but I can change my reaction to it.

  • @lunkerjunkie
    @lunkerjunkie Рік тому

    we can rest our attention
    on the UN met feltsense
    we are holding within
    and it will express itself
    consciously
    there's nothing to figure out

  • @dbruce5760
    @dbruce5760 8 місяців тому +1

    My problem is remembering to express my healthy anger.

  • @paulmann3174
    @paulmann3174 6 місяців тому

    My repress anger is gonna get me ill and kill me eventualy…

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  6 місяців тому

      Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. It takes courage to open up about something so personal. Remember, you're not alone and there are people who care about you. Take care of yourself and seek support if needed.

  • @1smg346
    @1smg346 Рік тому +3

    I can't get aggressive what to do bro i am always calm and let people walk over me?😢

    • @Sofi-qh9tm
      @Sofi-qh9tm Рік тому

    • @bhra9598
      @bhra9598 Рік тому +4

      It's mainly an issue when authorities don't protect good and kind people, and it's more of an issue when you're faced with certain personalities (especially from other cultures) who interpret full and repeated easy forgiveness and Godliness as a form of lack of brains and a form of being a good and easy Human Prey and that's when your safety might get too jeopardized because of that, so in that case I guess you can consider being more assertive in the way they understand,(even if you're internally calm), and never show that you're too calm in such situations and in front of such personalities so you wouldn't get endlessly and more severely harmed (because of their cultural teachings about the interpretation of your calmness and ethics) or just evaluate the situation and find a way to make sure you're safe

    • @anitachojnacki4512
      @anitachojnacki4512 Рік тому +2

      Love yourself more

    • @MainelyLove
      @MainelyLove Рік тому

      Is it possible you learned somewhere that if you loved someone, you showed it to them by never saying no or always giving in to whatever he/she wants? It is possible to love someone and still be yourself. And there is a big difference between "getting aggressive" and being angry. You can be angry about something yet not have any thoughts of doing anything about it, for example.

    • @1smg346
      @1smg346 Рік тому +1

      @@MainelyLove i agree on everything you said that’s facts and yes before when I used to feel a bit anger I don’t feel to do something about it maybe the one that makes you attack and go crazy is rage when you see red

  • @koby1985
    @koby1985 4 місяці тому +1

    Took me two videos to understand.... repressed emotions

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  4 місяці тому

      It's great that you were able to gain a deeper understanding through the videos!

  • @tmrsfitz1967
    @tmrsfitz1967 Рік тому

    People w anger has always been sad to me 😢I don’t understand the hate and the 23 century changing these kids off the hook 🪝 📕📕📕📕🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽✊🏽🇺🇸

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому

      I agree with you. It's disheartening when we see the persistence of hatred and rage, especially when we expect for positive change. Let us continue to spread empathy and understanding. 🌍🤝🙏

  • @ivrz
    @ivrz Рік тому +2

    And so how?

  • @macmachine
    @macmachine Рік тому +1

    And then the other party pulls the same stunt and you both agree to have nothing to do with one another. Result.

  • @ajcraft-hello
    @ajcraft-hello Рік тому

    ✨🌎

  • @CrankyHermit
    @CrankyHermit 11 місяців тому +2

    Sometimes being dangerous is precisely what is needed. I have no interest in accommodating the frailties of every snowflake in creation. Not my problem. I gave too much, for far too long.

  • @favouritesdump
    @favouritesdump 8 місяців тому +3

    He doesn't actually answer the question...

  • @viviennemason9291
    @viviennemason9291 11 місяців тому

    Mumbles!!

  • @earnest2898
    @earnest2898 10 місяців тому +1

    The editing for this video is really distracting to what Dr Gabor Maté is saying because the graphics/words sometimes do not match the transcript and the auditory effects make it hard to hear his voice as he is soft spoken. Unfortunate :/

  • @gregorfaust819
    @gregorfaust819 Рік тому +5

    Not only women…

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  Рік тому

      thanks for watching

    • @MainelyLove
      @MainelyLove Рік тому

      True, your comment is realistic. Both men and women have the capacity to express anger in unhealthy ways!

    • @spcecicles4502
      @spcecicles4502 11 місяців тому

      I think they’re just using women as an example but this can apply to both genders as well

  • @htttppppp
    @htttppppp 11 місяців тому +1

    So he is failing for some reason to say or explain how can a small child regulate its own anger? Who can explain anything to a let`s say three year old how to express healthy or unhealthy anger? I think no one wants to get into that so to me all this is just philosophizing. No answer how does a parent "regulate" a child`s anger. By letting it forever happen? Because if you do not learn to express and stop that anger then you will get angry on and on and that is also not healthy. So my point is you cannot escape the physiological processes that happen when you are angry. You can repress it or not. How do we know that we are not repressing, supressing ,healthy or unhealthy? Easy. If you want to say something to someone a a reaction then better not. Wait until you have cooled down and then speak or hold your peace. Better to keep your peace then ruminate. Also, they forget to teach people how to forgive truly. Because if you forgive you are free of anger. It does not control you. BUt all these MDs and psychologists do not know how to teach that. So yes, a philosophy it is with no applicability.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  11 місяців тому

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Anger management in children is a complicated subject. While teaching such skills to children can be difficult, many experts believe that utilizing simple language, suggesting alternatives to aggressive behavior, and modeling healthy emotional expression are all age-appropriate ways. True, regulating anger requires self-awareness and effective coping mechanisms. Learning forgiveness can surely help us break away from the hold of anger. While it may appear to be a philosophical topic, it has practical significance for different parenting and therapeutic approaches. Different strategies work for different people, and the journey of understanding and managing emotions is ongoing. 🌟

    • @mdbruhn
      @mdbruhn 10 місяців тому

      There was an Australian, Dr John Harrison, who published a very interesting book in 1984 revealing hus beliefs about the connection between illness and suppression of emotions. His book was called 'Love Your Disease'. He certainly was running against the tide of opinion of the medical fraternity saying such things back then. I went to one of his presentations and he talked quite a lot about healthy anger expression. His key point was, we can teach people to not throw their anger onto people, but onto pillows etc. How did he teach it, quite simply. He explained he had been able to teach his 2 year old this principle, so he felt adults could definitely also learn how to express anger without harming anyone. He said he gave his two year a cut down tennis racket, and a pillow. Any time his son wanted to express anger, he encouraged him to go to the place where he could whack the pillow/s and yell, and express his anger freely. The principle being his caregivers were totally comfortable with the child's expression of anger, and encouraged his anger expression. The boundary for his son was anger was not to be thrown at parents/people. Dr Harrison said, both parents were always available to comfort their son when he was done expressing anger at the pillow/s. I personally trained myself, lol, how to use this method, tennis racket, rolled up newspaper on a mattress etc. The key however is to take a deep breath before whacking, and let out a loud noise, yell while whacking a mattress. I usually would find the hurt, dissappointment, and even old hurt feelings by expressing anger in this way. Very cathartic, and life changing.

    • @MainelyLove
      @MainelyLove 10 місяців тому +2

      Most of the time when adults are talking about how a person can address his/her anger issues, they are talking about adults learning how. Childhood is a separate stage in life and I hope we all realize it is different and needs a different approach. In the US, and my opinion, children need to express themselves in acting out ways because they don't have any power. It's when we are grown and do have the power to decide that acting out our anger is inappropriate and frequently harmful to ourselves and others.

    • @yourinnerchildmatters
      @yourinnerchildmatters  10 місяців тому

      @@MainelyLove You make a great point here. Childhood is a special time in life, and dealing with anger in children requires a particular approach. It's important to understand that children are frequently acting out to express themselves when they feel powerless. Teaching kids healthy strategies to regulate anger as they grow up and gain more control over their life becomes important to their well-being and the well-being of others around them. Thank you for highlighting this important issue!👍🏼Bless You 🙏❤

  • @intheworldbutnotofit8002
    @intheworldbutnotofit8002 9 місяців тому +1

    The sound effects are both unnecessary and highly disruptive, making it challenging to hear what he is saying. I came here to listen to him, not to be distracted by the unnecessary tinkering. Is your editor unable to recognize something as basic as this? Does anyone involved in your channels understand that when presenting important, vital information, it should be the primary focus? It's concerning how society seems to be lacking competence, particularly on platforms like UA-cam.