Any such similar stories do feel free to pop in this thread. I'll start - a few months ago my Grandma's guide dog slipped its leash whilst she was at church for mass. Dog pounced on the priest and gobbled all the communion wafers before it could be wrangled. My Grandma, of course, was blindly unaware as to what the hell this commotion was going on in her church.
My cat learned how to meow the word "Hello", she purposefully made sure that it sounded exactly like a person saying it too. She used it to scare awake me or my parents up in the middle of the night paired with her knowing how to open doors too so I'd wake up in the middle of the night and hear a voice that sounded like a kid saying hello then my bedroom door would swing open and scare me. She did this like 16 times until she died of old age.
To anyone who doesn’t have a pet this video was probably horrifying, to people who do have a pet they’re probably just sitting here like “yeah, that happens.”
I think my German shepherd was a bit more nice than the lets in this Video the worst thing he did was eat his own poop when he got older which is still normal
@@MeLoNarXo One time when I was younger my cat started pooping in the corner (literally right next to the litter box, the box was clean too) and the baby sitter we had threw a toy at her. My cat got scared and the poop turned into diarrhea that ended up on the wall. The baby sitter had to clean it up. Also, not really the cats fault either.
had a dog named "cinderella" once (we let my dad name her). she was in fact the opposite of a princess. imagine a big dog, like a german shepherd, or something, chewing through an entire phone book. weird, but not impossible, right? well, miss cinderella was a mini schnauzer less than 6 months old. i had never heard of a dog psychologist until my family had to take her to one...
I had a pet dwarf bunny named Titus after the Roman emperor. Also my dad's suggestion. A cute little round floof with big floppy ears who loved cuddles.
our first cat was literally hellspawn; - the other cats in our neighbourhood didn't come near our house for a good 4-5 years after she passed out of terror - once she climbed into my dad's new and quite expensive coat, got stuck in the sleeve, screamed until they were forced to cut her out with a pair of scissors (forever ruining the coat) then bit my dad so hard he had to go to the hospital - attempting to eat my brother's goldfish multiple times - when i was a baby she'd go to sleep on my face quite regularly, so sometimes i'd end up waking up at 4am unable to breathe/see - back when my dad lived in a flat, she used to sit on the balcony and scream until the little jack russell downstairs started losing his shit, then just sit there and watch him go insane like some kind of sadist. - while my dad was in said flat, she once climbed out of the bathroom window and sat on top of the window frame before quickly realising they were about 20 stories in the air and she couldn't really fit on there, so had to sit there and screech until someone came to help her. - literally got run over on six separate occasions, two of which by my uncle, and barely even acknowledged it. she lived until she was like, 16. convinced if there's a devil he inhabited holly.
Several years ago my depression was severe, I hadn't cleaned the house in almost a year. One day it was like a flip switched, I was feeling great and decided to clean. There were a couple bags filled with garbage from the floor, old food, cigarettes and ashes. I had to run out and came back. Beagle tore open the bags, crap that I spent all day cleaning up was back all over the floor. Fell to my knees and sobbed as my beagle wagged her tail. This is one of many horrible stories from that dog, we still laugh at them all and miss that evil dog.
My cat woke everyone in my apartment up in the dead of night. She'd climbed up onto my exercise ball and the ball did not appreciate kitty claws. It didn't just pop it went off with a noise like a GUN SHOT, I've never seen a cat scream out of a room so fast. The ball was FUBAR, and the cat is 18 now. Still love her though.
My dog ate my wife’s Adderall. This event happened while my wife and I were at work; when my wife came home for lunch she found a normally excited 1 year old husky, zoned out staring at the wall while sitting on our couch like a tripping stoner. He would live after a night at the emergency vet and a $1500 veterinarian bill.
My dog, a black lab, is fond of lying down in the darkest areas of the house. She actually does this because when you step on her you immediately have to fuss her and give her cuddles and she loves the attention. The down side is she will lie at the top of the stairs in the dark and you cannot see her. How one of us hasn’t died yet is beyond me
@@tricksfollies9549 yesterday my dog got so excited to go for a walk that she put her foot in my dads shoe AS he was putting it on and she hurt her foot and acted like it was HIS fault lmaoo
My old dog was a black lab mix! She would do this too and I got really good at feeling around with my feet and knowing where she likes to sleep so I could step over her. My grandma was not so accustomed, however. I'm very grateful she did not trip and break a hip. It was actually pretty funny when she would kick her on accident. You would just hear a dog noise and then a Japanese lady saying "oh Sallie! Sorry! So sorry, Sallie!" in the middle of the night. Something about the purity of my grandma profusely apologizing to my dog was so cute.
@@salemccc awww That’s so sweet,my Nan was the exact opposite,she was like these animals are awfullll And said “well don’t sit in my seat,then.” (then secretly spoiled them and loved them to absolute death)
My mom spent the better part of a year growing these fancy blue pumpkins that someone gifted her. We’d gotten our retriever probably a few months before the fruit had started growing. My mom brings our dog down to the garden to check on the first pumpkin, which was about the size of a fist at this point. While she’s not looking, the dog plucks the pumpkin and carries it off into the yard, looking so proud of the new “ball” she’d found. None of the other pumpkins grew in.
List of things my dog has eaten: -Underwear -Used pads -Rabbit shit -About 50 pencils -A chocolate orange my mom wrapped up for Christmas -My 3DS -An entire couch cushion List of things my dog won't eat: -Dry dog treats
My two dogs, Stella and Sparky, are the reason I learned about the birds and the bees at an early age, what with how regularly they went at it. Sparky also had an unfortunate habit of getting stuck inside of Stella. The two then usually proceeded to freak the hell out about it. This was unpleasant for all parties involved, but especially for my dad, who had to disconnect them.
@shoop It's called knotting, they do that to have a higher chance of having offspring. Unfortunately, some dogs instinctively do this but somehow forgot how to undo it once they're finished. So they get stuck in the female's hole.
My granny had both male dogs, Alfie and Ollie, they also went at it quite a lot I remember me, my sister, auntie and two uncles walked into the living room and they were going right at it on the table in the middle of the room, I remember my aunt had to separate them with a pillow while me and my younger sister were dying of laughter
Super late, but my cat was diagnosed with cancer in December 2022. Since we knew he didn’t have long, we got him a kitten so he’d have a buddy during this rough time. It was great, until the kitten decided to jump on his head every morning and chase him around the house incessantly. We’d hear loud running, then a hiss, and kitten would come barreling down the stairs away from him. However, when she wasn’t around bothering him, he’d go looking for her, so I suspect that part of him loved the chase/being around her, as it kept him active and might’ve bought him a few months of life. He’s since passed on, but I hope he’s still watching over us, watching his annoying little sister grow up. RIP Mocha, you were the best boy.
Now I’m imagining being a kid dying of cancer and my parents deciding to have a new baby because they think I’d “like it.” Like 1. why would I want to play with a baby while I’m feeling sick, 2. it takes attention and time away from me, and 3. it would feel as if they were planning to replace me when I died 😂
My oldest childhood dog started really struggling with age and arthritis at about 14 years of age. We (very spontaneously) adopted antothr dog, and while young Sam was definitely the alpha of the house, he always stuck next to Bones and would frequently lick his ears or guard him from the scary outside. Bones actually started walking again and lived for about two more years.
My Grandma's cat ate my homework. I had to then explain that to my teacher the next day. She hated me, so she refused to call my parents to confirm this and just gave me afterschool detention. Dad comes to pick me up and when he tells her I wasn't lying she just laughs it off "Oh really, I didn't know that really happened" like she hadn't just yelled at me in front of the whole class and wasted an hour and a half of both mine and my Dad's time.
It's so fun to read all these horrifying stories when I have two cats that are suspiciously well behaved. I have an old man (16 or so) and a random stray cat off the street. The worst thing either of them has done is miss the litterbox
strays are often really, really intelligent, as they lived life on the streets, so they understand that you give them a place to live, rather than them giving you the right to exist
Due to sleeping on a couch for many years, I've developed the habit of sleeping completely motionless, and having to wake up in order to roll over in bed. One night, I woke up briefly to roll over, and my 90% asleep brain registered a noise. Being only awake enough to roll over, my brain went "Oh, it's raining, how soothing." A second later, it occurs to me that it was the middle of the summer and it hadn't rained in a week. Emergency button effectively punched, I shot up in bed, and I see my cat Katara pissing on the books in my bookcase. We made eye-contact, she shut off the stream, and bolted from the room at full speed. I had recently been reading a lot more, so my best guess is that this was done intentionally as a protest, but she didn't account for the possibility of me waking up and catching her, and she panicked.
@@wieldylattice3015 it's true tho!! Why did she never think of that? It's far easier than working out to sweat! I know why, because it's a kid cartoon. I will shut up now, because I love it too
@@TheTurdle that was before she learned the skill, it took the bloodbender episode for her to even consider it. Not entirely her fault, tbh. She still could've piss-bended, tho.
When my cat, Ruby, was a kitten, she had a cold. She's always been very small, so as a kitten she was tiny. I had her on my chest and then I yawned. She stuck her little head in my mouth and I couldn't do anything but sit there. Then she sneezed. As I stated before, she had a cold. Didn't get sick though!
I am in absolute tears....thanks for these laughs. Here are a few from my family: MIL's dog would lay protest poops if she was leaving "outside of the approved schedule", and just like that cat, by the front door, to spread "the cheer". Said dog got to know my old dog, who I still miss. She was chill in person. Puppy running over her? Meh! Buddy's 2-year old poking her finger in dog's eye and butt? Meh! So we come to visit, she literally grabs him with her front paws and humps him, right after we entered the house. We were mortified. She also casually stole a loaf of fresh bread off the counter, chewed through the bag and downed the whole thing, she licked butter, stole goldfish crackers out of kids' hands, chips out of people's hands, any food reachable was fair game, from ham to ice cream, she also busted through the fence, got into neighbour's house and hoovered their dog's food. One trip to the off-leash, she found another dog's poop, so she laid on it with her head and pushed it along for like 50 ft. We drove home with open windows, in the midst of winter.
My cat used to get locked into our neighbors' barn like once a month. Every time I heard some faint desperate meows in our garden I knew I had to get him out of there again. It was such a frequent occurence that, at some point, our neighbors even told us where they hide their barn keys. Thankfully, after eight years, he seems to have learned his lesson. I fully expect to eat my words. I also have a tortoise who loves to bite people. He'll keep chasing after you, no matter how many times you move away. This can be pretty annoying but I admire his determination. He's managed to bite a piece out of my dad's shoe and my mom's ankle.
Having raised my rescued rabbit I am without without doubt his favourite person. However my niece (who is a toddler) likes to think she's his favourite person and is constantly keeping him company. I remember the day vividly. I came outside after being away from them for 5 minutes and they were upto of the garden. My rabbit saw me, got excited, proceeded to shit violently on my nieces new shoes and ditched her to run down the garden to me. I pissed myself laughing.
I used to have a cat who would occasionally get diarrhea. Whenever it happened she would get scared and start running around the house. We had to replace a lot of furniture. Also, I feel so bad for the kid whose prosthetic was stolen! That must have been so expensive to replace!
@@SIS3W3N I’m guessing that’s a posh joke, but I have no clue what gauche means and I’m currently eating a chocolate cake with my bare fingers, so yeah.
after seeing this, I have an idea for a great video you could make: a multiple choice guess-what-the-question-was after we have only seen the answer. for example, you show us the response "he shit on the roof, no idea how", then provide a few possible questions like "what have your siblings done that left you dumbfounded" or "what's the worst thing your pet has done" then we have to guess the correct question. call it A&Q or somthing.
I was five or six years old when this happens : As a kid, most of us likes to read stories from a kid's book right? I was doing that while my cat is on my lap facing the book i was reading. I dont know what triggers her, but she suddenly turns around to me and attacked me until my face looks like someone who got into a car accident. I was so confused i didn't feel pain. My parents panicked and rushed me to the hospital. Turns out i just simply accidentally squished my cat's toe
So when I was little our mom bought me and my sister a cute little male black kitty for Christmas (that we sadly had to give away months later since it was too much to take care of with us and the other cat) and I wanted to hold our current older cat to show them, and he rocked my shit UP. He’s gotten “nicer” now, but whenever he stares at me when I’m looking down at him I try to back away just in case that happens again
When I first got my two cats when I was in second grade, (I also have a black male cat) I didn't know how to hold him. So one time I had just like draped him over my shoulder right? Then my dad sneezed at such ungodly levels of dad sneezes and coco dug all of his front claws INTO my shoulder and used that as his base to jump off and escape to hide. The first time he came to sit on my lap, I was wearing pajamas that had short shorts. He was just standing on my lap when my dad, yet again, either coughed or sneezed so loudly, it scared Coco AGAIN and he AGAIN used his claws and my body as a jump start for a leap into hiding. Had a giant scratch from the upper mid of my thigh to my knee.
My dog, who was only like 7 months old when this happened, ate my dad’s edibles. We knew something was wrong because he is a lab, and they are ridiculously energetic as puppies, but he was utterly lethargic.
My cat died the day after college started while I was halfway across the country. She was an absolute nightmare sometimes, but I don't think I've ever cried harder than I did that night. Rest in peace, Shaharazad, I still love you.
I'm so sorry to hear that, losing a pet is never easy. I lost one of my dogs and my cat within 5 months of each other. Dog went downhill literally in the space of a couple of days then put down, and my cat was hit by a car. I'm still devastated about them both
Don't worry, Shahazarad probably resurrected using his 8 other lives being a nightmarish housecat for other people now Maybe one day you'll pass a cat. And unknown to you, that cat could've been Shahazarad's other lives
About 12 years ago, my mom was going to cook steak for dinner. Got it out to let it thaw, but the dog stole it while she wasn’t looking. We looked all over the house for the missing steak for about 30 minutes before I finally found it in buried in the sock basket, unharmed. Rest In Peace, Corrie. I’m glad we got to spend 13 years with you.
My cat brought a live snake in the house, and looked just as shocked as I was when it slithered away. It took me a half an hour while my mom held my younger brother standing in the couch frantic. Then, when I finally caught it, he snatched it out of my hands. He pranced around like HE caught it, and then it slithered out of his mouth and he was in shock. Cue another chase scene between me and a snake. He also left a dead mole on my bed
What kind of snake? If you know that is, i want to know of i should feel bad for laughing at this if it was dangerous, if you dont know you could describe it to me, i may know the species lol
@@-jupiter-3140 are you sure it was a garter snake? They secrete a foul musk for just this kind of occasion. It may have been a similar looking species.
_(This is more annoying than anything else.)_ I own a cat _(Shrödy, named after Shrödinger's cat)_ who is head over paws in love with me. She follows me just about everywhere. If I do the laundry, she follows me downstairs. Like , I can't brush my teeth without her jumping on the sink, making me spit over her body that she puts in the way. This makes any home improvement project even more problematic, cause she just sits all over the project and trills and meows for pets, or wants to play with little screws and wire nuts. *ARGH!* 😠 Regardless, I moved into my new house a couple of years ago. I decided to put flappy cat doors going to every room, because I wanted my cat to have maximum freedom. Hopefully, she would find other things to do than bother me constantly. _Boy, was I wrong..._ Now every time I take a crap, she visits me, the little pooper snooper. If I don't pet her constantly, she nuzzles my sensitive thigh. If I continue to ignore her, she _"love bites"_ my ass! I can't crap in peace anymore without Shrödy, the Butt-Muncher, surprising me by sinking her pointy sharp teeth in my _"booty fold"_ that hangs over the toilet seat. 😫 She's like the overly attracted girlfriend meme, but she's a cat. 🙄
@@Mythicalregretevator while I'm not obese (I weigh 208 as of this morning) I do have some flab on my butt cheeks. It makes a "muffin top" on my small toilet seat. Does that help?
I had to say goodbye to my cat last Monday. He has never done anything bad. He helped me through his 8 short years here. Him and his brother stopped me self harming. I miss him so much. We're burying his ashes tomorrow and we have got a white rose Bush as he liked to eat the dead leaves off the other rose Bush me have. Rip chip. I will always love you and thank him for all the times he has saved me from ending it.
This video was posted a year ago with 7K comments and ur comment was one of the first ones I saw (🤷♀️) First of all let me say, losing a pet is the same as losing a family member. Second of all, my daughter unalived herself 6 yrs ago and it ripped my family apart (with grief) I’m not gonna preach religion or anything of that shit to you but what I will say is, I’m just a random stranger commenting on ur comment but if at anytime you need to talk, day or night, I’m always around. I don’t know a thing about you but I do know this…you’re important. And loved. ❤
@@TeddyLovesAxl super wholesome reply! I’m another person with mental health struggles and reading things like this genuinely brightens my day. To all who are reading this, please take care.
So my mom went to the bathroom, leaving her freshly made ghost pepper quesadillas on the counter. My big dog Hunter and my cat Das promptly came into the kitchen, and working together they managed to take down the quesadillas and eat them both. Hunter just shat everywhere two minutes later and Das had heartburn, then threw up on Hunter and on multiple newly laid carpets. For the next 4 days.
Hid his suffering from us until it was too late 💔 I miss you Sam, you were my rock and life isn't the same without you. I hope to see you again when my time comes around.
I remember, my teacher at my school told me about the time her dog killed one of her neighbor’s cat. What made it worse was the fact that the cat that was killed was owned by an elderly man, who’s grandson had just died like a few weeks prior, and that the cat was one of many kittens. RIP Unidentifiable Cat. ❤️❤️❤️
as someone who's dog died really recently, this video made me laugh, and the end made me tear up a bit (in a good way). i miss you, Cole. You were best fluffy boy i could have asked for
Our first dog when I was little was a sweetheart. The gentlest little doggie, timid and empathetic. She was feeling sick one night. We were trying to comfort her. Mom had her on her lap. Suddenly, Daisy sat up and her ears went flat against her head. She slowly looked up at mom very guiltily and tensed up. “If you throw up on me,” mom warned, “you’re a dead dog-!” Daisy immediately emptied her stomach contents onto a steaming pile of puppy barf onto mom’s chest. She slowly looked back up at mom with a deeply apologetic look on her face and stared at her. I got to witness this as it was happening. I was breathlessly howling with laughter, rolling on the carpet while mom, unsure whether to laugh or cry, just stared back at Daisy. For like ten whole seconds of unmoving shock. We still laugh about it. And no, mom did not get angry with her, it was to funny and pitiable. Daisy was a genuine angel. I would elaborate, but I don’t want to make anyone else cry as I am. Cherish your pets. You have no idea how much you really love them until they’re gone. ❤️
My dog used to take the lid off of the butter container, eat all of the butter, and *put the lid back on.* we didn't suspect him for like a year, until we watched him, standing all the way up the shelf, eating the butter.
I think you should record him doing this, you could get a lot of views. Some of these stories require photographic/videographic evidence to be believed. _(No offense, I believe you, I'm just surprised that your dog is that clever to put the lid back on.)_
When Corona was a huge thing in our country and I was in quarantine, I had a online meeting for school. I did not know my cat had caught a BAT the night before, and the MOMENT I had to do my presentation, the bat came flying out of the curtains and started through the ENTIRE FUCKING HOUSE. Thanks a lot, Charlie,
Our old dog Sophie, been gone since about 2016, was a really sweet Greyhound/border collie mix. The worst thing I can recall her doing is literally knocking our sliding glass door off of its rails from pure joy after we got back home from a 1 week vacation.
My pet loves to hunt. The usual stuff like leaves and birds can be brought in by him, but one time he just dragged in a dead duck. Not duckling, a fucking duck.
Most traumatizing: when I was a kid, my sister’s cat killed our gerbils in the middle of the night. Found out when I needed a midnight pee and discovered she had not only killed them, but placed my gerbil in front of my room and my sister’s in front of her room. I know she was just trying to feed us, and I loved her, but wtf Grossest: My new kitten decided a fresh dog poop (which my dad’s dachshund did out of spite) was the perfect thing to pounce on. This same cat grew up to take the smelliest shit in our new kitten’s litter box to welcome him to the family.
"wtf" the "fuck" is exactly what you described. a cat physically cannot understand that the gerbil was a pet, it was just food to it. you don't have to be appreciative of it, but you don't have to be confused either, especially when you already understand?
@@DarkShard5728 the "wtf" comes from the coincidence of her trying to feed us our own gerbils. She couldn't have known which one was mine and which one was my sister's
My sister was visiting like she usually does (big age gap; she's got a house and two tween kids and I only just graduated college) She's excited to see our adorable adhd corgi like she usually is. She picks him up smiling, and he excite-pisses right into her mouth. It was horrendous, but my brain decided to laugh since it wasn't me.
You just reminded me, I used to have a Pomeranian that was just scared of everything. I took her to the vet one day and I was holding her in my arms to try to soothe her. A little girl walks up and asks if she could pet the dog, to which said dog replies by pissing all over me. I looked at the girl and said "I don't think that would be a good idea" as this dog continued to drench my shirt
I miss you Tabitha, you were the best cat in the world. You were more loving and intelligent than any other cat I've ever met and no other could ever replace you. The world is a far darker place for lacking you.
I was sick during a family party so I had to stay in a room with the cats. When my cousin came in to say hello, my one cat proceeded to try mauling his leg MULTIPLE TIMES. We had to put him in the closet whenever he came back.
We've had three dogs. Haggis, our first, pissed on my dad while out on a walk. Daisy once ate my glasses and four bars of soap - not all at the same time. Hartree, our current dog, is an angel, but when she was a puppy she would engage in stealth-pissing. That is, she would piss in places you wouldn't think to check, like bath mat or under the dining room table
My old dog charlie ate my glasses too (twice.). and the WOODEN dining table and she slept on the table when we weren’t there and she ran away one time and she swam in a little pond with ducks we lured her back with bologna and our other dog My dog luna ate all the trash my dog penelope ate it with luna my dog Prince peed on the kitchen rug and puked on my bed then proceeded to eat it. and ate my school book under my bed. and luna and prince humped other dogs and stuffed animals and my cat mama cat she would take bread off the counter and we’d wake up with bread all over the stairs and there is WAY to much to say
This video literally made me grateful to how polite my two cats are, they aren’t perfect of course, but in comparison to some of the pets in this video... yeah
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Yeah same, I'm so thankful that my 3 cats are fairly calm. Other than some little scratches or hairballs now and again they're pretty much perfect. The worst thing they've done is shit in my bed and that was only one time and it was the first night they spent with us, so they weren't trained yet lol.
My eldest dog (seen here to the left) once ate putrid diarrhoea left by another dog in field then got home and threw it all up on my living room. In my entire life I've never seen anything as vile. She also took advantage of a dead flattened hedgehog, rolled all over it and got it stuck right in her coat. Had to peel that thing off with my actual hands 🤢 She shit in my daughter's laundry basket on the sly and didn't tell anyone. Worst thing is my daughter doesn't live at home any more so it wasn't until the day after I discovered the dried up colossal turd sat on top of clean clothes. She broke away from training as a youngster and chased after a rogue crisp packet caught in a gust of wind and kept going for over half a mile. She risked life and limb chasing an empty packet of "Skips" prawn cocktail crisps.
my mum's favourite story to tell about her childhood dog, Daisy, was how she /always/ stole the avocados off the neighbors' windowsill. she did it every time for months and the whole time the neighbors thought my grandpa was doing it. they decided to stay cool and just try to catch him one day instead of confronting him. one day they were all outside the neighbors' house and Daisy came trotting out with an avocado in her mouth
I almost got evicted when renting a room in a home with a dog and cat because the doorknob to my bedroom didn't always close all the way, anyway I thought I had closed the door all the way in the morning, left for the day and then got a call from the homeowner that their dog had dragged my trash from my trashcan all over their newly cleaned floors, and I'm pretty sure some of it was what remained from a pint of melted ice cream. I was mortified and the worst part was I felt deeply ashamed and scared to confront them while I technically didn't do anything wrong. Also the dog seemed to dislike me so I wasn't even like "aw it's ok sweetie", more like "why did you have to do that I never hurt you 😒", I think she had an issue with me, was never aggressive, but almost always avoided me. Maybe she secretly was smarter that I thought and wanted me evicted because she did it twice and eventually I had to make sure I either took out the trash can or just kept it ON THE TOP SHELF every time I left the house, just in case. Luckily their cat was a sweetie who seemed to thoroughly enjoy my company and didn't cause me any issues.
It's ridiculous to blame you when their dog did it - I don't mean it's the dog's fault, dogs gonna dog, it's the owner's responsibility to ensure the rooms they provide are properly pet-proofed, for everyone's comfort
That's like getting evicted because the landlord's kid punched a hole in your front door. That's ridiculous, it's their animal and their responsibility
My dog Daisy (big ass German Shepherd and Great Dane mix) who was trying to cuddle everyone on the couch simultaneously, causing her to lay on the remote and break our tv
Our old dog (Malamute) was a proficient hunter. He was the bane of birds, grubs, and rodents alike. Though, he could never catch a skunk no matter how hard he tried, and instead would get stink bombed. Well, one morning he was outside and started barking at the door. My dad, bleary eyed, went to go say good morning to him and let him in. When my dad reached down to pet the pup, he ever so gently deposited a severed squirrel head into my dad’s hand all while smiling and wagging his tail like a kid showing off a homemade father’s day card. There was also the one time he tried catching an opossum. He’d run up to it, it played possum, he sniffed it, and would then patrol the yard all proud-like while the possum quietly got up and started walking off. At least before my dog saw that the opossum WASN’T actually dead and ran over to do the same thing over and over until the opossum safely made it out of our yard. RIP Ajax, love you still, buddy.
Holy shit I have been in a terrible place last couple of months This man made it all better in about 4 hours making me cry tears of fuckin laughter get this man a million subscribers
@@Scriblyn Hi random person on the internet!!! I'm talking more care of myself and surrounding myself with people I enjoy and slowly helping myself so yes I'm doing pretty good :D
One of my childhood cats hated everything, and she would pee on things to let us know she didn't like it. She was... not exactly right in the head. She had some sort of problem during kitty puberty that left her mean until the day she died. She was the softest, fluffiest cat I've ever pet. I miss her.
I used to have a dog about seven years ago, she used to run upstairs, start chewing the corner of the wall, until it got to a point where she was literally eating part of the wall and left a giant chunk of it gone, and sometimes after she’d finished, she would run down the stairs as fast as she could, turn into the living room, and run head-first into the table.
I have a 120 pound bloodhound who, in his hayday, was a horrific food thief. I could talk about the multiple sticks of butter or the entire loaf of chocolate chip banana bread, but I think the funniest one was my grandmother's birthday cake. Me and my mom had been slaving away over a lemon pound cake and had just pulled it out of the oven. It was piping hot and we needed to glaze it, so we left it out to cool while we watch a show. Eventually the episode ended or some timer went off, and we decided it was probably cool enough to glaze. We walked into the kitchen to find the cake still on the counter, with a comically large bite taken out of it, and the dog standing on the floor next to it with crumbs all over his mouth. Nowadays he has a hard time standing up, thanks to the arthritis, but even that doesn't stop him from nicking food off the table when he can.
i used to have a male labrador dog (we have to give him back to the shelter after some events happened.) i was pretty young when he had him for the short time we did. the worst thing i can remember him doing was that he ate an entire 24 pack of crayola sidewalk chalk in the middle of the night, then in the morning proceeded to take the largest, most colorful poop of his doggy life. he then smelled it for a bit, ate it, vomited it up, and liquid squirted out the rest. both the vomit and the second round of turds were laced with vibrant pastel colors
Three for the price of one, let's go! When my dad was a kid (we're talking 60s/70s) he lived in a small town surrounded by fields. One day, right after a bath, his dog found a pile of pig manure, rolled herself in it, and went back home. He didn't notice immediately and hugged her. They ended up in the bathtub together. My great-aunt was having guests over from another country and had decided to make cutlets for lunch. The cat hid himself in the kitchen so well that she didn't notice him and locked him inside for about 4 hours. When she and the guests opened the door, the cat dashed out, bits of meat still dangling out of his mouth. I have no idea what they ended up eating, but I would've paid good money to see their faces. Last but not least, one about my own lovely kitties. A few months ago I went to a local baker and bought a few different kinds of bread. The loaves came packaged individually in paper bags, and all of them were in an organic bag for ease of transport. Well, I drop them off at home, go run some other errands, and come back to the organic bag in tatters and holes chewed in all the paper bags and all the loaves. This from the same cats that had eaten the tips off a bunch of asparagus not one week earlier, but have never touched unattended fish or meat. Needless to say, I don't leave my groceries out anymore...
One of my earliest pet memories was of a brown rabbit named Peanut. I was sitting on the couch when I heard scratching. I climbed up the back of the couch and looked behind it, and there she was, climbing over my dad's guitar cases (which he kept back there). I don't think she did any harm, but I thought it was funny seeing her back there. I guess it's easy to be amused when you're about 3 years old.
When my step father bought his hedgehog, the first night it snuck out of her cage, fell off the living room table, then made her way across the hallway and somehow opened my step brother's bedroom door then scared the ever loving shit out of him. This was done while I was at my birth dad's house for the weekend. The next thing she did was during Texas's snow pocolypse when the power went out the hedgehog was put in my room because it was the warmest. Well one night while everyone was asleep she, for some ungodly reason she decided to claw out her eye. We didn't notice until late in to the evening. The poor girl's eye was just hanging out of her head. The most baffling thing about it was that she didn't even seemed like she cared.
My rabbit chewed through my fiber optic cable in one bite, had to call Verizon to replace the whole thing 🤦♀️ Also she chewed a hole in some couch cushions that can’t be flipped around to hide it (and the couch is pretty expensive). But at this point I know her habits, bunny proofed as much as I can, and give her plenty of toilet paper/paper towel cardboard tubes to chew on, so we haven’t had many further issues. Love her to bits :)
Ever had a hamster thats an escape artist....He escaped his cage[Twice] The first was with a guinea pig and a box, The second time, he chewed his way out, Climbed down his Tower of Boxes of items that held his cage at the top, and started trying to chew his way out through the wall. We duct tapped his cage afterwards and now have missing wall shavings on the wall. Note:We had to give away our pets cause of our allergies. But we never got rid of the hamster....We were too scared to give him to anyone knowing what would happen. I'M TELLING YOU MAN HE AINT NO HAMSTER THATS A MAN DRESSED AS A HAMSTER-
I could go over the 6 dogs I've had/had the pleasure of meeting over the last few years, and how one tried to eat my face, or how another pissed on my mother's shoulder in the car (I seriously don't know how he pulled that one) but the main one that comes to mind is when Bossy (yes, he was the boss, and yes, my little 2 yr old brother named him) decided that, mid flight back home, he wanted pets. Somehow he got into the main flight deck, past security, and made it up to my father and mom up in First Class.
I faintly remember a childhood experience of mine when I still required a highchair to eat. My dad had heated up some pizza for me to eat, and as I picked it up to take a bite, I must have dropped it on the floor. Turns out, my cat, Millie, a tortoise-shell calico with a hankering for cheese, darted out of the basement at full speed, snatched my piece of pizza, and dragged it back down to the basement. I still remember the poignant anger and sadness I felt as I wailed at my lost meal, while my dad stood there laughing his ass off.
We got a kitten a couple months ago. Aside from nonstop trying to eviscerate us, some standout moments include: -Falling into the toilet and needing to be rinsed off in the bathtub -Falling into a bucket of water -Jumping up to claw my face open and managing to STICK HIS PAW IN MY MOUTH AND SCRATCH THE INSIDE OF MY LIP -Trying to tackle my face while I was holding a giant butcher knife (he's genuinely lucky I didn't end up accidentally bisecting him that time)
ive never had a pet and this convinced me never to get one: i was at a friend's house once and she owns a cat and a dog. the cat hadn't taken a liking to me and would hiss and cower any time i got near her and i was deathly afraid of dogs at the time. looking back, her dog was pretty sweet, phobias are just irrational. anyway, night came and my friend and i decided to share a bed. there was barely room for two people there but it was still comfortable. later, somewhere around 4am i wake up, halfway hanging off the side of the bed. both the dog and the cat decided to take 80% of my side of the bed and i was just too afraid to do anything about it so i tried to go back to sleep. unfortunately, that didn't happen, because the cat decided to wake up and barf all over my shirt. worst part is, all of this still hadn't woken my friend up so i dealt with the mess on my own and spent the rest of the night sleeping on the floor.
Hahaha! I brought my outdoor cat into the house, I was maybe 12 and just wanted to show him off. But since he was an outdoor cat I didn’t have a litter box for him and so he takes a huge dump in the potted plant, all my friends are yelling and panicking. But then my brother’s dog comes along, smells the giant turd, and just swallows it whole. Sure it’s absolutely disgusting, but at least I didn’t have to clean it up, and it gave my friends an experience that they would not forget before they moved away, lol.
The ending made me cry. I lost dog recently and was trying to use my unhealthy coping mechanisms, but now you made me express emotions. Good job Matt, hope you’re happy cause I’m not
It's a slow and neverending process to grieve. I still call my grandmother's dog, a yorkie called Oliver, by the name of the yorkie my family had growing up. And then I catch myself and I pause and I have to remember Bailey died four years ago. It's hard. Remembering, oddly, helps.
6:03 the worst part about this it that rabbits cannot be bathed because they could easily go into shock from the water. after this you would have to risk the bunny *dying* from shock or just having an extremely smelly bunny with piss in its fur.
I've got a few actually: - my dog silently destroyed my only iphone charger while sitting right below me. she also puked on the stairs once and it was the worst thing I had ever had the displeasure of cleaning up - my other dog used to REGULARLY pee on my rug if I ever left the door open. she also pooped on my rug once while I was asleep and I didn't realize that's what it was when I saw it bc I didn't have my glasses on. I picked it up and got it all over my hand and was horrified. she ALSO figured out how to get through the cat door on the gate leading to where the litter boxes are and if no one is paying attention she'll go through and not only eat cat poop but also *drag her neck through it*. she also sometimes does this with other dog's poop outside... - my cat sometimes drags his ass across the floor when he has a bit of poop stuck to it, leaving a trail of smeared poop on the ground. - my other cat tries to eat my phone charger (or any wires he can get paws on) his and tear up the mat under my desk chair EVERY SINGLE TIME I let him into my room. he also attacks ppl's leg if I don't give him attention or literally just any time someone walks by. he's an orange tabby so I guess that's why he's like this - a dog my dad had before I was born ate a load of sheetrock and pooped white for weeks. he also hoarded a stick of butter and it took giving him an entire pack of ham to give it up - a cat I had as a kid puked directly on my dad's chest while he was asleep. the smell woke him up. worst thing he did was die tho :( - another cat I had when I was younger had a panic attack and scratched the shit out of my sister for no reason. he's gone too now tho - and the first cat's brother was also an orange tabby so I feel like that's self explanatory. don't remember any particularly bad or gross things he's ever done (other than licking my dad's head for whatever reason) but again, worst thing he ever did was die a couple years ago... a week after the cat that scratched my sister died :((( EDIT: my dog still pisses on my rug if my door is open and now also poops in my dad's office if the door's open, so that's wonderful
My parents' cat was a character. She chased her tail in circles, her breath stank all the time, and she never learned how to bury her "mess" in the litterbox (though she always used it correctly until her last few months, when she would pee wherever ahe pleased... including my dad's foot). Also, under NO circumstances could you leave bread where she could reach it. She would chew through plastic wrap or bags to take a few bites out of anything starchy. Croissants, bagels, cornbread, cookies, and casseroles all fell victim to her appetite. And once, she ate enough plastic to block her colon and cost us thousands of dollars in surgery to remove. I still miss you, Zinnia.
I've got a few choice stories from my various pets of years past. - I used to keep fish and once tried to keep a crawdad in the tank, as I heard they would get along with my fish. It did, but it also escaped the tank and hid under a pile of blankets in my sister's room. The shriek that followed was glorious. - Had an Australian shepherd who ate everything she could get her mouth around including 5+ pairs of jeans, an unfathomable amount of shoes, part of our back deck, and the rim of an inflatable pool. - Had a black lab/pit bull mix who never escaped except for one time when she dig under the fence, stole our neighbor's shoes, and brought them into our front yard, proudest I've ever seen her. She also bit my cousin, but he grew up to be a hardass bastard cop who ruins people's lives over a half-smoked joint, so I think she just made a good judgement call there. - Had a cranky old Siamese who loved to be let in (my dad doesn't allow indoor cats), so I let her in for an entire week while the rest of my family were out of town. She then proceeded to rummage through the cabinets in the dead of night, scaring the piss out of me. - Current dog will hunt any small animal with the audacity to breathe in her presence. My mom got emotionally attached to a groundhog that had decided to wander into our front yard. Guess which animal the dog maimed in front of my mom on a crisp Sunday morning? - My current cat is a menace in numerous respects, and one of his worst habits is killing small animals and then hiding them. We sometimes don't notice until it starts stinking. I might think of more later. Our family has had a lot of pets.
why is this the second time ive heard about someones pet crawfish escaping its tank and hiding under clothes/blankets? do crawfish have some sort of bizarre love for soft textures that they dont get in their natural habitats??
We had two dwarf hamsters a few years ago. One dreaded day, we discovered that one of them had eaten the other, and the criminal died shortly after. We're never getting small pets again.
Hamsters are solitary animals that are also very territorial. They have a habit of fighting eachother to the death. A small animal more suited for being in groups would be the guinea pig.
@@francislee817 What kind of fish was the one that got all the food and what kind of fish were the ones that didn't get the food? Some fish are much faster than others
Similar thing happened to me a few years ago, except my dwarf hamster didnt eat the other one, they beat the shit out of the other one. It got so bad, the other one had to be given away, then died shortly after, the other one also died shortly after. I was like 4 or 5 so idk how i remember but I think its funny now when i think abt it. Traumatising though when i saw blood everywhere.
Worst thing I could remember him doing was trying to go live with someone else. He had escaped, ran into someone else's home, and tried to stay there. We had looked for hours, and he just chilled with another family. It's not like he hated us either, he just wanted to hang out with another family for the day, Apperently
I’m pretty sure my cat did that for the 1 month she was gone.. she came back near the house as she usually does, with a new collar and smelled nice too! I don’t even know how they managed to clean her- she scratches and bites and is a literal demon.
I've had 4 cats in my lifetime: Isis: She was a sweet old cat who did nothing more the swipe at our dogs. Osiris (I called him Buebue): He was big and fat and once clawed the inside of my eyelid and my tears came out pink. Ra: He was an all around little sh*t, he would claw toilet paper and start fights with his brother (my aunts cat). Horus (Goblin): The nickname says it all, he bites our arms even when we just pet him, he's also destroyed toilet paper, he goes places he's not supposed to and trashes said places. Loved them all, but some of the things they pulled still make me facepalm. Buebue and Isis died before we had moved and Ra had ran away around that time, all living long fulfilling lives. Still have Horus and love the guy and his antic's.
I have a female tortie, Bastet. A white Siamese, Ra. A black long haired, Kepheru. A pretty watercolor tortie, Nunu (Nut/Nun). I also have an affinity for Egypt. 🖤
One of our cats Shady once got stuck in a chimney for 4 days. By that day we were fearing the worst, and then a group of little kids knocked on the door, telling us that they’d found him (my mum had posted about him on FaceBook). The family literally had to destroy their own chimney to get him out! We were so grateful. Needless to say Shady was VERY traumatised, he wouldn’t even eat the food they tried giving him, despite being starved for 4 days. But as soon as my mum went to retrieve him, he was as happy as can be, and started eating once he was back home. I know it’s unfair to have a favourite pet… but Shady is my favourite of ours. I currently have a cold and feel like absolute shit, but here he is, laying on my chest as I type this, giving me such loving eyes. I know I’m his favourite human in this house too 🖤
I remember just chilling in vc and my cat just started biting me, like I did nothing, and she just chose violence Edit: she doesn't bite me until provoked, but yea this thing happened only once
My cat was sitting on my lap once and she looked at me directly in the eye and then scratched my face. She then jumped off my lap, bit my leg and then ran off…
my only ever pet was a small catfish, named him serpent since he looked like a water dragon to me (a sea serpent). he just helped the filter for wastes, like poop, by eating it, as catfish normally do. and he hid near the filter for his deliciousness. then he disappeared, and my mom told me it was most likely that he died, then the goldfish ate his corpse while I was asleep.
Any such similar stories do feel free to pop in this thread. I'll start - a few months ago my Grandma's guide dog slipped its leash whilst she was at church for mass. Dog pounced on the priest and gobbled all the communion wafers before it could be wrangled. My Grandma, of course, was blindly unaware as to what the hell this commotion was going on in her church.
my nan once picked up my old cat and the cat scratched her entire face
all i remember from it (i was like 5) is just red lines on her face
Pretty generic by my dog used to kill a lot of wild rabbits. It was always fun throwing those into the field next door for the buzzards.
my cat died once
it's even more dark humor considering his fur color was dark
Our cat vomited *inside* of my sister's shoe one time. Yes, she did find out the hard way.
My Cat chipped my tooth.
Edit: Yes my Cat is my pfp
My rabbit literally ate my homework. And my books. And my wires. She’s sleeping all cutely now but I know your true personality, Peanut.
lmao
Murder it and pull the homework out of it's body.
@@Danse_Macabre_125 man woke up and chose violence
@@reimisugimoto9192 yeeeeeeeees
Reina straight up got that crack head energy
My cat learned how to meow the word "Hello", she purposefully made sure that it sounded exactly like a person saying it too. She used it to scare awake me or my parents up in the middle of the night paired with her knowing how to open doors too so I'd wake up in the middle of the night and hear a voice that sounded like a kid saying hello then my bedroom door would swing open and scare me. She did this like 16 times until she died of old age.
That was certainly a human trapped in a cat’s body
I would simply ~*pass away*~ if that happened to me
that's actually a super normal cat behavior.
@@stonedmoon6056 still spooked me because she knew how to use it to freak people out and get their attention.
@@yoplait3256 that's sorta the point of the behavior lol
To anyone who doesn’t have a pet this video was probably horrifying, to people who do have a pet they’re probably just sitting here like “yeah, that happens.”
I think my German shepherd was a bit more nice than the lets in this Video the worst thing he did was eat his own poop when he got older which is still normal
@@MeLoNarXo
One time when I was younger my cat started pooping in the corner (literally right next to the litter box, the box was clean too) and the baby sitter we had threw a toy at her. My cat got scared and the poop turned into diarrhea that ended up on the wall. The baby sitter had to clean it up. Also, not really the cats fault either.
I don’t have a pet, but I still laughed my ass off.
I have pets and no e of those got close to happening to me, probably because I don't live in America and they stay outside
My symbiotic relationship creature is acting fine
had a dog named "cinderella" once (we let my dad name her). she was in fact the opposite of a princess.
imagine a big dog, like a german shepherd, or something, chewing through an entire phone book. weird, but not impossible, right?
well, miss cinderella was a mini schnauzer less than 6 months old.
i had never heard of a dog psychologist until my family had to take her to one...
Same name.
I had a pet dwarf bunny named Titus after the Roman emperor. Also my dad's suggestion. A cute little round floof with big floppy ears who loved cuddles.
our first cat was literally hellspawn;
- the other cats in our neighbourhood didn't come near our house for a good 4-5 years after she passed out of terror
- once she climbed into my dad's new and quite expensive coat, got stuck in the sleeve, screamed until they were forced to cut her out with a pair of scissors (forever ruining the coat) then bit my dad so hard he had to go to the hospital
- attempting to eat my brother's goldfish multiple times
- when i was a baby she'd go to sleep on my face quite regularly, so sometimes i'd end up waking up at 4am unable to breathe/see
- back when my dad lived in a flat, she used to sit on the balcony and scream until the little jack russell downstairs started losing his shit, then just sit there and watch him go insane like some kind of sadist.
- while my dad was in said flat, she once climbed out of the bathroom window and sat on top of the window frame before quickly realising they were about 20 stories in the air and she couldn't really fit on there, so had to sit there and screech until someone came to help her.
- literally got run over on six separate occasions, two of which by my uncle, and barely even acknowledged it.
she lived until she was like, 16. convinced if there's a devil he inhabited holly.
Sure that thing is dead?
@@MouldMadeMind honestly, if she clawed its way up from hell and clambered out the dirt in my back yard tomorrow morning i would not bat an eyelid.
I swear, the story of your cat made me laugh more than anything I read tonight. Thank you, now I love that fur ball of revenge and madness too
SIX TIMES?
this the type of cat that makes me *hide and pray i don't get found by **_IT_*
This is this channel's first step towards turning into a dedicated Reddit channel. Should I be worried? Let's stay tuned to find out.
he's had other Reddit videos, don't worry
At least he puts some effort into it. can't say that about the others
@@ManOfRialto Yes absolutely! Love this channel to bits.
It's only time to be worried if I stop narrating and use that text-to-speech guy voice instead. That is unforgiveable.
As long as he doesn’t does the Reddit text to speech voice
Several years ago my depression was severe, I hadn't cleaned the house in almost a year. One day it was like a flip switched, I was feeling great and decided to clean. There were a couple bags filled with garbage from the floor, old food, cigarettes and ashes. I had to run out and came back. Beagle tore open the bags, crap that I spent all day cleaning up was back all over the floor. Fell to my knees and sobbed as my beagle wagged her tail. This is one of many horrible stories from that dog, we still laugh at them all and miss that evil dog.
Chaotic evil
My dog brutally murdered all my relatives. Ah, what a funny memory, I still look back at it to this day.
Holy fuck that is so evil
I thought you said beaver
@@user-fg3dz5kv7q this one time my dog ate a bee ;-;
My cat woke everyone in my apartment up in the dead of night. She'd climbed up onto my exercise ball and the ball did not appreciate kitty claws. It didn't just pop it went off with a noise like a GUN SHOT, I've never seen a cat scream out of a room so fast. The ball was FUBAR, and the cat is 18 now. Still love her though.
A GUN DOSE YOU CAT BY CHANCE HAVE A REVOLVER!?
hearing damage speedrun
I'm sure there was a kitty shaped hole in the space time continuum for a second? /jk
@KayPrescesky more like kitty shaped teleport residue lol she was GONE
Silly kitty. Do you still have her? 💖
My dog ate my wife’s Adderall. This event happened while my wife and I were at work; when my wife came home for lunch she found a normally excited 1 year old husky, zoned out staring at the wall while sitting on our couch like a tripping stoner. He would live after a night at the emergency vet and a $1500 veterinarian bill.
Why did I read this as 'My dog ate my wife Adderall?
@@butternut3726 more like "my dog ACTUALLY ate my wife"
I’m currently wearing pyjamas that has a massive hole in the knee
Thanks Chester
@@oshit31 damn, now that's a tragedy, a tragedy of comfort.
Well at least they survived. Sucks that it happened and that the bill was so large though.
My dog, a black lab, is fond of lying down in the darkest areas of the house. She actually does this because when you step on her you immediately have to fuss her and give her cuddles and she loves the attention. The down side is she will lie at the top of the stairs in the dark and you cannot see her. How one of us hasn’t died yet is beyond me
@@tricksfollies9549 yesterday my dog got so excited to go for a walk that she put her foot in my dads shoe AS he was putting it on and she hurt her foot and acted like it was HIS fault lmaoo
i have a black cat and she does this unintentionally... i think
@@rienn8559 my dog absolutely plans these manoeuvres
My old dog was a black lab mix! She would do this too and I got really good at feeling around with my feet and knowing where she likes to sleep so I could step over her. My grandma was not so accustomed, however. I'm very grateful she did not trip and break a hip. It was actually pretty funny when she would kick her on accident. You would just hear a dog noise and then a Japanese lady saying "oh Sallie! Sorry! So sorry, Sallie!" in the middle of the night. Something about the purity of my grandma profusely apologizing to my dog was so cute.
@@salemccc awww That’s so sweet,my Nan was the exact opposite,she was like these animals are awfullll
And said “well don’t sit in my seat,then.”
(then secretly spoiled them and loved them to absolute death)
Despite how disgusting those later stories were, I was legitimately laughing throughout the entire thing.
Me too🤣
Same here.
What why disgusting? Now i'm scared
@@redlophix5670 shat in the kids nose.
Yeah same here
My mom spent the better part of a year growing these fancy blue pumpkins that someone gifted her. We’d gotten our retriever probably a few months before the fruit had started growing. My mom brings our dog down to the garden to check on the first pumpkin, which was about the size of a fist at this point. While she’s not looking, the dog plucks the pumpkin and carries it off into the yard, looking so proud of the new “ball” she’d found. None of the other pumpkins grew in.
List of things my dog has eaten:
-Underwear
-Used pads
-Rabbit shit
-About 50 pencils
-A chocolate orange my mom wrapped up for Christmas
-My 3DS
-An entire couch cushion
List of things my dog won't eat:
-Dry dog treats
“USED PADS” WHAT- omg wtf why would your dog eat that
@@k4ylee108 dogs eat shit and vomit. this is easily believable.
@@k4ylee108 I think it's the blood
@Joseph Field I honestly have no clue how he did it
What the fuck a 3DS
My two dogs, Stella and Sparky, are the reason I learned about the birds and the bees at an early age, what with how regularly they went at it. Sparky also had an unfortunate habit of getting stuck inside of Stella. The two then usually proceeded to freak the hell out about it. This was unpleasant for all parties involved, but especially for my dad, who had to disconnect them.
well i mean. it's a normal biological function for dogs to get "stuck" in each other. it's literally supposed to happen
@shoop i am not joking unfortunately
@shoop It's called knotting, they do that to have a higher chance of having offspring. Unfortunately, some dogs instinctively do this but somehow forgot how to undo it once they're finished. So they get stuck in the female's hole.
My granny had both male dogs, Alfie and Ollie, they also went at it quite a lot I remember me, my sister, auntie and two uncles walked into the living room and they were going right at it on the table in the middle of the room, I remember my aunt had to separate them with a pillow while me and my younger sister were dying of laughter
@shoop I’m pretty sure it’s a thing evolved so pullout can’t happen
Super late, but my cat was diagnosed with cancer in December 2022. Since we knew he didn’t have long, we got him a kitten so he’d have a buddy during this rough time. It was great, until the kitten decided to jump on his head every morning and chase him around the house incessantly. We’d hear loud running, then a hiss, and kitten would come barreling down the stairs away from him. However, when she wasn’t around bothering him, he’d go looking for her, so I suspect that part of him loved the chase/being around her, as it kept him active and might’ve bought him a few months of life. He’s since passed on, but I hope he’s still watching over us, watching his annoying little sister grow up. RIP Mocha, you were the best boy.
Now I’m imagining being a kid dying of cancer and my parents deciding to have a new baby because they think I’d “like it.” Like 1. why would I want to play with a baby while I’m feeling sick, 2. it takes attention and time away from me, and 3. it would feel as if they were planning to replace me when I died 😂
unfun fact: mocha means piss in russian
@@ilikecheese4518 how is that "unfun" plenty of people would name their cat Piss in english.
@@ursfanMy boyfriend literally calls his cat "Stinkrat"
My oldest childhood dog started really struggling with age and arthritis at about 14 years of age. We (very spontaneously) adopted antothr dog, and while young Sam was definitely the alpha of the house, he always stuck next to Bones and would frequently lick his ears or guard him from the scary outside. Bones actually started walking again and lived for about two more years.
My Grandma's cat ate my homework. I had to then explain that to my teacher the next day. She hated me, so she refused to call my parents to confirm this and just gave me afterschool detention.
Dad comes to pick me up and when he tells her I wasn't lying she just laughs it off "Oh really, I didn't know that really happened" like she hadn't just yelled at me in front of the whole class and wasted an hour and a half of both mine and my Dad's time.
What a piece of trash. Some teachers are so awful.
It's so fun to read all these horrifying stories when I have two cats that are suspiciously well behaved. I have an old man (16 or so) and a random stray cat off the street. The worst thing either of them has done is miss the litterbox
😱 the horror
I think they are plotting to kill you
@@f-106deltadart i always worry about that
Clearly they’re plotting world domination behind your back.
strays are often really, really intelligent, as they lived life on the streets, so they understand that you give them a place to live, rather than them giving you the right to exist
Due to sleeping on a couch for many years, I've developed the habit of sleeping completely motionless, and having to wake up in order to roll over in bed. One night, I woke up briefly to roll over, and my 90% asleep brain registered a noise. Being only awake enough to roll over, my brain went "Oh, it's raining, how soothing." A second later, it occurs to me that it was the middle of the summer and it hadn't rained in a week. Emergency button effectively punched, I shot up in bed, and I see my cat Katara pissing on the books in my bookcase. We made eye-contact, she shut off the stream, and bolted from the room at full speed. I had recently been reading a lot more, so my best guess is that this was done intentionally as a protest, but she didn't account for the possibility of me waking up and catching her, and she panicked.
She's the great waterbender we know.
She's finally stepped up her game with piss-bending
@Echo Miko HANDS OFF MY CHILDHOOD
@@wieldylattice3015 it's true tho!! Why did she never think of that? It's far easier than working out to sweat!
I know why, because it's a kid cartoon. I will shut up now, because I love it too
@@echomikoart or just take out the fucking H2O molecules out of the air
@@TheTurdle that was before she learned the skill, it took the bloodbender episode for her to even consider it.
Not entirely her fault, tbh.
She still could've piss-bended, tho.
When my cat, Ruby, was a kitten, she had a cold. She's always been very small, so as a kitten she was tiny. I had her on my chest and then I yawned. She stuck her little head in my mouth and I couldn't do anything but sit there. Then she sneezed. As I stated before, she had a cold. Didn't get sick though!
are you certain she had a cold or was she pretending until the perfect moment?
Cat colds can’t make humans sick and the same goes the other way around
@@tacossmiley well yes but typical animal sicknesses don’t tend to infect or affect humans
the mental image of this is hilarious
That’s actually so cute to imagine, Funny, but cute
I am in absolute tears....thanks for these laughs.
Here are a few from my family:
MIL's dog would lay protest poops if she was leaving "outside of the approved schedule", and just like that cat, by the front door, to spread "the cheer".
Said dog got to know my old dog, who I still miss. She was chill in person. Puppy running over her? Meh! Buddy's 2-year old poking her finger in dog's eye and butt? Meh! So we come to visit, she literally grabs him with her front paws and humps him, right after we entered the house. We were mortified.
She also casually stole a loaf of fresh bread off the counter, chewed through the bag and downed the whole thing, she licked butter, stole goldfish crackers out of kids' hands, chips out of people's hands, any food reachable was fair game, from ham to ice cream, she also busted through the fence, got into neighbour's house and hoovered their dog's food. One trip to the off-leash, she found another dog's poop, so she laid on it with her head and pushed it along for like 50 ft. We drove home with open windows, in the midst of winter.
My cat used to get locked into our neighbors' barn like once a month. Every time I heard some faint desperate meows in our garden I knew I had to get him out of there again. It was such a frequent occurence that, at some point, our neighbors even told us where they hide their barn keys. Thankfully, after eight years, he seems to have learned his lesson. I fully expect to eat my words.
I also have a tortoise who loves to bite people. He'll keep chasing after you, no matter how many times you move away. This can be pretty annoying but I admire his determination. He's managed to bite a piece out of my dad's shoe and my mom's ankle.
I can't help but imagine the movie "It follows" but instead of the ghost slowly chasing you it's your tortoise
@@littletechn8175 I CAN'T OH MY GOD
please tell me you don’t mean it bit a piece out of your mom’s ankle too
@@littletechn8175 It's more like a classic slow zombie, with the exception that it won't turn you into a tortoise if it bites you.
@@honeyinteaa Oh, it did. A small piece but still, a piece.
"stupid dumb weiner pee" is going to be hard to replace as the funniest thing Matt has ever had to read.
*”i w a n t t o s l e e p o n y o u r c h e s t t o n i g h t”*
i may have an odd sense of humor but for me it's CREPPY from the misspelled cakes video
idk, I like "Shit-Puke dog's arse"
@@uranian-Umbra read that in his voice
6:07
Having raised my rescued rabbit I am without without doubt his favourite person. However my niece (who is a toddler) likes to think she's his favourite person and is constantly keeping him company.
I remember the day vividly. I came outside after being away from them for 5 minutes and they were upto of the garden. My rabbit saw me, got excited, proceeded to shit violently on my nieces new shoes and ditched her to run down the garden to me. I pissed myself laughing.
Sigma male rabbit
What did your niece think of this incident?
this sounded fake bruh
@@eliasmarbina2279 Bizzare isn't it?
"hooman! Fuck you, tiny bitch, I'm going to see my hooman!!"
I used to have a cat who would occasionally get diarrhea. Whenever it happened she would get scared and start running around the house. We had to replace a lot of furniture.
Also, I feel so bad for the kid whose prosthetic was stolen! That must have been so expensive to replace!
My cat tore half a mouse’s face off and brought it into the conservatory. Looked like the terminator’s rodent cousin.
Oh, my. Not the conservatory. How very gauche.
@@SIS3W3N I’m guessing that’s a posh joke, but I have no clue what gauche means and I’m currently eating a chocolate cake with my bare fingers, so yeah.
my cat put half of a mouse in my christmas stocking
@@Cardinalt youre what.
@@99morphine It was a good cake.
after seeing this, I have an idea for a great video you could make: a multiple choice guess-what-the-question-was after we have only seen the answer. for example, you show us the response "he shit on the roof, no idea how", then provide a few possible questions like "what have your siblings done that left you dumbfounded" or "what's the worst thing your pet has done" then we have to guess the correct question. call it A&Q or somthing.
Thats beautiful idea
sounds similar enough to his "can you guess" series
THIS IS AN AMAZING IDEA BAHAHAHAHDJFJSKD
Jacksfilms
so jeopardy?
I was five or six years old when this happens :
As a kid, most of us likes to read stories from a kid's book right? I was doing that while my cat is on my lap facing the book i was reading. I dont know what triggers her, but she suddenly turns around to me and attacked me until my face looks like someone who got into a car accident. I was so confused i didn't feel pain. My parents panicked and rushed me to the hospital. Turns out i just simply accidentally squished my cat's toe
So when I was little our mom bought me and my sister a cute little male black kitty for Christmas (that we sadly had to give away months later since it was too much to take care of with us and the other cat) and I wanted to hold our current older cat to show them, and he rocked my shit UP. He’s gotten “nicer” now, but whenever he stares at me when I’m looking down at him I try to back away just in case that happens again
When I first got my two cats when I was in second grade, (I also have a black male cat) I didn't know how to hold him. So one time I had just like draped him over my shoulder right? Then my dad sneezed at such ungodly levels of dad sneezes and coco dug all of his front claws INTO my shoulder and used that as his base to jump off and escape to hide.
The first time he came to sit on my lap, I was wearing pajamas that had short shorts. He was just standing on my lap when my dad, yet again, either coughed or sneezed so loudly, it scared Coco AGAIN and he AGAIN used his claws and my body as a jump start for a leap into hiding. Had a giant scratch from the upper mid of my thigh to my knee.
@@tabithaoftoby6087 Your dad needs to pay sneeze/cough fines.
@@renhaker
That's why an animal isn't a christmas present. Shame on you people.
@@saagabragi6938 jesus christ it was obviously years ago. They most likely learned their lesson
My dog, who was only like 7 months old when this happened, ate my dad’s edibles. We knew something was wrong because he is a lab, and they are ridiculously energetic as puppies, but he was utterly lethargic.
My cat died the day after college started while I was halfway across the country. She was an absolute nightmare sometimes, but I don't think I've ever cried harder than I did that night. Rest in peace, Shaharazad, I still love you.
I'm so sorry to hear that, losing a pet is never easy. I lost one of my dogs and my cat within 5 months of each other. Dog went downhill literally in the space of a couple of days then put down, and my cat was hit by a car. I'm still devastated about them both
WAAAAAAAA-
Bruh, how large is your mouth
Don't worry, Shahazarad probably resurrected using his 8 other lives being a nightmarish housecat for other people now
Maybe one day you'll pass a cat. And unknown to you, that cat could've been Shahazarad's other lives
@Yousef Ali Yeah, but you can never just replace a pet
About 12 years ago, my mom was going to cook steak for dinner. Got it out to let it thaw, but the dog stole it while she wasn’t looking. We looked all over the house for the missing steak for about 30 minutes before I finally found it in buried in the sock basket, unharmed.
Rest In Peace, Corrie. I’m glad we got to spend 13 years with you.
My cat brought a live snake in the house, and looked just as shocked as I was when it slithered away. It took me a half an hour while my mom held my younger brother standing in the couch frantic. Then, when I finally caught it, he snatched it out of my hands. He pranced around like HE caught it, and then it slithered out of his mouth and he was in shock. Cue another chase scene between me and a snake. He also left a dead mole on my bed
That's actually pretty cool
@@PureheartFisher
It was less cool in the moment, but it’s a cool story ig
What kind of snake? If you know that is, i want to know of i should feel bad for laughing at this if it was dangerous, if you dont know you could describe it to me, i may know the species lol
@@hereticFox716
It was just a garter snake. Not really dangerous but can leave a nasty bite. Mostly just hurts for a few minutes tho
@@-jupiter-3140 are you sure it was a garter snake? They secrete a foul musk for just this kind of occasion. It may have been a similar looking species.
_(This is more annoying than anything else.)_
I own a cat _(Shrödy, named after Shrödinger's cat)_ who is head over paws in love with me. She follows me just about everywhere. If I do the laundry, she follows me downstairs. Like , I can't brush my teeth without her jumping on the sink, making me spit over her body that she puts in the way. This makes any home improvement project even more problematic, cause she just sits all over the project and trills and meows for pets, or wants to play with little screws and wire nuts. *ARGH!* 😠
Regardless, I moved into my new house a couple of years ago. I decided to put flappy cat doors going to every room, because I wanted my cat to have maximum freedom. Hopefully, she would find other things to do than bother me constantly.
_Boy, was I wrong..._
Now every time I take a crap, she visits me, the little pooper snooper. If I don't pet her constantly, she nuzzles my sensitive thigh. If I continue to ignore her, she _"love bites"_ my ass! I can't crap in peace anymore without Shrödy, the Butt-Muncher, surprising me by sinking her pointy sharp teeth in my _"booty fold"_ that hangs over the toilet seat. 😫 She's like the overly attracted girlfriend meme, but she's a cat. 🙄
I-I don’t even know how to respond to that.
@@Alex-su3hx _But you just did..._
😆
The only thing annoying about this is the way you type. It's like a 2015 self insert Tumblr oneshot.
BOOTY FOLD?
@@Mythicalregretevator while I'm not obese (I weigh 208 as of this morning) I do have some flab on my butt cheeks. It makes a "muffin top" on my small toilet seat. Does that help?
I had to say goodbye to my cat last Monday. He has never done anything bad. He helped me through his 8 short years here. Him and his brother stopped me self harming. I miss him so much. We're burying his ashes tomorrow and we have got a white rose Bush as he liked to eat the dead leaves off the other rose Bush me have. Rip chip. I will always love you and thank him for all the times he has saved me from ending it.
Could you fucking not?
This video was posted a year ago with 7K comments and ur comment was one of the first ones I saw (🤷♀️) First of all let me say, losing a pet is the same as losing a family member. Second of all, my daughter unalived herself 6 yrs ago and it ripped my family apart (with grief) I’m not gonna preach religion or anything of that shit to you but what I will say is, I’m just a random stranger commenting on ur comment but if at anytime you need to talk, day or night, I’m always around. I don’t know a thing about you but I do know this…you’re important. And loved. ❤
@@TeddyLovesAxl super wholesome reply! I’m another person with mental health struggles and reading things like this genuinely brightens my day.
To all who are reading this, please take care.
@@MigattenoBlakae 🥲🙏❤️
I can relate. My cat died a couple of weeks ago, he was only 9 years old. I really miss him, he certainly could keep my spirits up. 😢❤ Rip Mycroft
Consumed a whole stick of butter
Edit: it was the third time he had consumed an entire stick of butter
_w h a t_
Wtf-
Wait WHA
Me as a dog!
No seriously i used to LOVE eating butter when i was younger...
_what in the name of fucks is going on with your pet_
So my mom went to the bathroom, leaving her freshly made ghost pepper quesadillas on the counter. My big dog Hunter and my cat Das promptly came into the kitchen, and working together they managed to take down the quesadillas and eat them both. Hunter just shat everywhere two minutes later and Das had heartburn, then threw up on Hunter and on multiple newly laid carpets. For the next 4 days.
as soon as i saw "ghost pepper quesadillas" i went _oh no_
Because of my dog I learned the hard way that I have to put my food in my bedroom and lock the door if I want to do something before eating it.
I can't tell which is worse, the cat or the dog
Well " *das* " not good! :D
I'll see myself out.
Hid his suffering from us until it was too late 💔 I miss you Sam, you were my rock and life isn't the same without you. I hope to see you again when my time comes around.
I remember, my teacher at my school told me about the time her dog killed one of her neighbor’s cat.
What made it worse was the fact that the cat that was killed was owned by an elderly man, who’s grandson had just died like a few weeks prior, and that the cat was one of many kittens.
RIP Unidentifiable Cat. ❤️❤️❤️
If I were that teacher I'd put that mutt down.
@@1227CGanimated Sit need the cone of shame ,shave of shame and much more
That's why I absolutely hate dogs.
Rip
@@TallyMarkAB and tear, until it is done.
as someone who's dog died really recently, this video made me laugh, and the end made me tear up a bit (in a good way). i miss you, Cole. You were best fluffy boy i could have asked for
Yeah your dog was great I'm sure but what's the longest it went without shitting on something
@@ramsanders6941 a long time (if you dont count going outside of course) actually! he was house-trained haha
Well now you've made me sad
@@southernsanandreassuperaut9748 Aw, i'm sorry about that :(
@@captainiplier9162its ok
I watched this while eating a chocolate flan, thanks Matt.
Ooof
O u c h
I am eating honey and I'm at the ceiling shit one
You poor soul
@@Matt_Rose more like... woof
Our first dog when I was little was a sweetheart. The gentlest little doggie, timid and empathetic. She was feeling sick one night. We were trying to comfort her. Mom had her on her lap. Suddenly, Daisy sat up and her ears went flat against her head. She slowly looked up at mom very guiltily and tensed up. “If you throw up on me,” mom warned, “you’re a dead dog-!” Daisy immediately emptied her stomach contents onto a steaming pile of puppy barf onto mom’s chest. She slowly looked back up at mom with a deeply apologetic look on her face and stared at her. I got to witness this as it was happening. I was breathlessly howling with laughter, rolling on the carpet while mom, unsure whether to laugh or cry, just stared back at Daisy. For like ten whole seconds of unmoving shock.
We still laugh about it. And no, mom did not get angry with her, it was to funny and pitiable.
Daisy was a genuine angel. I would elaborate, but I don’t want to make anyone else cry as I am. Cherish your pets. You have no idea how much you really love them until they’re gone. ❤️
When I started typing this reply, my finger slipped and typed “XD” which is not correct. Here’s what I was intending to write:
🫡
My dog used to take the lid off of the butter container, eat all of the butter, and *put the lid back on.* we didn't suspect him for like a year, until we watched him, standing all the way up the shelf, eating the butter.
i'm more impressed than he could put the lid back on tbh
I mean dogs like peanut butter so
Damn, boy knew how to cover his tracks.
@@Async_Entertainmentnot peanut butter, *butter*
I think you should record him doing this, you could get a lot of views. Some of these stories require photographic/videographic evidence to be believed. _(No offense, I believe you, I'm just surprised that your dog is that clever to put the lid back on.)_
When Corona was a huge thing in our country and I was in quarantine, I had a online meeting for school. I did not know my cat had caught a BAT the night before, and the MOMENT I had to do my presentation, the bat came flying out of the curtains and started through the ENTIRE FUCKING HOUSE. Thanks a lot, Charlie,
He's trying to start the virus again!😂
A Chinese spy!
that cat thinks the bat is a thing where it rhymes with cat
this reminded me of the time a bat just randomly got into my house lmao
Our old dog Sophie, been gone since about 2016, was a really sweet Greyhound/border collie mix. The worst thing I can recall her doing is literally knocking our sliding glass door off of its rails from pure joy after we got back home from a 1 week vacation.
My old cat scratched everyone to shit then abandoned us for the miserable old woman next door. Its been like 11 years and I'm still pissed
My cat. Ate. Grandma
Me . Cat
someone call the paramedics i think hes having a stroke
@@sponch7193 how am I stroking?
@@unfathomable3434 I think they're talking about the two replies above them.
My pet loves to hunt. The usual stuff like leaves and birds can be brought in by him, but one time he just dragged in a dead duck. Not duckling, a fucking duck.
Keep your pets inside you're endangering the wild animals, so selfish.
What did you do with it?
@@skeletoninyourbody9896 shut up
@@skeletoninyourbody9896 bruh squirrels aren’t gonna go extinct anytime soon
I’m with a the rest other than you skele
Most traumatizing: when I was a kid, my sister’s cat killed our gerbils in the middle of the night. Found out when I needed a midnight pee and discovered she had not only killed them, but placed my gerbil in front of my room and my sister’s in front of her room. I know she was just trying to feed us, and I loved her, but wtf
Grossest: My new kitten decided a fresh dog poop (which my dad’s dachshund did out of spite) was the perfect thing to pounce on. This same cat grew up to take the smelliest shit in our new kitten’s litter box to welcome him to the family.
What the actual fuck 😂
"wtf" the "fuck" is exactly what you described. a cat physically cannot understand that the gerbil was a pet, it was just food to it. you don't have to be appreciative of it, but you don't have to be confused either, especially when you already understand?
@@DarkShard5728 the "wtf" comes from the coincidence of her trying to feed us our own gerbils. She couldn't have known which one was mine and which one was my sister's
@@shinerstheseagull it's weirdly placed in the sentence, then
@@DarkShard5728 My bad, but at least it's cleared up. I tend to have trouble organizing my thoughts, lol
My dog ate a gingerbread house, but made sure to hide the pieces that she left so that she could get to them later. Shockingly smart, yet evil.
My fish was prefectly well-behaved for his whole life.
he would make a good governor
@@brainbleach6292 indeed
So like… 2 days?
That you know of
@@margaritapeggyschuylervanr2486 an hour?
My sister was visiting like she usually does (big age gap; she's got a house and two tween kids and I only just graduated college)
She's excited to see our adorable adhd corgi like she usually is.
She picks him up smiling, and he excite-pisses right into her mouth.
It was horrendous, but my brain decided to laugh since it wasn't me.
That sounds hilarious but also like you’ll die in moments by laughing at her for such a bad moment 😂
NOOOO
You just reminded me, I used to have a Pomeranian that was just scared of everything. I took her to the vet one day and I was holding her in my arms to try to soothe her. A little girl walks up and asks if she could pet the dog, to which said dog replies by pissing all over me. I looked at the girl and said "I don't think that would be a good idea" as this dog continued to drench my shirt
how is she now?
how did she get in the position for him to be able to piss in her mouth.
I miss you Tabitha, you were the best cat in the world. You were more loving and intelligent than any other cat I've ever met and no other could ever replace you. The world is a far darker place for lacking you.
Sorry for your loss
im sorry for ur loss. But she is in ur heart
What did she do tho?
My friend's name is tabitha😮
I was sick during a family party so I had to stay in a room with the cats.
When my cousin came in to say hello, my one cat proceeded to try mauling his leg MULTIPLE TIMES. We had to put him in the closet whenever he came back.
Dog stole a prosthetic leg, dog pissed on a wheelchair. What do dogs have against disabled people?
And barks to asians! Smh my head lets cancel dogs >:)
My dog doesn’t like rocks , but loves Indians
@@passione6443 your dog vs dewain "da rock" johanneson
@@foxinabox5103 - Every twitter stan ever
Everything
We've had three dogs.
Haggis, our first, pissed on my dad while out on a walk.
Daisy once ate my glasses and four bars of soap - not all at the same time.
Hartree, our current dog, is an angel, but when she was a puppy she would engage in stealth-pissing. That is, she would piss in places you wouldn't think to check, like bath mat or under the dining room table
Haha
I'd live in constant pain if I had to smell dog piss and have to search everywhere just to clean it up everyday LOL
My old dog charlie ate my glasses too (twice.). and the WOODEN dining table and she slept on the table when we weren’t there and she ran away one time and she swam in a little pond with ducks we lured her back with bologna and our other dog
My dog luna ate all the trash
my dog penelope ate it with luna
my dog Prince peed on the kitchen rug and puked on my bed then proceeded to eat it. and ate my school book under my bed.
and luna and prince humped other dogs and stuffed animals
and my cat mama cat she would take bread off the counter and we’d wake up with bread all over the stairs
and there is WAY to much to say
She ate four bars of soap?
Haggis is an adorable name for a dog
This video literally made me grateful to how polite my two cats are, they aren’t perfect of course, but in comparison to some of the pets in this video... yeah
Yeah imagine one of them throwing up in a long dark orange slime on the kitchen floor the second night you had them.
Holy cungadero it's a bullet everywhere oh
And this little sognoeme is spcaerd and the bulrkets in the tace a d die you must have to xo
Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo Dog Hobo
Yeah same, I'm so thankful that my 3 cats are fairly calm. Other than some little scratches or hairballs now and again they're pretty much perfect. The worst thing they've done is shit in my bed and that was only one time and it was the first night they spent with us, so they weren't trained yet lol.
My eldest dog (seen here to the left) once ate putrid diarrhoea left by another dog in field then got home and threw it all up on my living room. In my entire life I've never seen anything as vile. She also took advantage of a dead flattened hedgehog, rolled all over it and got it stuck right in her coat. Had to peel that thing off with my actual hands 🤢 She shit in my daughter's laundry basket on the sly and didn't tell anyone. Worst thing is my daughter doesn't live at home any more so it wasn't until the day after I discovered the dried up colossal turd sat on top of clean clothes.
She broke away from training as a youngster and chased after a rogue crisp packet caught in a gust of wind and kept going for over half a mile. She risked life and limb chasing an empty packet of "Skips" prawn cocktail crisps.
my mum's favourite story to tell about her childhood dog, Daisy, was how she /always/ stole the avocados off the neighbors' windowsill. she did it every time for months and the whole time the neighbors thought my grandpa was doing it. they decided to stay cool and just try to catch him one day instead of confronting him. one day they were all outside the neighbors' house and Daisy came trotting out with an avocado in her mouth
I gotta know what the response was to that!
That's actually hilarious
The one about the kitten shitting on a house training book wasn’t an accident, it was an actual power move.
Yeah that was definitely a 'Look, bitch, let's make one thing clear: I'M in charge around here, OK?' assertion of dominance.
I almost got evicted when renting a room in a home with a dog and cat because the doorknob to my bedroom didn't always close all the way, anyway I thought I had closed the door all the way in the morning, left for the day and then got a call from the homeowner that their dog had dragged my trash from my trashcan all over their newly cleaned floors, and I'm pretty sure some of it was what remained from a pint of melted ice cream. I was mortified and the worst part was I felt deeply ashamed and scared to confront them while I technically didn't do anything wrong. Also the dog seemed to dislike me so I wasn't even like "aw it's ok sweetie", more like "why did you have to do that I never hurt you 😒", I think she had an issue with me, was never aggressive, but almost always avoided me. Maybe she secretly was smarter that I thought and wanted me evicted because she did it twice and eventually I had to make sure I either took out the trash can or just kept it ON THE TOP SHELF every time I left the house, just in case. Luckily their cat was a sweetie who seemed to thoroughly enjoy my company and didn't cause me any issues.
It's ridiculous to blame you when their dog did it - I don't mean it's the dog's fault, dogs gonna dog, it's the owner's responsibility to ensure the rooms they provide are properly pet-proofed, for everyone's comfort
That's like getting evicted because the landlord's kid punched a hole in your front door. That's ridiculous, it's their animal and their responsibility
My dog Daisy (big ass German Shepherd and Great Dane mix) who was trying to cuddle everyone on the couch simultaneously, causing her to lay on the remote and break our tv
Our old dog (Malamute) was a proficient hunter. He was the bane of birds, grubs, and rodents alike. Though, he could never catch a skunk no matter how hard he tried, and instead would get stink bombed. Well, one morning he was outside and started barking at the door. My dad, bleary eyed, went to go say good morning to him and let him in. When my dad reached down to pet the pup, he ever so gently deposited a severed squirrel head into my dad’s hand all while smiling and wagging his tail like a kid showing off a homemade father’s day card.
There was also the one time he tried catching an opossum. He’d run up to it, it played possum, he sniffed it, and would then patrol the yard all proud-like while the possum quietly got up and started walking off. At least before my dog saw that the opossum WASN’T actually dead and ran over to do the same thing over and over until the opossum safely made it out of our yard.
RIP Ajax, love you still, buddy.
Holy shit
I have been in a terrible place last couple of months
This man made it all better in about 4 hours making me cry tears of fuckin laughter
get this man a million subscribers
Hope you're doing ok
@@Scriblyn Hi random person on the internet!!! I'm talking more care of myself and surrounding myself with people I enjoy and slowly helping myself so yes I'm doing pretty good :D
@@thyorangelord2768 That's great!!
What kind of terrible place? Utah?
You and me both
One of my childhood cats hated everything, and she would pee on things to let us know she didn't like it. She was... not exactly right in the head. She had some sort of problem during kitty puberty that left her mean until the day she died. She was the softest, fluffiest cat I've ever pet. I miss her.
I guess you could say your cat was... *pissed off*
@@Average_Brody lmao I constantly made that joke! No one ever laughed.
F
@@0BucketMask0 Really? That's crazy!
@@0BucketMask0 Maybe it felt death coming and decided to leave on a good note
I used to have a dog about seven years ago, she used to run upstairs, start chewing the corner of the wall, until it got to a point where she was literally eating part of the wall and left a giant chunk of it gone, and sometimes after she’d finished, she would run down the stairs as fast as she could, turn into the living room, and run head-first into the table.
I have a 120 pound bloodhound who, in his hayday, was a horrific food thief. I could talk about the multiple sticks of butter or the entire loaf of chocolate chip banana bread, but I think the funniest one was my grandmother's birthday cake. Me and my mom had been slaving away over a lemon pound cake and had just pulled it out of the oven. It was piping hot and we needed to glaze it, so we left it out to cool while we watch a show. Eventually the episode ended or some timer went off, and we decided it was probably cool enough to glaze. We walked into the kitchen to find the cake still on the counter, with a comically large bite taken out of it, and the dog standing on the floor next to it with crumbs all over his mouth. Nowadays he has a hard time standing up, thanks to the arthritis, but even that doesn't stop him from nicking food off the table when he can.
i used to have a male labrador dog (we have to give him back to the shelter after some events happened.) i was pretty young when he had him for the short time we did. the worst thing i can remember him doing was that he ate an entire 24 pack of crayola sidewalk chalk in the middle of the night, then in the morning proceeded to take the largest, most colorful poop of his doggy life. he then smelled it for a bit, ate it, vomited it up, and liquid squirted out the rest. both the vomit and the second round of turds were laced with vibrant pastel colors
Really, what even are dogs...
OMG my old lab mix did the same thing, but with wax crayons!
I think that was the event you mentioned 😮😂
@@miaomiaochan 4 legged vacuums
@@KayPresceskywhen I was super young my mom's German shepherd ate a big 120 pack of crayons...poop rainbow was real 😅
Three for the price of one, let's go!
When my dad was a kid (we're talking 60s/70s) he lived in a small town surrounded by fields. One day, right after a bath, his dog found a pile of pig manure, rolled herself in it, and went back home. He didn't notice immediately and hugged her. They ended up in the bathtub together.
My great-aunt was having guests over from another country and had decided to make cutlets for lunch. The cat hid himself in the kitchen so well that she didn't notice him and locked him inside for about 4 hours. When she and the guests opened the door, the cat dashed out, bits of meat still dangling out of his mouth. I have no idea what they ended up eating, but I would've paid good money to see their faces.
Last but not least, one about my own lovely kitties. A few months ago I went to a local baker and bought a few different kinds of bread. The loaves came packaged individually in paper bags, and all of them were in an organic bag for ease of transport. Well, I drop them off at home, go run some other errands, and come back to the organic bag in tatters and holes chewed in all the paper bags and all the loaves. This from the same cats that had eaten the tips off a bunch of asparagus not one week earlier, but have never touched unattended fish or meat. Needless to say, I don't leave my groceries out anymore...
One of my earliest pet memories was of a brown rabbit named Peanut. I was sitting on the couch when I heard scratching. I climbed up the back of the couch and looked behind it, and there she was, climbing over my dad's guitar cases (which he kept back there). I don't think she did any harm, but I thought it was funny seeing her back there. I guess it's easy to be amused when you're about 3 years old.
there's something about a british man passive-aggressively reading reddit stories that is incredibly satisfying
When my step father bought his hedgehog, the first night it snuck out of her cage, fell off the living room table, then made her way across the hallway and somehow opened my step brother's bedroom door then scared the ever loving shit out of him. This was done while I was at my birth dad's house for the weekend. The next thing she did was during Texas's snow pocolypse when the power went out the hedgehog was put in my room because it was the warmest. Well one night while everyone was asleep she, for some ungodly reason she decided to claw out her eye. We didn't notice until late in to the evening. The poor girl's eye was just hanging out of her head. The most baffling thing about it was that she didn't even seemed like she cared.
My rabbit chewed through my fiber optic cable in one bite, had to call Verizon to replace the whole thing 🤦♀️ Also she chewed a hole in some couch cushions that can’t be flipped around to hide it (and the couch is pretty expensive). But at this point I know her habits, bunny proofed as much as I can, and give her plenty of toilet paper/paper towel cardboard tubes to chew on, so we haven’t had many further issues. Love her to bits :)
Ever had a hamster thats an escape artist....He escaped his cage[Twice] The first was with a guinea pig and a box, The second time, he chewed his way out, Climbed down his Tower of Boxes of items that held his cage at the top, and started trying to chew his way out through the wall. We duct tapped his cage afterwards and now have missing wall shavings on the wall.
Note:We had to give away our pets cause of our allergies. But we never got rid of the hamster....We were too scared to give him to anyone knowing what would happen. I'M TELLING YOU MAN HE AINT NO HAMSTER THATS A MAN DRESSED AS A HAMSTER-
Omygosh yes.
As a kid I understood death play football and basketball with my pet hamster I now feel bad for it
@@ethansuarez4722 I almost had a stroke reading that
@Ethan Suarez r/ihadastroke
@@ethansuarez4722
You understood death after you killed your hamster by using it as a football?
I could go over the 6 dogs I've had/had the pleasure of meeting over the last few years, and how one tried to eat my face, or how another pissed on my mother's shoulder in the car (I seriously don't know how he pulled that one) but the main one that comes to mind is when Bossy (yes, he was the boss, and yes, my little 2 yr old brother named him) decided that, mid flight back home, he wanted pets. Somehow he got into the main flight deck, past security, and made it up to my father and mom up in First Class.
Bossy is a chad
hell yeah you go bossy
quite fitting for his name
The worst thing my cat did was bring a dead bird on Mother's Day. It still makes me laugh when I think about it.
They were just rewarding you for being a good mother
My dogs dragged a decapitated cow head into the front yard.
@@omegamemer69420 what
@@omegamemer69420 i think you're a bit too much on drugs
@@youtubestudiosucks978 No im actually serious its not a joke. My dad had to go throw it into the woods in the backyard.
I faintly remember a childhood experience of mine when I still required a highchair to eat. My dad had heated up some pizza for me to eat, and as I picked it up to take a bite, I must have dropped it on the floor. Turns out, my cat, Millie, a tortoise-shell calico with a hankering for cheese, darted out of the basement at full speed, snatched my piece of pizza, and dragged it back down to the basement. I still remember the poignant anger and sadness I felt as I wailed at my lost meal, while my dad stood there laughing his ass off.
8:48
Little Kitty Ted
Hid under the bed.
He didn't bring his cat toys;
No, potatoes instead
We got a kitten a couple months ago. Aside from nonstop trying to eviscerate us, some standout moments include:
-Falling into the toilet and needing to be rinsed off in the bathtub
-Falling into a bucket of water
-Jumping up to claw my face open and managing to STICK HIS PAW IN MY MOUTH AND SCRATCH THE INSIDE OF MY LIP
-Trying to tackle my face while I was holding a giant butcher knife (he's genuinely lucky I didn't end up accidentally bisecting him that time)
And you haven’t returned him? Dang
yeah the kitten stage is rough
ive never had a pet and this convinced me never to get one:
i was at a friend's house once and she owns a cat and a dog. the cat hadn't taken a liking to me and would hiss and cower any time i got near her and i was deathly afraid of dogs at the time. looking back, her dog was pretty sweet, phobias are just irrational. anyway, night came and my friend and i decided to share a bed. there was barely room for two people there but it was still comfortable. later, somewhere around 4am i wake up, halfway hanging off the side of the bed. both the dog and the cat decided to take 80% of my side of the bed and i was just too afraid to do anything about it so i tried to go back to sleep. unfortunately, that didn't happen, because the cat decided to wake up and barf all over my shirt. worst part is, all of this still hadn't woken my friend up so i dealt with the mess on my own and spent the rest of the night sleeping on the floor.
):
Bruh.
@@alexiswilliamsinc bruh is absolutely correct
Hahaha! I brought my outdoor cat into the house, I was maybe 12 and just wanted to show him off. But since he was an outdoor cat I didn’t have a litter box for him and so he takes a huge dump in the potted plant, all my friends are yelling and panicking. But then my brother’s dog comes along, smells the giant turd, and just swallows it whole. Sure it’s absolutely disgusting, but at least I didn’t have to clean it up, and it gave my friends an experience that they would not forget before they moved away, lol.
@@LeviThorgesen WAIT THAT'S HILARIOUS OH MY GOD... im still baffled by what dogs will eat. like, that's shit that just came out a cats ass. jesus.
9:47 the mood change always somehow gets me
The ending made me cry. I lost dog recently and was trying to use my unhealthy coping mechanisms, but now you made me express emotions. Good job Matt, hope you’re happy cause I’m not
Ok??????????
@@jacobholdgate647 ?????????? who asked you
It's a slow and neverending process to grieve. I still call my grandmother's dog, a yorkie called Oliver, by the name of the yorkie my family had growing up. And then I catch myself and I pause and I have to remember Bailey died four years ago. It's hard. Remembering, oddly, helps.
@@joobletmaster5000 this comment
@@joobletmaster5000imagine getting so angry at a neutral word lmao
6:03 the worst part about this it that rabbits cannot be bathed because they could easily go into shock from the water. after this you would have to risk the bunny *dying* from shock or just having an extremely smelly bunny with piss in its fur.
oh, so that's why our first rabbit died
@@oishi_sammich4542 rest in peace
But isn't it wet already? I'm sure they were able to figure something out from there
@@dooddoingstuff just flush 😂
I've got a few actually:
- my dog silently destroyed my only iphone charger while sitting right below me. she also puked on the stairs once and it was the worst thing I had ever had the displeasure of cleaning up
- my other dog used to REGULARLY pee on my rug if I ever left the door open. she also pooped on my rug once while I was asleep and I didn't realize that's what it was when I saw it bc I didn't have my glasses on. I picked it up and got it all over my hand and was horrified. she ALSO figured out how to get through the cat door on the gate leading to where the litter boxes are and if no one is paying attention she'll go through and not only eat cat poop but also *drag her neck through it*. she also sometimes does this with other dog's poop outside...
- my cat sometimes drags his ass across the floor when he has a bit of poop stuck to it, leaving a trail of smeared poop on the ground.
- my other cat tries to eat my phone charger (or any wires he can get paws on) his and tear up the mat under my desk chair EVERY SINGLE TIME I let him into my room. he also attacks ppl's leg if I don't give him attention or literally just any time someone walks by. he's an orange tabby so I guess that's why he's like this
- a dog my dad had before I was born ate a load of sheetrock and pooped white for weeks. he also hoarded a stick of butter and it took giving him an entire pack of ham to give it up
- a cat I had as a kid puked directly on my dad's chest while he was asleep. the smell woke him up. worst thing he did was die tho :(
- another cat I had when I was younger had a panic attack and scratched the shit out of my sister for no reason. he's gone too now tho
- and the first cat's brother was also an orange tabby so I feel like that's self explanatory. don't remember any particularly bad or gross things he's ever done (other than licking my dad's head for whatever reason) but again, worst thing he ever did was die a couple years ago... a week after the cat that scratched my sister died :(((
EDIT: my dog still pisses on my rug if my door is open and now also poops in my dad's office if the door's open, so that's wonderful
My parents' cat was a character. She chased her tail in circles, her breath stank all the time, and she never learned how to bury her "mess" in the litterbox (though she always used it correctly until her last few months, when she would pee wherever ahe pleased... including my dad's foot). Also, under NO circumstances could you leave bread where she could reach it. She would chew through plastic wrap or bags to take a few bites out of anything starchy. Croissants, bagels, cornbread, cookies, and casseroles all fell victim to her appetite. And once, she ate enough plastic to block her colon and cost us thousands of dollars in surgery to remove.
I still miss you, Zinnia.
I've got a few choice stories from my various pets of years past.
- I used to keep fish and once tried to keep a crawdad in the tank, as I heard they would get along with my fish. It did, but it also escaped the tank and hid under a pile of blankets in my sister's room. The shriek that followed was glorious.
- Had an Australian shepherd who ate everything she could get her mouth around including 5+ pairs of jeans, an unfathomable amount of shoes, part of our back deck, and the rim of an inflatable pool.
- Had a black lab/pit bull mix who never escaped except for one time when she dig under the fence, stole our neighbor's shoes, and brought them into our front yard, proudest I've ever seen her. She also bit my cousin, but he grew up to be a hardass bastard cop who ruins people's lives over a half-smoked joint, so I think she just made a good judgement call there.
- Had a cranky old Siamese who loved to be let in (my dad doesn't allow indoor cats), so I let her in for an entire week while the rest of my family were out of town. She then proceeded to rummage through the cabinets in the dead of night, scaring the piss out of me.
- Current dog will hunt any small animal with the audacity to breathe in her presence. My mom got emotionally attached to a groundhog that had decided to wander into our front yard. Guess which animal the dog maimed in front of my mom on a crisp Sunday morning?
- My current cat is a menace in numerous respects, and one of his worst habits is killing small animals and then hiding them. We sometimes don't notice until it starts stinking.
I might think of more later. Our family has had a lot of pets.
why is this the second time ive heard about someones pet crawfish escaping its tank and hiding under clothes/blankets? do crawfish have some sort of bizarre love for soft textures that they dont get in their natural habitats??
Matt's cat is an amazing actor with impeccable comedic timing.
Jokes aside, the message at the end was very wholesome!
7:41 as a Nintendo fan I am internally dying from this story. THIS RETRO STUFF IS WORTH SO MUCH NOWADAYS😭
We had two dwarf hamsters a few years ago. One dreaded day, we discovered that one of them had eaten the other, and the criminal died shortly after. We're never getting small pets again.
It's a _really_ bad idea to put two hamsters in the same cage. They're very territorial
Hamsters are solitary animals that are also very territorial. They have a habit of fighting eachother to the death. A small animal more suited for being in groups would be the guinea pig.
I had a fish that kept eating all the food before the others and they starting eating the fish that died (as they got no food) 😭😭
@@francislee817 What kind of fish was the one that got all the food and what kind of fish were the ones that didn't get the food? Some fish are much faster than others
Similar thing happened to me a few years ago, except my dwarf hamster didnt eat the other one, they beat the shit out of the other one. It got so bad, the other one had to be given away, then died shortly after, the other one also died shortly after. I was like 4 or 5 so idk how i remember but I think its funny now when i think abt it. Traumatising though when i saw blood everywhere.
My Nan's cat once gave birth on the pillow that my dad was using, whilst he was asleep
Oh god. I read that so WRONG
Uber eats
@@aloft_fox647 hshsjsj oh my god
@@aloft_fox647 uber eats now serving *newborn kittens*
thats a wierd place to give birth, but the poor cat had no where else to give birth i guess
Worst thing I could remember him doing was trying to go live with someone else. He had escaped, ran into someone else's home, and tried to stay there. We had looked for hours, and he just chilled with another family. It's not like he hated us either, he just wanted to hang out with another family for the day, Apperently
My friends cat did that but for half a year :/
i am able to tip the scales the one who nobody expects the 69th liker
I’m pretty sure my cat did that for the 1 month she was gone.. she came back near the house as she usually does, with a new collar and smelled nice too! I don’t even know how they managed to clean her- she scratches and bites and is a literal demon.
@@thisisepic3052 someone stole your cat, claimed it at their own, and then gave it back once they realized it would murder them in their sleep
2:07 “you thought you could TRAIN me? Not on my watch.”
I've had 4 cats in my lifetime:
Isis: She was a sweet old cat who did nothing more the swipe at our dogs.
Osiris (I called him Buebue): He was big and fat and once clawed the inside of my eyelid and my tears came out pink.
Ra: He was an all around little sh*t, he would claw toilet paper and start fights with his brother (my aunts cat).
Horus (Goblin): The nickname says it all, he bites our arms even when we just pet him, he's also destroyed toilet paper, he goes places he's not supposed to and trashes said places.
Loved them all, but some of the things they pulled still make me facepalm. Buebue and Isis died before we had moved and Ra had ran away around that time, all living long fulfilling lives. Still have Horus and love the guy and his antic's.
Those are awesome names
I love how the one named isis is the least bad one
i see you take a liking towards Egyptian mythology
I have a female tortie, Bastet. A white Siamese, Ra. A black long haired, Kepheru. A pretty watercolor tortie, Nunu (Nut/Nun). I also have an affinity for Egypt. 🖤
The fact that they are named after ancient egyptian gods
seamlessly made me go from laughing-crying to crying-crying. well done
My dog, Alfie, is the cutest thing ever...
WE WOKE UP AT 2AM TO HIM BARKING AT A BURGULAR ACCROSS THE STREET. Good dog.
I also have a dog named alfie... we wake up to him barking at nothing because he has terrible eye sight
I also have a dog named Aflie. He woke my mum up at 2am to a burglary across the street.
One of our cats Shady once got stuck in a chimney for 4 days. By that day we were fearing the worst, and then a group of little kids knocked on the door, telling us that they’d found him (my mum had posted about him on FaceBook). The family literally had to destroy their own chimney to get him out! We were so grateful. Needless to say Shady was VERY traumatised, he wouldn’t even eat the food they tried giving him, despite being starved for 4 days. But as soon as my mum went to retrieve him, he was as happy as can be, and started eating once he was back home.
I know it’s unfair to have a favourite pet… but Shady is my favourite of ours. I currently have a cold and feel like absolute shit, but here he is, laying on my chest as I type this, giving me such loving eyes. I know I’m his favourite human in this house too 🖤
I appreciate these pets consideration of the environment and their love of recycling.
I remember just chilling in vc and my cat just started biting me, like I did nothing, and she just chose violence
Edit: she doesn't bite me until provoked, but yea this thing happened only once
Cats don't need prompting
yep that's a cat
My cat was sitting on my lap once and she looked at me directly in the eye and then scratched my face. She then jumped off my lap, bit my leg and then ran off…
@@MovhisMocjaoa damn, what type of car you driving
@@Simply_resharkable goddamn it lmao
my only ever pet was a small catfish, named him serpent since he looked like a water dragon to me (a sea serpent).
he just helped the filter for wastes, like poop, by eating it, as catfish normally do.
and he hid near the filter for his deliciousness.
then he disappeared, and my mom told me it was most likely that he died, then the goldfish ate his corpse while I was asleep.
So was he dead or did they just assume that he died?
@@robert.7230 well they said he disappeared and if a fish in a tank disappears it’s probably dead.
Do you know what actually happened?
My dog literally unbuckled my seatbelt…. *well we were still driving!*
Thanks Lucy.
are you a ghost?
@@Vanta526 almost 👍
What a wholesome message at the end