Yea I experienced this quite recently. Things used to be hard and then they went well...so I was anxious about getting panic attacks and messing everything up. What helped me was to have confidence in myself that I have built resilience and I now have the coping mechanisms to deal with such a situation (should it occur). If for some reason the panic attack is beyond my control, I have the confidence that I can ask for help (since I did it before in such a situation).
I am dealing with this right now. but the bath water analogy is saving me. when it happens i just imagine a water surface that was caused to move, and what i need to do is to get the water to be calm again. only one way to do that. Just stare at it, and make sure I am not stressing it more. Works every time for now :) hope it keeps working.
I "catastrophize" a lot, which is a term for one of many cognitive distortions. Basically, worrying about extreme negative consequences. The reality of it is basically summed up in that Twain quote, i.e., most of my catastrophizing fears never end up as reality, and I realize that I was overthinking. Good practice for me is to say, "okay, what if this thing actually happens, then what do I do?" Often I realize, "okay, if it did happen, then it wouldn't actually be the end of the world. I would deal with it if I had to." But more likely, I realize, "eh, this is actually really unlikely. Plus, I didn't even consider the GOOD things that could result, which have at LEAST as much likelihood of occurring." It's very common to worry or catastrophize. The key is to recognize it and address it with more productive tools. It's like a pipe leak. You've just gotta approach it with your toolbag, whip out the wrench, and then tighten the bolts, or patch up the hole. This is a good mindset to approaching any sort of cognitive distortion. And follow-up questions are a good tool to use against them, and to bring things back to reality. Also, I really liked what Dr. K said here in the interview, which was essentially, "you've gotta vent. You have anxiety ricocheting around in your mind, and it's like bottled methane. You've got to uncork it." The tips for journaling, talking to a friend, or therapy are crucially effective tools. And they can help with what I mentioned in regard to bringing things back to reality. When I journal regularly, then such follow-up questions to my cognitive distortions come pretty naturally. E.g., I'll write down my worry, or my catastrophizing, and then it's there on the page, written out, and I'm like, "okay, but... is this it? Is this really so bad? Will I truly be unable to address this if it happens? Is this even likely? What are the good things that could happen instead?" And then I feel better when I address those follow-ups and realize that I was likely just blowing things out of proportion.
ACSHULKY it’s “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." It has the same sentiment but Mark Twain puts it better by flipping the meaning
My favourite Mark Twain quote is... I try never to let School get in the way of my education... oil boy is there a lot to unpack there and then gauge to our perception of reality LOL that and the fact that the source of all human generated misery on the planet stems directly from Monopoly over the economy and monetary system, hence the misery index. Although the misery index is actually calculated by taking the unemployment rate and rate of inflation these two factors are indeed deeply embedded in the root cause of Monopoly over economy and monetary unit. Now there's a shitload to unpack there. Terrifying to realize that what we thought reality to be was completely false, or at least built upon false presumptions of Truth, yet on a lighter note without any fear that can't actually be any opportunity to muster up courage. Good luck folks
It's an interesting pattern I've seen across several topics of mental health, sometimes the best way to regain control is to let go. Accepting that you aren't completely in control is the first step in being able to use what you do have in control to improve and help yourself. It's a paradoxical thought, but it's been borne out time and time again. For example, those who partake in hallucinogenic trips often state that the best way to deal with bad trips is to "let go" and to submit to the trip, which often helps break one out of the cycle of anxiety. Two of my friends with depression have stated a strong reticence towards some treatments and each fear is motivated by a feeling of a loss of control. Each friend has a different level of fear, one has a fear of novel forms of treatment (psilocybin and ketamine) while the other fears even conventional treatments like SSRIs. Very interesting how these topics are interrelated somehow...
Shit kills me, I hate when people say things along the line of "well I shouldnt feel this bad, so many others have it worse" like yeah thats true, but your struggles and the things youre dealing with are still valid and important. it seems like a way to discredit their own emotions
I feel like sometimes, when hearing about others' suffering, people might get overwhelmed because of the amount of suffering in the world, and how much they themselves might be going through. So they tell someone something like this that basically amounts to "well too bad" or "get over it" so they can rationalize dismissing this phenomenon as not real suffering and feeling less overwhelmed from this sort of "care burnout." Other times, they have some kind of notion of coping that simplistically applies a "mind over matter" sort of thinking where they think the person just isn't being "positive enough" and needs to try harder to will their suffering out of existence or will happiness into their existence. - - - However, I agree that just being dismissive like this doesn't help anyone. Just because someone else has it worse, that doesn't mean that the first person has nothing going on or that their issue(s)/problem(s) aren't serious. I believe that we don't have to treat compassion and empathy like scarce resources or commodities distributed in some sort of zero-sum interaction where there is only so much interpersonal care to go around and we all have to claw at each other to get anyone to bother helping us with our problems. Unfortunately, plenty of people seem to operate this way, and it seems to result in the development in what I personally call "Bucket Crab" Syndrome. The world doesn't need more people going like "I suffered, so you have to suffer too" (because "that's fair" as they confuse the relative increase of their happiness with the relative comparison between their happiness and someone else's after someone else's happiness decreases).
I'm very frustrated that I have to do say that in order for my parents to even consider the possibility that I'm not pretending to have mental problems. I constantly have to convince them I'm not doing it for drama, and it's so annoying
there's talking to yourself and there's talking to yourself, it's peddled as a sign of intelligence, but when it first occured to me that other people might do this too (i have imaginary conversations all the time) i polled my friends and workmates and it's a thing a lot of people do, to me it is "rehearsing the future" like if you have a job interview it's a way of working out a strategy, imagining what questions you might be asked and working out answers, my girlfriend is schizophrenic, so she has voices problems, but mostly paranoia, so i rehearse conversations with her because any single wrong word might trigger a psychotic episode, bad day all round, so i spend 90% of my day talking to her but in my head, censoring certain words or ways of phrasing things. but talking to myself is also "light relief", i can laugh at myself and pat myself on the back and be quite self-sufficient.
@@HarryNicNicholas you sound like a really caring boyfriend, although I can’t help but wonder if there’s a way you and your girlfriend could talk through what you spend so much of your time doing, or see a counselor about it, to take some of the burden off you. That sounds exhausting, and a small part of me says i sounds unsustainable, although that’s no slight against you mate.
There is also the: "Am I crazy if I talk to myself?" "No, only if you hear a voice talking back" I'll also add this quote from the classic novel "The old mand and the sea": “If the others heard me talking out loud they would think that I am crazy. But since I am not, I do not care.”
lol. it's taken five years to get her to admit to someone else, me, that there is something not right in the first place, it's taken five years to even be able to talk about her mental health issues, i have no idea what her diagnosis might be other than her father told me he is schizophrenic. she actually acts like she has everything except depression, PTSD, autism, bi-polar. i've had therapy myself in the past, and when i found out how "bad" she was i started getting counselling, but getting her to any kind of therapy seems impossible, her paranoia tells her doctors are bad. and it *is* unsustainable, if she was getting help then there isn't anything i wouldn't do for her, but she isn't and i'm nearly 70, she's wasted five years i can't afford to lose so i have to eject her from my life, i'm an artist and musician, i have better things to do than babysit.
HE WALKS ON HIS TOES!! Think about that for a second, I do this too and have since i was about 13. The reason I started doing it was to sneak around the house in anticipation that if i was caught walking around the house I would get in trouble. We had hard wood floors and it got so bad that, by the age of 16 I could walk the entire house without making a single creak from the floor. I still to this day (24) walk on my toes in my own house, I still shut door with both hands, one on the handle and one on the door frame so that there is absolutely no noise when closing my door, I do the same thing for the microwave and the fridge as well. I wish you could have had him expand on why he walks on his toes because I feel like we have the exact same reason.
I do that too and people have called me a ninja because I have no presence and will spook people occasionally. Mine personally comes from growing up with an abusive mother. My psyche subconsciously discovered that being silent and reducing my presence avoided conflict because my abuser didn't have a chance to think about me.
Well. This is interesting. Never realized I did the tip toe thing until reading this, in the kitchen, on the train, in class, at work. Wow. All the time. Came from sneaking down stairs at night in high school because I wasn't allowed to use the internet so I would "tip toe" down 13 stairs right next to my parents room. Super strict parents. Yet during that time I was also being abused in that same "strict house" and trying to be silent and invisible. Now I realize the narrative because I have CRPS in my right foot. I can't do it anymore. I can't even touch my big toe on it. You only miss something once it's gone.
His childhood literally sounds like basic training for the Air Force. We had a set amount of time to eat which usually meant we were scarfing food down as fast as possible or just didn't get to finish, we weren't allowed to bring any food back to our room, etc. Constantly getting yelled at and if our beds weren't perfect we didn't leave until they were. Yeah, 2 months of that shit was stressful. Can't imagine growing up that way.
Its terrible to grow up that way. Then add in phsyical abuse + mental abuse from your parents every other day. It affects you in so bad ways going into adulthood
my stepdad explicitly called himself the drill sergeant, and would punish us for forgetting to take out the trash or w/e by screaming at us and having us do pushups until we couldnt anymore. he also LOVED making me stand in the corner the room, face the wall and T pose for an hour while he watches tv and made fun of me (or until mom came home)
The military is designed to break you down and turn you into a machine that acts how they need you to. It's a very a mentally and physically abusive process that leads to countless problems that follow soldiers for the rest of their lives.
That part about moments of your life not seeming real, fuck man, never felt depersonalization, but sometimes I feel like I'm acting as an npc, it's like I'm not interacting properly with the world, somewhat like I'm living a low-resolution version of my own life.
@@rickstarz I just want to tell you that you aren't going crazy, you just have anxiety and you're gonna be ok. I've gone through really bad dissociation before so I know what it's like. The first thing to know is that dissociation is caused by anxiety and when you're anxious about dissociating, that makes you dissociate more. Try to stop caring about whether you dissociate or not and trust that you will be ok. One thing that helped me was noticing when I had thoughts that made me dissociate and then distracting myself by doing breathing techniques and then thinking about something else. Maybe look for a new therapist who is understanding? Good luck anyway
I can relate to him avoiding help. I think a big reason ppl wish Dr K was their therapist is perhaps because of repeatedly bad experiences with unsuitable therapists. If, after seeing like 4 seperate ppl and the issue's still there, you start feeling like you must be 'broken'.
i think that is also like finding a compatible partner (as he said is about the fit and not so much the studies a therapist can have). I went through 6 other therapists before finding my current therapist, but i wouldn't know what i was looking for if it wasn't for them. I have to say she has helped me a lot and i've talked about stuff I never talked about in therapy before. There's always hope
Yessss, why are they so bad at guiding their patients to what they need? With therapist it’s like they force feed you something you need instead of what you want, but with Dr.K he guides them to what they need very immediately. More progress happens in under an hour than months worth of effort at therapy.
This idea that we can consider our childhoods normal until someone else reacts hits home. I was telling a psychologist friend a childhood story, and she just stared and said, "it's amazing you're not more fucked up than you are." Really drove home the point.
just commenting to share a trick that helped me almost completely end my overthinking that I had since I remember myself. Whenever you realize you're overthinking, just focus on everything around you, focus on how your body feels, what your body position is. just consciously focus on everything that your senses give you. Everything I started overthinking, this helped me bring myself into the present instead of focusing on my thoughts. Eventually it becomes a habit and it gets easier and easier. might not work for everyone, but it certainly helped me a lot and I hope it could help some of you too
I would like to point out to Mr. K that he has helped me and my mindset about everyday life and my problems that I deal with... I'm very thankful that you are helping others and in doing so helping so many others along the way.
I like how Dr. K isn't afraid to poke fun at his patients when he feels that it is in good spirit, and that he is laughing with the person rather than at them. He's really good. I'm also amazed at how strong the interviewee was by doing that public! I'm shy about these things in private when I have no reason to be. GG!
"you're doing remarkably well given how much you handicapped youself"...like for real..this man is an esports world champion and has this going on in his head at all times? My God....
Okay hear me out… the anxiety adaptation could be a massive advantage in esports. The innate capacity to remember and avoid situations you’ve seen before could be useful in that specific situation.
I just want to say. Extremely brave of Chuck to come on and talk publicly. I have trouble getting to this 1 on 1 with my therapist sometimes. So honestly, just kudos for the bravery and authenticity. Edit: I had a stepdad for 4ish years who was exactly like Chuck's dad. I would fold all my laundry and clean the room to the best of an 8-12 year old's ability. I'd leave for the weekend and come back and my entire room would be turned upside down and he'd be waiting to scream at me and tell me to do it again. And this would happen for simply folding my shirts in a different way than I was taught by him, which wouldn't have been the way I was used to for the first 8 years of my life. I remember I had a couple friends over and we were wanting soda, which we weren't allowed to have in our rooms. So I went and got soda from the fridge, went outside and handed it to my friends through the window well. My stepdad came down and screamed at me ruthlessly in front of them and sent them home. They'd been there all of 30 minutes. And the hardest thing about it, is that it became so normalized that talking about it later on I would laugh or minimize it, but people would look at me with just sadness. Once I started unpacking it, I realized how absolutely destructive those years were and how it was essentially the turning point in my life. I'm 28 now and I'm still unpacking and working on rewiring my brain.
Fun story regarding walking on toes: My mother kept saying "Walk quietly, so you won't disturb the neighbors!" over and over all through my childhood, so walking like that has become normal to me. Nowadays when I walk up to her from behind and start talking, she gets startled and says "Don't sneak up on me like that!" You just can't win... lol
So I had a massive self love and confidence boost almost over night. Slowly I was working on just changing how I view things off of people and more to situations and a change in pronoun usage in my thought. Instead of “I messed up I did so bad” “This situation was messed up maybe I could have done better but how should we move forward from this.” This side was a slow build up but the self love and self confidence creeping up slowly suddenly hit. I’m happy now genuinely
"I'm actually afraid to get help, because what if it doesn't help? What if all this stuff that's supposed to help me doesn't help?" Omg Chuck. That resonated with me so much. I hope we can both be brave and take the risks we need to see if we can make things better. Best wishes.
dude thats SO DAMN RELATEABLEEE. wtffff. im literally the EXACT same way, how... when my brain notices im feeling good and not thinking about myself, my anxiety is just like "oh hi, hey, hello there, you are happy? what if you get anxious, hmm? what if you start thinking about me?"
I think a lot of people that struggle with intrusive thoughts like this, should really look more into OCD as a diagnosis. A lot of people don't really understand what it is, so they don't consider it. It's obviously not always the case of course, but if it could provide anyone with more answers, I do think it helps to at least raise awareness 🤗
Big thanks for sharing your panic attack story. My first one was around the same age, also just after smoking weed, and also included hallucinations and pleading for my life - so this was eerie (and difficult) to listen to. I've spent over two decades in treatment for various mental health conditions, but I've never had PTSD from a bad trip or psychosis suggested. This channel really is incredible.
Dr. K's ideas about the PTSD surrounding anxiety itself really got to me. I hope Charles can see how helpful his story is for people. He reframed things in very clear ways. I had a full on state of psychosis last year and the anxiety is unreal.
I had my first one about a year or two ago, I’ve been going through these phases where I obsess over things that are going on with my body to indigestion to other stuff and I’ll get stuck in these negative loops where all I can think about is the negative stuff in my body.
@@schemadoughboy1652 I’m sorry you are going through this. It gets better man. Try to understand that all these thoughts are just thoughts. Learn to control the controllables. Surrender to the uncontrollables. I’ve been where you are, and I can tell you from experience that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong and brave brother
I also had my first one after smoking weed, though before that, I smoked regularly and never had an issue, so I think that there was some other shit going on that manifested itself after smoking. It seemed to happen after trying LSD (wouldn't say it was bad per se, but extremely overwhelming) for me and I'd be curious if anyone else has had this sort of reaction. K, honestly I think that the panic attacks happened for a reason initially for me, then have continued when the original issue wasnt really an issue anymore precisely for the reason of avoiding having another. I've found ways over time to calm myself and would be curious to hear what each of you do in the situation where you feel that dread of an impending attack.
Man, serious kudos to this guy for articulating these feelings so well while actively feeling them. I haven't heard someone describe such a resonant experience in a very long time
Holy shit, the first 30 minutes of this where the guy was describing his childhood, felt like he was describing my own. For example the strict household as a kid, dad being gone for long periods while I was younger, parents getting divorced in the 8th grade, and experiencing my first panic attack around 16. Sometimes all it takes is to hear another's story to know that you're not alone. Thank you for making this for all of us.
Hot damn, this channel is an absolute goldmine of relatable content. First time I "partook" in the weed, I also had a panic attack, because nobody had told me about the shakes and I was VERY far past the point of my comfortable range of weed in my system. It was at a party and I literally had to lie down on the sofa away from all the other party people, because I was so far gone (and didn't want to look like someone ODing to them as well). I VERY vividly remember lying on that sofa, all my muscles spasming thinking "what if it doesn't stop? What if I have a heart attack? What if I die here?". Following experiences with weed I'd always sit there thinking "wait, do I look like I'm too high right now? Am I high enough? Do the others enjoy their time? Am I ruining it for them?" and get into a spiral that way as well. I took a good long break from weed and I think now I have it under control a lot more, having identified that it was "just" an anxiety attack and in my head at the time (also having read up a lot more about weed, and being way more consciencious about consumption). But that fear of the downwards spiral regarding drugs never left me. Assuming anyone reads this (probably not, but eh), I know that the reasonable solution to that would probably be to stay away from substances that make me feel that way, but I feel like that's definitely the wrong way to approach it for me. Especially because I really enjoy the times that I don't spiral and get to have the "good" effects only. Definitely very hard relate to what Dew was saying in the video though; that fear of panic attacks has never completely left me.
wow this is crazy... that stuff about his childhood and having "danger anticipation. . . as a survival adaptation. . .baked into" him really resonated with me holy crap..
these videos, really make me want to become a therapist. Watching people find themselves, brings me such joy and sense of "love". Thank you for the vid!
Omg i used to feel the same way about my anxiety and hearing him describe it just made me realize how far i've come. This channel in combination with seeing a therapist has really taught me what anxiety is and how i can deal with it. It's not gone at all but how i handle it and percieve it has changed so much.
This guy said so many things that I have experienced to such a precise degree. Chuck, if you read this, know that if you and I have such similar thoughts and backgrounds, many others have as well. I have fear of feeling bad again. It makes me feel bad again. Meditation is fantastic in teaching you to let those thoughts go. Let them be. You’re good. Notice the thoughts, let them be, don’t fight them and over time it’ll get easier. They will come back, but when you notice them realize that they weren’t there before and can go away again. It takes time to heal, but you’re healing.
I just remembered a traumatic childhood experience i have never thought of since i was a kid. i gotta talk to my therapist about it. this helps me understand a lot of my fears now.
Its incredible how similar my experience has been to yours, friend. The MJ induced psychotic episode, PTSD, flashback anxiety, feelings of depersonalization and derealization, panic attacks, suicidal ideation. It gets better I promise. Never give up, you will find the right doctor. It took 3 for me, and I owe my life to my mother and that doctor. They gave me my life back. I wouldn't be here without them.
More details pls 😅 we need to know what your dr and your mom did go help you bcs there are so many suffering from this who have no idea what good help looks like.
Don't be afraid to reach out. Speak to those close to you and share your experiences, be as honest as you can be. No matter how anxious or uncertain my mother was, she was reassuring that things would improve and we would get the right treatment. She was empathetic to my experiences even though she didn't know or understand what it was I was experiencing and she relentlessly pursued medical professionals to help me. Treatment started with an antipsychotic (Seroquel) to manage a potential underlying psychosis, for which it didn't help, as I was not psychotic (even though i thought I was). Then a benzodiazepine (Clonazepam) to mitigate the panic attacks. In the end the end I was placed on a mood stabilizer/SSRI (Fluoxetine) and that helped a ton. Then through exposure therapy, CBT, the occasional clonazepam, and time to practice regaining control over mind and body, I got better. After three years I came off all medications and have not had a panic attack since.
Hang in there, man. My first panic attack was at 15, I quickly developed derealization and clinical OCD, had severe panic attacks 1-3x a day for nearly a year. I made it out. You’re not hopeless.
I've lived a very similar life and it's shocking how much his story parallels mine. While listening I was able to connect the dots. Always trying to be anywhere else, friends, Family or out side without even thinking about it. Nothing I did was up to standards or could vary from what they wanted so I felt discouraged from exploring anything.... thank you for sharing
Your take on agoraphobia is really worth noting. Thank you for having an open discussion regarding anxiety and its possible manifestations. Much props to cdew for agreeing to have an open discussion. I have no idea about the gaming world, and I am unfamiliar with your body of work. I sincerely hope you are doing well.
Right? That poor guy. He's been brainwashed and conditioned to believe his abusive father is "a little crazy" and just laughed it off. That hit home as someone who grew up with a narcissistic abusive father (and dealing with the resulting CPTSD) no wonder he has panic attacks and a lot of other issues. I would have gone no contact with him based on what he told us and when he said his dad comes over to see his kids my heart sank. Hopefully he gets the help he deserves and good on Dr K to strongly recommend him to see a psychiatrist or trauma therapist to recover from his past.
So glad for Chuck that he was able to open up and start to get help for this problem. Really feel for him growing up in such a seemingly abusive atmosphere. This ep is much more than about overthinking!
Another great meeting. Well worth staying for the entire 3 hours ( approximate ) > I am beginning to see why I never made any progress in my talk - therapy sessions. These were only 40 minutes long. No time to get past the surface, no time to go in deep, no time for counter interactions & follow through. > Forty minute sessions are only going to gloss the surface.. Quite frustrating actually… No time for feedback or insights . Or maybe my therapists were just too tired to engage w. me.
Thank you both. These sessions are so important on so many levels. Thank you, Cdew , for your vulnerability. It really opens windows into my own life 🙏
I'm not a gamer but I love your videos! I have watched a few of them now and this one really resonated with me because I had a strict father growing up too and also have lived with anxiety and depression since i was a teenager, when my dad really started to get more strict with me. I have been to therapy 3 different times and I feel like I got more from this video than I did from all that therapy combined! I can relate to so much of what Chuck said and goes through every day. Just wanted to say thanks, and I will be watching a lot more of your videos, they really help me get through the day!
I can relate soooo much! Thank you, Chuck for being so brave and speaking about this. Thank you Dr. K. for your insight and compassion for both Chuck and this topic.
I didn't know how much I needed to hear this until I heard it. Like I have been dealing with anxiety and depression since my mother died back in May this year and some of the things involved and how me being there through the whole thing and being unable to help the situation regardless has had me in this endless loop for almost two months of thinking what could I have done in this situation or this one. So on and so forth. I have been trying to get in touch with my shrink because it has affected my ability to sleep and eat. It's gotten somewhat better but it's not...great.
I feel you. I had a panick attack at the age of 16, a huge one. I tought i was going to die, litteraly. I suffered from depersonnalisation/derealisation after it (life seems unreal and you feel detached from yourself). I got out of it. You are on the right track my man, keep up the good work.
@@patricklapinski1526 Don't let up on breaking from it. I've been feeling really good last two days because I just keep telling myself who the f*ck cares when it comes back, and then I'm good until I remind myself again. Rinse repeat. You got this.
Hey there! I am not a fan of the ''act as if it doesnt exist and it will go away'' because avoiding the problem is not the solution to solve it. Eventually it will come back. Here is what worked for me : DP/Dr is very reactive to anxiety, so you gotta heal your anxiety if u wanna have chance to get out of it. I also did trauma integration, which involved talking about the relationship with my parents and other stuff to a therapist. Treat yourself with respect, build yourself a strong identity , get to the root cause of anxiety and maintain a healty lifestyle(good relationships, purpose, exercice, minfulness, nutrition..etc). The keys to your healing is the effort you will put in to reorient your life and a good therapist who understands what DP/DR is. I wish you the best guys!
It's funny how every one of us can rationally understand that anxiety is there to help us, but when it happens and it actually works as intended, we are mad about it!
Can you please do an interview with someone on autistic masking? I’m resisting restarting treatment because of 10+ years of various therapists, I think I was masking & couldn’t easily access true emotions. A female person would be a bonus! Thank you ! ❤
Had some good therapists over the years but recently found the best of the lot. How is she the best? She had the same issues in life that I did: born into a cult; psychological, physical, sexual, spiritual abuse; ADHD; High functioning Autism with high intellect; done with religion but very "spiritual." You do what works for you, but for me, the Autism mask never came down till I met this therapist. First time in my life I felt seen and safe. Just my humble opinion, but I'd grill the hell out of any therapist and make sure they've HAD THE EXPERIENCES, not just read about them.
Wow. The linkin park reference floored me. I was already relating strongly to Chuck, I feel like my father was the low level version of his "The sound of music" type father, lol. But I deal with anxiety over being judged by others all day, and just recently re-discovered linkin park and noticed that THIS is the main theme of their music. Internalized judgements from others. The face inside that's right beneath the skin. It watches everything. Like Santa. Damn.
This was amazing. Thanks so much Dr.K I grew up in an abusive household(physically and emotionally)is now in my late twenties that I can see how much it affected me.
I've been a fan of your work for almost a year now but this one reaaally hit the spot for me. The similarity between Chuck's and mine situation is unbelivable. I was gonna wait with going to therapy until after I finished uni but now I feel like I might just try to get into it now. Thanks for everything Dr. K, you're doing so much amazing work for the people of internet I don't think we can ever pay you back. Shit's legendary man
I experienced a customer having a panic attack while at work. She was pacing back and forth and breathing rapidly I could honestly feel the panic she was going through. I had to take her somewhere private away from the stares, sat her down, and did some deep breathing exercises with her to relax her breathing.
I've been waiting for a session just like this. I share alot of the same anxiety issues as cdew and this is tearing me apart on the inside. Its been a struggle to try and talk to someone about these issues and I break down every time I try. Its just nice to see someone share a lot of the same struggles
Few things are as controversial as (over-)thinking... most people don't even realize that they cannot stop and create an identity around thinking all the time
Its easy to fall into a trap in times like this where you're so isolated you sort of create a world in your head and simulate yourself in you imagination, which makes you feel secure, but once you actually go outside that world falls apart and the anxiety comes back
I feel like this why a lot of the smartest people throughout history struggled with depression anxiety and suicide. Some people that smarter people are privy to some kind of knowledge that makes them not enjoy life. But really I just think that these kind of thinkers, these people who are in their head all day are prone to overthinking and depression and anxiety.
Got this in my Recommended randomly. I don't even have anxiety, but I love the constant likening to WoW situations. I like comparing gameplay situations with RL in my own problem solving and it works surprisingly well most of the time.
THANK YOU! You just gave me a new perspective. I believe I have anxiety but I just started thinking about the other perspective. And now I'm thinking how I never thought of this before :D Dr. K, Thank you for being you. Also thank you cdew for participating and sharing your experiences
Everyone is talking about getting stoned but I'm just anxious still. People say to be future-oriented but that's my default self, I only think about the future and can't enjoy something now. If I were to take a class I see it as 200 hours of work rather than just an hour every weekday. It's hard trying new things, sometimes it's easy if I don't overthink but when I do I just think about how people are better at this then me. Which is stupid because if I just practice I'll get better or to that point but my brain won't shut up. It's like imposter syndrome but it gets in the way of daily life like cooking breakfast
@@namowadriver Hey I just want to say that your comments helped me, I just begun a very big depression and i struggle immensely with living in the present instead of the future.
Just wanna thank this channel. Because seeking out this stuff on my own would be exhausting and scary, but seeing a professional talking about mental health and offering explanations is very much "therapeutic". Even if no one's experience matches my own, core concepts can be common since we're all human, and it can bring clarity and offer food for thought.
When he talked about the first "Panic Attack" I literally had the same thought that Dr.K brings up. That didn't sound like a panic attack, but more like an ego death (or bad trip as some will say). The way he described it was almost exactly what I went through when unknowingly given 25i. Makes it seem like maybe he was given something other than weed but not impossible to have bad experience just from weed.
As soon as he described his hallucinations, I knew it was a bad trip. I had a similar thing when I was on holiday in Jamaica, except I was at a cocktail party surrounded by people in suits laughing at jokes I was telling. It looked completely real and felt like half an hour had passed, when in reality it had only been about 30 seconds.
Dudes dad gave him anxiety ptsd complex, gets panic attack and it gets trippy because weed anxiety attacks are nuts and thought loopy as hell and very real feeling. Gets ptsd from trippy anxiety attack, makes anxiety not only worse, but a thought loop in and of itself. Rough.
I’ve had panic attacks since I was probably around age seven. Long story short my childhood had been traumatic way before then on multiple occasions. But growing up I never understood what they were and when I was little they were not nearly as severe as when I got older. So I assumed that the panic attacks was just a normal amount of fear that everyone experienced…But when I was 17 I finally had one so severe that it lasted for two hours, and I then started to have an auditory hallucination. Luckily I was left alone at the time. A few years went by and I never mentioned the incident to anyone because I felt like I had lost control to the point that I could go insane. I thought that if I just prioritized not getting upset that it wouldn’t happen again… Spoiler alert that didn’t work lol. A year after that had happened the feelings I had gotten before the huge panic attack started to emerge throughout the day, and no matter what I did to calm down it only felt like I was delaying the inevitable…I still went to work, but straight after my shift ended the panic attack finally set in and I ended up canceling the ride I had home because I didn’t want my friend or anyone else to see me in case I “lost it” again…An hour after it passed my father drove me home. Only after another year did I finally come out about what had happened to me when I was 17, so at that point it had been two years…Two years of putting stressful things off in the hopes of not having to experience anything like that again, but failing and still going through the attacks. My parents helped me find professional help and it was determined that since years had passed since the auditory hallucination that I had experienced a temporary psychotic break, rather then it being due to a mental illness(we also got a second opinion and they were in agreement)….Point to this I guess is although I never developed a fear of my panic attacks to the point that I couldn’t leave the house, I definitely experienced for a few years being so afraid of them that I would run away mentally or physically to keep myself and others from them…It was exhausting and a bit dangerous, but honestly since I didn’t understand what had happened and what was continuing to happen I can’t really blame myself for reacting the way that I did. BTW doing a lot better lol! I’ve gotten proper treatment through medication, therapy, and improving my life situations. It has been quite a few months since I’ve last had a panic attack(I used to have them once a month or less for a while) and I still haven’t experienced any other hallucinations since the one incident six years ago
When he was protecting his dad, he mentioned his Grandpa was the nicest guy ever. Maybe his Grandpa was too nice and his dad felt like he could have used more structure in his childhood, so Chuck's dad went overboard with the structure.
1:10:00 - Exactly! You’re not alone man, that’s how my anxiety manifests too. Trying to get back to “peace of mind” and the ability to just think about random stuff. Just wanting your mental real estate back!
damn, as a kid a busted both my wrists once, broke both my arms twice, had to have surgery for left arm twice (titanium plaque and pins) and broke my clavicle and have plaque and pins in it too, i enjoyed my childhood lol but i guess stayed too much in hospitals, thank god i didnt get any ptsd from that, i always have been very thin.
What an amazing video HealthyGamerGG, the meditation at the end was really lovely. Thanks for this incredible video and thank you Dew for being so brave and sharing your vulnerability. This is so helpful to those that go through similar difficulties, thank you!!
That feeling of “everything feels like its not real” i have felt that during my panic attacks. Kinda like if you are experiencing yourself from outside of yourself.
44:50 at this segment I remembered an incident of my life which totally express how one never know what experience they are deprived of until they see someone else experiencing that. I recalled once at my school, one of my classmate calming her father down by hugging him, after an heated argument with the principal or something. And I remember just watching her thinking how this can never be me at her place. I couldn't imagine doing anything except panicking or freezing in fear watching my father yelling like that. And that was the first time I realized how different other people life was from me.
Wow! As I listen to this and we're about 40 minutes in, I almost hear echos of my dad. I couldn't have snacks between meals, I had to finish all my food, once we had liver and onions and I must've sat for 2 hours dumping ketchup on it to make it better (I don't like ketchup much to this day LOL), he had very similar "military mentality" as I call it... My mother had anxiety but didn't even realize it til this year (she's 73). I once told her a few years ago "You're the reason I have anxiety!", to which she replied "Bullshit!" I'm glad someone finally said, though not to me, "You grew up in a really fucked up house".
ive been watching cdew for years now,and never even knew. it turns out his issues pretty much mirrors mine,so its like i got my own little session with Dr K along with Cdew's. Thank you so much for opening up about all this Chuck,and thank you doctor for wonderful session.
Grew up watching CDew through high school. Right around when my anxiety became an issue, and so hearing that he's had a lot of the same issues has been helpful.
Wow we had such a similar childhood, mine was a tad bit freer though. I'm still trying to feel comfortable around the fam that I lived with so this gives me hope.
I’ve never watched anything like this or had any professional counseling, this was very eye opening both to hear the guests experiences and conclusions about his tendencies and where the host poked and prodded fueling the dialogue. I will definitely be along to hear more
Damn man, 4:07 "I'm afraid to have anxiety." How common is THIS for men, especially these days? Good for you, Chuck for having the will to talk openly about this.
Holy shit that trial he's talking about is one of the first memories I have as a kid. It was a nightmare, a really vivid one. My dreams had been building up towards it somehow, and that nightmare scared me so much it still sticks with me. Like my soul had been judged and doomed in that moment. To this day I SOMEHOW feel like at the early age of like 4, I'd done something so bad it forfeit my soul already. I think I was feeling judgment from my dad, now that I think back to it... But... Idk... What he describes sounds so vague but it resonates exactly with what I went through like 25 years ago... Astonishing, these interviews. I've never related to somebody else on this before.
quarantine,hit us all,hope we stay strong.wonderful to see you HealthyGamerGG talking with amazing so kind wow champ cdew one of my favor youtubers!!great!!
Honestly, when they got to talking about the panic attacks from weed, I felt that, even though I've never taken drugs or weed in my life. Like for a good few months, every single day around the time I was 15, if I stared off absentmindedly, I'd see things that weren't there or I'd feel like my consciousness was transported somewhere full of numbers. In all those cases, this awful anxiety would hit me until I snapped out of it. Every time I went to bed as well, my brain would go into a mode of hyper-activity for hours at a time, and my imagination would just go absolutely insane. Those were not happy times, and while I've not had anything that bad since, I still sometimes feel a panic or anxiety attack trying to sneak up on me. I've told a few people about it, but not any therapists since I've always been short on money, plus my parents are busy either working or sleeping. I'm legally an adult now, but things like driving terrify me, plus I wouldn't (still don't) have the money to pay for a car on a monthly basis for gas or insurance.
Shout out to Chuck for allowing a private session to be viewed by the public. That's a super strong attribute. Cool to see how I can get the chance to relate and differ.
Damn man. One thing to put restrictions on playing video games but to feel scared and having to sneak food so you don't go to bed hungry is completely different. I don't know how you can't not have a bad impression on your dad on that alone. How can you let your child go to sleep hungry especially if you have the food. It's different if they're in a tough situation and can't afford it but they did have it.
In my experience and it seems to be the case with Cdew since he stated he's religious, they're raised to respect elders through all that shit. I've never understood it, I can acknowledge that my parents paid for my shit and financially support me, but I can also blame them for any negative side effects their bad parenting may have caused me. Holding them accountable is one thing you might not be able to do, but as far as rationalizing your negative mental health, call a spade, a spade.
I know right. Sometimes i remember some pretty messed up thing my parents did to me and then they say "that never happened, stop lying" and then i bring up some other things and they just stop talking about it and change subject. Funny how they seem to forget pretty easily about their mistakes but always remember ours.
No actually, it's not. The trick is that in order to keep the denial shield up, parents have the amazing skill to actually forget. Dr K has said in other videos "If you want to see the strongest denial, parents are where to go. They'll deny to the bitter end because if they admitted to hurting their children, then they'd go 'Oh no, that means I don't love them!' " It's just the human brain showing its tricks in the worst of ways. Actual gaslighting would be to convince you, even though you know the truth, that you're wrong and it happened differently, or trying to change your understanding of it even if it means crushing your feelings under their foot.
@@davidwing8879 I'm not aware of the word for it, but gaslighting is usually done consciously or not, with the purpose of hiding their own faults, by altering your view of things. This is denial fueled erasure of uncomfortable memories so I don't think it's the same thing at all, but I don't think anyone would be angry if you called it that. There's actually an old Latin word that describes the thing perfectly, but it's not used in this context usually, it's called obscurantism in English, but in general, obscurantism is a practice that obscures something by doing something specific, so it fits. Emotional obscurantism? Memory purge? Stretegic memory crash? Emotional sycophanting? EDIT: Missing words
This video got into my recommended and YT algorithm sometimes makes me a bit afraid. Anyways, the really interesting stuff to me is how Chuck is on medication for a few years but feels like if he gets psychotherapy it makes him crazy, while I've been on psychotherapy for years but the idea of being medicated is what makes me feels like I'm definitely crazy. (I've been in medication before and the freaking panapea had me getting prescriptions again)
I’ve experienced my first panic attack at 23 and it changed my whole perspective on psychological issues with other people but I tried to burry it until I was 30. I now want to try psycho therapy.
That part about your description of agoraphobia: I can relate in a sense but not panic attack, I’m afraid of the social battery drain. Once that battery is gone I need to go home immediately or I’ll become asocial and not very nice (like when I first wake up ) and I don’t want people to experience that. That’s why I love living big cities because it’s easy to go home when I want to. Also why I hate going to the countryside because I’m stuck there and can’t go home when I want or it’s very far. Not to mention I sorta get anxious in wide open spaces of nothingness bexuase it feels like being a deer in an open meadow during hunting season. I’m not afraid of leaving my house but I’ll never leave my house without knowing I have an easy way home. Thus there’s no better place for me to live than a huge city where it’s never wide open empty spaces and it’s easy to go home when I want. I also can get lost in the crowd more easy so I can be as flashy as I am and not standout/singled out by people hard stares People often get it wrong. I don’t wear flashy clothes to stand out. I don’t like standing out. But I wear flashy clothes because that’s simply just me and who I am. I refuse to change that unless you pay me enough to do it temporarily for part of the day. So I need to be somewhere where I can be who I am and not stick out.
Dude, having anxiety caused by the fear of having a panic attack is such a fucked up loop
yethe worst fear is fear of the fear
I had the same experience too after i stopped smoking, it lasted for about 2 years, but with meditation it did get better
Yea I experienced this quite recently. Things used to be hard and then they went well...so I was anxious about getting panic attacks and messing everything up. What helped me was to have confidence in myself that I have built resilience and I now have the coping mechanisms to deal with such a situation (should it occur). If for some reason the panic attack is beyond my control, I have the confidence that I can ask for help (since I did it before in such a situation).
Yeah i had that in 2018 its horrible
I am dealing with this right now. but the bath water analogy is saving me. when it happens i just imagine a water surface that was caused to move, and what i need to do is to get the water to be calm again. only one way to do that. Just stare at it, and make sure I am not stressing it more. Works every time for now :) hope it keeps working.
“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
― Mark Twain this always helped me a lot
I "catastrophize" a lot, which is a term for one of many cognitive distortions. Basically, worrying about extreme negative consequences. The reality of it is basically summed up in that Twain quote, i.e., most of my catastrophizing fears never end up as reality, and I realize that I was overthinking.
Good practice for me is to say, "okay, what if this thing actually happens, then what do I do?" Often I realize, "okay, if it did happen, then it wouldn't actually be the end of the world. I would deal with it if I had to." But more likely, I realize, "eh, this is actually really unlikely. Plus, I didn't even consider the GOOD things that could result, which have at LEAST as much likelihood of occurring."
It's very common to worry or catastrophize. The key is to recognize it and address it with more productive tools. It's like a pipe leak. You've just gotta approach it with your toolbag, whip out the wrench, and then tighten the bolts, or patch up the hole. This is a good mindset to approaching any sort of cognitive distortion. And follow-up questions are a good tool to use against them, and to bring things back to reality.
Also, I really liked what Dr. K said here in the interview, which was essentially, "you've gotta vent. You have anxiety ricocheting around in your mind, and it's like bottled methane. You've got to uncork it." The tips for journaling, talking to a friend, or therapy are crucially effective tools. And they can help with what I mentioned in regard to bringing things back to reality. When I journal regularly, then such follow-up questions to my cognitive distortions come pretty naturally. E.g., I'll write down my worry, or my catastrophizing, and then it's there on the page, written out, and I'm like, "okay, but... is this it? Is this really so bad? Will I truly be unable to address this if it happens? Is this even likely? What are the good things that could happen instead?" And then I feel better when I address those follow-ups and realize that I was likely just blowing things out of proportion.
ACSHULKY it’s “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." It has the same sentiment but Mark Twain puts it better by flipping the meaning
This Mark Twain This Always Helped Me A Lot guy seems pretty insightful
My favourite Mark Twain quote is... I try never to let School get in the way of my education... oil boy is there a lot to unpack there and then gauge to our perception of reality LOL that and the fact that the source of all human generated misery on the planet stems directly from Monopoly over the economy and monetary system, hence the misery index. Although the misery index is actually calculated by taking the unemployment rate and rate of inflation these two factors are indeed deeply embedded in the root cause of Monopoly over economy and monetary unit. Now there's a shitload to unpack there. Terrifying to realize that what we thought reality to be was completely false, or at least built upon false presumptions of Truth, yet on a lighter note without any fear that can't actually be any opportunity to muster up courage. Good luck folks
"The mind functions the best way it knows how to. And when we stop assuming that the mind is broken is when we truly get power over it."
It's an interesting pattern I've seen across several topics of mental health, sometimes the best way to regain control is to let go. Accepting that you aren't completely in control is the first step in being able to use what you do have in control to improve and help yourself. It's a paradoxical thought, but it's been borne out time and time again.
For example, those who partake in hallucinogenic trips often state that the best way to deal with bad trips is to "let go" and to submit to the trip, which often helps break one out of the cycle of anxiety. Two of my friends with depression have stated a strong reticence towards some treatments and each fear is motivated by a feeling of a loss of control. Each friend has a different level of fear, one has a fear of novel forms of treatment (psilocybin and ketamine) while the other fears even conventional treatments like SSRIs.
Very interesting how these topics are interrelated somehow...
Shit kills me, I hate when people say things along the line of "well I shouldnt feel this bad, so many others have it worse" like yeah thats true, but your struggles and the things youre dealing with are still valid and important. it seems like a way to discredit their own emotions
Yep. Imagine saying "I shouldn't feel this happy, so many others have it much better". Ridiculous.
@@0Josipa0 I wouldn't say ridiculous. I would say its his own way of coping. The mind is wild. Everyone has issues they go through, unfortunately.
I feel like sometimes, when hearing about others' suffering, people might get overwhelmed because of the amount of suffering in the world, and how much they themselves might be going through. So they tell someone something like this that basically amounts to "well too bad" or "get over it" so they can rationalize dismissing this phenomenon as not real suffering and feeling less overwhelmed from this sort of "care burnout."
Other times, they have some kind of notion of coping that simplistically applies a "mind over matter" sort of thinking where they think the person just isn't being "positive enough" and needs to try harder to will their suffering out of existence or will happiness into their existence.
- - -
However, I agree that just being dismissive like this doesn't help anyone. Just because someone else has it worse, that doesn't mean that the first person has nothing going on or that their issue(s)/problem(s) aren't serious.
I believe that we don't have to treat compassion and empathy like scarce resources or commodities distributed in some sort of zero-sum interaction where there is only so much interpersonal care to go around and we all have to claw at each other to get anyone to bother helping us with our problems. Unfortunately, plenty of people seem to operate this way, and it seems to result in the development in what I personally call "Bucket Crab" Syndrome. The world doesn't need more people going like "I suffered, so you have to suffer too" (because "that's fair" as they confuse the relative increase of their happiness with the relative comparison between their happiness and someone else's after someone else's happiness decreases).
A wise person once said "somene who drowns in 3 inches deep water is just as dead as the one that drowned 20 feet underwater"
I'm very frustrated that I have to do say that in order for my parents to even consider the possibility that I'm not pretending to have mental problems. I constantly have to convince them I'm not doing it for drama, and it's so annoying
Dew: "I talk to myself all the time. I hope that doesn't make me crazy."
Dr: "No, it makes you sane."
That hit me right there.
there's talking to yourself and there's talking to yourself, it's peddled as a sign of intelligence, but when it first occured to me that other people might do this too (i have imaginary conversations all the time) i polled my friends and workmates and it's a thing a lot of people do, to me it is "rehearsing the future" like if you have a job interview it's a way of working out a strategy, imagining what questions you might be asked and working out answers, my girlfriend is schizophrenic, so she has voices problems, but mostly paranoia, so i rehearse conversations with her because any single wrong word might trigger a psychotic episode, bad day all round, so i spend 90% of my day talking to her but in my head, censoring certain words or ways of phrasing things. but talking to myself is also "light relief", i can laugh at myself and pat myself on the back and be quite self-sufficient.
@@HarryNicNicholas you sound like a really caring boyfriend, although I can’t help but wonder if there’s a way you and your girlfriend could talk through what you spend so much of your time doing, or see a counselor about it, to take some of the burden off you. That sounds exhausting, and a small part of me says i sounds unsustainable, although that’s no slight against you mate.
There is also the:
"Am I crazy if I talk to myself?"
"No, only if you hear a voice talking back"
I'll also add this quote from the classic novel "The old mand and the sea":
“If the others heard me talking out loud they would think that I am crazy. But since I am not, I do not care.”
is that true tho? i thought I was a sociopath
lol. it's taken five years to get her to admit to someone else, me, that there is something not right in the first place, it's taken five years to even be able to talk about her mental health issues, i have no idea what her diagnosis might be other than her father told me he is schizophrenic. she actually acts like she has everything except depression, PTSD, autism, bi-polar. i've had therapy myself in the past, and when i found out how "bad" she was i started getting counselling, but getting her to any kind of therapy seems impossible, her paranoia tells her doctors are bad. and it *is* unsustainable, if she was getting help then there isn't anything i wouldn't do for her, but she isn't and i'm nearly 70, she's wasted five years i can't afford to lose so i have to eject her from my life, i'm an artist and musician, i have better things to do than babysit.
HE WALKS ON HIS TOES!! Think about that for a second, I do this too and have since i was about 13. The reason I started doing it was to sneak around the house in anticipation that if i was caught walking around the house I would get in trouble. We had hard wood floors and it got so bad that, by the age of 16 I could walk the entire house without making a single creak from the floor. I still to this day (24) walk on my toes in my own house, I still shut door with both hands, one on the handle and one on the door frame so that there is absolutely no noise when closing my door, I do the same thing for the microwave and the fridge as well. I wish you could have had him expand on why he walks on his toes because I feel like we have the exact same reason.
Bruh saaaaame. Gotta keep it sneaky.
I’m glad I’m not the only one with sneak 100.
I do that too and people have called me a ninja because I have no presence and will spook people occasionally.
Mine personally comes from growing up with an abusive mother. My psyche subconsciously discovered that being silent and reducing my presence avoided conflict because my abuser didn't have a chance to think about me.
Well. This is interesting. Never realized I did the tip toe thing until reading this, in the kitchen, on the train, in class, at work. Wow. All the time. Came from sneaking down stairs at night in high school because I wasn't allowed to use the internet so I would "tip toe" down 13 stairs right next to my parents room. Super strict parents. Yet during that time I was also being abused in that same "strict house" and trying to be silent and invisible. Now I realize the narrative because I have CRPS in my right foot. I can't do it anymore. I can't even touch my big toe on it. You only miss something once it's gone.
real g's move in silence like lasagna
His childhood literally sounds like basic training for the Air Force. We had a set amount of time to eat which usually meant we were scarfing food down as fast as possible or just didn't get to finish, we weren't allowed to bring any food back to our room, etc. Constantly getting yelled at and if our beds weren't perfect we didn't leave until they were. Yeah, 2 months of that shit was stressful. Can't imagine growing up that way.
Wow this is all makes sense now
what the hell dude this is crazy
Its terrible to grow up that way. Then add in phsyical abuse + mental abuse from your parents every other day. It affects you in so bad ways going into adulthood
my stepdad explicitly called himself the drill sergeant, and would punish us for forgetting to take out the trash or w/e by screaming at us and having us do pushups until we couldnt anymore. he also LOVED making me stand in the corner the room, face the wall and T pose for an hour while he watches tv and made fun of me (or until mom came home)
The military is designed to break you down and turn you into a machine that acts how they need you to. It's a very a mentally and physically abusive process that leads to countless problems that follow soldiers for the rest of their lives.
That part about moments of your life not seeming real, fuck man, never felt depersonalization, but sometimes I feel like I'm acting as an npc, it's like I'm not interacting properly with the world, somewhat like I'm living a low-resolution version of my own life.
that sounds like depersonalisation, or dissociation at least
@@Em-gj2sg I think I'm suffering some kind of dissociation and I'm not sure what to do. Therapists don't understand and it can feel hopeless.
@@rickstarz I just want to tell you that you aren't going crazy, you just have anxiety and you're gonna be ok. I've gone through really bad dissociation before so I know what it's like. The first thing to know is that dissociation is caused by anxiety and when you're anxious about dissociating, that makes you dissociate more. Try to stop caring about whether you dissociate or not and trust that you will be ok. One thing that helped me was noticing when I had thoughts that made me dissociate and then distracting myself by doing breathing techniques and then thinking about something else. Maybe look for a new therapist who is understanding? Good luck anyway
@@Em-gj2sg Thank you for saying that, it's reassuring
@@Em-gj2sg ugh I love you. I needed to read this.
Dr K always dropping heat when you need it the most. He's a reverse avatar
he's the prototype iron man suit with the flamethrowers
Ratava?
"...and when the world needed his guidance most, he made a youtube video on that exact topic"
I'm gonna try to listen to this at work tonight. I need to get out of my head but like....its not possible. Im to autistic to figure it out.
Straight facts
I can relate to him avoiding help. I think a big reason ppl wish Dr K was their therapist is perhaps because of repeatedly bad experiences with unsuitable therapists. If, after seeing like 4 seperate ppl and the issue's still there, you start feeling like you must be 'broken'.
i think that is also like finding a compatible partner (as he said is about the fit and not so much the studies a therapist can have). I went through 6 other therapists before finding my current therapist, but i wouldn't know what i was looking for if it wasn't for them. I have to say she has helped me a lot and i've talked about stuff I never talked about in therapy before. There's always hope
@@dianalondono5599 That's wonderful to hear - thanks for sharing :)
4? Thats rookie numbers
Yessss, why are they so bad at guiding their patients to what they need? With therapist it’s like they force feed you something you need instead of what you want, but with Dr.K he guides them to what they need very immediately. More progress happens in under an hour than months worth of effort at therapy.
Just thinking about charles's father makes me anxious, all the rules and the OCD. holy shit no wonder he has anxiety.
I literally cried, i relate so much to his story. Parents can fuck up our mental health on childhood and teenage years
This idea that we can consider our childhoods normal until someone else reacts hits home. I was telling a psychologist friend a childhood story, and she just stared and said, "it's amazing you're not more fucked up than you are." Really drove home the point.
just commenting to share a trick that helped me almost completely end my overthinking that I had since I remember myself.
Whenever you realize you're overthinking, just focus on everything around you, focus on how your body feels, what your body position is. just consciously focus on everything that your senses give you.
Everything I started overthinking, this helped me bring myself into the present instead of focusing on my thoughts. Eventually it becomes a habit and it gets easier and easier.
might not work for everyone, but it certainly helped me a lot and I hope it could help some of you too
I would like to point out to Mr. K that he has helped me and my mindset about everyday life and my problems that I deal with... I'm very thankful that you are helping others and in doing so helping so many others along the way.
Dr*
Yeah man, AOE healing!
Seriously it gives me peace of mind just knowing that there is someone out there who is truly trying to help others in such a caring way.
If you don't mind me asking what were the pieces of advice and in what way they helped you in your everyday life? If don't want to answer it's ok!
@@AntonAleksankin his videos help me recognize what some of the answers I'm searching for are....
I like how Dr. K isn't afraid to poke fun at his patients when he feels that it is in good spirit, and that he is laughing with the person rather than at them. He's really good. I'm also amazed at how strong the interviewee was by doing that public! I'm shy about these things in private when I have no reason to be. GG!
I guess he has experience being a streamer tbh. I wouldn't stream either, so I respect that to begin with.
"you're doing remarkably well given how much you handicapped youself"...like for real..this man is an esports world champion and has this going on in his head at all times? My God....
Okay hear me out… the anxiety adaptation could be a massive advantage in esports. The innate capacity to remember and avoid situations you’ve seen before could be useful in that specific situation.
I find this session really beneficial...part of me feel like I'm having a therapy session while watching it.
Incredible to Dr K and Mr Chuck
I just want to say. Extremely brave of Chuck to come on and talk publicly. I have trouble getting to this 1 on 1 with my therapist sometimes. So honestly, just kudos for the bravery and authenticity.
Edit: I had a stepdad for 4ish years who was exactly like Chuck's dad. I would fold all my laundry and clean the room to the best of an 8-12 year old's ability. I'd leave for the weekend and come back and my entire room would be turned upside down and he'd be waiting to scream at me and tell me to do it again. And this would happen for simply folding my shirts in a different way than I was taught by him, which wouldn't have been the way I was used to for the first 8 years of my life. I remember I had a couple friends over and we were wanting soda, which we weren't allowed to have in our rooms. So I went and got soda from the fridge, went outside and handed it to my friends through the window well. My stepdad came down and screamed at me ruthlessly in front of them and sent them home. They'd been there all of 30 minutes. And the hardest thing about it, is that it became so normalized that talking about it later on I would laugh or minimize it, but people would look at me with just sadness. Once I started unpacking it, I realized how absolutely destructive those years were and how it was essentially the turning point in my life. I'm 28 now and I'm still unpacking and working on rewiring my brain.
Fun story regarding walking on toes:
My mother kept saying "Walk quietly, so you won't disturb the neighbors!" over and over all through my childhood, so walking like that has become normal to me. Nowadays when I walk up to her from behind and start talking, she gets startled and says "Don't sneak up on me like that!"
You just can't win... lol
Ur neighbours have super hearing tf
@@account7117 Downstairs neighbours. It is audible when kids run or someone has heavy steps above you.
So I had a massive self love and confidence boost almost over night. Slowly I was working on just changing how I view things off of people and more to situations and a change in pronoun usage in my thought. Instead of “I messed up I did so bad”
“This situation was messed up maybe I could have done better but how should we move forward from this.” This side was a slow build up but the self love and self confidence creeping up slowly suddenly hit. I’m happy now genuinely
"I'm actually afraid to get help, because what if it doesn't help? What if all this stuff that's supposed to help me doesn't help?"
Omg Chuck. That resonated with me so much. I hope we can both be brave and take the risks we need to see if we can make things better. Best wishes.
I love Dr.K's Shikamaru moments. Stops to think for a minute and comes back with the knowledge.
calling it a "Shikamaru moment" made my day 10/10 lmfao
dude thats SO DAMN RELATEABLEEE. wtffff. im literally the EXACT same way, how... when my brain notices im feeling good and not thinking about myself, my anxiety is just like "oh hi, hey, hello there, you are happy? what if you get anxious, hmm? what if you start thinking about me?"
I think a lot of people that struggle with intrusive thoughts like this, should really look more into OCD as a diagnosis. A lot of people don't really understand what it is, so they don't consider it. It's obviously not always the case of course, but if it could provide anyone with more answers, I do think it helps to at least raise awareness 🤗
Big thanks for sharing your panic attack story. My first one was around the same age, also just after smoking weed, and also included hallucinations and pleading for my life - so this was eerie (and difficult) to listen to. I've spent over two decades in treatment for various mental health conditions, but I've never had PTSD from a bad trip or psychosis suggested. This channel really is incredible.
Dr. K's ideas about the PTSD surrounding anxiety itself really got to me. I hope Charles can see how helpful his story is for people. He reframed things in very clear ways. I had a full on state of psychosis last year and the anxiety is unreal.
I had my first one about a year or two ago, I’ve been going through these phases where I obsess over things that are going on with my body to indigestion to other stuff and I’ll get stuck in these negative loops where all I can think about is the negative stuff in my body.
@@schemadoughboy1652 I’m sorry you are going through this. It gets better man. Try to understand that all these thoughts are just thoughts. Learn to control the controllables. Surrender to the uncontrollables. I’ve been where you are, and I can tell you from experience that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong and brave brother
@@milesp123xd7 I really appreciate that brother
I also had my first one after smoking weed, though before that, I smoked regularly and never had an issue, so I think that there was some other shit going on that manifested itself after smoking. It seemed to happen after trying LSD (wouldn't say it was bad per se, but extremely overwhelming) for me and I'd be curious if anyone else has had this sort of reaction. K, honestly I think that the panic attacks happened for a reason initially for me, then have continued when the original issue wasnt really an issue anymore precisely for the reason of avoiding having another. I've found ways over time to calm myself and would be curious to hear what each of you do in the situation where you feel that dread of an impending attack.
Man, serious kudos to this guy for articulating these feelings so well while actively feeling them. I haven't heard someone describe such a resonant experience in a very long time
These episodes hit home. Dr.K makes you realize that seeking helps instead of carrying it all might be the way to go.
Holy shit, the first 30 minutes of this where the guy was describing his childhood, felt like he was describing my own. For example the strict household as a kid, dad being gone for long periods while I was younger, parents getting divorced in the 8th grade, and experiencing my first panic attack around 16.
Sometimes all it takes is to hear another's story to know that you're not alone. Thank you for making this for all of us.
Hot damn, this channel is an absolute goldmine of relatable content.
First time I "partook" in the weed, I also had a panic attack, because nobody had told me about the shakes and I was VERY far past the point of my comfortable range of weed in my system. It was at a party and I literally had to lie down on the sofa away from all the other party people, because I was so far gone (and didn't want to look like someone ODing to them as well). I VERY vividly remember lying on that sofa, all my muscles spasming thinking "what if it doesn't stop? What if I have a heart attack? What if I die here?". Following experiences with weed I'd always sit there thinking "wait, do I look like I'm too high right now? Am I high enough? Do the others enjoy their time? Am I ruining it for them?" and get into a spiral that way as well.
I took a good long break from weed and I think now I have it under control a lot more, having identified that it was "just" an anxiety attack and in my head at the time (also having read up a lot more about weed, and being way more consciencious about consumption). But that fear of the downwards spiral regarding drugs never left me.
Assuming anyone reads this (probably not, but eh), I know that the reasonable solution to that would probably be to stay away from substances that make me feel that way, but I feel like that's definitely the wrong way to approach it for me. Especially because I really enjoy the times that I don't spiral and get to have the "good" effects only. Definitely very hard relate to what Dew was saying in the video though; that fear of panic attacks has never completely left me.
wow this is crazy... that stuff about his childhood and having "danger anticipation. . . as a survival adaptation. . .baked into" him really resonated with me holy crap..
these videos, really make me want to become a therapist. Watching people find themselves, brings me such joy and sense of "love". Thank you for the vid!
Omg i used to feel the same way about my anxiety and hearing him describe it just made me realize how far i've come. This channel in combination with seeing a therapist has really taught me what anxiety is and how i can deal with it. It's not gone at all but how i handle it and percieve it has changed so much.
This guy said so many things that I have experienced to such a precise degree. Chuck, if you read this, know that if you and I have such similar thoughts and backgrounds, many others have as well. I have fear of feeling bad again. It makes me feel bad again. Meditation is fantastic in teaching you to let those thoughts go. Let them be. You’re good. Notice the thoughts, let them be, don’t fight them and over time it’ll get easier. They will come back, but when you notice them realize that they weren’t there before and can go away again. It takes time to heal, but you’re healing.
I just remembered a traumatic childhood experience i have never thought of since i was a kid. i gotta talk to my therapist about it. this helps me understand a lot of my fears now.
Its incredible how similar my experience has been to yours, friend. The MJ induced psychotic episode, PTSD, flashback anxiety, feelings of depersonalization and derealization, panic attacks, suicidal ideation. It gets better I promise. Never give up, you will find the right doctor. It took 3 for me, and I owe my life to my mother and that doctor. They gave me my life back. I wouldn't be here without them.
More details pls 😅 we need to know what your dr and your mom did go help you bcs there are so many suffering from this who have no idea what good help looks like.
Don't be afraid to reach out. Speak to those close to you and share your experiences, be as honest as you can be.
No matter how anxious or uncertain my mother was, she was reassuring that things would improve and we would get the right treatment. She was empathetic to my experiences even though she didn't know or understand what it was I was experiencing and she relentlessly pursued medical professionals to help me. Treatment started with an antipsychotic (Seroquel) to manage a potential underlying psychosis, for which it didn't help, as I was not psychotic (even though i thought I was). Then a benzodiazepine (Clonazepam) to mitigate the panic attacks. In the end the end I was placed on a mood stabilizer/SSRI (Fluoxetine) and that helped a ton. Then through exposure therapy, CBT, the occasional clonazepam, and time to practice regaining control over mind and body, I got better. After three years I came off all medications and have not had a panic attack since.
Hang in there, man. My first panic attack was at 15, I quickly developed derealization and clinical OCD, had severe panic attacks 1-3x a day for nearly a year. I made it out. You’re not hopeless.
I've lived a very similar life and it's shocking how much his story parallels mine. While listening I was able to connect the dots. Always trying to be anywhere else, friends, Family or out side without even thinking about it. Nothing I did was up to standards or could vary from what they wanted so I felt discouraged from exploring anything.... thank you for sharing
I don't play WoW but I've learned enough about it that these analogies are really helping me understand this.
Dr k has become addicted to this new mocking voice, it might be time for an intervention
i want a full stream on meme voice. I don't care if it's this one or the *m'lady* one
Every good teacher I have ever had always has a voice for the students or other people in general.
Your take on agoraphobia is really worth noting. Thank you for having an open discussion regarding anxiety and its possible manifestations. Much props to cdew for agreeing to have an open discussion. I have no idea about the gaming world, and I am unfamiliar with your body of work. I sincerely hope you are doing well.
47:31 "i guess you either laugh or you cry" NO SHIT CHUCK I'M OVER HERE BAWLING. having a complicated childhood upbringing is heartbreaking, dude
Right? That poor guy. He's been brainwashed and conditioned to believe his abusive father is "a little crazy" and just laughed it off. That hit home as someone who grew up with a narcissistic abusive father (and dealing with the resulting CPTSD) no wonder he has panic attacks and a lot of other issues. I would have gone no contact with him based on what he told us and when he said his dad comes over to see his kids my heart sank.
Hopefully he gets the help he deserves and good on Dr K to strongly recommend him to see a psychiatrist or trauma therapist to recover from his past.
So glad for Chuck that he was able to open up and start to get help for this problem. Really feel for him growing up in such a seemingly abusive atmosphere. This ep is much more than about overthinking!
Another great meeting.
Well worth staying for the entire 3 hours ( approximate )
> I am beginning to see why I never made any progress in my talk - therapy sessions. These were only 40 minutes long. No time to get past the surface, no time to go in deep, no time for counter interactions & follow through.
> Forty minute sessions are only going to gloss the surface.. Quite frustrating actually…
No time for feedback or insights .
Or maybe my therapists were just too tired to engage w. me.
Thank you both. These sessions are so important on so many levels. Thank you, Cdew , for your vulnerability. It really opens windows into my own life 🙏
I'm not a gamer but I love your videos! I have watched a few of them now and this one really resonated with me because I had a strict father growing up too and also have lived with anxiety and depression since i was a teenager, when my dad really started to get more strict with me. I have been to therapy 3 different times and I feel like I got more from this video than I did from all that therapy combined! I can relate to so much of what Chuck said and goes through every day. Just wanted to say thanks, and I will be watching a lot more of your videos, they really help me get through the day!
This is needed right now, thank you
Hey Sal, say no when he asks if he can think for a second.
"As long as you're not getting help, you're delaying final doom."
That hit me hard.
I can relate soooo much! Thank you, Chuck for being so brave and speaking about this. Thank you Dr. K. for your insight and compassion for both Chuck and this topic.
I didn't know how much I needed to hear this until I heard it. Like I have been dealing with anxiety and depression since my mother died back in May this year and some of the things involved and how me being there through the whole thing and being unable to help the situation regardless has had me in this endless loop for almost two months of thinking what could I have done in this situation or this one. So on and so forth. I have been trying to get in touch with my shrink because it has affected my ability to sleep and eat. It's gotten somewhat better but it's not...great.
I feel you. I had a panick attack at the age of 16, a huge one. I tought i was going to die, litteraly. I suffered from depersonnalisation/derealisation after it (life seems unreal and you feel detached from yourself).
I got out of it.
You are on the right track my man, keep up the good work.
Same here man, my dp is slowly coming back sometimes though, how’d you get out of it?
My dp/dr comes and goes and has for about 6 or so years now its exhausting
@@patricklapinski1526 Don't let up on breaking from it. I've been feeling really good last two days because I just keep telling myself who the f*ck cares when it comes back, and then I'm good until I remind myself again. Rinse repeat. You got this.
@@Jake-zg1ue thank you for thr positive reinforcement, i'll try my best! I wish you yhr best of luck on your own journey!
Hey there!
I am not a fan of the ''act as if it doesnt exist and it will go away'' because avoiding the problem is not the solution to solve it. Eventually it will come back.
Here is what worked for me :
DP/Dr is very reactive to anxiety, so you gotta heal your anxiety if u wanna have chance to get out of it. I also did trauma integration, which involved talking about the relationship with my parents and other stuff to a therapist. Treat yourself with respect, build yourself a strong identity , get to the root cause of anxiety and maintain a healty lifestyle(good relationships, purpose, exercice, minfulness, nutrition..etc).
The keys to your healing is the effort you will put in to reorient your life and a good therapist who understands what DP/DR is.
I wish you the best guys!
It's funny how every one of us can rationally understand that anxiety is there to help us, but when it happens and it actually works as intended, we are mad about it!
Can you please do an interview with someone on autistic masking? I’m resisting restarting treatment because of 10+ years of various therapists, I think I was masking & couldn’t easily access true emotions.
A female person would be a bonus!
Thank you ! ❤
Had some good therapists over the years but recently found the best of the lot. How is she the best? She had the same issues in life that I did: born into a cult; psychological, physical, sexual, spiritual abuse; ADHD; High functioning Autism with high intellect; done with religion but very "spiritual." You do what works for you, but for me, the Autism mask never came down till I met this therapist. First time in my life I felt seen and safe. Just my humble opinion, but I'd grill the hell out of any therapist and make sure they've HAD THE EXPERIENCES, not just read about them.
Wow. The linkin park reference floored me. I was already relating strongly to Chuck, I feel like my father was the low level version of his "The sound of music" type father, lol. But I deal with anxiety over being judged by others all day, and just recently re-discovered linkin park and noticed that THIS is the main theme of their music. Internalized judgements from others. The face inside that's right beneath the skin. It watches everything. Like Santa.
Damn.
This was amazing.
Thanks so much Dr.K
I grew up in an abusive household(physically and emotionally)is now in my late twenties that I can see how much it affected me.
I've been a fan of your work for almost a year now but this one reaaally hit the spot for me. The similarity between Chuck's and mine situation is unbelivable. I was gonna wait with going to therapy until after I finished uni but now I feel like I might just try to get into it now. Thanks for everything Dr. K, you're doing so much amazing work for the people of internet I don't think we can ever pay you back. Shit's legendary man
I experienced a customer having a panic attack while at work. She was pacing back and forth and breathing rapidly I could honestly feel the panic she was going through. I had to take her somewhere private away from the stares, sat her down, and did some deep breathing exercises with her to relax her breathing.
I've been waiting for a session just like this. I share alot of the same anxiety issues as cdew and this is tearing me apart on the inside. Its been a struggle to try and talk to someone about these issues and I break down every time I try. Its just nice to see someone share a lot of the same struggles
Few things are as controversial as (over-)thinking... most people don't even realize that they cannot stop and create an identity around thinking all the time
hits home
@@adamcummings20 facts the man I am now is not the person who went to elementary school
Its easy to fall into a trap in times like this where you're so isolated you sort of create a world in your head and simulate yourself in you imagination, which makes you feel secure, but once you actually go outside that world falls apart and the anxiety comes back
I feel like this why a lot of the smartest people throughout history struggled with depression anxiety and suicide. Some people that smarter people are privy to some kind of knowledge that makes them not enjoy life. But really I just think that these kind of thinkers, these people who are in their head all day are prone to overthinking and depression and anxiety.
Oh no does this apply to me? *Engine revving noises*
Got this in my Recommended randomly. I don't even have anxiety, but I love the constant likening to WoW situations. I like comparing gameplay situations with RL in my own problem solving and it works surprisingly well most of the time.
Thank you for doing what you are doing, this has been a lot of help for our household.
THANK YOU! You just gave me a new perspective. I believe I have anxiety but I just started thinking about the other perspective. And now I'm thinking how I never thought of this before :D Dr. K, Thank you for being you. Also thank you cdew for participating and sharing your experiences
Everyone is talking about getting stoned but I'm just anxious still. People say to be future-oriented but that's my default self, I only think about the future and can't enjoy something now. If I were to take a class I see it as 200 hours of work rather than just an hour every weekday. It's hard trying new things, sometimes it's easy if I don't overthink but when I do I just think about how people are better at this then me. Which is stupid because if I just practice I'll get better or to that point but my brain won't shut up. It's like imposter syndrome but it gets in the way of daily life like cooking breakfast
relateable
@@namowadriver Hey I just want to say that your comments helped me, I just begun a very big depression and i struggle immensely with living in the present instead of the future.
Sounds like INxJ in mbti
Just wanna thank this channel. Because seeking out this stuff on my own would be exhausting and scary, but seeing a professional talking about mental health and offering explanations is very much "therapeutic". Even if no one's experience matches my own, core concepts can be common since we're all human, and it can bring clarity and offer food for thought.
I mean, therapy on fucking twitch? That's one hell of a way to bring knowledge to a community that kindsa need it
When he talked about the first "Panic Attack" I literally had the same thought that Dr.K brings up.
That didn't sound like a panic attack, but more like an ego death (or bad trip as some will say).
The way he described it was almost exactly what I went through when unknowingly given 25i.
Makes it seem like maybe he was given something other than weed but not impossible to have bad experience just from weed.
As soon as he described his hallucinations, I knew it was a bad trip. I had a similar thing when I was on holiday in Jamaica, except I was at a cocktail party surrounded by people in suits laughing at jokes I was telling. It looked completely real and felt like half an hour had passed, when in reality it had only been about 30 seconds.
Dudes dad gave him anxiety ptsd complex, gets panic attack and it gets trippy because weed anxiety attacks are nuts and thought loopy as hell and very real feeling. Gets ptsd from trippy anxiety attack, makes anxiety not only worse, but a thought loop in and of itself. Rough.
I’ve had panic attacks since I was probably around age seven. Long story short my childhood had been traumatic way before then on multiple occasions. But growing up I never understood what they were and when I was little they were not nearly as severe as when I got older. So I assumed that the panic attacks was just a normal amount of fear that everyone experienced…But when I was 17 I finally had one so severe that it lasted for two hours, and I then started to have an auditory hallucination. Luckily I was left alone at the time. A few years went by and I never mentioned the incident to anyone because I felt like I had lost control to the point that I could go insane. I thought that if I just prioritized not getting upset that it wouldn’t happen again… Spoiler alert that didn’t work lol. A year after that had happened the feelings I had gotten before the huge panic attack started to emerge throughout the day, and no matter what I did to calm down it only felt like I was delaying the inevitable…I still went to work, but straight after my shift ended the panic attack finally set in and I ended up canceling the ride I had home because I didn’t want my friend or anyone else to see me in case I “lost it” again…An hour after it passed my father drove me home. Only after another year did I finally come out about what had happened to me when I was 17, so at that point it had been two years…Two years of putting stressful things off in the hopes of not having to experience anything like that again, but failing and still going through the attacks. My parents helped me find professional help and it was determined that since years had passed since the auditory hallucination that I had experienced a temporary psychotic break, rather then it being due to a mental illness(we also got a second opinion and they were in agreement)….Point to this I guess is although I never developed a fear of my panic attacks to the point that I couldn’t leave the house, I definitely experienced for a few years being so afraid of them that I would run away mentally or physically to keep myself and others from them…It was exhausting and a bit dangerous, but honestly since I didn’t understand what had happened and what was continuing to happen I can’t really blame myself for reacting the way that I did.
BTW doing a lot better lol! I’ve gotten proper treatment through medication, therapy, and improving my life situations. It has been quite a few months since I’ve last had a panic attack(I used to have them once a month or less for a while) and I still haven’t experienced any other hallucinations since the one incident six years ago
When he was protecting his dad, he mentioned his Grandpa was the nicest guy ever. Maybe his Grandpa was too nice and his dad felt like he could have used more structure in his childhood, so Chuck's dad went overboard with the structure.
The fact that you are the “mediator” to help those connect to the problem in a better way is amazing
1:10:00 - Exactly! You’re not alone man, that’s how my anxiety manifests too. Trying to get back to “peace of mind” and the ability to just think about random stuff.
Just wanting your mental real estate back!
actually got hallucinations like I'm dying when I broke a bone in my arms, never knew that was ptsd, glad It disappeared for me ..
damn, as a kid a busted both my wrists once, broke both my arms twice, had to have surgery for left arm twice (titanium plaque and pins) and broke my clavicle and have plaque and pins in it too, i enjoyed my childhood lol but i guess stayed too much in hospitals, thank god i didnt get any ptsd from that, i always have been very thin.
Ohhhh dude, unfortunately I understand. Waking up with your heart beating hard with anxiety…. 😥
What an amazing video HealthyGamerGG, the meditation at the end was really lovely. Thanks for this incredible video and thank you Dew for being so brave and sharing your vulnerability. This is so helpful to those that go through similar difficulties, thank you!!
That feeling of “everything feels like its not real” i have felt that during my panic attacks. Kinda like if you are experiencing yourself from outside of yourself.
"I feel weird in my own skin. Does that make sense?"
Makes 100% perfect sense.
44:50 at this segment I remembered an incident of my life which totally express how one never know what experience they are deprived of until they see someone else experiencing that.
I recalled once at my school, one of my classmate calming her father down by hugging him, after an heated argument with the principal or something.
And I remember just watching her thinking how this can never be me at her place. I couldn't imagine doing anything except panicking or freezing in fear watching my father yelling like that. And that was the first time I realized how different other people life was from me.
I needed this right now!!! Tyvm
hes just like me fr fr
but actually very similar experiences to me. can say a good therapist goes a very long way.
Wow! As I listen to this and we're about 40 minutes in, I almost hear echos of my dad. I couldn't have snacks between meals, I had to finish all my food, once we had liver and onions and I must've sat for 2 hours dumping ketchup on it to make it better (I don't like ketchup much to this day LOL), he had very similar "military mentality" as I call it... My mother had anxiety but didn't even realize it til this year (she's 73). I once told her a few years ago "You're the reason I have anxiety!", to which she replied "Bullshit!" I'm glad someone finally said, though not to me, "You grew up in a really fucked up house".
ive been watching cdew for years now,and never even knew. it turns out his issues pretty much mirrors mine,so its like i got my own little session with Dr K along with Cdew's. Thank you so much for opening up about all this Chuck,and thank you doctor for wonderful session.
Appreciate your courage man. Thank you for doing these Dr.
Grew up watching CDew through high school. Right around when my anxiety became an issue, and so hearing that he's had a lot of the same issues has been helpful.
Wow we had such a similar childhood, mine was a tad bit freer though. I'm still trying to feel comfortable around the fam that I lived with so this gives me hope.
13:07 "Deep breaths for 15 minutes, BEFORE and after you wake up."
I noticed that too haha
Yeah he messed up he is definitely nervous
i think he just means before (you go to sleep) and after you wake up :)
no guys, he's just so next level, he does it while sleeping.
he's over 9000 gigachad disguised as level 1
I’ve never watched anything like this or had any professional counseling, this was very eye opening both to hear the guests experiences and conclusions about his tendencies and where the host poked and prodded fueling the dialogue. I will definitely be along to hear more
it's always the most polite and kind people, too. selene above, that is the most heart-wrenching shit
Damn man, 4:07 "I'm afraid to have anxiety." How common is THIS for men, especially these days? Good for you, Chuck for having the will to talk openly about this.
Holy shit that trial he's talking about is one of the first memories I have as a kid. It was a nightmare, a really vivid one. My dreams had been building up towards it somehow, and that nightmare scared me so much it still sticks with me. Like my soul had been judged and doomed in that moment. To this day I SOMEHOW feel like at the early age of like 4, I'd done something so bad it forfeit my soul already. I think I was feeling judgment from my dad, now that I think back to it... But... Idk... What he describes sounds so vague but it resonates exactly with what I went through like 25 years ago...
Astonishing, these interviews. I've never related to somebody else on this before.
quarantine,hit us all,hope we stay strong.wonderful to see you
HealthyGamerGG talking with amazing so kind wow champ cdew one of my favor youtubers!!great!!
Honestly, when they got to talking about the panic attacks from weed, I felt that, even though I've never taken drugs or weed in my life. Like for a good few months, every single day around the time I was 15, if I stared off absentmindedly, I'd see things that weren't there or I'd feel like my consciousness was transported somewhere full of numbers. In all those cases, this awful anxiety would hit me until I snapped out of it. Every time I went to bed as well, my brain would go into a mode of hyper-activity for hours at a time, and my imagination would just go absolutely insane.
Those were not happy times, and while I've not had anything that bad since, I still sometimes feel a panic or anxiety attack trying to sneak up on me. I've told a few people about it, but not any therapists since I've always been short on money, plus my parents are busy either working or sleeping. I'm legally an adult now, but things like driving terrify me, plus I wouldn't (still don't) have the money to pay for a car on a monthly basis for gas or insurance.
When you see a video about overthinking, and then start to overthink about if you should watch the video about overthinking.
Are you even thinking? Think about it
@@JVJath no, i'm feeling it. well i thought i was. I don't know what to think anymore.
Shout out to Chuck for allowing a private session to be viewed by the public. That's a super strong attribute. Cool to see how I can get the chance to relate and differ.
Damn man. One thing to put restrictions on playing video games but to feel scared and having to sneak food so you don't go to bed hungry is completely different. I don't know how you can't not have a bad impression on your dad on that alone. How can you let your child go to sleep hungry especially if you have the food. It's different if they're in a tough situation and can't afford it but they did have it.
In my experience and it seems to be the case with Cdew since he stated he's religious, they're raised to respect elders through all that shit. I've never understood it, I can acknowledge that my parents paid for my shit and financially support me, but I can also blame them for any negative side effects their bad parenting may have caused me. Holding them accountable is one thing you might not be able to do, but as far as rationalizing your negative mental health, call a spade, a spade.
His dad saying "that never happened" is gaslighting. Holy crap, that's bad.
I know right. Sometimes i remember some pretty messed up thing my parents did to me and then they say "that never happened, stop lying" and then i bring up some other things and they just stop talking about it and change subject. Funny how they seem to forget pretty easily about their mistakes but always remember ours.
No actually, it's not. The trick is that in order to keep the denial shield up, parents have the amazing skill to actually forget. Dr K has said in other videos "If you want to see the strongest denial, parents are where to go. They'll deny to the bitter end because if they admitted to hurting their children, then they'd go 'Oh no, that means I don't love them!' "
It's just the human brain showing its tricks in the worst of ways. Actual gaslighting would be to convince you, even though you know the truth, that you're wrong and it happened differently, or trying to change your understanding of it even if it means crushing your feelings under their foot.
@@BygoneT That's interesting. I did not consider that. What would you call it then? Unintentional gaslighting?
@@davidwing8879 I'm not aware of the word for it, but gaslighting is usually done consciously or not, with the purpose of hiding their own faults, by altering your view of things.
This is denial fueled erasure of uncomfortable memories so I don't think it's the same thing at all, but I don't think anyone would be angry if you called it that.
There's actually an old Latin word that describes the thing perfectly, but it's not used in this context usually, it's called obscurantism in English, but in general, obscurantism is a practice that obscures something by doing something specific, so it fits.
Emotional obscurantism?
Memory purge?
Stretegic memory crash?
Emotional sycophanting?
EDIT: Missing words
I believe he was referring to his wife’s father saying this. Either way it’s invalidating.
I feel like this has been sent to me ... fabulous timing a lot of questions about my life have been answered ...
Felt like shit today, watched your vid and it gave me the motivation to book an appointment with a psychologist. Thank you dr K!!
This video got into my recommended and YT algorithm sometimes makes me a bit afraid. Anyways, the really interesting stuff to me is how Chuck is on medication for a few years but feels like if he gets psychotherapy it makes him crazy, while I've been on psychotherapy for years but the idea of being medicated is what makes me feels like I'm definitely crazy. (I've been in medication before and the freaking panapea had me getting prescriptions again)
I beat agoraphobia, feels good man
Awesome!
I’ve experienced my first panic attack at 23 and it changed my whole perspective on psychological issues with other people but I tried to burry it until I was 30. I now want to try psycho therapy.
That part about your description of agoraphobia:
I can relate in a sense but not panic attack, I’m afraid of the social battery drain. Once that battery is gone I need to go home immediately or I’ll become asocial and not very nice (like when I first wake up ) and I don’t want people to experience that.
That’s why I love living big cities because it’s easy to go home when I want to. Also why I hate going to the countryside because I’m stuck there and can’t go home when I want or it’s very far. Not to mention I sorta get anxious in wide open spaces of nothingness bexuase it feels like being a deer in an open meadow during hunting season.
I’m not afraid of leaving my house but I’ll never leave my house without knowing I have an easy way home. Thus there’s no better place for me to live than a huge city where it’s never wide open empty spaces and it’s easy to go home when I want. I also can get lost in the crowd more easy so I can be as flashy as I am and not standout/singled out by people hard stares
People often get it wrong. I don’t wear flashy clothes to stand out. I don’t like standing out. But I wear flashy clothes because that’s simply just me and who I am. I refuse to change that unless you pay me enough to do it temporarily for part of the day. So I need to be somewhere where I can be who I am and not stick out.