I've been married 41 yrs. Married at age 18 yrs. We raised 7 kids. We are 58 and 59 yrs. Been thru it all. I came from a rough home with many serious and difficult issues to over come. We are both oldest in birth order, We agree politically and religiously.
Congrats but you're an antique dispensing irrelevant information. You grew up in a "normal" world with traditional grounded gender roles, people with similar values and backgrounds, who met organically and the societal pressures kept people in check, men ran the family and the government mostly stayed out unless it was severe. None of that exists today. Destroyed gender roles, anarchy in relationships, toxic emasculating big government anti-male legal systems, lawfare, divorces are common, men and women do not meet organically but instead on toxic internet platforms, most people divorce or are unhappy in marriage, etc.
@@bumpercoach30 years here, Going away Never asking permission Talking 1-1 about she and other girlfriends (even if not true) Hold the line Be the boss Do not ask Just do it
Truth. Women are attracted to a man with a plan. Doesn't matter what the plan is, and they like to hear your future plans before they will talk about theirs - they like to know that it really is your idea rather than you just saying things to get her guard down. Your job is to find one who aligns with your plans. Best wishes.
@@enemyofthestatewearein7945 yup a lot of future faking. I even remember my hubby saying he was going to volunteer with me at church for special needs kids. Ha!
It still blows my mind that we live in a world this conversation needs to be had. Woman used to be proud to add value to a mans life by supporting him in his goals, and the common goal of raising happy, intelligent, well adjusted children. I get pressured and shamed all the time because I don't care to chase a career, i have higher education- but being a respectable wife and mother is the job I want. I know that a real honest man doesn't need or want me to pay his bills for him - but yes, help him do that by taking care of the majority of household responsibilities. Anyways - point is, I know i'm not perfect- but their are woman who want the same thing - Don't give up :)
@6:16 This hit the nail on the head. My dad told me the same thing and it's part of the reason why I left my ex. Mother was heavyset and they had a broken family.
How the mom acts is also a big sign. If the mom has been divorced multiple times and continues to use men for a place to live run. Moms have a huge influence on daughters obviously.
? My mother was overweight, mostly due to her depression. My father cheated & mistreated her. I grew up in a very dysfunctional house. Does it occur to you that a human being can observe and discern between what they want & don't want? I live a very healthy lifestyle, workout, and I'm fit. I also have a very positive and supportive marriage. You all really need to open your minds, these assumptions are toxic & you're going to end up in a mess.
I know 2 foreign Chinese women who pretended to be aligned to American men in order to get married and come to America. And when they got established in America, they slowly let out their true nature of wanting a big house in the city/suburbs, a brand new luxury car, etc. until the men ended up divorcing them. Unfortunately for the men, these women moved on quickly with other American men AND these men had to pay child support and alimony and half of their savings to these women. Careful out there.
I met and married a Woman in Thailand over 20 years ago. Men have to be careful but there are some great woman in Asia. I know many people married to Asian woman and things are working out.
What you teach me and other men is astonishingly valuable. You inspired me to be more of a man again. Your advice is worth its weight in gold for my relationship with my wife, for my game of life. Best regards from the shithole of Germany...
Essentially this: your woman has to look at the world thru the same eyes that you do. You and her need to have a common worldview. This maximizes the probability that you will meet each other's expectations. And by expectations, I mean: what do you expect out of life? What do you expect from each other? What are your expectations regarding children? Do you want any? If yes, HOW MANY? How you gonna raise those kids? How are you going to educate them? Will religion play a role in their lives? If yes, which and how much? Etc, etc...
shes either gonna take your lead or reject your lead... not only will you hate the latter but she will also despise you more and more if shes refusing to see you as a leader and also hate herself for picking you
She is an adult, what are you talking about? She isn't looking for a leader, she will make her own decisions. You are confusing women with children. You are just looking for someone to boss around and control.
@@AB-jl1un also good comment 🤣🤚 I just see it from the perspective of the Dancefloor. Aman takes the lead but the woman is the one doing the figures how she pleases so he’s more more like a container and she is the creative fluid… men and women are ideally unseparable
13:09 1st born here. I own multiple properties, did an enlistment in the Army, multiple college degrees, work in tech, have several entrepreneurial ventures.
6:15 - spot on. My ex had daddy issues, her parents were essentially divorced, I’d go over their house & everyone was in a separate room. I was never going to be able to fix that.
Just having divorced parents doesn’t necessarily mean a person has “daddy issues” though. If she actually had a complex, that’s one thing, but if it was just an awkward situation at her house that’s another. If your aiming to be “alpha”, what’s keeping you from taking her literally anywhere else to spend quality time? Maybe you were blessed with a better family situation and could have spent time at your place instead?
@@buffaloalice8413 her mom blamed everything on her dad, and then dumped that on their kids. This ex eventually developed the “all men” way of thinking. Trust me, I tried to have this ex move in with me, but she was very attached to her mom & didn’t want to leave her with the dad. It was a lot to untangle, and only she could do it. Not me. In short, the nature of her parents relationship shaped how she viewed men, which was negatively.
@@AG-rc2np At least you recognized that. My issue is that people have started to assume that everyone with divorced parents develops "mommy or daddy issues" when that's simply not the case. Of course it happens, but I would rather people look at the situation as a whole. It's like with the whole birth order thing. It has been largely debunked as a strong indicator of outcomes, when in fact, it's likely a multitude of factors. For instance, I had divorced parents. However, because my mom kept the negative talk about my dad to an absolute minimum, and I was surrounded by strong male role models in my extended family and friend circle, I turned out pretty darn OK, I think. And I am happy to report that I don't hate men (in fact I like them quite a lot). You could argue that people like me may be an exception to the stereotype, but that doesn't negate the fact that a whole swath of men and women that bucked the trend are getting lumped in with everyone else. While I can appreciate that people like the ease and convenience of have rules and lists like this, I think there is a danger to it that creates over generalization and a tendency for people to avoid a potential partner, simply because all the boxes aren't checked. It's almost the same thing the feminists are doing in their videos. Anyway, that was my long winded thought. Hope you are in a better, happier situation.
@@buffaloalice8413 I actually agree with you. It is thrown around quite a bit in a way to subscribe blame.. which I’m not blaming my ex for growing up the way she did. Ultimately, her parents failed to model a healthy relationship. I’m with you, these situations often times have far more nuance, and can’t be simply explained with lists.
I love when videos direct my awareness to novelty and you did that with the section on birth order at 07:28 and possible compatibilities. Don't know enough about birth order to say whether I agree or not but it was really good to have a flashlight in that direction...something to look out for.👍🏾
My ex, her father committed suicide when she was 12 and she said that her parents argued almost everyday for 2 years. At the time, I just thought that she had a tough start to life. None of it was her fault. But as I have became more educated with dating /vetting and relationships, mental heath I have learnt that these things REALLY have an impact on a person's development. And it's really serious. Don't get me wrong, I made some mistakes in that relationship and since I have spent time on self development. But I feel that I done a lot more right than wrong. When things were going well, she would mess things up. I believe this is because being loved and happy isn't normal to her. Normal is chaos to her. Honestly guys, this is so important because if you're learning these things mid relationship with someone who shows consistent signs of BPD or NPD it's very tough to leave when you're emotionally attached. But you have to. Because only she can fix herself and if they cannot take accountability for why they behave the way they do, they will never seek the correct help. Pick wisely.
Man, I was in the almost exactly the same boat as you, and I have came to exactly the same conclusions as you. Your conclusions are the exact precise truth.
@@davidmiletic6647 it's tough, I could fill an entire podcast with the experiences I have had with her. And the truth is, it's my fault. Because I saw the signs and the red flags but I tried to ignore them. Probably because I was scared of ending things. Here is one example. We went to London recently to see one of our favourite bands. We stayed there for a night. We had a great day travelling there, great day when we got there and the gig was incredible. We had incredible sex that night. The next day, we walked around London, nice lunch and a few bars. We travelled home and had a nice meal at home with more incredible sex. Sunday, we had another great day. On the Monday, she told me that it was the greatest weekend she has ever had on Earth. Big compliment! So that obviously means I was doing alot of things right and she felt heard and understood. On Tuesday night, I came down from having a shower and she pulled out an old phone of mine that hasn't been switched on since 2019! She had to charge the phone to switch it on. She knew my password and swooped through it and find a photo of my ex. She went ballistic! Saying that I kept that photo to look at because I was still on love with her. It was an old IPhone and it said on the screen that the phone hasn't been backed up for hundreds and hundreds of days. My point is, SHE said it was the best weekend she had and she done that meaning that when things are going well, she becomes nervous as this is not normal to her. Things like this happened all the time. Be great for a few days and we are both happy. The next day, she would find someone to sabotage. Honestly, I have had 3 LTRs. My first relationship lasted 11 years, the second was 3 years and the last one 41/2. The one that lasted the longest was my first girlfriend and she was so easy going, laid back and just easy to get on with. A pleasure to be with. The other two, not so much. What separated them? The girl I was with for 11 years DID NOT come from a broken home. She respected her father. My second girlfriend didn't but the Dad was very beta. And was simply a pleaser and the Mum and daughters did not respect him. I am 40 this year and as I explained, I have had many years in relationships. And only over the last couple of years I discovered Corey Wayne, Rich Cooper etc. And this subject should really be taught in schools because its that important. Schools should be helping children who's parents have broken up to give them support as it truly effects the mind and its development due to increased levels of cortisol being released and it prevents the brain from developing correctly. This is how BPD, NPD and many other personality disorders are created.
8:16 finally!!!!! Someone who understands the UK divorce laws. In the UK you will not lose 50% in divorce if there are kids. I lost 70% of my money and assets, including my house, in my UK divorce (my wife earned more than me and we only had 1 kid, the judge was female). However, even in US, the husband loses 70% once you add on legal fees and alimony. If there is a $100k marital pot (that gets split 50-50) but the judge orders 10k lump sum alimony and 10k legal fees to the wife that's 70-30.
The one with first born, last born is really funny one. I’m the oldest of 4 kids, my wife is last born of 4 kids. We have been together for 19 years and it’s great. We were both virgins when we met, so the bond is very strong. My wife has no interest in other men what so ever, no red flags and just a pleasant person to be around. As the oldest, I’m always the concerned one, my wife as the last is kids and takes things lightly, always positive 😊
First time I’ve heard Rich bring up the parents. I remember my young relationship (girlfriends) parents (mother) openly arguing with each other about money loudly in the next room. One night I had band practice and showed up late. Her mother put her up to and motivated her to get loud and impetuous with me when I showed up. Mom was literally hovering around in the hall way. I was astounded 😳 She was only 17 then. We’re both in our 50’s now. Needless to say I moved on but I heard through 3 degree friends she’s been divorced twice.
So true about her family. Before meeting the family, I ask what does your father like to do? The best situation I ever had was that her father liked to play golf. I had an immediate common interest with him. We got along great.
Don't agree with the birth order but he's dead on with everything else. I'd also add you're not just looking at the mother and father's relationship, you're also looking at the uncles, aunts etc. Is this a family unit that stays with each other? I think if she grows up in a blue collar household, even better. They appreciate everything you do for them vs rich daddy's girl.
I agree, the birth order thing is on par with astrology IMO. I also agree with looking at the extended family. My dad walked out and the situation was not a good representation of what we often see going on today. The relationship was not one that was safe or healthy to have with a father. My relationship with my grandfather and my uncles was excellent though.
Some celebrity I saw on Johnny Carson said, if she has a little brother, she's going to treat you the way she treats him when she's got you barried (Oops, married). I've seen it in my own experience too.
I have been with a woman for 15 years . I have nothing to do with her sister , nothing to do with her mother , her father has passed away before we met . She has nothing to do with my brothers or my parents but we have a very strong relationship so that kind of blows your theory out of the water there .
What absolute rubbish. I have integrity. I can be held accountable I m a very honest person. Single at the moment, anyone in my so called dms are not exactly meaningful in my life. If I meet someone and we make commitment contact with other males cease. It's just as simple as that. Don't be paranoid. Most woman just want one man. Well I do anyway. Finding a man who wants the same would be nice.
It’s a perfectly constructed mechanism for women to lure a high flyer into their Venus trap and when she fancies someone else she can take all his money with her and he can start again. No upsides for men though, that should be clearly stated, but clearly given the number of men going to slaughter they are not in the know.
Long term vision, planning, and logistics the woman must defer to the man without hesitation. She must trust him like a child does a parent, or else it can never work. Little day to day random things are what negotiations' for. Like what movie to see or which restaurant to eat at beforehand. Negotiation isn't even the right word. Lighthearted discussion is a better way of putting it. And this is only for folks who've been married for a while. If you're just dating then the man should ALWAYS decide which entertainment options will be used. A woman isn't happy to go along wherever he wants should be nexted immediately.
Jordan Peterson talks about vetting but indirectly and not extensively. He basically says to stay away from obviously unhinged women....but nothing more than that.
Which is probably wiser. This is just over the top. Painting this broadly severely limits your options, and well, I think we see how well that’s working out for all of the boss women who want a 6’2” brain surgeon who drives a Maserati and vacations in the French Riviera.
Imagine living in a country with tens of millions of women and having to run away to another country to find one that will submit to your leadership lol Passport bros are weird af imo
Don’t go into dating looking for a wife or good mother material. Don’t lead with your wallet either. This is horrible advice. You’re not vetting, you’re enforcing boundaries. Enforcing boundaries never ends. You don’t “vet” for motherstock. This is so blue pill.
I think it’s ok to date knowing your looking for a spouse, but 100% agree, the “motherstock” thing is so cringeworthy. We aren’t dogs or cattle. 🤬 The more I watch of this dude, the less impressed I am.
@@dwellner502 why are you on a first date getting a woman for motherstock. A woman will wear a mask for the first 2 years and have you believing she’s a prude. Then you’ll put a ring on it. Then you find out the whole time you got played and hence the divorce rate. You don’t vet, you enforce boundaries. “Is she acting right?”, Not - “is she wearing the right mask and manipulating me properly?”
Rich, stop misleading dudes into thinking women are looking for committed relationships and out for the needs of men, such a thing DOES NOT exist. Women will only enter into a relationship if it favours her first and foremost, period...no matter how committed they seem, its only because they are on the take.
I'm surprised he missed out the main good sign in a wife - being devoutly religious, especially if she puts it into action by going to church every Sunday. He did mention religion as being good to have in common, but that was to do with family. It's the biggest green flag on its own.
My last gf attended church regularly. She still routine rode the cc. Their is little difference between secular and religious nowadays. Only difference is the "culturally Christian" girl will make you work hard and longer for the same mediocre results.
@@jamesballard6564 But why did you break up? Having a past of riding the CC shouldn't be a dealbreaker, if that was the reason. If she's willing to pray with you and do the spiritual work in reversing the CCs psychological effects, a woman deserves forgiveness.
To Rich's model: Well, I carry the cheekbones of my mother and nothing else. She's 5' short and stout. Anti social and liberal. Doesn't do anything to maintain her health food or exercise wise. I'm 5'11", athletic/slim, hourglass and look nothing like my dad who's 5'8" and obese. He's also liberal. I'm conservative. My dad is emotionally unavailable and would rather socialize with his neighbor than hang out with me. Do I have Daddy issues? NO. I've found positive Dad and female role models in an older, wiser more old fashioned dear friends. Guesd Rich's model is out the window. 🤷 Oh and I'm 41 and own my house and lead a peaceful joy filled life. Looking to share it with someone worth having. ❤️
The number doesn't matter as much as the inevitable loss of femininity and innocence that comes with having multiple partners. I've seen many girls with only a few men in their past act more callous and entitled than women with 10+. You can see it in her eyes and in the way she interacts with you and other men, if she's lost her shyness then she's too far gone.
I think that men should stop looking for underachievers. Fellas-- if you know how you want to live, then find somebody who has that way in common with you. For example-- if you want to live a minimalist life with nothing in your house, then find a woman who is well-established and lives that way too. Don't go for a woman to depend on your financial support and then expect her to go along with you not spending any money on her. Instead, go for a woman who doesn't need your money and also lives minimalist. In other words-- I think that men get themselves caught up in the desire to be needed. They want to be needed and then object to doing much if anything at all for their dependent woman who needs them.
You wife being first child, she's not bossy or demanding? If she's not, you got a unicorn as long as she maintains that. I'm a last-born by 13 years (and my mom's only) and I'm way closer to only-child than first-born in terms of traits.
I cannot believe how ridiculous it is that people are making a living out of coaching and advising men and women on dating, finding a mate etc. what the hell is wrong with the younger generations, hand holding on the basic competencies of life. We are doomed.
That's actually what I thought as well. I do get that people like to categorize everything, and sometimes, based on their unique experiences, they'll spot strange patterns and the categories will be very odd. But this definitely gave me the "I am a Capricorn, and I NEVER had a good time with Leos. If you are a Capricorn, NEVER go for Leos" vibes 😂
Red flag: no energy, , no libido. What I enjoyed doing she passed on them. BD father daughter relationship. Other than that great family and great sister in-law. After 32 years together and two adult married children we are getting divorced. The attraction and intimacy died years ago . Bring a roommate is not for me
I ran into a gent at a local building center store who was loading some sort of white woodwork trim. There were two beautiful Harley Davidson motorcycles parked next to him that he was admiring. His face was bathed in that moment of "what if" that married men with a "to-do" list very seldom put on. I got out of my car (1995 Buick Roadmaster with 36,000 original on it) and he says: "Nice car." I replied: "I'm not married. I could have bought a black one too. I'll bet these guys (pointing to the bikes) aren't married either. You seem to have a to-do list somewhere on your person." He replies: "It never ends..." Poor sumbitch.
I just got married (for the second time) this weekend! Lol…6 year vetting period with a 1 year engagement. I’m 51 and she’s 26 so we’ve been together since she was barely 20. I was lucky enough to snag her before modernity corrupted her. She’s converting to Catholicism now and we’re planning on many children and a house in the country!
Who should be the leader in a relationship? Man or woman? If you say woman, why do women find submissive men repulsive? Why are the male heroes of romance novels sexy and domineering? Why is 50 Shades of Grey a bestseller among women? This is is what women want.
Here's one that is seldom discussed...if you have one of your young children DIE will you donate organs....wow, my 5 month old son had a serious heart condition that almost took his life...and me and my wife at the time went the rounds on this topic, me, not wanting to donate...needless to say a year after his recovery we divorced..this wasn't the only reason, but it was a HOTTLY charged topic
@@duanedahl8856 oh I understand now. But still, if your soon is doomed to die, (if and) once he passes away, why would you not save another baby or two? I am aware though, that if the doctors know you will donate your sons organs, the likelyhood of your son dying is definately increased.
Oh yea? tell me how this god of yours has forgotten about the men that have been absolutely DEVASTATED by the glorious option of divorce BY WOMEN (our other half right? ).
@@terrodar19 You cannot apply God’s standards from the Bible in this world and expect miracles. Or you follow God’s path completely or you follow this world’s rules.
@@bolotabr12yeah the Bible explains it all but that would require reading and discernment which most men don’t do especially when they are getting hawk tuah spit on that thing.
There is no god, or at least zero proof of one, especially the Jewish mythological god you are referring to. And people were getting married long before the Torah was written.
I thought the red pill manosphere did not advocate marriage. Rich has explicitly told young men NOT to get married. According to his philosophy, marriage is only for women, and men should "spin plates" or secure an "LTR," but be careful to not allow that situation-ship to mimic legal marriage or else.
It doesn't advocate or discourage marriage (depends on the creator), but lots of RP creators acknowledge many guys are relationship-minded and will cater advice to those guys.
@@unpluggedvip375 Move on? What are you talking about? The RP community and Rich Cooper, specifically, instruct young men not to get married. So, why provide marital advice? Rich's whole philosophy is contradictory and therefore should be questioned (and subsequently discarded).
@@liverfailure1597 The Red Pill tells men not to get legally married. In their philosophy, "relationship-minded" men should settle for an "LTR." Do some research on red pill talking points.
If you’re a man coming from a place of control and fear, a woman will smell this instantly, resent you and rebel. Sorry to the fellas who think their wife is going to submit to that.
Who should be the submissive one in the relationship. then? Men? Strangely, women find submissive men unattractive, Somebody has to be the leader in a relationship. You can't be an Alpha Female and expect to be with an Alpha Male.
What I would really like ..... Is a man who teaches other men how to be a good boyfriend or husband. Too many guys out there who spend their time being hyper critical of women ...... "21 red flags" 😂😂😂
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I've been married 41 yrs. Married at age 18 yrs. We raised 7 kids. We are 58 and 59 yrs. Been thru it all. I came from a rough home with many serious and difficult issues to over come. We are both oldest in birth order, We agree politically and religiously.
Congrats but you're an antique dispensing irrelevant information. You grew up in a "normal" world with traditional grounded gender roles, people with similar values and backgrounds, who met organically and the societal pressures kept people in check, men ran the family and the government mostly stayed out unless it was severe. None of that exists today. Destroyed gender roles, anarchy in relationships, toxic emasculating big government anti-male legal systems, lawfare, divorces are common, men and women do not meet organically but instead on toxic internet platforms, most people divorce or are unhappy in marriage, etc.
How did you help her reject the sex-denial tendency?
@@bumpercoach30 years here,
Going away
Never asking permission
Talking 1-1 about she and other girlfriends (even if not true)
Hold the line
Be the boss
Do not ask
Just do it
Truth. Women are attracted to a man with a plan. Doesn't matter what the plan is, and they like to hear your future plans before they will talk about theirs - they like to know that it really is your idea rather than you just saying things to get her guard down. Your job is to find one who aligns with your plans. Best wishes.
Women are attracted to ambition. But many guys exploit this by making hollow promises.
@@enemyofthestatewearein7945 There are dishonest players on both sides of the aisle.
Yup !! This is so it is find one that aligns
@@enemyofthestatewearein7945 yup a lot of future faking. I even remember my hubby saying he was going to volunteer with me at church for special needs kids. Ha!
“I’m not gonna spend time on red flags” proceeds to spend time on red flags lol
It still blows my mind that we live in a world this conversation needs to be had. Woman used to be proud to add value to a mans life by supporting him in his goals, and the common goal of raising happy, intelligent, well adjusted children. I get pressured and shamed all the time because I don't care to chase a career, i have higher education- but being a respectable wife and mother is the job I want. I know that a real honest man doesn't need or want me to pay his bills for him - but yes, help him do that by taking care of the majority of household responsibilities. Anyways - point is, I know i'm not perfect- but their are woman who want the same thing - Don't give up :)
@6:16 This hit the nail on the head. My dad told me the same thing and it's part of the reason why I left my ex. Mother was heavyset and they had a broken family.
you came to the right place
1 Def
2 dumb
3 hot
4 owns a liquor store.
How the mom acts is also a big sign. If the mom has been divorced multiple times and continues to use men for a place to live run. Moms have a huge influence on daughters obviously.
Mother is a malignant narcissist and dad was a player
? My mother was overweight, mostly due to her depression. My father cheated & mistreated her. I grew up in a very dysfunctional house. Does it occur to you that a human being can observe and discern between what they want & don't want? I live a very healthy lifestyle, workout, and I'm fit. I also have a very positive and supportive marriage. You all really need to open your minds, these assumptions are toxic & you're going to end up in a mess.
I know 2 foreign Chinese women who pretended to be aligned to American men in order to get married and come to America. And when they got established in America, they slowly let out their true nature of wanting a big house in the city/suburbs, a brand new luxury car, etc. until the men ended up divorcing them. Unfortunately for the men, these women moved on quickly with other American men AND these men had to pay child support and alimony and half of their savings to these women. Careful out there.
That's common with Asian women. Chinese in particular.
You can’t bring them home unless you find a new one 🤷♂️
Rule number 1: Never bring a foreign woman to your home country. If you marry her, then spend the rest of your life in her country.
I met and married a Woman in Thailand over 20 years ago. Men have to be careful but there are some great woman in Asia. I know many people married to Asian woman and things are working out.
That is why it is so important to have a good prenup.
What you teach me and other men is astonishingly valuable. You inspired me to be more of a man again. Your advice is worth its weight in gold for my relationship with my wife, for my game of life. Best regards from the shithole of Germany...
Essentially this: your woman has to look at the world thru the same eyes that you do. You and her need to have a common worldview. This maximizes the probability that you will meet each other's expectations. And by expectations, I mean: what do you expect out of life? What do you expect from each other? What are your expectations regarding children? Do you want any? If yes, HOW MANY? How you gonna raise those kids? How are you going to educate them? Will religion play a role in their lives? If yes, which and how much? Etc, etc...
100
Having expectations you are already losing .
From a woman’s perspective this is crucial to communicate thoroughly, more so in the beginning.
shes either gonna take your lead
or reject your lead... not only will you
hate the latter but she will also despise
you more and more if shes refusing
to see you as a leader and also
hate herself for picking you
As a woman, this took me awhile to learn! If I can’t respect a (particular) man, it’ll never work.
@@amandahaataia5505 good lesson... Probably at least half of cases you could but will you?
This is the only comment that I find valuable here…
She is an adult, what are you talking about? She isn't looking for a leader, she will make her own decisions. You are confusing women with children. You are just looking for someone to boss around and control.
@@AB-jl1un also good comment 🤣🤚 I just see it from the perspective of the Dancefloor. Aman takes the lead but the woman is the one doing the figures how she pleases so he’s more more like a container and she is the creative fluid… men and women are ideally unseparable
13:09 1st born here. I own multiple properties, did an enlistment in the Army, multiple college degrees, work in tech, have several entrepreneurial ventures.
6:15 - spot on. My ex had daddy issues, her parents were essentially divorced, I’d go over their house & everyone was in a separate room. I was never going to be able to fix that.
Just having divorced parents doesn’t necessarily mean a person has “daddy issues” though. If she actually had a complex, that’s one thing, but if it was just an awkward situation at her house that’s another. If your aiming to be “alpha”, what’s keeping you from taking her literally anywhere else to spend quality time? Maybe you were blessed with a better family situation and could have spent time at your place instead?
@@buffaloalice8413 her mom blamed everything on her dad, and then dumped that on their kids. This ex eventually developed the “all men” way of thinking.
Trust me, I tried to have this ex move in with me, but she was very attached to her mom & didn’t want to leave her with the dad. It was a lot to untangle, and only she could do it. Not me.
In short, the nature of her parents relationship shaped how she viewed men, which was negatively.
@@AG-rc2np At least you recognized that. My issue is that people have started to assume that everyone with divorced parents develops "mommy or daddy issues" when that's simply not the case. Of course it happens, but I would rather people look at the situation as a whole. It's like with the whole birth order thing. It has been largely debunked as a strong indicator of outcomes, when in fact, it's likely a multitude of factors. For instance, I had divorced parents. However, because my mom kept the negative talk about my dad to an absolute minimum, and I was surrounded by strong male role models in my extended family and friend circle, I turned out pretty darn OK, I think. And I am happy to report that I don't hate men (in fact I like them quite a lot). You could argue that people like me may be an exception to the stereotype, but that doesn't negate the fact that a whole swath of men and women that bucked the trend are getting lumped in with everyone else.
While I can appreciate that people like the ease and convenience of have rules and lists like this, I think there is a danger to it that creates over generalization and a tendency for people to avoid a potential partner, simply because all the boxes aren't checked. It's almost the same thing the feminists are doing in their videos. Anyway, that was my long winded thought. Hope you are in a better, happier situation.
@@buffaloalice8413 I actually agree with you. It is thrown around quite a bit in a way to subscribe blame.. which I’m not blaming my ex for growing up the way she did. Ultimately, her parents failed to model a healthy relationship.
I’m with you, these situations often times have far more nuance, and can’t be simply explained with lists.
The relationship between your in law can change and the shit hit the fan
I love when videos direct my awareness to novelty and you did that with the section on birth order at 07:28 and possible compatibilities.
Don't know enough about birth order to say whether I agree or not but it was really good to have a flashlight in that direction...something to look out for.👍🏾
My ex, her father committed suicide when she was 12 and she said that her parents argued almost everyday for 2 years.
At the time, I just thought that she had a tough start to life. None of it was her fault.
But as I have became more educated with dating /vetting and relationships, mental heath I have learnt that these things REALLY have an impact on a person's development. And it's really serious.
Don't get me wrong, I made some mistakes in that relationship and since I have spent time on self development. But I feel that I done a lot more right than wrong. When things were going well, she would mess things up.
I believe this is because being loved and happy isn't normal to her. Normal is chaos to her.
Honestly guys, this is so important because if you're learning these things mid relationship with someone who shows consistent signs of BPD or NPD it's very tough to leave when you're emotionally attached.
But you have to. Because only she can fix herself and if they cannot take accountability for why they behave the way they do, they will never seek the correct help.
Pick wisely.
Man, I was in the almost exactly the same boat as you, and I have came to exactly the same conclusions as you. Your conclusions are the exact precise truth.
@@davidmiletic6647 it's tough, I could fill an entire podcast with the experiences I have had with her. And the truth is, it's my fault. Because I saw the signs and the red flags but I tried to ignore them. Probably because I was scared of ending things.
Here is one example. We went to London recently to see one of our favourite bands. We stayed there for a night. We had a great day travelling there, great day when we got there and the gig was incredible. We had incredible sex that night.
The next day, we walked around London, nice lunch and a few bars. We travelled home and had a nice meal at home with more incredible sex.
Sunday, we had another great day.
On the Monday, she told me that it was the greatest weekend she has ever had on Earth. Big compliment! So that obviously means I was doing alot of things right and she felt heard and understood.
On Tuesday night, I came down from having a shower and she pulled out an old phone of mine that hasn't been switched on since 2019!
She had to charge the phone to switch it on. She knew my password and swooped through it and find a photo of my ex.
She went ballistic! Saying that I kept that photo to look at because I was still on love with her.
It was an old IPhone and it said on the screen that the phone hasn't been backed up for hundreds and hundreds of days.
My point is, SHE said it was the best weekend she had and she done that meaning that when things are going well, she becomes nervous as this is not normal to her.
Things like this happened all the time. Be great for a few days and we are both happy. The next day, she would find someone to sabotage.
Honestly, I have had 3 LTRs. My first relationship lasted 11 years, the second was 3 years and the last one 41/2.
The one that lasted the longest was my first girlfriend and she was so easy going, laid back and just easy to get on with. A pleasure to be with.
The other two, not so much.
What separated them? The girl I was with for 11 years DID NOT come from a broken home. She respected her father. My second girlfriend didn't but the Dad was very beta. And was simply a pleaser and the Mum and daughters did not respect him.
I am 40 this year and as I explained, I have had many years in relationships. And only over the last couple of years I discovered Corey Wayne, Rich Cooper etc.
And this subject should really be taught in schools because its that important.
Schools should be helping children who's parents have broken up to give them support as it truly effects the mind and its development due to increased levels of cortisol being released and it prevents the brain from developing correctly. This is how BPD, NPD and many other personality disorders are created.
8:16 finally!!!!! Someone who understands the UK divorce laws. In the UK you will not lose 50% in divorce if there are kids. I lost 70% of my money and assets, including my house, in my UK divorce (my wife earned more than me and we only had 1 kid, the judge was female). However, even in US, the husband loses 70% once you add on legal fees and alimony. If there is a $100k marital pot (that gets split 50-50) but the judge orders 10k lump sum alimony and 10k legal fees to the wife that's 70-30.
The one with first born, last born is really funny one. I’m the oldest of 4 kids, my wife is last born of 4 kids. We have been together for 19 years and it’s great. We were both virgins when we met, so the bond is very strong. My wife has no interest in other men what so ever, no red flags and just a pleasant person to be around. As the oldest, I’m always the concerned one, my wife as the last is kids and takes things lightly, always positive 😊
This content is gold!! If only this was around when I was younger haha
As an hispanic I’ll tell you, you marry her family and how she behaves in family is how she’ll behave with you
I am not hispanic but I am a latin woman and I agree. You have to look to how the person behaves around their own family
I've found last born to be the immature/baby type
That's a fact!!
First time I’ve heard Rich bring up the parents. I remember my young relationship (girlfriends) parents (mother) openly arguing with each other about money loudly in the next room. One night I had band practice and showed up late. Her mother put her up to and motivated her to get loud and impetuous with me when I showed up. Mom was literally hovering around in the hall way. I was astounded 😳 She was only 17 then. We’re both in our 50’s now. Needless to say I moved on but I heard through 3 degree friends she’s been divorced twice.
So true about her family. Before meeting the family, I ask what does your father like to do? The best situation I ever had was that her father liked to play golf. I had an immediate common interest with him. We got along great.
Same. My wife and her family loved sailing. Me too. I went long distance yachting several times with her Dad. Common interests really work out well.
I had it easy the mother in law thought that the sun shone from my arse I could do no wrong, made it easy to lead & just be the alpha
Don't agree with the birth order but he's dead on with everything else. I'd also add you're not just looking at the mother and father's relationship, you're also looking at the uncles, aunts etc. Is this a family unit that stays with each other? I think if she grows up in a blue collar household, even better. They appreciate everything you do for them vs rich daddy's girl.
I was a middle child, and I married a middle child. So glad that I did, my wife's older and younger siblings were so different, not in a good way.
The middle child/children tend to be the most overlooked. In other words not boss babe or spoiled princess. They are generally the safest bet.
This was some extra mumbo jumbo ..usually i admire his acumen but he’s drinking a bit too much of his own kool aid
I agree, the birth order thing is on par with astrology IMO. I also agree with looking at the extended family. My dad walked out and the situation was not a good representation of what we often see going on today. The relationship was not one that was safe or healthy to have with a father. My relationship with my grandfather and my uncles was excellent though.
@@buffaloalice8413 How can birth order not be relevant? Of course it is relevant.
Lol simps ruin everything.
Something tells me at one time in your life you were a simp of some form.
facts man
Unfortunately simps and women vote
Genuinely enjoyed this , really logical takes , nothing super bait to get clicks , learned something watching this
The red flags apply to both men and women.
Men have many different red flags.
Sage and sharp. We need to hear this. Great job!
Great advices! Specifically about her family
Some real gems here, Rich. Thanks!
Some celebrity I saw on Johnny Carson said, if she has a little brother, she's going to treat you the way she treats him when she's got you barried (Oops, married).
I've seen it in my own experience too.
Absolutely superb advice again. Really interesting the subject of first and last born, something I had really overlooked to be honest. Thank you 🙏🏻
I have been with a woman for 15 years . I have nothing to do with her sister , nothing to do with her mother , her father has passed away before we met . She has nothing to do with my brothers or my parents but we have a very strong relationship so that kind of blows your theory out of the water there .
What absolute rubbish. I have integrity. I can be held accountable I m a very honest person. Single at the moment, anyone in my so called dms are not exactly meaningful in my life. If I meet someone and we make commitment contact with other males cease. It's just as simple as that. Don't be paranoid. Most woman just want one man. Well I do anyway. Finding a man who wants the same would be nice.
Data doesn’t back that claim up.
@urbansurvivor360 exceptions does not disprove the rule. your comment means NOTHING. try again foid.
That's what I used to think too until it happened to myself and multiple close friends. All of us thought it was no big deal
Marriage is a racket
It’s a perfectly constructed mechanism for women to lure a high flyer into their Venus trap and when she fancies someone else she can take all his money with her and he can start again.
No upsides for men though, that should be clearly stated, but clearly given the number of men going to slaughter they are not in the know.
Long term vision, planning, and logistics the woman must defer to the man without hesitation. She must trust him like a child does a parent, or else it can never work. Little day to day random things are what negotiations' for. Like what movie to see or which restaurant to eat at beforehand. Negotiation isn't even the right word. Lighthearted discussion is a better way of putting it. And this is only for folks who've been married for a while. If you're just dating then the man should ALWAYS decide which entertainment options will be used. A woman isn't happy to go along wherever he wants should be nexted immediately.
Jordan Peterson talks about vetting but indirectly and not extensively. He basically says to stay away from obviously unhinged women....but nothing more than that.
Which is probably wiser. This is just over the top. Painting this broadly severely limits your options, and well, I think we see how well that’s working out for all of the boss women who want a 6’2” brain surgeon who drives a Maserati and vacations in the French Riviera.
Better yet, don't marry at all!
You don't hear this enough: broad direction alignment is critical in a relationship - basic commonality, common direction. Cheers for the podcast
Any man or woman that doesn't hold themselves accountable should be avoided at all costs. Took me years to learn this. Run.
✈️ Passport Bros is a illusion 🙄where ever you go in the world, YOU will be there with all your issues☹️
Imagine living in a country with tens of millions of women and having to run away to another country to find one that will submit to your leadership lol
Passport bros are weird af imo
Arigato from Japan Richard sensei ! Gaijin TV
The birth order part is wrong. There's conflicting data about it. Deciding anything based on that would be a huge mistake. The rest is true.
Motherstock? My goodness
Only if your pursuing "husbandstock", I suppose. Maybe a poor choice of words to make his point, I agree.
is he wrong? :)
Embarrassing
Ok fine no bachelor but can she watch rich cooper unplugged? 😂
The firstborn/ last born sounds like some astrology ish 😂
Exactly!
Don’t go into dating looking for a wife or good mother material. Don’t lead with your wallet either. This is horrible advice. You’re not vetting, you’re enforcing boundaries. Enforcing boundaries never ends. You don’t “vet” for motherstock. This is so blue pill.
What if your goal is to have a children within an intact family unit? Don’t you have to vet to find a woman who is a good mother?
I think it’s ok to date knowing your looking for a spouse, but 100% agree, the “motherstock” thing is so cringeworthy. We aren’t dogs or cattle. 🤬 The more I watch of this dude, the less impressed I am.
This is the most gay comment I have ever seen
@@dwellner502 why are you on a first date getting a woman for motherstock. A woman will wear a mask for the first 2 years and have you believing she’s a prude. Then you’ll put a ring on it. Then you find out the whole time you got played and hence the divorce rate. You don’t vet, you enforce boundaries. “Is she acting right?”, Not - “is she wearing the right mask and manipulating me properly?”
Red flag: A male that is constantly appraising/criticizing women 🚩
Criticising change it to understanding
Some of this stuff is good, obvious but good. But you’re gonna worry about birth order, gtf outta here, there are so many relevant factors to vet for
Rich, stop misleading dudes into thinking women are looking for committed relationships and out for the needs of men, such a thing DOES NOT exist. Women will only enter into a relationship if it favours her first and foremost, period...no matter how committed they seem, its only because they are on the take.
Men are in love, women are in business.
What about Women who were adopted?
3:28 don’t you like a cozy decorated house….🤣🙅🏻♀️I can’t get with a guy that has red car seats 💺 just can’t have him spend that much money 💴 😂 jk
Plenty of dresses and heels in her closets are a Good sign 🤣
My man drinking some Borjomi 👌
Where is podcast link?
I'm surprised he missed out the main good sign in a wife - being devoutly religious, especially if she puts it into action by going to church every Sunday.
He did mention religion as being good to have in common, but that was to do with family. It's the biggest green flag on its own.
Being religious is a HUGE red flag in countries that are predominantly atheist such as my country, Korea.
My last gf attended church regularly. She still routine rode the cc. Their is little difference between secular and religious nowadays. Only difference is the "culturally Christian" girl will make you work hard and longer for the same mediocre results.
Not necessarily. Lots of hypocrites going to church.
@@gbunag3 The statistics speak for themselves
@@jamesballard6564 But why did you break up? Having a past of riding the CC shouldn't be a dealbreaker, if that was the reason. If she's willing to pray with you and do the spiritual work in reversing the CCs psychological effects, a woman deserves forgiveness.
To Rich's model:
Well, I carry the cheekbones of my mother and nothing else. She's 5' short and stout. Anti social and liberal. Doesn't do anything to maintain her health food or exercise wise.
I'm 5'11", athletic/slim, hourglass and look nothing like my dad who's 5'8" and obese. He's also liberal. I'm conservative.
My dad is emotionally unavailable and would rather socialize with his neighbor than hang out with me.
Do I have Daddy issues? NO.
I've found positive Dad and female role models in an older, wiser more old fashioned dear friends.
Guesd Rich's model is out the window. 🤷
Oh and I'm 41 and own my house and lead a peaceful joy filled life. Looking to share it with someone worth having. ❤️
And your bio dad is……..
How do you really know how many guys she has slept with? I mean you can ask straight up, but I don’t think they will tell the truth really
Find a woman with so much integrity and you won’t have to question it
@@reagan2512 Totally Agree.
The number doesn't matter as much as the inevitable loss of femininity and innocence that comes with having multiple partners. I've seen many girls with only a few men in their past act more callous and entitled than women with 10+. You can see it in her eyes and in the way she interacts with you and other men, if she's lost her shyness then she's too far gone.
I think that men should stop looking for underachievers. Fellas-- if you know how you want to live, then find somebody who has that way in common with you.
For example-- if you want to live a minimalist life with nothing in your house, then find a woman who is well-established and lives that way too.
Don't go for a woman to depend on your financial support and then expect her to go along with you not spending any money on her. Instead, go for a woman who doesn't need your money and also lives minimalist.
In other words-- I think that men get themselves caught up in the desire to be needed. They want to be needed and then object to doing much if anything at all for their dependent woman who needs them.
Sensible advice, but too late for me. I'm a minimalist married to a horader over 30 years married now. We just learned to accomodate each other.
@@bradsalz4084 😆
I’m the only child but I’m 100% like the first born with siblings
My wife is first child with 4 siblings
We seem to get along so far
Knock on wood
You wife being first child, she's not bossy or demanding? If she's not, you got a unicorn as long as she maintains that.
I'm a last-born by 13 years (and my mom's only) and I'm way closer to only-child than first-born in terms of traits.
I cannot believe how ridiculous it is that people are making a living out of coaching and advising men and women on dating, finding a mate etc. what the hell is wrong with the younger generations, hand holding on the basic competencies of life. We are doomed.
The firstborn thing is astrology-tier social theory, lmfao
I mean fark it. Who the hell is even thinking of marriage. For serious.... There sre none. Like not even .01% ITS NOT THERE. ITS APOCALYPSE.
My ideas on this subject always get deleted... idk
what about girl who has 4 bigger sisters and oldest sister is 17 years older :D
Right on, Rich. Birth order IS important
Insightful knowledge but the whole thing about birth order sounds like the male equivalent of zodiac sign gobbledygook
That's actually what I thought as well. I do get that people like to categorize everything, and sometimes, based on their unique experiences, they'll spot strange patterns and the categories will be very odd. But this definitely gave me the "I am a Capricorn, and I NEVER had a good time with Leos. If you are a Capricorn, NEVER go for Leos" vibes 😂
Parents get better or worse each child, that makes a huge difference on birth years.
Do you guys consider a body count of "12" at age 33 high?
Red flag: no energy, , no libido. What I enjoyed doing she passed on them. BD father daughter relationship. Other than that great family and great sister in-law. After 32 years together and two adult married children we are getting divorced. The attraction and intimacy died years ago . Bring a roommate is not for me
What if i have kids, she doesn't have kids and doesn't want kids?
I ran into a gent at a local building center store who was loading some sort of white woodwork trim. There were two beautiful Harley Davidson motorcycles parked next to him that he was admiring. His face was bathed in that moment of "what if" that married men with a "to-do" list very seldom put on.
I got out of my car (1995 Buick Roadmaster with 36,000 original on it) and he says: "Nice car." I replied: "I'm not married. I could have bought a black one too. I'll bet these guys (pointing to the bikes) aren't married either. You seem to have a to-do list somewhere on your person." He replies: "It never ends..."
Poor sumbitch.
what about getting into relationships in your 50’s? this goes for both men and women.
Finding a good mother stock woman here in the west is as hard as finding the Holy Grail signed by Jesus himself 😂
If a women is not promiscuous and trust your leadership.
Rest everything can be ignored
We are all in different
Regards,
I just got married (for the second time) this weekend! Lol…6 year vetting period with a 1 year engagement. I’m 51 and she’s 26 so we’ve been together since she was barely 20. I was lucky enough to snag her before modernity corrupted her. She’s converting to Catholicism now and we’re planning on many children and a house in the country!
Eww.. creepy
@@Sunshine-uk7yo Why are you criticizing a woman's preference for an older male who will be a good provider over a young man who is immature?
@@KamranPasha72she was “barely 20” when they met, a teenager. This is predatory behavior and extremely problematic.
I have seen deluded guys like you before brought to their knees when reality of the age gap kicks in .
Nobody is shacking up with all these guidelines. Lol
Jordan Peterson needs to stay in his lane… and intimate relationships ain’t it
You are crazy 😂
Deaf, mute, nymphomaniac,…. What’s the forth?
B😂😂bs
Who should be the leader in a relationship? Man or woman? If you say woman, why do women find submissive men repulsive? Why are the male heroes of romance novels sexy and domineering? Why is 50 Shades of Grey a bestseller among women? This is is what women want.
R. I. P. Kevin…
Motherstock? WTF? Are we cattle?
Only if your pursuing "husbandstock", I suppose. Maybe a poor choice of words to make his point, I agree.
@@bradsalz4084 Where can I order "Husbandstock?" 🤣
My Uncle always said women were funny cattle
Basically you need to marry out of your birth order. So don’t marry anyone who is the same birth order as you.
Stay single gents. Get a Fleshlight and get on with your life. Problem solved.
Fleshlight? What a loser mentality
Kevin Leahman is cool.
Here's one that is seldom discussed...if you have one of your young children DIE will you donate organs....wow, my 5 month old son had a serious heart condition that almost took his life...and me and my wife at the time went the rounds on this topic, me, not wanting to donate...needless to say a year after his recovery we divorced..this wasn't the only reason, but it was a HOTTLY charged topic
You would not donate to save your sons life? She was in the right to divorce you bud.
@davidmiletic6647 no, she wanted to turn out sons body over if HE died...big difference.
@@duanedahl8856 oh I understand now. But still, if your soon is doomed to die, (if and) once he passes away, why would you not save another baby or two?
I am aware though, that if the doctors know you will donate your sons organs, the likelyhood of your son dying is definately increased.
THIS is your leader? Come on, fellas. Do better.
Interesting how humans take advice from other humans instead of God who by the way created the marriage arrangement.
Yea rich is not smart
Oh yea? tell me how this god of yours has forgotten about the men that have been absolutely DEVASTATED by the glorious option of divorce BY WOMEN (our other half right? ).
@@terrodar19 You cannot apply God’s standards from the Bible in this world and expect miracles. Or you follow God’s path completely or you follow this world’s rules.
@@bolotabr12yeah the Bible explains it all but that would require reading and discernment which most men don’t do especially when they are getting hawk tuah spit on that thing.
There is no god, or at least zero proof of one, especially the Jewish mythological god you are referring to. And people were getting married long before the Torah was written.
Come on Rich , nonsense
I thought the red pill manosphere did not advocate marriage. Rich has explicitly told young men NOT to get married. According to his philosophy, marriage is only for women, and men should "spin plates" or secure an "LTR," but be careful to not allow that situation-ship to mimic legal marriage or else.
so this video should cause you some cognitive dissonance. Just update your knowledge and move on.
It doesn't advocate or discourage marriage (depends on the creator), but lots of RP creators acknowledge many guys are relationship-minded and will cater advice to those guys.
@@unpluggedvip375 Move on? What are you talking about? The RP community and Rich Cooper, specifically, instruct young men not to get married. So, why provide marital advice? Rich's whole philosophy is contradictory and therefore should be questioned (and subsequently discarded).
@@liverfailure1597 The Red Pill tells men not to get legally married. In their philosophy, "relationship-minded" men should settle for an "LTR." Do some research on red pill talking points.
I guess twins would both be first born.
I haven’t found one girl that qualifies. Not even close. Oh well
You gotta stop going to the strip club😂😂
If you’re a man coming from a place of control and fear, a woman will smell this instantly, resent you and rebel. Sorry to the fellas who think their wife is going to submit to that.
Who should be the submissive one in the relationship. then? Men? Strangely, women find submissive men unattractive, Somebody has to be the leader in a relationship. You can't be an Alpha Female and expect to be with an Alpha Male.
God is in the details .
Jokes on you bud. There isn't 4
7:44 Look I bet this comment won't get pinned or liked, reply and I'll do absolutely NOTHING.
Red flags are subjective to your own values.
No wonder women prefer to be alone
Men can survive alone. Women cannot. Hence cats and working to please their male bosses.
What I would really like ..... Is a man who teaches other men how to be a good boyfriend or husband. Too many guys out there who spend their time being hyper critical of women ...... "21 red flags" 😂😂😂
Does Rich have kids?
Yes, a daughtet.
Avoid me who are constantly moaning about woman, who appear bitter and obviously live on their own 😅😅