How To Stand Up For Yourself Without Being Rude | | CONFIDENCE COACH, DR. AZIZ
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2024
- SocialConfiden... Dr. Aziz, Confidence Coaching
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Topics covered in this video:
dr. aziz, confidence coach, build confidence, increase self-confidence, overcome social anxiety, overcome shyness, get more confidence, confidence tips, life coach, how to be confident, positivity, attitude, self-esteem, zizard411
#DrAziz #ConfidenceCoach #SocialAnxiety
I told my bully of a boss this week to stop talking to me like a peice of shit after years of verbal abuse and i've never felt more empowered. Loved it. He now ignores me. Pathetic weakling.
Thank you for sharing! I have a tendency to be so passive that it builds up over time and then when I do stand up for myself it can be way to aggressive. I didn't even know there was something in between passive and aggressive. I'm really glad I found this channel. Thank you again!
You are so welcome!
I'm exactly the same. Likewise I didn't realise there was an in between
I do the same.. thanks for the video
GOLDEN WORDS: "guilt means you broke a rule" I felt that in my core.
How did it feel?
@@GetMoreConfidence it felt painfully relieving if that makes any sense! After hearing you say that I realized most of the guilt and fear I was holding onto for trying to be confident stemmed from me “breaking a rule” of always making sure to be submissive and a pushover because the world is always right kind of mentality that I was primed since childhood to believe. Thank you for your amazing videos of enlightenment! I’m starting to act more like my true inner self as I practice in my daily life the advice you give in your videos and it feels SOOOO relieving to experience that feeling for once in my life!! THANK YOUUU
When it comes to racism, l use words that may sound harsh but facts. I feel guilty because l am always ran over. Just because you feel guilty doesn't mean you broke a rule.
Everything in life is practice, practice and more practice! Just like any skill, like learning how to play a musical instrument.
Decided to speak up to a bully and Nippet in the bud as I’m at a new job. I did it respectfully and even though she tried to gaslight me and be overly nice about it it doesn’t matter. At least she knows that I’m not gonna take it and will call her on. It felt great. The other alternative is to let it fester and make my life miserable. I’m not doing that anymore.
I always wish that I have that one trait of Sociopath or Narcissist have which is confidence. Well, they lack empathy. If only we forgot about empathy when speaking up for ourselves without disrespecting others.
I have confidence and Is empathy
I have this problem that happens at work, school, even places and I'm learning that. There's times I'm tired of caring and being so kindhearted at times. I act tough but deep down I'm sensitive.
The fact that you have to stand up for yourself means that someone has been rude to you. They asked for it if you cross the line too
Thank you for sharing.
Facts
I like it
Thank you for this❤️grew up in toxic family, learned to walk on eggshells from a very young age. Has resulted in me becoming passive as an adult, no one ever taught me how to stand up for myself. Working on myself, but still quite a people pleaser.
A lot of people who have narcissistic parents have a lot to do with why most people have a hard time speaking up
Informative, but lately life has been teaching me to deal with a situation the way it is. If I need to be assertive , I be assertive. If I need to be rude and aggressive, then I will be that. I have been stepped on so many times, and moving forward I have decided to always stand up for myself in whatever way. Be so good at reading the energies and vibes! Know when to walk away, when to be assertive and, when to be rude!!
This is me 💚💚💚
I need to keep watching the rest of videos. I was very inappropriately harassed by my direct supervisor in front of a coworker & I stood up for myself, called her selfish & said she doesn't care about others. I yelled, b/c I felt I was being attacked! I usually can keep it together. Rudeness & inappropriate comments usually don't get me, but THIS had me triggered
I'm passive to a point of aggressive and I need to create a balance of assertiveness. It creates self love and O know that as sometimes I do balance correctly.
Being assertive is a win win situation ,agreed
RIP, I am super passive and then passive aggressive lol. I practice saying "no" to people days before I actually have to. When it comes time to say "no," I say (with fake enthusiasm), "sure."
Then I resent the other person and try to avoid them.
Apparently, I also have lots of keyboard courage.
*Feels bad man
Check out my book dedicated to this topic: NotNiceBook.com
Thank you very much for the useful tips , I really like watching your videos. I have spent my whole life trying to please people , and what I have noticed is that whenever I hide my feelings and do not say what I wanted to say to someone , this causes a kind of tension between me and that person . I feel stressed and like there is barrier between me and that person . This is why I think trying to please people in order not to make them angry and not to lose them , will lead to tension in the relationship with them, and in the long run we will lose them.
You're very welcome!
You nailed it. My mother's training of manners combined with control with "others opinions first" makes it difficult to stand up for anything.
So many of our daily challenges goes back to our childhood, doesn't it?
I'm semi-sweet and direct with confidence when i speak to toxic energy vampires 😂. It works!! Thank you for your wonderful video sir❤
Assertiveness works really well with reasonable people , a lot of people are unreasonable that's where I get into troubles , still trying to figure out when to walk away and when to engage , it's a challenge when I assert myself the other party doubles down thru verbal aggression or physical threats or the other version is being totally dismissed thru ridicule or being ignored .
I have noticed that phylosophy and psychology keeps failing me when I try to put some principles into practice .
The other day,
I had a leasing agent speak down to me, when I asked for the regional managers number, she said, “why do you need that, what do you want from us” as if I’m not allowed to call as a tenant or as if I’m bothering someone. I literally cried but she was honestly rude over the phone so I looked up the regional managers number myself and called her. Long story short they notified the employee of her behavior.
I felt horrible afterwards, I questioned myself 1,000 as to whether I was being over dramatic but it’s like I have no sense of self or right and wrong I’m so hard on myself is there a name for that? Is that something I can work on & how? Also that was my first time standing up for myself and I hated it because now I’ve caused more drama but I would have been even more resentful if I never said anything
😢
Don't be sad, you did the right thing. Keep up the great work!
Using I statements is helpful too.
I agree Bonita, I statements are great, Aziz is awesome!
Glad that works for you!
Thank you Dr. Aziz! Your video topics are always timely!
Glad you like them!
3:37 what if _you_ think you’re standing up for yourself, but the _other_ person thinks you’re rude, & blames _you_ for the situation?
Than they are toxic and they are trying to manipulate you to stay the same
Thanks for this i am physically disabled and I find it hard to stand up for myself however i am turning 18 soon and I needed to learn how to be assertive thanks for this video.
I am so passive. I come home every day just cursing myself why i dont speak up!! It hurts
Thanks.. I've saved this video so I can watch it as many times as needed on my assertiveness journey
I've noticed everyone always enjoyed me before.
No I'm finding people not liking what I say? I find myself removing my posts due to it.
I guess that means growth I just need to do this in person more so
Can you elaborate on this and give me some more detail?
Awesome tips again! Being assertive is much for comfortable and win win situation in all level of life. Thank you Dr. Aziz for sharing.
Absolutely!
This is what I always believed, even though it is hard not to be rude when the other side is.
THANK YOU!!
You're welcome!
Your email id?
But how do you interact with someone who isn’t emotionally mature to even sit down and be levelheaded. I’m extremely levelheaded but I often interact with people who are painfully aggressive about a situation for the sake of trying to get their way.
I agree however, You can't be "nice" about it sometimes.
Great video, thank you for sharing. Something that has helped me specifically is the 60 minute rule. This doesn't apply to every situation however it does help me. I a feel I need to speak up and set boundaries I usually use 30 minutes to calm myself to a logical thought process and 30 minutes to practice my approach. Once you voice your opinion with an open mind to someone and resolve a conflict you will pretty quickly learn it's not that difficult and soon you will be able to address issues as they come which in turn will build self confidence and open up a whole new world.
These videos are helpful. I've been working on this a lot. I've noticed that the more I learn to be assertive, as I get past the sense of guilt, I feel less offended when others are assertive with me.
At this stage of my life, I don't feel it's neccessary to avoid "being rude" while standing up for myself. The rude ones are the people who have insulted, me, my family, my home decor, my body, my hair, my sexuality. The snide comments. The eye rolls. The deep heavy sighs of disgust. I took it all like a champ and never reacted at all. Didn't want to rock the boat. Big mistake. From now on when anyone gives me that sort of treatment, I am going to give it right back to them immediately and match their energy. If they want to know what rude is..............I'll show them what I can do!
Wow, such a great video 🙌🏼 been reading and looking up information about this topic and this was one of the best responses I’ve seen. Thank You
Thank you for this! Bless you!
You're so welcome!
@@GetMoreConfidence :D
Thank you, I needed this right now!
thank you I have applied some of your recommendations in others of your videos and i will apply those ones in this video too. Your tips are very helpful
Keep at it W! Thanks for these recommendations!
Glad it was helpful!
Sometimes I can’t find clear words just to ask them to back off , like I ran out of vocabulary
This was so helpful thank you 🙏
Please continue making videos ❤
You bet!
Very helpful video ❤❤❤❤
Hey Dr Aziz, which book is better for improving social anxiety? Not nice or the social anxiety cure? I am asking because I saw that book 2 is older than book 1.
They all have their own focus. Why don't you start with my free e-book you can get here: www.socialconfidencecenter.com
I did it so much for my daughter, who has autism and epilepsy. I'll pick and choose which ones
Please, God, and please send us an angel on earth. We have a lot of love to give
Amen...
nice beard dude
Thanks!
There is an unspoken rule that you're not supposed to say anything when someone wrongs you. There's too many rules when it comes to standing up for yourself.
Cool
You said examples for passive, and then aggressive, and then assertive, but you forgot to show an example of passive aggressive. I was hoping you would include that one as well since there is a lot of reference to that response in everyday life.
passive aggressive is ignoring others or agreeing to do something yet not intending to do it …getting the other to be frustrated instead of speaking up what’s bothering you
If an employee is constantly missing the mark on deliverables, then at some point, you should be labelling them something so you can fire them.
Im mostly aggressive. Even afterwards i regret it.
Do you have a plan to improve upon that?
I read you your Not Nice Book and I Have Question about The The Over Resposiblty Part .
If I said or did Something Rude to Someone and He became upset due To this Do in this Case I am No responsible?
Hey is the book good for social anxiety or is the older book the social anxiety cure better?
All my books come at the topic from different angles. They're all helpful for anyone suffering from social anxiety.
🤟🏻👍🏻🤟🏻👍🏻🤟🏻👍🏻
🤟🏻👍🏻🤟🏻👍🏻🤟🏻👍🏻 :)
so you are saying that instead of telling them: "FUCK YOU, incompetent bastards" I should tell them: "I respectfully disagree". Makes sense even though when you are a nice first in recovers you definitely want to say the first one, I even fantasize about it all the time.
I was ignored for a week and they wouldn't tell me when my hearing was
Man I’m sorry for that since I’m 15 I don’t know what advice to give you but you have my condolences
YES🩷
My friend works for me. He is naturally lazy. Always needs breaks to clear his head while others are working. Is offended by or ignores criticism no matter how well placed and always tying to invent easier ways to do things. Its like hes intentionally deaf or needs to argue why he has to do what everyone else is doing a different way. Hes a close friend and i would like to not fire him. Any job hes had hes late, hes slow and confused and stoned. .. stoned to not get aggravated that hes forcing himself to do something... geeze sounds like a deadweight lol
I know it's difficult, but it's YOUR business and YOUR livelihood. You may wish to think about measuring his performance in the same way you would with any employee.
He is not respecting his job, your friendship or your business..he does not care clearly….maybe ask him to work part time or give him set goals…if he can’t meet deadlines…you will have black and white proof that he is not bothered….i would warm him and of he does not improve …what loss it would be ?
Apparently that makes you a narcissist
but what if people talked shit about you? kkk
As terrible as that is I think the concept still applies.