Narcissism, Dark Triad, And Victim Complex - What Do They Have In Common?
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- Опубліковано 26 лют 2023
- Recent research has shown how people with The Dark Triad personality traits of Narcissism, Psychopathy and Machiavellianism are more likely to claim, exploit and sometimes weaponise victimhood in order to avoid accountability, seek attention or resources from others.
The Dark Tetrad has a fourth trait of sadism, and this is characterised by getting pleasure form the misery and pain of others, often leading to the weaponising of victimhood.
This video looks at how and why dark empaths, people with Dark Personality traits both victim and virtue signal, becoming virtuous victims in order to control and dominate others. Part Two of the video will explore how and why it seems to work so well for narcissists who play the victim.
'Signalling Virtuous Victimhood as indicators of Dark Personality' psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-4...
'Aggression as a Trait'
www.sciencedirect.com/science...
Part Two of this video: • Narcissists and Victim...
Other Videos you might find interesting:
Nine Traits of the Dark Personality • Nine Signs of The Dark...
Internet Trolls and Dark Personality • The Dark Personality o...
The Dark Empath • The Dark Empath
The Dark Triad • The Dark Triad
If you need support for being abused there are some helpful links below.
mensallianceni.co.uk/
belfastwomensaid.org.uk/
www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-...
jreidtherapy.com/narcissistic...
Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos in the comment section.
If you found this video interesting please consider supporting me on Patreon
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#darkpersonaility #victimhood #narcissisticabuseawareness
The ex very dark narc played the victim after I escaped. The smear campaign is certainly part of it when they switch roles and hammer the real victim by claiming the victim was the abuser. It is truly sickening behaviour and destroys their target in the eyes of others. They are so very convincing. I am looking forward to your next video Darren!
My experience you are not alone .
Glad you escaped! My sibling treated their partner in the very same way ...i pitied the latter.... They didn't deserve the treatment they received. My sibling can rot in hell for all i care ..
@@DrMoorehen it is soul-destroying. They are demonic. They are already in hell and that is where they come from.
I have told my story to professionals/therapists and I feel I am believed but this doesn't give me any lasting positive feeling. A big reason I'm still half sane is because of kind people like you uploading videos like this explaining what's going on. Thanks for sharing what you have learned.
Thank God for these non licensed therapist because I saw these people 20 years ago when I was going through some obvious stuff and they were trying this "I'm okay you're okay everyone's okay" bunch of nonsense. (I don't need doctors but I need a war room to tell me that it was obvious an ex-girlfriend was avoiding me years later and I needed to move on... So I moved on to a different shrink to get permission just to do what I least want to do which is to not call her every two weeks and get excuses to not see me with polite smiles)
Nail on the head, every word.
Spot on Darren. So many things you have said resonate with me and these are the things the narcisists and other dark personalities do. They are often sadistic and claim to be on a moral crussade to convert the infidels and then they are the victims who suffer badly in the process of going into all the effort in administering the due punishment. These abusive people are truly evil-driven and they just operate from a total unawareness of how much pain and suffering they are causing. Staying away from them is vital. Thank you Darren. ❤
The aging covert narcissist in my family just discarded one of my siblings who now knows what was done to me. The John Bradshaw mobile is just a spinnin'. I'm so glad I've been distanced enough for a few years now that I'm not in the thick of it. 😎
It's amazing how well this also describes certain political movements.
crossed my mind also
Wokeness
My mother was always the victim. Often she would call her family and bemoan how horrible I was to her any time I didn't jump to do what she wanted. The first time she did that then I overheard her telling the person on the other end about how I was being defiant (omitting that I was protesting her wanting me to pick up after my sister), when I vocalized that that wasn't what had happened (loud enough to be heard by the person on the other end) she ended the conversation and "spanked" me for interrupting her conversation. I was bruised for several days after that, but it was enough to ensure that she could say whatever she wanted about me in the future without worrying about being called out. **Edit to add: I was about 6 years old when that incident happened**
I actually had conveniently forgotten about that first time ... I know there are a lot of memories that I have blocked out through the years, some of them come back but more often I get a reaction without knowing why.
Mine was hell bent on destroying me, and she pretty much succeeded. But it’s the damage she did to my children that I can never forgive. Today I know who I am; but, she discredited me so severely in the eyes of the world, I am but a living shadow.
In the end it was the flying monkeys that did the most damage and perpetrated her tyranny.
@@MsK-xm7vw I feel for you so much, I finally found a voice after my son was born, even though I still have a difficult time speaking up for myself, I was a champion for him and refused to allow him to suffer the same abuse that I did.
I wish you the strength moving forward, and that your inner fire burns bright becoming the driving force to propel you to live an amazing life.
I'd also remind viewers that the virtuous victimhood can be outright lies too. Just because someone cries victimhood does not mean it's true. I've seen it so many times online in smear campaigns against people narcs are envious of. They'll make up some accusations and throw them at the target, then get a big group of other bullies to attack the victim. It's very much bullying masquerading as social justice. It's evil and exploitative.
Well said. 👍👍👍
Wow, thanks you. This is clear. Why being victim considered a power. I've been confused with this type of power. Because normal victim feel powerless. Victim is the passive side.
I see now the dark one feel power because they get to be the right one. Get the attention, be the important, be the good. And they love to see you being wrong or shame.
Personal experience has led me to regard sadism as a key feature or foundation of all three elements of the Dark Triad.
Excellent vid - I look forward to Part Two.
I can’t agree more the longer and closer you are the more deliberately malicious they become and I’m sure they enjoy it .
This is EXACTLY what happened to me with my ex husband!! Mind blowing to me!!
This is my mother for sure 😭
Narcissists often resort to making empty threats of suicide when their ex-partners decide to leave them after enduring relentless abuse and exploitation. They employ this manipulative tactic to hold their ex-partners accountable and induce feelings of guilt.
I’m going through a divorce from someone who has narcissistic and sadistic traits. And it’s true what I’ve heard: the only thing worse than being married to a narcissist is divorcing one.
I am in a family system where there is so much of what you are talking about. My mother, her husband, my now-ex, and my father to a lesser degree
The other thing i can’t help but think of is how spot on this video is of woke culture.
We are living in an age where these dark personalities are endemic! Very scary actually!
You nailed it! Thank you for clarifying what I have been living through over the past few years. It's like a light bulb going on in my very dark tunnel.
"Callousness, cruelty and vindictiveness disguised as justice" - sounds familiar.
I had a family gathering recently including friends, some of whom I hadn't seen for years. My sister in law laid the groundwork by claiming I'd said my brothers bullied me when I was young. As a result when I arrived I was gawped at relentlessly, ignored when I made the effort to start conversations and of course blamed for ruining the occasion. All despite me never saying that or anything like it. Before the word narcissist came to light we used to call people like that TW*TS.
There is a place this kind of conversation needs to go that no psychologist or therapist (or anyone really) is ever going to take it, because all of us as a society are so indoctrinated toward a certain mindset. Because everyone is so well indoctrinated, everyone participates in reinforcing this mindset in themselves and with each other, and are unlikely to ever realize it. The mindset expresses in a variety of particular ways, such as:
- Nobody is perfect
- Don't judge others (LEST YOU BE JUDGED !!!??!?!?!)
- Who are you to judge anyway?
- You think you are special or something? (Nobody could possibly be "special")
- You think you are better than me/someone/others? (Nobody could possibly be better than anyone else)
- I guess _________ isn't good enough for you (fill in the blank with some kind of misery, deprivation, or mistreatment)
- I guess you are too good for _________ (again, fill in the blank with some kind of misery, deprivation, or mistreatment)
If anyone ever dared to question the legitimacy of this universally agreed-upon religion, they would immediately be met with fierce howls and gnashing of teeth from everyone of all persuasions. You yourself would be seen as being some kind of brazen narcissist, and indeed most people have drunk this koolaid and would never be capable of questioning these things lest they assume the worst of themselves as well.
Here's the thing, though. It really is all completely bogus. It is weaponized by those with ill intent against their victims, potential victims, and decent people generally. And it is the perfect stealth weapon for them, because everyone has drunk the koolaid, and nobody thinks to question it.
Perfection is confused and conflated with intent. Regular people confuse the two, and those with ill intent intentionally conflate the two. Perfection is a measure of how well one carries out their intent. If I am a basketball player and I intend to make 100 shots in a row and I succeed at doing so, then I perfectly executed my plan to make 100 baskets. If I miss some shots, on the other hand, then I am an imperfect basketball player. Someone who seeks to use and abuse others will likely claim they are imperfect, but this is an intentional mischaracterization of the situation. They are not imperfect, they have ill intent.
If you are intelligent and well-meaning, then you absolutely are better than those with ill intentions. Probably the majority of people do not have pure intentions, which would mean you are absolutely objectively "special." You absolutely are "better" than people who seek to use and abuse others, you absolutely are "special" in this way, and you absolutely should use your powers of reason, intellect, and compassion to "judge" those around you to the best of your ability. As an intelligent, well-meaning person, it is your implicit duty in fact to judge the world around you and those in it to the best of your ability. Identify those who seek to use or abuse others, and do whatever is in your power to stop them or help those who might be or become their victim.
And yes, things like misery, deprivation, and mistreatment absolutely are not good enough. Yes, I absolutely am too good for these things. What kind of person are YOU to try to instill in ME the belief that I am selfish, narcissistic, entitled, or foolish to not accept these kinds of circumstances without question and without pushback? What kind of person are YOU to want misery or deprivation for ME?
As an intelligent and decent person with pure intent, you need to OWN this quality. Wear it as a badge of honor. Be proud of this quality in yourself. Don't allow yourself to be shamed into denying it. Don't allow yourself to be indoctrinated and pressured into pretending it is an impossible trait for anyone to have. Don't allow yourself to be swindled into believing it would be narcissistic and scandalous to recognize these qualities in yourself. Dare to speak the unspeakable out loud! I am a good person! I am better than those who seek to use and abuse others! I absolutely will use my intellect and compassion to assess the world around me to the best of my ability! I absolutely am a good person, and I'll even dare to say it out loud in so many words! I am going to own my decency, and I am going to hold you to account if you are the opposite of decent.
Very true....and so glad you stood up for the truth. Thank you for your comments. I've personally thought about these very things & I'm gonna talk about it too. Thank you again!
Nailed it, once again. Agreed!
i mean, words and terminology and official classifications... they have their use cases but ultimately it all comes down to intent. some people have positive genuine intent, probably most people are focused on their own existence without strong intentions towards others one way or another, and some have malicious intent. you know whats true about your own self, and you come to know whats true about those around you
@@Quazgaa They say that narcissism is a healthy trait in developing children. As an adult you need to have some pride / ego (gasp). Everyone has narcissism on a sliding-scale anyways. I consider myself a so-called empath, but doesn't that mean that I can accept unacceptable amounts of someone else's unhealthy/anti-me ego trying to bash me on the sly.
..Sometimes it takes pride, or God forbid some ego - to stand up to an egomaniac trying to sly one over on me or pull out blatant acts of disrespect out of nowhere with a bad excuse for it.
I'm not a troublemaker but I'm not a pacifist either. I can let things slide if not too much, but I'm going to call things out sometimes before they get out of hand at least if the other person does not like my disagreement with them, they and I have the choice to part ways and not be butting heads anymore.
I like your word of the day "INTENT" because that IS what it's all about. At the very least one has to put their antennas towards what's an obvious power play going on even if it's done in a sneaky way or else they're going to keep getting mistreated or abused
wood chipper goes brrr 👍🏻
Yes... this is where the echoism comes in on the part of the victim
Thank you for your videos, Darren. Each one of them brings light in a new spot of our minds
Perfectly explained. My ex narc is exactly that🙏
Looking forward to part 2👍
Thanks Doc for bringing out this scenario that really does exist. Side note I like the paint color behind you.
Hey Mr. Magee, Unfortunately this profiles my Oldest Brother, All of it, Literally Terrorized my birth family, continued with his Need for Control into 60s, He would Literally say," You're either with us or against US like Al Qaeda" referring to his Family. I have no Contact with him at All. One Subject I would request, Siblings who Destroy Families with Good Parents that Planned and were Prepared for Children
My older sister got me kicked out my family even though I've lived 2300 miles away from them for decades in AZ. I only talk to my parents and I no longer talk to my three siblings. GOOD FOR YOU FOR NOT BUYING INTO THEIR bogus anti-AL-QAEDA MENTALITY MANIPULATION. (I did not AND WILL NOT tolerate people's sneaking in transparent games of domination under the form of FAUX concern!)
Very insightful. As someone who has gone through a narcissistic relationship for about 10 years, can say that the quality of the content on this channel is pure gold. I really appreciate your invaluable works, Darren. You're incredible.
Oh, a video about mum!
Unfortunately I inherited pretty much all of her dark traits :)
Truly thankful for your videos.🙏 My ex covert narc is exactly every word you say. He's only 30 and I am older. Hugely exploited & exorted from me and from the 2nd year, I started to feel I was walking on egg shells each day. The blame shifting was insane. I was the most generous & cared so much, but I never knew. His was threatening at the end and says I betrayed him when the gifts and money he asked for arrived late. We are long distance. Once he got it, not a word of thank you but he went and hooked up with a teen busker in Dublin. He has cut me off now and I wonder if he will show this side to this teen?
Seen so many people like this. Online communities are absolutely full of them, especially fandom communities.
So spot on
Yes very true, we can often see that on social media I do agree. :) !
If you're suffering from disorganized attachment, likely leading to Narcissism, don't let people shame & blame you any longer.
Seek attachment-directed interventions with demonstrably high treatment effect size.
ah so that is what can cause narcissistic personality disorder in someone? interesting
@@sun_buddy
Exactly!
NPD is ALWAYS the result of disorganised attachment.
@@87solarsky seems right
The dangers of living with this archetype when you're aware & strong due to being brought up by the same archetype, is you know so well how it goes & you end up feeling so bad because you can't help but wonder what you're doing to attract the same toxic relationship, so you become aware it's something you haven't dealt with correctly & that's why the same narcs turn up over & over via many people.
If you can't work it out or pin point it, that's when it becomes dangerous for both parties, especially if your mentally strong, why ?
BeCause you become them when trying to cope, that's where I'm at, using their tactics as retaliation, but it's exhausting & deep down you know it's ultimately hurting yourself & nobody gets to heal.
So the only thing left to do is search deep inside into why & how you attract this archetype & arrive at the conclusion, like I have, unhealed people( no matter how decent or honest) attract the same rubbish over & over untill you heal & that healing is a inside solo job & that it's ok to be alone.
Victims need an abuser & vice versa, both parties are a result of neglect in one form or another.
So I wouldn't look at myself as a victim because I attracted a narc, I attracted a narc because I have unhealed pain that I'm yet to deal with.
Great video.
“….they live life like an open wound…. “. Wow. That describes my narcissistic, elderly mother perfectly. And then she wonders why no one wants anything to do with her. Mr. Magee am I wrong for feeling like that is toxic behavior to be avoided for my own mental health for the years that I have left? She also dumps all responsibility for her “misery”. on others. Bear in mind she lives in a lovely retirement community with many options for social interaction, and she is well cared for and in remarkably good health.
My first husband was a narcissistic nightmare. HIs parents practically worshipped him because he'd gone to Harvard, such a spectarcular accomplishment, they thought. It was pathetic all abut "status" -- ironially what he chose as a research topic!. He's now a twice-divorced, insecure wife abuser, physically and emoationally. He never managed to publish a thing, instead getting a professorial position at a small college that places teaching over scholarship. I feel for his current third wife, a former student of his who's an artist, I'm hoping that he doesn't victimize her too.
Excellent videos Darren. We need to make this vocabulary common currency as the feminists have generally taken over the language of psychological abuse. I like narcissistic empathy and moral exhibitionism myself!
And these days, in classrooms.
Seeing this behaviour constantly when trying to speak up for women’s rights and same sex spaces. It’s so difficult and frustrating. Our boundaries and safe guarding are being destroyed. How can we deal with all of this on a cultural/societal level?
I am dealing with a neighbourg like that right now.
🌱🌏💚
Calling the other persons feelings opinions. Like feelings are something intelectual.
Wow! You just described the whole Democratic Party.
Describes my husband to a T !!
This people are just evil.