Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🎉 To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
My husband suffered/suffers lack of trust... I was blind sided by his declaration of divorce. I didn't even know that I had been bulldozing over him for years "asymptomatic" that explains it😮
The scenario with the bad joke was such a good one! It's these moment where we get caught out and show our true selves and that you still have work to do. Such a perfect opportunity to work on yourself while working on you partner.
Geoffrey this came at a PERFECT time. I am moving back in after 6 months being gone. While joyous I also had NO idea what to do next. This video has given me SO much to think and meditate on. Please keep up your hard work it means so much.
Great! As we said in this video, getting safety is like getting a ticket to play the game. Now it's game time - better be ready and make sure you have the right changes, the right LEVEL of changes, and the mastered until you can't get it wrong.
Please do one on separated but living together and also how to conduct yourself on social media! I’m sleeping in the babies room and she goes out and post and pics and won’t speak on the night. it’s the hardest part for me 😞
Hi Hezekiah Marchany, I have several on this topic already, check out this video below to see why you are finding this situation so hard and what you can do about it. ua-cam.com/video/u2IO4iGHaoU/v-deo.html
Hi Geoffrey, I'm at the beginning of my journey of changing my mindset and longtime habits of blaming other person if they hurt me. Just want to tell you that his is revolutionary! Everytime they get mad I look at myself what do I feel in such situation and reflect on what was my provocations, sarcastic remarks or pointing out old mistakes. And then I realize that I would feel helpless and provoked and so they do and I feel compasion and an urge to fix thngs and this works in turning the bad spiral backwards. I know it's still not great but I see the obvious progression and results. Just wanted to let you know that.
Hi Geoffrey. Your toughts on this matter are so spot on . In my own case ,not unique by the way, i totaly agree with all that you said !!!! Safety lives in a blind spot . I felt exactly this lack of safety from my wife. At the moment im chanching and stedfast .Motivated no matter the outcome. Planting seeds .Thank you so much for your time and this valuable info that you share ... Much love from Portugal. Terima kasi .
Hi Geoffrey, I’m very confused for what step to take next. I’m struggling to just get past step number 1 of getting my ex to even see my changes or reply to me. Main issues I’d be defensive & turn problems into me vs her instead of as an opportunity to fix them, her & I vs the problem & also my insecurity issues mainly when she goes out with her friends. 21 questions, & causing arguments once she came home. Without going into too much detail she has been going no contact on me for almost 3 months. I’ve been working really hard on fixing my issues through your videos & seeing a psychotherapist. & to show her (through a letter & msgs as she refuses to talk to me) I understand them, how it would have made her feel & to show I know how to fix them & change. I honestly believe I’ve fixed my issues & will not be like that anymore (in short see problems as an opportunity to fix them, her & I Vs the problem, listen, show her she’s understood etc & with the insecurities know that I can only control myself & just have to focus on being the best partner I can be & doing everything right so that she will not have any reason to even consider anyone else. This way I’ll be reassuring myself & won’t feel the need to be insecure. but she refuses to talk to me. She’s only told me she’s exhausted & doesn’t have the energy & just wants to focus on herself, & just says that it doesn’t matter because she’s lost the feelings. The confusing things are although she says this. She hasn’t asked me to stop trying, asked me to get the rest of my things from her house & she accused me of not taking long to “get a root” (even tho I haven’t) just because she saw me at the gym with a female & she wrote “happy birthday babe” on my fb. & my ex said that she wouldn’t be able to take me back if I’ve slept with someone else & that that would mean any small chance is gone? But she was already showing me there was zero hope. I’m still not giving up. But what I’m doing of giving her space & then showing her my new mindset & changes isn’t working & hard to show her without another chance.
Hi Geoffrey, i want to thank you for your amazing videos. Unlike other people around here with more serious situations mine is much better but i still dont know what my next step should be. The main problem she accuses me of is treating her and everything around like garbage when i am mad. I lost her trust that i can be a calm person during angry moments. Long story short she talks to me daily she is interested in what i do and we have 10-20 min talks. The thing is the talks are generally superficial and i cant find the right moment to start a conversation on a more emotional level. Also i feel like i am ready to prove how much i progressed but moments in which i am usually mad are generally situation based ( work traffic etc.) which I cant recreate in any way especially since we are doing long distance . What should i do ?
I have most problems with the farming mindset and not solving things in the very moment and giving the other person time to calm down. Any thoughts, mindsets to help endure the wait, stay patient and believe it will be ok(it is everytime so far)?
I recognize my situation is not unique. my belief is that it's as simple as I damaged emotional safety because she would tell me things sometimes harshly that she had an issue with. and I'd take it personally and respond by pointing a finger back etc. over our two year relationship I guess she just felt she couldn't express herself to me. two months ago she left, for the first few weeks we still talked although much less. sent funny videos played games and even spent a few weekends together that went so well. but then one day she I asked her about if she was online or not so we could game because I seen her playing a game but wasn't on discord. and she went off saying she was tired of me asking and all and now we haven't talked at all aside from our one weekly obligation with other friends, and she refuses to see me. before going on no contact she said this was a mistake and to go f myself. now it's either bare minimum or nothing at all. and im at a loss.
Feel free to take a look at Michael's, Scott's or Spencer's client story to inspire yourself or to learn from. They faced worse situations.... And like I said to Brooks. Of course you don't see a way out - you're still trying to base your hope and you're trying to solve your problems using the same knowledge & tools you used to create it. This is like trying to solve a puzzle without all the right pieces, or trying to repair or fix a house with a sledgehammer. You used a sledgehammer to destroy safety and the relationship, and now you're going "I can't fix this with my sledgehammer - I'm at a loss". Well, of course! Time to take it upon yourself to learn and pick up different tools, because again, in reality, it's been done before, and done many times.
2 роки тому
It is similar in my situation. We never insulted each other, but she is being very cold. I know I hurt her deeply, but any attempt at fixing this only results in seeing even more how I hurt her. After all these videos and lectures I have fixed a lot of my flaws, and I am actively fixing what I know remains. I know I am ready to have her back in my arms. I love her and I can't stand the thought of her hurting. I want to fix this. But I cannot force her to give me another chance. That is her choice. Give her space. Do not push her. You, like me, might think you are unique, but give it time. Forcing yourself onto her will sour the few positive memories she still has. Get over whatever you had, because you would have to start anew anyway, with her or another person. Be happy it happened, learn your lesson. Move on in your life and improve yourself. Do not dwell on what happened, fill your time with what makes you happy, outside of your relationship.
I literally tell you in every single video that no situation is too dire or unique, and all my clients literally tell you the same thing in every interview. We also tell you why we say that. Given that, this comment or question is a bit odd, don’t you think? Check out my previous video too - we address the question of “is my situation unique?” Head on. ua-cam.com/video/O0SiXuiBHuA/v-deo.html
I just started watching you and I love your videos I would really like to schedule a call with your staff. As stated my wife has ghosted me for a month not a word and she is under her friends and family influence I just don’t see a win here but I’ll do anything that would help me win her back
@@brooks6141 Of course you don't see a win - you're still trying to base your hope and you're trying to solve your problems using the same knowledge you used to create it. Imagine someone who has never started a successful business before going "It's impossible". For you, it may be - but that's because your lack of knowledge has created a glass ceiling for yourself. But in reality, it's been done before, and done many times. Again - your situation isn't unique. I would suggest that you continue to do more research on WHY we say this. Note that we do not accept clients who thinks their situation is unique - they are impossible to coach with that mindset. Good thing is we have endless material and client stories with people in much worse situations that you are in for you to learn from.
@@brooks6141 I haven't joined the program yet, but I've watch many many of these videos and the client stories. I would first recommend taking a few days to watch some of these videos and really try to understand what is being said.
I’ve been watching Geoffrey’s videos for a couple weeks now, There are some great lessons here, I applied the techniques and already feel my changes, other people have noticed them too, I did almost everything wrong before watching his lessons, shutting down when she stonewalled me, being clingy and begging which got me blocked, Ironic since I broke up with her. I finally landed a conversation on the phone and tried my best to listen, however she continued to be extremely rude, saying hurtful things and told me she did not care if I had changed, she refused to talk in any meaningful way, I did not react but instead thanked her for telling me how she feels and reassured her I wasn’t going to keep working on myself. What would you suggest I do when your partner doesn’t want anything to do with you? To the point she demands that I even don’t walk passed her work (it’s in the same shopping centre as I am and is the fastest rout to where I work) It seems truly hopeless, I know already that I could apply the knowledge I know now into a new thriving relationship but something I noticed is you don’t talk about when it’s time to give up, I know this is all about saving the relationship but is there anytime you should give in for the better?
I never talk about giving up because my clients never need to. If you truly become irreplaceable, the rest takes care of itself. You've gone from toxic to "not toxic", which is good... But being "not toxic" is not adequate - you need to learn the skills deeply to become irreplaceable. And you need to display your new changes with intense consistency through the paradox of change (e.g. Instense resistance from your partner - which is what you are getting here). P.S. If you are saying that you don't know how to start conversations (campaigns) and turn these resistances from a negative into a positive, it almost always means your skills are still very low/changes are still very surface-level.
@@GeoffreySetiawan thanks for the reply mate! I am really good at starting conversations and turning her negative comments into a positive, but how can she perceive my changes when she utterly refuses to communicate? I really wish I had seen your videos 5 weeks earlier, if I had this knowledge back then things might of been different, we were still talking on social media and even went on several dates but I didn’t have the mindsets and knowledge that I do now, I reacted badly when she stonewalled and became clingy when she asked for space, we were even friends back then but now we are nothing, doing these things as you say in your video, shutting down when she stonewalls, reacting badly when she says she loves me but she’s not in love with me and pushing for a relationship before reattracting her subconsciously actually does way more harm then it does good, I’m really kicking myself for it now.
@@deathofchanel8568 With respect brother, your first paragraph does not make sense. Imagine a basketball player saying "I am great at dribbling, moving around the court and driving to the basketball. But how am I supposed to score a point if there are defenders blocking my way?" What? And you say you are good? By what standards? Do yourself a favor and watch the interviews by Michael or Eve. If you cannot create opportunities and deal with stonewalling properly, you are far from good at that skill. Let's get real with ourselves! If we cannot be honest with ourselves, then nothing can really happen.
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
🎉 To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
My husband suffered/suffers lack of trust...
I was blind sided by his declaration of divorce.
I didn't even know that I had been bulldozing over him for years
"asymptomatic" that explains it😮
The scenario with the bad joke was such a good one! It's these moment where we get caught out and show our true selves and that you still have work to do. Such a perfect opportunity to work on yourself while working on you partner.
Geoffrey this came at a PERFECT time. I am moving back in after 6 months being gone. While joyous I also had NO idea what to do next. This video has given me SO much to think and meditate on. Please keep up your hard work it means so much.
Great! As we said in this video, getting safety is like getting a ticket to play the game. Now it's game time - better be ready and make sure you have the right changes, the right LEVEL of changes, and the mastered until you can't get it wrong.
Thank you my brother, God bless you, please keep up the good work 🙏🙏🙏
Please do one on separated but living together and also how to conduct yourself on social media! I’m sleeping in the babies room and she goes out and post and pics and won’t speak on the night. it’s the hardest part for me 😞
Hi Hezekiah Marchany,
I have several on this topic already, check out this video below to see why you are finding this situation so hard and what you can do about it.
ua-cam.com/video/u2IO4iGHaoU/v-deo.html
@@GeoffreySetiawan thank you!
Hi Geoffrey, I'm at the beginning of my journey of changing my mindset and longtime habits of blaming other person if they hurt me. Just want to tell you that his is revolutionary! Everytime they get mad I look at myself what do I feel in such situation and reflect on what was my provocations, sarcastic remarks or pointing out old mistakes. And then I realize that I would feel helpless and provoked and so they do and I feel compasion and an urge to fix thngs and this works in turning the bad spiral backwards. I know it's still not great but I see the obvious progression and results. Just wanted to let you know that.
Hi Geoffrey.
Your toughts on this matter are so spot on .
In my own case ,not unique by the way, i totaly agree with all that you said !!!! Safety lives in a blind spot .
I felt exactly this lack of safety from my wife. At the moment im chanching and stedfast .Motivated no matter the outcome. Planting seeds .Thank you so much for your time and this valuable info that you share ...
Much love from Portugal.
Terima kasi .
Nice!
Amazing video! Thank you for your insight! You made a lot of great points :)
You are amazing !! Men should be enrolled in your class .
Hi Geoffrey, I’m very confused for what step to take next. I’m struggling to just get past step number 1 of getting my ex to even see my changes or reply to me. Main issues I’d be defensive & turn problems into me vs her instead of as an opportunity to fix them, her & I vs the problem & also my insecurity issues mainly when she goes out with her friends. 21 questions, & causing arguments once she came home. Without going into too much detail she has been going no contact on me for almost 3 months. I’ve been working really hard on fixing my issues through your videos & seeing a psychotherapist. & to show her (through a letter & msgs as she refuses to talk to me) I understand them, how it would have made her feel & to show I know how to fix them & change. I honestly believe I’ve fixed my issues & will not be like that anymore (in short see problems as an opportunity to fix them, her & I Vs the problem, listen, show her she’s understood etc & with the insecurities know that I can only control myself & just have to focus on being the best partner I can be & doing everything right so that she will not have any reason to even consider anyone else. This way I’ll be reassuring myself & won’t feel the need to be insecure.
but she refuses to talk to me. She’s only told me she’s exhausted & doesn’t have the energy & just wants to focus on herself, & just says that it doesn’t matter because she’s lost the feelings.
The confusing things are although she says this. She hasn’t asked me to stop trying, asked me to get the rest of my things from her house & she accused me of not taking long to “get a root” (even tho I haven’t) just because she saw me at the gym with a female & she wrote “happy birthday babe” on my fb. & my ex said that she wouldn’t be able to take me back if I’ve slept with someone else & that that would mean any small chance is gone? But she was already showing me there was zero hope. I’m still not giving up. But what I’m doing of giving her space & then showing her my new mindset & changes isn’t working & hard to show her without another chance.
Don’t give up man
Profound essential video
Hi Geoffrey, i want to thank you for your amazing videos. Unlike other people around here with more serious situations mine is much better but i still dont know what my next step should be. The main problem she accuses me of is treating her and everything around like garbage when i am mad. I lost her trust that i can be a calm person during angry moments. Long story short she talks to me daily she is interested in what i do and we have 10-20 min talks. The thing is the talks are generally superficial and i cant find the right moment to start a conversation on a more emotional level. Also i feel like i am ready to prove how much i progressed but moments in which i am usually mad are generally situation based ( work traffic etc.) which I cant recreate in any way especially since we are doing long distance . What should i do ?
Your content is, very good.
I have most problems with the farming mindset and not solving things in the very moment and giving the other person time to calm down. Any thoughts, mindsets to help endure the wait, stay patient and believe it will be ok(it is everytime so far)?
I recognize my situation is not unique. my belief is that it's as simple as I damaged emotional safety because she would tell me things sometimes harshly that she had an issue with. and I'd take it personally and respond by pointing a finger back etc. over our two year relationship I guess she just felt she couldn't express herself to me. two months ago she left, for the first few weeks we still talked although much less. sent funny videos played games and even spent a few weekends together that went so well. but then one day she I asked her about if she was online or not so we could game because I seen her playing a game but wasn't on discord. and she went off saying she was tired of me asking and all and now we haven't talked at all aside from our one weekly obligation with other friends, and she refuses to see me. before going on no contact she said this was a mistake and to go f myself. now it's either bare minimum or nothing at all. and im at a loss.
Feel free to take a look at Michael's, Scott's or Spencer's client story to inspire yourself or to learn from. They faced worse situations....
And like I said to Brooks. Of course you don't see a way out - you're still trying to base your hope and you're trying to solve your problems using the same knowledge & tools you used to create it.
This is like trying to solve a puzzle without all the right pieces, or trying to repair or fix a house with a sledgehammer.
You used a sledgehammer to destroy safety and the relationship, and now you're going "I can't fix this with my sledgehammer - I'm at a loss".
Well, of course!
Time to take it upon yourself to learn and pick up different tools, because again, in reality, it's been done before, and done many times.
It is similar in my situation. We never insulted each other, but she is being very cold. I know I hurt her deeply, but any attempt at fixing this only results in seeing even more how I hurt her.
After all these videos and lectures I have fixed a lot of my flaws, and I am actively fixing what I know remains. I know I am ready to have her back in my arms. I love her and I can't stand the thought of her hurting. I want to fix this. But I cannot force her to give me another chance. That is her choice.
Give her space. Do not push her. You, like me, might think you are unique, but give it time. Forcing yourself onto her will sour the few positive memories she still has. Get over whatever you had, because you would have to start anew anyway, with her or another person. Be happy it happened, learn your lesson. Move on in your life and improve yourself. Do not dwell on what happened, fill your time with what makes you happy, outside of your relationship.
Is there a limit on how many times we can join the master class? My wife has said she would be willing to watch it with me this time.
Nope! Some sessions are live, and some are pre-recorded. Nonetheless, no limit.
My wife has ghosted me for a month now. Is there any hope?
I literally tell you in every single video that no situation is too dire or unique, and all my clients literally tell you the same thing in every interview.
We also tell you why we say that.
Given that, this comment or question is a bit odd, don’t you think?
Check out my previous video too - we address the question of “is my situation unique?” Head on. ua-cam.com/video/O0SiXuiBHuA/v-deo.html
I just started watching you and I love your videos I would really like to schedule a call with your staff. As stated my wife has ghosted me for a month not a word and she is under her friends and family influence I just don’t see a win here but I’ll do anything that would help me win her back
@@brooks6141 Of course you don't see a win - you're still trying to base your hope and you're trying to solve your problems using the same knowledge you used to create it.
Imagine someone who has never started a successful business before going "It's impossible".
For you, it may be - but that's because your lack of knowledge has created a glass ceiling for yourself.
But in reality, it's been done before, and done many times.
Again - your situation isn't unique. I would suggest that you continue to do more research on WHY we say this.
Note that we do not accept clients who thinks their situation is unique - they are impossible to coach with that mindset.
Good thing is we have endless material and client stories with people in much worse situations that you are in for you to learn from.
@@brooks6141 I haven't joined the program yet, but I've watch many many of these videos and the client stories. I would first recommend taking a few days to watch some of these videos and really try to understand what is being said.
I’ve been watching Geoffrey’s videos for a couple weeks now, There are some great lessons here, I applied the techniques and already feel my changes, other people have noticed them too, I did almost everything wrong before watching his lessons, shutting down when she stonewalled me, being clingy and begging which got me blocked, Ironic since I broke up with her.
I finally landed a conversation on the phone and tried my best to listen, however she continued to be extremely rude, saying hurtful things and told me she did not care if I had changed, she refused to talk in any meaningful way, I did not react but instead thanked her for telling me how she feels and reassured her I wasn’t going to keep working on myself.
What would you suggest I do when your partner doesn’t want anything to do with you? To the point she demands that I even don’t walk passed her work (it’s in the same shopping centre as I am and is the fastest rout to where I work) It seems truly hopeless, I know already that I could apply the knowledge I know now into a new thriving relationship but something I noticed is you don’t talk about when it’s time to give up, I know this is all about saving the relationship but is there anytime you should give in for the better?
I never talk about giving up because my clients never need to. If you truly become irreplaceable, the rest takes care of itself.
You've gone from toxic to "not toxic", which is good...
But being "not toxic" is not adequate - you need to learn the skills deeply to become irreplaceable.
And you need to display your new changes with intense consistency through the paradox of change (e.g. Instense resistance from your partner - which is what you are getting here).
P.S. If you are saying that you don't know how to start conversations (campaigns) and turn these resistances from a negative into a positive, it almost always means your skills are still very low/changes are still very surface-level.
@@GeoffreySetiawan thanks for the reply mate! I am really good at starting conversations and turning her negative comments into a positive, but how can she perceive my changes when she utterly refuses to communicate?
I really wish I had seen your videos 5 weeks earlier, if I had this knowledge back then things might of been different, we were still talking on social media and even went on several dates but I didn’t have the mindsets and knowledge that I do now, I reacted badly when she stonewalled and became clingy when she asked for space, we were even friends back then but now we are nothing, doing these things as you say in your video, shutting down when she stonewalls, reacting badly when she says she loves me but she’s not in love with me and pushing for a relationship before reattracting her subconsciously actually does way more harm then it does good, I’m really kicking myself for it now.
@@deathofchanel8568 With respect brother, your first paragraph does not make sense.
Imagine a basketball player saying "I am great at dribbling, moving around the court and driving to the basketball. But how am I supposed to score a point if there are defenders blocking my way?"
What?
And you say you are good?
By what standards?
Do yourself a favor and watch the interviews by Michael or Eve.
If you cannot create opportunities and deal with stonewalling properly, you are far from good at that skill.
Let's get real with ourselves!
If we cannot be honest with ourselves, then nothing can really happen.