Hey guys, hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts! If you’d like to see if our program would be a good fit for you & what you NEED, be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited). At the end of this masterclass, we will provide you instructions on how to apply for the program, and we will be able to honestly inform you if the program would be a good fit for you, or not! Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! → urlgeni.us/MCEP153DS Download the FREE GUIDE! → relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
My husband has been watching your videos for about a year and it has dramatically helped and even possibly saved our marriage. I just wanted to say thank you so much he is still watching your videos and still improving. I watch your videos sometimes and I’ve learned a lot as well. And for anyone else, I just want to say Paul Friedman of the marriage foundation is very very good as well.
Every passing day I realize the community is so important. I just had my first very major pure process win on something that would’ve completely bulldozed my heart like two months ago. But instead I’m thriving and I felt happy about it but I realized I don’t have anyone to share it with . Yes I could tell my friends but they wouldn’t understand just how important it is or realize all the nuances. Plus the community would show u every day of people getting process wins much bigger than urs that would motivate u like hell . I’m just commenting here as a sort of celebration to myself. Hooray to me . Just getting started
I’ve tried all three , and always end up back in the same spot or even worse than I was before. I’ve recently shifted my behavior, and now I’ve come across you videos. I have to say a lot of this makes sense.
I just saw this. Unfortunately, my wife and I were fighting 5hrs ago (when this was posted) but we’ve made up after a good conversation. Today I was reminded that I am still very tethered and that I often do little things to make her like me, instead of chilling tf out because I should have have done those things days sooner or when she wasn’t upset with me. Today I have also learned that sitting there and quietly listening to my wife express her frustrations makes her feel like the message is falling upon deaf ears. It’s better to listen AND express yourself (as long as it’s in a sympathetic way) instead of completely shutting up because you worry you won’t add any value.
I'll show more about how to handle conversations in future videos. For now, think about this from today's video... Is your partner looking for you to say the right things? Make justifications? Make excuses? Or, is she looking for you to understand her, own your shit, and then take ACTION on what you've understood? What do you think?
@@GeoffreySetiawan absolutely the second option is what she wants and deserves from me. I’m very much looking forward to more on that topic. Finding win wins can be hard, especially when I keep repeating the same dumb things (even if it’s as small as the way the thermostat needs to be adjusted sort of stuff).
Another banger about to watch now. I rather take the long road to reconciliation and focus on the my changes and process there’s no rush towards success! 💯 Keep the fire contact coming bro 👍🏾
Indeed, cultivate that intrinsic love for the processes and success becomes a matter of WHEN not if :) What did you find most impactful in today's video?
Man! I love what you are doing with these videos. I started watching your channel last year and the one thing I kept wishing was for more in depth videos on the internal shifts. It's like you say, the scripts and all are easy to do, but you end up doing the right actions with the wrong emotions and that fucks things up even worse. These videos were perfectly timed for me because i realise just how long i have been clenching my cheeks to keep my shit in. lol. This video really hit me with the notion of raising my lowest tides because throughout life and even in my marriage that has been the biggest killer. I was always having internal conversations like "At least I am doing this or that." "At least" really needs to be higher even for myself as an individual!
After all this long, i had just realize 1 of the most important thing about youtube delution...Million subs doesn't mean it worth to be subscribed...if i were to unsubs all youtuber,.Jeff's will eternally be my only one reason to stay in youtube.
@@GeoffreySetiawan The value of your knowledge is a precious treasure Jeff. Eventhough i cant afford your program atm (my salary in indonesia will not able to make it) but i can b honest that the price you put in program is not even consider expensive for those who value their blissfull relationship to happen. Instead its only 0.01% compare to the cost that they spent for their marriage lifetime. Also if it were not because of your videos, my marriage is 100% finish already, thx God i found your video during my critical moment. Im still on the brink of divorce but the way you point out all my blind spot made me speechless and for the first time in my life i cry for hours, wishing i knew this before my marriage is on the brink of divorce. I cant simplify it, but if i might try, i would say, eternally that i mention because the value of your wisdom / knowledge about relationship is beyond measurement. Its a super rare treasure that if only all man in this world has the same wisdom you had, surely the department of divorce will have to resign as they earn no more money. From deepest in my heart i truly thank you Jeff for choosing the courage to point out our blind spot despite of many haters out there who still live in the ego delultion. May God gives you a very blissfull life in all aspect. Oh i forgot to mention why program is super cheap eventho i cant afford it...its your support to coach until those who willing to do the work that makes its priceless. God bless you and your family jeff
@@GeoffreySetiawan @GeoffreySetiawan i can't simplifly in just 1 sentence Jeff. The best i can try to describe it, its eternally because you are the only one on this earth who can 100% point out all my blind spot, which after i realize this, i have to go thru the struggle to win my old self daily when bitterness try to rob my thought again and again, simply bcause your honest video humbling my ego to the root. My current income in indonesia have no possibility to join your program, i dont know in the future if i could join, but 1 thing for sure, your program price is truly nothing compare to the blissful life who is willing to do the work along with you as a coach. If they can be reasonable, they definitely able to afford the price you put since marriage itself much more expensive. They just don't truly realize how wonderful their marriage life they could experience if they truly care about their partner side. Its EGO that make us male become so blind and selfish. I just want to thank you eventho i can't safe my marriage for lack of right way to do it since i realize, without join your program, it is simply impossible to reconcile especially when divorce is just the matter of time. Why i said impossible to succeed without joining your program? Because without your couch, it wont b 100% guarantee. Thx jeff deep in my heart i really wish you and your family will always be safe and stay healthy. Without your video, i will never realize how brutal my ego in my marriage.
The story about the luggage got me. I had a very close minded vision and allways went for my perspective and my feelings. Anything else was questioning my pride. But my strong reactions have allways been my weakness and learing the F.A.E and antithetic mind changed my life.
The stoic response was my go to in the past when my partner would bring up concerns. Thanks for showing me how damaging that is. Raising your lowest standard is a great takeaway!
Hey Geoff! Another great episode on internal changes. It's crazy I started writing in my little journal in therapy/changes and relationships since last November and it's practically full! It once was a place of growing connections and rekindling rifts, now a place of self growth and shifting dower interpretations and thriving. Taking charge of my life once more and washing old sabotageful mindsets. It's been a difficult journey, of self growth and acceptance. I'm so glad to be doing it tho. I can't express how much you've changed my life! I haven't signed up cause I'm not in a commited relationship, I'm still really close to one in particular. But even so, outside of understanding relationships and your partner, working with them, their's so much value in what you teach. About being a better person and honestly self growth. My journal has 2 pages left and I'm almost somber about it ha! But I already know in my heart, that the next one will be just as important, and I'll write in that one with just as much enthusiasm. What you teach is so important for partnerships and it's also so much more. Relationship or not, theirs so much to learn about betterment and even self healing. It's so much more! Helpful in all avenues of life and I've already noticed those changes. Thankyou Geoff!
@@GeoffreySetiawanthat having an antithetic filter really helps you to eventually stop falling for the Big 14.. It makes you more self aware of your surroundings and especially other people.. And also the part where we should always raise our lowest standards and having the right processes.. I can see now that the trajectory of the internal shifts just goes up over time if you follow the right processes.. It is as if i’m aging like fine wine!! I’m loving it!!🔥🔥❤️ Thank you for all your wisdom!!
Thank you for this. My wife asked for a separation 6 months ago and we’ve stayed in the house together. She wants to divorce (we’ve been married 23 years. We treat each other with respect and kindness but it’s a struggle. As I walk this path and do the work, I’ve told her I will work with her and support her through the process of divorce even though I don’t want that. I’m really struggling with the idea that I’m laying the groundwork for something I 100% do not want
I can understand why you wouldn't want this, so ask yourself this to help you build safety even FASTER... Can you say that you would do/think/feel exactly the same as her? Or, are you stuck in hypothetic thinking which prioritizes your desires over hers, once again? Because, deep down, you think you're the Perfect Product? If that's the case, then doesn't she have even MORE of a compelling reason to leave? On the flip side, maybe there are many more contexts that would explain her behavior, many more moments for you to embrace Perfect Process, that would ironically help you build the 5 pillars with her no matter what (divorce or not). What do you think? PS - Have you seen these client success stories? ua-cam.com/video/GZGLrm3ck6M/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/PQWEh5bYmJ8/v-deo.html
Thanks, I can see how you’re really putting jewels out there, I for one, am grateful for it. You’re right in that I’m sure a lot of us haven’t done the proper work to understand and identify the big 14, because we are not antithetic enough. Time to get to work! Thanks for these !
I love the reply! In this video, I show you a ton of backlogged work sabotaging your outcomes, and your response is, "Challenge accepted. Time to get to work" I freaking love that!
Thanks for the video man. I stopped hunting and started farming a month ago. It’s amazing everytime I feel like there is no hope I keep up the perfect process and I get major breakthroughs. I’m 6 months in. I watch one of your videos that says sometimes it takes 6-9 months just for your wife to begin to give you another shot and start believing you. I stopped trying to win her back and instead and focused on winning myself back. I’ve noticed her family are instensly watching me and giving me lots of positive affirmations lately. I’ve been very quiet towards my wife and just really focusing on my actions showing up and when we do talk or interact (mostly around our daughter) I make sure it’s positive.
Happy to help the community! Seems like you're going through the Paradox of Change (POC)! They're testing you to see whether you will back down on your changes when the outcome draws near...and the way you will respond will tell them EVERYTHING they need to know. The question on their minds is...will you deliver CONSISTENTLY & MASSIVELY? No matter what? When you finish the video, do you see how this connects EXACTLY to your situation?
@@GeoffreySetiawan well my sister showed me a social media post she made about being open to meeting someone new. Maybe this is the test or maybe she’s serious. Honestly I feel like my heart is torn a bit. This post comes right after her mother is giving me praises on my progress.
Raise your lowest standards not your dreams , brilliant . This kind of mentality really brings in the type of anxiety that is actually good for you because it pushes u in the direction you want to go . I have done this unknowingly in the past in respect to working out . As soon as I shifted from I want a body like that to I need to ATLEAST be this lean and look this big I have stayed consistent ever since. Once that anxiety kicks in ur off your ass and on to work . And guys I would like to say there was a client interview of a dude who literally had relations with his step daughter and is in JAIL and he’s still on a path towards reconciliation and putting the work in . So seriously what kind of fucking excuse do we have not to .
Exactly, we may do nothing to achieve our dreams, but we will go through HELL not to betray our lowest standards. In case anyone hasn't seen the story about David, here's the link: ua-cam.com/video/9qG-KsmGegU/v-deo.html Doesn't his story prove that, once again, absolutely NO situation is unique?
Been watching your video My wife wants space I can see my victim mentality And having low standards I have been able to learn somethings about how to make her feel safe in a conversation She has been very open of her frustrations, hurts, etc. she wasn’t provided for when I promised, she wasn’t romanced for properly, I only romanced her or did nice things when it was time for sex! ( doing things for outcomes) now it’s clicked lol and I’m trying to rationalize the situation and I’m all good. But the truth is I’m not lol I did some many wrong things . Did things I usually don’t do to win her back and instead it made her upset. Going to have these videos on repeat especially since I am leaving the house for a week Learn to love the process not the result
Yes, I tried the stoic route a little bit ago, saying how can she see that I've changed after 3 weeks if we do not spend any time together. I wish I would've seen this video earlier Geoffrey!!! Hopefully I didn't pushed things back. We still live together, and she stated she doesn't want to talk about these things anymore, she wants actions, and she said it's going to take time in order for us to be back like how we were 3 weeks ago. I shouldn't have never said without respect I don t think our relationship will work, and I can't do it anymore without respect and she took it as me saying I want a divorce which is a touchy subject from me saying it a few times in the past.
I have fell into all three manifestations of the perfect product illusion, and even more so early on. I remember my intention was to try to figure out the answer to "why" all of this was happening. I was blind to this because I did not see any issues early on and thought everything was perfect, which lead to being wrongfully certain about things in my relationship. Now I am to the point where I noticed that most of our issues have manifested themselves as irreconcilable differences, and I am trying to learn how to discuss these differences without sounding like a therapist. This makes things seem hopeless because if we cannot discuss the differences we remain in this trap of hopeless indifference where we cannot talk about the problems.(We are able to talk about a lot of things, just not all of the problems yet.) I believe I am still missing a key ingredient and still trying to figure out what that is.(Like I'm still destroying safety somehow(still working on untethering), or it could still be some past baggage that destroyed safety which still needs to be addressed.) Either way thanks for continuing to produce this in-depth series, I need to go back and watch all of these again.
The only way to build real trust is to accept that you are making the conscious decision to give someone else the power and ability to hurt you. No amount of controlling behavior will enable you to trust.
My antithetical filter has been going off the rails the last few days. I found a clear blind spot in a limerence concern I had. And not only did it bring about the equal blame VM but also the FAE bias in that particular situation. All that didn’t click though until I really wanted to do this process daily. And that was a falling outcome for sure, cause I don’t remember when I actually developed this want. This stuff should be in psychology books.
I'm at this crossroads of do I want to reconcile or just move on with my life... I did love her and we had a kid together but when we broke up, there was this explosion of such toxicity from her and she really attacked my masculinity and called me worthless and a lot of nasty stuff... which part of me knows she meant but part of me knows it was a release of pent up frustration from trauma and baggage from her relationship before me; he was physically and emotionally abusive and very controlling with her... but I think more than anything I miss the companionship. Regardless, I know I do want to make internal shifts to become a better communicator and make the internal shifts to enjoying the process and not the outcome; no matter what it is. That way any future relationships won't have the same shortcomings and traps.
It's totally up to you, whether you work on yourself or not, the ring doesn't play a factor in that process. If for whatever reason she feels uncomfortable seeing you wear the ring, I would respect that and continue to work on yourself. The ring itself is not the defining factor on whether you need to shift your mindset
The question I have is how often should I say " I see my problems and I watching this program that's opening my eyes and making me want to change for us, for the future but mainly for me."? I catch myself saying it a lot (at least twice a day). How much is too much? Cause she still with me but theres the negativety thats coming from her and the mixed feelings of she wants to be with me and other stuff but then theres that negativety that says "I don't bleive you or I don't want to talk to you, even when I try to explain things and see her understanding and POV. I keep telling her that I understand and I'm working on it, I watch the video that says she's going to say what you're doing is fake and everything, and she is.... I'm not giving up I just feel like I'm saying im trying too much and if I am should I stop saying it but maybe once every so often so that way it's not just words and she see's the actual progress?
I have watched just about every one of your videos and am just now subscribing my apologies! I “cheated” on my wife I’d say around 6-7 times never physical mostly DMing and I’ve liked other women’s pictures on Twitter as well as lied tons of times about money or just anything in general. ALL TRUST has been broken. I’ve been out of my home for over a month and including sleeping on the couch it’s been a little over 2 months. We do still communicate but her words are 1-3 word replies over text. I need your help Geoffrey do you think I can still save my marriage? I’ve already accepted what I’ve done and have been humiliated and have admitted my wrongdoings
I've done all the mistakes. I found Geoffrey early on in my break up but decided it wasn't for me because all the other coaches and video seemed like the better route. If only I had listened more, maybe I'd be in a better place. Now, I'm back working on my internal shifts and frameworks to becoming a better person and trying to learn. Unfortunately, I can't join for financial reasons, but if I had the ability, the fee would be worth it to be in the community.
@geoffreysetiawan I just stumble on to you am at a hard time with my wife you open my eyes to help me understand what my wife was saying your helping me understand better
Hey guys, hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts!
If you’d like to see if our program would be a good fit for you & what you NEED, be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited).
At the end of this masterclass, we will provide you instructions on how to apply for the program, and we will be able to honestly inform you if the program would be a good fit for you, or not!
Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! → urlgeni.us/MCEP153DS
Download the FREE GUIDE! → relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
My husband has been watching your videos for about a year and it has dramatically helped and even possibly saved our marriage. I just wanted to say thank you so much he is still watching your videos and still improving. I watch your videos sometimes and I’ve learned a lot as well. And for anyone else, I just want to say Paul Friedman of the marriage foundation is very very good as well.
Awesome! Love to hear that. Tell him I said "Hi" and to not stop growing! :)
Every passing day I realize the community is so important. I just had my first very major pure process win on something that would’ve completely bulldozed my heart like two months ago. But instead I’m thriving and I felt happy about it but I realized I don’t have anyone to share it with . Yes I could tell my friends but they wouldn’t understand just how important it is or realize all the nuances. Plus the community would show u every day of people getting process wins much bigger than urs that would motivate u like hell . I’m just commenting here as a sort of celebration to myself. Hooray to me . Just getting started
I’ve tried all three , and always end up back in the same spot or even worse than I was before. I’ve recently shifted my behavior, and now I’ve come across you videos. I have to say a lot of this makes sense.
I just saw this. Unfortunately, my wife and I were fighting 5hrs ago (when this was posted) but we’ve made up after a good conversation. Today I was reminded that I am still very tethered and that I often do little things to make her like me, instead of chilling tf out because I should have have done those things days sooner or when she wasn’t upset with me.
Today I have also learned that sitting there and quietly listening to my wife express her frustrations makes her feel like the message is falling upon deaf ears. It’s better to listen AND express yourself (as long as it’s in a sympathetic way) instead of completely shutting up because you worry you won’t add any value.
I think thats were paraphrazing comes to play.
I'll show more about how to handle conversations in future videos.
For now, think about this from today's video...
Is your partner looking for you to say the right things? Make justifications? Make excuses?
Or, is she looking for you to understand her, own your shit, and then take ACTION on what you've understood?
What do you think?
@@GeoffreySetiawan absolutely the second option is what she wants and deserves from me. I’m very much looking forward to more on that topic.
Finding win wins can be hard, especially when I keep repeating the same dumb things (even if it’s as small as the way the thermostat needs to be adjusted sort of stuff).
Another banger about to watch now. I rather take the long road to reconciliation and focus on the my changes and process there’s no rush towards success! 💯 Keep the fire contact coming bro 👍🏾
Good shit, my man :)
After finishing the video, let me know what resonated deeply with you!
Everyone focus on the daily routine and process. We will all succeed!
Indeed, cultivate that intrinsic love for the processes and success becomes a matter of WHEN not if :)
What did you find most impactful in today's video?
Man! I love what you are doing with these videos. I started watching your channel last year and the one thing I kept wishing was for more in depth videos on the internal shifts. It's like you say, the scripts and all are easy to do, but you end up doing the right actions with the wrong emotions and that fucks things up even worse. These videos were perfectly timed for me because i realise just how long i have been clenching my cheeks to keep my shit in. lol.
This video really hit me with the notion of raising my lowest tides because throughout life and even in my marriage that has been the biggest killer. I was always having internal conversations like "At least I am doing this or that."
"At least" really needs to be higher even for myself as an individual!
After all this long, i had just realize 1 of the most important thing about youtube delution...Million subs doesn't mean it worth to be subscribed...if i were to unsubs all youtuber,.Jeff's will eternally be my only one reason to stay in youtube.
Appreciate the kind words!
After you finish the video, don't forget to let me know what eternally stuck with you :)
@@GeoffreySetiawan The value of your knowledge is a precious treasure Jeff. Eventhough i cant afford your program atm (my salary in indonesia will not able to make it) but i can b honest that the price you put in program is not even consider expensive for those who value their blissfull relationship to happen. Instead its only 0.01% compare to the cost that they spent for their marriage lifetime. Also if it were not because of your videos, my marriage is 100% finish already, thx God i found your video during my critical moment. Im still on the brink of divorce but the way you point out all my blind spot made me speechless and for the first time in my life i cry for hours, wishing i knew this before my marriage is on the brink of divorce. I cant simplify it, but if i might try, i would say, eternally that i mention because the value of your wisdom / knowledge about relationship is beyond measurement. Its a super rare treasure that if only all man in this world has the same wisdom you had, surely the department of divorce will have to resign as they earn no more money. From deepest in my heart i truly thank you Jeff for choosing the courage to point out our blind spot despite of many haters out there who still live in the ego delultion. May God gives you a very blissfull life in all aspect. Oh i forgot to mention why program is super cheap eventho i cant afford it...its your support to coach until those who willing to do the work that makes its priceless. God bless you and your family jeff
@@GeoffreySetiawan @GeoffreySetiawan i can't simplifly in just 1 sentence Jeff. The best i can try to describe it, its eternally because you are the only one on this earth who can 100% point out all my blind spot, which after i realize this, i have to go thru the struggle to win my old self daily when bitterness try to rob my thought again and again, simply bcause your honest video humbling my ego to the root. My current income in indonesia have no possibility to join your program, i dont know in the future if i could join, but 1 thing for sure, your program price is truly nothing compare to the blissful life who is willing to do the work along with you as a coach. If they can be reasonable, they definitely able to afford the price you put since marriage itself much more expensive. They just don't truly realize how wonderful their marriage life they could experience if they truly care about their partner side. Its EGO that make us male become so blind and selfish. I just want to thank you eventho i can't safe my marriage for lack of right way to do it since i realize, without join your program, it is simply impossible to reconcile especially when divorce is just the matter of time. Why i said impossible to succeed without joining your program? Because without your couch, it wont b 100% guarantee. Thx jeff deep in my heart i really wish you and your family will always be safe and stay healthy. Without your video, i will never realize how brutal my ego in my marriage.
Geoffrey always speaks the truth about us women. I enjoy watching his videos as it makes me full of hope on finding guys with the same mindset as him.
The story about the luggage got me. I had a very close minded vision and allways went for my perspective and my feelings. Anything else was questioning my pride. But my strong reactions have allways been my weakness and learing the F.A.E and antithetic mind changed my life.
Remarkable, isn't it? Just one small shift can change EVERYTHING and can build MASSIVE safety :)
@@GeoffreySetiawan yeah, I'm joining the program under this week and if this already change me by alot, boy oboy what a journey this will be!
@@Croonina Absolutely LOVE that attitude :)
Carry that intrinsic love for the process with you throughout the program! LFG!
🥳
@@GeoffreySetiawan as I said to Saboor, my glass ceiling is shattered and I'm aiming high! Talk to you soon Geoffrey!
@@Croonina Saboor here. Super stoked to see you joining today, my man.
Can't wait to see you grow beyond everyone's wildest expectations!
The stoic response was my go to in the past when my partner would bring up concerns. Thanks for showing me how damaging that is.
Raising your lowest standard is a great takeaway!
Hey Geoff! Another great episode on internal changes. It's crazy I started writing in my little journal in therapy/changes and relationships since last November and it's practically full!
It once was a place of growing connections and rekindling rifts, now a place of self growth and shifting dower interpretations and thriving. Taking charge of my life once more and washing
old sabotageful mindsets. It's been a difficult journey, of self growth and acceptance. I'm so glad to be doing it tho. I can't express how much you've changed my life!
I haven't signed up cause I'm not in a commited relationship, I'm still really close to one in particular. But even so, outside of understanding relationships and your partner, working with them,
their's so much value in what you teach. About being a better person and honestly self growth. My journal has 2 pages left and I'm almost somber about it ha! But I already know in my
heart, that the next one will be just as important, and I'll write in that one with just as much enthusiasm. What you teach is so important for partnerships and it's also so much more.
Relationship or not, theirs so much to learn about betterment and even self healing. It's so much more! Helpful in all avenues of life and I've already noticed those changes.
Thankyou Geoff!
Staying quiet and not brining up the relationship has been so difficult to overcome. Need to be more quiet and focused on me
You never fail to amaze me with your videos my guy!! More lessons to take in!! I love it!🔥🔥
Appreciate it! What lessons resonated the most with you in this video?
@@GeoffreySetiawanthat having an antithetic filter really helps you to eventually stop falling for the Big 14.. It makes you more self aware of your surroundings and especially other people.. And also the part where we should always raise our lowest standards and having the right processes.. I can see now that the trajectory of the internal shifts just goes up over time if you follow the right processes.. It is as if i’m aging like fine wine!! I’m loving it!!🔥🔥❤️
Thank you for all your wisdom!!
Thank you for your videos and your amazing knowledge! I hope to improve myself using your content and help. You do great work.
So ready for this 🙏 ready to study and apply it.
After you finish the video, let me know what takeaways BLEW your mind :)
Thank you for this. My wife asked for a separation 6 months ago and we’ve stayed in the house together. She wants to divorce (we’ve been married 23 years. We treat each other with respect and kindness but it’s a struggle. As I walk this path and do the work, I’ve told her I will work with her and support her through the process of divorce even though I don’t want that. I’m really struggling with the idea that I’m laying the groundwork for something I 100% do not want
I can understand why you wouldn't want this, so ask yourself this to help you build safety even FASTER...
Can you say that you would do/think/feel exactly the same as her?
Or, are you stuck in hypothetic thinking which prioritizes your desires over hers, once again?
Because, deep down, you think you're the Perfect Product?
If that's the case, then doesn't she have even MORE of a compelling reason to leave?
On the flip side, maybe there are many more contexts that would explain her behavior, many more moments for you to embrace Perfect Process, that would ironically help you build the 5 pillars with her no matter what (divorce or not).
What do you think?
PS - Have you seen these client success stories?
ua-cam.com/video/GZGLrm3ck6M/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/PQWEh5bYmJ8/v-deo.html
Thanks, I can see how you’re really putting jewels out there, I for one, am grateful for it. You’re right in that I’m sure a lot of us haven’t done the proper work to understand and identify the big 14, because we are not antithetic enough.
Time to get to work! Thanks for these !
I love the reply!
In this video, I show you a ton of backlogged work sabotaging your outcomes, and your response is, "Challenge accepted. Time to get to work" I freaking love that!
Thank you Geoff. Everything is starting to work 👌🏽
Thanks for the video man. I stopped hunting and started farming a month ago. It’s amazing everytime I feel like there is no hope I keep up the perfect process and I get major breakthroughs.
I’m 6 months in. I watch one of your videos that says sometimes it takes 6-9 months just for your wife to begin to give you another shot and start believing you.
I stopped trying to win her back and instead and focused on winning myself back.
I’ve noticed her family are instensly watching me and giving me lots of positive affirmations lately. I’ve been very quiet towards my wife and just really focusing on my actions showing up and when we do talk or interact (mostly around our daughter) I make sure it’s positive.
Happy to help the community!
Seems like you're going through the Paradox of Change (POC)! They're testing you to see whether you will back down on your changes when the outcome draws near...and the way you will respond will tell them EVERYTHING they need to know.
The question on their minds is...will you deliver CONSISTENTLY & MASSIVELY? No matter what?
When you finish the video, do you see how this connects EXACTLY to your situation?
@@GeoffreySetiawan well my sister showed me a social media post she made about being open to meeting someone new.
Maybe this is the test or maybe she’s serious. Honestly I feel like my heart is torn a bit. This post comes right after her mother is giving me praises on my progress.
Raise your lowest standards not your dreams , brilliant . This kind of mentality really brings in the type of anxiety that is actually good for you because it pushes u in the direction you want to go . I have done this unknowingly in the past in respect to working out . As soon as I shifted from I want a body like that to I need to ATLEAST be this lean and look this big I have stayed consistent ever since. Once that anxiety kicks in ur off your ass and on to work . And guys I would like to say there was a client interview of a dude who literally had relations with his step daughter and is in JAIL and he’s still on a path towards reconciliation and putting the work in . So seriously what kind of fucking excuse do we have not to .
Exactly, we may do nothing to achieve our dreams, but we will go through HELL not to betray our lowest standards.
In case anyone hasn't seen the story about David, here's the link:
ua-cam.com/video/9qG-KsmGegU/v-deo.html
Doesn't his story prove that, once again, absolutely NO situation is unique?
Been watching your video
My wife wants space
I can see my victim mentality
And having low standards
I have been able to learn somethings about how to make her feel safe in a conversation
She has been very open of her frustrations, hurts, etc. she wasn’t provided for when I promised, she wasn’t romanced for properly, I only romanced her or did nice things when it was time for sex! ( doing things for outcomes) now it’s clicked lol and I’m trying to rationalize the situation and I’m all good. But the truth is I’m not lol I did some many wrong things . Did things I usually don’t do to win her back and instead it made her upset.
Going to have these videos on repeat especially since I am leaving the house for a week
Learn to love the process not the result
Yes, I tried the stoic route a little bit ago, saying how can she see that I've changed after 3 weeks if we do not spend any time together. I wish I would've seen this video earlier Geoffrey!!! Hopefully I didn't pushed things back. We still live together, and she stated she doesn't want to talk about these things anymore, she wants actions, and she said it's going to take time in order for us to be back like how we were 3 weeks ago. I shouldn't have never said without respect I don t think our relationship will work, and I can't do it anymore without respect and she took it as me saying I want a divorce which is a touchy subject from me saying it a few times in the past.
I have fell into all three manifestations of the perfect product illusion, and even more so early on. I remember my intention was to try to figure out the answer to "why" all of this was happening. I was blind to this because I did not see any issues early on and thought everything was perfect, which lead to being wrongfully certain about things in my relationship.
Now I am to the point where I noticed that most of our issues have manifested themselves as irreconcilable differences, and I am trying to learn how to discuss these differences without sounding like a therapist. This makes things seem hopeless because if we cannot discuss the differences we remain in this trap of hopeless indifference where we cannot talk about the problems.(We are able to talk about a lot of things, just not all of the problems yet.) I believe I am still missing a key ingredient and still trying to figure out what that is.(Like I'm still destroying safety somehow(still working on untethering), or it could still be some past baggage that destroyed safety which still needs to be addressed.)
Either way thanks for continuing to produce this in-depth series, I need to go back and watch all of these again.
The only way to build real trust is to accept that you are making the conscious decision to give someone else the power and ability to hurt you. No amount of controlling behavior will enable you to trust.
My antithetical filter has been going off the rails the last few days. I found a clear blind spot in a limerence concern I had. And not only did it bring about the equal blame VM but also the FAE bias in that particular situation.
All that didn’t click though until I really wanted to do this process daily. And that was a falling outcome for sure, cause I don’t remember when I actually developed this want.
This stuff should be in psychology books.
I'm at this crossroads of do I want to reconcile or just move on with my life... I did love her and we had a kid together but when we broke up, there was this explosion of such toxicity from her and she really attacked my masculinity and called me worthless and a lot of nasty stuff... which part of me knows she meant but part of me knows it was a release of pent up frustration from trauma and baggage from her relationship before me; he was physically and emotionally abusive and very controlling with her... but I think more than anything I miss the companionship.
Regardless, I know I do want to make internal shifts to become a better communicator and make the internal shifts to enjoying the process and not the outcome; no matter what it is. That way any future relationships won't have the same shortcomings and traps.
Should I keep wearing my wedding ring if my wife removes hers one month into our separation? I really don’t want to stop wearing it.
In the same boat..
It's totally up to you, whether you work on yourself or not, the ring doesn't play a factor in that process. If for whatever reason she feels uncomfortable seeing you wear the ring, I would respect that and continue to work on yourself. The ring itself is not the defining factor on whether you need to shift your mindset
The question I have is how often should I say " I see my problems and I watching this program that's opening my eyes and making me want to change for us, for the future but mainly for me."? I catch myself saying it a lot (at least twice a day). How much is too much? Cause she still with me but theres the negativety thats coming from her and the mixed feelings of she wants to be with me and other stuff but then theres that negativety that says "I don't bleive you or I don't want to talk to you, even when I try to explain things and see her understanding and POV. I keep telling her that I understand and I'm working on it, I watch the video that says she's going to say what you're doing is fake and everything, and she is.... I'm not giving up I just feel like I'm saying im trying too much and if I am should I stop saying it but maybe once every so often so that way it's not just words and she see's the actual progress?
I have watched just about every one of your videos and am just now subscribing my apologies! I “cheated” on my wife I’d say around 6-7 times never physical mostly DMing and I’ve liked other women’s pictures on Twitter as well as lied tons of times about money or just anything in general. ALL TRUST has been broken. I’ve been out of my home for over a month and including sleeping on the couch it’s been a little over 2 months. We do still communicate but her words are 1-3 word replies over text. I need your help Geoffrey do you think I can still save my marriage? I’ve already accepted what I’ve done and have been humiliated and have admitted my wrongdoings
Bonjour,
Where could I get the THT script please? Merci
does this program offer payment plans?
I've done all the mistakes. I found Geoffrey early on in my break up but decided it wasn't for me because all the other coaches and video seemed like the better route. If only I had listened more, maybe I'd be in a better place. Now, I'm back working on my internal shifts and frameworks to becoming a better person and trying to learn. Unfortunately, I can't join for financial reasons, but if I had the ability, the fee would be worth it to be in the community.
The masterclasses is free basically 😊
@geoffreysetiawan I just stumble on to you am at a hard time with my wife you open my eyes to help me understand what my wife was saying your helping me understand better