Do You Invest Too Early in Dating? Here's How to Stop... (Matthew Hussey & Stephen Hussey)
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- Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
- Are you the type of person who loves a whirlwind romance? Do you get hooked on someone after only a couple of dates?
It's great to be excited about a new person, but we always have to be careful to know if someone has earned a priority place in our mind, or whether we are merely romanticizing them because of certain traits we're attracted to.
If you've ever 'over-invested' too quickly, here's what you can do...
P.S. There's still time to create the life of your dreams WITH ME (🙂) on my Virtual Retreat happening live THIS WEEKEND. If you want to take accountability for building a blueprint for the life you want this year, head to MHVirtualRetrea.... Don't miss this last chance to speak to secure your spot on the retreat. It's going to be a GAME-CHANGER for the lives of everyone who is there.
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my dating mentor JUST told me to just enjoy the moment and stop thinking so far ahead
This is the best way to go! I’ve done this in the past as a younger person. I’m much more level headed now and it’s because I realized thus very thing Matthew shares in this video.
Good luck sis! 🥰
still so hard sometimes....!
I'm going out with a guy from online for the first time & it scares me to think that it might not work out then I will regret it lol
It’s hard when you are dating but it feels like a relationship. Then my mind goes full speed ahead.
Not always easy for women as our brains are not compartments
I can see the red flags in someone I am not attracted too, but once there is attraction and chemistry my judgement goes out the window. I get addicted to that feeling and I don’t want it to end, so I ignore or justify the concerning behavior. It never ends well. I don’t know how to get my judgment to override the powerful feelings I am experiencing.
Exactly like me
"I'm sorry you got annoyed"
Classic! My ex would say that.
Not sorry for actions, only for how someone feels about them.
Well, I can beat this, EN: my ex NEVER apologised for anything! He was NEVER wrong! :(
@@cahilpeterson4978 1) Are you hitting on me, dear? 2) Why is your reply highlighted?
Haha!
@@cahilpeterson4978 Well, that answers one of my questions, haha! Have a lovely day, young Cahil.
EN, when you posted this comment of yours, did you expect people to start flirting with anyone who replied to it? :)
Jaja I just met a guy like that! Exactly this.
Already stopped dating him
I feel like Matthew is passionate but coutious and Stephen is slower in jumping in but more trusting in the long run
I agree
You guys are hilarious🤪🍑🍐🥒🍮😂👍
About defining each other.. were they having an online brotherly fight!!
We should have the idea of being in love with ourselves first.
Are people actually rejecting us or is it our perspective. Just because you meet a person does not mean that's the person for us. There is nothing wrong with us and if we take this as rejection, how many people have we rejected. The sooner we realize this is not my person as nd let them go the closer we are to the person for us. Don't get intimate early on, this often muddy the waters.
Funny he said that! I was listening to him in long toilet run
@Maheen No one will ever love us the way we love ourselves. Who is meant for you will be for you. You will meet many who will not be on your level or plain and simply will not be into you that much. This happens to all of us. Focus on you and work on self love, this is the only way you will ever attract the right person. I would rather be single than deal with peeps who are simply not on my level to begin with or are with the wishy washy behavior. Wishing you all the best, cause that's exactly what you deserve :)
@Maheen - don’t think of it as rejection. It’s another chance! Each time one doesn’t work out, I’m sad because I was sure this time was it. -but the next one is always even better! At this point, it’s exciting because when I think I couldn’t find anyone better and it doesn’t work out, I know my mind is about to be blown (again!) by the next one! 🥰
@@helenah7965 Preach 🎉
That quote about success is just going from failure to failure......that's gold, I've never heard that before!
Most people afraid of being alone so when they meet someone at the beginning they can't see or ignore red flags. They only see what the person wants them to see. It takes time to see their true intentions. I don't understand how a person can be in love with each other when they just met less than a month. I think some people are in a relationship for the wrong reason.
I love how Stephen is Matthew’s brother and calls him by his full name - ‘let me ask you this Matthew Hussey...’.😂😂😂 I like what Matthew is saying about having other things going on - I’ve found that when I am working on myself and I’m excited about it (working out, meditation, reading) I’m less inclined to be so invested in that one person I’ve been on a date with.
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give him a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
This is so true...It is so easy to get very excited in the initial stages of dating and get caught up in someone's "potential."
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give him a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give him a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
My god.. also my curse 😢
Honestly I love what Stephen brings to these chats! And I like his sign-off, just saying. :)
Stephen Hussey, you are just a wonderful brother of Matthew. He must be very grateful! And by the way you are seem to be so nice and interesting, so working hard to grow and understand! It's so fine to see you in the videos!
Anyone wanna just save themselves for someone like Matthew Hussey?? 😍😍
Coaches, psychologists, psychiatrist and all people who know the mind are going to be great manipulators. Specially if they're handsome and work with woman. Well, I would be cautious. I'm telling you because I just met a man who I'm in love with (terrible idea) and he is a coach and works with woman.
I find that I invest too soon because the man is giving his all, so I match his energy. The difference is men don’t necessarily invest emotionally as soon as women do! So if I’m investing time I shortly after end up investing emotionally and that’s when it becomes bad!
Got my heart broken recently, but this just confirmed I too wasn’t ready. I had so many issues I was dealing with. Moved to a new city, few to little friends and then I fell for someone, but I was unsure of where I stood with them after five months so I broke it off. I had a nervous breakdown, lost my job, and lost my apt. I finally managed to find a new place to live and I’m slowly picking up the pieces.
I didn’t want to rely on someone to fix my problems so I left to try and fix myself.
I love the banter between you too! Its very endearing to see how close your family obviously is. Thats the gold right there ☺
Just want a healthy, beautiful, happy relationship. 😊
Just ..... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Please don't cry for the moon
Guys you are hilarious! 🤣 btw I'm in my 40s, was married for 18, got divorced and started dating again. Few disappointment on the way but I'm still enthusiastic about life and going on dates! If they're not the right ones I'll try again, a bit bruised but still putting myself out there! Thanks for your Insights as always very welcome!
I have a similar story, young Jen. Power to you, me, and everyone else with this story! :)
I feel like its not always a matter of over investing. I keep coming across males who love bomb and/or sell an image of a future too soon. I am wary of them when signs like this start. Its hard not to be hurt or feel burnt out when the inevitable happens a few months later. Where they panic themselves because of the future they sold you 🤦🏻♀️ meanwhile I'm like calm down, slow down..
I listen to what the person says about themselves with a grain of salt. I make sure I don't future project or daydream. I watch for the pattern of words vs actions. Remember you're building a friendship first and foremost.
I think that’s where me and my ex went wrong,
We just started dating and I asked her to be my girlfriend within the first month ..
this is exactly what i needed to hear
I saw a different side of you in this one , Matthew. Made me smile.
This interviewer is amazing. He’s asking the questions we want to know!
A lengthy bathroom run....hysterical! You both are hilarious! I love your banter with each other.
If you re reading this, THIS IS YOUR SIGN to start investing in your inner balance and tranquility! The moment you rise your vibrational resonance is the moment you can manifest with the thought alone💙🙏
you know, Matthew, listen to you both and you making a lot of sense, prevents me from falling back over and over into my vicious mind fuckery circle of self-hate and self-criticism....it´s going so far that I need your conversations to get my day done. Thank you for that. it´s the only thing helping me right now.
The moment you make that connection. You've already made an investment. Investment is beyond finance. It's investment of your time...correct or 100% facts?
Just wrapping my head around how you have so much wisdom, and yet, no apparent silver hair. Mildly maddening.
Brilliant...the brotherly banter is very witty 👌🏻
Why did this dynamic feel so awkward today?
For me it is quite reasonable. If I experience the relationship in my head, I am unable to examine my own experiences because I do not experience them so I do not trust my feelings of the moment. If I do honor my feeling experienced and I base on them, they will guide me further. I mean, be an emotional rational 💚 for your own happiness multiplied 😀 Just as Matthew says, in thr moment you experience and then you invest moment by moment. This requires letting go of old hurts.
I really enjoy seeing you two brothers talking about topics. Keep the dynamic duo content coming!
Just have fun and live in the moment. Stop going into the future and just enjoy what’s going on. Thanks Matthew Hussey ❤️😊
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give him a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
Starting out with the questions often times scares them off. Very few MEN would perceive a woman asking questions as being inquisitive. It's hard to move forward without investing yourself. It feels fake not to.
@@cahilpeterson4978 lol! Excellent!! Thanks for asking😆
Jaw dropping. Outstanding conversation and advice. 🔥🔥🔥
Matt gives great outsider advice, but I feel like he's never truly been in love.
This video is just on time. Today I break up (if I can say so) after almost a month of dating. I got feelings so fast and I feel like I invested too much right from the beggining. 😑
Happened with me twice when I was with the same person. Stay strong dear, time will heal !❤
feel you!
@@ashimakhokhar8014 thank you ❤
@@annak2984 ❤
These conversations of yours and the sense of humour....made my day. 😁💛
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give him a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
How are women who are in the late 30s, never married and kids to approach this? Most all have that biological clock ticking so at what point are they supposed to give up on that idea because the dating scene sucks and investing in someone you think will last only to have them waste time you can’t back? Time is one thing women at that age are running out of!
I’d really love to hear your thoughts on that subject!!
I would like to know how to handle someone if they project unrealistic expectations onto you. That in itself can pull you in and it’s very exciting. Unfortunately, I didn’t handle it very well when the rose-coloured glasses came off for him.
When that happens to me it isnt good at all. I start to feel an urge to behave badly. Dont know if that makes sense? It is kind of like I feel the Need to be like „hey I am human. I have flaws. Please See them?“ and until someone does I cannot trust?
Hey, Matthew, I really command you for the attitude and doing those healthy callouts on things that damage the relationships. I would dash a bit of tenderness into that cheeky sibling stuff. It helped me and my brother a lot. And the feminine emotional energy is so blissfull 💚💚💚
Yes. See people who they are...
Not who you want them to be.
Approach with curiosity without a predetermined role.
Great video and content!👌. I love this format, organic and natural, It creates familiarity❤️. Matthew and Stephen are such a great team. The complicity is amazing and the jokes and extra conversations are really fun and nice to witness . I don't understand though, why people keep telling they see something different in Matthew , it's obvious that this kind of videos give priority to the high value content and are not so much edited with lights etc... Matt is attractive because of his light not because his looks ( and he is always fit and well presented). Amazing work! 👏👏👏
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give me a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
How are these two smart thoughtful men still single? Oh yeah, too busy living their best lives and not taking it too seriously 😎👏🏼
And here I am as a man (saying this a I realized this channel is more focused towards woman) going through a round of dating with investing too much early on, question some things way too much (like analyzing my sent messages from time to time if she won't misinterpret what I said etc) and even looking at my phone in the hope a new message is there, although everything should be an exciting journey in the end.
I found this and another couple of your videos by chance and it's amazing how I see myself in some of the scenarios. I do get an uplifting vibe listening to someone about exact these things and I will try to take some advices to heart.
Great channel and keep it up man.
Really enjoying seeing both Matthew and Stephen...loving these videos! Love hearing from Stephan too!
The timing scares me 😂 I need it! Thank you so much
I didn't like how Matt got a bit arrogant at the end when he was telling Steve that he did classic male stuff. Mat got a bit full of himself. :P
Yes no need to hang on to every word, just some empathy is necessary
I kind of like that he called attention to it... I'm not sure how Matt would have addressed it had that not been recording (and y'all know they could have cut it out), but he took the teachable moment. That's his passion *and* his job, and I appreciate him for that. It's good for us to see that these little moments can be overcome with trust and clear communication and don't have to tally up or blow out of proportion. My two cents. Thanks to Steve too for being receptive. 👍
Yaaay peaches, pickles puddings are back!😁
Love the video! Good luck to everyone at the upcoming Matthew Hussey virtual retreat!💜💜💜🍀
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give me a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
"A short breakfast or a lengthy toilet run" hahaha. So accurate.
Man, these guys are awesome, i feel like I'm having conversation with the friends that I don't know.))
(Pear here) Great call on Steve's part to show a few ways a typical man might be avoidant. 😉
Loved the exchange
Mathew trying to make this short videos, whilst I'm hoping for a one hour weekly podcast 😪😪😪
I just gotta say, I love these talks with both of you, you complete each other 😆
This was such a weird vibe...what is happening in this dynamic?!? Why is M so jerk-like?
you two are just darling - truly!
Can I just ask- what coffee shop do you usually go to Matthew? asking for a friend LOL
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give him a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
I’ve always done this I guess is not a positive thing to do you need to let love grow slowly for the most part
Dating shouldn’t be so much pressure!
There is something different about Matthew I can see that he has lost weight but he just looks different but I'm not too sure what is different if that makes any sense!
I think it's his hair color and length
@@miyamiya1726 I don't know what it is but he just looks different.thank you for your reply.peace and love 💖
he's waking up at 5 am, training hard and working hard... he sounds content and confident and its reflecting on his face.. THATS whats different
He got more humble and wise with age, i like that
Oh my gosh, yes I have noticed a physical change too. I hope he's ok❤ I LOVE listening to him! His brother too!
Matthew! Me encantan tus videos, gracias por todo. Saludos. 💫✨
Roy brought me here! Thanks Matt, Steve and Roy!
Love these talks!
Seems like you make yourself attracted to people you are in
I attracted to ! That will work for most folks if you are attractive. 💕
I`ve never been so early)) Matthew, your videos are so inspiring! Thank you for your work!
I wish the cohost wouldn’t mention failing at dating the way he did. It is the wrong way to look at relationships. People are in our lives for a season a reason or a lifetime. Some of my best relationships were the shortest. One of my best ones was only a month along. I still get nostalgic, but I would never take any of them back or refer to them as failing. Life’s for growing and lessons, enjoy the journey, it’s all we really have!! ❤
I’ve done this and have had this done to me for sure
It's always fun to see your interactions!
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give me a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
Steve is real sweet 😊😊
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give me a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
I loved d way u called out on his gaslight. He still did d man apology, sorry u were annoyed, not sorry he prolonged!
I love your relationship with each other. It's amazing 🤣🤣💕👌
I love the dynamic between them. And the content of course. 🤗
They crack me up 😂
Definitely wouldn't be coming to the retreat.. the way M talked to S made me uncomfortable
Right?!! That was so uncomfortable to watch, he acted like a total jerk
Yeah he needs to calm down a little bit lol haha
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give him a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
1:43 speaks volumes. ask the hard questions
I have the problem that my life is plentiful and most of the time I'm not letting anybody in because I don't want to give time and energy, so I get a lot of casual hookups (on purpose though). Because, when I do let someone in and give them time and energy, I have been let down and felt like I wasted 2-4 years of my life investing in this relationship and playing house when I was perfectly ok being alone. So, Matthew and Stephen, you talk about investing too soon...which I understand many people have this issue with. What about learning how to invest in the RIGHT person? But I'm talking about learning to scope who is going to be the person for the long haul, not just until infatuation wears off (18 months approx).
EARLY GANG! Hey, Mat!
Thank you for conveying everything so wonderfully that is so soothing and calming . Both always do justice what ever they come up with the topic . keep growing and smiling and along with giving your words a clarity that reaches perfectly .Sooo nice to hear and stay in high spirits always and being there . Stay blessed and Much Care .😘
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give him a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
I recently had feelings after a few dates for someone who also said he had feelings. We spent a month talking on the phone as he lives 5 hours away. Then he said he couldn't continue due to my feelings and questions about the future. Note this, he actually said "marriage" and that's what I heard. Later, he says "Oh, I was being silly and dreaming." OK. So he broke up. Two weeks later, he shows up. Emotions all over the place and I've asked for an adult convo about his actions and his thoughts/feelings. Usually it takes me months to fall for someone because I'm looking at all the pitfalls. Dating feels like a tragic/comedy.
Love your insight Matthew. Thank you for sharing.
After watching this I definitely know I'd prefer to date Steve over Matthew. Matthew would be watching all the other girls getting coffee!
Hi holly how are you doing
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give me a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
7:00 "there is someTHING else that brings you joy right now...right?"
The curmudgeonly old wretch looks away with guilt and says "yeah" to avoid Matthew's further interrogations
LOL! Ahaha
I feel like I never have enough notice for these retreats :(
Perfect advice as usually, only just found Matthew recently, so much love for this brotherly love !!! :)
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give him a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
Hi Matthew! Your videos help me so much! Thank you 🙏🏼
Love from India 🇮🇳❤️
I'm always investing way too early
Love this. How we look for and project on others the things we are looking for in bussiness , in romance, in friendships. Like we don't want to know this person doesn't fit the "vision" ...... Recently I was interviewing someone for a position at my firm, I asked the toughe questions the ones I needed answers to that tended more to characture and intentions. I used to just literally project all the things I was looking for onto the other person. That great I improved there - ah but for me the second layer is now just as problematic which is you then have to believe what you hear its like "hmm okay I feel a little unfacinated here and honestly that doesn't really work for me" . I'll know that its not right for me and continue to kind of ignore the inner dialog as a result of asking these toughe questions. - I find that immensly interesting. This layers and complexity / nuance to holding standards . As a person who practices vision - seeing whats possible and not for clients topography and outdoor living spaces - for eighteen years. I naturally do that with people and I have had to cultivate and continue to add to my ability to see a more nuanced version of people that includes this second layer of self trust in my own internal barameter of what I hear in response to asking the questions. Third layer not second guessing it and going the other way.
Matt don't overthink - it's normal to end e.g. a teams meeting by saying "Yes I think time's about up, let's wrap it up..."
Matt, you think too much analyze everything, think with your heart, let your heart speaks for you we all make this mistake take the risk of being able to truly love someone. Your brother is a good guy, I am a guy I would marry him instantly because I feel that he is good soul
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give him a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
I am 32. been single for long time... I am watching all his / their videos every night ... i am like a student who is doing some research paper... learning ...
Wow.. So much focus for your virtual retreat. Is this paid? How much?
Hello friend how are you doing I know how you can solve your problem give me a text on wha'txpp +2.3.4 -9'0 1'' 7.. '7' ,5' 2....0...6..0
🤣10:34. So good. Also, Matthew hanging jesus-like in His three chairs🤣
Matthew- this video gave me an idea to actually combine the concept of dating (tools to help women find a good man to invest into) and in general 101 investing concepts and advice.
For example. Women want a well diversified man, *pie chart* and there will be 20% resources (well paying job), 20% attractiveness, 30% emotional intelligence, so on and so on.
If you taught your audience about investing advice (looking into the present value of someone and not their 'potential'), ways to invest (your time and energy) into the higher return type of men. It might be a really cool concept to talk about.
"i have been known to fall in love with someone who is getting their coffee" ... i take mine black no sugar , can i get you one Matthew ... or perhaps a proper tea?
Could you guys be any more adorable! Great video!
If someone is projecting a persona from my photograph to me before meeting, my heart sinks. Also means they just want to get laid, rather than feeling an emotional connection. Find it hard to being with an exciting intelligent person, but the disappointments is hard. When someone gets you it’s the best feeling, but the charm is always about wanting to get laid that night.
I had to laugh so hard. U guys are great!!! Thanks for the good advice, too 👍
Aww Steve is so cute! :D
Yay... your brother 💖
You guys are so funny!!! 😂
🙈 unfortunately I've been known to get carried away with the whole idea meeting "The one" so by the time the guy shows up already in love with the idea before hand🙈🙈 so yes 🙈
Absolutely loved you 2 together
Nice one
You’ve got a really good older brother .