I'm sorry for the trauma that you went thru as a child, especially from your father and siblings. I wanted to say I've been watching your videos over the years and even though I don't know you, I can tell that you are a beautiful person, inside and out. Any man would be very fortunate to have you in his life. God bless you. I hope you find what you're looking for, because you deserve it, you are a beautiful person.
1:38 I love these face to face, casual, light conversations myra. I like looking at people's face as if they are talking to me. That kinda content is rare on UA-cam. I always feel like I just had a social interaction after I watch your video, like I feel the same warmth. When we look someone in the eye as they speak it makes us humanize them as viewer, and understand that they are more complex than that. Right off the bat.
Myra, (this is my 1st time watching/commenting) I cannot begin to tell you accurately enough how grateful I am for what you are sharing... Since losing my mom, almost 2 years ago, I am missing that very precious female perspective, wisdom, and sensitivity that you brought so authentically, and yes: eloquently (no babbling) to this video. 🙏 I really like how raw this video is, like how a 🌼FLOWER 🌸arrangement lovingly made from a meadow by someone who truly cares, couldn't be replaced by a glitzy one from an anonymous store! 🙏Thank you also for quoting “Stay gold, Ponyboy”! 🙏Though from a different background, I do relate to a lot of what you went through (abuse, feeling invisible, hated the way I looked, etc) so to see how you were able to make gold from a coal-colored past is inspiring 🙏 I'm gonna continue this journey with you, wishing you the absolute best all along 🙏
@@loganswiss6903 this is so sweet. Thank you for this comment. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm happy you're here. And I appreciate the encouragement 🙏 🌷🌸💐
I've been glued to this for the full 55 minutes! I myself had a very similar childhood and it destroyed my self esteem as a youngster. I'm still working through a lot of the mess this caused me. I spent time studying Internal Family Systems (IFS) and have found this to be a fantastic guide for those who did not grow up in a healthy family structure. Meditation and inner work is also a huge part of my life these days. I use all these tools to "stay a float" and keep meaning alive in my life. You mentioned how you feel awkward talking to a camera and being authentic. The truth is you're very brave. I wish I could just open up and tell my story as well but I'm still too private about my internal issues resulting from my past. I try to get the words out and this stupid ego-self of mine constantly puts lipstick on the pig and waters down my intentions. You're exceptionally good at being raw and true! This is very refreshing and inspiring to me since I have always had great difficulty opening up about my past. I spent years in the pursuit of acquiring positions, possessions and "powers" to build a wall around myself to keep my past out and the memories just pass right through those walls! Going inside, deep inside while being 100% honest with ourselves and others takes courage and heart!
You are incredible. Love you from Donetsk. Amidst the artillery cannonade and flying drones your videos literally make me want to live. I have issues very similar to yours, and my heart goes to you with all the passion. You deserve the best from life and you will get it. And your example will be encouragement to many people.
Wow! So sorry about what you had to go through! I had a screwed up family life early on. So, I can relate to some degree! Remember one thing though: You're ok just as you are. You're a very delightful person too! Keep working on yourself! You're truly a survivor!
30:14 man that whole part about not being vulnerable out of fear of rejection is super relatable and thought provoking. Thank you for saying it, I have to record it for later.
Flower. So glad to have watched this video. I'd been following your channel on and off for the last few years, but there is so much I didn't realise or understand about you in all this time. It's so brave of you to put yourself out there and share all of this, just so that some people might find something to take away from it to make their own lives a little better. I found a bunch of key ideas to take away and process. Thank you. Also, I'm so glad you kept going until you found your own actual genuine way in life, and didn't just drift along on the auto-pilot of burnout. Hopefully this will motivate a few more of us, too. Stay true to yourself and i'm pretty sure you have a happy life ahead of you. P.s. do you publish any of your writing somewhere online?
Thank you for this comment. You said a lot of good things. I promise I WILL publish something in the future! I've wanted to put together a book of short stories. And I'm pretty much ready to do that now
Thank you for sharing such a very personal experience, That was very brave of you to open up like that, I can relate to what you said about fearing your Dad, My Step Dad was very similar, He was a very very angry abusive man when we were children, He is now in his 70s and none of his children talk to him, including myself who was his step son, My Mother left him when i was 18 for cheating, I'm now 40 and thought i could forgive him but some wounds never heal unfortunately, and believe me i tried so hard to forgive and love him, but that terrified child i was from 5 years old to 17 never forgets, My severe anxiety and flashbacks are the forever scars he left on me
It takes great strength to share something like this. And I think that building armor around you is like a doubled-edged sword. At the same time you try to show no weakness and show no emotions, but it somehow dries you inside. I think I met once old lady who said to me that you need to share you thoughts and feelings so that you will get something back. It is like trade. If you do not give anything to the table, you do not get anything back.
The first video I watched was your _"No Friends"_ video I could tell that you came from a fundamentalist Christian family. It seems to be an American thing.
Flower. This is such a great channel. I always draw either inspiration or gain knowledge from your videos. I am positive that you are helping your viewers by sharing your journey with us. The last five minutes of the video was so powerful for me . Thank you
I just wanted to say one more thing. At the beginning of this video I thought to myself "so she's just going to sit here and talk about herself? When has that ever worked for someone?" .. but at the end of this video, I'm absolutely blown away. Not disappointed. Very interesting and deep person! Keep em coming!
Flower! Thank you Myra for speaking your honest heart out and letting us know a lot more about yourself! I wish you the best and it's so lovely to see you being happy, content and the most important thing of all, being yourself!
Dear Heart, you are always a joy to listen to. I love your sincerity and clarity. I hope my son finds someone like you. Don't fret over stupid things people say. I love the way you share your life's journey.
Your purity and honesty is staggering, and so appreciated in a world of fake people. I just turned 31. A lot of us know exactly how you feel. We have your back ❤️. Just food for thought also, you have such a soothing voice. ASMR might be something to look into for you.
Thank you for this. It is beautiful in its sincerity. I have felt and feel a lot of the same things you do. It’s good to know I’m not alone. You are heard. I glad you found personal growth. I hope your healing continues.
Myra, this is a great introduction video about you. And it is true that it takes a lot of courage to share your being (it's a compliment to you). I miss the clues of things what have you learnt that changed you and your views. Also I like to know what your plan forward is in life. Good to know that you are happy! =)
Your videos have always been encouraging and empowering for me. Everything you said here is exactly what I experienced growing up. It's so true what you said at 21:43 because even though in childhood and teenage years we are never alone in what we go through, the most difficult part of it is we tend to feel like we are alone. In addition to that there's always the uncertainty of life that always changes. But as we grow older it's important for us to be aware of it and do our part to research and learn about topics like psychology and human behavior to learn more about ourselves using tools like the internet etc.... but there will always be more to learn because even though now I am 26, I am aware that I may feel like I have figured it out but there's always more to learn from future experiences than await me. At 29:48 I have also experienced the same. As always thank you so much Myra for being the role model, mentor and spiritual best friend whom I relate to and look up to.
Flower! Your home looks so safe and warm. The issues you speak of to me is not a UA-cam issue, but a human brain doing what it does best. The brain is designed to be energy efficient with with what it has on hand for stored information and what the senses can provide it. You can see an example of this with illusions of sight and sound and I'm sure you can see this in belief systems. Keep it up, you're doing great.
What strikes me as a father of 4, is that you father had the time to do an entire chapter of the bible with you 7 days a week but never showed you real love. I Work 60-70 hours a week and hardley have enough time for my kids, but the time i do have i try to show them love.
I have yet to watch this video in it's entirely, but your comment reminds me of this verse.... "And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I AM NOTHING." So even the Bible man father didn't follow the Bible. Good on you, sir, for showing love to your kids. I commend you for that.
@@krzysiukrul1183 it's not like i don't want to spend time with them. Inflation has ruined the dollar. I work hard so mom can be home with them 24/7 and not worry about money. If Trump can get rid of taxes on overtime that would help, over half my income is overtime
@@krzysiukrul1183 its not like i don't want to spend time with them. The dollar don't go as far as it did when i had them. I work hard so mom can stay home and not worry about money. If my favorite president gets reelected he says he wants to get rid of taxes on O.T. that would help half my income is O.T. I had to say my favorite because when i used his name my comment got taken down. The algos are working hard.
Flower🌸!!! I cant even imagine the trauma you went through as a child. Children should be loved and shown affection but that does not happen enough. I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. The moment I discovered your channel, I knew you were such a nice and wonderful person. I was a very shy and timid boy growing up. And I used to hide the fact that I'm gay all my life. And had to put on a facade so that nobody discovers the real me and bully me for it, but that was exhausting. Trying to be someone who you're not is exhausting. I finally have learnt to embrace myself. I no longer beat myself up for the little things I once used to. One motto I live by is that its not the end of the world. There's always a brighter tomorrow.
@@myrawest Would you be shocked to hear someone elses story that sounds exactly like yours that pre-dates your experience from long ago? I know so much from seeing your last two videos. I would like to speak with you by phone sometime if possible. For 10 years it was suggested that I do a podcast on childhood abuse and how it affects kids and adults but I never had the courage. I don't know all your details but I know enough. I was the youngest of 4 children and It's difficult to share sometimes. I have been writing a book for 30 years. It's a difficult subject to write about because in order to write about it you have to re-live it. I know your story because I know my story. Our mother was a vicious sadiatic child abuser that destroyed all four of us. My older brother suicided many years ago. I only learned that it was his third attempt at his funeral from one of my sisters. I have a photographic memory and remember everything. I have lifelong c-ptsd and so do my twin sisters. I know you because I know me.
Honestly Myra, you have a lot of relevant knowledge, I've noticed that while following your videos. You have a lot of innocence about you. Also with your beliefs, not a lot of people agree with your innocence and.... your strength to express your life online. Myself, I'm like that. I have very much life experience, maybe not as innocent as you, and still, many have a problem with me ( whichever all that is ), and I'm very traditional, so I understand your complications and frustrations. You're a firelight. Please.... keep shining on, knowing that you're.... AMAZING!
Flower! I was rivetted to your video from beginning to end, so many of your experiences and feelings resonated. About half way through, I thought: "there is a best selling book in this wonderful young lady's future". And then, you announced that you were a writer!
The dangerous power dynamics that can arise in isolated religious communities is hard to overstate. You deserved a much more supportive environment, and I'm sorry you experienced so much abuse as a child within your family. Considering you grew up in such an isolated environment, you show a lot of self-actualization and courage by expressing yourself to millions on the internet. Thanks for your content and authenticity, I appreciate all your videos.
Your story speaks of suffering, yes, but more importantly, it is a story of overcoming, a journey toward the deepest form of self-realization. You faced immense hardship, the weight of expectations, and the darkness of abuse, but instead of succumbing, you confronted your inner shadow and began the arduous task of dismantling the walls that once protected but also imprisoned you. This is the path of individuation, where you come face-to-face with your pain and, through self-awareness, find the courage to transform. In this struggle, you embody the will to power, not in dominance over others, but in the triumph over your own internal and external limitations. Vulnerability, far from being a weakness, is your greatest strength, for in showing your true self, you engage in the most courageous act of all: living authentically. Through this continual overcoming, you are not merely surviving but rising, creating meaning and value from the depth of your experiences. What has not killed you has made you stronger, and in this strength, you will find not only freedom but also greatness.
This video was extremely raw, and I resonate much with it. Very good for you to have the courage to share something like this… seems like there are a lot of broken children out here, coming from broken adults who may of never healed from their childhoods. It’s truly sad and it’s hard to remain wholesome when living with so much trauma, but the more that I continue to do it myself I’m beginning to feel that; I am to do great things in this world. Someday. That is if I haven’t already by the time I lost this comment. Because time is limitless, possibilities in life are limitless, each day may be a struggle but each day is also another day you and I are blessed with to live through another. May God bless you immensely Myra, I’m only 26 as well but I feel like my conscious has been around for centuries. Be well 🖤
@@mastertrader8144 I’ve suffered/am still suffering from it to. The damage are families can leave on us is tremendous, and usually (at least in my case) no one ever seems to understand you/believe you or let alone take the time to understand what actual pain has been caused from their diabolical ways. Therapy usually is no help, other family is usually no help, I’ve been friendless for about 5 years now after my best one sadly passed away in 2020.. so I feel it, believe me I know what it’s like. Besides… this may truly be just the journey God has set us out on to conquer, someday the wrongdoers will be no more than a foot stool when it comes to the problems this world has brought upon Gods *true* children. I pray that you and anyone struggling continues to stay in the fight, times will get better. They must, because change is inevitable.
I firmly believe there is hope for everyone who has childhood trauma. There is healing. If we are brave enough to look at the issues. I have improved so much in 7 years of working at it. I have a ways to go... but I am so much better. The biggest change we have to make is our relationship with ourselves. We must be an ally.... not our worst critic.
@@myrawest Oh I absolutely agree, there is always room for progression in anything we do in this life. Ultimately it’s up to how much a person is willing to endure, in order to see the glory out of their hardships. I truly wish you the best in everything you do Myra, you are extremely beautiful and seem really sweet; and I’ll tell ya… if I ever came across you in person I’d feel as if it’d be a sin not for me to approach you. I hope all is well in your world, take care and continue to shine 🤙
I have been following you from the beginning of your channel I think (the video about friendship) and I really loved watching this video. It was very claryifing indeed for me as a UA-cam viewer, but also someone who is about the same age figuring things out myself to get this in depth information about your background and your experience growing up and what you have learned since then. It felt so empowering, because I can notice that so many things have fallen more into place for you and that you came a long way. Thanks so much for always formulating your pure thoughts in these video's and letting us join you while you gather your insights about yourself. It is really valuable and kind of rare on UA-cam from what I know, and I think many people can relate to your thoughts. There is so many interesting things you said that I will probably watch this video again to learn more from it:) You're so wise!🌻
Hi Myra, when you said you were in the IBLP everything that you went through made sense. I was sad to hear about the abuse you endured and how you were isolated from the world. Despite all that you have gone through your authentic self shines through. A self assured, kind, wise woman. A woman that can now see the world through the insight of her heart, through the far seeing eyes of her love.
So im subscribing. Not typical for me with this type of channel, but im finding your perspective refreshing and your story interesting. You're very clearly a level headed person whi's dedicated to self growth. Thats rare to find these days. Dont let youtube commenters' opinions get to you. Glad you came across my feed. Ps. Flower. Made it to the end :)
Myra i think you're right about ppl not reflecting what they do and who they really are. From my experience ppl only do that when something goes horribly wrong and you hit rock bottom. It's only then when you pick yourself back up you realize who you really are.ö
Thank you for sharing! I can relate to a lot of your situation. I grew up in a strict religious family. I was the youngest with abusive parents and older siblings. (Hopefully you don’t also end up in an abusive marriage like I did.) I had very serious physical and mental health issues that I was shamed for. My entire life I thought I should be able to be better and do better but I was honestly sick and anxious all the time. It took me 41 years and a very serious health crisis to learn how truly ill I was and how I had pushed myself beyond my limits, trying to live up to other’s expectations. Then it took another 11 years to figure out how to heal my body, my anxiety, depression and mindset. I’m fifty two and I’m finally feeling good (still recovering my health), making my own decisions and living my best life!
Hi Myra, I finished up the video and glad to hear you are doing better and despite the stress and challenges, you can truly be who you want to be and we will be with you forever ♾. Hope to hear from you soon and keep on smiling with strive 😀😀😀😀
These videos are heart-breaking to me, but on the other hand, I'm so glad that you've come to these realizations at a very young age. Good for you; that is awesome. 👍🏽 I can relate to some of your experiences, but didn't start on my healing journey until I started middle age. You are a survivor that has your whole life ahead of you. Stay strong! 🔥
Another fascinating video Myra.You always provoke so many thoughts in my head as I watch and this one has given me plenty to think about. I think you're going to wake up one day and find that you've become one of those incredibly powerful, unstoppable women you were taught to hate. Oh, and ...🌻
Flower 🌸 I listened to this in the background while doing work - wow, you’re definitely an authentic and honest person! Thanks for sharing your upbringing and how you’ve become a better version of yourself as you’ve lived and gained experience. I wish I knew someone like you personally. It’s hard to find people who are vulnerable, authentic, and honest. I’d love to just chat about life, struggles, challenges, achievements, goals, ambitions, etc. Feels like there aren’t many people who are willing to open up and have a genuine chat; in my experience, people don’t share personal info. Growing up, I was bullied. It didn’t help that I was a super weird kid and had no social skills whatsoever. I’m doing better now - have a promising career, significantly improved my social skills and self-worth, and care less about what others think. I still experience times of self-doubt and a lack of self-worth, but I’ll keep pushing myself forward! 💪 One of my problems now is dating… such a challenge!
@@Dylan-ox5fb aww you're amazing. Love this comment. I agree. Vulnerability, authentically, honesty are pretty rare. That was my main goal for this channel. To be 100% real
@@myrawest authenticity and vulnerability really help, especially because what you share is relatable, and we all experience similar thoughts and feelings. What you have to be cautious of is emotionally investing in someone without reciprocation, and also consider you'll part ways with this person in the future - which can feel awful! Anyway, I like watching your content. Keep it up! :)
Flower. Thank you so much for sharing! This helps to put a lot in context as I think about your previous videos. I'm still curious about what might have happened with the folks in Santa Barbara, but no worries if that's not something you want to share. Anyway, hi from northern CA!
Hey! Flower 🌼😊 that group of people were mainly my roommate's friends, they were always a tightnit group.... and what bonded everyone was faith. My roommate and I were close... and now we're just in different states... Also drama went down (nothing big) when I and another girl liked the same guy 😅 after that I separated myself, just to not be heartbroken. I started deconstructing my faith and that led to me realizing I wasn't aligned with these people.. Now I have a group of friends who i am aligned with and close to.
Have always enjoyed your honesty and your videos, especially your visits to be with your sister in the oregon territory... the van-life thing was interesting too Genuinely desire comfort and safety for you, Myra
I love listening to you ramble Myra you're a bucket full of golden nuggets. Its like your very challenging childhood compressed and bottled up your spirit which was always going to break free eventually and is exploding like a bunch of delightful fireworks. 🧡 If I knew you in the real world I would be honoured to know you as a friend
That deep hate part is so true though, feel invisible, like I'm not actually a part of the population, no real worth. Overtime though (mainly this year) I remind myself that I wasn't put on this Earth to impress others, and life is still worth living. Hope we all have a great week.
I know you make your video's for teenage Girls, but they also hold value for me, a 50 year old man from Holland. I also grew up in a very emotionally abusive family and we all suffer from cptsd which clearly have affected our relationships and distrust of the world. I like learning from your stories and the female viewpoint. The way i learned to code with it (i believe in reincation) is that i often send back positive thoughts through time to my younger more vulnerable self. So my future self has become a source of strenght for moments of anxiety. Anyway thanks for what you do, from a kindred soul❤
Recently i started listening to eckhart tolle on podcast with ophra Winfrey. It puts things in perspective and helps with healing. I garden and do chores while listening it calms me down
Finding out you are an artist above all the other things like being passionate about animals and loving to think deeply is such a wonderful revelation! It really is. And artists, writers, composers... they don't get enough credit in this life on the huge contributions they make to daily life. As artists, we see things in a different way at times. More than others. Creative people have that special gift. I am glad you are embracing your gift. I can tell by how you decorate your place, it is full of passion and love. Be well and be safe wherever life finds you!
Never love your partner more than yourself when it's time to part ways or tolerate disrespect you're able to let go.Life is about enjoying "moments".Thank God as we grow we learn to value ourselves more and feel happy today not tomorrow.I'm amazed at how brave you are to talk about such deep feelings and sharing personal details of your life and not being scared of being judged.You have a beautiful Life ahead of you because you've learned soo much.Also even though your childhood was not the best,I truly admire you are still sweet😱.Proud of you!!!
I’m in the process of writing a book, one that I’ve had an idea about and written passages for here and there since highschool. I’m now 36. I’m dedicated to completing it now, started a month ago and going 500-1000 words a day strong. So just here to say keep at it and finish it now! Because in 10 years you’ll still be thinking about it. Same goes for anything unresolved in your life. Anyway hope it helps.
Sorry for commenting on multiple of your videos, but I wanted to say that I teared up when you talked about opening up, letting the walls down. I'm still struggling with it a lot, especially without the anonymity of the internet. I often also struggle with insight into my own emotions, seemingly drifting into a dissociative state for prolonged times. Concerning the missing self awareness in people, I think some of them just didn't struggle so much with life, so they never needed to be hyper-vigilant about themselves and the people around them. They had the support that allowed them to stay simple. 🌻
Don't ever worry about commenting! I love comments! I love hearing how people react to my videos. It's part of the conversation. I'm really sorry for your experiences. A lot of Trauma has to happen for someone to close up like that. Undoing that is not an overnight process. I've been working hard at it since I was 19, so 7 years now :0 There is way too much to say, but a lot of the process requires making yourself feel safe. Your body/nervous system is constantly scared, you have learned that you're always rejected (probably by family.) But it can go a Looooooong way to first work on self acceptance. Knowing that you are not broken. You are loveable. The real you is. The best way I've found to do that is through research, and understanding that all those harmful beliefs you have about yourself are not from you but were pounded into you when you were young. You now have the power to fight against that. Also, if you can, and if it's safe, try to force yourself to share something small about you that is real. Show the real you in some small way. Don't shame yourself either. Yes you do run the risk of rejection, but try to reteach yourself that being rejected by the wrong people is actually a good thing for you, because you need to attract people to you, who genuinly love the real you. I know it may not seem possible right now, but there ARE people who will love and accept who YOU ARE. All of this is take it or leave it ♡
@@myrawest Thank you for taking the time to reply in such a helpful manner. I'm also glad that I didn't over-comment. I'm trying to open up, but it often feels like I'm a burden if I do, which will make people want to leave me. Risking rejection is a scary step. Only in the last months did I start to realize that people might be way more accepting in general than I thought, but it still hard to know when it's ok to open up more. I really appreciate that you try to help your viewers and that you're so honest in your videos, it helps me to recover some hope to see that people like you are out there. I'm trying not to say sorry for wasting your time with me, so I will just say thank you for reading and have a safe, happy and healing day. 🐱
appreciate this video, thank you for sharing this :) people will probably continue to misinterpret you as the internet goes haha but glad you made this anyway cause I think its just something great for people to relate to. And hopefully it at least helps a few people be less judgy.
(Flower). Very interesting video. Really good to hear how you have grown and progressed from such a difficult childhood. I have been watching your videos for many years, but this has certainly helped me to understand you better. Hope you have a good week.
Thanks for sharing ... doing so can be difficult. I'll second what another respondent said about you being a good fit ASMR videos (making them) ... and I'll also encourage the interest you shared about writing a book about your experiences and emergence from them.
Flower Myra you’re amazing, I hope you have many moments where you feel so proud of how far you have come. I love listening to you and relate to parts as I’m sure so many do. Wishing you the best always ❤
This is so relatable. Not the Christian upbringing, but being a mature, self-aware child surrounded by people who were completely unconscious and honestly plain toxic. It's a lonely, sad path. But following our authenticity is the only option. We aren't meant to fit into this profoundly sick world, we are actually leaders, though we're usually the least confident, at least when younger. So refreshing to hear someone speaking all the things I feel and continue to struggle with in my 30's. Gives me hope to hear this kind of eloquence and intelligence coming from young people. Great video ❤️
Thanks for sharing. My senior trip involved going to a Bill Gothard seminar, it was on screen, he wasn't even there in person. We didn't have to make that the choice for our senior trip, we chose it. LOL. We were applauded for our choice as a class. A class of 8. I see info about it in my yearbook from 1991. Shiny happy people huh? I've only been aware of that shiny happy people thing for about a year now. I still don't know the full scope, nor the magnitude of the info nor the impact of the aftermath, and probably don't want to. I definitely get the gist.
Flower is an appropriate word to suggest considering how your room is decorated! It looked like you’ve got a wisteria growing in there. Over the past few years I’ve watched most, if not all, of your videos and have seen you growing and recovering emotionally. I’ve got to say that it’s impressive and I”m happy for you. I know people who suffered childhood abuse who haven’t done as well as you have. Did I get any nuggets from this video?… A few interesting tidbits about you for sure. It was good seeing you again. Love ya, Myra!
Wow you held the camera for an hour. Flower. 🌺 Definitely found some nuggets: Allow yourself to be a human. We move thru time. We change. Your past doesn't define you. We are forced to learn when we go thru struggles. About self-improvement, I've heard it said: "You are perfect as you are... and you can always be better." Instead of trying to do it all, or stress yourself out, it's just do something small that moves in the direction that you want to go. I also like thinking, but I've found that thinking doesn't replace practice or doing. It's like how some get caught in the trap of watching a UA-cam video and then thinking we are an expert in Automotive Mechanics or Astrophysics. Putting thoughts into practice is the only way to actually make it a part of you. And messing up is part of the process. Don't be afraid to be wrong sometimes. Sarcasm. Don't even get me started. Sarcasm is awesome, but unfortunately it doesn't come across in text very well. There is something that I've wanted to say for a while based on some of your previous videos, but I've not really been sure how to say it in a loving way. But since you've brought it up again, here is my best attempt: I hate labels. I hate labels because what one person hears when you say the label and what another person hears are completely different, because we all only see the world through our perspective though our unique experiences. I know you've had a very negative experience with these labels, but I want to help you untangle them so that it is easier for you to relate to more people. Most Christians have not had the experience you've had. In fact, the core of Christianity is love. Examples: 1 John 4; 1 Corinthians 13; John 3:16; Ephesians 5:25-33 Unfortunately, the world is full of people that take something good and twist it into some bad. And I'm sorry to hear that your family while trying to follow Christian beliefs was not very loving. That seems to me like an oxymoron. In the same way, conservative simply means tradition. Which is to say that we don't know what the best way to do things is, but based on our past we have an understanding of the things we've tried, what works and what doesn't. And so we should be hesitant to just change things for the sake of change. In my opinion, a healthy balance of conservation and progression is important. Unfortunately, it feels like conservative has also been twisted to mean backwards or unwilling to change. Honestly, I think the actual negativity didn't come from either of these beliefs, but rather how your family specifically lived their lives and treated each other and you. And I hope you can find a way to detangle these, so that you can relate to loving Christians instead of immediately writing them off because of a label that you've had a bad experience with. When you describe Feminism, same now as in previous videos, it doesn't sound like you are describing the mainstream belief at all. Which is quite a refreshing change. Encouraging those that are going through struggles is important and loving. And I see that as a powerful thing. But you've also alluded to the fact that some people even take Feminism too far, that it almost seems misandristic. And perhaps that shows you the same effect that happened with Christianity, that people over time twist labelled beliefs into something they were never intended to be. The greatest way to encourage others to not be closed off, is exactly what you're doing, leading by example. 💗
'Flower!'.... UA-cam will only show what you put up, being consistent is the only way to really show who you are, that way people get the see those happy days and those sad days. People will always fill in the blanks when they have no choice. I always try to put up a weekly video, often two in a week. Sadly religion can and does affect how children grow up, they see through it, and want to live in reality, but pulling away from all that brain washing is difficult. It takes real strength of character to learn the truth, let go of all that 'stuff' and live according to your own morals and follow your own dreams etc. I too have had to learn how to manage depression, anxiety and panic attacks, I too am an artist and a poet and have written 4 books, I have always been the tie-dye sheep of my family haha. This video, [apart from not looking at the camera], is a GREAT video and WILL help many people, it is the TRUTH and people will respect that. You have come such a long way, on a difficult journey, you are free now [as free as you can be]. Free to be you, free to live in the real world, free to let go of the past, and free to spread this message to many many people. You are very BRAVE, very. Well done x
I just saw your video on "I hate dating", I'm a 26 y/o straight man (no this isn't an audition lol) who's exhausted from modern dating through dating apps or whatever. I've been trying since 2016, and it's pointless. I had a car accident after a date in 2017 which traumatized me, someone used me in 2018, manipulated in 2019, and by 2020 when good chances and great people came my way, I was already emotionally unavailable to them because of the trauma; tried it again this year and the 3 people who genuinely interested me were so brainwashed by the pressure of forcing a relationship or connection in the FIRST FREAKING DATE. And I'm not going to lie, it hurts like a motherfucker every single time it doesn't work out. I'm not supposed to admit it because hey I'm a man and my feelings shouldn't be validated (at least the last 3 people I dated made me feel like that), so fuck anyone who expects me to change who I am and the things that I love - movies, my family, my friends, music - just because those things can fulfill my life without them. It's such an entitled approach that pisses me off from people who crave attention the entire time. You know who actually attracts me? People who already have their own goals and hobbies going on, and the relationships I've had were not even on those damn apps. You just gave me the push to just vent and delete the dating app I used, and keep doing my own thing. I don't know you, and you probably will never read this, but you really helped me indirectly at my breaking point. So I wish you the best in the future, keep pursuing your goals and interests, and I wish you the best life, you're an incredible human being who ironically gave me hope that not all people are all that bad. Cheers, and it felt nice to vent in an anonymous youtube comment.
Thanks for venting, and of course i read it. I read 99% of the comments :) I'm really glad the video helped and I too, deleted the apps. I don't think I'll try apps again. Let's get social in the real world. Work on yourself and heal. Go to therapy, and find love. I believe you can find love and are deserving of love even when you don't feel "ready." Real love can meet you where you're at
You give inner strength to many of us when you express your feelings of sadness trauma and anxiety and how you found ways to overcome these heavy anchors that hold us down Alot of us are not as good as you with getting out of these dark places and your help here is much appreciated
I starter to listen to you and I find you so honest that makes me wanna cry, and I am a bit simillar and I have a Notion I could tell you everthing and you would listen and understand. I’m a father now having 3 kids I love but do not have friends from young years and bit lonely .Respect to you and remember that you thoughts create your future life so wish you the best❤
Appreciate you sharing, Myra. I've been following your channel for a few years now. I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD recently due to my own childhood trauma. Not sure if you're familiar with the Crappy Childhood Fairy on YT? Her videos have been so helpful to me. I still have a lot of old anger issues. I isolate a lot, anxiety, etc. (My father was a PDF) I'm glad you are finding therapy helpful. I always look forward to your updates. I hope you have a good fall season. 🍃🍁🍂🎑
The flower motifs in the background work really well; really pleasant vibes. I suppose it wasn't much of a surprise when you said you were a writer; the writing you've shared on this channel in the past has been pretty excellent so it seemed pretty clear that was a skillset in which you excelled.
Flower, 36 mins in really resonated with me, i used fear as a motivator, i used to explain it to others " i was born in fear" ( as opposed to being born in sin)😅
About your dreams: maybe you can write short stories about certain defining moments in your life, and then talk about how you percieved it as it was happening, and how you changed your outlook on it as you became more aware over the years. That could really help people. It does not have to be based literally on your own life, as a writer you can kind of capture the life lessons in it. Lots of love on your journey ❤
I see your thorough in your life/ expression. And that a union with a partner in the future is utmost in your plans. All well and good. Please, make sure you leave room to grow, change to your best self. Sometimes, partners can be disappointed their beloved becomes more or less than what they expected.
Flower! 😅 I made it to the end! It’s late here in the UK, and I’m tired after a long week, but I couldn’t wait to finish watching this video. I love colors for their meanings-orange and purple are my favorites. Your colors have beautiful meanings too. I resonate deeply with your story. I’m the eldest of eight siblings, and we were raised in a very conservative church where we often felt overlooked and struggled to make friends. Anxiety, low self-esteem, and the challenge of being authentic with others, especially with girls, have been part of my journey too. There were times when I felt brokenhearted and distant from God. I spent a lot of time researching, studying psychology and theology, and reflecting on my life to understand myself better. At my lowest, I even saw narcissistic traits in myself and thought I was beyond hope. But God’s mercy lifted me up, healed my heart, and helped me feel love again. I’m so grateful that, through Him, I can love others more deeply than ever. I’m starting therapy next week and praying that God prepares me for the right person, so I can be a blessing to her. I really loved this video and encourage you to keep trusting the Lord for all that your heart desires. He knows you and has only good things in store for you. Be blessed!
14:12 I also almost viewed my dad in a similar way because when I was growing up I wasn't aware of many things outside the bubble of childlike innocence that I was trapped in. I wasn't aware of the fact that he had high blood pressure and bipolar disorder. I thought that there was something wrong with me or the way I think about things. As I look back, my observation tells me that he used certain phrases or choices of words to kind of make me feel metaphorically small. When I was going through puberty, I felt very vulnerable and uncomfortable because I wasn't ready for the changes. The voice changing phase was the most awkward part during that time. I don't want to share too much about that part of my life publicly but when I look back at my teenage years, my relationship with my father was overwhelming especially during the physical changes. I look back and realize that deep down in my heart I felt very much like a vulnerable teenage girl.
You've been more than authentic in your "content". The problem isn't in the way YOU come across: the problem is the way you are interpreted and through what lens that interpretation occurs. The vast majority of people who watch your content (and I'm sorry if you don't like hearing this) are attracted to you and because of this they end up projecting alot of themselves and what they want you to be onto you. In short, these people (not all, but alot) aren't listening to you. Of course you may disagree, you may just be naturally inclined to (and I get that), please don't interpret this as an attack: just trying to be sincere. If you've evidenced anything throughout your content, it's the value you place on sincerity. Thx for the videos! All the best!
Hang in there everyday it's knowledge that your SOUL learns. We all chose to be here at this time, anxiety comes but it will also go, I think patience is the key. Stay occupied there's a saying ROME wasn't built in a day. Hope that helps.
all your experiences good bad or indifferent you can control how it defines you or not at all Resilience Confidence and peace of mind with humbleness and compassion i wouldn't trade for anything its truly godlike we are all divine beings even the worse shows you the light by default because you know you dont want it so keep on keeping on peace love and light
Finally an advice for you guys who like Myra and are potential sole mates to her: remember she's said clearly she wants to build up relationship little by little and based upon lots of communication and meaningful discourse. Don't be afraid, follow those rules and she will open her heart to you. If she creates an alternative email for you to connect, go ahead. I'm sure she'll treat you with respect and consideration. Good luck...
![Vectors & Dot Product • Math for Game Devs [Part 1]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/MOYiVLEnhrw/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm sorry for the trauma that you went thru as a child, especially from your father and siblings. I wanted to say I've been watching your videos over the years and even though I don't know you, I can tell that you are a beautiful person, inside and out. Any man would be very fortunate to have you in his life. God bless you. I hope you find what you're looking for, because you deserve it, you are a beautiful person.
1:38 I love these face to face, casual, light conversations myra. I like looking at people's face as if they are talking to me. That kinda content is rare on UA-cam. I always feel like I just had a social interaction after I watch your video, like I feel the same warmth. When we look someone in the eye as they speak it makes us humanize them as viewer, and understand that they are more complex than that. Right off the bat.
Myra, (this is my 1st time watching/commenting) I cannot begin to tell you accurately enough how grateful I am for what you are sharing... Since losing my mom, almost 2 years ago, I am missing that very precious female perspective, wisdom, and sensitivity that you brought so authentically, and yes: eloquently (no babbling) to this video. 🙏 I really like how raw this video is, like how a 🌼FLOWER 🌸arrangement lovingly made from a meadow by someone who truly cares, couldn't be replaced by a glitzy one from an anonymous store! 🙏Thank you also for quoting “Stay gold, Ponyboy”! 🙏Though from a different background, I do relate to a lot of what you went through (abuse, feeling invisible, hated the way I looked, etc) so to see how you were able to make gold from a coal-colored past is inspiring 🙏 I'm gonna continue this journey with you, wishing you the absolute best all along 🙏
@@loganswiss6903 this is so sweet. Thank you for this comment. I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm happy you're here. And I appreciate the encouragement 🙏 🌷🌸💐
I've been glued to this for the full 55 minutes! I myself had a very similar childhood and it destroyed my self esteem as a youngster. I'm still working through a lot of the mess this caused me. I spent time studying Internal Family Systems (IFS) and have found this to be a fantastic guide for those who did not grow up in a healthy family structure. Meditation and inner work is also a huge part of my life these days. I use all these tools to "stay a float" and keep meaning alive in my life. You mentioned how you feel awkward talking to a camera and being authentic. The truth is you're very brave. I wish I could just open up and tell my story as well but I'm still too private about my internal issues resulting from my past. I try to get the words out and this stupid ego-self of mine constantly puts lipstick on the pig and waters down my intentions. You're exceptionally good at being raw and true! This is very refreshing and inspiring to me since I have always had great difficulty opening up about my past. I spent years in the pursuit of acquiring positions, possessions and "powers" to build a wall around myself to keep my past out and the memories just pass right through those walls! Going inside, deep inside while being 100% honest with ourselves and others takes courage and heart!
You are incredible. Love you from Donetsk. Amidst the artillery cannonade and flying drones your videos literally make me want to live. I have issues very similar to yours, and my heart goes to you with all the passion. You deserve the best from life and you will get it. And your example will be encouragement to many people.
Good luck pal 😢
Are the Russian military trying to keep you safe from the Ukrainian military?
Wow! So sorry about what you had to go through! I had a screwed up family life early on. So, I can relate to some degree! Remember one thing though: You're ok just as you are. You're a very delightful person too! Keep working on yourself! You're truly a survivor!
30:14 man that whole part about not being vulnerable out of fear of rejection is super relatable and thought provoking. Thank you for saying it, I have to record it for later.
I just think you’re a doll been watching since 23 and single keep it up you’re refreshing
Flower.
So glad to have watched this video. I'd been following your channel on and off for the last few years, but there is so much I didn't realise or understand about you in all this time. It's so brave of you to put yourself out there and share all of this, just so that some people might find something to take away from it to make their own lives a little better. I found a bunch of key ideas to take away and process. Thank you. Also, I'm so glad you kept going until you found your own actual genuine way in life, and didn't just drift along on the auto-pilot of burnout. Hopefully this will motivate a few more of us, too.
Stay true to yourself and i'm pretty sure you have a happy life ahead of you.
P.s. do you publish any of your writing somewhere online?
Thank you for this comment. You said a lot of good things.
I promise I WILL publish something in the future! I've wanted to put together a book of short stories. And I'm pretty much ready to do that now
@@myrawest I feared my dad too. A bully like my brother
Thank you for sharing such a very personal experience, That was very brave of you to open up like that, I can relate to what you said about fearing your Dad, My Step Dad was very similar,
He was a very very angry abusive man when we were children, He is now in his 70s and none of his children talk to him, including myself who was his step son, My Mother left him when i was 18 for cheating,
I'm now 40 and thought i could forgive him but some wounds never heal unfortunately, and believe me i tried so hard to forgive and love him, but that terrified child i was from 5 years old to 17 never forgets, My severe anxiety and flashbacks are the forever scars he left on me
It takes great strength to share something like this. And I think that building armor around you is like a doubled-edged sword. At the same time you try to show no weakness and show no emotions, but it somehow dries you inside. I think I met once old lady who said to me that you need to share you thoughts and feelings so that you will get something back. It is like trade. If you do not give anything to the table, you do not get anything back.
The first video I watched was your _"No Friends"_ video I could tell that you came from a fundamentalist Christian family. It seems to be an American thing.
Satan worked through Mediterranean idols that kept humanity at war which folded into the Roman Catholic Church states. The real church is acts 2.
Fundamentalism is some of the worst shit ever, I swear. Americans have to make everything just be that bit more extreme.
You are a genuine, thoughtful, lotus "flower" in bloom and a beacon of light to the world.
The world needs more people with qualities you’re portraying in this video.
Flower. This is such a great channel. I always draw either inspiration or gain knowledge from your videos. I am positive that you are helping your viewers by sharing your journey with us. The last five minutes of the video was so powerful for me . Thank you
❤🌸🌹🌷
I just wanted to say one more thing. At the beginning of this video I thought to myself "so she's just going to sit here and talk about herself? When has that ever worked for someone?" .. but at the end of this video, I'm absolutely blown away. Not disappointed. Very interesting and deep person! Keep em coming!
Thank you for sharing that. I appreciate it 🙏
Flower! Thank you Myra for speaking your honest heart out and letting us know a lot more about yourself! I wish you the best and it's so lovely to see you being happy, content and the most important thing of all, being yourself!
Awww thank you ❤
You're room looks fantastic, love the whole Flowery and plant vibe.
Dear Heart, you are always a joy to listen to. I love your sincerity and clarity. I hope my son finds someone like you. Don't fret over stupid things people say. I love the way you share your life's journey.
Your purity and honesty is staggering, and so appreciated in a world of fake people. I just turned 31. A lot of us know exactly how you feel. We have your back ❤️. Just food for thought also, you have such a soothing voice. ASMR might be something to look into for you.
Thank you for this. It is beautiful in its sincerity. I have felt and feel a lot of the same things you do. It’s good to know I’m not alone.
You are heard. I glad you found personal growth. I hope your healing continues.
Myra, this is a great introduction video about you. And it is true that it takes a lot of courage to share your being (it's a compliment to you). I miss the clues of things what have you learnt that changed you and your views. Also I like to know what your plan forward is in life. Good to know that you are happy! =)
Your videos have always been encouraging and empowering for me. Everything you said here is exactly what I experienced growing up. It's so true what you said at 21:43 because even though in childhood and teenage years we are never alone in what we go through, the most difficult part of it is we tend to feel like we are alone. In addition to that there's always the uncertainty of life that always changes. But as we grow older it's important for us to be aware of it and do our part to research and learn about topics like psychology and human behavior to learn more about ourselves using tools like the internet etc.... but there will always be more to learn because even though now I am 26, I am aware that I may feel like I have figured it out but there's always more to learn from future experiences than await me. At 29:48 I have also experienced the same. As always thank you so much Myra for being the role model, mentor and spiritual best friend whom I relate to and look up to.
Flower!
Your home looks so safe and warm. The issues you speak of to me is not a UA-cam issue, but a human brain doing what it does best. The brain is designed to be energy efficient with with what it has on hand for stored information and what the senses can provide it. You can see an example of this with illusions of sight and sound and I'm sure you can see this in belief systems.
Keep it up, you're doing great.
What strikes me as a father of 4, is that you father had the time to do an entire chapter of the bible with you 7 days a week but never showed you real love. I Work 60-70 hours a week and hardley have enough time for my kids, but the time i do have i try to show them love.
I have yet to watch this video in it's entirely, but your comment reminds me of this verse....
"And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I AM NOTHING."
So even the Bible man father didn't follow the Bible. Good on you, sir, for showing love to your kids. I commend you for that.
why would you have FOUR kids if you don't have time to spend time with them?
@@stickman2012His conception of love was based on his own experience of it. He loved his family in the only way he knew.
@@krzysiukrul1183 it's not like i don't want to spend time with them. Inflation has ruined the dollar. I work hard so mom can be home with them 24/7 and not worry about money. If Trump can get rid of taxes on overtime that would help, over half my income is overtime
@@krzysiukrul1183 its not like i don't want to spend time with them. The dollar don't go as far as it did when i had them. I work hard so mom can stay home and not worry about money. If my favorite president gets reelected he says he wants to get rid of taxes on O.T. that would help half my income is O.T. I had to say my favorite because when i used his name my comment got taken down. The algos are working hard.
A long format! Excited to watch :)
Flower🌸!!! I cant even imagine the trauma you went through as a child. Children should be loved and shown affection but that does not happen enough. I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. The moment I discovered your channel, I knew you were such a nice and wonderful person. I was a very shy and timid boy growing up. And I used to hide the fact that I'm gay all my life. And had to put on a facade so that nobody discovers the real me and bully me for it, but that was exhausting. Trying to be someone who you're not is exhausting. I finally have learnt to embrace myself. I no longer beat myself up for the little things I once used to. One motto I live by is that its not the end of the world. There's always a brighter tomorrow.
Awww I love hearing how you've changed for the better and learned to embrace who you are ❤
@@myrawest
Would you be shocked to hear someone elses story that sounds exactly like yours that pre-dates your experience from long ago? I know so much from seeing your last two videos. I would like to speak with you by phone sometime if possible. For 10 years it was suggested that I do a podcast on childhood abuse and how it affects kids and adults but I never had the courage. I don't know all your details but I know enough. I was the youngest of 4 children and It's difficult to share sometimes. I have been writing a book for 30 years. It's a difficult subject to write about because in order to write about it you have to re-live it. I know your story because I know my story. Our mother was a vicious sadiatic child abuser that destroyed all four of us. My older brother suicided many years ago. I only learned that it was his third attempt at his funeral from one of my sisters. I have a photographic memory and remember everything. I have lifelong c-ptsd and so do my twin sisters. I know you because I know me.
Great video, Myra. Thank you for your openness, and honestly. I've always liked your videos; please keep doing them ❤❤❤
Flower. The truth is that you're not alone in your life's experience. A lot of what you said reminded me of my own life. Thank you for sharing.
@@deepakvenkatesh thank you 🌸🌹
Honestly Myra, you have a lot of relevant knowledge, I've noticed that while following your videos. You have a lot of innocence about you.
Also with your beliefs, not a lot of people agree with your innocence and.... your strength to express your life online.
Myself, I'm like that. I have very much life experience, maybe not as innocent as you, and still, many have a problem with me ( whichever all that is ), and I'm very traditional, so I understand your complications and frustrations.
You're a firelight. Please.... keep shining on, knowing that you're.... AMAZING!
I love this video, it’s great to get to know you a bit more. You grown so much, keep it up it gets better and better. 🌸
Flower! I was rivetted to your video from beginning to end, so many of your experiences and feelings resonated. About half way through, I thought: "there is a best selling book in this wonderful young lady's future". And then, you announced that you were a writer!
The dangerous power dynamics that can arise in isolated religious communities is hard to overstate. You deserved a much more supportive environment, and I'm sorry you experienced so much abuse as a child within your family. Considering you grew up in such an isolated environment, you show a lot of self-actualization and courage by expressing yourself to millions on the internet. Thanks for your content and authenticity, I appreciate all your videos.
Your story speaks of suffering, yes, but more importantly, it is a story of overcoming, a journey toward the deepest form of self-realization. You faced immense hardship, the weight of expectations, and the darkness of abuse, but instead of succumbing, you confronted your inner shadow and began the arduous task of dismantling the walls that once protected but also imprisoned you. This is the path of individuation, where you come face-to-face with your pain and, through self-awareness, find the courage to transform. In this struggle, you embody the will to power, not in dominance over others, but in the triumph over your own internal and external limitations. Vulnerability, far from being a weakness, is your greatest strength, for in showing your true self, you engage in the most courageous act of all: living authentically. Through this continual overcoming, you are not merely surviving but rising, creating meaning and value from the depth of your experiences. What has not killed you has made you stronger, and in this strength, you will find not only freedom but also greatness.
This is so encouraging and beautifully written, thank you 🙏
Omg, hugs. You deserve to heal. Let nature breathe her love into your heart and make you feel her eternal peace.
This video was extremely raw, and I resonate much with it. Very good for you to have the courage to share something like this… seems like there are a lot of broken children out here, coming from broken adults who may of never healed from their childhoods. It’s truly sad and it’s hard to remain wholesome when living with so much trauma, but the more that I continue to do it myself I’m beginning to feel that; I am to do great things in this world. Someday. That is if I haven’t already by the time I lost this comment. Because time is limitless, possibilities in life are limitless, each day may be a struggle but each day is also another day you and I are blessed with to live through another. May God bless you immensely Myra, I’m only 26 as well but I feel like my conscious has been around for centuries.
Be well 🖤
It is intergeneration trauma , i have observed the pattern is so strong it is really hard to break...😢
@@mastertrader8144 I’ve suffered/am still suffering from it to. The damage are families can leave on us is tremendous, and usually (at least in my case) no one ever seems to understand you/believe you or let alone take the time to understand what actual pain has been caused from their diabolical ways. Therapy usually is no help, other family is usually no help, I’ve been friendless for about 5 years now after my best one sadly passed away in 2020.. so I feel it, believe me I know what it’s like. Besides… this may truly be just the journey God has set us out on to conquer, someday the wrongdoers will be no more than a foot stool when it comes to the problems this world has brought upon Gods *true* children. I pray that you and anyone struggling continues to stay in the fight, times will get better. They must, because change is inevitable.
I firmly believe there is hope for everyone who has childhood trauma. There is healing. If we are brave enough to look at the issues. I have improved so much in 7 years of working at it. I have a ways to go... but I am so much better. The biggest change we have to make is our relationship with ourselves. We must be an ally.... not our worst critic.
@@myrawest Oh I absolutely agree, there is always room for progression in anything we do in this life. Ultimately it’s up to how much a person is willing to endure, in order to see the glory out of their hardships. I truly wish you the best in everything you do Myra, you are extremely beautiful and seem really sweet; and I’ll tell ya… if I ever came across you in person I’d feel as if it’d be a sin not for me to approach you. I hope all is well in your world, take care and continue to shine 🤙
I have been following you from the beginning of your channel I think (the video about friendship) and I really loved watching this video. It was very claryifing indeed for me as a UA-cam viewer, but also someone who is about the same age figuring things out myself to get this in depth information about your background and your experience growing up and what you have learned since then. It felt so empowering, because I can notice that so many things have fallen more into place for you and that you came a long way. Thanks so much for always formulating your pure thoughts in these video's and letting us join you while you gather your insights about yourself. It is really valuable and kind of rare on UA-cam from what I know, and I think many people can relate to your thoughts. There is so many interesting things you said that I will probably watch this video again to learn more from it:) You're so wise!🌻
Listening to your videos is quite enlightening. They expand my mind- one could say, like a blossoming flower.
Hi Myra, when you said you were in the IBLP everything that you went through made sense. I was sad to hear about the abuse you endured and how you were isolated from the world. Despite all that you have gone through your authentic self shines through. A self assured, kind, wise woman. A woman that can now see the world through the insight of her heart, through the far seeing eyes of her love.
I'm glad you escaped that awful past, Myra! WOW, what a hell it sounds like it was. I'm glad you are recovering.
Flower. I'm glad you have been able to break free and go on this journey in life to discover your true self. Very inspiring!
🌹🌸🌼🌷
So im subscribing. Not typical for me with this type of channel, but im finding your perspective refreshing and your story interesting. You're very clearly a level headed person whi's dedicated to self growth. Thats rare to find these days. Dont let youtube commenters' opinions get to you. Glad you came across my feed.
Ps. Flower. Made it to the end :)
Myra i think you're right about ppl not reflecting what they do and who they really are. From my experience ppl only do that when something goes horribly wrong and you hit rock bottom. It's only then when you pick yourself back up you realize who you really are.ö
Thank you, Myra! You are intelligent, clear and helpful. I wish the very best for you.
Thank you for sharing! I can relate to a lot of your situation. I grew up in a strict religious family. I was the youngest with abusive parents and older siblings. (Hopefully you don’t also end up in an abusive marriage like I did.) I had very serious physical and mental health issues that I was shamed for. My entire life I thought I should be able to be better and do better but I was honestly sick and anxious all the time. It took me 41 years and a very serious health crisis to learn how truly ill I was and how I had pushed myself beyond my limits, trying to live up to other’s expectations. Then it took another 11 years to figure out how to heal my body, my anxiety, depression and mindset. I’m fifty two and I’m finally feeling good (still recovering my health), making my own decisions and living my best life!
Hi Myra,
I finished up the video and glad to hear you are doing better and despite the stress and challenges, you can truly be who you want to be and we will be with you forever ♾.
Hope to hear from you soon and keep on smiling with strive 😀😀😀😀
These videos are heart-breaking to me, but on the other hand, I'm so glad that you've come to these realizations at a very young age. Good for you; that is awesome. 👍🏽 I can relate to some of your experiences, but didn't start on my healing journey until I started middle age. You are a survivor that has your whole life ahead of you. Stay strong! 🔥
Flower... Oh how I would have loved to grow old with a woman like you, very rare to find in this world. Thanks a lot for sharing YOU.
Another fascinating video Myra.You always provoke so many thoughts in my head as I watch and this one has given me plenty to think about. I think you're going to wake up one day and find that you've become one of those incredibly powerful, unstoppable women you were taught to hate.
Oh, and ...🌻
I love this comment. 🌸🌹🌼🌷
Flower 🌸 I listened to this in the background while doing work - wow, you’re definitely an authentic and honest person! Thanks for sharing your upbringing and how you’ve become a better version of yourself as you’ve lived and gained experience.
I wish I knew someone like you personally. It’s hard to find people who are vulnerable, authentic, and honest. I’d love to just chat about life, struggles, challenges, achievements, goals, ambitions, etc. Feels like there aren’t many people who are willing to open up and have a genuine chat; in my experience, people don’t share personal info.
Growing up, I was bullied. It didn’t help that I was a super weird kid and had no social skills whatsoever. I’m doing better now - have a promising career, significantly improved my social skills and self-worth, and care less about what others think. I still experience times of self-doubt and a lack of self-worth, but I’ll keep pushing myself forward! 💪
One of my problems now is dating… such a challenge!
@@Dylan-ox5fb aww you're amazing. Love this comment. I agree. Vulnerability, authentically, honesty are pretty rare. That was my main goal for this channel. To be 100% real
@@myrawest authenticity and vulnerability really help, especially because what you share is relatable, and we all experience similar thoughts and feelings.
What you have to be cautious of is emotionally investing in someone without reciprocation, and also consider you'll part ways with this person in the future - which can feel awful!
Anyway, I like watching your content. Keep it up! :)
l " ALWAYS !!! " watch your videos and find it very helpful you " GO !! " GIRL💖 keep up the good work
Flower. Thank you so much for sharing! This helps to put a lot in context as I think about your previous videos. I'm still curious about what might have happened with the folks in Santa Barbara, but no worries if that's not something you want to share. Anyway, hi from northern CA!
Hey! Flower 🌼😊 that group of people were mainly my roommate's friends, they were always a tightnit group.... and what bonded everyone was faith.
My roommate and I were close... and now we're just in different states...
Also drama went down (nothing big) when I and another girl liked the same guy 😅 after that I separated myself, just to not be heartbroken. I started deconstructing my faith and that led to me realizing I wasn't aligned with these people..
Now I have a group of friends who i am aligned with and close to.
Have always enjoyed your honesty and your videos, especially your visits to be with your sister in the oregon territory... the van-life thing was interesting too
Genuinely desire comfort and safety for you, Myra
I love listening to you ramble Myra you're a bucket full of golden nuggets.
Its like your very challenging childhood compressed and bottled up your spirit which was always going to break free eventually and is exploding like a bunch of delightful fireworks. 🧡
If I knew you in the real world I would be honoured to know you as a friend
That deep hate part is so true though, feel invisible, like I'm not actually a part of the population, no real worth. Overtime though (mainly this year) I remind myself that I wasn't put on this Earth to impress others, and life is still worth living. Hope we all have a great week.
🌺🌷🌸 Love love love this, and you. ✨💗✨
Well said. I truly get it all.
😊🌼🌸🌹
I know you make your video's for teenage Girls, but they also hold value for me, a 50 year old man from Holland. I also grew up in a very emotionally abusive family and we all suffer from cptsd which clearly have affected our relationships and distrust of the world. I like learning from your stories and the female viewpoint. The way i learned to code with it (i believe in reincation) is that i often send back positive thoughts through time to my younger more vulnerable self. So my future self has become a source of strenght for moments of anxiety. Anyway thanks for what you do, from a kindred soul❤
Recently i started listening to eckhart tolle on podcast with ophra Winfrey. It puts things in perspective and helps with healing. I garden and do chores while listening it calms me down
Finding out you are an artist above all the other things like being passionate about animals and loving to think deeply is such a wonderful revelation!
It really is. And artists, writers, composers... they don't get enough credit in this life on the huge contributions they make to daily life.
As artists, we see things in a different way at times. More than others.
Creative people have that special gift.
I am glad you are embracing your gift. I can tell by how you decorate your place, it is full of passion and love.
Be well and be safe wherever life finds you!
oh... and Flower!
Thank you for this 🌸🌹🪻🌼 I love artists and value all art.
Never love your partner more than yourself when it's time to part ways or tolerate disrespect you're able to let go.Life is about enjoying "moments".Thank God as we grow we learn to value ourselves more and feel happy today not tomorrow.I'm amazed at how brave you are to talk about such deep feelings and sharing personal details of your life and not being scared of being judged.You have a beautiful Life ahead of you because you've learned soo much.Also even though your childhood was not the best,I truly admire you are still sweet😱.Proud of you!!!
I’m in the process of writing a book, one that I’ve had an idea about and written passages for here and there since highschool. I’m now 36. I’m dedicated to completing it now, started a month ago and going 500-1000 words a day strong. So just here to say keep at it and finish it now! Because in 10 years you’ll still be thinking about it. Same goes for anything unresolved in your life. Anyway hope it helps.
Sorry for commenting on multiple of your videos, but I wanted to say that I teared up when you talked about opening up, letting the walls down. I'm still struggling with it a lot, especially without the anonymity of the internet. I often also struggle with insight into my own emotions, seemingly drifting into a dissociative state for prolonged times.
Concerning the missing self awareness in people, I think some of them just didn't struggle so much with life, so they never needed to be hyper-vigilant about themselves and the people around them. They had the support that allowed them to stay simple. 🌻
Don't ever worry about commenting! I love comments! I love hearing how people react to my videos. It's part of the conversation.
I'm really sorry for your experiences. A lot of Trauma has to happen for someone to close up like that. Undoing that is not an overnight process. I've been working hard at it since I was 19, so 7 years now :0
There is way too much to say, but a lot of the process requires making yourself feel safe. Your body/nervous system is constantly scared, you have learned that you're always rejected (probably by family.) But it can go a Looooooong way to first work on self acceptance. Knowing that you are not broken. You are loveable. The real you is.
The best way I've found to do that is through research, and understanding that all those harmful beliefs you have about yourself are not from you but were pounded into you when you were young.
You now have the power to fight against that.
Also, if you can, and if it's safe, try to force yourself to share something small about you that is real. Show the real you in some small way. Don't shame yourself either.
Yes you do run the risk of rejection, but try to reteach yourself that being rejected by the wrong people is actually a good thing for you, because you need to attract people to you, who genuinly love the real you. I know it may not seem possible right now, but there ARE people who will love and accept who YOU ARE.
All of this is take it or leave it ♡
@@myrawest Thank you for taking the time to reply in such a helpful manner. I'm also glad that I didn't over-comment.
I'm trying to open up, but it often feels like I'm a burden if I do, which will make people want to leave me. Risking rejection is a scary step.
Only in the last months did I start to realize that people might be way more accepting in general than I thought, but it still hard to know when it's ok to open up more.
I really appreciate that you try to help your viewers and that you're so honest in your videos, it helps me to recover some hope to see that people like you are out there.
I'm trying not to say sorry for wasting your time with me, so I will just say thank you for reading and have a safe, happy and healing day.
🐱
You are brilliant beyond your years. Really, you’ve got so much value to share through your voice, i can’t wait for future videos.
🌸
Thank you 🙏 🌸🌹🌼
I am sorry to hear this, you are such a strong woman. Remember, every day is a victory.
Flower. 😊 This video was a good one. And made me wanna give you a big and a smile! Best wishes from a cold, and soon snowy Sweden. ☃️🇸🇪
appreciate this video, thank you for sharing this :)
people will probably continue to misinterpret you as the internet goes haha
but glad you made this anyway cause I think its just something great for people to relate to.
And hopefully it at least helps a few people be less judgy.
(Flower). Very interesting video. Really good to hear how you have grown and progressed from such a difficult childhood. I have been watching your videos for many years, but this has certainly helped me to understand you better. Hope you have a good week.
Thanks for sharing ... doing so can be difficult. I'll second what another respondent said about you being a good fit ASMR videos (making them) ... and I'll also encourage the interest you shared about writing a book about your experiences and emergence from them.
Flower
Myra you’re amazing, I hope you have many moments where you feel so proud of how far you have come. I love listening to you and relate to parts as I’m sure so many do. Wishing you the best always ❤
This is so relatable. Not the Christian upbringing, but being a mature, self-aware child surrounded by people who were completely unconscious and honestly plain toxic. It's a lonely, sad path. But following our authenticity is the only option. We aren't meant to fit into this profoundly sick world, we are actually leaders, though we're usually the least confident, at least when younger. So refreshing to hear someone speaking all the things I feel and continue to struggle with in my 30's. Gives me hope to hear this kind of eloquence and intelligence coming from young people. Great video ❤️
Thanks for sharing. My senior trip involved going to a Bill Gothard seminar, it was on screen, he wasn't even there in person. We didn't have to make that the choice for our senior trip, we chose it. LOL. We were applauded for our choice as a class. A class of 8. I see info about it in my yearbook from 1991. Shiny happy people huh? I've only been aware of that shiny happy people thing for about a year now. I still don't know the full scope, nor the magnitude of the info nor the impact of the aftermath, and probably don't want to. I definitely get the gist.
Flower is an appropriate word to suggest considering how your room is decorated! It looked like you’ve got a wisteria growing in there. Over the past few years I’ve watched most, if not all, of your videos and have seen you growing and recovering emotionally. I’ve got to say that it’s impressive and I”m happy for you. I know people who suffered childhood abuse who haven’t done as well as you have. Did I get any nuggets from this video?… A few interesting tidbits about you for sure. It was good seeing you again. Love ya, Myra!
Wow you held the camera for an hour. Flower. 🌺
Definitely found some nuggets: Allow yourself to be a human. We move thru time. We change. Your past doesn't define you.
We are forced to learn when we go thru struggles.
About self-improvement, I've heard it said: "You are perfect as you are... and you can always be better." Instead of trying to do it all, or stress yourself out, it's just do something small that moves in the direction that you want to go.
I also like thinking, but I've found that thinking doesn't replace practice or doing. It's like how some get caught in the trap of watching a UA-cam video and then thinking we are an expert in Automotive Mechanics or Astrophysics. Putting thoughts into practice is the only way to actually make it a part of you. And messing up is part of the process. Don't be afraid to be wrong sometimes.
Sarcasm. Don't even get me started. Sarcasm is awesome, but unfortunately it doesn't come across in text very well.
There is something that I've wanted to say for a while based on some of your previous videos, but I've not really been sure how to say it in a loving way. But since you've brought it up again, here is my best attempt:
I hate labels. I hate labels because what one person hears when you say the label and what another person hears are completely different, because we all only see the world through our perspective though our unique experiences.
I know you've had a very negative experience with these labels, but I want to help you untangle them so that it is easier for you to relate to more people.
Most Christians have not had the experience you've had. In fact, the core of Christianity is love.
Examples: 1 John 4; 1 Corinthians 13; John 3:16; Ephesians 5:25-33
Unfortunately, the world is full of people that take something good and twist it into some bad. And I'm sorry to hear that your family while trying to follow Christian beliefs was not very loving. That seems to me like an oxymoron.
In the same way, conservative simply means tradition. Which is to say that we don't know what the best way to do things is, but based on our past we have an understanding of the things we've tried, what works and what doesn't. And so we should be hesitant to just change things for the sake of change. In my opinion, a healthy balance of conservation and progression is important. Unfortunately, it feels like conservative has also been twisted to mean backwards or unwilling to change.
Honestly, I think the actual negativity didn't come from either of these beliefs, but rather how your family specifically lived their lives and treated each other and you. And I hope you can find a way to detangle these, so that you can relate to loving Christians instead of immediately writing them off because of a label that you've had a bad experience with.
When you describe Feminism, same now as in previous videos, it doesn't sound like you are describing the mainstream belief at all. Which is quite a refreshing change. Encouraging those that are going through struggles is important and loving. And I see that as a powerful thing. But you've also alluded to the fact that some people even take Feminism too far, that it almost seems misandristic. And perhaps that shows you the same effect that happened with Christianity, that people over time twist labelled beliefs into something they were never intended to be.
The greatest way to encourage others to not be closed off, is exactly what you're doing, leading by example. 💗
'Flower!'.... UA-cam will only show what you put up, being consistent is the only way to really show who you are, that way people get the see those happy days and those sad days. People will always fill in the blanks when they have no choice. I always try to put up a weekly video, often two in a week. Sadly religion can and does affect how children grow up, they see through it, and want to live in reality, but pulling away from all that brain washing is difficult. It takes real strength of character to learn the truth, let go of all that 'stuff' and live according to your own morals and follow your own dreams etc. I too have had to learn how to manage depression, anxiety and panic attacks, I too am an artist and a poet and have written 4 books, I have always been the tie-dye sheep of my family haha. This video, [apart from not looking at the camera], is a GREAT video and WILL help many people, it is the TRUTH and people will respect that. You have come such a long way, on a difficult journey, you are free now [as free as you can be]. Free to be you, free to live in the real world, free to let go of the past, and free to spread this message to many many people. You are very BRAVE, very. Well done x
You are an inspiration for me. Have a wonderful weekend!
Thank You for sharing things about your childhood that some of us have difficulty acknowledging or talking about!
I just saw your video on "I hate dating", I'm a 26 y/o straight man (no this isn't an audition lol) who's exhausted from modern dating through dating apps or whatever.
I've been trying since 2016, and it's pointless. I had a car accident after a date in 2017 which traumatized me, someone used me in 2018, manipulated in 2019, and by 2020 when good chances and great people came my way, I was already emotionally unavailable to them because of the trauma; tried it again this year and the 3 people who genuinely interested me were so brainwashed by the pressure of forcing a relationship or connection in the FIRST FREAKING DATE. And I'm not going to lie, it hurts like a motherfucker every single time it doesn't work out.
I'm not supposed to admit it because hey I'm a man and my feelings shouldn't be validated (at least the last 3 people I dated made me feel like that), so fuck anyone who expects me to change who I am and the things that I love - movies, my family, my friends, music - just because those things can fulfill my life without them. It's such an entitled approach that pisses me off from people who crave attention the entire time. You know who actually attracts me? People who already have their own goals and hobbies going on, and the relationships I've had were not even on those damn apps.
You just gave me the push to just vent and delete the dating app I used, and keep doing my own thing.
I don't know you, and you probably will never read this, but you really helped me indirectly at my breaking point. So I wish you the best in the future, keep pursuing your goals and interests, and I wish you the best life, you're an incredible human being who ironically gave me hope that not all people are all that bad.
Cheers, and it felt nice to vent in an anonymous youtube comment.
Thanks for venting, and of course i read it. I read 99% of the comments :)
I'm really glad the video helped and I too, deleted the apps. I don't think I'll try apps again. Let's get social in the real world.
Work on yourself and heal. Go to therapy, and find love. I believe you can find love and are deserving of love even when you don't feel "ready." Real love can meet you where you're at
Thank you Myra
Thank you so much for this ♡🙏
You give inner strength to many of us when you express your feelings of sadness trauma and anxiety and how you found ways to overcome these heavy anchors that hold us down Alot of us are not as good as you with getting out of these dark places and your help here is much appreciated
Flower 🌺 adored this video. Pleaseeee do the MBTI personality test, it'd be fascinating to see!
I starter to listen to you and I find you so honest that makes me wanna cry, and I am a bit simillar and I have a Notion I could tell you everthing and you would listen and understand. I’m a father now having 3 kids I love but do not have friends from young years and bit lonely .Respect to you and remember that you thoughts create your future life so wish you the best❤
Appreciate you sharing, Myra. I've been following your channel for a few years now. I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD recently due to my own childhood trauma. Not sure if you're familiar with the Crappy Childhood Fairy on YT? Her videos have been so helpful to me. I still have a lot of old anger issues. I isolate a lot, anxiety, etc. (My father was a PDF) I'm glad you are finding therapy helpful. I always look forward to your updates. I hope you have a good fall season. 🍃🍁🍂🎑
The flower motifs in the background work really well; really pleasant vibes.
I suppose it wasn't much of a surprise when you said you were a writer; the writing you've shared on this channel in the past has been pretty excellent so it seemed pretty clear that was a skillset in which you excelled.
Flower, 36 mins in really resonated with me, i used fear as a motivator, i used to explain it to others " i was born in fear" ( as opposed to being born in sin)😅
About your dreams: maybe you can write short stories about certain defining moments in your life, and then talk about how you percieved it as it was happening, and how you changed your outlook on it as you became more aware over the years. That could really help people. It does not have to be based literally on your own life, as a writer you can kind of capture the life lessons in it. Lots of love on your journey ❤
I see your thorough in your life/ expression. And that a union with a partner in the future is utmost in your plans. All well and good. Please, make sure you leave room to grow, change to your best self. Sometimes, partners can be disappointed their beloved becomes more or less than what they expected.
Flower! 😅 I made it to the end! It’s late here in the UK, and I’m tired after a long week, but I couldn’t wait to finish watching this video. I love colors for their meanings-orange and purple are my favorites. Your colors have beautiful meanings too. I resonate deeply with your story. I’m the eldest of eight siblings, and we were raised in a very conservative church where we often felt overlooked and struggled to make friends. Anxiety, low self-esteem, and the challenge of being authentic with others, especially with girls, have been part of my journey too. There were times when I felt brokenhearted and distant from God.
I spent a lot of time researching, studying psychology and theology, and reflecting on my life to understand myself better. At my lowest, I even saw narcissistic traits in myself and thought I was beyond hope. But God’s mercy lifted me up, healed my heart, and helped me feel love again. I’m so grateful that, through Him, I can love others more deeply than ever. I’m starting therapy next week and praying that God prepares me for the right person, so I can be a blessing to her.
I really loved this video and encourage you to keep trusting the Lord for all that your heart desires. He knows you and has only good things in store for you. Be blessed!
I made it.
🌹🌺🌼🌻⚘
You're amazing, the world needs more people like you, wish I had more friends who are like you.
🌸🌼🌹
14:12 I also almost viewed my dad in a similar way because when I was growing up I wasn't aware of many things outside the bubble of childlike innocence that I was trapped in. I wasn't aware of the fact that he had high blood pressure and bipolar disorder. I thought that there was something wrong with me or the way I think about things. As I look back, my observation tells me that he used certain phrases or choices of words to kind of make me feel metaphorically small. When I was going through puberty, I felt very vulnerable and uncomfortable because I wasn't ready for the changes. The voice changing phase was the most awkward part during that time. I don't want to share too much about that part of my life publicly but when I look back at my teenage years, my relationship with my father was overwhelming especially during the physical changes. I look back and realize that deep down in my heart I felt very much like a vulnerable teenage girl.
Hey, keep up the good work with this channel!
Despite turbulent childhood you are amazing personality.
We do like your channel.
There are more ways to clearing the past.
You've been more than authentic in your "content". The problem isn't in the way YOU come across: the problem is the way you are interpreted and through what lens that interpretation occurs. The vast majority of people who watch your content (and I'm sorry if you don't like hearing this) are attracted to you and because of this they end up projecting alot of themselves and what they want you to be onto you. In short, these people (not all, but alot) aren't listening to you.
Of course you may disagree, you may just be naturally inclined to (and I get that), please don't interpret this as an attack: just trying to be sincere. If you've evidenced anything throughout your content, it's the value you place on sincerity.
Thx for the videos! All the best!
Hang in there everyday it's knowledge that your SOUL learns. We all chose to be here at this time, anxiety comes but it will also go, I think patience is the key. Stay occupied there's a saying ROME wasn't built in a day. Hope that helps.
Love the openness and realness of u nice life’s reflection
0:32 your videos keep getting more aesthetically pleasing
You're definitely braver than I am... Thank you for being you! Peace ✌️
all your experiences good bad or indifferent you can control how it defines you or not at all Resilience Confidence and peace of mind with humbleness and compassion i wouldn't trade for anything its truly godlike we are all divine beings even the worse shows you the light by default because you know you dont want it so keep on keeping on peace love and light
Found lots and lots
of nuggets in your vid.
You help us build
self-esteem and self-awareness.
Thanks
Flower. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I feel like I have received a great gift.
Finally an advice for you guys who like Myra and are potential sole mates to her: remember she's said clearly she wants to build up relationship little by little and based upon lots of communication and meaningful discourse. Don't be afraid, follow those rules and she will open her heart to you. If she creates an alternative email for you to connect, go ahead. I'm sure she'll treat you with respect and consideration. Good luck...
Remember she's not a maniac nor depressed. She's just healing from young, emotional traumas. You could helper in that.