Spice Girls’ Mel B says she wouldn't call police over domestic abuse - BBC Newsnight
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- Опубліковано 1 бер 2023
- Melanie Brown, known as Mel B, is a member of one of the most successful female bands in the world, the Spice Girls.
She's also a mum of three daughters, a businesswoman and a survivor of domestic abuse - like nearly 2 million women and 700,000 men in England and Wales.
Melanie Brown endured a traumatic ten year marriage and has since become a campaigner for the rights of domestic abuse victims by becoming a patron of the charity Women's Aid.
She tells Newsnight in an exclusive interview she wants a root and branch reform of how the UK approaches the issue - from the criminal justice system, to education in schools, to the police - and she reveals she wouldn't call the police to report domestic abuse because she wouldn't trust them to take it seriously.
If you've been affected by domestic abuse or controlling behaviour, help and support is available via the BBC Action Line.
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I’ve noticed something and maybe it’s just me; but Mel has that thousand yard stare almost, the look that comes usually with severe trauma. I’m so proud of her for taking the steps towards being happy again and taking her life back. She is a wonder woman and I wish her nothing but endless peace
I have noticed that as well.she has been through so much hell I think she hasn't fully recovered from the trauma
❤️
@@BerryNiceToMeetYouI call it the over the top Botox stare. High dosage could do that to you. Wish these ladies would stop injecting themselves. They are beautiful just the way they are.
Yeah I’ve noticed this aswell for a while never knew what it really was till recently.
Mel B is exactly right
Even a STRONG woman like Mel can be a victim of domestic violence. She’s a HERO for speaking out. #GirlPower
*heroine
@@HumansAreShitFactories they don't even know that word 🙄. "girl" power, eh?
The word "hero" is an archetype and can be used to describe males or females
@@HumansAreShitFactories *hero. Not heroine. It's 2023.
@@crystalaustralia you're right. They're clearly a bit thick. Hero is fine.
This doesn’t just happen with ‘romantic’ partners it happens with parents towards their children too it’s everywhere
💯. It sure does
It's true but it's a different kind of domestic abuse so I would not even compare the two. Children are minors they are dependent of their parents on every level and those parents have rights on them. So the level of difficulty they have is on a completely different level. They can't just stand up and go. They can't remove a ring, get a new place and sign divorce papers. Plus society does not even believe children's voice...
Yep bang on
It really does!
Bingo
She's hit the nail on the head. Abuse is awful.
Woman cause alot of mental abuse
Lies again? Protect Mission Dallas Bull S**t
Right; but, we knew abuse was "awful", before she said it.
@@Solutions3000 As someone going through it for six years, I can tell you that before it started, I had a very different feeling about it. I knew it was bad, but I didn't realize how pervasive and insidious it is. It lurks in every corner. If people were being assaulted by random others as frequently as people are being assaulted by their partner, a national crisis would be declared. It's a complicated issue that the legal and healthcare systems have not figured out because there isn't much funding for it. It's one of those things that is not talked about openly due to fear and the logistics or that kind of relationship. It's also metaphorical for power imbalances that we as a society are fearful to address. Crucially, it mainly affects women. I highly doubt misogyny will ever completely be eradicated; it's 'trendy' right now which is very concerning. Before being abused, I lived in a world where I didn't really even think about being female. I was just me. I was raped once, but just once, so it wasn't the same as consistent abuse. Now I am acutely aware of the fact that I am female and small and there are men out there that prey on girls.
Since when is abuse awful
I think it's so great she's speaking out as with her public persona; confident and assertive, she is the last person you would think could be abused but it can happen to anyone.
YOU make your own choices
@@January. I don't know what you mean
@@January. YOU show your ignorance.
@@xhogun8578 No one can make an adult do anything they don't choose to do unless it's by physical force or at gunpoint. YOU are an ignoramus.
亜高輪間話藁家跡
Two sides to every story. Maybe she was the abuser
Amazing- phycological abuse damages the victim for a life time. Cohesive and narcissistic abusing is truly life threatening. Glad you’re rebuilding your life. Anyone who’s in that situation you have my heart 💜
This is so true.
I been there too. And I see a therapist and ask him why after so many years I still am afraid of some things. I have a hard time to accept of it all...
@@GD-xc4wg ❤️❤️.
And it’s so sad that the abuse has turned into an alarming numbers of murders. Because when the women finally says, enough is enough, he murders her. It happens in all groups, no matter the color or class, but it happens more in the group I’m from. My mom escaped with us back in 70s to save us. In the US, Black men kills over 2000 Black women yearly. But it’s an epidemic throughout many parts of the world! In many South American countries it’s very bad also!
Thank you ❤
I’m going threw it I want them all in jail
Unless you've gone through it, and sadly many have, you can't fully understand. The brain washing, manipulation, love bombing, control and sheer terror you go through it can only be compared to hell. Please don't ever tell a survivor to "get over it" that trauma is for life. Mel you are a warrior! It takes courage and guts to speak out. You are never alone.
Very true, happened to me
Women are never responsible for relationship fights ,it's always the man ,as women are perfect.
She's an absolute witch and your believing her 😂😂😂
@@talkshitko9234
There is abuse towards men too
Get over it 🙄
💯
We’ll done Mel!!!! She’s not wrong, it’s been nearly 16 years and I’m still dealing with the fallout! Proud of her for doing this and showing everyone however they identify that you are not alone ❤
I applaud Mel for speaking out my mum went through it in the 80s and 90s with my dad and back then no one gave a fuck especially the police they used to occasionally nick my dad my for the night and then turf him out back to us the next day. The one time the took photos of the damage he did in the house and my mums injuries they supposedly "lost" them when she requested them to use in her divorce. The problem is the police and the court's response to DV victims and their families. The abuser always has more rights than them they get access to the kids and use that and the kids to further make their spouse's life a misery! The courts need to stop giving abusers the means to abuse and start putting the victims rights and safety first! The police need to sit up and realise their attitude to victims is why no one comes forward
Lorraine I can so relate to you. I still have terrible anxiousness from abuse as a little girl to abuse as an adult. From my dad's narcissistic abuse to my kids dad and then others including friends. I know have no trust and find myself on my own. But so content and so more at ease with myself.
Me too🤝
I wish you healing and peace ✨
@@marshgirl wishing you lots of healing & peace too 💗
Real men don’t use power, abuse, coercion, or trust against their partners.
Only the weak, scared ones.
Real partners bring love and humility to a relationship.
Fair play to Mel for speaking out.
Your my super hero assGass! 😂🤣😜
@@mac2626 *you’re
Now I’m your English teacher too.
Where do I send the invoice?
@@mac2626 actually call it a freebie, you sound broke as fuck.
Yes of course. The modern definition of 'real men' is the literal antithesis of 'real men' of History, from Pericles to caesar and from caesar to Napoleon everyone of them had all of the (negative) things you mentioned as Attributes. Girls have to mentally deal with the knowledge of history as well.
Not just men. I was was in an abusive relationship which ended when she stabbed me. The majority of women i have known are abusive in one way or another. How many times do you see a woman hitting or verbally abusing a man. Sadly most people just ignore that because it's a man and a woman can't abuse him.
As soon as she released her book, Stephen then sued her and tried as hard as he could to go to media and prove his innocence. And what's crazy is that people backed him up more than her. Good on her for continuously speaking up for herself x
@@aermax7321 damn you need new kicks
I believe her friends are very male identified and I suppose camera phones weren't available at that time . Some women will work and support a man who hasn't good communication skills A rich girl can't afford to get cameras put in her house? She had no male relatives to intervene and support her? . Come on she sounds low IQ and needy
@@aermax7321 you’re completely out of touch with your spirit if you can’t tell she’s telling the truth.
Please take your heartless deflection to the maleosphere where you will be celebrated. 🙄
@@aermax7321 Do everyone a favor and shut the hell up
@@aermax7321 Little logic within your comments.
I can relate.
My first relationship was abusive and toxic especially cause my ex did drugs behind my back.
It’s been 6 YEARS since it ended and I’m STILL traumatized to this day!
You never forget abuse even if you get over it.
You choose to stay in it .
@@adamblack6867 you chose zero empathy and compassion here and several other comments.
Who’s forcing you?
@@adamblack6867 why do people like you exist in this world surely!
@@adamblack6867 NO the brain is blocked like it froze you. It is hard to understand when you never been beat up that bad. But it is more complicated plus how many ppl go to jail only a few months instead of yrs after abusing women? To many. So what they got out and kill her?
Sorry it happened to you.
I been there too. 10 yrs. Lots of threatening of my person, of my kids, of my parents ... I felt responsible of the "if he would really kill them, I would be at fault". It is hard and ppl who judge have easy lives this is why they dont understand because it never happened to them
As someone who is fleeing from domestic violence right now i totally agree with everything she is saying here
God bless you ❤
But hope your doing just fine
Best wishes ❤️
I was running just like you are now back in 2011. 17 YEARS trapped in domestic violence/abuse )BLISSFULLY remarried now and cannot stress how proud I am of you for the strength you're displaying RIGHT NOW!😭👏❤ I shudder thinking of how hard those days were. I promise you that time can heal you so much more than you can imagine. Find your tribe and ALLOW THEM TO LOVE YOU, and PLEASE learn to love YOURSELF!❤️❤️❤️ It's so hard, & I know it seems impossible at the moment, but it's absolutely NECESSARY and in time you will!🥰 You've already taken the first step...
🤗 YOU ARE FREE and You will forgive yourself for not knowing how to protect yourself before. You will release the guilt you hold in your body. You will detox ALL of the negative energy that never belonged to you. You will relearn how to Love yourself from such a beautiful place in your Soul. You will have a Brand New Look on Life. There are wonderful people waiting to meet you. Keep moving forward, your Abundance is waiting for you to open to the door 💗 You Got This!
Prayers and justice to all victims out there ❤️
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~There is NO JUSTICE, not even God likes the VICTIMS; he despises them.
This is completely accurate, it happened to my Mom when she married my Dad, she called the police on him but nothing happened they say they couldn’t do anything about, I still don’t a 100% trust the police I don’t think they would do anything about domestic violence. My Dad was careful not put that much bruise on my Mom because he knew he can go to prison he knew he would be outed as a serial domestic abuser, he would threaten Mom whenever someone outside the family wasn’t present, stripped her naked in front of myself and my brother (I was 9 years old when this happened.) go through my Mom’s letters and refused to give them back to her, myself and my little brother had to take the letters quickly from the letter box 📫 before he get to it, chased away church ⛪️ people who came to see mom take the phone away from mom when she was speaking to her family, say my mom side of the family is mentally challenged or has autism despite no evidence to prove this and my mom father being a professor 👨🏫, he did do many things to my Mom at one point after arguments when Mom said she going to leave he brought myself & my brother to the living room told us to beg mom to stay but myself and my little brother kept saying we wanted to leave then he blackmailed us to stay with him sayings “If you don’t stay with me, I sell all your toys away.” (Myself and my brother loved to play a lot with are toys.) finally we decided to leave a decade later (my only regret about leaving my Dad is that we didn’t do it much sooner, that was a huge mistake, other than that leaving was the best thing that happened in my life.) for some weird reason he wanted to portray himself as a victim, spoke to my Mom side of her family (who he wouldn’t let my mom speak to.) and other family friends. At first they felt sorry for him but something he said (I don’t know what it was.) later lead to them understanding why we didn’t live with him anymore and some of these people (including members of my Dad’s own family.) cut off contact with him, they must have knew something was seriously wrong with him. At one point he recently blamed a family friend (who never lived with us.) for us leaving and having no contact with him to which this family members replied back “It’s your own fault that you don’t know where your kids are and that they don’t want anything to do with you!”
For anyone out there in a abusive relationship please just leave.
You tell a great fairytale Karen.😜
@@mac2626 get help , you must be an abuser yourself
Where's your mom now?
@@mac2626 why would you say that ? What do you gain from it ? Things like this happen all the time...
the police are useless
This is so important and so incredibly brave. Melanie's points are bang on and people need to hear this.
Sending love out to others who have been abused.
I’m so pleased she is sharing her story to explain how it really is and sharing the clear signs of abuse and control.
Sending love back at you ❤
I’m a 39 year old man and was physically abused by my mother growing up from as long as I could remember. I think the earliest I was 4 years old when it started, possibly earlier. Physical abuse continued until I was 12 or 13 years old but the emotional abuse continued until I was 34 years old when mum was on her death bed. A few years before I lost my temper and pulled my mum off the sofa onto the floor of which I wasn’t proud of what I did, she called police on me and I got a criminal record. She should have got a criminal record for abusing a child!! But she got away with it!!
I'm so sorry ❤
She may have gotten away here on earth. But she surely will have to answer to Almighty God for it. Having had to answer to a court here on earth will appear as a walk in a park compared to what she has coming for her. Especially since she never apparently repented and asked your forgiveness (let alone God’s).
So sorry.
@@elizabethmarsh8109 thank you 😊 xx
@@joykigenrob3498 thank you x
We need to teach our children/teenagers how to spot early stages of an abusive relationship like subtle red flags. I know its a lot more complicated than just knowing whats signs to look out for sadly
Absolutely!!! well said!!
Yes yes yes definitely
She lost custody of her daughter to her abuser. I think that's horrific. She's right about the abuse aspect of it never leaving your mind. The other Spice girls didn't know, but they realized they never liked her partner.
I lost FULL custody of my three children to my Abusers. She's right about the police as they are Abusers themselves and also get kick backs for their role in calls. I experienced the same. I was compensated by the NJ Victims of Crime Board and awarded 25,000.00 dollars for reporting and supplying that board with evidence of the police's role, the CPS office's role and the court's role in the trafficking of my children.
@@redrunner3536 Way to go and much respect for the courage and tenacity to go against such powerful systems. And right on for using the word - "Trafficking". You are a super hero
@@ikileziolivia2167 thank you. I'm still fighting
Has she got her child back. ???
@@parys8034 She has opportunities to visit but the visits have to be monitored, and I don't think she's allowed to take her daughter out of the country. These decisions were made by a judge because of Mel's drug use at the time of her marriage to Stephen Belafonte. She is also required to be tested for drugs. If anyone think I am wrong about all of this, please correct me. It's been a few years since I've read the court documents.
Shes so brave for speaking out
Speaking out on what she chose
@@adamblack6867 you chose being a khunt.
@@adamblack6867 nobody “chooses” violence in a loving relationship yet 1 in 4 women and 1 in every 6 men experience domestic violence.
Then there’s people like you, Adam.
You defend the perpetrators.
You diminish the experience on both parts.
You chat utter shit where you really don’t need to say anything, which is actually a little suspicious.
Either you’re a bot or a phuktard.
Or you desperately want human interaction but you can’t get it because this is how you speak to total strangers.
You’re the one with the problem now. Mel got out and spoke up..
When are you going to get out of being a blatant moron and sounding like a possible domestic violence perp on PUBLIC platforms?
@@ascgazz7347 Thank you for mentioning exactly what we are thinking. When someone defends an abusive person it truly says alot about them...
@@zraj3433 absolutely, I was bullied by my cop stepfather and schoolmates for years and now I like seeing people try.
The world is full of loud idiots, I wouldn’t say I’m smart but let’s get some loud COMPASSION, EMPATHY, INTELLIGENCE and RESPECT on the go, I reckon it’s ling over due!
Thanks for saying so too, appreciate that. 👍
Thank you for being so open and honest 💛
This breaks my heart. I grew up watching and marvelling at Mel B, how energetic and happy she was. She still is energetic - a woman with a fighting spirit. Her story is a reminder that domestic violence can happen to anyone. Take care beautiful lady. So many people around the world love and admire you xx
Abuse doesn't have an age or face. I was abused at 14-15 years old by my first official boyfriend. It can happen right in the burbs... from a 2 family top income earning household. When I tried to leave he tried to kill me. He still stalks me til this day. Im in my late 40s.
Learn to protect yourself ladies
I’m worried about you. Can you move country at all. Is that an option at all?
Still stalking. After all those years, he is extremely sick! Then you are not safe. Sell the house. Your life is worth more. You gotta change your number your location.
This is probably the most connected I've ever seen Mel be to the thing she's talking about. I'm so used to her spacing out, getting defensive or aggressive, or putting on a character that makes her seem stupid. But she's speaking SO honestly, clearly and passionately here. It makes me realize how many times over the years her "persona" may have been influenced by trauma, covering up for abuse, being distracted by what her partner had done or said (or what he might say when she got home), or honestly, by painkillers she may have taken for injuries. Watching this interview is like seeing Mel B for the first time in a way.
Oh Mel, so very very sorry that happened to you... heartbreaking. You're an amazing woman, thank you for raising such important points... you have a voice that will be listened too and is 100% supported ❤
wonder how much she got paid for this
She had a choice to leave in the early red flags
@@beejjas3321 the very first time a person is abused it changes you psychologically. Did you not listen to what she said. Have you experienced it yourself. You aren't the same as everyone is. Don't judge, learn.
@@millwallholdings what does that matter. Her message is important. Listen to it and learn.
@@beejjas3321 Do everyone a favor and shut the hell up
She has hit the nail on the head. Police need to be educated. I had a domestic abuse situation where I had to call the cops and they interviewed us together.
So glad she is speaking out. Before you get in a serious relationship see how that person treats other people, even strangers, find out what their family relationships are like. How are they treating you? If they have come from an abusive home, then they are likely to repeat that behaviour and think that is the way to handle situations. Don’t expect them to change, they won’t unless they really want to and are willing to put the work in to do so.
Oh please. The abuser is so SWEEEEEET until they get alone after dating you a long time. That’s why women have a hard time getting police to believe them. I grew up in an abusive household, so I’m likely to abuse my boyfriend who I’ve had a healthy relationship with for seven years? Lol okaaaaay. Please stop talking should things you don’t understand.I very highly doubt Melanie’s story. I think she needs a sob story to try and get her kids back
It stays with you and it invades your thoughts and dreams. Its hard getting over it and i cant believe I stayed in such an abusive situation ,just thinking about it breaks me I wish there was a pill to take and just erase all the memories..GOD BLESS YOU MEL
Love how open and vulnerable she is. I’ve been there and it’s not easy to leave or heal
I was in it for 10 years also. He spit in my face, threw me on the ground and began strangling me. It was only the angels that caused him to get off of me. But it started with him yelling and cursing( emotional abuse), him taking money out my purse (financial abuse) then a mush across the head, then a slap… It started at 16 years old. I didn’t even realize it was abuse. Leaving a home where there was neglect and I was never told that I was loved it was easy for me to fall into the arms of Dr. Jekyll Nr. Hyde. Which is why we need it to start in the homes, we need men who love us and want nothing from us to vet who we are entertaining as a potential mate. We need to do our homework on people and fast and pray so God can give us signs that we won’t miss…and we need to not move into sex before we are sure of the person so that our judgement won’t be clouded with lust. Glad she made it out. This is why I wrote my book, “Sis You Ought To Choose Better” we have to value ourselves and choose ourselves
Wonderful comment, and very true. We need to give our girls self esteem and confidence from a young age, and of course our young boys too, so they can love and respect each other.
I can’t believe any man was able to make our Mel B feel this way. Such a strong woman broken down by that loser, who did not deserve her.
So we believe her just because shes a woman... That is bull
@@marinadejaramillo3006 yes and if you bothered to watch the video there was evidence
@@marinadejaramillo3006 Do everyone a favor and shut the hell up
@@marinadejaramillo3006 you clearly don't know anything about her case to make this comment. Sit down.
Thank you so much Mel B for speaking out about your experience! So many people unfortunately have had similar experiences. Seeing someone who is in the public eye also having dealt with this makes survivors feel less alone.
I was always scared to talk about it. Seeing her talk about it is just amazing. It take’s amazing courage to break free from abusive partners
Sending you hugs. Thank you for being transparent. This will help alot of victims. ❤️
This is exactly well said. Thank you for sharing and finding the right words to explain it.
I went through abuse for more than 10 yrs. I still have trauma. When I finally left, he stalked me, I put complaint... he finally brutally assaulted me. I almost lost my life before one of my kids! I am alive. But the trauma I endure, the fear of the constant threatening, the fact his own friends was afraid of him... it was impossible to leave, my legs became blocked. I felt like I had been under brainwashing. Just him calling my name was making me feel sick. I was afraid to talk when I slept. I was accused of cheating even when I was pregnant. Some ppl out there are evil, nasty, low life and failures! And I hate all he said and did to us. Abusers should always do at least an 8 yrs prison !!!
I was in relationship for 7 years with my ex. Who Physically and Mentally abused me. I blamed my self and stay away from People cause he got in to my head that i could not trust my family and friends. 3 years on i struggle to trust men and Have not dated
Thank you for speaking out Mel.
I love this so much. Amazing to see someone i looked up to so much, talk about something I relate to so much. What a beautiful person, glad she got a chance to speak out.
My sister Cheryl abused me emotionally and physically. When i moved in with her because i was severely depressed, after my depression went away she would tell me what to wear before going to the Ensemble theater in Houston. She didn't like the outfit that i was going to wear. She didn't like outfit which i have worn at my clinic. She said you are not going to embarrass me by what i was wearing. I could believe that she was telling me not to wear the outfit that i always wore at work as a physician. I no longer live with her..She has been on social security disability for about 6 to 7 years. I love my sister but i will not stop talking about my abusive family.
Thank you Mel, I encourage you to keep speaking about domestic abuse, and making people aware there is not even help out there, especially for recovery from these individuals.
You are helping so many people, please don’t let anyone devalue you or Silence you. Xxx💖🙏🏻
I absolutely loved what the Spice Girls stood for. I remember “Girl Power!” being a part of their brand as they were seen as fierce, strong, capable, supportive women. They still are to this day. I’m glad Mel spoke out about this.
I think we need to understand how best to teach females what it looks like and truly means to be respected and valued. What love looks like and what should not be accepted, tolerated, or allowed. What it means when someone says or does something to you and how to combat it. This could mean the difference between life or death.
Glad that she is doing much better and has the courage to share her story! God bless!
Well done, Mel! Only saw this today. This is terribly relatable to a lot of women.
She deserves to be healed. So sad but so happy she is getting the space to speak out and continue to heal.
I feel the same.
Thankyou Mel B for speaking out and being a voice for all silenced victims ❤️ It's not easy for anyone to do no matter who you are as you know because of the way victims are further traumatised for being a victim in the first place
Your not a victim if you stay with someone that abuses you .
@@adamblack6867 Do everyone a favor and shut the hell up
Thank you so much for sharing your survival story of domestic abuse. This reminds me that leaving my marriage was for the best, even if it means being a single mom to 3 young children.
Thank you for speaking out. I had 15years of it. Its so validating to hear you. It would wonderful if there was greater awareness and understanding.
I absolutely love the Spice Girls. It's hard to listen to what she's gone through 💔 There are so many people who genuinely care about her but I guess none of that helps to empower you when you're in a relationship with someone who makes you feel worthless.
I was in it for 10 years too. But I didn't accept it was abuse for years because he only Threatened me verbally,he never ACTUALLY hit me
Bless you! ❤
Your Soul carries the scars from Domestic Abuse.
Beyond heart rendering.
Australia.
A lack of self worth can take a very long time to discover and work through.
I was at a very low point in my life when I dated an Idiot. Now when I look back, I cannot even believe that I allowed that man in my presence. Self Love and Self worth is a must
@@scovyaporsha Good for you! Too many people out there are not strong enough to break away from unhealthy relationships. I have them in my own family. In some way they can’t handle real freedom.
one of the reasons people stay in the relationship is because it's not always possible to leave wether that be for practical or emotional reasons. It's not about making a decision it's about lots and lots of things that are real inside that relationship. The help isn't always available due to budget cuts and demand for services.
Bull nothing can stop you from leaving .
@@adamblack6867 kids, marriage, mortgages, rental agreements, threat of murder. You really are a brain dead rat
@@adamblack6867 wow, who hurt you? Never mind, it must be your fault in some way 🤷♀️
Girl you went through this? So sorry to hear this. Oh my.... bless you
I couldn’t stop crying while listening to Mel and to even think I wanted to name my first after Mel and I still love her so much she’s really a strong woman
Anybody, man or woman, being abused should report it. I hope police take it all seriously, be it physical or psychological abuse. Those statistics would look different if men reported their abuse as well.
I'm so glad that Mel B got out of that situation is is talking about it and processing her pain and trauma. I hope that she is getting professional help and taking care of her children well.
Sorry to hear of the abuse she took. Wishing her well. Blessings 🧁🧁
I’m so happy she is speaking out and sharing her story . ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for speaking the truth Mel B. You are still powerful.
😢 this almost brought me to tears as a survivor of domestic abuse her sharing is both brave and heroic 😮 thank you for explaining the truth of how there isn't much done of this crime 😢 we need more advocacy and legal change in the system
You are amazing...
Good for you...
Bravo...
🇿🇦
I am so sorry!
When I did report my abuse to the police after I left I got a voice mail message from the police (my mental health was severe that I was scared to answer the phone), saying "we've interviewed your partner she says you play rugby so you can look after yourself". I couldn't believe it and it was a lie because I hadn't been to the club for a couple of years due to being in that relationship
sadly that is still the attitude of many men (and some women ) even in the police , who see everything and should know better , I hope that you are out of that situation now
You are a bit butch tho
So sad to see that you aren’t the only person who has been spoken to in a disgusting manner by the police.
They really are self righteous and horrid vermin some members of the UK police.
My Mum was attacked by her then partner and he pushed down a flight of stairs and she pulled the stair hand rail off in attempt to stop herself from hitting her head on the landing…. All that the police had to say to her was that she had caused criminal damage to her then partners property and they didn’t even ask her if she needed medical help or anything!!!
I was furious when this happened. I’m just glad she is safe now and that horrid excuse of a man is gone out of her life for good.
The police are not educated in real life situations and that’s the problem with the force!
Well that's only one side of the story. Maybe your ex partner considered you abusive
@@winstoningram99 Of course there is, the pretense of being the real abused party is exactly how narcissists scapegoat their victims and cut off their communication to any real outside intervention
usually there should be carefully reviewed signs of who’s “really” being abused
Truly one of the most dangerous things that an empowered 3rd party who’s dealing with a narcissist and a victim can do is to “play fair”, because that’s actually siding with the narcissist by default
But anyone who hasn’t dealt with narcissism upfront is so obsessed with being the good impartial guy that they don’t realize the courage that’s needed to take a side
Since 16, I haven't spoken publicly about the abuse I faced.
what a wonderful down to earth woman. so proud of her. x
Mel has always been my favorite spice girl ! It's sad to know she's gone through abuse ! Mel you are loved by millions of ppl don't ever lose that fun spirit we all love ! God Bless You..
With her confidence oozing with everything she does,I never thought she could live with an abuser for a minute.When I think of confident people,she always come on the list, its an example that this can happen to any women,ANY. Thank you for speaking up Mel,I respected you more.
Good for you, Mel, for speaking out about your experience. It will help many people. Whatever you may have been told in the past, you are one classy lady. You have taken control back. The world is your oyster and I wish you well. X
Thank you Mel , this is so imporant
Love this woman for using her platform and speaking out you can tell she is a genuine person hope she knows her worth now😊❤
you took the words oud of my mouth, God bless you
I didn’t call police because you scared they won’t help you and the abuser gets more angry. So you get more scared. Too many painful memories, it makes me cry
My mother was awful to me all my life…i was unable to escape for years..
Thank You , Bless You Melanie 🙏🏻💗🕊️✨
Abuse leaves life-long triggers. Yes, you definitely may get your power back. And you will make it. But it’s a haunting memory of betrayal from who is supposed to be trustworthy.
Love that she spoke on this, don't let abuse own you, own it instead. Love and respect for her, this is a hard subject
She describes it very well. 💯
I hope she heals and everyone going through this can get out and be safe. Praying for victims everywhere
We also need to be able to trust social services. After recently leaving an abusive relationship I felt targeted by them, terrible false reports... my children being interrogated every week in school & at home!!! And this too can put people off of contacting the police when children are involved.
Man or woman... mum or dad...
They need support, understanding & encouragement!
17 police reports later before I finally felt able to say NO I'm not living like this anymore, we're not living like this anymore.
The entire system needs a wash out especially life threatening issues like abuse.
Good on you Melanie!!! You're making such a big difference. Keep going x
Brave woman
I feel her pain and understand it well. I'm so glad she's telling her story. 😮💨❤️✌️
Wow I never knew she was going thru that prayers for her healing and strength ❤🙏🏽
Trauma stays in every cell of your body.
For those of you who haven't read her book, check it out. It was a raw account of her situation, it made me cry. I'm so proud of Mel for surviving, not every victim has that fate.
10 YEARS AND YOU DONT REPORT - SHE IS A LIAR
Such an important message to share from such a strong woman. My son suffered years of abuse from his partner, police need to do better, be taught better.
Did he marry an older woman, divorcee, or single mom?
@TruthSeeker714 none of the above. They were together from 15 years until almost 40. She was always abusive, really sad.
@@TruthSeeker714 do you have a problem with women who fall into those categories? Why would they be especially abusive, according to you?
❤a incredible woman!!
Thk you!
The situations "that will never leave you" is so true. I 'm still haunted and affected and it was 12 years ago.
No more filler and surgery please!
But the problem is. The police don’t know who is telling the truth, or not.
As someone who has suffered from narc abuse their whole life. I feel proud of her. And grateful and so happy.
Love from Mauritius 🇲🇺
Wow. Thanks for speaking out!
People assume women with big personalities, who are seemingly confident and who are fiery don't get abused however, on the contrary, for many abusers, especially Narcissists look for those characteristics in their victims, it becomes a challenge to them, to "tame the lioness" so to speak.
Yes!!! 💯 true, they love to destroy bright,confident person down. The goal is to see how much they can get and destroy you.
Wow, I am so surprised that this strong woman was abused the way she describes. It’s amazing what abuse can do to us. It robs us and steals our souls.
Is us strong women get abused that’s we become stronger
This makes complete sense... Thank you for sharing 🙏🏽🙏🏽
I went through this for 8 months . I still have counselling as it was so severely damaging . You will never get over it - there are triggers all the time, you just have to learn to live with the fact it’s your past and you have to try move forward but it’s so hard . X
It's not only Marital but also Inter Family, Friends and Work Domestic Violence. Narcissism is an Epidemic and a lot of these Narcissists don't know or even realize how evil they are towards others.
@@malgorzatawojtys9846 Until Karma hits them.
@@malgorzatawojtys9846 Yes that's definitely true - I've seen that happen many times. Compassion or Empathy does not exist in their life.
I have so much respect for this lady ❤
Because you are so naive and gullible
Why?
OK simp
@@LordOfLight why not??? not your business
@@babajaga158 (a) People don't do things because they have no reason not to. They do things because they have a reason to. "why not???" therefore, is a particularly silly answer.
(b) It *_is_* my business, and everyone else's business. It became our business when the OP made a public pronouncement on a public platform. What did you think? That everyone should ignore it? Keep it a secret?
Time for you to use what little sense you were born with.
Thank you Mel for sharing and all that you do❣ God Bless 🙏🏻🙏🏻😇
My God, so true. The re- learning is so on point