Exploring grief and shame with children born from rape - BBC World Service Documentaries | 100 Women

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  • Опубліковано 23 гру 2024

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  • @BBCWorldService
    @BBCWorldService  Рік тому +435

    👋🏽Hi! We hope you enjoyed this documentary. Is there any moment, quote or thought that will stay with you? If so, please share it in the comments, we would love to read it! BBC 100 Women is a team with a mission to address the under-representation of women in media. We are constantly looking for powerful and moving stories about women and girls around the world. If you want to help us in this exciting project please share your ideas in the comments. Thank you for watching! And if you enjoyed it, don’t forget to subscribe to the channel here 👉🏽 bbc.in/3VyyriM

    • @lynnredwig2914
      @lynnredwig2914 11 місяців тому +16

      Thanks BBC for making this documentary-it’s very heavy and my heart goes out to all the victims ❤Unfortunately I’m a victim myself and found out that my mum got rapped by 3 men in a park while walking home (she was only 14y old and never told a soul).My world has been shattered since finding out and I would love to talk to someone who is in a similar situation- there aren’t any support services in Australia and I feel extremely isolated… please feel free to contact me and I’m happy to share my story

    • @tonismith5802
      @tonismith5802 4 місяці тому +6

      Thank you all so much for sharing your honesty with us and to the brave lady who presented this documentary wrll done you are a hero in my eyes x

    • @Rabber-w3u
      @Rabber-w3u 4 місяці тому +24

      I wouldn’t use the word “enjoyed”

    • @lilyof-the-valley7324
      @lilyof-the-valley7324 4 місяці тому +12

      Thank you for covering such a difficult and taboo subject, however, I find the word 'enjoyed' in your description a little unsettling given the context. Perhaps 'informative' or 'thought provoking' would have suited better?
      The documentary is very heartfelt and moving. My heart goes out to all the brave participants who were able to share their experiences and thoughts and really hope they have found a support network through this. I was literally moved to tears.

    • @slantos2668
      @slantos2668 4 місяці тому +5

      "It's not your fault"

  • @lyndacarter4586
    @lyndacarter4586 4 місяці тому +10604

    My daughter was conceived when my husband raped me, while our roommate watched. I’ve never told her, and never plan to. She’s had enough heartache already in her life. It is my burden to bear. It was hard raising her - she has her father’s eyes. To look in them would make my blood run cold and my stomach turn. I’ve learned to love her so deeply. She may have his DNA, but she is MY daughter. My heart goes out to every woman that’s had to experience this.

    • @namibian.narrative
      @namibian.narrative 4 місяці тому +797

      Oh my goodness. I'm truly sorry no words can change the past but truly from the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry. But just know that, I see you as a courageous and strong mother❤💞 I'm truly sorry love

    • @ahill4642
      @ahill4642 4 місяці тому +794

      I admire that you are not telling your daughter. It serves no purpose imho.

    • @lyndacarter4586
      @lyndacarter4586 4 місяці тому +65

      @@namibian.narrative thank you.

    • @lyndacarter4586
      @lyndacarter4586 4 місяці тому +54

      @@ahill4642 thank you.

    • @eddieblair9751
      @eddieblair9751 4 місяці тому +40

      @@ahill4642I was thinking the same.

  • @SuperSpinWheel
    @SuperSpinWheel 4 місяці тому +9694

    Someone once said “you were conceived out of anger and pain but you were born out of love”. As you grow together, you heal together

    • @Bebedollie
      @Bebedollie 4 місяці тому +40

      Amen 🙏 ❤

    • @EyeoIsis
      @EyeoIsis 4 місяці тому +17

      ❤❤

    • @Anna-tj7mp
      @Anna-tj7mp 4 місяці тому +29

      How very beautiful.

    • @1milvies
      @1milvies 4 місяці тому

      Only if it is the woman's choice. There is no healing in forced pregnancies.

    • @1milvies
      @1milvies 4 місяці тому

      Only if it is the woman's choice. There is no healing in forced pregnancies.

  • @maeve9084
    @maeve9084 3 місяці тому +3649

    The fact that Eve’s father told her that he would rape his daughter again and that he felt no remorse made me sick to my stomach. There’s so many sick and disturbed men out there.

    • @katlyndobransky2419
      @katlyndobransky2419 3 місяці тому +83

      And women too. There’s sick people out there

    • @zairabandy8695
      @zairabandy8695 3 місяці тому +1

      @@katlyndobransky2419 but further more ban Men. Statistics don't lie

    • @ネコ-t7n
      @ネコ-t7n 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@katlyndobransky2419mostly men

    • @gwennydoline2911
      @gwennydoline2911 3 місяці тому +23

      ​@@katlyndobransky2419 But thats not the point here. Its about disgusting men.

    • @rockband3enthusiast
      @rockband3enthusiast 3 місяці тому +2

      @@katlyndobransky2419of course everyone can be sick, but abuse against women is normalized and men are the most common perpetrators of violence

  • @ScottishAnnie
    @ScottishAnnie 4 місяці тому +2566

    Whats crazy is Sammy is having to fight to stop her rapist having access to her grandkids. Her son is an adult so can't be forced to see him but rapists having rights to access to the child is not ok.
    Check out Sammy Woodhouses story & petition against it.

    • @zeerose8205
      @zeerose8205 4 місяці тому +53

      Omg this is insane!!!!

    • @ScottishAnnie
      @ScottishAnnie 4 місяці тому +58

      @@zeerose8205 should not be allowed at all.

    • @marinaSassygUrl88
      @marinaSassygUrl88 3 місяці тому +50

      Why isn't this monster still in prison wth!!@

    • @ScottishAnnie
      @ScottishAnnie 3 місяці тому +12

      @marinaSassygUrl88 he is, crazy huh

    • @cryalot378
      @cryalot378 3 місяці тому +46

      What?! are you serious? In what kind of f-up world do we live in? How can this be allowed?!

  • @Phillip-p1e
    @Phillip-p1e 4 місяці тому +4596

    My birth mother was groomed and then raped. I was the result,this happened in 1961 , she was 13 and I came 9 months later. What made it worse was in those days it was taboo for a white girl to be with a black boy/ man . She gave me up for adoption I spent many years in a Barnardo's home for unwanted or orphaned boys. I have spoken with my birth mum but never met her . Tbh I had no connection when we spoke on the phone, didn't feel any emotions, maybe because we never bonded at birth I was taken away immediately. Her parents had no idea that the baby would be of mixed heritage and were shocked and deeply disturbed and disappointed in their daughter. Born a child of rape should not define who we are today

    • @gracevalentine1666
      @gracevalentine1666 4 місяці тому +117

      Thank you, you are very❤ strong

    • @Bebedollie
      @Bebedollie 4 місяці тому +59

      Godbless u ❤

    • @dandan4185
      @dandan4185 4 місяці тому

      This has to be a lie am I actually speaking to an incested child

    • @haruno21
      @haruno21 4 місяці тому +164

      yep, sadly many women cant DECIDE what to do with the pregnancy

    • @-David.-
      @-David.- 4 місяці тому +62

      @@haruno21 What on earth are you saying? It sounds to me like you are suggesting that this person is not deserving of life. I hope I have misunderstood and that you are not a vile and despicable person. This person’s life is obviously precious and valuable, regardless of their parents' actions. and to even suggest otherwise is atrocious.

  • @AnimaandAnimus
    @AnimaandAnimus 2 місяці тому +439

    I was a child of rape. Apparently that’s why my mother was so cruel and sadistic to me growing up. Beat and starved me. Treated like “A Child Called It”. But she still doesn’t remember the horror. Felt no remorse. Feels no remorse when she tortured me even as an adult. I’d ask my psychologist “why does she not see what she did was horrific child abuse?” And my psychologist answered “because all she saw was your father. Even when you were a toddler” 😢

    • @fanskate2744
      @fanskate2744 2 місяці тому +55

      I’m so sorry. God bless you

    • @suneetamishra8768
      @suneetamishra8768 Місяць тому +55

      So sorry about the hatred and angst of abuse being turned on you instead of the perpetrator of the crime 😢

    • @sadu622
      @sadu622 16 днів тому +4

      May God help you heal 🌷

    • @ChimeraLotietheBunny
      @ChimeraLotietheBunny 15 днів тому +3

      Hurts

    • @polinavader486
      @polinavader486 13 днів тому +44

      It's not your fault, but she is a broken woman, forced to live with a constant reminder of the torture she had been through. The best thing you can do is to separate, I guess. Because the connection you have, makes you both miserable.

  • @thaiquan6334
    @thaiquan6334 4 місяці тому +1213

    my mom didn't tell me until i was in my 20s. she told me she had to marry my dad because she didn't want me to be fatherless. At the end, they divorced because of the domestic violence. To all of the survivors out there, please don't marry your rapist. I am happy living with my mom. I don't need my dad and never will. I wish I was there to save my mom.

    • @LushRushwithBirdie
      @LushRushwithBirdie 3 місяці тому +39

      As someone who’s mother has gone though something similar, the love and support for her will definitely mean so much!

    • @TurnipTroll
      @TurnipTroll 2 місяці тому +24

      My great-grandmother also married her rapist for similar reasons along with financial support. He had taken her out behind the barn before their first date because her bother told him, my great-grandfather, he could do what ever he'd like with her. He also raped her right after she had given birth. When he died (he basically starved himself because he wanted her to take care of him) she never shed a tear at his funeral and never talked about him after. But through it all she still loved her children unconditionally nor held it against her children that they cared for their father. She was truly one of the kindest, sweetest person I've know despite all the horrible things he put her through.

    • @Karan186-u
      @Karan186-u Місяць тому +2

      Hello stay strong ❤️❤️

  • @juliettevharris
    @juliettevharris 4 місяці тому +2157

    My ex was conceived by rape, except his mother kept it from him. He was raised by his mother and his stepfather. His stepfather had children from a previous relationship. He was raised to believe his stepfather was his father until one day his older "sister" got mad at him and told him his dad wasn't his real dad. He was a teen, so he confronted his mom about it. She locked herself in her room and cried for 3 days and wouldn't speak to him. He said he never brought it up again because obviously, he didn't want to make his mom so upset. She told me years later that she almost got an abortion. It was pretty obvious why. It affected him deeply. She should have talked to him about it. He has real psychological issues because of it. He won't deal with his isdues either, because his mother taught him never to talk about things like that. I think it did him a huge disservice. He ended up causing real problems in my life because he wouldn't deal with his issues. I refuse to have him in my life because of those problems. He's not a bad man, but he really needs to work on himself and his trauma, but he never will.

    • @juliakrol7165
      @juliakrol7165 4 місяці тому +167

      Heartbreaking.

    • @blueStarKitt7924
      @blueStarKitt7924 4 місяці тому +158

      Sorry about that!! But did the stepsister have been shown the damage she caused?

    • @Laoriginal718
      @Laoriginal718 4 місяці тому +216

      That boy should have been told from the very beginning that that man was not his biological father. I don’t understand why people lie to children as if the truth doesn’t always come out.

    • @Laoriginal718
      @Laoriginal718 4 місяці тому +106

      @@blueStarKitt7924the stepsister didn’t cause any damage. The mother and step father caused damage when they decided to lie to that boy instead of telling him the truth from the very beginning.

    • @juliettevharris
      @juliettevharris 4 місяці тому +57

      @Laoriginal718 I know, right? Children are smart enough to understand. You can tell them in an age appropriate way, and they will understand. You can tell them they are still loved.

  • @hopmanlisa
    @hopmanlisa 2 місяці тому +254

    I was raped by a stranger on my way to school when I was 12 years old. I started menstruating at the age of 9, so one of my biggest fears was that I may have gotten pregnant. My period did not start for another month, which was very unusual for me, but I was too scared to take a pregnancy test. I eventually had my period after a month and was later explained by doctors that it might have been the stress that delayed my period. The moment I felt relieve from not being pregnant finally made me talk to my parents about what happened. I didn't think I could've told them what happened AND being pregnant because of that. My heart goes out to these victims and I think it they are incredibly brave ❤

    • @suneetamishra8768
      @suneetamishra8768 Місяць тому +37

      So sorry about what happened to you... What a pathetic state we women/girls are in this monstrous world that we are relieved to not be in another hell while we are already dealing with one 😢

    • @hopmanlisa
      @hopmanlisa Місяць тому +28

      @@suneetamishra8768 that is very sweet, thank you! I do feel blessed though. I met my now husband at 18 y/o and we have 3 beautiful kids. I am 30 now and still afraid of going out alone, but other than that I truly healed and I am enjoying life to the fullest! Also, my husband is mostly how I was able to heal, so I really believe I survived because of him. Not all men are monsters, but here are indeed people (also women) capable of horrible things in this world 😢

    • @Karan186-u
      @Karan186-u Місяць тому +7

      Please stay safe and happy life. ❤️❤️

    • @ahogapeces
      @ahogapeces 8 днів тому +2

      I'm so sorry of what happend to you ,stay safe 🌷

    • @cloudyaesthetics191
      @cloudyaesthetics191 5 днів тому +1

      ur so brave ❤

  • @rebaseymour1810
    @rebaseymour1810 4 місяці тому +3513

    Rape is worse than murder in my eyes, just not the laws.
    The rapist is to blame. Not the victim, not the child. You may look like them, but you don’t have to act like them. Each human is made with free will. She chose life. He chose life.
    The rapist chose to abuse and exploit an another person. They don’t deserve life.

    • @christianandjesse7370
      @christianandjesse7370 4 місяці тому +88

      Almost no victims or products of SA ever commit SA themselves

    • @somehorse
      @somehorse 4 місяці тому +1

      There’s zero justification for sexual assault. There can be grey areas for murder, but absolutely none for SA.

    • @tabthecabbit3354
      @tabthecabbit3354 3 місяці тому +11

      Well said.

    • @Ana-h3w
      @Ana-h3w 3 місяці тому +5

      Thank you ❤❤

    • @phoenixj1299
      @phoenixj1299 3 місяці тому +4

      I completely agree

  • @THEAnnEla
    @THEAnnEla 4 місяці тому +865

    It really bothers me no one has ever told her before it was not her fault. She was 11. And it was her father on top of that. Who could blame her?

    • @billcorn2
      @billcorn2 3 місяці тому +67

      We’re thinking of modern day thinking. That woman looks older. It always scares me how differently people thought of things like that 40 years ago 😵‍💫

    • @HisameArtwork
      @HisameArtwork 2 місяці тому +31

      @@billcorn2 especially in rural religious isolated places. if she's from a remote weirdo village somewhere that's super religious they'd probably think she's possessed or something, not the dad's fault or whatever. these places still exist. Today in most of EU they've been eradicated, the government usually takes away the kids and jails the adults involved, but other places are way lax and anti progressive, very conservative etc.

    • @SpandexSuperstarr
      @SpandexSuperstarr Місяць тому +22

      Sounds like the rest of the people in her life are as awful as her rapist. What kind of monsters shame a child sex abuse victim. It wasn't her fault. She was a child.

  • @Dorgpoop
    @Dorgpoop 4 місяці тому +4712

    The fact that the police weren't interested in Eva's story is terrible because that would be the easiest crime in the world to prove. All they'd have to do is use her DNA to prove that she was the result of parent-child incest, which would be extremely obvious to a geneticist.

    • @Samantha-vlly
      @Samantha-vlly 4 місяці тому +179

      This should be taught tbh.

    • @roxcyn
      @roxcyn 3 місяці тому +81

      I assume it's because of the SOL of SA, R or I. In other words, the time to go to court has expired and they can't get a conviction.

    • @gilliantohver3225
      @gilliantohver3225 3 місяці тому +324

      ​@@roxcynThere is no statute of limitations when the victim is a minor, as the birth mother was when she gave birth. There would be medical records of the birth, and the age of the bio mother at birth.
      EASY case to win.

    • @roxcyn
      @roxcyn 3 місяці тому +63

      @@gilliantohver3225 - My apologies as I didn’t provide context and background: the USA. And yes, each state is different. Mine says 2 years from the incident or 12 years after turning 18 if it happened as a minor. Obviously other countries and providences will be different.

    • @repressedtrauma322
      @repressedtrauma322 3 місяці тому +96

      @@roxcynfor the uk, fortunately now there is no time limit to report a rape, whether it’s 10 minutes or 10 years you can still report it, evidence if the tricky thing. The law here was changed may 1st 2004 so a rape before then uses a different procedure. But still it’s so disappointing because even if the was a limit that passed, the report of abuse and incest could’ve been made. Police really fucked up, it’s heartbreaking.

  • @hansendesigns
    @hansendesigns 4 місяці тому +1711

    Part of the issue is that society isn’t horrified enough by the abuser and doesn’t champion for the mothers. They should be able to say what happened and have no shame and no stigma. They did nothing wrong. It’s a brave thing to have the child and a huge heart that they love these children.

    • @XZY382
      @XZY382 4 місяці тому +17

      FACTS !!

    • @christianandjesse7370
      @christianandjesse7370 3 місяці тому

      @hansendesigns truth, women are told to be embarrassed of being hurt and abused. Like its just from sexism. Men aren't able to say they were SAd because it gives them the social standing of a woman, he is seen as weak or feminine because he was abused. And with Christian teaching, there's not really any sympathy in the Bible for women being SAd. There's even scripture that straight up says that it's better for a woman to marry her rapist than it is for her to stay unmarried after SA. We are a Christian based country, people are raised with those ideas and morals. And the Bible takes a much harsher stance against women in general than it does against SA. The Bible even says SA is totally cool and moral at times.

    • @Potato-me4wu
      @Potato-me4wu 3 місяці тому +22

      They arent horrified coz all these things happening to women see men crying over 50 percent alimony in comment section even they don't have money n married

    • @EliacimRodriguez
      @EliacimRodriguez 2 місяці тому +3

      Like everything in life a small minority of liars and thieves use this honor system to their advantage and blame innocent men. This places every accusation under extreme scrutiny and fortunately we live in a system of where the accused is innocent until proven guilty.

    • @LHLK-f9t
      @LHLK-f9t 2 місяці тому

      proof dear

  • @annasheikina1423
    @annasheikina1423 4 місяці тому +575

    I can't even imagine those level of hatred, despair, anxiety and terror when woman realizes that she is pregnant from rapist.

    • @audreylasseter7776
      @audreylasseter7776 2 місяці тому +45

      It’s worse than death. at least if I was murdered, I wouldn’t have to live with the shame and guilt

    • @parisinthe30sx
      @parisinthe30sx 2 місяці тому

      ​Why would you feel shame and guilt? That makes no sense . R@pe Isnt consensual therefore there's nothing to feel guilty about @@audreylasseter7776

    • @stefdiazdiaz7067
      @stefdiazdiaz7067 Місяць тому +10


      Guilt about what? You should not feel guilty of a crime commited against you

    • @polinavader486
      @polinavader486 13 днів тому +1

      ​@@stefdiazdiaz7067 the society can do terrible things like victim blaming. Many victims end their lives because of it, because they were told, that they "provoked" it

    • @cloudyaesthetics191
      @cloudyaesthetics191 5 днів тому +3

      exactly, because first of all she didn’t consent and the physiological trauma is already heavy, and then they find out they’re pregnant? my heart goes out to them. Jesus, please help these women in times of despair. ❤

  • @BlueskyDenver
    @BlueskyDenver 4 місяці тому +755

    I was 18 years old when I reunited with my mother after growing up without her. Within the first two weeks of our reunion my mother told me she never loved my father and that she was a naive teenager who was abused, exploited and taken advantage of by my father and that’s how me and my siblings came to be. My mother and I couldn’t even have a relationship because she saw her abuser in me and in my siblings. To this day she doesn’t have any relationship with any of us. As a 40 years old woman I understand how hurt people hurt other people.! Ultimately, I owe it to myself to live the best life I can regardless which way I arrived in this world.

    • @Littlevampiregirl100
      @Littlevampiregirl100 4 місяці тому +93

      @@archerandthemouse come on, she was a teenager... that has not given her a whole lot of foresight on how to deal with such trauma and care for children in such a wildly unstable circumstance. it would break anyone. judge the father instead for bringing such a horrible situation to life

    • @XZY382
      @XZY382 4 місяці тому

      ​@@Littlevampiregirl100The problem is that she's had others, and today she's not a teenager - you can't whitewash her indefatigably - she's still an accomplice, despite everything, and this child has suffered a double penalty: that of her abuser father and that of her mother, not to mention that of society, so in reality it's a triple penalty.
      No, no, no, my boy! I could have said what you said there if she hadn't done anything but try to raise her children - many are raped and choose to fight for their child.

    • @yevgeniyaleshchenko849
      @yevgeniyaleshchenko849 3 місяці тому +27

      @@archerandthemouse Well, this is kinda obvious and exactly what the OP said... No need to explain her life and pain back to her, she clearly understands it well.

    • @iii9591
      @iii9591 2 дні тому +2

      so you met your birth mother and came to the conclusion of empathizing with her rapist instead of her? the dehumanization of women and especially women who were victims of rape is insane. i pity her and all victims. you ended up siding with her abuser out of pettiness. im glad she decided to distance herself from you

  • @hippiechick2112
    @hippiechick2112 4 місяці тому +762

    I had to pause at 15:38, when they asked Mandy if anybody apologized to her, and she said no. Broke my heart.

    • @idkwhatnameishouldput7526
      @idkwhatnameishouldput7526 3 місяці тому +5

      fr

    • @corneliahanimann2173
      @corneliahanimann2173 3 місяці тому +9

      Of course they didn't. We say rape is the worst of crimes one can commit, then apologising for that crime also means taking blame for having done the worst thing to another person. I don't think people mamage to get there.
      I'm not saying this to justify not doing it, I just had my own situation where I confronted someone who had blamed me for what has happened to me 10 years after that had happened. By that point they were able to explain why they reacted that way and admit they were wrong, but eventhough I could tell they were sorry, they could not bring themselves to say that.
      I don't say this to excuse it, but I just try to find as much middle ground to these people as possible. Society does a terrible job teaching people how to make apologies, we don't like making them, we most often associate it with weakness and admitting to you having made a mistake, and the humiliation of imperfection, we don't learn that it is okay to be human, and it is much more honorable to be a responsible human.
      At least that is what I think, one of many smelly opinions you can find of course.
      Understanding this is our best chance for trying to do better, and create better futures for whoever comes after us.

    • @AlexGamingConsole
      @AlexGamingConsole 2 місяці тому +1

      Apologies are not real

    • @anitaanthony2710
      @anitaanthony2710 Місяць тому

      She took a lot of pain😢😢😢

    • @pemo2676
      @pemo2676 13 днів тому +1

      @@AlexGamingConsole yeah theyre social constructs, and so are about a million things you've experienced socially and would claim are real. its your choice whether they matter, but that doesn't change it for anyone else

  • @christine-r1j
    @christine-r1j 10 місяців тому +3679

    how the hell can anyone judge a girl of 11 for being raped by her father, I am one of the lucky ones who had a caring wonderful father, who would never ever dream of hurting any of his children, my heart bleeds for Mandy, that people blame her, she is a victim and a wounderful mother doing her best for her child. I wish lovely things for her and her son, and hope she stays strong. how many of us could have coped with what she has been through, not many of us

    • @NakedMartinMartin
      @NakedMartinMartin 4 місяці тому +1

      Maybe she enticed him?

    • @mandy7131
      @mandy7131 4 місяці тому +109

      Right
      So many sick sobs out there

    • @ilanarhian
      @ilanarhian 4 місяці тому +170

      I know, I was really shocked that anyone would say she “had an affair “ with her Dad! What’s wrong with those people?!

    • @DieAlteistwiederda
      @DieAlteistwiederda 4 місяці тому +41

      The only one I would ever judge in a situation like this is the monster who did it never the victim/survivor of it. I know people who've been through things like this and I've never thought of them as bad in any way. They are just people who had horrible things done to them and they had to live and survive through this all.

    • @mewho6199
      @mewho6199 4 місяці тому +15

      To be clear, you have no idea what your father dreams about. I'm glad you were not harmed, but walk around thinking you know what's in anyone else's mind.

  • @cherrykkura
    @cherrykkura 3 місяці тому +485

    The fact that in a lot of these cases the abuser is the dad just makes it a million times worst. As a parent myself, how can you even thing of doing something so horrible to your baby?

    • @nufailanoon
      @nufailanoon 3 місяці тому +1

      alot of cases?

    • @dumplin.580
      @dumplin.580 3 місяці тому

      @@nufailanoon yeah, most sexual abuse is done by a family member. That mainly being a father or grandfather. I was sexually abused by my grandpa and a woman I know was raped by her father when she was a child. More often than not it is within the family, hence why we aren't believed.

    • @lucypher5200
      @lucypher5200 3 місяці тому +93

      @@nufailanoonyes most cases of incest are done by male family members

    • @howareyoualiveifyoudonteatbeef
      @howareyoualiveifyoudonteatbeef 3 місяці тому

      The stats are scary....
      Daughters are more likely to have their own daughters abused by their fathers or grandfathers. The abuser is nearly always from the mother's side of the family.
      The level of entitlement men feel towards female bodies is astronomical. Even when it's their own daughters and granddaughters.

    • @SmartDumbNerdyCool
      @SmartDumbNerdyCool Місяць тому

      They figure they are the ones who should first have their daughters, not any other man. Or they don't know how to appreciate beauty, and their internal masculine instinct is to destroy it, not cultivate or protect it, due to a misguided sense of attraction, uncontrollable lust, and self-entitlement. But it should be recognised the mother is prob partly to blame, for hyper-sexualising the relationship, or choosing a sex fiend and not being able to fulfill their urges, which carries on to the attitude towards their offspring as being nothing but 'objects' for their pleasure, no different to how a woman would use a toy to satisfy herself. Psychologically, I believe these to be the reasons why this situation arises. It's a combination of hypersexual, moraless, dominant, destructive men (often 'male-male' types who lack emotion and an appreciation of 'cute') partnered with a woman so dumb/blind she can't see him for what he really is, or their relationship as purely lust-based or transactional. No wonder it happens with stepfathers the most. Considering the quality of man they choose is even worse, with no genetic attachment, and possibly resentment/competition with the biological father, often leads to abuse if the daughter is pretty, while the mother is a gross whale or hag (often the case).

  • @thehuman2cs715
    @thehuman2cs715 3 місяці тому +639

    I'm a man who was sexually assaulted. Thankfully it was minor and even if it wasn't it could have never derailed my life as much as it would have if I was a woman and got pregnant. The resilience to go on with life after something so momentous and terrible speaks to an inner humanity and resilience far stronger than I and most others could ever have. I give all survivors of rape my strength, and I hope you have or will find peace and normality again at some point.

    • @drsunilreddyk
      @drsunilreddyk 3 місяці тому +147

      Don’t compare it honestly!Both men and women suffer and even if it is “minor” it is better not to compare or belittle it!Some are resilient,some aren’t,but I hope you get better.I ain’t a victim of rape,sexual abuse or even harassment,but I heard it is a hard thing to go through.Hope this helps❤

    • @lucypher5200
      @lucypher5200 3 місяці тому +3

      @@drsunilreddykwell men don’t go through the trauma of being impregnated by their rapists sooooooooo compared to women it’s minor

    • @mstines
      @mstines 3 місяці тому +7

      ❤❤❤

    • @owoisabelle4385
      @owoisabelle4385 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@@lucypher5200men are humans too. Just because they can't get pregnant doesn't mean that there isn't lingering trauma. Men have higher suicide rates than woman. Stop being selective about care and actually have some humanity

    • @helenzhang1604
      @helenzhang1604 2 місяці тому +90

      @@lucypher5200 i still wouldn't call it minor. men can also be forced to have children; there was a case where a young boy was raped by his babysitter and he became a father at the age of 11. yes, sexual assault is often traumatic for women in ways that it is not for men, but i don't think we should use that to diminish the experiences of male victims.

  • @ashlielove6513
    @ashlielove6513 3 місяці тому +88

    I am an unwanted child. Conceived by two people who never should have been together but kept to raise because my mother felt like she had to. I have a full blood brother who was allegedly conveived out of rape that she gave up for adoption, that I have never met. My mother treated me like someone she had to endure...not someone she choose to love.
    I never NEVER in a million years want another child to be forced to endure that. Women who raise children born of rape with unconditional love and acceptance...are superheroes.

    • @annabelle8084
      @annabelle8084 3 місяці тому +7

      you deserved love from your mother, but she was too traumatised to give that to you. You are a survivor and the child of a survivor so thank you for sharing. My heart is with you. I hope men who rape will see much more suffering in our time.

    • @Sweet_Wild_Life_Art
      @Sweet_Wild_Life_Art 2 місяці тому

      But who is your mothers superhero?

    • @760mom
      @760mom 22 години тому

  • @yesibot.2051
    @yesibot.2051 4 місяці тому +425

    My grandma was a child born from rape. My great grandma was probably 14, when a soldier busted into their home and took advantage of her. When my grandma was born, the soldier came back looking for her …so my Great grandma hid her in a shoebox under the bed. She was mostly raised by her own grandma, and grew up too quick. Her mom married in her 20s and had more babies. She would say her half siblings didn’t love her ,but they adored her …to this day the last living sister has great memories of her. She raised them little ones since her mom died of cervical cancer 😔 . She was always cold and rigid. I understand her more now although she passed years ago(2008). Rest well grandma ❤️

  • @CTN404
    @CTN404 4 місяці тому +508

    My mother was abused by my father… and when people say your daughter looks like you. She says flatly no. She looks like her father. She was dismissive of me. Ignored me whenever i talked to her. Gossiped about me, laughs at me… Belittling every accomplishment I have done. I once told her, there are women who aren’t treated well by their partners and take it out on the child as revenge. Oh boy did she scream defensively at me.

    • @oceanheartz717
      @oceanheartz717 3 місяці тому +15

      😢😢

    • @jilldowding-walker8066
      @jilldowding-walker8066 3 місяці тому +103

      I'm sorry she treated you this way. But you have intrinsic worth. It is notbyour fault. I hope this doesn't stop you from being a successful, happy, fulfilled person. ❤

    • @ewankonapo
      @ewankonapo 3 місяці тому +67

      it's not an excuse to hurt others

    • @4651adri
      @4651adri 3 місяці тому +33

      It's not an excuse but it's an explanation. Maybe they can start from there and heal their relationship instead of blaming eachother

    • @Skyset_angel
      @Skyset_angel 3 місяці тому +2

      I’m so sorry

  • @lindadspeed3999
    @lindadspeed3999 4 місяці тому +592

    The shame is on the abuser and none of these women and their children.

  • @amberdinsdale9578
    @amberdinsdale9578 10 місяців тому +4819

    The only ones who should be carrying shame and guilt r the rapists, not the rape victims not and these innocent people that were conceived through rape.

    • @hayleyfay4779
      @hayleyfay4779 4 місяці тому +85

      nice dream..... but unfortunately its not reality

    • @warpedweft9004
      @warpedweft9004 4 місяці тому +107

      When you grow up being told that every bad thing that happened or choice a parent made over which you had no control was due to your existence, it does terrible things to your mind. It's a life sentence. You can learn to live with it and not let it control your life outwardly, but inside, the emotional scars never heal.

    • @TH-eb5ro
      @TH-eb5ro 4 місяці тому +42

      Well yes, in an ideal world but there is also science to support that trauma is passed from mother to children so it needs to be dealt with.

    • @MarioGreco
      @MarioGreco 4 місяці тому +3

      @amberdinsdale9578 I completely agree with you.

    • @pooppoop-hw9ue
      @pooppoop-hw9ue 4 місяці тому

      ​@@hayleyfay4779your children are not an EXTENSION of YOU!

  • @Wtvrflotesurgoat
    @Wtvrflotesurgoat 3 місяці тому +384

    Birth has left my uterus falling out dragging my bladder and rectum with it. Years of painful reconstructive surgeries and major ptsd from the pain of the birth and a fractured tailbone. A lifetime of dysfunction. Not being able to evacuate stools without daily medical intervention constantly leaking urine all from giving birth. If I had become pregnant from a rape I would have already ended my life…

    • @madscottish5673
      @madscottish5673 3 місяці тому +62

      I am sorry to hear that you have suffered and this has affected your experience of being a mother because of the pain and suffering. If you managed to be a loving mother after dealing with your pain and suffering then you have done so well. You deserve some love, tender care, and consideration for a malfunction of the body that usually leaves a mother with less to no trauma. I hope you are well looked after and that people help you care for your child as you struggle with what life has dished out to you. I really do understand as I have chronic pain so this comes from the heart. May you find some comfort, peaceful, and enjoyable times despite the daily struggles with health issues. Not forgotten in the comments. An inspiration to keep going and trying to offer something to the world around you. Thanks for the share. xx🌹

    • @mstines
      @mstines 3 місяці тому +7

    • @fujiwater8574
      @fujiwater8574 2 місяці тому +16

      Well thank goodness the males aren’t going off on u for that. Very well said, may God bless u and ur child

  • @crzrck
    @crzrck Місяць тому +31

    My niece who is 31 yrs old was conceived thru rape.. Her birth reunited a fractured family and brought joy to all our lives.... She is now a mother to 4 wonderful children.....She was loved and cared for by everyone in the family...I owe her a debt of gratitude for changing my heart..Her life softened the heart of her stiff necked hard hearted uncle...

  • @ChibiChuri
    @ChibiChuri 3 місяці тому +171

    My mom never blamed me for what happened to her. And I love her so much for that. Didn't have to love me, but she showed me nothing but unconditional love

  • @ameyburden8961
    @ameyburden8961 4 місяці тому +839

    I was raped when I was 19 I got pregnant I kept it to myself for years telling inly my youngest sister. I had MY son who I love with all my heart I Thank God for him then one day he asked me if his father was his real dad my heart sunk because the hardest thing for me was to tell my child that I was rapes when I got pregnant with him I told him he was upset but now we are so much closer I would go thro it all over again for my son I could not imagine life without him.God gave me this Amazing son.

    • @amazingjane2703
      @amazingjane2703 4 місяці тому +44

      That is just wonderful and a testament to the power of divine Love. What a shining example of the power of good. You are both blessed because you overcame hatred with love.

    • @colettegibson6516
      @colettegibson6516 4 місяці тому +5

      Why did he query it in the first place?

    • @YvonneBlake-d5j
      @YvonneBlake-d5j 4 місяці тому

      Why did you feel the need to tell him he was conceived by your being raped?

    • @sammyk707
      @sammyk707 3 місяці тому +8

      Made me cry 💔 you are a great mother and I’m so deeply sorry you had to experience such evil

    • @ameyburden8961
      @ameyburden8961 3 місяці тому +18

      @colettegibson6516 If your asking why did he ask if his dad was his father I believe it's because he did nit look like him I am Native American his dad is Caucasian and his sister looks like his dad but he takes more after my side with the Native and the man who raped me is Native.

  • @arcious60
    @arcious60 3 місяці тому +173

    My child was conceived from hate but is still MY child. I will raise this child with love when it's born.

    • @madscottish5673
      @madscottish5673 3 місяці тому +10

      And others need to love you for that. You need it and it helps change the course of people's lives.

    • @ArtofE
      @ArtofE 3 місяці тому +9

      You are amazing, sending love 💕

    • @blindknitter
      @blindknitter 3 місяці тому +1

      God bless you. Have you got support? How can we help you?

    • @Perina19
      @Perina19 3 місяці тому +1

      You’re honestly amazing 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • @owoisabelle4385
      @owoisabelle4385 3 місяці тому +1

      You're amazing. God bless you ❤

  • @Tahj-Leigh
    @Tahj-Leigh 3 місяці тому +349

    I was assaulted in college by someone who i thought was my friend and the day i found out i was pregnant was the worst day of my life. The guilt and shame were so overwhelming that i attempted to take my own life. I was disgusted at the thought of carrying my rapist's baby to term so I had an abortion. I made the right decision by putting my mental health first and 12 years later, I STILL don't have any regrets.

    • @TheSignofJonah777
      @TheSignofJonah777 2 місяці тому +9

      I pray for that child and that you would realize the enemies deception.

    • @immadaddyyourpig8878
      @immadaddyyourpig8878 2 місяці тому +11

      @@TheSignofJonah777eww making innocent girls carry their rapist baby is the most evilest thing you can make someone do 🤮

    • @thelordoftime803
      @thelordoftime803 2 місяці тому +3

      @@TheSignofJonah777 There's no deception whatsoever and that wasn't a child, it was a mass of cells that carry the genes of someone you don't choose. Procreation should only happen between people who have consented, because there are billions of years of evolutionary reasons for which we choose who to have kids with.

    • @MOSIMA.
      @MOSIMA. 2 місяці тому +152

      you made the right decision girl.

    • @TheSignofJonah777
      @TheSignofJonah777 2 місяці тому +9

      @@MOSIMA. to tell a woman that her pregnancy had no value is to denigrate the woman and the child

  • @sophiathieme3037
    @sophiathieme3037 3 місяці тому +136

    The rape used against people as a war tool that happened against the Tutsi is one of the most horrific and terrifying stories I’ve ever heard of.. I’m admiring the strength of each and every survivor

    • @Chocolate_teapot420
      @Chocolate_teapot420 2 місяці тому +6

      It’s happening in Gaza too.

    • @Adonnus100
      @Adonnus100 2 місяці тому +2

      @@Chocolate_teapot420 sources?

    • @Chocolate_teapot420
      @Chocolate_teapot420 2 місяці тому

      @@Adonnus100 check the ICC bro

    • @AW-xc1xc
      @AW-xc1xc 2 місяці тому +13

      @@Adonnus100Common knowledge of the nature of war.

    • @goldendiamon
      @goldendiamon Місяць тому

      Also happened in Philippines during world War II when our grandmas became the comfort women because of some Japanese Soldiers

  • @lisasteen66
    @lisasteen66 10 місяців тому +121

    I just strumbled acrossed this video on UA-cam. In 2004, my kids were taken from me by the authorities. I was devastated. I never watch TV, but in 2004, I just happened to turn the television on, and there was this documentary on rape victims from Rawanda. Most of victims experienced things I could not imagined, but they were just so resilient. I couldn't believe it! They gave me a lot of hope. Your program reminded me of that.❤

    • @JustAnotherAbdi
      @JustAnotherAbdi 4 місяці тому +5

      I hope you got your diamonds back 🫶🏿❤️ I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like 😢❤️

  • @jasminelee1234
    @jasminelee1234 4 місяці тому +316

    I cannot believe the things so called ‘human beings’ are capable of doing to others. Each of these people featured are so brave and dignified in spite of what was inflicted upon them. ❤

    • @thrashhippie
      @thrashhippie 4 місяці тому +5

      I feel for you all. You are all so brave. None of you should feel shame. You are not the abusers. I wish you all well. Take care.

    • @XZY382
      @XZY382 4 місяці тому +5

      Not all human beings are human beings, and this video demonstrates this perfectly.

    • @yellowblanka6058
      @yellowblanka6058 2 місяці тому +1

      I can't even conceive of deriving pleasure from somebody crying, resisting and clearly not enjoying it as you force yourself on them...that is just so abhorrent to me, can't fathom that mindset. Intimacy should be about mutual affection, never violence and control. There are some very fundamentally broken people out there, maybe they were sexually abused when they were children and it was normalized for them, or they're just wired wrong in the head.

  • @lizbrooks1953
    @lizbrooks1953 4 місяці тому +233

    What an exceptional presentation. Each Lady & child were treated with such dignity, respect & kindness. Please do more along these
    lines.

  • @beatrice6817
    @beatrice6817 3 місяці тому +188

    How on earth do people blame a child or any person for the matter for being raped!?

    • @sabrinamystified
      @sabrinamystified 3 місяці тому +33

      Just like they blame the grape victims.. In the same way. There are too many deranged people living among us.

    • @paulmayson3129
      @paulmayson3129 2 місяці тому +6

      ​@@sabrinamystified What is a grape victim? Were they assaulted by a grapefruit? Call things by their name.

    • @alyssapinon9670
      @alyssapinon9670 2 місяці тому +9

      @@sabrinamystifiedeasy for people to feel like they will never be victims if they act in a proper way. Certainly much easier than holding perps accountable in a society that protects them. Where many people in the legal world are also perps.

  • @ilovecatsnteanbooks3971
    @ilovecatsnteanbooks3971 4 місяці тому +420

    I am a product of rape, my mother was only 16. I have had a terrible life and have absolutely no luck. I feel like I am paying for the sin of my father. I’ve never felt like I belong anywhere. I feel like I’m walking under a cloud that follows me around constantly 😞

    • @NicoleGibson-87
      @NicoleGibson-87 4 місяці тому +36

      ❤ god loves you

    • @Kettyperry11
      @Kettyperry11 4 місяці тому +11

      I m in same 😢😢

    • @tactician6129
      @tactician6129 4 місяці тому

      God holds no value here.​@@NicoleGibson-87

    • @Gladiolus-f4s
      @Gladiolus-f4s 3 місяці тому +42

      You were made in the image of God and meant to be here. Jesus loves you. Regardless of who our birth parents are, we can all choose to be God’s children, and God is our ultimate father.
      Hope you’ll walk out of the cloud and find the light ❤

    • @s.e.e455
      @s.e.e455 3 місяці тому +12

      I’m sorry that you have struggled so much. You are a strong woman, valued, and your life has purpose. I hope you find love and happiness.

  • @ccutehoney
    @ccutehoney 4 місяці тому +1157

    This is why the ability to have a choice to not continue a pregnancy is so important for women!! This is horrible for everyone in this situation except the perpetrators

    • @Bebedollie
      @Bebedollie 4 місяці тому +68

      Abortion is murder tho
      It's not the babies fault or the one who got raped
      But u can't just say Abortion is the answer because that's wrong too

    • @YvonneBlake-d5j
      @YvonneBlake-d5j 4 місяці тому

      @@BebedollieHave you ever been raped? Are you capable of carrying a child in your uterus by someone who violated you? Walk in their shoes and see if you can make that decision!

    • @kameralkutie5594
      @kameralkutie5594 4 місяці тому +526

      @@Bebedollie Your opinion isn't everyone's opinion. Everyone thinks differently, have different situations, and handles things differently, so that's why having a choice matters. Your opinion should not apply to someone else's life that has absolutely nothing to do with your life. Get over yourself.

    • @lorimav
      @lorimav 4 місяці тому +48

      Murder is a worse crime than rape. Rape damaged a person often for the rest of their lives. Abortion annihilates an innocent victim. You can't commit a much worse act than that.

    • @kameralkutie5594
      @kameralkutie5594 4 місяці тому

      @@lorimav I said what I said and I stand on what I said.😏 YOU don’t have the right to tell anyone what do with their body. You pro life people are just talk. There are over 600,000 children in three states alone that need families. So clearly it’s not about the so called “children” it’s truly about pushing your own narratives on other people. And most of people wouldn’t be saying this if you were raped or a close relative like your DAUGHTER was raped with an unwanted pregnancy. So dismiss me with that rape is worse than murder nonsense when it’s a clump of cells. You aren’t providing any financial support for the children in foster care, you aren’t adopting these children, you aren’t financially responsible for the women and girls who are raped and their medical bills, you aren’t financial supporting their lifetime of mental and physical health. And since you are so holy you would know that no sin is greater than another sin, so go check that you ignorant Bible Thumpers.♟️

  • @777ALCHEMY
    @777ALCHEMY 4 місяці тому +465

    I have a daughter conceived by unconsented exchange.
    I will never tell her, she will never know. She is my world and the smartest, most precious little spirit.

    • @YvonneBlake-d5j
      @YvonneBlake-d5j 4 місяці тому +18

      But here you’re on the internet!

    • @777ALCHEMY
      @777ALCHEMY 4 місяці тому

      @@YvonneBlake-d5j lol you gonna hunt my toddler down in a few years? Karen

    • @777ALCHEMY
      @777ALCHEMY 4 місяці тому +153

      @@YvonneBlake-d5j did that help you release some emotions, Yvonne? Good. 🤍

    • @LGrian
      @LGrian 4 місяці тому +48

      Please reconsider. Children sense and know so much more than you think. She will eventually know you haven’t told her the whole truth and it will hurt her far more than the reality.

    • @777ALCHEMY
      @777ALCHEMY 4 місяці тому +59

      @@LGrian UA-cam comments always want to turn a simple sentence into a life lesson or lecture lol

  • @nervo
    @nervo Рік тому +50

    Wow, this is truly one of the most moving documentaries I've seen. I cried from the start to the end. Thank you so much for shining the light here and not making others feel as alone. "I had to survive to survive" really spoke to me. I think there are more women than we would like to realise who understand this sentence. Thank you again.

    • @realomegamodern
      @realomegamodern 19 днів тому +1

      didnt expect nervo to comment on such a difficult topic

  • @Em-me3
    @Em-me3 4 місяці тому +123

    This woman Sammy is incredible at narrating and connecting with/interviewing others - I completely thought she was a BBC correspondent the whole way through until reading the blurb at the end of the video! Wow

  • @Ida-qc5rd
    @Ida-qc5rd 2 місяці тому +27

    I had a friend who got pregnant by rape. She said she always wanted a baby, so she would keep it, and said, "but my kid isn't going to look or act like him"! She had a boy, who actually took after her side of the family, and the first thing she did was part his hair differently (anyway). She got married to a nice man who adopted her son, and today he's a respected psychologist.

    • @CG-vn5xh
      @CG-vn5xh 2 місяці тому +1

      She’s amazing.

  • @LushRushwithBirdie
    @LushRushwithBirdie 3 місяці тому +33

    My older sister was born like this. My mom loved her so much although she was forced to have her a a literal child. My sister is older now and absolutely hates my mother, but I think she has internalized shame from how she was conceived. Because if this, it causes my mom never ending grief. An experience that happened over 30 years ago impacts her still to this day. But I’m so proud if my mom, she’s going a baking business and lots of friends and support.

    • @pratimadebnath8569
      @pratimadebnath8569 2 місяці тому

      your older sis don't deserve mom like her

    • @CG-vn5xh
      @CG-vn5xh 2 місяці тому +3

      You’re Mum is awesome

  • @LucyBee11235
    @LucyBee11235 4 місяці тому +40

    It was so moving to see the empathy between women who have been through the same horrible situation. They had the power of knowing exactly how awful the other’s experience was and exactly how to help her to heal and overcome.

  • @vs1399
    @vs1399 4 місяці тому +480

    I am a product of the title. I was told this information during an awful argument. It was meant to hurt me. My last child is also a product of the above. I have not told her nor will I ever. She is my brilliant beautiful baby well teenager now. Our origin is not who we are. I love me. I wouldn't change me for the world. Same goes for my baby. Love yourselves. Sending love to anyone like me ❤❤❤❤

    • @duskripper6650
      @duskripper6650 3 місяці тому +59

      What a terrible thing to use that information to hurt you during an argument. I'm very sorry someone did that to you, and I fully support your decision to not tell your daughter about the situation in which she was conceived. I hope you are doing well ❤

    • @tessarynjah4395
      @tessarynjah4395 3 місяці тому +26

      I was told the same thing by my mother when she was arguing with my father. Although my father has passed away i still hate him. I felt like maybe my mother is reminded everyday what happened to her everytime she has to look at me I don't blame her. It's breaks me apart everyday she could have just told me in a better way I'll understand but the way i got the information I was only 14 destroyed my life. Still haven't healed from it. I feel like I'm not normal at all.

    • @ilonapecze268
      @ilonapecze268 2 місяці тому +3

      I'm so sorry it happened to you 😢 you are incredibly strong for breaking this cycle❤

    • @eee-san1259
      @eee-san1259 2 місяці тому +2

      ​@@tessarynjah4395I hope you do heal, even if it takes a while. ❤

    • @tessarynjah4395
      @tessarynjah4395 Місяць тому +1

      @@eee-san1259 thank you 🙏🏼

  • @JESSIE-orange
    @JESSIE-orange 3 місяці тому +95

    I’m not a SA baby myself but when my mum was pregnant with me she was drugged and SA’d and it’s sickening how some ppl can be so sickening and heartless

  • @tribyte4813
    @tribyte4813 4 місяці тому +72

    I want all these people find peace, healing and community. None of them deserved what they've been through.

  • @rolandscales9380
    @rolandscales9380 Рік тому +687

    It disturbs me that there are respectable, high-minded people around who would have us believe that conception through rape is impossible.

    • @BrizzB
      @BrizzB 10 місяців тому +1

      As long as men can pretend it doesn't happen, they can continue to control women's reproductive rights. It's alarming how ignorant most of them are about female anatomy. Like....mind blowingly ignorant.

    • @malwads1836
      @malwads1836 4 місяці тому +49

      As disturbing as it is.... It's actually a valid mating strategy🤢.It's horribly UNETHICAL obviously but it still apparently has similar success rates to consensual intimacy.This horrible 💩 happened all the time during wars & whatnot & sadly in some cases it was even used as a form of genocide to wipe out a entire people's ancestry.

    • @jojobizarrelivingstone594
      @jojobizarrelivingstone594 4 місяці тому +4

      Thats a thing? (Im not asking if its real)

    • @sheilaboston7051
      @sheilaboston7051 3 місяці тому

      @@jojobizarrelivingstone594 That same statement was made by a US Republican (religious nut-job) politician in regard to the 'right to choose' argument. He said that the exception for rape and incest wasn't needed because a woman can't get pregnant from rape ...

    • @popsicIes
      @popsicIes 3 місяці тому +11

      @@malwads1836 I don't know if i want an explanation on that last part

  • @Samantha-vlly
    @Samantha-vlly 4 місяці тому +47

    To all people that watched this, please spread the link. People should know the after effect of the survivors who had children. This deserved to be heard as well.

  • @adem6371
    @adem6371 4 місяці тому +44

    The shame is for the predators. You’re all amazing

  • @missABR1
    @missABR1 3 місяці тому +34

    Well that had me in floods of tears. For that woman raped by her father at 11 to have never been told it was not her fault is just horrendous. I am glad these two women met.

  • @yellowishgreendragon.-.
    @yellowishgreendragon.-. 3 місяці тому +392

    I couldn't continue with the pregnancy. I just can't. A child deserves better. I deserve better.

    • @Alexii18
      @Alexii18 3 місяці тому +40

      Sending lots of love ❤️ ❤❤

    • @RuthMcDougal
      @RuthMcDougal 3 місяці тому +81

      I agree, it’s tough. Every child should be a choice. No one should ever be forced to carry a child they don’t want or that was forced upon them. That way, if they do choose to have the child, the child will know it was the mother’s free choice. Not forced or coerced.

    • @Mikael-jt1hk
      @Mikael-jt1hk 3 місяці тому +24

      A child deserves better so you MURDER IT? What a sound and logical argument.. Also, miscarriages are pretty traumatic to women when they dont actively chose to have them. Imagine making the decision to kill that child. No matter what happened to you before, thats just something you will never forget or forgive yourself for. Once you become pregnant, its not about you anymore. I know thats hard for a lot of modern women to fathom.

    • @Alexii18
      @Alexii18 3 місяці тому +146

      @@Mikael-jt1hk shut up

    • @Hippogriff333
      @Hippogriff333 3 місяці тому +5

      @@Mikael-jt1hk Hey a$$hole, I pray you go through the pain and trauma she went through ❤️❤️❤️

  • @ratdoto2148
    @ratdoto2148 2 місяці тому +15

    My utmost gratitude goes out to every mother who gave their unconditional love to their child born from such tragedy. I believe in your exceptional circumstances you had the right to terminate your pregnancy, and I deeply respect the unimaginable self sacrifice you gave to instead carry it to term, you are true heroes. I wish nothing but the best for you.
    I also wish nothing but the best for those who couldn't go through with it, you are not lesser than any of us, your decision is understandable, and you do not even need to be forgiven.

  • @weevil8025
    @weevil8025 3 місяці тому +26

    I was born by a child who was groomed by a considerably older man. My mum went on to abuse me and my siblings for the majority of our childhoods until we ended up in foster care. She was outspoken about being pro-life, and I just think about all of the suffering that could have been prevented had she believed differently. It destroyed her life, she's in hospital dying as I type this, and while I hate her for abusing us, I also feel bad for her. My life has been hell, and I wonder if souls existed, maybe I could have been born to a mother who wanted and loved me if she had chosen abortion.

    • @goldendiamon
      @goldendiamon 2 місяці тому +2

      You don't deserve to be killed.. Don't let the negative define you,okay? It's not your fault that people inflict their pain on you cuz you aren't the rapist...You deserve love and happiness ❤

  • @forgetmenot5037
    @forgetmenot5037 3 місяці тому +21

    As a psychology student this is such an eye opener. Thank you for this

  • @akosuakoranteng3327
    @akosuakoranteng3327 8 місяців тому +88

    Thank you for being brave enough to tell this story. Sending lots of love to all those in the documentary ❤

  • @ebonydarkness
    @ebonydarkness 4 місяці тому +123

    My mother, who I believe has undiagnosed psychosis, was taken advantage of by an older man. I wasn't wanted and my existence tied them together for years. She stayed with him even after he tried to kill her. My sperm donor sexually abused me when I was 9, used Craigslist Personals to find 18yo sex workers when I was not much younger, and married a woman barely older than me. So much predatory behaviour was normalized to me and I have survived abuse by other men thinking it was normal or my own fault.

    • @mimilikankkunen4865
      @mimilikankkunen4865 3 місяці тому +2

      Jesus loves you!

    • @gingersnaps81
      @gingersnaps81 3 місяці тому +14

      That must have been very heavy on you and I’m sorry you experienced that. I’m glad you could recognize the trauma and break the cycle. I’m sure you already know but I want to reaffirm to you its never your fault. Its so easy to fall into those patterns of the things modeled to you unconsciously and it takes so much strength and awareness to work past it. Bless you on your path and I wish you immense continuous healing.

    • @DannyPhantomBeast
      @DannyPhantomBeast 2 місяці тому

      @@mimilikankkunen4865your proselytization attempt is predatory behavior.

    • @lurji
      @lurji 2 місяці тому

      @@mimilikankkunen4865leave her alone

    • @AlexGamingConsole
      @AlexGamingConsole 2 місяці тому

      Make your own video. Leave the grief for the people in this story. They out so much effort in the video for you to try to steal the focus

  • @isabelleboulay2651
    @isabelleboulay2651 4 місяці тому +74

    I was told when I was 9, awakened in the middle of the night. I woke up the next day feeling like I'd had a bad nightmare while at the same time that it had really happened. I never knew him. People in my family know who he is but tell me they don't know. It's shameful, it's taboo and I'm a constant reminder of this to the entire family, on my mother's side and rejected by my adoptive father's side. I don't belong anywhere. I've moved around looking for a place that would feel like home. I'm indifferent to any particular place. They're all the same to me... I still don't know how to feel at home. The closest I've been to feeling at home is staying in my bed. It's hard to know where to go when you don't know where you're from. There's an emptiness, a feeling of loneliness that can never be changed. I'm not completely unhappy, I understand my mother and her issues. I haven't forgiven the invader, the one who deeply hurt my teenage mother and stole her innocence. I wish I could have saved her.... and me in the long term. it's difficult to describe... if I ever feel the courage or need to do so...like it's going to change anything.

    • @NoBodyShanti
      @NoBodyShanti 4 місяці тому +5

      i hear you.

    • @myjourneytojesus7437
      @myjourneytojesus7437 4 місяці тому +1

      Jesus can heal your wounds ❤

    • @oluwatofunmiayeni4758
      @oluwatofunmiayeni4758 3 місяці тому +2

      You’re loved byGod sweetheart and your surrounding situation doesn’t define you,read Ezekiel18:29-it’s God’s word for u,that u are born free

    • @Kiriza22
      @Kiriza22 3 місяці тому

      Jesus loves you, and he has the power to give you a sense of belonging and a great purpose in life.

    • @howareyoualiveifyoudonteatbeef
      @howareyoualiveifyoudonteatbeef 3 місяці тому

      I'm sorry for your experience. Please know that you were meant to be here, regardless of how you got here. You are meant to be here.

  • @sarahillingworth9257
    @sarahillingworth9257 Рік тому +96

    The courage they have to do this momentous. So inspiring

  • @Boo-pv4hn
    @Boo-pv4hn Рік тому +144

    I’m so glad stories are being done on this! People do stories on the victims of rape but not those born of rape, just left behind as something that people pretend doesn’t exist
    People ignore that these stories coming out on the paper often means that we see a lot of details we never knew often very young. This is really horrible and doesn’t protect the children at all, the shame and bullying of being born from a rapist. There’s so much cruelty

  • @paulanicole4786
    @paulanicole4786 4 місяці тому +58

    this is the most unique piece of media I have seen in a long time.

  • @anilu3021
    @anilu3021 4 місяці тому +20

    What a moving documentary. So important to hear these stories. We don’t talk enough about the ugly consequences of crime and abuse. Strength to you all ❤

  • @Samantha-vlly
    @Samantha-vlly 4 місяці тому +18

    Honestly, this feels heavy to watch. Every single moment they paused, speaks out the most to me. A reminder for me that understanding through compassion and empathy is what matters the most with every single person I’ll meet.

  • @mzm7179
    @mzm7179 3 місяці тому +24

    Thank you. If not for my IUD, I would be here, too. My heart to yours.

    • @madscottish5673
      @madscottish5673 3 місяці тому +4

      I hope you have loving people around you if that event from the past revisits you. It was not your fault and you were terribly violated by a bad person. xx

    • @mzm7179
      @mzm7179 3 місяці тому +3

      @@madscottish5673 I appreciate you, my friend. May the sun always shine on your back. xx

  • @jaclynzinck4241
    @jaclynzinck4241 4 місяці тому +14

    wow. just wow. this is probably one of the most deeply impactful documentaries I've ever seen on here, and I've seen many. these people are all so strong.

  • @callunya
    @callunya 12 днів тому +2

    15:44 thank you for being the first to tell her this. I’m gonna cry too. Such strong women.

  • @autumnislovely
    @autumnislovely 3 місяці тому +165

    It boggles my mind how so may people never think about the children born as a consequence of rape. They think about "a life," but never think about what the life entails. Living is hard enough, so why is it that some people want a child to suffer more than normal?

    • @ratdoto2148
      @ratdoto2148 2 місяці тому +10

      Denying someone their chance at life because they will suffer is a ludicrous notion, everyone suffers in life. I would never blame a rape victim for getting an abortion, but doing it for that reason is misguided, and I doubt very many people actually have done it for such a reason.

    • @pjp48
      @pjp48 2 місяці тому +1

      Living is hard if you make it hard for you and the people around you

    • @VictorianRabbit3456
      @VictorianRabbit3456 2 місяці тому +4

      @@ratdoto2148what’s the reason to then?

    • @sp33dweed77
      @sp33dweed77 15 годин тому

      ​@@ratdoto2148 but denying the mother a happy life ,what about the mothers life ?

    • @ratdoto2148
      @ratdoto2148 14 годин тому

      ​@@sp33dweed77 Not what I'm talking about at all is it?

  • @normabrien8331
    @normabrien8331 4 місяці тому +327

    It’s so revealing to hear the emotional damage done to these women. And now here in the United States republicans are so bent about abortion rights saying that women who have been raped have to give birth and at the same time they are against feeding children in schools and they are against healthcare, how twisted these people are it is beyond comprehension.

    • @picardy7488
      @picardy7488 4 місяці тому +52

      Yes, it's cruel. Young girls impregnated by their fathers will have to endure that - and can't escape. And giving up a child comes with trauma too.

    • @ma.amiradoranteskadoche4374
      @ma.amiradoranteskadoche4374 4 місяці тому +37

      Have you ever heard about quiverfull families? "We will have as many children as the lord may give, since they are his blessings", a cute thesis to found a movement on, right? In reality a church's assets are tied to the amount of believers giving their due tithe. So they push this narrative to get more and more devotees, while restraining family planning, forbidding any form of birth control and keeping their communities air tight, as to not have their beliefs questioned. It's quite the efficient system, since people are a renewable resource.
      Now apply that to a whole country and you got your answer.

    • @beautifulautumn1
      @beautifulautumn1 4 місяці тому

      So in your opinion, an innocent child should be murdered because of who his birth father is? At the same time, your beloved Democrats let innocent children get traffic (and routinely sexually assaulted across your Southern Border) your abortion mills do nothing when rapists bring their vìctims in to get rid of their unwanted evidence (they never call the police). Shame on you for allowing such evil. Your head is not right.

    • @malwads1836
      @malwads1836 4 місяці тому +18

      ​@@ma.amiradoranteskadoche4374I'm not 💩 on religion in general....But for me personally, 👀 that controlling stuff in certain groups is partially why I'm a lifelong atheist.

    • @TheDragiix3
      @TheDragiix3 3 місяці тому

      good grief, can a single online thread NOT be a whinge-fest about the american election? Republicans are literally only trying to make abortion a state issue rather than a national one. I agree that abortion for exceptions is important, but killing an unborn child is just as wrong as rape. It's OK to disagree with that, but god is it annoying this constant anti republican whining as if they were the devils. Their suggestion to make abortion a state issue is literally constitutionally better than the previous arrangement. America doesn't have good health care because you are all insanely unhealthy compared to Europeans, your system couldn't support ours based on the state of the people. Sorry but the dems who try to sell you universal health care are lying because they know it's not possible at this point in time.

  • @Chatterbox-94
    @Chatterbox-94 4 місяці тому +34

    As a person who has friends who have been raped I feel great pain for these innocent people. I can’t even fathom the psychological pain and torment they and their mothers have endured.

  • @person35790
    @person35790 4 місяці тому +192

    I wouldn’t tell a 12 yr old, honestly, if I could avoid it. 12 is such a difficult time, moving into puberty and not quite knowing themselves yet. I would wait until they are out of high school where they are at least somewhat better equipped to emotionally and rationally handle it.

    • @LGrian
      @LGrian 4 місяці тому +38

      Possibly but many people are hurt more by the secrets kept than by the difficult truth

    • @lunalove9395
      @lunalove9395 4 місяці тому +42

      I guess if they outright ask though then you can't exactly lie or dance around it - otherwise they might resent you for keeping it from them when they find out later.

    • @Ann-qe6py
      @Ann-qe6py 4 місяці тому +4

      I agree that 12 is too young. Seems that it would be better to wait until she is an adult.

    • @ivy456
      @ivy456 3 місяці тому +18

      It's young but at the same time you don't want that 12 year old looking for their father. Sometimes it's best to be honest even when it's hard.

    • @s.e.e455
      @s.e.e455 3 місяці тому +14

      I agree. You don’t have to lie, but you don’t have to immediately tell them about such a painful experience, either. You can tell them, “I want to tell you everything, but I’m not ready to tell you now. Please wait until after graduation.” And when you do tell them, let them know that they are YOUR child, no one else’s, and they have a loving mother. They are their own unique individual, who decides their own choices in life. Such tragedy doesn’t define who they are inside ❤

  • @shams61022
    @shams61022 4 місяці тому +22

    These humanbeings are just amazing.
    Thumbs up to all that went thru the challenges in life.
    Stay Strong.

  • @EfB-c2o
    @EfB-c2o 4 місяці тому +18

    This is such a very brave documentary and one to be revered. ⭐️ ❤️The huge amounts of courage it must have taken for all of those affected to speak out about the horrific events they have suffered and how they have turned those events into pure love for their children is nothing less than outstanding. An inspiration to all. Thank you for sharing your stories with everyone and inspiring others to come forward too. From pain can come 🥰

  • @arrowarrow17
    @arrowarrow17 4 місяці тому +12

    I want to be a friend for all these people. I am happy to see their smile.

  • @carolinapuebla6872
    @carolinapuebla6872 Рік тому +99

    I want to hug you all, it breaks my heart 🫂🫂🫂

  • @AnjaLSL
    @AnjaLSL 3 місяці тому +85

    To all the sons and daughters: You were born fresh and pure. ❤ You are all precious. You are only responsible for your own actions. You have done nothing wrong. You have the power to be who you want to be. ❤

  • @thearcanamodernau8130
    @thearcanamodernau8130 4 місяці тому +36

    Even though I was not conceived this way, the certainty that several of my ancestors were products of rape and I indirectly exist because of it, it's devastating

  • @Haru-dw8qd
    @Haru-dw8qd 3 місяці тому +10

    i was conceived from sa.
    my mother kept it from me and i never knew until i figured it out when i was older
    cause my father did the same thing to me and it started when i was barely 5 or 6, not that i can remember from anything but flashbacks, it's only an estimate because my childhood memories are heavily repressed.
    at the time i didn't know it was a bad thing, i thought it was a normal thing that dads do, i think.
    and now that i'm in my mid 20s and in therapy/on meds for ptsd and other issues it's only *just* hitting me how bad my childhood really was.
    and
    yeah thank you so much for putting these stories out there and letting people know just how damaging these things can be.

  • @skrq9167
    @skrq9167 3 місяці тому +26

    I came across a man who was told in his teens that his father is a rapist and that she had not seen him since the rape. I really felt for him, but he said he was mostly over it because in his 30's he had mentally adapted to it, but his has mother never adapted to it.

  • @leeangel8749
    @leeangel8749 10 місяців тому +14

    These people are all so incredibly brave and amazing. I’m so grateful and inspired by their stories of strength and overcoming some of the worse things that people can ever go through. God bless each and every one of them!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @PrismaticVelocity
    @PrismaticVelocity 2 місяці тому +2

    I’m not lying when I write this. This is one of the most heart touching, emotional, and informal documentary I have ever watched. Hearing other people’s struggles, pain, sorrow, anger, trauma it just shows you that you’re not alone. It gives us an open mind, shows us we’re not the only ones struggling. This shows us empathy. Thank you for sharing their stories with the world.

  • @leideningrid
    @leideningrid 7 місяців тому +14

    This was a great documentary. I think I can speak for everyone that it’s great that you’ve found one another and together be able to help each other. My heart goes out to you all x

  • @rajimac
    @rajimac 4 місяці тому +28

    Such a beautiful documentary about a difficult subject. None of the mothers or children should feel ashamed . They did nothing wrong. I hope the support group can help . It’s amazing what the did in Rowanda . Strength sones in numbers and talking .

  • @kgminnie
    @kgminnie 4 місяці тому +22

    Brave documentary....thank you. So sorry for all you've all been forced to carry and endure...loving and healing blessings. No blame, no shame, absolutely none is yours to carry.

  • @ElizabeteDe
    @ElizabeteDe 4 місяці тому +4

    I was in tears.. so much love and respect in this film, may god bless you all and keep safe ✝️

  • @clivematthews95
    @clivematthews95 Місяць тому +2

    This video is so beautiful. I’m sorry to all the victims in this video, and I admire the survivors, I thank God for all your strength

  • @eloschk
    @eloschk 3 місяці тому +4

    I'm so touched by this - thank you BBC for producing such meaningful content and giving these people voices. Props to the directors as well.

  • @margueritesheriff8935
    @margueritesheriff8935 4 місяці тому +18

    Amazing, brave, strong women. Good documentary - well done

  • @ktjamlex
    @ktjamlex 9 місяців тому +69

    Don't be ashamed - you should be proud of the strength shown by your mother and you. You are on a pedestal.

  • @KJ-wh8fu
    @KJ-wh8fu 4 місяці тому +6

    Thank you all for sharing your stories, heartbreaking as they are. All those who want to take away women's autonomy should watch this.

  • @gelyuk
    @gelyuk 2 місяці тому +2

    There is so much courage, empathy and willingness to understand each other, that i will share this video with the closest friends. Thank you for such a powerful message!

  • @oceanstaiga5928
    @oceanstaiga5928 4 місяці тому +6

    A very difficult and heartbreak video but so important to hear these stories. Thank you to everyone involved brave enough to share their story, wishing them all the best in life. The only people that should be ashamed is the perpetrators.

  • @lindawentink2725
    @lindawentink2725 4 місяці тому +6

    This was so sad but at the same time so beautiful to see these women sharing this pain and being supported.Thank you for this🤗🙏

  • @Wendy-Williams-NC
    @Wendy-Williams-NC 3 місяці тому +10

    Its never even occured to me to shame another human being because of how they were conceived?? Wow, this is so sad! I am so in awe of these mothers for loving these children! You are true moms!

  • @Windds
    @Windds 14 днів тому +4

    That’s such a heavy burden to have even when it isn’t your fault. You and Your mothers are strong people. I’m sorry you guys went through that stuff. I hope you guys find your way to heal and find your peace.

  • @supitchayapornadams8088
    @supitchayapornadams8088 3 місяці тому +8

    So sad to see one person ruined another people life completely

  • @jilldowding-walker8066
    @jilldowding-walker8066 3 місяці тому +93

    And Eva told the police, who were not interested. Yet the evidence stood before them, being disbelieved! Atrocious!!! 😢

    • @FilmBucket
      @FilmBucket 2 місяці тому +3

      sometimes, the reason police wont investigate stories of p@dos is the same reason you never see hannah montana and miley cyrus in the same room

    • @Smallie__
      @Smallie__ 2 місяці тому

      I'd take matters into my own hands fr

  • @isabellesarahwood5005
    @isabellesarahwood5005 3 місяці тому +4

    So much love to each of you , I can’t imagine how painful and liberating this must have been to disclose this part of your life. I have so much respect for your decision to come forward to help yourselves and others . God bless you all and bring you so much happiness in the future ❤

  • @MAROBI333
    @MAROBI333 10 місяців тому +124

    We go through hayell. Everybody wants to glorify it. My mother spent a lifetime trying to punsin me for what my father did. She hated me until the day she died. I have never even cried over her. I know she didn't deserve to go through raising me. I took it on the chin and just loved on myself more.

    • @lorimav
      @lorimav 4 місяці тому +25

      @@MAROBI333 Your mother had deep psychological problems before your conception. A normal well adjusted human being can distinguish between the abuser and an innocent child. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I raised 5 children. 3 of them were not biological and their biological mothers loved substances more than them. The state took them away from them because of severe neglect and abuse also.

    • @virginiaarthur5
      @virginiaarthur5 4 місяці тому +7

      It’s not all of us though I was born of rape to and my mom loved me and she’s my best friend

    • @MAROBI333
      @MAROBI333 4 місяці тому +5

      @@virginiaarthur5 beautiful

    • @goldendiamon
      @goldendiamon 4 місяці тому +13

      It's not your fault that people inflict their unhappiness upon you.Plss know that it ain't your fault

    • @Rad_Akali
      @Rad_Akali 3 місяці тому +23

      @@lorimav No, that is bullshit. You have no understanding of the psychological impacts of rape. It is torture, it is often a fate much worse than death. A child born of rape, all you can ever see on them is the rape that happened to you. Yes, the child doesn't deserve it; but it's not the mother's fault. Her only fault is that she did not do both herself and the child a much greater kindness and abort it.

  • @mjay858
    @mjay858 4 місяці тому +6

    I am so proud of all the people on this documentary you are the cream of the crop. Rising above the ugliness of the world/people that hurt you! You are so strong and brave.

  • @victoriakitty6994
    @victoriakitty6994 2 місяці тому +21

    My friend was rape, but she chose to abort it. I was there with her through all her struggles. I feel like the woman should be given the choice to abort if they feel they can't live with having the baby. Other people has no right to dictate what the woman and its her body and its her life