When we don't get validated seen heard known in our pain, then we stay in victim mode. We need to be witnessed then we can start healing. But if we can't find safe people to hold us in our story it's hard. Find safe trusting people ❤
No, turning to others for validation is NOT the solution. I'm utterly sick of liberals, in particular, thinking that the world must validate their delusions. It's that kind of attitude that is behind misogynistic policies that allow men to invade women's spaces and sports. Validation is an inside-job. Thinking otherwise is utter insanity.
@@noonespecial4171witnesses matter and the safest most truthful source of such is a Counsellor or therapist that you interviewed before trusting to ensure you build the stage for deeper trust in an attachment relationship which is vital even with hired professionals. ❤
I realised that feeling old anger and rage bubbling up is making me feel like a victim i.e. the feeling of powerlessness. This is, I believe, a big part why I resist, suppress anger. It’s a very fine line between feeling and acknowledging what has happened and not identifying with it. Would love for Irene to talk more about this nuance in more depth.
@anaisminto, Jen here from Irene's Team. I hear that you're having old anger and rage bubble up. Anger and rage are examples of what we call "healthy aggression" in this work. If we hold these feelings in, and don't express them, then it's not uncommon to shift into freeze and conservation physiology where feelings of powerlessness can be common. In this nervous system approach, we learn to attend to more what's happening in the moment, in the physiology. When we have a difficult time being with an experience, learning more about what's happening can be helpful (this is in part why Irene emphasizes education). Sometimes too we need to learn to cultivate the capacity to be with what we are feeling, and to learn to be with the related feelings that may arise - fear, grief, shame, and more. I'll link to some info about healthy aggression in case you want to learn more. What is Healthy Aggression? - irenelyon.com/2019/08/19/what-is-healthy-aggression/ Health Aggression: The Way to Un-Frustrate Frustration - sethlyon.com/healthy-aggression-the-way-to-un-frustrate-frustration/
Irene’s course has been a game changer for me. This time last year I was experiencing high levels of anxiety and hyper vigilance. I use her practices in my daily life. I’m so very grateful to her.🙏🏻
This is such awesome advice. #6. Yes. Because I see this all the time with my own kids that I homeschool. If it doesn't get used right away the skill or idea vanishes.
Thank you, I'm remembering hearing growing up from both school and home " why can't you be like your sister" grr because I am me❤️🔥 my sister is a lovely girl who had rheumatoid arthritis since she was 14 years old I'm seeing how her wish to be agreeable has affected her health and truly I want to be ME it has taken me until my mid 50's to come to love and accept myself and my sensitivity for the gift it is ❤️🔥
Thank you, Irene* Regarding the 5th habit, I will add my experience* Adversities & traumas in life resulted in nervous system dysregulation & I developed chronic gut issue and that lead to lack of iron, and that lead to anemia* If I didn't took care of eating and taking supplements, it would become much worse, but in the long run for complete healing, somatic work is necessary and the foundation of all healing* Otherwise, I will be staying in loop of constant fear of what to eat and which new supplement to take, with never solving the issue, but just partially mitigating the consequences.
#7!!! I needed to hear that oi. I find I have an inner bully still in this area I need to work with. Perfectionism and toxic shame seems to feel behind this. Ty for this. I need to understand the toxic shame stuff more I think. It made sense how you described how it will cause me to avoid.
Hi Irene. I have complex PTSD and I have frequent flashbacks about the abuse and abject neglect that happened to me in early childhood. So sometimes I do still feel like a "victim". I I also know now that I dissociate 0ften. I have had a long struggle with alcohol addiction. I have a really good therapist now and she is careful to go very slowly with me. I have been watching your videos for more than 3 years now and have learned such a lot. I am 69 years old and sometimes I feel like it's too late for me, that there isn't enough time left for me to heal.
It is so very difficult and very painful. I'm so sorry you went through such a frightening childhood. Just know that showing up to do the work is good enough. It doesn't matter if you're 69 or 99. It's not an outcome called "healed". It is an ongoing process and challenge and with this kind of healing work, slow is fast. I have D.I.D, a severe dissociative disorder from horrific, ongoing abuse growing up. We have flashbacks, nightmares and body memories every day but they are becoming less intense and less frightening as we keep showing up to do the work. We are growing in our inner compassion, acceptance, connection, kindness with each other. We are grateful to have survived long enough to find out the Truth of the world and ourselves. Is it really the evil, horrible world we were made to believe? Are we really the evil, horrible, unworthy, unlovable person who has no right to even take a breath of air or exist? We want to find out and we want to find out together so we have to keep making the choice to show up over and over and over again. It's a process.
@@annemurphy8074 Thank you so much for your reply. Your words mean a lot. Sometimes I get so tired. But I do keep showing up. I had a session with my therapist today.
@@christineewing3492 You're welcome. We understand, we still get really exhausted too. When trump won last Tuesday, we all thought death would be better, we were so tired of evil people not being held accountable, of "evil" seeming to win but then we quickly came out of that helpless, hopeless place. We decided to "show up" again. That's all we can do, keep making the choice over and over and over again, sometimes, many times a day. LOL We have learned that if we stay with the process, tiny, incremental changes happen and they add up to something measurable and no "evil" that is in the world can take that away. None of us can do this work alone. You have everything within you that you need, it just needs to be nurtured. Our therapist calls it "the wisdom of our system". We're sending you all the warmth, support and love that you always deserved but didn't receive through no fault of your own. It took us a long time to know, very gradually, our worth and feel the love within us so it may take a while for you too but that is ok. We're rooting for you!♥
@christineewing3492, it's understandable to feel like a victim at times when we've been through adversity and experienced a good deal of pain in our lives, and to dissociate as a way to get a break from these feelings. It's uplifting to hear that you've found a therapist who can understand the important of going slowly with you, and respecting your pace. I hear that sometimes you wonder if it's too late, if there's enough time. Sometimes it can be important to name our fears and concerns, to be heard and received. And other times we might recognize the fear, grief, and other feelings associated with these thoughts, and take it as an opportunity to meet ourselves there with kindness and care. It sounds like you're quite familiar with Irene's videos, and her heart meditation came to mind reading your comment so I'm sharing the link here - ua-cam.com/video/-p60UIgIe-I/v-deo.html
I am 65 and have been healing from trauma for a long time. It is my commitment to myself. Healing is a slow process, but it is the most important thing we can do imo.
Thank you Irene. There's videos of yours I've found challenging to hang with because the style of presentation can sometimes feel long winded and meandering. This is not one of those. Clarity of presentation is so important to effective get information across. This video nailed it. Thank you!
Many traumas are not even conscious, but you feel them in your body. I had parts split and dissociated, so I had to get conscious of those parts first. Otherwise you don't even know what you feel. My experience is that my inner healing, making stuff conscious and integration, heals my body. The way around compared to yout technique.
@MultiKoko73, It's great to hear that you found an approach that works for you. What you shared here can be common for people with a history that includes trauma. The nervous system approach that Irene teaches also invites people to come into contact with their felt experience in a gentle and titrated way. This includes when we don't know what happened or what we feel (similar to what you shared). And some who are drawn to this work need to first learn to settle and find safety before turning attention internally. Responding here as it sounds like you may have a different understanding of what Irene teaches. Hope this helps to clarify. - Jen here from Irene's Team.
Hello Irene 👋🏼 Thank you for the video and all that you do. Your work is gold and I have experienced its benefits before. Unfortunately I’m not in that place anymore: In many other videos you mention titration and a few times you mentioned how doing this work in a ‘too much too soon’ way can have disastrous effects and that you had something similar to this in your own journey. Unfortunately I think I did way too much, too soon. I basically forced my body out of dorsal vagal shutdown into feeling more. Now I realise that the shutdown was a form of protection and I ruptured it. I strongly felt that I couldn’t move on with my life until I left the dorsal vagal shutdown state and so I pushed and pushed, did hours and hours of grounding, movement, orienting a day. Now I’ve been having some dissociation, a lot of overstimulation, a feeling of having -100 energy level, and shaking. I get scared because I’m confused at what my body is doing and it’s getting harder and harder to trust it. I feel like I don’t know my body anymore and the relationship with it is awful. I’m scared of getting worse, potentially being hospitalised because of overstimulation and complete burnout. I don’t know what to do. I’m unsure if my body will go into the dorsal vagal shutdown again or remain so stressed and with a capacity of -100. I’m concerned that even a tiny bit of orienting or grounding could be too much and not beneficial. Please could you advise on what to do after making the mistake of doing way too much, too soon and having a really confusing, ruptured relationship with the body? Or please could you make a video answering this? I would be so, so grateful. Thank you
@PH-xz3cq, Jen here from Irene's Team. I replied to your question where you posted it on the other video, and will paste my reply here too so it's in both places. I hope that watching the video about focusing too much on body sensations (ua-cam.com/video/WdlapW-8h20/v-deo.html&lc=UgzxyQkbAzIIapmf3ON4AaABAg) gave you some ideas for how to support yourself through what you're going through. As this is an educational channel, I'm not able to provide personal guidance and I can offer you some general education for your consideration. While it can be scary to start feeling much more when after we've been in freeze/conservation physiology for a long time, it can also be part of the process. If it feels like too much, a few things that may be supportive can include co-regulating (with nature, a pet, a safe person, music, etc.), turning towards things in life that feel at all settling or soothing, and practicing containment. Know too that it can take time to settle when there is a lot of sympathetic nervous system (SNS) activation moving through the nervous system, and it can be important to remember that the steps we take to support ourselves matter, even when we don't notice anything changing in the moment. If it's an option, you might also consider consulting with a trained nervous system practitioner. I'll share a few links related to what I've shared here. 4 Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/ DIY: Ancient Anxiety Medicine [a containment practice] - ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html Four ways to spark up our social engagement nervous system without socializing. [coregulation] - irenelyon.com/2020/06/14/four-ways-to-spark-up-our-social-engagement-nervous-system-without-socializing/
@themollsta, This video of Irene's came to mind when I saw your comment. It's not the same as what you asked about, and it might offer you some food for thought from the opposite perspective. Trauma Tip #3 - Why everyone can heal, but not everyone will. - irenelyon.com/2018/10/19/why-everyone-can-heal-but-not-everyone-will/ - Jen here from Irene's Team.
I appreciate your work, but I find the title of this video misleading. I would call this maybe "guiding beliefs" or "guiding strategies", but not really habits. To me, habits are not the mindset but the things that I can actively DO on a regular basis, and I would have loved to hear about that.
Great to hear about your interest in the Scientuitive Practitioner Training (SPT)! The first training is currently underway, and dates for the future training will be announced mid to late 2025. If you'd like to get on the interest list, send an email to support@Irenelyon.com and they'll add you to the list. Completion of SmartBody SmartMind (smartbodysmartmind.com/) is a prerequisite for applying to the training, so if you're not an SBSM member I encourage you to check it out.
Irene, I relate so much with your husband’s experience , specially around the limiting beliefs he had about money when you guys first met. Yet, there is one sentence he mentioned in a response to a question I had posted a few months ago, that has stuck with me since ! He mentioned the ability/need to “ Learn HOW to Learn “ Omg! Can you please talk about this. Can you chop it down in small bites for those of us neglected children that were taught absolutely NOTHING!!! For example, I purchased your 21 days about a year ago. I started doing it, and as usual, it faded away from my reality. How do I learn how to learn? Thank you!
@bpassion4fashion581, great question! One key part of learning has to do with how we pay attention. Much of the practical side of Irene's work revolves around invitations to different ways to pay attention to oneself and one's present moment experience. The Feldenkrais Method more specifically has much to do with learning how to learn and neuroplasticity. And, learning can involve change. For many of us with a history of trauma change can be scary. When this is the case, starting small and finding an accessible entry point can help. "Titration" is a term we use in this nervous system work to refer to exploring a little at a time. I'll share a few related links where you can find out more. I also encourage you to come back to the 21 Day Tune Up and ask your questions on the course site. There are a few of us who answer questions in there can offer suggestions as to how to start. Should we “correct” people? Feldenkraisian Learning & Neuroplastic Healing. - irenelyon.com/2024/11/03/should-we-correct/ Titration Epxlained: Never Rush Trauma Healing - irenelyon.com/2020/04/26/titration-explained-never-rush-trauma-healing/
There seems to be need to reframe the term victim mentality. It connotes a degree of self pity and not wanting to take action when it’s a state of being in active trauma.
Yeah I guess since I'm just now strong enough to walk through the nightmares (not even) I've recently become strong enough to remember... I guess I'm not ready for this lol should take a long vaca from this apparently 😅 I don't think I'm using a victim mentality, but im atill activly realizing and working through the fact i was a victim. That's going to take some time. Maybe im not ready for this 😅
Hi irene! 🎉❤ I need some reassurance that doing these small exercises is helping my nervous system to become regulated. Like how can humming whilst compressing your ear actually do anything. Also im not sure if my system is dysregulated and i need the 21 days could you respond what the 21 days would do for someone who is not in fight flight or freeze. Much love ❤
I'm not an expert. But I've seen the figure "21 days", as the time that typically suffices for any changed routine to become a habit. Then the new actions seem to be almost automatic.
@rikki-leenichols9199, generally speaking practicing neurosensory exercises consistently, and eventually weaving them into daily life until they become habits, can be an important part of growing nervous system capacity and regulation. I'll link to a video about neurosensory exercises where you can learn more. You asked about what the 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up course might do for someone who is not in fight or flight. Pretty much everyone can benefit from growing nervous system regulation and capacity, and most of us have some degree of held flight or fight in the system (though we may not know this). Participating in the 21 Day course can many benefits! These vary by person and to name a few, we may feel more connected to ourselves, others.& the planet, strengthen the connection to our embodied experience, experience sounder sleep, healthy digestion, more ease, more awareness of life purpose, and more. Irene has a related video about the benefits of regulation that I'll share as well. Neurosensory exercises (the practical side of my work) - irenelyon.com/2021/09/12/neurosensory-exercises-the-practical-side-of-my-work/ 9 Key Benefits We Experience When Our Nervous System Is Regulated - irenelyon.com/2018/09/30/9-benefits-nervoussystem-regulated/ - Jen from Team Lyon
Right! That’s why this video wasn’t helpful to me, but leaves me with the same feeling I know all too well, i.e. ‘look at him or her, they are doing much better than you, because……. (fill in the dots). It’s a subtle form of shaming actually. I believe each person one day individually reaches that point of ‘NOW I’ve REALLY had ENOUGH of being a victim!’ This is what induces their true healing. Not the subtle type of shaming that apparently keeps going around and around in all layers of humanity…
@poixone, yes, it often does help with depersonalization and derealization (DP/DR). From a nervous system perspective, DP/DP are symptoms of the freeze response. Irene has a related video, I'll share a link in case you want to check it out. - Jen from Team Lyon What causes dissociation and what it takes to heal - ua-cam.com/video/-PMeMxO8yz8/v-deo.html
But Irene, how are people supposed to “start right away” when you don’t allow people to sign up for your program for several months and only allow sign up on one pre determined date? This sounds like sales and marketing gimmick to build up hype. Unfortunately I could not wait and in trying alternatives it made things considerably worse, set me back much further, and now I’m not working as a result. Certain sales and marketing tactics do not belong in this line of work. This is so insensitive to people who need this help!
@rachelrose9856, Jen here from Irene's Team. I'm sorry to hear that you explored other alternatives that set you back further. You definitely don't have to wait for SBSM to get started, and it sounds like this wasn't clear. You can start with this work anytime through Irene's free resources or her 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up course (SmartBody SmartMInd is the only program that has a waitlist as it runs "live" twice a year). I'll share links to info about the 21 Day NS Tune Up course and some info about working with free resources if you'd like to check them out. 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com/ 4 Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/ Learn to release your trauma safely (using free resources alone). Marina's story - ua-cam.com/video/Y0GQTTD5EP8/v-deo.html
When we don't get validated seen heard known in our pain, then we stay in victim mode. We need to be witnessed then we can start healing. But if we can't find safe people to hold us in our story it's hard. Find safe trusting people ❤
Yourself is the best most authentic person to listen. There are no safe people, they always want something.
I would argue that you need to validate and hear yourself. It is an inside job, supported by choosing people well.
No, turning to others for validation is NOT the solution.
I'm utterly sick of liberals, in particular, thinking that the world must validate their delusions. It's that kind of attitude that is behind misogynistic policies that allow men to invade women's spaces and sports.
Validation is an inside-job. Thinking otherwise is utter insanity.
@@noonespecial4171witnesses matter and the safest most truthful source of such is a Counsellor or therapist that you interviewed before trusting to ensure you build the stage for deeper trust in an attachment relationship which is vital even with hired professionals. ❤
No it’s not a full inside job. We do need kind and compassionate others to be our witnesses.
I realised that feeling old anger and rage bubbling up is making me feel like a victim i.e. the feeling of powerlessness. This is, I believe, a big part why I resist, suppress anger. It’s a very fine line between feeling and acknowledging what has happened and not identifying with it. Would love for Irene to talk more about this nuance in more depth.
@anaisminto, Jen here from Irene's Team. I hear that you're having old anger and rage bubble up. Anger and rage are examples of what we call "healthy aggression" in this work. If we hold these feelings in, and don't express them, then it's not uncommon to shift into freeze and conservation physiology where feelings of powerlessness can be common.
In this nervous system approach, we learn to attend to more what's happening in the moment, in the physiology. When we have a difficult time being with an experience, learning more about what's happening can be helpful (this is in part why Irene emphasizes education). Sometimes too we need to learn to cultivate the capacity to be with what we are feeling, and to learn to be with the related feelings that may arise - fear, grief, shame, and more.
I'll link to some info about healthy aggression in case you want to learn more.
What is Healthy Aggression? - irenelyon.com/2019/08/19/what-is-healthy-aggression/
Health Aggression: The Way to Un-Frustrate Frustration - sethlyon.com/healthy-aggression-the-way-to-un-frustrate-frustration/
#2 realizing you’re actually a survivor and seeking to thrive is awesome Thrivers are resilient with clarity of perception for well living.
Irene’s course has been a game changer for me. This time last year I was experiencing high levels of anxiety and hyper vigilance. I use her practices in my daily life. I’m so very grateful to her.🙏🏻
Thank you! I’m in a similar position and I just started the course
This is such awesome advice. #6. Yes. Because I see this all the time with my own kids that I homeschool. If it doesn't get used right away the skill or idea vanishes.
Irene is amazing. I like her work. This is very helpful. Neat and clear.
Thank you, I'm remembering hearing growing up from both school and home " why can't you be like your sister" grr because I am me❤️🔥 my sister is a lovely girl who had rheumatoid arthritis since she was 14 years old I'm seeing how her wish to be agreeable has affected her health and truly I want to be ME it has taken me until my mid 50's to come to love and accept myself and my sensitivity for the gift it is ❤️🔥
Thank you, Irene* Regarding the 5th habit, I will add my experience* Adversities & traumas in life resulted in nervous system dysregulation & I developed chronic gut issue and that lead to lack of iron, and that lead to anemia* If I didn't took care of eating and taking supplements, it would become much worse, but in the long run for complete healing, somatic work is necessary and the foundation of all healing* Otherwise, I will be staying in loop of constant fear of what to eat and which new supplement to take, with never solving the issue, but just partially mitigating the consequences.
#7!!! I needed to hear that oi. I find I have an inner bully still in this area I need to work with. Perfectionism and toxic shame seems to feel behind this. Ty for this. I need to understand the toxic shame stuff more I think. It made sense how you described how it will cause me to avoid.
Hi Irene. I have complex PTSD and I have frequent flashbacks about the abuse and abject neglect that happened to me in early childhood. So sometimes I do still feel like a "victim". I I also know now that I dissociate 0ften. I have had a long struggle with alcohol addiction. I have a really good therapist now and she is careful to go very slowly with me.
I have been watching your videos for more than 3 years now and have learned such a lot. I am 69 years old and sometimes I feel like it's too late for me, that there isn't enough time left for me to heal.
It is so very difficult and very painful. I'm so sorry you went through such a frightening childhood. Just know that showing up to do the work is good enough. It doesn't matter if you're 69 or 99. It's not an outcome called "healed". It is an ongoing process and challenge and with this kind of healing work, slow is fast. I have D.I.D, a severe dissociative disorder from horrific, ongoing abuse growing up. We have flashbacks, nightmares and body memories every day but they are becoming less intense and less frightening as we keep showing up to do the work. We are growing in our inner compassion, acceptance, connection, kindness with each other. We are grateful to have survived long enough to find out the Truth of the world and ourselves. Is it really the evil, horrible world we were made to believe? Are we really the evil, horrible, unworthy, unlovable person who has no right to even take a breath of air or exist? We want to find out and we want to find out together so we have to keep making the choice to show up over and over and over again. It's a process.
@@annemurphy8074 Thank you so much for your reply. Your words mean a lot. Sometimes I get so tired. But I do keep showing up. I had a session with my therapist today.
@@christineewing3492 You're welcome. We understand, we still get really exhausted too. When trump won last Tuesday, we all thought death would be better, we were so tired of evil people not being held accountable, of "evil" seeming to win but then we quickly came out of that helpless, hopeless place. We decided to "show up" again. That's all we can do, keep making the choice over and over and over again, sometimes, many times a day. LOL We have learned that if we stay with the process, tiny, incremental changes happen and they add up to something measurable and no "evil" that is in the world can take that away. None of us can do this work alone. You have everything within you that you need, it just needs to be nurtured. Our therapist calls it "the wisdom of our system". We're sending you all the warmth, support and love that you always deserved but didn't receive through no fault of your own. It took us a long time to know, very gradually, our worth and feel the love within us so it may take a while for you too but that is ok. We're rooting for you!♥
@christineewing3492, it's understandable to feel like a victim at times when we've been through adversity and experienced a good deal of pain in our lives, and to dissociate as a way to get a break from these feelings. It's uplifting to hear that you've found a therapist who can understand the important of going slowly with you, and respecting your pace.
I hear that sometimes you wonder if it's too late, if there's enough time. Sometimes it can be important to name our fears and concerns, to be heard and received. And other times we might recognize the fear, grief, and other feelings associated with these thoughts, and take it as an opportunity to meet ourselves there with kindness and care.
It sounds like you're quite familiar with Irene's videos, and her heart meditation came to mind reading your comment so I'm sharing the link here - ua-cam.com/video/-p60UIgIe-I/v-deo.html
I am 65 and have been healing from trauma for a long time. It is my commitment to myself. Healing is a slow process, but it is the most important thing we can do imo.
Thank you Irene. There's videos of yours I've found challenging to hang with because the style of presentation can sometimes feel long winded and meandering. This is not one of those. Clarity of presentation is so important to effective get information across. This video nailed it. Thank you!
Many traumas are not even conscious, but you feel them in your body. I had parts split and dissociated, so I had to get conscious of those parts first. Otherwise you don't even know what you feel. My experience is that my inner healing, making stuff conscious and integration, heals my body. The way around compared to yout technique.
@MultiKoko73, It's great to hear that you found an approach that works for you. What you shared here can be common for people with a history that includes trauma. The nervous system approach that Irene teaches also invites people to come into contact with their felt experience in a gentle and titrated way.
This includes when we don't know what happened or what we feel (similar to what you shared). And some who are drawn to this work need to first learn to settle and find safety before turning attention internally. Responding here as it sounds like you may have a different understanding of what Irene teaches. Hope this helps to clarify. - Jen here from Irene's Team.
#6 for me. Doing SBSM now and slowly starting to integrate practices but taking time. Maybe i need sticky note reminders!
Very wonderful! Thank you, Irene!
Thank You, this was very helpful for me. I have not been able to identify these steps as clearly as you do here. You do such a good work!
Yay! I do all those things! 😊
Hello Irene 👋🏼 Thank you for the video and all that you do. Your work is gold and I have experienced its benefits before. Unfortunately I’m not in that place anymore:
In many other videos you mention titration and a few times you mentioned how doing this work in a ‘too much too soon’ way can have disastrous effects and that you had something similar to this in your own journey. Unfortunately I think I did way too much, too soon. I basically forced my body out of dorsal vagal shutdown into feeling more. Now I realise that the shutdown was a form of protection and I ruptured it. I strongly felt that I couldn’t move on with my life until I left the dorsal vagal shutdown state and so I pushed and pushed, did hours and hours of grounding, movement, orienting a day. Now I’ve been having some dissociation, a lot of overstimulation, a feeling of having -100 energy level, and shaking. I get scared because I’m confused at what my body is doing and it’s getting harder and harder to trust it. I feel like I don’t know my body anymore and the relationship with it is awful. I’m scared of getting worse, potentially being hospitalised because of overstimulation and complete burnout. I don’t know what to do. I’m unsure if my body will go into the dorsal vagal shutdown again or remain so stressed and with a capacity of -100. I’m concerned that even a tiny bit of orienting or grounding could be too much and not beneficial. Please could you advise on what to do after making the mistake of doing way too much, too soon and having a really confusing, ruptured relationship with the body? Or please could you make a video answering this? I would be so, so grateful. Thank you
@PH-xz3cq, Jen here from Irene's Team. I replied to your question where you posted it on the other video, and will paste my reply here too so it's in both places.
I hope that watching the video about focusing too much on body sensations (ua-cam.com/video/WdlapW-8h20/v-deo.html&lc=UgzxyQkbAzIIapmf3ON4AaABAg) gave you some ideas for how to support yourself through what you're going through. As this is an educational channel, I'm not able to provide personal guidance and I can offer you some general education for your consideration.
While it can be scary to start feeling much more when after we've been in freeze/conservation physiology for a long time, it can also be part of the process. If it feels like too much, a few things that may be supportive can include co-regulating (with nature, a pet, a safe person, music, etc.), turning towards things in life that feel at all settling or soothing, and practicing containment.
Know too that it can take time to settle when there is a lot of sympathetic nervous system (SNS) activation moving through the nervous system, and it can be important to remember that the steps we take to support ourselves matter, even when we don't notice anything changing in the moment. If it's an option, you might also consider consulting with a trained nervous system practitioner. I'll share a few links related to what I've shared here.
4 Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
DIY: Ancient Anxiety Medicine [a containment practice] - ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html
Four ways to spark up our social engagement nervous system without socializing. [coregulation] - irenelyon.com/2020/06/14/four-ways-to-spark-up-our-social-engagement-nervous-system-without-socializing/
Love this! Thanks, Irene!!
Great video again Irene. I'd love to hear you talk more about deserving to heal. Cultivating that. Thanks x
@themollsta, This video of Irene's came to mind when I saw your comment. It's not the same as what you asked about, and it might offer you some food for thought from the opposite perspective.
Trauma Tip #3 - Why everyone can heal, but not everyone will. - irenelyon.com/2018/10/19/why-everyone-can-heal-but-not-everyone-will/
- Jen here from Irene's Team.
I appreciate your work, but I find the title of this video misleading. I would call this maybe "guiding beliefs" or "guiding strategies", but not really habits. To me, habits are not the mindset but the things that I can actively DO on a regular basis, and I would have loved to hear about that.
Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤️
When will be the next spt level 1 training as I love to be a nervous system regulation practitioner
Great to hear about your interest in the Scientuitive Practitioner Training (SPT)! The first training is currently underway, and dates for the future training will be announced mid to late 2025.
If you'd like to get on the interest list, send an email to support@Irenelyon.com and they'll add you to the list. Completion of SmartBody SmartMind (smartbodysmartmind.com/) is a prerequisite for applying to the training, so if you're not an SBSM member I encourage you to check it out.
Irene,
I relate so much with your husband’s experience , specially around the limiting beliefs he had about money when you guys first met. Yet, there is one sentence he mentioned in a response to a question I had posted a few months ago, that has stuck with me since !
He mentioned the ability/need to “ Learn HOW to Learn “
Omg! Can you please talk about this. Can you chop it down in small bites for those of us neglected children that were taught absolutely NOTHING!!!
For example, I purchased your 21 days about a year ago. I started doing it, and as usual, it faded away from my reality.
How do I learn how to learn?
Thank you!
@bpassion4fashion581, great question! One key part of learning has to do with how we pay attention. Much of the practical side of Irene's work revolves around invitations to different ways to pay attention to oneself and one's present moment experience. The Feldenkrais Method more specifically has much to do with learning how to learn and neuroplasticity.
And, learning can involve change. For many of us with a history of trauma change can be scary. When this is the case, starting small and finding an accessible entry point can help. "Titration" is a term we use in this nervous system work to refer to exploring a little at a time.
I'll share a few related links where you can find out more. I also encourage you to come back to the 21 Day Tune Up and ask your questions on the course site. There are a few of us who answer questions in there can offer suggestions as to how to start.
Should we “correct” people? Feldenkraisian Learning & Neuroplastic Healing. - irenelyon.com/2024/11/03/should-we-correct/
Titration Epxlained: Never Rush Trauma Healing - irenelyon.com/2020/04/26/titration-explained-never-rush-trauma-healing/
There seems to be need to reframe the term victim mentality. It connotes a degree of self pity and not wanting to take action when it’s a state of being in active trauma.
Exactly… It’s not like it’s a conscious choice, because very often it is not.
Yeah I guess since I'm just now strong enough to walk through the nightmares (not even) I've recently become strong enough to remember... I guess I'm not ready for this lol should take a long vaca from this apparently 😅
I don't think I'm using a victim mentality, but im atill activly realizing and working through the fact i was a victim. That's going to take some time. Maybe im not ready for this 😅
Hi irene! 🎉❤ I need some reassurance that doing these small exercises is helping my nervous system to become regulated. Like how can humming whilst compressing your ear actually do anything.
Also im not sure if my system is dysregulated and i need the 21 days could you respond what the 21 days would do for someone who is not in fight flight or freeze. Much love ❤
I'm not an expert. But I've seen the figure "21 days", as the time that typically suffices for any changed routine to become a habit. Then the new actions seem to be almost automatic.
@rikki-leenichols9199, generally speaking practicing neurosensory exercises consistently, and eventually weaving them into daily life until they become habits, can be an important part of growing nervous system capacity and regulation. I'll link to a video about neurosensory exercises where you can learn more.
You asked about what the 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up course might do for someone who is not in fight or flight. Pretty much everyone can benefit from growing nervous system regulation and capacity, and most of us have some degree of held flight or fight in the system (though we may not know this).
Participating in the 21 Day course can many benefits! These vary by person and to name a few, we may feel more connected to ourselves, others.& the planet, strengthen the connection to our embodied experience, experience sounder sleep, healthy digestion, more ease, more awareness of life purpose, and more. Irene has a related video about the benefits of regulation that I'll share as well.
Neurosensory exercises (the practical side of my work) - irenelyon.com/2021/09/12/neurosensory-exercises-the-practical-side-of-my-work/
9 Key Benefits We Experience When Our Nervous System Is Regulated - irenelyon.com/2018/09/30/9-benefits-nervoussystem-regulated/
- Jen from Team Lyon
I need to do this I am spiritual bypassing
These are not habits. Most people arent consciously choosing to identify as a victim, its a symptom of the trauma and not a mindset choice
Right! That’s why this video wasn’t helpful to me, but leaves me with the same feeling I know all too well, i.e. ‘look at him or her, they are doing much better than you, because……. (fill in the dots). It’s a subtle form of shaming actually. I believe each person one day individually reaches that point of ‘NOW I’ve REALLY had ENOUGH of being a victim!’ This is what induces their true healing. Not the subtle type of shaming that apparently keeps going around and around in all layers of humanity…
cna this work for derealization and depersonalization
@poixone, yes, it often does help with depersonalization and derealization (DP/DR). From a nervous system perspective, DP/DP are symptoms of the freeze response. Irene has a related video, I'll share a link in case you want to check it out. - Jen from Team Lyon
What causes dissociation and what it takes to heal - ua-cam.com/video/-PMeMxO8yz8/v-deo.html
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌼💛
Something... I'm thinking .. what did you guys start?.
@groundedunorthodoxy8000, I'm not sure what you're asking here about what they started? - Jen from Team Lyon
But Irene, how are people supposed to “start right away” when you don’t allow people to sign up for your program for several months and only allow sign up on one pre determined date? This sounds like sales and marketing gimmick to build up hype. Unfortunately I could not wait and in trying alternatives it made things considerably worse, set me back much further, and now I’m not working as a result. Certain sales and marketing tactics do not belong in this line of work.
This is so insensitive to people who need this help!
@rachelrose9856, Jen here from Irene's Team. I'm sorry to hear that you explored other alternatives that set you back further. You definitely don't have to wait for SBSM to get started, and it sounds like this wasn't clear.
You can start with this work anytime through Irene's free resources or her 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up course (SmartBody SmartMInd is the only program that has a waitlist as it runs "live" twice a year).
I'll share links to info about the 21 Day NS Tune Up course and some info about working with free resources if you'd like to check them out.
21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com/
4 Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
Learn to release your trauma safely (using free resources alone). Marina's story - ua-cam.com/video/Y0GQTTD5EP8/v-deo.html