I'm sorry you had to suffer through this shite, just for our amusement. And at the same time, I'm glad you did, these videos are going to be excellent! Pouring a glass of bourbon to toast your sacrifice!
This was never planned there was no plan. Emperor had a mistress and had a kid and their kid had Rey when the fuck did this happen absolute bullshit. The sequels are not canon
so you telling me.. That anakin became Vader to save padme by learning how to bring people back to life, and Rey has mastered this skill without even knowing it exists? was it that easy? Damn Disney
She did steal the sacred Jedi texts, so her knowing this skill isn't the worst idea in the world. Too bad that defense is utterly ruined by the fact Ben Solo whips the ability out of nowhere. Thanks, Disney.
@@iloathepeoplewhorestilltal2774 force healing did exist in legends I'm pretty sure, but the disney version is absolute and utter bulshit, everything about it deletes the point of the OT and PT, because somehow rey can heal a fatal lightsaber wound, and kylo can bring her back to life without any training
This movie felt like a fever dream. The story telling and pacing reminded me of when a kid tells you a story and keeps saying "And then, And then, And then"
And if you can ever say "and then" in-between your scenes, they are shit. It should always be "As a result" or something similar to tie it to the consequences of the previous scene. Not in JJ land! The only good JJ was Jameson
It's dragon ball z in space, the escalation is all over the place. That moment when the emperor shot a bolt of lightning to the sky, I laughed hard. Rey and kylo are like goku and vegeta, they fused their powers and got more stronger than a God. Rey crossing the lightsabers, lol The writer from batman v superman just surpassed his masterpiece!
Can't help but think in my own headcanon that it was actually Han Solo who stuck Kylo Ren's lightsaber through his gut at the end of The Force Awakens. He glimpsed past the 4th Wall and saw the direction everything was headed and was like 'Fuck it, I'm out!' Doesn't make any less sense than the two movies that would follow.
Star Wars Cannon Lore: Korriban is the Sith Homeworld Star Wars Legends Lore: Korriban is the Sith Homeworld The Rise Of Skywalker: The Sith Homeworld is a planet you've never hear of before and that doesn't even appear in any previous media about Star Wars.
Bearing in mind how far from accurate the Hercules movie is to its own source material too, and compared to whatever the heck is this excuse for a Star Wars movie...yeeeeeeesh Edit: I still can't believe that the lady who greenlit and re-edited what this trash is now is supposed to be *the same lady whose production company brought us the Bourne Trilogy* Oh what a fall from grace this is.
Ann Look at it this way, there was probably a bunch of more qualified/talented people who took the reigns of that trilogy. I highly doubt she was heavily involved in the creative processes of the successful films she’s been apart of. (And that includes all the films where she first found work, under George and Spielburg.)
@@SteveSmith-ty8ko I agree completely! I'm simply disappointed at the regression of quality in the projects she has, at the very least, touched upon. And be that as it may, she may consider the trilogy to be another trophy in her collection simply due to her name being attached to it (and thankfully having little influence, if her more recent track record is anything to go off of), and that I find that to be a very low blow if it is true.
@@Ann-kv3yb Hence why *everyone* in Greece despises this movie (probably includes the actors behind Greek dub who probably did it because they were contractually and governmentally obliged to) A live-action remake of Disney's Hercules would probably be the most hated thing in Greece
@@herheartbeats5727 kinda like how after Rey healed the giant worm thing it moved away from them and just so happened to knock down some rocks creating an opening for them to leave. I wonder what that reminds me of.... Totally none of the diablo games or anything.
@@Sidious66 Hehe right...all the thing reeks of childishly plotted quests in order to come to the predictable end. . And of course, no use/non-use, of Rey's powers will have irreversibly bad consequences.
Ja Ja: Maybe Palpatine WANTED her to find it. But why would Palpatine make the dagger in Sith-language, if he WANTED Rey to find him? And why just make it a "treasure map" to ANOTHER treasure-finder?
Luke: I can't seem to find that dagger, we've been looking everywhere for it. Lando: Let's keep looking and see where it is. Luke: I think we should give up and let someone else find it. Lando: Good idea Seriously Disney
I was 12 in 1977. The impact of Star Wars at the time was amazing. It was everywhere, everyone was talking about it. Luke Skywalker was who I and my friends wanted to be. What they did with the new films seemed like an attack on those memories.
I was only born in 79 but star wars was still everything and everywhere. I watched new hope until the tape was worn out and the audio sounded all warped. What Disney did is an attack. Tear down the old so they can insert their "new" when the new has no soul.
its a planned attack. They want to destroy all our heros, because all male are toxic. Dont accept this bullshit. It is not Star Wars. Just delete it from your thoughts.
I was born in 2003 ROTS was my first introduction to SW and I've loved episode 3 since. After I've saw every movie and my regret was watching the Disney ones cause it just makes me upset how they ruined the magic in that galaxy far, far away.
Just pretend they don't exist, and you will be fine. For example, the Terminator Franchise ended with T2, and the Aliens franchise ended with "Aliens". The last canonical ST TV show was DS9. Star Wars ended with 1983's "Return of the Jedi" and Indiana Jones with the marriage of Indy with Marion Ravenwood with their son "Mutt" in attendance. Dr. Who ended when Ace and the 7th Doctor wandered off into the sunset in search of tea. This is exercising your power as consumer not to consume tainted product and preserving your precious memories.
Luke had to go to a dark swamp planet to master his jedi training. Rey just basically closed her eyes, went all "I know kung fu" on the force and suddenly knows every jedi trick in the book. Yeah...this was bad.
It's funny that they TRIED to fix one of the biggest criticism's of her character, which was that she never really trained at all. But they already made her so overpowered that by the time this movie comes around you're like, "Wait, SHE TRAINS NOW? Why?"
@@logicaldude3611 Exactly ! First she knows everything, and it's a mystery why she's so strong, it is hinted her parents might have something to do with it. Then the second director guy says :" Screw that, the Force is female !" Then we find out she was genetically engineered by Palpatine, that's why she is ...aaand she's training now.
alatriste2222 only it’s not even fan fiction , it’s people who aren’t even fans writing the fiction. and Disney as s whole especially regarding Kathleen Kennedy is just following their left fem Nazi wing agenda
Yep. Which is Y I always thought it was a bad idea 2 make more star wars movies. I was NOT excited 4 these movies 4 this exact reason. I was excited 4 the prequels & we c how that turned out.but at least that was Georges we work it had some good stuff in it.but it still was disappointing so I knew better than 2 expect these 2 b any good.
@@lovelydovy660 just a little off-topic. you know, these "''4"s and "'c"s are probably faster to write than the whole words, but they certainly take more time to process for the reader than the normal words. and I think the purpose of posting a comment is for someone to read it, not to write a comment faster
@@fictiontheorizer1991 I actually didn't mind the second trilogy - yes, it was a different flavor than the first and while I didn't care for the parasites being the reason you have the force, it was otherwise enjoyable and "close enough" in feel and flavor to the original. But this third trilogy was hands down the Chinese knock off version and a bad Chinese knockoff at that - we're talking paint flaking off and damaged pieces right out of the box and just getting worse from there.
Chewie's death could have been quite impactful. Rey could have had some significant character development, facing the fact that her undisciplined emotions brought her to the dark side and led to her killing him. A humbling failure that sets the hero back, yet also plants the seeds for growth. But Chewbacca figures are one of the few Star Wars toys that actually sell, so Disney couldn't have that.
Yup. Actually the Sith already have 3 major planets. Korriban/Moraband, Malachor, Dromund Kaas. Yet this shithole of a trilogy doesn't even mention them.
Think about this - Anakin's entire fall to the dark side was because of his inability to stop his loved ones from dying. As he said, he could do nothing to save his mother in episode 2. Then he had visions of Padme's death in Episode 3, thus his obsession to save her grew so much that he turned to the dark side to try to learn how to save her. THE ENTIRE PREQUELS AND ANAKIN'S TRAGIC STORY WAS BECAUSE HE COULDN'T SAVE THE ONES HE LOVED FROM DYING! In Rise of Skywalker, Rey saves Ben from dying by touching him and then Ben just resurrects Rey from death by lightly touching her stomach for 5 seconds... FU*K DISNEY STAR WARS.
Omg I didn’t think about that. Heck not even Palpatine knew that secret since he told Anakin they will discover it together. How the hell did Mary Sue find that secret?
In Legends, the Unknown Regions are unknown because of the difficulties of exploration. Scout ships have to find reliable hyperspace routes, and then they have to update the starcharts. And that's if they get back to known space in one piece. Simply put, Legends has a good reason to call them the Unknown Regions. Disney just thought the name sounded nice and dramatically imposing. *tosses back a shot* Fuck off, Disney!
And from memory there were even attempts to establish outposts and colonies in the unknown regions, but simply the difficulty getting there and the hostility of the surroundings meant that they weren’t viable.
I've seen that somewhere before... where was it???.... ua-cam.com/video/iAMaNv4hYY4/v-deo.html Ah yes, there it is... and SO much better... :) OL J R :)
Not only that but how could a planet with such terrifyingly unstable and extreme thermal, gravitational and electromagnetical conditions just hold water on it's 3 possible phases ? Seriously ???? EVEN on a real-life planet like Mars, which is so close to Earth in physical conditions, we know that water will be very hard to find on some phases. Plus, not even a point for the story, because in fact, having covered the Exogul(gol ?) planet just with rocks just would have changed nothing (after all if you can hide super-destroyers the side of an European country under sea, cannot you just hide them under rocks ?).
Basically Disney took the Star Wars franchise to essentially create a princess in the galaxy. Who is the descendant of Emperor Palpatine and taken everything away from the Skywalkers. Rey makes it through the long divorce court settlement and gets full custody
Precisely. Now we just wait for the series of animated musicals featuring Princess Mary Sue of the Galaxy defeating a whole list of men in brave and stunning ways.
@Glen tennis Well said. Disney's trilogy feels like it was made by someone who saw the ads for Star Wars, saw all the pop culture and references, but never saw the movies themselves. Then tried to make a new Star Wars based on second hand info alone. It has all the iconic imagery, but everything just works wrong.
To be fair: she followed his lead. It's a bit like Obama ordering Osama ibn Ladin killed after all the years the rest of the world pursued him, running him down and taking his resources; and the Liberals all praising Obama for the last 5% of work.
Hey, stop getting your panties in a twist. It's voiding you of critical thinking. Since Rian fucked up the second movie, JJ tried his best at damage control.
Spoilers, if anyone still cares. But nobody watching this does. Disney: “See? We fixed Rey. She’s OP because of her lineage. And she loses a fight!” Fans: “You ‘fixed’ a Mary Sue by making her a princess and heir apparent to the entire galaxy, but she’s so good and perfect that she turns it down? And then having her come back from the dead, to become the dubious heir to the Skywalker legacy, with no one else left to share the glory, and all their force ghosts telling her how great she is? Effectively making all nine films all about her?” Disney: “Uhh... hey, look, there’s Baby Yoda!” (runs away)
I hope the new trilogy is about a gay, black, transgender mermaid who is more good and powerful than Rey. This cis-binary white supremacist mindset in the original 9 movies is so bigotted. It would be great if the supreme being in the galaxy would exhibit more diversity.
Don't worry I did the drinking challenge. And fuck me it's just autocotrect fixing my shit at this point got I had to pause so I can keep up with the drinking because the fuck ups are just back to fucking back
_"This movie is a walking shadow. A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"_ That William Shatner was one smart dude.
At first I thought you said, “tri-fighters,” and I thought they had advanced droid brains, and realized you meant “TIE”. The First Orders’s TIE’s were are vastly improved versions of the original TIEs, but you have to have some logic, you would not be able to stuff a hyperdrive in that small frame. Which is one reason Vader’s was bigger.
@@Soundwave142 I mean, You can add a hyperdrive in a small frame. X-Wings have them too, after all. That said, Tie Fighters were never supposed to have them. They are designed as short-range interceptors, unlike the X-Wing. Just saying "First Order Tie's are more advanced and now have hyperdrive" is just... as unimaginitive as the rest of the trilogy. It would fit right in, honestly.
Jj Abrams, the guy that made a star wars movie titled “The Rise of Skywalker” then proceeded to kill off the only remaining Skywalker (by blood) and make a palpatine steal the name.
Because jj Abrams doesnt bother to do any fucking research and just makes shit up. He is one of the worst directors that has ever lived. He has zero vision in any of his movies and is a complete sell out.
Because anything that was created by Lucas or is a part of the expanded EU means that Disney has to pay royalties. That's the real reason they threw out the old canon. It's why C3P0 had a red arm in the first movie and the falcon looked slightly different. These weren't creative changes but financial ones. It's why we have tons of planets being introduced that are functionally the same as the originals but have different names and have been subtlety changed. It's always been about money. The wokeness is just an excuse for Disney to screw Lucas out of as much money as possible. It's also why they threw out everything he suggested, because he'd have to get paid for all of his ideas. It's why every director and writer got rotated out; everything they suggested was too close to Lucas-era stuff. Wokeness is just a political excuse for Disney being greedy fucks; and it creates an environment where those who bitch about the changes get lambasted by the media, keeping Disney's little secret under wraps. They never cared about the franchise or maintaining its integrity, because integrity would have cost them millions.
@@PenTheMighty The odd thing tho is that through SWTCW, Korriban has been officially been made into cannon by the name of Moriban, and oddly enough Darth Bane as well. In other words, Disney is forgetting about their own cannon!
“Take a drink every time I mention some sort of contrivance or plot hole in this movie” Me: gets alcohol poisoning and dies in a dumpster within the opening crawl.
If Disney had any sense, they should have scrapped the live-action sequel trilogy after discount A New Hope and instead used the excellent staff of The Clone Wars to create an extensive animated TV and film series out of the Extended Universe.
Wait, so Palpatine had Snoke create a planet-sized super weapon... to hide the fact that he was building a big fleet of ships? HOW COULD HE AFFORD ANY OF THIS? I feel like Palpatine's true power was just that he had... all the money, literally ALL the money in the galaxy.
Not to mention that building the starships underwater on a planet would be...impossible? Yeah I'll go with impossible. It'd make more sense if they were hidden in an asteroid field or somesuch. They could've had them even realize "The asteroids, they're all hollow?" Because they hollowed them out for resources. Kerblooby.
where did they get the crews for all the star destroyers if the Sith planet is supposed to be in some secret place. Literally thousands of people would have had to make journeys there - without wayfinders!
@@garethoneill5676 that was my biggest problem as well. I mean did the entire First Order magically appear? Were they just manned with a skeleton navigation crew? Who knows.
I was so angry when I heard that. Fuming, even. These movies already broke their own canon and now they're just breaking it further. Korriban was in The Clone Wars, although for some stupid reason they called it Moraband. Regardless, it was the same planet. These movies are just jokes. Thank god The Old Republic is still up and giving us good Star Wars stories. It's our only hope. Literally.
FYI, force healing has been around for a long time too but its supposed to be incredibly rare AND extremely difficult...so of course Rey can just do it now.
@@sandraday6955 Kotor has it as a light side ability. I'd say the Sith equivalent of that ability is to move life from one thing to another. (sith can swap bodies so, i'd say a dark version of force heal is very possible.)
@@forsakenvipoerx9077 pretty sure the sith equivalent of force heal was force drain but it was never shown draining ones own life to heal someone else. Like a sith would ever do something like that.
@@forsakenvipoerx9077 Still would've required great study/practice. Not "Hey it's my first time performing any kind of surgery but lets try and replace this guys heart before he passes."
I have a solution to Disney's problem, they should just shoot a buttload of scenes and then release them all to the public to edit together at their will.
@@pantherapardus1398 actually, Kaas was only the capitol of the Sith Empire. Korriban was the first planet the Dark Jedi came upon after being banished into unknown space after the second schism within the Je'daii order. Korribans native population was a species called the Sith, who were very strong in the force. The Dark Jedi subjugated the planet and mixed/interbred with the Sith species, and eventually took the name 'Sith' to replace 'Je'daii/Dark Jedi'. With the constant wars with the Old Republic as well as infighting between the Sith Lords (well before the rule of two) the planet became barren and was then used as their tomb world.
@@pantherapardus1398 Korriban is where the Sith originated, but once the Dark Side turned it into a wasteland, most of them moved to Ziost, leaving Korriban as a tomb world. As for Dromund Kaas, that became the Sith homeworld after Emperor Vitiate rebuilt the Sith Empire after the Great Hyperspace War.
Due to the drinking challenge you proposed at the beginning of the video, I had to split my viewing of this video into three sessions spread across three weekends. My friends weren’t impressed with me getting shitfaced three weeks in a row and drunk dialing all of them countless times, but it was worth it for the review! Well, the parts of it that I remember, at least.
what's funny is that this is literally 100% true. When JJ Abrams was hired to rewrite Colin Treverrow's script he literally made a bucket list of 'things he wanted to see in the last star wars movie' and then tried to build a narrative around random bullshit
Yeah the perfect example of this is 10,000 star destroyers rising from beneath the ground: Audience: "Does it make sense?" Jar Jar Abrams: "No but it looks cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That's why all these reboots and sequels make no sense, their writing philosophy is "Screw the logic, if it looks cool just put it in there".
I mean Damage Control from TLJ, only 1 movie, to be fair I understand why the movie is so messy, I don't agree with alot of the film though. Somehow the Prequels were completely redeemed.
yep, the good guys steal "old" hover speeders, and for some reason the police are using newer ground-based ... snowmobiles ? even though they can jet-fly faster than the snowmobiles ?
The better parts of the movie were those where Rey was not present. Also, when she was trying to reach the wreck of the Death Star I was expecting her to part the seas like Moses. So disappointed she didn't.
@@blatherama true, but at this point I just take as a given that she won't have trouble doing anything ever. Except hitting the training ball at the start, which seems to be a more dangerous opponent than kylo ever was.
C-3PO's programing won't allow him to read the Sith dagger. Critical Drinker: What is this thing, the Ring of Sauron or something Me: No, the Ring of Sauron was useful.
Also makes no sense that reading sith code is illegal or whatever. The law has to date back to the age of the old jedi, since the new republic wouldnt have any laws like that. And neither would the empire, which would undo that law probably. And 3po was made on tatooine, a planet where republic law doesnt apply
Before Disney got there hands on it they actually “flew now” roughly 3500 years ago because the the mandalorians during the old republic even had jet pack technology
Disney as a company was never good or benevolent as far as I can tell. Though, certainly even moreso sterile and bland and corrupt in recent decades. What you should love are the incredible works of art its creative teams produced when given good direction, oftentimes in spite of whatever politics are going on in the higher circles. It helps to separate one from the other.
I pretty much only care for their animated content from Snow White to most of the stuff up to Tangled. But the company in itself represents the absolute worst of evil super power corporations. Old Walt would be spinning in his damn grave.
Original Trilogy - Beautiful, masterful, unique story telling based on past movie tropes Prequel Trilogy - A decent, dark, origin story to how the originals came to be Sequel Trilogy - kid friendly garbage with absolutely no substance and no care for past characters I really hope Disney learns from this mistake and avoids it in case they decide to do another trilogy, which I know they will because $$$.
Except what you describe the prequels to be is basically only what Revenge of the Sith was, because The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones sucked and are basically just kids’ movies now.
@@MigIgg I've always had love for the Phantom Menace; almost a closeted lover of it back when it was cool to hate on the prequels. AOTC I understand the criticisms but still find it enjoyable overall.
@@thefilmwatcher1302 they’re dark, they have a stringent plot, and are decent overall for prequels Could they have not been so... eye-rolling at times, yes But at least it made sense, And that scene in Attack of the Clones where Palpatine stands watching all the clones and Star Destroyers rise, with the Empire’s theme, Is glorious, Also loved the slow exploration of more of the galaxy, even if nowadays it seems everyone dislikes that, Phantom Menace had some questionable stuff, but was a great introduction to the world, with some interesting worldbuilding You get from those two a massive amount of information, Slave trading, Podracing, So many species, the Sith, the Jedi Cloning, So many new worlds (even if nowadays no one likes stuff that isn’t relevant or could be cut out, like Dexters diner, but that’s just people not waiting for a buildup with less patience, I think) Political issues and exploration They’re possibly some of the best stories ever told in movie/book history Revenge of the Sith is more memorable, but overall, had less in comparison, It’s only got a few brief shots of worlds, a space battle, But the Personal conflict of Anakin, is so wonderful, the consequences memorable, It’s also got the aftermath like Jedi Temple and Wookieland, but it’s nothing compared to the ending finale, quite possibly one of the greatest fights, up there All three are objectively superior to the originals Even if the dialogue is a bit clunky to hear and watch, it’s quite realistic (which is also partly why it’s clunky) The sequels have more than the originals, but none of it is worth anything, so it’s why they’re worse The new Sequals that they’re making? Bad, the world’s completely broken, nothing can be done to fix it without stupidity being clearly visible
@@glauberglousger6643 First, not to be pedantic, but this always annoys me. It’s “sequels”, not “sequals”. Just to get that out of the way. Second, what makes the prequels lackluster is the presentation. The worldbuilding and story is amazing; the buildup to the original trilogy status quo is great. (Most of) The characters are really cool, and Anakin was a really good protagonist played by a talented actor. The presentation is awful tho; the dialogue isn’t just flat; it’s wooden and lifeless, making the characters feel dry with their dry deliveries. There’s no energy or special tinge to the dialogue; it’s just flat out telling you what’s going to happen in the plot before it happens. The pacing is also kind of bad. The first Star Wars movie-not calling it A New Hope-accomplished in getting more known to the audience about the story and the world in 20 minutes than Phantom Menace did in an hour. And Phantom Menace is the better of the first two prequels; Attack of the Clones has a lot more examples of the awkward wooden/stilted dialogue. Worldbuilding is good, but you at least need a sense of progression if your movie is as flatly presented as Phantom Menace. Which, unlike AOTC, I don’t even think is a bad movie. It’s mid; it’s perfectly mid. Third, realism is not an excuse for clunky dialogue. Of course, even good dialogue that is very obviously overly scripted and rehearsed can also be a chore to watch (i.e. Dragon Ball Kai, the “manga-accurate” redub of Dragon Ball Z), but the prequels’ dialogue isn’t that good until Revenge of the Sith, which fixed basically all of the problems of the other two. If the dialogue is flatly delivered and/or makes the film boring and uninteresting to watch, it’s clunky. You can’t just excuse the clunky dialogue as realistic when you need good dialogue to keep people invested in the story you’re trying to tell. Fourth, I’ve never called Revenge of the Sith a bad movie. To me, it’s always been fantastic. Fifth, yeah, the sequels’ worldbuilding sucks in TFA. Just copies of planets from the prequels and originals that we never get any further insight into. The other two movies in the sequel trilogy at least had some interesting ideas for planets and let us see them on a deeper level.
The half explained reason for Palpatine being back is cloning : "Dark secrets only the Sith knew about". i guess the entire prequels aren't canon anymore
@@jeremyallen492 I'm speachless. It was so obvious it'd backfire. Plus, it's literally doing bad world building, aka doing a bad science fiction movie. Just to avoid being linked to the prequels.
@@Goroganos guess it was easier for them to take Capcom's "who gives a shit!" approach to the story than it was for them to can the sequel trilogy entirely after Last Jedi torpedoed Farce Awaken's flimsy narrative and start from scratch with people who actually knew what the hell they're doing. Would've taken longer but it'd have been preferable to the lowest common denominator storyline we got as closure to the forty years of storytelling and world building the Skywalker saga has under its belt
Stood in line as a kid, waiting in the rain to get a ticket to the first Star Wars movie. The next batch of movie chapters built upon it very well. I even enjoyed the Rogue One & Solo branches. Nothing is perfect (yes Jar Jar was dam irritating, however he made me laugh. He was 'that guy' somebody always brings to the party to love or hate) but they still added to a great story with expected continuity. Then came the final 2 shows that not only shit every bed that Hilton has to offer, but did it despite the fact they actually had to go out of their way to sewer the once traditional storyline and spit on every character that had earned their time tested golden right to stand tall and not be simply displaced by a new wave of magically entitled upstarts. Those new actors should really be embarrassed. Can't wait to see them pushed out of their own much dimmer spotlight and enjoy feeling ripped off by the babies of their future. A couple of 'Spaceballs' sequels would have fit better. But JJ wouldn't know much about 'balls' ...
I can relate to that. I was 8 years old when it came out. People who waiting in line with me, were People who actually just got out of the theater and wanted to see it for the second or third time. Not all but alot of them. People went crazy with that movie. When ESB came out, it was even worse and the cinema were I was living at the time had a special run when you could see ANH and ESB for the same price, shortly after the second came out, maybe 3 or 4 weeks after. There was People who waited for that special projection. RoJ was the same thing. It was an amazing time for movies, then terminator and robocop came out, the goonies.. and they did little publicity except for the posters, so imagine something as creative and original come out today, with all the social media and people who would talk about them movies. People would need to wait for DAYS on the opening night and few weeks later. I wish the younger People could experience something like this, not with only one movie but exactly what we had, 6 or 7years straight of amazing movies like we had the chance to see when they came out.
I’ve just watched this, Googled how palpatine is actually back. And read 3 long ass explanations doing plot acrobatics to explain why he’s even in the story. If fans have to try that hard to explain one plot point I think that sums up this new mess of a trilogy.
I dunno, Capcom's gotten by on writing drunken ad libs for pretty much their entire existence and people practically trip over themselves to shower money on pretty much anything THEY create. It's all about appealing to the lowest common denominator
@@KaizerSozaye it's the irony of the matter, genius. People trash (franchise A) for screwing their storyline and then turn around and praise (franchise B) despite pulling the exact same shit as (franchise A) did
How is it possible that 30 minutes of "The Mandalorian" are more interesting and fun than almost 8 hours of the sequel trilogy??? I don't know what Kathleen Kennedy thinks but under normal circumstances she must hate the success of "The Mandalorian"! But i think she would never admit that in public! George Lucas was a couple of times on the set of The Mandalorian! So he seems to care and like the show! Jon Favreau admitted that he took a lot of George Lucas' ideas and used them in "The Mandalorian"! I bet KK was pissed about that...!
Doubt KK has no say whats going on with the Mandalorian otherwise we will be getting a majority of woke episodes. Which is also why the woke are pissed off with the lack of gender politics in it as theyve been crying for lack of women roles and mando isnt a women
Could not disagree more. Mandalorian is really good but at the end of the day it is a TV show and therefore I cannot be as good as these films because TV shows just aren’t nearly as grand in scale and we need grand scale.
The sequel trilogy violated the core tenants of good storytelling. Not only did they need an outline drawn up of all the integral plot points of every installment with clear definable purposes of all principle characters, but they had to know what happened to the core original trilogy characters in the 30 years between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens, so when you introduce them back into the story once you properly introduce all the principal new characters first of course, you show how much they changed to such a drastic degree that the moviegoer wonders:"what the fuck happened to you since last I saw you!" Not only that, you have the story take place in once familiar locales, such as Coruscant or Kasykk (I know I'm spelling that wrong, it's the Wookie homeworld) and show it in a drastic new light. You want to leave the audience wondering the how and why and create tension, while slowly filling in the blank spaces. These films did none of this, in favor of nostalgia in place of good storytelling and allowing organic and believable progression without repeating the same shit over and over again.
The Rise of Skywalker made me strengthen my bond and love for the prequels and original trilogy. Everything about this epic 'finale' is like a cruel, drawn out torture for everyone involved and everyone watching.
Why are the First Order using motorbikes, when hoverbikes are standard military issue? Seriously the only other wheeled vehicle in Star Wars is the Juggernaut tank in ep3. That would be so archaic in universe, where repulsorlift technology has been around for thousands of years. That would be like the U.S. Army Rangers riding a horse drawn chariot into battle.
Riding a horse you say...? It would be as ridicolous as riding horses on a star destroyer to attack them.... wait... it happened in this piece of shit... fock off film...
JJ got the idea from Star Trek Nemesis where Captain Picard drives a dune buggy. JJ thought, "Hey that's a great idea! I'll steal it." (Yes I know it's a stupid idea.)
@@jasonezekiel3250 There was a line "Jam their speeders!" followed by "They're not using speeders!" *que horses* Umm, WHEN have they been able to jam speeder bikes? We've never seen that before. Not on Endor, Passana, Crait, or anywhere else where stopping speeders would have been useful. They just pull this plot-point out of their ass to justify the horses.
I always found it funny how Palpatine told Kylo to “kill the girl” constantly in the beginning and middle and at the end he was like “I needed you alive and to come here all along”. Ughhh!!!
Can we all just agree that the sequel trilogy should not be considered canon simply due to how stupid they are and how they undermine the plot of Anakin
@DejaVoodooDoll . . . Did your mother drop you on your head repeatedly as a child?? Oh my aching head. Are you one of those Tofu Klones whose head goes nuclear whenever someone mentions the sacrilege of disgusting, perverted things like CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT? Come to think of it, have you ever watched the original trilogy NOT shitfaced? I hear you get a lot more from it when you're not projectile vomiting and hungover . . .
"They fly now?" Says C3P0 who saw Clone troopers, Storm troopers and Storm troopers series X fly. Says Poe who saw Storm troopers series X fly. Says Finn who was a Storm trooper series X.
This film honestly felt really rushed and desperate. Abrams even said that the negative reviews for this film were right. He knew what he was making sucked. Edit: typed "an" instead of "and", this has been corrected now.
Ah, just read it. Honestly not a very satisfying read. He was like “the critics are right, the fans are right, you can’t please everyone” despite deliberately trying to please people who hated TLJ. What a copout
1:41 I recently found out that Carey Fisher was absolutely coked up whilst filming the SWHS. She had to snort her way out of her trailer every morning through a solid wall of pure Colombian snow just to make it through the day. In some scenes you can tell she's out of her mind and glassy eyed, which is hilarious. So was Mark Hamel but he'd not long recovered from a major car accident.
Don't do that man We have episodes I - VI to watch again and lov Don't start doing alcohol because of bad movies made by people who don't understand Star Wars. I too have a no alcohol rule, I vowed to never drink in my life. Don't break you rule because of Disney. Be strong with the force.
Just can’t believe this whole trilogy occurred over the course of like a year since the first 2 movies were literally back to back occurring over the course of a weekend basically
MAV4ICK He ‘trained’ her. He didn’t train her. At least with Yoda and Luke’s training we saw a little bit of the strain and we witnessed his progress but with Rey it just feels like Luke is showing her like one or two things and that’s it. We don’t see her doing front flips or carrying packs on her back. The most we get in terms of seeing her ‘train,’ is when she was swinging her lightsaber at that rock.
This entire trilogy is smothered with men hate. Look at the scene w Purple hair telling off the pilot guy. That was there purely as a fk you to men. Leia with her stupid strategy in commanding the rebels. Same w the girl jedi. She's better and more powerful than all then men. Even at sailing, even at flying a ship. I'm all for empowering women don't get me wrong, is just when the pendulum swings so far the other direction it's impossible to unsee it in film/tv
Disney should give the filmmakers a budget of $50 million and tell them to make the next movie. That will force the director to concentrate on the story instead of the special effects.
No offence these packaged vfx look like shit compared to the 1990's. The digital cameras used during the CGI sequences show impossible angles and heights which ruins the illusion.
@@Idazmi7 It's in the movie you nab. She's not a Jedi, she doesn't follow the code. She's not a a sith, not following the sith code. Literally buries jedi lightsabers and pulls a yellow lightsaber (known in cannon for grey jedi aka we use the force not light or dark side).
@@JOhnDoe-nl4wj _"It's in the movie you nab. She's not a Jedi, she doesn't follow the code. She's not a a sith, not following the sith code. Literally buries jedi lightsabers and pulls a yellow lightsaber (known in cannon for grey jedi aka we use the force not light or dark side)."_ Don't you mean *_purple?_* Like Mace Windu's? That, and the movie never says she's using the Dark Side and directly treats her as a Jedi... because the writers are dumb.
The best way I could describe this plot: "pinball machine". Bouncing around from one thing to the other, not really accomplishing anything, but making a shit-ton of noise and flashiness along the way
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“The only thing worse than a horrible film,
is a film who thinks itself wise”
~ The Critical Drinker, Probably
Now go away!
Shite definitely Shite, wahaha perfect!
Ah yes, i smell sh*te. 🤣😂🤣👍🏻
What if we just sent you a bottle of Patron?
I'm sorry you had to suffer through this shite, just for our amusement.
And at the same time, I'm glad you did, these videos are going to be excellent! Pouring a glass of bourbon to toast your sacrifice!
So the Skywalker saga is actually the Palpatine saga and Palpatine takes over the Skywalker name and all the real Skywalkers are dead. Thanks Disney.
This was never planned there was no plan. Emperor had a mistress and had a kid and their kid had Rey when the fuck did this happen absolute bullshit. The sequels are not canon
Evil won. Sounds like Disney had that plan all along. It's pure nihilism.
@DejaVoodooDoll shoo shoo, go away, this is a movie review video
@DejaVoodooDoll Oh, great, socialist trying to come off as morally superior. Fuck off, you commie.
@DejaVoodooDoll seriously. This whole statement is a turd sandwich
so you telling me..
That anakin became Vader to save padme by learning how to bring people back to life, and Rey has mastered this skill without even knowing it exists? was it that easy?
Damn Disney
Bean Lord because it never fucking existed, they made baby Yoda do it first to validate Rey doing it, idek anymore, it’s all inconsequential.
Well, I guess Vader was born into the wrong gender.
She did steal the sacred Jedi texts, so her knowing this skill isn't the worst idea in the world.
Too bad that defense is utterly ruined by the fact Ben Solo whips the ability out of nowhere. Thanks, Disney.
Now all the past Sith and Jedi look like morons.
@@iloathepeoplewhorestilltal2774 force healing did exist in legends I'm pretty sure, but the disney version is absolute and utter bulshit, everything about it deletes the point of the OT and PT, because somehow rey can heal a fatal lightsaber wound, and kylo can bring her back to life without any training
This movie felt like a fever dream. The story telling and pacing reminded me of when a kid tells you a story and keeps saying "And then, And then, And then"
hahaha
And if you can ever say "and then" in-between your scenes, they are shit. It should always be "As a result" or something similar to tie it to the consequences of the previous scene. Not in JJ land! The only good JJ was Jameson
Haha so true, dude. I also watched Max Landis on RLM
My headcanon is that this is just a bedtime story Mando tells Baby Yoda.
He had nightmares that night.
It's dragon ball z in space, the escalation is all over the place. That moment when the emperor shot a bolt of lightning to the sky, I laughed hard. Rey and kylo are like goku and vegeta, they fused their powers and got more stronger than a God. Rey crossing the lightsabers, lol The writer from batman v superman just surpassed his masterpiece!
When Chewie first 'died' I felt relieved. He's out of his misery.
When he was ressurected - I thought 'poor bastard'
Can't help but think in my own headcanon that it was actually Han Solo who stuck Kylo Ren's lightsaber through his gut at the end of The Force Awakens. He glimpsed past the 4th Wall and saw the direction everything was headed and was like 'Fuck it, I'm out!'
Doesn't make any less sense than the two movies that would follow.
but he got a meal after all
@@HouseOfAlastrian I mean Harrison Ford would have done that too…
@@HouseOfAlastrian LOL
😂😂😂😂
"They can fly now??" - Says the former storm trooper...
Finn has no problem slaughtering his former comrades so that isn't shocking
Way to ignore character's back story like "nah, it'll be fine".
@@voivodadracula1936 And he'll do it with a smile on his face, a fist pump in the air and a "WOOOOO!" in his heart!
Literally even the clones flew
they fly now.
I'm gonna tell my kids that these were sequels to Spaceballs
Better yet, don't even mention them to your kids
dont insult spaceballs
Please dont do that to Space Balls 😭
I'm with Kuba and captain, don't insult spaceballs like that.
What have Spaceballs even done to you? Unlike new trilogy, it definitely knows what it is and what it serves for.
"Disney is the worst thing to happen to Star Wars since the Holiday Special", that was gold LOL.
I got instant PTSD, when he said that.
Don't do that to the Holiday Special. At least the special's got Bea Arthur in it.
Jesse Mathes lol
The Holiday Special is cute in that acid trip sort of way. The Disney trilogy is just bad in a kidney stone sort of way.
Disney is like the masturbating Wookie from The Holiday Special.
Star Wars Cannon Lore: Korriban is the Sith Homeworld
Star Wars Legends Lore: Korriban is the Sith Homeworld
The Rise Of Skywalker: The Sith Homeworld is a planet you've never hear of before and that doesn't even appear in any previous media about Star Wars.
Well that’s because The sequel trilogy is not canon!……obviously
@@KaizerSozaye That actually makes sense, unlike this sequel
@@KaizerSozaye Thank God...
It's better this way. They would've found a way to ruin Korriban as well.
@@feco91 Yeah, still sucks though because I was super hyped to see the ancient sith homeworld.
When Disney's Hercules has better character development than 90% of Hollywood's big budget films 23 yrs later.
Bearing in mind how far from accurate the Hercules movie is to its own source material too, and compared to whatever the heck is this excuse for a Star Wars movie...yeeeeeeesh
Edit: I still can't believe that the lady who greenlit and re-edited what this trash is now is supposed to be *the same lady whose production company brought us the Bourne Trilogy*
Oh what a fall from grace this is.
Ann Look at it this way, there was probably a bunch of more qualified/talented people who took the reigns of that trilogy. I highly doubt she was heavily involved in the creative processes of the successful films she’s been apart of. (And that includes all the films where she first found work, under George and Spielburg.)
@@SteveSmith-ty8ko I agree completely! I'm simply disappointed at the regression of quality in the projects she has, at the very least, touched upon. And be that as it may, she may consider the trilogy to be another trophy in her collection simply due to her name being attached to it (and thankfully having little influence, if her more recent track record is anything to go off of), and that I find that to be a very low blow if it is true.
Guess you....just watched Hercules again huh? Loves james woods as Hades
@@Ann-kv3yb Hence why *everyone* in Greece despises this movie (probably includes the actors behind Greek dub who probably did it because they were contractually and governmentally obliged to)
A live-action remake of Disney's Hercules would probably be the most hated thing in Greece
They have found that dagger within first hour on that planet, while luke and lando have been looking it for decades... that's bullshit.
Just plot device like a Dungeons and Dragons badly written role-playing game (or MMORPG). Everything is predictable from beginning to end.
@@herheartbeats5727 kinda like how after Rey healed the giant worm thing it moved away from them and just so happened to knock down some rocks creating an opening for them to leave.
I wonder what that reminds me of.... Totally none of the diablo games or anything.
@@Sidious66 Hehe right...all the thing reeks of childishly plotted quests in order to come to the predictable end.
.
And of course, no use/non-use, of Rey's powers will have irreversibly bad consequences.
Ja Ja: Maybe Palpatine WANTED her to find it.
But why would Palpatine make the dagger in Sith-language, if he WANTED Rey to find him? And why just make it a "treasure map" to ANOTHER treasure-finder?
Luke: I can't seem to find that dagger, we've been looking everywhere for it.
Lando: Let's keep looking and see where it is.
Luke: I think we should give up and let someone else find it.
Lando: Good idea
Seriously Disney
Palpatine is now deader than before, but he'll be fine.
I'LL BE BACK!
"Unfortunately I was killed....BUT I SURVIVED!"
It was good to hear him say DEW IT though
Nope he is definately dead now because a woman killed him this time and not a man.
Bruce Wayne
True
Forgot that’s how reality worked.
I was 12 in 1977. The impact of Star Wars at the time was amazing. It was everywhere, everyone was talking about it. Luke Skywalker was who I and my friends wanted to be. What they did with the new films seemed like an attack on those memories.
I was only born in 79 but star wars was still everything and everywhere. I watched new hope until the tape was worn out and the audio sounded all warped. What Disney did is an attack. Tear down the old so they can insert their "new" when the new has no soul.
its a planned attack. They want to destroy all our heros, because all male are toxic. Dont accept this bullshit. It is not Star Wars. Just delete it from your thoughts.
I was born in 2003 ROTS was my first introduction to SW and I've loved episode 3 since. After I've saw every movie and my regret was watching the Disney ones cause it just makes me upset how they ruined the magic in that galaxy far, far away.
Just pretend they don't exist, and you will be fine. For example, the Terminator Franchise ended with T2, and the Aliens franchise ended with "Aliens". The last canonical ST TV show was DS9. Star Wars ended with 1983's "Return of the Jedi" and Indiana Jones with the marriage of Indy with Marion Ravenwood with their son "Mutt" in attendance. Dr. Who ended when Ace and the 7th Doctor wandered off into the sunset in search of tea. This is exercising your power as consumer not to consume tainted product and preserving your precious memories.
Luke had to go to a dark swamp planet to master his jedi training. Rey just basically closed her eyes, went all "I know kung fu" on the force and suddenly knows every jedi trick in the book. Yeah...this was bad.
It's funny that they TRIED to fix one of the biggest criticism's of her character, which was that she never really trained at all. But they already made her so overpowered that by the time this movie comes around you're like, "Wait, SHE TRAINS NOW? Why?"
@@logicaldude3611 Exactly ! First she knows everything, and it's a mystery why she's so strong, it is hinted her parents might have something to do with it.
Then the second director guy says :" Screw that, the Force is female !"
Then we find out she was genetically engineered by Palpatine, that's why she is ...aaand she's training now.
There was no tension after she bested Ren in the first movie. It’s like they don’t know story telling basics
She obviously bought lootboxes
She’s obviously pay to win duh
This is not canon Star Wars, this is fan fiction. The saga ended succesfully at The Return of the Jedi.
alatriste2222 only it’s not even fan fiction , it’s people who aren’t even fans writing the fiction. and Disney as s whole especially regarding Kathleen Kennedy is just following their left fem Nazi wing agenda
"succesfully"
Yep. Which is Y I always thought it was a bad idea 2 make more star wars movies. I was NOT excited 4 these movies 4 this exact reason. I was excited 4 the prequels & we c how that turned out.but at least that was Georges we work it had some good stuff in it.but it still was disappointing so I knew better than 2 expect these 2 b any good.
Well, I liked rogue 1 & the mandalorian
@@lovelydovy660 just a little off-topic. you know, these "''4"s and "'c"s are probably faster to write than the whole words, but they certainly take more time to process for the reader than the normal words. and I think the purpose of posting a comment is for someone to read it, not to write a comment faster
The sad part is that the movie was so bad that when they pretended to kill Chewy I simply shrugged, not caring whether it was a fake out or not.
“Disney Sequel Fake Out Death!!!”
Whereas the EU actually made you care about and feel the weight of said death.
Same here. And when he reappeared, major eye rolling followed...
It's funny I have felt that way since the Clone Wars 2008 series!
"I'm not a cynic. I'm just ahead of the curve." - You know the rest.
@@fictiontheorizer1991 I actually didn't mind the second trilogy - yes, it was a different flavor than the first and while I didn't care for the parasites being the reason you have the force, it was otherwise enjoyable and "close enough" in feel and flavor to the original.
But this third trilogy was hands down the Chinese knock off version and a bad Chinese knockoff at that - we're talking paint flaking off and damaged pieces right out of the box and just getting worse from there.
Chewie's death could have been quite impactful. Rey could have had some significant character development, facing the fact that her undisciplined emotions brought her to the dark side and led to her killing him. A humbling failure that sets the hero back, yet also plants the seeds for growth. But Chewbacca figures are one of the few Star Wars toys that actually sell, so Disney couldn't have that.
Remember when Yoda himself went to the sith homeworld in Clone Wars?
And it was really easy?
And everyone knew about it?
And it wasn't this place?
Don’t compare that great arc to this trash movie
The actual, established for more than a decade before this diarrhea of a movie sith home world, is Coraban.
Yup. Actually the Sith already have 3 major planets. Korriban/Moraband, Malachor, Dromund Kaas. Yet this shithole of a trilogy doesn't even mention them.
I wouldn't tell that was easy...I think no one but him could survive there.
@@buek14 Isn't Ziost also one or am I losing it?
I cheered....... when Rey died
I laughed.......when Kylo brought her back to life
I cried...........when my PC rebooted half way through the film
😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was legitimately uncomfortable when they kissed, fucking CRINGE!
I'm going to steal this lol
While your face is extremely punchable, you're also wearing glasses. Touchè.
Very Niiice!
Think about this -
Anakin's entire fall to the dark side was because of his inability to stop his loved ones from dying. As he said, he could do nothing to save his mother in episode 2. Then he had visions of Padme's death in Episode 3, thus his obsession to save her grew so much that he turned to the dark side to try to learn how to save her.
THE ENTIRE PREQUELS AND ANAKIN'S TRAGIC STORY WAS BECAUSE HE COULDN'T SAVE THE ONES HE LOVED FROM DYING!
In Rise of Skywalker, Rey saves Ben from dying by touching him and then Ben just resurrects Rey from death by lightly touching her stomach for 5 seconds...
FU*K DISNEY STAR WARS.
Omg I didn’t think about that. Heck not even Palpatine knew that secret since he told Anakin they will discover it together. How the hell did Mary Sue find that secret?
@@satireknight Is Rey supposed to be Star Wars Jesus now or something?
Mish375 S she’s the avatar and YOU GOTTA DEAL WITHT IT
I have thought about that. This movie spits in the face of the Skywalkers. It's not their rise. It's their humiliation.
Great point.
In Legends, the Unknown Regions are unknown because of the difficulties of exploration. Scout ships have to find reliable hyperspace routes, and then they have to update the starcharts. And that's if they get back to known space in one piece.
Simply put, Legends has a good reason to call them the Unknown Regions. Disney just thought the name sounded nice and dramatically imposing. *tosses back a shot* Fuck off, Disney!
And in fanfictions: Earth is part of Unknown Regions !
And from memory there were even attempts to establish outposts and colonies in the unknown regions, but simply the difficulty getting there and the hostility of the surroundings meant that they weren’t viable.
@@timoteoseagedetoffol8795 I never understood that. Isn't it supposed to be a galaxy far far way?
@@Oturan20 It's fanfictions. Don't be afraid.
What's bothering me is that ... if Exogul is so hard to find and get to, then why did they even bother trying to hide the Sith fleet under the ice ?
So it could make a cool and dramatic entrance.
Lmao right
I've seen that somewhere before... where was it???....
ua-cam.com/video/iAMaNv4hYY4/v-deo.html
Ah yes, there it is... and SO much better... :) OL J R :)
Belka will rise!
Not only that but how could a planet with such terrifyingly unstable and extreme thermal, gravitational and electromagnetical conditions just hold water on it's 3 possible phases ? Seriously ????
EVEN on a real-life planet like Mars, which is so close to Earth in physical conditions, we know that water will be very hard to find on some phases.
Plus, not even a point for the story, because in fact, having covered the Exogul(gol ?) planet just with rocks just would have changed nothing (after all if you can hide super-destroyers the side of an European country under sea, cannot you just hide them under rocks ?).
Basically Disney took the Star Wars franchise to essentially create a princess in the galaxy. Who is the descendant of Emperor Palpatine and taken everything away from the Skywalkers. Rey makes it through the long divorce court settlement and gets full custody
And defeating the patriarcy once and for all! Joke aside I think you are correct. She did get the house that wasn't hers.
I'll be disappointed if this comment isn't in the top 10 tomorrow
Precisely.
Now we just wait for the series of animated musicals featuring Princess Mary Sue of the Galaxy defeating a whole list of men in brave and stunning ways.
There's nothing quite like the force (ALIMONY).
@Glen tennis Well said. Disney's trilogy feels like it was made by someone who saw the ads for Star Wars, saw all the pop culture and references, but never saw the movies themselves. Then tried to make a new Star Wars based on second hand info alone. It has all the iconic imagery, but everything just works wrong.
Luke was searching for the second Wayfinder, but gave up. Rey finds it in literally a couple of hours.
what a crock of shit...
*How convenient*
In a giant sandpit that’s a different color than all the other sand around it.
To be fair: she followed his lead. It's a bit like Obama ordering Osama ibn Ladin killed after all the years the rest of the world pursued him, running him down and taking his resources; and the Liberals all praising Obama for the last 5% of work.
It's just a shame Luke had absolutely no experience exploring desert planets... Oh wait...
“Writing is hard, isn’t it JJ” is the sequel trilogy summarized in one sentence 🤣
😂😂😂
Jesus, Space Balls had more respect for Star Wars than Disney has. And JJ makes Michael Bay look like Steven Spielberg.
Good one XD
Hey, stop getting your panties in a twist. It's voiding you of critical thinking.
Since Rian fucked up the second movie, JJ tried his best at damage control.
@@sirdorkster Why do you keep repeating that phrase to whoever mentions JJ? It's making you sound like a bot.
@@sirdorkster I'm sorry someone dared to imply that your mancrush isn't perfect.
Truer words never spoken. Nice!
Spoilers, if anyone still cares. But nobody watching this does.
Disney: “See? We fixed Rey. She’s OP because of her lineage. And she loses a fight!”
Fans: “You ‘fixed’ a Mary Sue by making her a princess and heir apparent to the entire galaxy, but she’s so good and perfect that she turns it down? And then having her come back from the dead, to become the dubious heir to the Skywalker legacy, with no one else left to share the glory, and all their force ghosts telling her how great she is? Effectively making all nine films all about her?”
Disney: “Uhh... hey, look, there’s Baby Yoda!” (runs away)
I hope the new trilogy is about a gay, black, transgender mermaid who is more good and powerful than Rey. This cis-binary white supremacist mindset in the original 9 movies is so bigotted. It would be great if the supreme being in the galaxy would exhibit more diversity.
You just hate strong independent women you misogynist
So she becomes the avatar and then goes to fight the fire lord
Not gonna lie, if Rey had killed Palpatine, turned evil and Ben killed her with his grandad's lightsaber that would have been seriously ballsy.
@@Parabueto I was silently hoping that would happen.
I didn’t want to risk alcohol poisoning, so I took a shot of water every time something incongruous or dumb happened... & I drowned...
F in peace.
Don't worry I did the drinking challenge. And fuck me it's just autocotrect fixing my shit at this point got I had to pause so I can keep up with the drinking because the fuck ups are just back to fucking back
F
Lolololol ....permission to use that
F
_"This movie is a walking shadow. A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"_
That William Shatner was one smart dude.
Slow yo roll 😂
Nah man, u got him mixed up with Bill Shakespeare from Star Trek!
That's Shakespeare ya Muppet!
Hilarious...😝
Ha! LOL
Remember when tie-fighters were short range fighters that couldn't function on their own in deep space? Obi Wan remembers.
That makes more sense. Why would the empire waste money on thousands of hyperdrives?
Obi-Wan also remembers things from a certain point of view, so go ask anyone else who was there before we get another Robot Chicken song number.
Or that time fighters could only fly in space
At first I thought you said, “tri-fighters,” and I thought they had advanced droid brains, and realized you meant “TIE”. The First Orders’s TIE’s were are vastly improved versions of the original TIEs, but you have to have some logic, you would not be able to stuff a hyperdrive in that small frame. Which is one reason Vader’s was bigger.
@@Soundwave142 I mean, You can add a hyperdrive in a small frame. X-Wings have them too, after all. That said, Tie Fighters were never supposed to have them. They are designed as short-range interceptors, unlike the X-Wing. Just saying "First Order Tie's are more advanced and now have hyperdrive" is just... as unimaginitive as the rest of the trilogy. It would fit right in, honestly.
SPOILER !!!!!!!!!!!
How did Palpateen survive? He got into a fridge in the Death Star.
nicolashrv lmaooo
If only han had considered this, he might still be alive. Maybe he should have stayed Frozen in Carbonite
He was “dead” at the beginning of the movie, but I think that a lot of people’s questions would be answered if they watched the movie
@@cajun4455 so...a dead guy cloned Snoke?
He got into a secret hidden compartment in somebody's coffin
Jj Abrams, the guy that made a star wars movie titled “The Rise of Skywalker” then proceeded to kill off the only remaining Skywalker (by blood) and make a palpatine steal the name.
I would like to report him for identity theft
@@M60A3 Identity theft is not a joke rey
TWIST!
The only SW movie with a clickbait title.
@@harrambou9468 no The Last Jedi is obviously clickbait. Luke says "I will NOT be THE LAST JEDI" so yeah
Palpatine: You could not live with your own failure. And where did that bring you? Back to me.
I don't understand why didn't they kept Korriban as the Sith homeworld. I mean did they piss the fans on purpose or something ?
Because jj Abrams doesnt bother to do any fucking research and just makes shit up. He is one of the worst directors that has ever lived. He has zero vision in any of his movies and is a complete sell out.
Yes. Were the first 2 films not obvious enough?
Because anything that was created by Lucas or is a part of the expanded EU means that Disney has to pay royalties. That's the real reason they threw out the old canon. It's why C3P0 had a red arm in the first movie and the falcon looked slightly different. These weren't creative changes but financial ones. It's why we have tons of planets being introduced that are functionally the same as the originals but have different names and have been subtlety changed.
It's always been about money. The wokeness is just an excuse for Disney to screw Lucas out of as much money as possible. It's also why they threw out everything he suggested, because he'd have to get paid for all of his ideas. It's why every director and writer got rotated out; everything they suggested was too close to Lucas-era stuff.
Wokeness is just a political excuse for Disney being greedy fucks; and it creates an environment where those who bitch about the changes get lambasted by the media, keeping Disney's little secret under wraps. They never cared about the franchise or maintaining its integrity, because integrity would have cost them millions.
@@PenTheMighty The odd thing tho is that through SWTCW, Korriban has been officially been made into cannon by the name of Moriban, and oddly enough Darth Bane as well. In other words, Disney is forgetting about their own cannon!
When it came up during the film, I was like know this :D and then I was left a bit gutted when it wasn't Korriban :/
"It is a tale told by an idiot."
I freakin' love that.
Macbeth ❤️
Full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.
To the last syllable of recorded time
Some people forget Shakespeare’s influence 😂
“Take a drink every time I mention some sort of contrivance or plot hole in this movie”
Me: gets alcohol poisoning and dies in a dumpster within the opening crawl.
😁😁😂😂🤣🤣🤣
I think if you took a shot of water for every contrivance or plot hole in this movie you would still die by the end credits
@@cheesedogg805 this is accurate since it is actually possible to die from drinking too much water
You know what else is dead in the dumpster with you? My hope that this film would be good.
If Disney had any sense, they should have scrapped the live-action sequel trilogy after discount A New Hope and instead used the excellent staff of The Clone Wars to create an extensive animated TV and film series out of the Extended Universe.
Wait, so Palpatine had Snoke create a planet-sized super weapon... to hide the fact that he was building a big fleet of ships?
HOW COULD HE AFFORD ANY OF THIS?
I feel like Palpatine's true power was just that he had... all the money, literally ALL the money in the galaxy.
Not to mention that building the starships underwater on a planet would be...impossible?
Yeah I'll go with impossible.
It'd make more sense if they were hidden in an asteroid field or somesuch.
They could've had them even realize "The asteroids, they're all hollow?"
Because they hollowed them out for resources.
Kerblooby.
Or he had one of the star forges from the KOTOR series.
where did they get the crews for all the star destroyers if the Sith planet is supposed to be in some secret place. Literally thousands of people would have had to make journeys there - without wayfinders!
@@garethoneill5676 that was my biggest problem as well. I mean did the entire First Order magically appear? Were they just manned with a skeleton navigation crew? Who knows.
it WOULD explain why everyone else seems to be so completely dirt poor
TROS: Exo gul is the sith homeworld
Korriban: am I a joke to you?
*Korriban
FUCKING RIGHT!?!?!?
To be fair, Jar Jar Abrams doesn't even know much about Star Wars or Star Trek.
It's not that Korriban is a joke. It's that all EU lore, original canon, proper storytelling, and basic principles are a joke to them.
I was so angry when I heard that. Fuming, even. These movies already broke their own canon and now they're just breaking it further. Korriban was in The Clone Wars, although for some stupid reason they called it Moraband. Regardless, it was the same planet. These movies are just jokes.
Thank god The Old Republic is still up and giving us good Star Wars stories. It's our only hope. Literally.
FYI, force healing has been around for a long time too but its supposed to be incredibly rare AND extremely difficult...so of course Rey can just do it now.
and it is hinted it is on the dark side of the force probably because to return life you have to steal it from somewhere.
@@sandraday6955 Kotor has it as a light side ability.
I'd say the Sith equivalent of that ability is to move life from one thing to another. (sith can swap bodies so, i'd say a dark version of force heal is very possible.)
@@forsakenvipoerx9077 pretty sure the sith equivalent of force heal was force drain but it was never shown draining ones own life to heal someone else. Like a sith would ever do something like that.
@@ryanmarr5243 i was referring to that.
@@forsakenvipoerx9077 Still would've required great study/practice. Not "Hey it's my first time performing any kind of surgery but lets try and replace this guys heart before he passes."
"... my plot analysis..." You have my respect for being able to find anything worth the title "plot".
I have a solution to Disney's problem, they should just shoot a buttload of scenes and then release them all to the public to edit together at their will.
Or buy a SW construction kit. Then give it to Topher Grace.
I dig it. Like a choose your own adventure book, but a movie.
Matthew Schultz yeah, like when Trent Reznor released those songs on GarageBand!
I would just make they fly now for two hours
Like the Phantom Edit?
J.J. Abrahams forgot about the actual sith home world:
It’s name is Korriban
That's just their grave planet. Dromund Kaas is the actual Sith home world.
@@pantherapardus1398 actually, Kaas was only the capitol of the Sith Empire.
Korriban was the first planet the Dark Jedi came upon after being banished into unknown space after the second schism within the Je'daii order. Korribans native population was a species called the Sith, who were very strong in the force. The Dark Jedi subjugated the planet and mixed/interbred with the Sith species, and eventually took the name 'Sith' to replace 'Je'daii/Dark Jedi'.
With the constant wars with the Old Republic as well as infighting between the Sith Lords (well before the rule of two) the planet became barren and was then used as their tomb world.
Or they could've made it the world, of the list tribe of the sith, can't remember the name right now, but that would've been fine too.
@@pantherapardus1398 Korriban is where the Sith originated, but once the Dark Side turned it into a wasteland, most of them moved to Ziost, leaving Korriban as a tomb world.
As for Dromund Kaas, that became the Sith homeworld after Emperor Vitiate rebuilt the Sith Empire after the Great Hyperspace War.
Yep
Oh, Emperor Palatine. Sorry that you had to be dragged into these films
Raised from the dead to be kicked...lol..the light side is ruthless..lol
well it is poetic justice, Palpatine came back to finally kill the remaining Skywalkers and have his bloodline poach the entire name! he wins
Ironic, isn't it?
@@freakindamnshiki true. And seeing as how Rey is a Palatine, her kids may follow in the path of the dark side if she were to have any
I think his inclusion has to be one of the most jarring things they came up with. What the actual?
Due to the drinking challenge you proposed at the beginning of the video, I had to split my viewing of this video into three sessions spread across three weekends. My friends weren’t impressed with me getting shitfaced three weeks in a row and drunk dialing all of them countless times, but it was worth it for the review!
Well, the parts of it that I remember, at least.
This whole movie is a series of scenes where the director was like, "Wouldn't it be cool if..."
I feel like this is what happened with the last season of Game of Thrones also.
what's funny is that this is literally 100% true. When JJ Abrams was hired to rewrite Colin Treverrow's script he literally made a bucket list of 'things he wanted to see in the last star wars movie' and then tried to build a narrative around random bullshit
"Good guy powers up and attacked and then bad guy yells and attacked and they attacked!" level fanfic writing.
@@member5488 bahahahaha so true
Yeah the perfect example of this is 10,000 star destroyers rising from beneath the ground:
Audience: "Does it make sense?"
Jar Jar Abrams: "No but it looks cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That's why all these reboots and sequels make no sense, their writing philosophy is "Screw the logic, if it looks cool just put it in there".
Remember when people argued: "JJ Abrams saved Star Wars from George Lucas & The Prequels"
Yeah no
Just Some Guy without a Mustache
Dude I see you everywhere. Ur usually lurking around the same fitness channels I watch
Me neither
I mean Damage Control from TLJ, only 1 movie, to be fair I understand why the movie is so messy, I don't agree with alot of the film though. Somehow the Prequels were completely redeemed.
satireknight weren’t that bad? what fkn drugs are u on m80
@@satireknight The prequels are Shakespeare next to this latrine explosion.
"They fly now?"
*They are called jet troopers , I'm more surprised they are riding motor bikes?!..*
yep, the good guys steal "old" hover speeders, and for some reason the police are using newer ground-based ... snowmobiles ? even though they can jet-fly faster than the snowmobiles ?
They Roll now.
@@cjjuszczak Those are future toys
I'm more surprised that they have a catapult to get off the bike. It still amuses me.
@@chesterfumblenutts6935 they roll now?!
As a 22 year old with ADHD, I can confirm I could have written a better script at 13 than Disney’s absolute monstrosity
And i believe you.
My son is a 15 year old with ADD and he could write a better script than this BS
Written*
@@dcmastermindfirst9418 cheers 😂
I believe you
The better parts of the movie were those where Rey was not present. Also, when she was trying to reach the wreck of the Death Star I was expecting her to part the seas like Moses. So disappointed she didn't.
That would have made more sense than a girl raised on a desert planet being able to sail a skiff in rough seas.
@@blatherama true, but at this point I just take as a given that she won't have trouble doing anything ever. Except hitting the training ball at the start, which seems to be a more dangerous opponent than kylo ever was.
@@ThCp__ LOL. Palpatine should have sent training balls after her rather than Sith troopers and force lightning.
Dude I thought she was gonna walk on it
@@AlucardTheFuckMotheringVampire I totally expected to see her walking on the water too. My gut was clenched in anticipation for the cringe! xD
C-3PO's programing won't allow him to read the Sith dagger.
Critical Drinker: What is this thing, the Ring of Sauron or something
Me: No, the Ring of Sauron was useful.
Also makes no sense that reading sith code is illegal or whatever. The law has to date back to the age of the old jedi, since the new republic wouldnt have any laws like that. And neither would the empire, which would undo that law probably. And 3po was made on tatooine, a planet where republic law doesnt apply
The old republic had no laws against being a sith. So I don’t see why there language would be illegal
even if C-3PO couldn’t read it for some reason they could’ve just tried to find a droid who could instead of baiting the audience
“Disney, you have stolen my dreams and my childhood. How dare you!” - Greta.
#NotMyStarWars
😹😹😹😹
lol XD
lmao
Lol I see what you did there!!!
Before Disney got there hands on it they actually “flew now” roughly 3500 years ago because the the mandalorians during the old republic even had jet pack technology
When I was a kid, I loved Disney. It's heartbreaking to grow up and see them as a sterile, bland, corrupt company.
If only they could create something that would appeal to the fans of the Disney classics.
Disney as a company was never good or benevolent as far as I can tell. Though, certainly even moreso sterile and bland and corrupt in recent decades. What you should love are the incredible works of art its creative teams produced when given good direction, oftentimes in spite of whatever politics are going on in the higher circles. It helps to separate one from the other.
Looking back, Disney had a real bad habit of killing the parents off in their films. Seriously, tally it up.
The Disney-family had to sell out to Jews in the 80s. That was the beginning of the end of The Walt Disney Company.
I pretty much only care for their animated content from Snow White to most of the stuff up to Tangled. But the company in itself represents the absolute worst of evil super power corporations. Old Walt would be spinning in his damn grave.
My wife laughed at me when I went to see '1917' instead of this.
hoosieryank67 oh trust me 1927 was a way better film
Who's laughin' now?
DIVORCE HER
@@Budgettechbro
Is 1927 the sequel?
I had that same choice, and I chose wrong.
Palpatine didn't die. It was just a clone. Can't wait for him in the next movie! x'D
Being incinerated doesn't kill him. But also being incinerated kills him.
Turns out that palpatine was literally all the sith
If Palpatine’s survived three attempts to kill him, all while engineering a redux of the Empire, at this point just let him. I’d say he’s earned it.
@@voivodadracula1936 Always has been. 🔫👨🚀
Original Trilogy - Beautiful, masterful, unique story telling based on past movie tropes
Prequel Trilogy - A decent, dark, origin story to how the originals came to be
Sequel Trilogy - kid friendly garbage with absolutely no substance and no care for past characters
I really hope Disney learns from this mistake and avoids it in case they decide to do another trilogy, which I know they will because $$$.
Except what you describe the prequels to be is basically only what Revenge of the Sith was, because The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones sucked and are basically just kids’ movies now.
@@thefilmwatcher1302 The first two movies have a ton of flaws but I wouldn’t consider them terrible, if anything they are just ok.
@@MigIgg I've always had love for the Phantom Menace; almost a closeted lover of it back when it was cool to hate on the prequels.
AOTC I understand the criticisms but still find it enjoyable overall.
@@thefilmwatcher1302 they’re dark, they have a stringent plot, and are decent overall for prequels
Could they have not been so... eye-rolling at times, yes
But at least it made sense,
And that scene in Attack of the Clones where Palpatine stands watching all the clones and Star Destroyers rise, with the Empire’s theme,
Is glorious,
Also loved the slow exploration of more of the galaxy, even if nowadays it seems everyone dislikes that,
Phantom Menace had some questionable stuff, but was a great introduction to the world, with some interesting worldbuilding
You get from those two a massive amount of information, Slave trading, Podracing, So many species, the Sith, the Jedi
Cloning,
So many new worlds (even if nowadays no one likes stuff that isn’t relevant or could be cut out, like Dexters diner, but that’s just people not waiting for a buildup with less patience, I think)
Political issues and exploration
They’re possibly some of the best stories ever told in movie/book history
Revenge of the Sith is more memorable, but overall, had less in comparison,
It’s only got a few brief shots of worlds, a space battle,
But the Personal conflict of Anakin, is so wonderful, the consequences memorable,
It’s also got the aftermath like Jedi Temple and Wookieland, but it’s nothing compared to the ending finale, quite possibly one of the greatest fights, up there
All three are objectively superior to the originals
Even if the dialogue is a bit clunky to hear and watch, it’s quite realistic (which is also partly why it’s clunky)
The sequels have more than the originals, but none of it is worth anything, so it’s why they’re worse
The new Sequals that they’re making?
Bad, the world’s completely broken, nothing can be done to fix it without stupidity being clearly visible
@@glauberglousger6643 First, not to be pedantic, but this always annoys me. It’s “sequels”, not “sequals”. Just to get that out of the way.
Second, what makes the prequels lackluster is the presentation. The worldbuilding and story is amazing; the buildup to the original trilogy status quo is great. (Most of) The characters are really cool, and Anakin was a really good protagonist played by a talented actor. The presentation is awful tho; the dialogue isn’t just flat; it’s wooden and lifeless, making the characters feel dry with their dry deliveries. There’s no energy or special tinge to the dialogue; it’s just flat out telling you what’s going to happen in the plot before it happens.
The pacing is also kind of bad. The first Star Wars movie-not calling it A New Hope-accomplished in getting more known to the audience about the story and the world in 20 minutes than Phantom Menace did in an hour. And Phantom Menace is the better of the first two prequels; Attack of the Clones has a lot more examples of the awkward wooden/stilted dialogue. Worldbuilding is good, but you at least need a sense of progression if your movie is as flatly presented as Phantom Menace. Which, unlike AOTC, I don’t even think is a bad movie. It’s mid; it’s perfectly mid.
Third, realism is not an excuse for clunky dialogue. Of course, even good dialogue that is very obviously overly scripted and rehearsed can also be a chore to watch (i.e. Dragon Ball Kai, the “manga-accurate” redub of Dragon Ball Z), but the prequels’ dialogue isn’t that good until Revenge of the Sith, which fixed basically all of the problems of the other two. If the dialogue is flatly delivered and/or makes the film boring and uninteresting to watch, it’s clunky. You can’t just excuse the clunky dialogue as realistic when you need good dialogue to keep people invested in the story you’re trying to tell.
Fourth, I’ve never called Revenge of the Sith a bad movie. To me, it’s always been fantastic.
Fifth, yeah, the sequels’ worldbuilding sucks in TFA. Just copies of planets from the prequels and originals that we never get any further insight into. The other two movies in the sequel trilogy at least had some interesting ideas for planets and let us see them on a deeper level.
The half explained reason for Palpatine being back is cloning : "Dark secrets only the Sith knew about". i guess the entire prequels aren't canon anymore
Apparently Disney didn't want to reference them for fear of triggering the prequel haters
@@jeremyallen492 I'm speachless. It was so obvious it'd backfire. Plus, it's literally doing bad world building, aka doing a bad science fiction movie. Just to avoid being linked to the prequels.
@@Goroganos guess it was easier for them to take Capcom's "who gives a shit!" approach to the story than it was for them to can the sequel trilogy entirely after Last Jedi torpedoed Farce Awaken's flimsy narrative and start from scratch with people who actually knew what the hell they're doing.
Would've taken longer but it'd have been preferable to the lowest common denominator storyline we got as closure to the forty years of storytelling and world building the Skywalker saga has under its belt
The cloning bit was done in Legends as well. And it was shit then too.
@@HouseOfAlastrian the timothy trilogy did it as well, and it was the best books ive read tho
Thanks again CD for taking one for the team
Rey is Palpatine's grand-daughter. Grand-daughter of the Emperor. They made Rey a Princess. A Disney Princess.
Good one! 😝👌
Damn that was Spot On! 👏
Now with, hindsight always being 20/20, we understand that's all they ever intended to do. Excellent comment and observation @troffle.
Thanks.
I hate it.
Hmm... it all make sense now.
Stood in line as a kid, waiting in the rain to get a ticket to the first Star Wars movie. The next batch of movie chapters built upon it very well. I even enjoyed the Rogue One & Solo branches. Nothing is perfect (yes Jar Jar was dam irritating, however he made me laugh. He was 'that guy' somebody always brings to the party to love or hate) but they still added to a great story with expected continuity.
Then came the final 2 shows that not only shit every bed that Hilton has to offer, but did it despite the fact they actually had to go out of their way to sewer the once traditional storyline and spit on every character that had earned their time tested golden right to stand tall and not be simply displaced by a new wave of magically entitled upstarts. Those new actors should really be embarrassed. Can't wait to see them pushed out of their own much dimmer spotlight and enjoy feeling ripped off by the babies of their future.
A couple of 'Spaceballs' sequels would have fit better. But JJ wouldn't know much about 'balls' ...
I can relate to that. I was 8 years old when it came out. People who waiting in line with me, were People who actually just got out of the theater and wanted to see it for the second or third time. Not all but alot of them. People went crazy with that movie. When ESB came out, it was even worse and the cinema were I was living at the time had a special run when you could see ANH and ESB for the same price, shortly after the second came out, maybe 3 or 4 weeks after. There was People who waited for that special projection. RoJ was the same thing. It was an amazing time for movies, then terminator and robocop came out, the goonies.. and they did little publicity except for the posters, so imagine something as creative and original come out today, with all the social media and people who would talk about them movies. People would need to wait for DAYS on the opening night and few weeks later. I wish the younger People could experience something like this, not with only one movie but exactly what we had, 6 or 7years straight of amazing movies like we had the chance to see when they came out.
I’ve just watched this, Googled how palpatine is actually back. And read 3 long ass explanations doing plot acrobatics to explain why he’s even in the story. If fans have to try that hard to explain one plot point I think that sums up this new mess of a trilogy.
It essentially is supposed to come down to 'inhales'
*Clones*
"Writing is hard, isn't it, JJ?" 😅
I dunno, Capcom's gotten by on writing drunken ad libs for pretty much their entire existence and people practically trip over themselves to shower money on pretty much anything THEY create.
It's all about appealing to the lowest common denominator
Did he just say Capcom??????? 🤔🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@KaizerSozaye they aren't exactly the best storytellers, buddy.
@@jeremyallen492 ok and why are we comparing a video game company to a legendary cinema franchise in Star Wars??
@@KaizerSozaye it's the irony of the matter, genius. People trash (franchise A) for screwing their storyline and then turn around and praise (franchise B) despite pulling the exact same shit as (franchise A) did
How is it possible that 30 minutes of "The Mandalorian" are more interesting and fun than almost 8 hours of the sequel trilogy???
I don't know what Kathleen Kennedy thinks but under normal circumstances she must hate the success of "The Mandalorian"! But i think she would never admit that in public! George Lucas was a couple of times on the set of The Mandalorian! So he seems to care and like the show! Jon Favreau admitted that he took a lot of George Lucas' ideas and used them in "The Mandalorian"! I bet KK was pissed about that...!
true,honestly i enjoyed and had more impressions from episode 7 of Mandalorian than the entire Rise of Skywalker movie
Doubt KK has no say whats going on with the Mandalorian otherwise we will be getting a majority of woke episodes. Which is also why the woke are pissed off with the lack of gender politics in it as theyve been crying for lack of women roles and mando isnt a women
in french KK sounds like "caca" wich means "poo-poo"!!!💩 ...it fits her so well!
Fuck off, film!! 😂🤣
Could not disagree more. Mandalorian is really good but at the end of the day it is a TV show and therefore I cannot be as good as these films because TV shows just aren’t nearly as grand in scale and we need grand scale.
The sequel trilogy violated the core tenants of good storytelling. Not only did they need an outline drawn up of all the integral plot points of every installment with clear definable purposes of all principle characters, but they had to know what happened to the core original trilogy characters in the 30 years between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens, so when you introduce them back into the story once you properly introduce all the principal new characters first of course, you show how much they changed to such a drastic degree that the moviegoer wonders:"what the fuck happened to you since last I saw you!" Not only that, you have the story take place in once familiar locales, such as Coruscant or Kasykk (I know I'm spelling that wrong, it's the Wookie homeworld) and show it in a drastic new light. You want to leave the audience wondering the how and why and create tension, while slowly filling in the blank spaces. These films did none of this, in favor of nostalgia in place of good storytelling and allowing organic and believable progression without repeating the same shit over and over again.
The Rise of Skywalker made me strengthen my bond and love for the prequels and original trilogy. Everything about this epic 'finale' is like a cruel, drawn out torture for everyone involved and everyone watching.
Why are the First Order using motorbikes, when hoverbikes are standard military issue?
Seriously the only other wheeled vehicle in Star Wars is the Juggernaut tank in ep3. That would be so archaic in universe, where repulsorlift technology has been around for thousands of years. That would be like the U.S. Army Rangers riding a horse drawn chariot into battle.
Riding a horse you say...? It would be as ridicolous as riding horses on a star destroyer to attack them.... wait... it happened in this piece of shit... fock off film...
"Why are the First Order using motorbikes, when hoverbikes are standard military issue?" - To sell more toys. No other reason.
@@sourcerror pretty much sums up the whole trilogy lol
JJ got the idea from Star Trek Nemesis where Captain Picard drives a dune buggy. JJ thought, "Hey that's a great idea! I'll steal it." (Yes I know it's a stupid idea.)
Hailfire droid and Armored Tank Droid: "Am I a joke to you?"
This era should be henceforth known as: Teletubbie Star Wars.
How dare you insult Po! Feel my wrath! *blows bubbles*
The Space Balls trilogy!
Tinky winky would've been a better antagonist than kylo ren
bashpr0mpt you just sent coors light up my nose..🤣
Hey!!! that's insulting!!!
to Teletubbies...
Horses. F'ing horses. Why not just give them all ferraris.
Horses... because stupid cannot be fixed
Force vs. Ferrari would be a dope spin-off
Or why not flying rhinos
what happened to speeders? and the clone "bikes"? Ahh fuck it, we can't be fucked making props, let's just give them horses, FUCK OFF MOVIE!
@@jasonezekiel3250 There was a line "Jam their speeders!" followed by "They're not using speeders!" *que horses*
Umm, WHEN have they been able to jam speeder bikes? We've never seen that before. Not on Endor, Passana, Crait, or anywhere else where stopping speeders would have been useful. They just pull this plot-point out of their ass to justify the horses.
"writing is hard isn't it JJ"🤣🤣🤣😂 "oh yes, I can definitely smell shite"
I'm not sure folks truly appreciate the sacrifices you make for us.
You mean the sacrifices his liver makes for us.
@@The_Reality_Filter same guy.
1.9k downvoters are in stage one of Star Wars Grief: Denial.
Well that flew over most people's heads, but I agree with you.
the downvotes are not canon
Disney bought a moneymaking machine and stuffed it with toilet paper and tampons.
and soy milk, pink wigs and estrogen pills
MOSTLY TAMPONS---"VAGINA WARS" IS NEXT.
HAHAHAHA awesome.
@@JohnP.Conley-gt5ce Vagina wars hahahahah awesome again
Correction... 'used' toilet paper and tampons
I always found it funny how Palpatine told Kylo to “kill the girl” constantly in the beginning and middle and at the end he was like “I needed you alive and to come here all along”. Ughhh!!!
"But then Rey goes for a walk! And Chewie goes after her, but then he gets captured because hes and idiot now I guess." Had me dying. 🤣
Can we all just agree that the sequel trilogy should not be considered canon simply due to how stupid they are and how they undermine the plot of Anakin
DejaVoodooDoll u gae
@DejaVoodooDoll You're gay and smell stinky.
Have it be a horrible nightmare Luke had when he fell asleep in the Jedi temple once.
@DejaVoodooDoll . . . Did your mother drop you on your head repeatedly as a child?? Oh my aching head. Are you one of those Tofu Klones whose head goes nuclear whenever someone mentions the sacrilege of disgusting, perverted things like CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT? Come to think of it, have you ever watched the original trilogy NOT shitfaced? I hear you get a lot more from it when you're not projectile vomiting and hungover . . .
Yup definitely
In the scene where Rey jumps over Kylo’s TIE fighter, is there a reason he is flying a spacecraft at the speed of a family sedan?
so she can jump over and show the patriarchy who's the boss
so she can jump over and show the patriarchy who's the boss
so she can jump over and show the patriarchy who's the boss
so she can jump over and show the patriarchy who's the boss
@Dog House he is the bad guy, so he actually LIKES sand...because it is coarse and irritating...
“Nahhh, it’ll be fine” is the equivalent of “super easy, barely an inconvenience” on Pitch Meeting
"I used to think Star Wars was a tragedy, but now I realize it is a comedy."
@Maxx Kroes you wouldn't get it
@Darth Gravid Ooh mooey mooey I love you!
This trilogy has shat on Luke, Leia, Han, Anakin, the rest of the Jedi Order, and George Lucas. 😡
and palpatine
And the fans
And my faith in Star Wars
@@thekiller7994 I find your lack of faith justified.
And when shitting on George Lucas is considered an insult, you know it’s bad.
I just want to know one thing... Do they fly now?
Axilano Den They fly now.
/sobsincorner
I think Disney would really appreciate it if no one would ask anymore questions, thanks
"They survive the Death Star explosion now?!"
"They survive the Death Star explosion now."
Spider Jeranimo “the dark side can lead to abilities some would consider unnatural”
They can float around in space now
"She trains now?"
"SHE TRAINS NOW!"
There is side quests in Skyrim that have a better story than the last Jedi
The Jedi need to hear this to save their souls: ua-cam.com/video/jWq9PZ_PB-0/v-deo.html
and we all know Skyrim's writing is abysmal...
I swear, I'm gonna force choke a bitch if I have to hear another sermon about Talos.
Thanks, laughed hard.
Adrock 99 Exept maybe Blood On the Ice, that quest was almost as broken as star wars lol
"They fly now?"
Says C3P0 who saw Clone troopers, Storm troopers and Storm troopers series X fly.
Says Poe who saw Storm troopers series X fly.
Says Finn who was a Storm trooper series X.
I really don't think Abrams knows jack shit about Star Wars, but he's the creator of Felicity and alias. Nuff said...
And we didn’t even get one Mandalorian in this trilogy
@@russiankodiak6849 that's for the best.
Jetpacks and yet not a single Mandalorian to be seen.
Fuck off, film!
Calm down, it was just a joke.
Like when somebody pees on you and tells you it's raining, except less funny.
"Maybe they had to save on fuel costs"....oh snap. The Critical Drinker gives the Last Jedi a verbal middle finger.
I like how Lando just chills in a trailer for 30 years instead of helping the New Republic.
Lazy writing!
Ray: *pulls a Imperial Transport ship back to the ground*
Me: "Starkiller did it better!"
And we could pull Star Destroyer from sky!
Yep
He really did
Pulling an entire Star Destroyer to the ground was so epic.
@@HouseOfAlastrian "reach out with the force and clip that destroyer!" at the very least that scene looked like a massive strain on Starkiller
This film honestly felt really rushed and desperate. Abrams even said that the negative reviews for this film were right. He knew what he was making sucked.
Edit: typed "an" instead of "and", this has been corrected now.
Jozinek Where’d he say that? Not doubting, just curious because this is the first time I’ve heard this
@@emblemblade9245 just Google "JJ Abrams they're right" and you'll see numerous vids and articles talking about it.
Ah, just read it. Honestly not a very satisfying read. He was like “the critics are right, the fans are right, you can’t please everyone” despite deliberately trying to please people who hated TLJ. What a copout
Can't blame him... Ryan Johnson ruined EVERYTHING JJ had prepared for the trilogy
Wasn’t his idea to write for the second film
"Let the past die, kill it if you have to"...they really did just that.
"but first bring it back if it's dead then kill it again"
1:41 I recently found out that Carey Fisher was absolutely coked up whilst filming the SWHS. She had to snort her way out of her trailer every morning through a solid wall of pure Colombian snow just to make it through the day.
In some scenes you can tell she's out of her mind and glassy eyed, which is hilarious. So was Mark Hamel but he'd not long recovered from a major car accident.
They had that good shit back then. Damn.
the desire to see part two is stronger than the desire to see the film
oooo that's a BINGO!
Indeed.
@Stesilaus 😂😂😂 It's was a popular Scottish sketch show called Chewin' the Fat. You can see episodes on UA-cam.
There’s desire to see the film? :/
@Stesilaus Somewhere in here: ua-cam.com/play/PLCQa4oxkXkMORKDVUGQZzMtB_xp-3tK1F.html
You : take a shot everytime you notice something stupid.
Me : gets rushed to hospital for alcohol poisoning.
„I‘m really sorry but there is nothing we can do to help.“
I finished a bottle of Baileys though I admit that's only 10 standard drinks. Still, I'm buzzed now lol
in the first act alone
Just praying the paramedics and the doctors and hospital staff aren't playing the same game while on duty.
Yeah I wasent joining in on that. I wanted to survive till the end of the video, and also not die...
They broke the Force and my spirit with this movie. I have not consumed alcohol in 20 years but am really craving a Peat Scotch right now.
Don't, it's not worth it.
Don't do it, you got this. Also, fuck this movie.
@Hank Hill Oh I am, I'm just saying he shouldn't.
Don't do it bro! Don't fall to the dark side. Cheer yourself up by watching the eternal twins montages
Don't do that man
We have episodes I - VI to watch again and lov
Don't start doing alcohol because of bad movies made by people who don't understand Star Wars. I too have a no alcohol rule, I vowed to never drink in my life.
Don't break you rule because of Disney. Be strong with the force.
Just can’t believe this whole trilogy occurred over the course of like a year since the first 2 movies were literally back to back occurring over the course of a weekend basically
40 years and Palpatine won.. thanks Kathy.
@DejaVoodooDoll kathy hired them
@DejaVoodooDoll Yes ""white guys"" well one of them is
@DejaVoodooDoll Leave the pathetic racism and try to discuss like an adult.
@DejaVoodooDoll what does that have to do with anything? So, this was not Disney and Kathleen's debacle, this was all whitey's fault?
DejaVoodooDoll Why the hell do you have to emphasize that they’re white? Like you’re obviously holding some passive aggressiveness against white men.
"Because we can't have a woman seeking instructions from a man in 2019 can we"
21st century on a nutshell
Didn't Luke train her in "The last Jedi"?
And considering Luke is now dead, what other Jedi could train her?
MAV4ICK I mean doesn’t he appear as a force ghost?
MAV4ICK He ‘trained’ her. He didn’t train her. At least with Yoda and Luke’s training we saw a little bit of the strain and we witnessed his progress but with Rey it just feels like Luke is showing her like one or two things and that’s it. We don’t see her doing front flips or carrying packs on her back. The most we get in terms of seeing her ‘train,’ is when she was swinging her lightsaber at that rock.
This entire trilogy is smothered with men hate. Look at the scene w Purple hair telling off the pilot guy. That was there purely as a fk you to men. Leia with her stupid strategy in commanding the rebels. Same w the girl jedi. She's better and more powerful than all then men. Even at sailing, even at flying a ship. I'm all for empowering women don't get me wrong, is just when the pendulum swings so far the other direction it's impossible to unsee it in film/tv
@@Redhotlugnut the girl who grew up on a desert planet can swim and sail.
Disney should give the filmmakers a budget of $50 million and tell them to make the next movie. That will force the director to concentrate on the story instead of the special effects.
The issues are bigger than that
@@brennenspice6098 some fan made short film only budget atleast 10 thousand dollars but cooler then this...
@@napoleon4153 but they are shorter also. And if you want AAA quality special effetcs from ILM, famous actors etc, you already need a lot of money
All the special effects and famous actors in the world can't save a crummy script and story.
No offence these packaged vfx look like shit compared to the 1990's. The digital cameras used during the CGI sequences show impossible angles and heights which ruins the illusion.
This Trilogy accomplished something I thought impossible, it made me love the prequels dearly
Rey is not a Jedi. She resorted to anger for power. Only Sith do that.
Exactly. But watch out: here comes the idiots that will say she's the "Balance" of the Force and uses both Light and Dark or some other nonsense.
@@Idazmi7 It's in the movie you nab. She's not a Jedi, she doesn't follow the code. She's not a a sith, not following the sith code. Literally buries jedi lightsabers and pulls a yellow lightsaber (known in cannon for grey jedi aka we use the force not light or dark side).
@@JOhnDoe-nl4wj
_"It's in the movie you nab. She's not a Jedi, she doesn't follow the code. She's not a a sith, not following the sith code. Literally buries jedi lightsabers and pulls a yellow lightsaber (known in cannon for grey jedi aka we use the force not light or dark side)."_
Don't you mean *_purple?_* Like Mace Windu's? That, and the movie never says she's using the Dark Side and directly treats her as a Jedi... because the writers are dumb.
Uhh, and Mace Windu. Do your research.
Or hate it. I didn't write it.
@@Idazmi7 No, green and red combined is yellow. Grey jedi don't distinguish between light and dark. Force is force for them.
Nothin like destroying an entire franchise
Fuck off disney!!
Progressivism Poisons Everything
ua-cam.com/video/PEIOtI1NMQc/v-deo.html
So, they spent 5 billion dollars just to watch it burn.
The last Jedi destroyed the original trilogy and this movie finished it off
The best way I could describe this plot: "pinball machine". Bouncing around from one thing to the other, not really accomplishing anything, but making a shit-ton of noise and flashiness along the way
Well said.