*NEW SUMMER 2024* I now offer self-guided *online courses* to help women of ANY age and experience level CRUSH those single streets FASTER and more efficiently! 🙂 Check out my course offerings here 👉 www.boyfriendblueprint.com/courses
wow, that's a LOT of responsibility on women to do ALL the relationship work. Why should we accept reluctant who never put in the work to learn and communicate? Because lady parts somehow make us Mother Theresa? Ladies - there are other guys out there that are not this emotionally crippled, you don't have to stay in a relationship that revolves entirely around his inner wounds and needs, wondering what on earth else you could do to stroke his fragile ego just the right way :D
You can’t sacrifice your happiness for a man with mommy issues and doesn’t know what they want. Amazing how these men expect women to be responsible for their own behavior. If you’re not mature enough to be in a relationship then stay single. Grow up or stay with mommy.
Amen. I raised a man and I'm not looking to raise anybody else's male child to be a man I don't need a little boy that wasn't raised to be a man by his mommy its not my job and I'm not responsible for the fact that his mommy failed him. I've got to many other things that I need to do.
If a man doesn't want to be around you and he doesn't want to stick to you like glue it's best to leave him alone he is not the man for you if he doesn't care for you or show interest in whom you are as person just keep it moving because he's a waste of your time. Just work on being your best self until the right man comes alone that's right for you
I never made a scene in a relationship. In my 20's I discussed reasonably. Today in my 30's I no longer discuss - I wait silently till he wants to talk. If I want something from him, I can put that in two sweet sentences. Using as few words as possible. The less words - the more he actually listens. And if he with draws emotionally I do the exact same till he finally remembers I exist. Good thing, I have great friends for emotional support, 3 jobs and lots of passions and hobbies.
I have to tell you this but that's not OK. You're just letting him be passive aggressive against you and stonewall you till he feels like he remembers you exist! WTH! Get out now. you sound like the mother of a teenager. I'm a mother I'm guessing you arent. Believe me when you have kids you wont want a grown up one to care for as well. You need a man who steps up and acts like a MAN.
When I was married I keep my voice calm while my future Ex flew off the handle for drama he created from nothing. It often calmed him down to realize I wasn't buying into his drama. So even with toxic people it does work. I was so relieved when I walked away. My health improved too.
I knew a psycho like that. He harbored a lot of anger towards his mom and it came out in rude remarks all day long. I got tired of taking so much sh$# and broke it off. He was shocked because he was happy in the relationship. NOT ME.
I did that. I literally gave up him. Then he set up dates. Worse, he asked me to go to his place and ask me not to hold back. I said that was too much. So we decided to go for a drive. He then was sweet. I got excited. He then became distant. Now I'm not sure whether I d change my plan tommorrow. I am afraid to make a mistake with someone emotionally unavailable, which is never my track record. What a mess.
Honestly, sometimes it’s simply not worth the effort...and that’s OK! But, you only get so much time on this planet, so how can you begin reclaiming your energy and time and wield it into something that really fires you up when you wake up in the morning? 🔥🔥
Very good advice! A guy I'm dating was really late for a date (2 hours). He did let me know in advance. I remained calm. When he finally showed up, I didn't blow up at him or anything. Simply calmly stated "what happened?" and he explained everything and all was good. He doesn't arrive late anymore!
Dated this one girl who “wasn’t sure about us” every couple weeks. Instead of pulling away, I told her that we’re both adults and that it was unnecessary emotional labor to do so. It is extremely toxic to abandon a partner without a conversation, the same way it is toxic to tantrum and force your partner to “fight” for you whenever you feel insecure, instead of having an adult conversation.
Amen ! My ex was like that, he would get distant, unsure and I would tantrum like you said to make him react. It was toxic. It was my first relationship and I regret behaving like this but at least I’ve learned what not to do. I Think the best thing is to talk about it and if they don’t want to just leave and cut your losses
Seriously. I got to the point of no longer giving any lengthy expressions of feelings or what his distance and detachment does. Now, I just say this isn't what I wanted, so I'm out and you just do you without me. If someone wants you and wants you around, they would make it known. No one should have to stick around at the expense of their own sanity and feelings while another can't handle their own in a mature and communicative way.
No it is not toxic to leave without a conversation when they never wanted to talk about anything that you were unhappy with before you left. They can suck it!
Yeah sounds like more work than I'm interested in doing. I raised my son to be a man as a single mom and I'm just at the age where I'm going to walk away from these little boys in grown men's body's bc I have other things to do.
When a man screams, it activates the "danger alarm" in a woman's body. The main reason she is silent in such circumstances is because she is extremely stressed. In history, people died when men got angry. It takes a lot of self control and awareness for a woman to keep calm and detached when a man screams.
@@datingcoachryanpatrick It is possible but much more difficult that it is for men to stay calm and serene. If you have time, check out for Beyond Mars and Venus, by John Gray to find the scientific explanations.
Maybe it depends on if he is yelling at you and making it personal and yelling about something. If someone makes the argument personal, I'm walking away.
5.5 years into marriage and my husband who had adored me became emotionally distant during my 2nd pregnancy and never returned. Almost two years later it's never returned. I went from I'll always work to wanting to stay home and homeschool and work 2 days a week. I've returned to working 40 to 60 hours a week but he never "came back" emotionally 😔 he stiffens when I hug him. I don't do those thing you talk about. He always made me happy. I always tried to smile when he came home. I always said I was happy but he couldn't handle my changes as a mom.
I'm really grateful for your videos ❤️ Today I decided I'm gonna build back my self-confidence and don't let anyone abuse my kindness. I didn't have a dad to advice me things kind of things. Thank you very much for your advices!
I'm the one bouncing off the walls not him. He stays calm and eventually I come back down to his level. Thanks to Ryan I'm learning and remembering to control my bounciness
Good video! I’m guilty of this, lashing out emotionally. Entrainment, I’ll work on that. Along with breathing and taking a step back when my feelings get hurt. Thank you
I'm so proud of you Ryan 😊 when I subscribed last year you we're just in less than 1k... Now... Omg!!! More and more power! Yup, everything I learned from your videos are very effective, especially all the best techniques you share. Thank you so much!
Yay! Thanks Carina for checking back with the channel! YES, the growth has been *very* exciting 😀 And I so appreciate you being there in the very beginning...thanks for subscribing! Should be an interesting year 😄
I hear you. But him screaming and going crazy all the time while you remain constantly calm and neutral takes a lot of effort, and after a while, it's draining, and you start to feel like an emotional dumping ground. It's like only one person is allowed to feel frustration, or any kind of strong emotion, etc. And it's not me. God bless his new girlfriend.
Well, I don't know if this is what Ryan meant, but What I believe is that this advice and this mindset will work logistically with men who are not mentally ill and who are sober from drugs or alcohol at the time of the conflict resolution. Anyone?
I think some women need to hear this because a lot of the times we’re like this and they listen for & wait for us to calm down but then we don’t return that favor the same way.
There's also the situation where he interrogates you or accuses of something ridiculous and gets you to lose your temper, then points out how irrational you are when you explode.
Here I am 74 years of dealing with men, and now I'm seeing a 40 year old. I admit that our relationship is mostly sexual, still I need him emotionally as well. He pursued me at first and now he is distant, until we get together. I'm too old to not know what's going on in the relationship. I just want him to know it and don't know how to tell him and keep his interest in me.
This is actually a good video! I finally realize that he’s not emotionally unavailable he’s just distant and shy. I always felt like he was waiting for me to lead the way. I feel better now about my relationship. Most videos make me hate him but this one really hit my specific issues !
I needed this, thank u. Ofc . men should do their part too , but its good to hear what to do . If a man and a woman loves eachother unconditionally, they will solve their problems. Good, selfless communication is the key!
He become emotionally distant to me because I done something that made him super upset and even I humble myself and I apologised to him and change myself, he still emotionally distant to me for 4 months already. But he told me he is contented to have relationship with me even we don't have often communication and told me that way he has peace of mind. Made me so stress and anxiety.
Great video! You made me laugh at some point, thank you so much. Dealing with an emotional distant man right now, he’s on divorce process! So you can imagine! I’ll try to keep calm 😓😓😓
I would like maybe a possible video of someone a man professing his feelings and making them clear you are exclusive. But then suddenly stop communicating, is it because there scared?
His right on about how men align female conflict with their mothers. About 'looking to her for the road back out of an emotional situation,' women should do this in a way that is not patronizing, authoritative or dismissive. And we should not see you doing this either. Do it because it's you're strong suit and you love him, in the same way you want him to lead you without rubbing your face in it. Good stuff here for women, imho. Cheers.
Yeah I'm thinking my guy was just emotionally unavailable. Besides who the hell wants a 50 year old man who still has his mother cook and clean for him....yes this was the last person I dated.
Wish I had this video before I let my emotions take over and chew him out... Lost him forever because of it and kicking myself for losing a good thing. Thank you for the future knowledge either way.
Emotions getting the better of us in something I think we can *all* relate to. It's a part of the human condition. Just because one good thing may have passed certainly doesn't mean that more good things aren't in store for you. Keep your head up 😉
Ryan Patrick so in relation to the comment above, is one disagreement (or perceived) truly enough to make someone leave? Or is this just an example of the person’s inability to communicate/express emotions? And if a particular conversation with an emotionally insecure person does end up in misunderstanding and that person shutting down, how do you go about making amends?
Thank you. Thank you. I keep coming back to this video. Men also have suffered Trauma in their Family of Origin...and yes, as humans, they become frightened inside when their buttons are pushed too. Thank you for your positive and calming advice. I also love your constant message of working on oneself to be a whole, healed vital individual. Thank you for your insights Ryan!
Would Love to know when You're doing another UA-cam live. I'm new to the dating field after 22 yrs of marriage. I'm learning alot! Your videos are Great!
All these videos can b summed up into one neat package. If you have any doubt from day one , leave quickly so you dont end up watching all these videos. Chances are if you are here watching these videos u have already invested too much time in a guy who doesnt care about u
I wish I had watched this 2 weeks ago. I blocked him because of wishy washy behaviour and not following through on plans, not calling when he said he would, and verbally abusing me. I lost my s#@&.
Missing a HUGE one…if they lost a job, lost someone, feels inadequate or sad in any way. I know when men are depressed they pull back and are not going to be very open with feelings-just let him know you are there but give him space and time.
Ryan, your relationship videos are excellent. You give so much information. Makes alot of sense. Women used to look up to men and respect them. Most have become cynical due to stress. Working, single, dating sites. I agree 100% with what you say to women. Women have lost their femininity. Men still want women they can talk to and trust.
Love this video! I've learned what it's like for the man to feel being in the midst of a distant and unavailable woman, which I realized am playing that part. Love your series and look forward to the live segment!
Thanks Ryan! This is really helpful to know about this, the way you break everything down about what might be some of the reasons why men and women have communication breakdowns and emotional detachments and defense mechanisms in relationships is really eye opening. Thanks so much for your amazing videos and helping Men and women to understand each other better and have accountability and relationship conflict management skills, you are a real Gem in the UA-cam community! :)
Thanks so much Seattle Red! I honestly wasn't sure how this particular video was going to go over with the group, but you read my intention behind it perfectly!! Really appreciate you watching these videos and recognizing that I am *definitely* trying to bridge that communication/energy gap between us guys and you gals 🙂🙂Happy New Year!!
Hi Ryan, I recently just started watching your youtube videos. Your animations crack me up and I find your advice spot on. I am an older women and my brain can only absorb so much dating coach advice. Being recently widowed, I have been very discouraged by dating sites, knowing that men and women jump from person to person and ghost - taking a big break right now to restore a positive mindset and my energy,! I’ve learned some tactics to weed out scammers and I love the coaches that get right to the point, which you do. Just wanted you to know you’re appreciated! Marti
Yes, I have brought to his attention that I'm not pleased with his inconsistency. He doesn't make me feel a priority, not keeping his word . I used "I feel" statements . Still , too sensitive!
Well, that aplies more to me!! I'm the one that cant be emotional available because the man gets defensive or judgmental or just mean, so I totally understand men... and definitely applies to women as well..
You've explaind it in such a brilliant and realistic way. It's very neccesary that you've stayed subjective and pointed at the facts of natural behaviour of the different sexes. i always communicate with my man on a objective way in combination with own perspectives. I always try to point on the fact that every feeling that i experience, is something he can't feel when i don't express it or don't communicate about. every human being has it's own way of feeling and expressing itself. woman and man are different and when you put effort in someone then you always have to beware of the fact that you two are different from eachother. not just in person, also in a biological way and the way patrick explains how man deal with emotions is so accurate..... i've noticed that man really function like that and i hope woman can be true to themselves and don't expect anything. Love yourself and put your principals at first and when you put effort in a man, please always remember that he is someone you want to appreciate and love for who he is.. especially his natural-biological-instinctive behaviour. when you accept that and can be open in a non-judgemental way.. you will have a very healthy relationship. don't let your life depend on a man (because you love him)... no.. you only truly love him when you can truly accept him for who he is as a man and the true balance finds within. acceptance towards each other and then affection and true intentions will naturally take form.
Hi Sir Ryan! Been watching your videos during these quarantine period. 😊 I'm not really good at understanding men before but now, Im slowly learning. And these tips that you are providing are helping me a lot! Thank you so much! Hope to see more videos from you. Regards to your beautiful wife, Britney. She is sooo adorable 😊💕 God bless you more! -Jez,28,single mom, from PH 04.28.2020
I love to binge every video you have even if I'm not in the situation because I want to learn and gain all the knowledge as possible about how to be the perfect woman for my future man and how he thinks. I have recommended you to my Mom even though my parents have been married 31 years but she doesn't often understand Dad and I notice she's hurting his pride and putting Dad down without realizing it 😔. Could you do a video about marriage specifically how to strengthen it? My Mom really doesn't understand how my Dad feels often. I know you could help her cause you've been helping me with this guy I'm going on a first date with after knowing him for 4 months. Thank you for helping us women out God bless you and your wife Brittany 😊 💗
This video was very insightful, thank you! I always got very emotional and upset whenever my ex bf talked about his negative feelings, which made it very difficult for him to share his feelings because he became scared of my reaction... I wish I had seen this video earlier! I'm definitely working on becoming a cool, clear, calm communicator in the future haha
Emotionally I couldn't stay he wouldnt show constancy he would say he loved me wanted to be with me. And didnt want to agure but he wouldnt listen to me. It seemed like no mater what I did he wouldnt take my feelings into consideration.
Ryan pls could you start doing videos for men too? A lot of them are clueless about women. Pls don't say there are enough women doing that. There is a down to earth humorous perspective you bring to the table that men could definitely benefit from...
Thanks Debi. I used to coach men, but I don’t anymore, specifically, due to a variety of reasons. Although there are actually quite a bit of men on this channel who seem to enjoy this content too 👌🏼
My boyfriend became emotionally distant about 6 days ago, we had gotten into a fight over washing out a bowl of lettuce and i found myself lashing out at him because he started the fight over something so small. I yelled, I screamed, and I called him worthless- which we have had talks about. I just can't stop myself from lashing out and insulting him. And it caused him to become emotionally distant. But this time, when I got calm, and talked it out with him, he didn't go back to normal, he finally stopped forgiving my actions. And I wish I could have stopped myself, and became accountable for myself, calmed myself down, and stopped the insults during that first fight. But instead my brain always went back to the mentality of "He hurt me, he started something and caused me to react angrily, so I need to show him how he hurt me- by hurting him back". And dear god I wish I could beat this part of my brain to a pulp because I never wanted to hurt him, truly. I love him so much. But he moved out and left me on my own in a house I can't afford, and he hasn't talked to me since. And I am the only one to blame because I couldn't become accountable for myself. It hurts so much more than anything that has ever happened to me because he left without a word, just said he was going for a drive and never came back. Don't be like me. Level out before you speak, don't let your words spoken out of rage or just outright emotional trauma become the thing that ends your potentially healthy and long relationship.
I love the part of the video when you talk about staying calm and played the music in the background. I laughed aloud. That was great. Good information on this one.
Hi Ryan, I'm new to watching your videos. My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me just a few days ago and your video on how to tell if someone is bad for you was right on the money. This one, however, makes me think of when my ex and I would have conflict, he would get super angry/defensive, and I would take the calm approach or say that I needed a few minutes to calm down before I could speak (I didn't want to speak out of anger and say anything hurtful) while he would bombard me with criticism and judgemental statements. Unfortunately, he felt that I simply didn't care if I wasn't showing any emotional reaction. He often used to storm out when angry and later said that he was sad that I didn't go after him or drive to his place with ice cream and snacks to make up. He was bad at communicating and it often felt like issues only got addressed and resolved if I was initiating the "let's talk about this and work it out" conversations. Would love to hear your thoughts on this.
So I have a situation here. There's this guy who used to be very interested and invested in our friendship and I thought it was going somewhere. Yet along the way, nothing really happened, but he started to grow very distant. We are still just friends and I believe he still trusts me enough to confide in me, but there's no chance that we could ever become more at this point. And I don't understand why. How does a guy go from liking you and always wanting you around to not texting in a matter of weeks? And if he does, should we do something to fix it?
I’m in the same boat. Started as friends then he saw someone and then they broke up and he came and popped up in my life interacted with all my insta feeds texted me saved pics of my story and joked around flitted had a first date and asked if I was open to dating. Cuddled he initiated a kiss. Then couple days later he acted wired I asked and he said he was not ready for romance but kissed me cause he wanted to show I was hot and me not to lose interest..so why do all that and say you’re not ready? Then he was on some hookup app. So geesh no relationship or sex lol? So confused but he texts me still daily as friends but earlier today he left me on read
@@atlation don't let him play with your feelings. Block him entirely and thoroughly. If he tries in the future to contact you, beware of his possible manipulation
Caught my boyfriend text. He got so mad and angry. He wants space now. I don’t know what to do. 😭😭😭.I just love him so much. He tell me if I love him leave him along if he comes back then is mine. Is that fair? he said he don’t know his feelings for me and don’t feel the same.. Please help. I want him back in my life.
What with a guy that you're in a relationship with, makes plans with you for the next couple of weeks where he suggests things himself and then suddenly breaks it off a week later? Still confused about all of this
I think some do this instead of just saying " I'm not interested, had a change of heart, seeing someone else..." etc. I know its so messed up. Cowardly. It's meant to put a woman off without them saying the words lol
Wow thank you Ryan this video was SO helpful!! I really appreciate your videos I feel that you really do a good job putting everything into perspective. I also like how you’re not biased towards one sex. Thanks so much!
Excellent video Ryan. It will help me communicate better for a future relationship. I recently experienced the worst relationship with a man that constantly cheated I’m all out of chances so I’m gearing myself up for a healthy beautiful relationship
Hello Ryan, Thank you for this video and the information you covered. Very informative and opened my eyes on a few things. I recently finally ended my two year relationship with who I thought was the man of my dreams but who, in reality, turned out to be a lying narcissistic thief. The relationship completely transformed me from a woman who was finally coming into her own {age 41} into a thing that was unrecognizable and at her wits end. His 15 year old son was walking home with friends when he was struck and killed by a drunk driver almost three years ago I believe hence why I stayed as long as I did with the amount of BS I put up with. I made excuses for him and plus I allowed myself to open up, trust him and ultimately love him. He said he loved me too but now I think it was all just smoke up my behind. So sad. So damn sad. He had a tendency to ghost me after so long. Every time it would just destroy me inside. He and I would get back together eventually but it would happen again. Until this last time.... Something inside me told me to make a list of everything he did or didnt do that would ultimately hurt my feelings or make me question his motives. It was a loooooooooooooooooooooong list. After reading and re-reading the list for a few days a voice in my heart spoke, "You dont have to feel this way." I was making a choice to remain in the head/heart space with him as my life line..... WHAT???? What happened to the woman from two years ago? I completely lost myself. I looked into the mirror and saw someone I didn't recognize. I had gained so much weight and stopped taking care of myself. I hated myself and there was no way in hell I was going to accept that as my fate. He had once again ghosted and once again my mind went crazy with wild ideas all of which were not good. Racing racing racing...... Enough. I could feel at that moment my heart. What I felt for him for the past two years, gone. I knew deep down I deserved better. I didnt do anything to deserve his crap except stay and make excuses for it far too long. His last words to me were "You'll never get to speak to me again!!" Promise?
Another quality video, Love it! Thank you so much for making this video. Ryan, would you please made a video and share with some why some men are so guarded? Thank you so so much in advance!!
My fiancé and I broke up six weeks ago. We had problems in communication (LDR) At the beginning, he was always chasing for me, but then distance made things complicated. He lost his job and we had to pospone our wedding. He went into a deep depression because he couldn’t find a job, so he started closing more and more. He broke up with me telling me “we have been having a lot of drama lately and things just didn’t work out. You’re a great woman, but things just didn’t work out. It’s my fault. I rushed things and it screw everything”. After that, three days after he broke up with me, he started texting me again as it nothing happened. I told him that it felt great to hear from him, but that it was just to painful to talk with him. He told me I was right, wished me the best, apologized again for breaking up, and told me he’d always be there for me and that I’m a great woman. Ever since, we were in NC for five weeks. I’ve been working on self improvement. He texted me out of the blue on January 1st, wished me a happy new year, that I’m a great woman and wished me the best. I replied that I was feeling much better and told him about the improvement I’ve been doing on myself. He said he was so happy to hear that I’m in a much better position, and to hear from me. We chatted a little bit and I felt so happy! I miss him so much! But now, out of the blue, he’s posting bitter things on Facebook relationship related. I’m so confused. Should I go on NC again? I’d so appreciate some advise! Thank you so much in advance
Oh man... I'm sorry so to hear about this split, Moon Child 🙁Based on what you've told me about the situation and this guy, I feel this split may have been a blessing in disguise for you. There's just something about him that sounds "off," at least right now from a distance. He could be dealing with some serious mental health issues (ie. the depression you mentioned or even bipolar disorder). The *hotness* (i.e. he wants to get married; put the blame on himself for things not working out) and then *coldness* (i.e. shut down the wedding because of "drama"; then essentially blasts your relationship on Facebook) he's giving you is your biggest indicator he may have not been the one for you. I might back off of communication and continue on that path to the healing you initially started for yourself before he re-emerged again. Tell him you need YOUR time now and to have a happy 2020. Meanwhile, time to rebuild and focus on yourself... 😉
*NEW SUMMER 2024*
I now offer self-guided *online courses* to help women of ANY age and experience level CRUSH those single streets FASTER and more efficiently! 🙂
Check out my course offerings here 👉 www.boyfriendblueprint.com/courses
wow, that's a LOT of responsibility on women to do ALL the relationship work. Why should we accept reluctant who never put in the work to learn and communicate? Because lady parts somehow make us Mother Theresa? Ladies - there are other guys out there that are not this emotionally crippled, you don't have to stay in a relationship that revolves entirely around his inner wounds and needs, wondering what on earth else you could do to stroke his fragile ego just the right way :D
I’m so sick of these types. So many in my ethnic community.
So true.....sigh
They're so freaking annoying!!! probably narcissist. I'm gonna need therapy.
couldn't agree more!
True. This video seems a bit codependent to me. Be patient when he screams at you? Seriously? I don't think we should be taught to accept more crap.
He’ll definitely remember my soft gaze and calmness, because that means I’m completely done and out.
Emotionally distant men can come around. It's not a hopeless cause, even tho it might feel like it sometimes 🙂
Emotionally unavailable men with fears of relationship can go to hell.
Respect you
Yes queen 👸
😂 omg
You can’t sacrifice your happiness for a man with mommy issues and doesn’t know what they want. Amazing how these men expect women to be responsible for their own behavior. If you’re not mature enough to be in a relationship then stay single. Grow up or stay with mommy.
Right On!
What Everrr 👍👊✌
Amen. I raised a man and I'm not looking to raise anybody else's male child to be a man I don't need a little boy that wasn't raised to be a man by his mommy its not my job and I'm not responsible for the fact that his mommy failed him. I've got to many other things that I need to do.
I needed to hear this right now omg
Oh my God I'm laughing so much... ur comment is hilarious.... 🤣😂
Our soft nature gets fed up. That is just the truth after a while.
If a man doesn't want to be around you and he doesn't want to stick to you like glue it's best to leave him alone he is not the man for you if he doesn't care for you or show interest in whom you are as person just keep it moving because he's a waste of your time. Just work on being your best self until the right man comes alone that's right for you
Aww this is my current situation. Thank You for your message. 😊
Your walk away too fast over flaws in a man you will live & die alone! No one is perfect
I never made a scene in a relationship. In my 20's I discussed reasonably. Today in my 30's I no longer discuss - I wait silently till he wants to talk. If I want something from him, I can put that in two sweet sentences. Using as few words as possible. The less words - the more he actually listens. And if he with draws emotionally I do the exact same till he finally remembers I exist. Good thing, I have great friends for emotional support, 3 jobs and lots of passions and hobbies.
Nymphe Echo best comment ever !! Best advice ever!!
Nymphe Echo can I ask why do you need a man then? I would be awesome on my own if I were you, that’s what I aspire to get to:)
sounds like a miserable relationship.. why do you put up with that, sad
@@kittime3807 I totally agree! what are you doing acting like his mother. Yuck. Walk away while you can.
I have to tell you this but that's not OK. You're just letting him be passive aggressive against you and stonewall you till he feels like he remembers you exist! WTH! Get out now. you sound like the mother of a teenager. I'm a mother I'm guessing you arent. Believe me when you have kids you wont want a grown up one to care for as well. You need a man who steps up and acts like a MAN.
When I was married I keep my voice calm while my future Ex flew off the handle for drama he created from nothing. It often calmed him down to realize I wasn't buying into his drama. So even with toxic people it does work. I was so relieved when I walked away. My health improved too.
I knew a psycho like that. He harbored a lot of anger towards his mom and it came out in rude remarks all day long. I got tired of taking so much sh$# and broke it off. He was shocked because he was happy in the relationship. NOT ME.
"He he calling you first , setting up dates, he is pursuing you " the emotionally unavailable men will fall out quickly not wanting to invest .
that last one is so true!!
Totally!!
I did that. I literally gave up him. Then he set up dates. Worse, he asked me to go to his place and ask me not to hold back. I said that was too much. So we decided to go for a drive. He then was sweet. I got excited. He then became distant. Now I'm not sure whether I d change my plan tommorrow. I am afraid to make a mistake with someone emotionally unavailable, which is never my track record. What a mess.
Sadly, I dnt really want to make it better anymore.
Honestly, sometimes it’s simply not worth the effort...and that’s OK! But, you only get so much time on this planet, so how can you begin reclaiming your energy and time and wield it into something that really fires you up when you wake up in the morning? 🔥🔥
@@datingcoachryanpatrick thank you for the advice. I greatly appreciate it. 👍🏽
You guys are too high maintenance, I think I’d rather just have a cat.
hahaha..I like that
It’s easier to give a cat affection than it is to give a man affection.
I have a bearded dragon and he's very cute and appreciative
Wow, I guess if men put in as much work as this guy wants us to, the divorce rate would be 0. 😂 lol
Me too.. I need 🐈
Keeping that level state is so spot on, your partner will gain so much respect for you and open up so much faster & more fully.
Amen! 🙌🏼
Very good advice! A guy I'm dating was really late for a date (2 hours). He did let me know in advance. I remained calm. When he finally showed up, I didn't blow up at him or anything. Simply calmly stated "what happened?" and he explained everything and all was good. He doesn't arrive late anymore!
I'm glad he at least had the decency to reach out to you in advance... and that he hasn't done it again! Lol 😄
Eeeeeeeh I just want to be my self , take it or leave it
But what about being yourself has to do with his emotional distance, Miss Taurus?
@@datingcoachryanpatrick find someone who won't distance themselves.
Dated this one girl who “wasn’t sure about us” every couple weeks. Instead of pulling away, I told her that we’re both adults and that it was unnecessary emotional labor to do so.
It is extremely toxic to abandon a partner without a conversation, the same way it is toxic to tantrum and force your partner to “fight” for you whenever you feel insecure, instead of having an adult conversation.
Exactly.
Amen ! My ex was like that, he would get distant, unsure and I would tantrum like you said to make him react. It was toxic.
It was my first relationship and I regret behaving like this but at least I’ve learned what not to do. I Think the best thing is to talk about it and if they don’t want to just leave and cut your losses
Seriously. I got to the point of no longer giving any lengthy expressions of feelings or what his distance and detachment does. Now, I just say this isn't what I wanted, so I'm out and you just do you without me. If someone wants you and wants you around, they would make it known. No one should have to stick around at the expense of their own sanity and feelings while another can't handle their own in a mature and communicative way.
No it is not toxic to leave without a conversation when they never wanted to talk about anything that you were unhappy with before you left. They can suck it!
@@Terra_inthe406 I agree. I meant that ghosting is immature, not that your partner is entitled to make you answer to them.
Emotionally distant man is just not into you, tired of finding the right one
Yeah sounds like more work than I'm interested in doing. I raised my son to be a man as a single mom and I'm just at the age where I'm going to walk away from these little boys in grown men's body's bc I have other things to do.
"You're creating the standard of energy that's coming into a conflict".........Amen.
🙌🏼🙌🏼
Or.... don’t do anything and leave.
I suppose that is always an option. Hopefully, your giving them an ample heads-up tho 🙂
Yes!
@@datingcoachryanpatrick Didn't they give us the heads up by them detaching and not even trying? Actions have consequences.
@@MissMcFluffyStuff exactly. Sounds silly to be asking US to give them notice lol tf
Ugh this was so painful to watch because I’m fresh out of a breakup and realize everything I did wrong. But I’m learning so much. 🙏🏼
Being in a relationship is akin to having to manipulate a not very bright child
LOL
@@michaelatorn8380 indeed sir
When a man screams, it activates the "danger alarm" in a woman's body. The main reason she is silent in such circumstances is because she is extremely stressed. In history, people died when men got angry. It takes a lot of self control and awareness for a woman to keep calm and detached when a man screams.
But it is certainly something she can attain 100% 🙌🏼
@@datingcoachryanpatrick It is possible but much more difficult that it is for men to stay calm and serene. If you have time, check out for Beyond Mars and Venus, by John Gray to find the scientific explanations.
Maybe it depends on if he is yelling at you and making it personal and yelling about something. If someone makes the argument personal, I'm walking away.
Agreed, I've had an abused past so I am terrified when he gets angry
5.5 years into marriage and my husband who had adored me became emotionally distant during my 2nd pregnancy and never returned. Almost two years later it's never returned. I went from I'll always work to wanting to stay home and homeschool and work 2 days a week. I've returned to working 40 to 60 hours a week but he never "came back" emotionally 😔 he stiffens when I hug him. I don't do those thing you talk about. He always made me happy. I always tried to smile when he came home. I always said I was happy but he couldn't handle my changes as a mom.
I'm really grateful for your videos ❤️
Today I decided I'm gonna build back my self-confidence and don't let anyone abuse my kindness.
I didn't have a dad to advice me things kind of things. Thank you very much for your advices!
I'm the one bouncing off the walls not him. He stays calm and eventually I come back down to his level. Thanks to Ryan I'm learning and remembering to control my bounciness
I’ve noticed if you do stay calm in arguments you end up leaving with your dignity instead of showing your whole ass great advice
Good video! I’m guilty of this, lashing out emotionally. Entrainment, I’ll work on that. Along with breathing and taking a step back when my feelings get hurt.
Thank you
It takes some practice, but having that sense of control over your emotions is *amazing* and well worth it!
I'm so proud of you Ryan 😊 when I subscribed last year you we're just in less than 1k... Now... Omg!!! More and more power! Yup, everything I learned from your videos are very effective, especially all the best techniques you share. Thank you so much!
Yay! Thanks Carina for checking back with the channel! YES, the growth has been *very* exciting 😀 And I so appreciate you being there in the very beginning...thanks for subscribing! Should be an interesting year 😄
I hear you. But him screaming and going crazy all the time while you remain constantly calm and neutral takes a lot of effort, and after a while, it's draining, and you start to feel like an emotional dumping ground. It's like only one person is allowed to feel frustration, or any kind of strong emotion, etc. And it's not me. God bless his new girlfriend.
💯
Well, I don't know if this is what Ryan meant, but What I believe is that this advice and this mindset will work logistically with men who are not mentally ill and who are sober from drugs or alcohol at the time of the conflict resolution. Anyone?
I think some women need to hear this because a lot of the times we’re like this and they listen for & wait for us to calm down but then we don’t return that favor the same way.
So true
There's also the situation where he interrogates you or accuses of something ridiculous and gets you to lose your temper, then points out how irrational you are when you explode.
Men (and myself) are becoming less of a mystery thanks to videos like this. Learning so much. Thank you!
So happy to hear that, Carol! 🙌🏼
Emotionally detached men is reason why I have high standards. It helps me alot cus I love my high standards more than my freedom.
Mine get mad or dumb things then ignores me for days then comes bck and acts like nothing !. It’s emotional draining
Here I am 74 years of dealing with men, and now I'm seeing a 40 year old. I admit that our relationship is mostly sexual, still I need him emotionally as well. He pursued me at first and now he is distant, until we get together. I'm too old to not know what's going on in the relationship. I just want him to know it and don't know how to tell him and keep his interest in me.
I hate to tell you but you are in for a big let down, so be prepared
This is actually a good video! I finally realize that he’s not emotionally unavailable he’s just distant and shy. I always felt like he was waiting for me to lead the way. I feel better now about my relationship. Most videos make me hate him but this one really hit my specific issues !
I wonder if you could do a video on HOW to effectively communicate when personal buttons are being pushed?
“Happy 2020” Is that a joke?
😆😆
Lmao 2020 am I a joke to you? 😂
Right!
It keeps on coming boys
A complicated but much needed message, needs to be repeated and elaborated. Strong work, Ryan.
I needed this, thank u. Ofc . men should do their part too , but its good to hear what to do . If a man and a woman loves eachother unconditionally, they will solve their problems. Good, selfless communication is the key!
He become emotionally distant to me because I done something that made him super upset and even I humble myself and I apologised to him and change myself, he still emotionally distant to me for 4 months already. But he told me he is contented to have relationship with me even we don't have often communication and told me that way he has peace of mind.
Made me so stress and anxiety.
Honestly he sounds like he plays games and is not worth your time
That means he got you girl, always keep up a mind set and attitude that you’re ready to leave, otherwise you’re going to have that heart achy breaky
@@pastrybear131 yah...He is DA and I am AP that time. Now i am ok. I am SA now.
Great video! You made me laugh at some point, thank you so much. Dealing with an emotional distant man right now, he’s on divorce process! So you can imagine! I’ll try to keep calm 😓😓😓
I would like maybe a possible video of someone a man professing his feelings and making them clear you are exclusive. But then suddenly stop communicating, is it because there scared?
Either that or they were game playing. Sometimes all it is to them is a game. Once they know they have you hooked they disappear.
His right on about how men align female conflict with their mothers. About 'looking to her for the road back out of an emotional situation,' women should do this in a way that is not patronizing, authoritative or dismissive. And we should not see you doing this either. Do it because it's you're strong suit and you love him, in the same way you want him to lead you without rubbing your face in it. Good stuff here for women, imho. Cheers.
Thank you for that of vote of confidence in the information, Mickey Cruise 😌
This explains so much! Thanks, Ryan, for breaking down what men are going through in arguments.
Yeah I'm thinking my guy was just emotionally unavailable. Besides who the hell wants a 50 year old man who still has his mother cook and clean for him....yes this was the last person I dated.
Wish I had this video before I let my emotions take over and chew him out... Lost him forever because of it and kicking myself for losing a good thing. Thank you for the future knowledge either way.
Emotions getting the better of us in something I think we can *all* relate to. It's a part of the human condition. Just because one good thing may have passed certainly doesn't mean that more good things aren't in store for you. Keep your head up 😉
Ryan Patrick so in relation to the comment above, is one disagreement (or perceived) truly enough to make someone leave? Or is this just an example of the person’s inability to communicate/express emotions? And if a particular conversation with an emotionally insecure person does end up in misunderstanding and that person shutting down, how do you go about making amends?
So happy to see your channel grow sending love❤️
Thank you so much! 🙂 Happy New Year to you
Ryan Patrick Merci you too Ryan 🙏🏿
I love it “ the guy needs to go find his channel and work on his stuff” 🤣
And then he proceeds to tell women how to fix the guys' stuff.
Lol, we can do it)) but why bother
Thank you for this video. It made me understand what I did wrong just recently. I now see why he went away in hiding.
Thank you. Thank you. I keep coming back to this video. Men also have suffered Trauma in their Family of Origin...and yes, as humans, they become frightened inside when their buttons are pushed too. Thank you for your positive and calming advice. I also love your constant message of working on oneself to be a whole, healed vital individual. Thank you for your insights Ryan!
I love that I get to hear this from a man's perspective honestly. It is not common to hear from a man's perspective.
Love to hear a guy's perspective. It really helps
Would Love to know when You're doing another UA-cam live. I'm new to the dating field after 22 yrs of marriage. I'm learning alot! Your videos are Great!
Good question! Probably once the quarantine lifts and my wife and I aren't working from the same space, so hopefully that's soon! 👍🏼
All these videos can b summed up into one neat package. If you have any doubt from day one , leave quickly so you dont end up watching all these videos. Chances are if you are here watching these videos u have already invested too much time in a guy who doesnt care about u
I wish I had watched this 2 weeks ago. I blocked him because of wishy washy behaviour and not following through on plans, not calling when he said he would, and verbally abusing me. I lost my s#@&.
Missing a HUGE one…if they lost a job, lost someone, feels inadequate or sad in any way. I know when men are depressed they pull back and are not going to be very open with feelings-just let him know you are there but give him space and time.
I dont wanna be calm Ryan 🤣
Ryan, your relationship videos are excellent. You give so much information.
Makes alot of sense.
Women used to look up to men and respect them.
Most have become cynical due to stress.
Working, single, dating sites.
I agree 100% with what you say to women.
Women have lost their femininity.
Men still want women they can talk to and trust.
I’m a nurse & in Psych rotation they taught us to speak softy & slowly the more someone is triggered
Your candor is appreciated.
You bet! 🙂
Love this video! I've learned what it's like for the man to feel being in the midst of a distant and unavailable woman, which I realized am playing that part. Love your series and look forward to the live segment!
Wow, pretty amazing stuff, Ryan. Your explanation is right on.
Thanks Ryan! This is really helpful to know about this, the way you break everything down about what might be some of the reasons why men and women have communication breakdowns and emotional detachments and defense mechanisms in relationships is really eye opening. Thanks so much for your amazing videos and helping Men and women to understand each other better and have accountability and relationship conflict management skills, you are a real Gem in the UA-cam community! :)
Thanks so much Seattle Red! I honestly wasn't sure how this particular video was going to go over with the group, but you read my intention behind it perfectly!! Really appreciate you watching these videos and recognizing that I am *definitely* trying to bridge that communication/energy gap between us guys and you gals 🙂🙂Happy New Year!!
@@datingcoachryanpatrick you too! Happy new year and I look forward to seeing more of your videos uploaded this year.
Hi Ryan, I recently just started watching your youtube videos. Your animations crack me up and I find your advice spot on. I am an older women and my brain can only absorb so much dating coach advice. Being recently widowed, I have been very discouraged by dating sites, knowing that men and women jump from person to person and ghost - taking a big break right now to restore a positive mindset and my energy,! I’ve learned some tactics to weed out scammers and I love the coaches that get right to the point, which you do. Just wanted you to know you’re
appreciated! Marti
Yes, I have brought to his attention that I'm not pleased with his inconsistency. He doesn't make me feel a priority, not keeping his word .
I used "I feel" statements . Still , too sensitive!
This is the greatest video. It made me laugh and empowered me. Good job Ryan!
Glad to hear, South Florida! 😄
Well, that aplies more to me!! I'm the one that cant be emotional available because the man gets defensive or judgmental or just mean, so I totally understand men... and definitely applies to women as well..
You've explaind it in such a brilliant and realistic way. It's very neccesary that you've stayed subjective and pointed at the facts of natural behaviour of the different sexes. i always communicate with my man on a objective way in combination with own perspectives. I always try to point on the fact that every feeling that i experience, is something he can't feel when i don't express it or don't communicate about. every human being has it's own way of feeling and expressing itself. woman and man are different and when you put effort in someone then you always have to beware of the fact that you two are different from eachother. not just in person, also in a biological way and the way patrick explains how man deal with emotions is so accurate..... i've noticed that man really function like that and i hope woman can be true to themselves and don't expect anything. Love yourself and put your principals at first and when you put effort in a man, please always remember that he is someone you want to appreciate and love for who he is.. especially his natural-biological-instinctive behaviour. when you accept that and can be open in a non-judgemental way.. you will have a very healthy relationship. don't let your life depend on a man (because you love him)... no.. you only truly love him when you can truly accept him for who he is as a man and the true balance finds within. acceptance towards each other and then affection and true intentions will naturally take form.
Ryan you are Awesome.. Sorry you had to deal with a Narcissist growing up 🙏
Thanks Cc! It made me stronger! Thanks for your kind words 🙂
Brilliant. I'm a coach and neuro therapist. Very well done.
Oh my gosh!!! This is SO good!!!!
Thank you Amanda!!
Thank you for explaining the man’s side. I get very upset at him and he closes up.
Hi Sir Ryan! Been watching your videos during these quarantine period. 😊 I'm not really good at understanding men before but now, Im slowly learning. And these tips that you are providing are helping me a lot! Thank you so much! Hope to see more videos from you. Regards to your beautiful wife, Britney. She is sooo adorable 😊💕 God bless you more!
-Jez,28,single mom, from PH
04.28.2020
I love to binge every video you have even if I'm not in the situation because I want to learn and gain all the knowledge as possible about how to be the perfect woman for my future man and how he thinks. I have recommended you to my Mom even though my parents have been married 31 years but she doesn't often understand Dad and I notice she's hurting his pride and putting Dad down without realizing it 😔. Could you do a video about marriage specifically how to strengthen it? My Mom really doesn't understand how my Dad feels often. I know you could help her cause you've been helping me with this guy I'm going on a first date with after knowing him for 4 months. Thank you for helping us women out God bless you and your wife Brittany 😊 💗
This video was very insightful, thank you! I always got very emotional and upset whenever my ex bf talked about his negative feelings, which made it very difficult for him to share his feelings because he became scared of my reaction... I wish I had seen this video earlier! I'm definitely working on becoming a cool, clear, calm communicator in the future haha
Emotionally I couldn't stay he wouldnt show constancy he would say he loved me wanted to be with me. And didnt want to agure but he wouldnt listen to me. It seemed like no mater what I did he wouldnt take my feelings into consideration.
I would like to hear the advice for this because my boyfriend is the same but he investing in me in material
This was what i needed to hear thanks
Sure thing, Eriadna! Thanks for watching 🙂
Ryan pls could you start doing videos for men too? A lot of them are clueless about women. Pls don't say there are enough women doing that. There is a down to earth humorous perspective you bring to the table that men could definitely benefit from...
Thanks Debi. I used to coach men, but I don’t anymore, specifically, due to a variety of reasons. Although there are actually quite a bit of men on this channel who seem to enjoy this content too 👌🏼
My boyfriend became emotionally distant about 6 days ago, we had gotten into a fight over washing out a bowl of lettuce and i found myself lashing out at him because he started the fight over something so small. I yelled, I screamed, and I called him worthless- which we have had talks about. I just can't stop myself from lashing out and insulting him. And it caused him to become emotionally distant. But this time, when I got calm, and talked it out with him, he didn't go back to normal, he finally stopped forgiving my actions. And I wish I could have stopped myself, and became accountable for myself, calmed myself down, and stopped the insults during that first fight. But instead my brain always went back to the mentality of "He hurt me, he started something and caused me to react angrily, so I need to show him how he hurt me- by hurting him back". And dear god I wish I could beat this part of my brain to a pulp because I never wanted to hurt him, truly. I love him so much. But he moved out and left me on my own in a house I can't afford, and he hasn't talked to me since. And I am the only one to blame because I couldn't become accountable for myself. It hurts so much more than anything that has ever happened to me because he left without a word, just said he was going for a drive and never came back. Don't be like me. Level out before you speak, don't let your words spoken out of rage or just outright emotional trauma become the thing that ends your potentially healthy and long relationship.
Exactly what I was looking for. Thank you. You rock Ryan.
This is amazing 👌💕 thank you so much for sharing your perspective on a man's point-of-view. 🙏💯
I love the part of the video when you talk about staying calm and played the music in the background. I laughed aloud. That was great. Good information on this one.
Hi Ryan, I'm new to watching your videos. My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me just a few days ago and your video on how to tell if someone is bad for you was right on the money. This one, however, makes me think of when my ex and I would have conflict, he would get super angry/defensive, and I would take the calm approach or say that I needed a few minutes to calm down before I could speak (I didn't want to speak out of anger and say anything hurtful) while he would bombard me with criticism and judgemental statements. Unfortunately, he felt that I simply didn't care if I wasn't showing any emotional reaction. He often used to storm out when angry and later said that he was sad that I didn't go after him or drive to his place with ice cream and snacks to make up. He was bad at communicating and it often felt like issues only got addressed and resolved if I was initiating the "let's talk about this and work it out" conversations. Would love to hear your thoughts on this.
I really enjoy watching your videos. I watched a lot of them this morning.
So I have a situation here. There's this guy who used to be very interested and invested in our friendship and I thought it was going somewhere. Yet along the way, nothing really happened, but he started to grow very distant. We are still just friends and I believe he still trusts me enough to confide in me, but there's no chance that we could ever become more at this point. And I don't understand why. How does a guy go from liking you and always wanting you around to not texting in a matter of weeks? And if he does, should we do something to fix it?
Crystal DeNiro I’ll never understand either. The silent treatment kills me
I’m in the same boat. Started as friends then he saw someone and then they broke up and he came and popped up in my life interacted with all my insta feeds texted me saved pics of my story and joked around flitted had a first date and asked if I was open to dating. Cuddled he initiated a kiss. Then couple days later he acted wired I asked and he said he was not ready for romance but kissed me cause he wanted to show I was hot and me not to lose interest..so why do all that and say you’re not ready? Then he was on some hookup app. So geesh no relationship or sex lol? So confused but he texts me still daily as friends but earlier today he left me on read
@@atlation he was on rebound
@@atlation don't let him play with your feelings. Block him entirely and thoroughly. If he tries in the future to contact you, beware of his possible manipulation
Caught my boyfriend text. He got so mad and angry. He wants space now. I don’t know what to do. 😭😭😭.I just love him so much. He tell me if I love him leave him along if he comes back then is mine. Is that fair? he said he don’t know his feelings for me and don’t feel the same.. Please help. I want him back in my life.
What with a guy that you're in a relationship with, makes plans with you for the next couple of weeks where he suggests things himself and then suddenly breaks it off a week later? Still confused about all of this
I think some do this instead of just saying " I'm not interested, had a change of heart, seeing someone else..." etc.
I know its so messed up. Cowardly. It's meant to put a woman off without them saying the words lol
Wow thank you Ryan this video was SO helpful!! I really appreciate your videos I feel that you really do a good job putting everything into perspective. I also like how you’re not biased towards one sex. Thanks so much!
Ryan I hope everything is ok with you! May God guide you and your family and protect you health! God blessed you
You deserve way more followers. Thank u
Thanks Claudia! Appreciate you checking out my channel 🙂
Excellent video Ryan. It will help me communicate better for a future relationship. I recently experienced the worst relationship with a man that constantly cheated I’m all out of chances so I’m gearing myself up for a healthy beautiful relationship
That was amazing. I love the way you explain things...hope to attend your live lecture someday 😍
This one is a RP classic, very helpful in a real way! Really appreciate it. Much love!! ... entrainment you say? Lord help me!!
Hello Ryan,
Thank you for this video and the information you covered. Very informative and opened my eyes on a few things. I recently finally ended my two year relationship with who I thought was the man of my dreams but who, in reality, turned out to be a lying narcissistic thief. The relationship completely transformed me from a woman who was finally coming into her own {age 41} into a thing that was unrecognizable and at her wits end. His 15 year old son was walking home with friends when he was struck and killed by a drunk driver almost three years ago I believe hence why I stayed as long as I did with the amount of BS I put up with. I made excuses for him and plus I allowed myself to open up, trust him and ultimately love him. He said he loved me too but now I think it was all just smoke up my behind. So sad. So damn sad. He had a tendency to ghost me after so long. Every time it would just destroy me inside. He and I would get back together eventually but it would happen again. Until this last time.... Something inside me told me to make a list of everything he did or didnt do that would ultimately hurt my feelings or make me question his motives. It was a loooooooooooooooooooooong list. After reading and re-reading the list for a few days a voice in my heart spoke, "You dont have to feel this way."
I was making a choice to remain in the head/heart space with him as my life line..... WHAT????
What happened to the woman from two years ago? I completely lost myself. I looked into the mirror and saw someone I didn't recognize. I had gained so much weight and stopped taking care of myself. I hated myself and there was no way in hell I was going to accept that as my fate. He had once again ghosted and once again my mind went crazy with wild ideas all of which were not good. Racing racing racing...... Enough.
I could feel at that moment my heart. What I felt for him for the past two years, gone. I knew deep down I deserved better. I didnt do anything to deserve his crap except stay and make excuses for it far too long. His last words to me were "You'll never get to speak to me again!!"
Promise?
Sometimes when he's yelling and bouncing around, calmness is the last thing I'm feeling. I wanna smack him! 🤣
Ryan, all I can say is thank you so much for your video's. They help immensely. You're so smart. It doesn't hurt that you're pretty cute too! lol
Another quality video, Love it! Thank you so much for making this video. Ryan, would you please made a video and share with some why some men are so guarded? Thank you so so much in advance!!
X W would love this topic, also.
I love it when Ryan says "next " 😅
My fiancé and I broke up six weeks ago. We had problems in communication (LDR) At the beginning, he was always chasing for me, but then distance made things complicated. He lost his job and we had to pospone our wedding. He went into a deep depression because he couldn’t find a job, so he started closing more and more. He broke up with me telling me “we have been having a lot of drama lately and things just didn’t work out. You’re a great woman, but things just didn’t work out. It’s my fault. I rushed things and it screw everything”. After that, three days after he broke up with me, he started texting me again as it nothing happened. I told him that it felt great to hear from him, but that it was just to painful to talk with him. He told me I was right, wished me the best, apologized again for breaking up, and told me he’d always be there for me and that I’m a great woman. Ever since, we were in NC for five weeks. I’ve been working on self improvement. He texted me out of the blue on January 1st, wished me a happy new year, that I’m a great woman and wished me the best. I replied that I was feeling much better and told him about the improvement I’ve been doing on myself. He said he was so happy to hear that I’m in a much better position, and to hear from me. We chatted a little bit and I felt so happy! I miss him so much! But now, out of the blue, he’s posting bitter things on Facebook relationship related. I’m so confused. Should I go on NC again? I’d so appreciate some advise! Thank you so much in advance
Oh man... I'm sorry so to hear about this split, Moon Child 🙁Based on what you've told me about the situation and this guy, I feel this split may have been a blessing in disguise for you. There's just something about him that sounds "off," at least right now from a distance. He could be dealing with some serious mental health issues (ie. the depression you mentioned or even bipolar disorder). The *hotness* (i.e. he wants to get married; put the blame on himself for things not working out) and then *coldness* (i.e. shut down the wedding because of "drama"; then essentially blasts your relationship on Facebook) he's giving you is your biggest indicator he may have not been the one for you. I might back off of communication and continue on that path to the healing you initially started for yourself before he re-emerged again. Tell him you need YOUR time now and to have a happy 2020. Meanwhile, time to rebuild and focus on yourself... 😉
Ryan Patrick thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ryan- awesome advice. I need this this morning. I appreciate your candid message. It really hit home. Thank you