Dr. Todd's persona is fairly typical of male counsellors. The field of counselling/psychology is feminist dominated, so for the few men who still work in the field to survive they must be seen and heard to be feminist by their colleagues, must keep their voice a calm monotone, must not move hands when talking, must blame men for the problems of society, and must make female colleagues laugh without breaking persona. Its all about being seen to be "the one good man".
I've realized reactive abuse can make you look like the crazy one especially if the other person is a narcissist and remains calm. It will drive you insane.
That is so true! My ex wife would constantly accuse of of cheating with the neighbor Stephanie ( we lived in an apartment building ) cause she would come home and I’d be outside smoking and then go inside! I realize it looked shady in retrospect but after being accused already and embarrassed I did not want an argument in front of the other neighbors! She would keep on for hours and the angrier I got the more proof that was that I was cheating. I would leave at 2:00 am with a garbage bag of clothes quite often cause she kicked me out and then be accused again a week later! I never raised my hand only my voice but she would say I could call the cops and have you arrested for assault and they would believe me as she was rubbing her cheek to make it appear red! I finally left and didn’t come back she filed for divorce on abandonment even though she knew how to find me though it was the cheapest divorce cause it didn’t cost me anything more than pride and stuff! Later I found out she was diagnosed bi polar and also that she was cheating on me the whole time! Learned a lot about myself and marriage during that timeframe! Been married going on 13 years now and couldn’t be happier!
Exactly. His wife was the breadwinner, and was probably the alpha-controlling person. The problem is he should have left her years before. You can't change someone. You can only change how you react.
This is a classic example of domestic abuse which is about power and control. He was the abusive one, not allowing her out of the house and spying on her with 21 cameras. Why is it that the murdered person gets the blame?
Matt thinks we're all dumb when it's seriously obvious he killed her. No woman leaves without her phone and maybe a wallet but then bothers to cut off the security system. He's guilty as sin.
He was right about the police being dumb. They had audio recordings which they didn't bother to listen to? Even the average true crime enthusiast has more curiosity than some of these knuckleheads.
When in the history of true crime has a wife been reported missing with her purse and cell phone left at the house, and it not been the husbands fault?
@@chrisnoname2725 she was frightened to leave him in case he harmed her, and he had 21 cameras on her. The most dangerous and deadly time for a DV victim is when they try to leave. Sometimes it's safer to stay, even if it's a living hell. Please try to educate yourself on DV dynamics and statistics, because your ignorance is glaring.
@@WhirlyBird90 You’re incredibly arrogant. Stop making excuses. She left home to ho to work everyday. You’re talking pure nonsense. She could have gone anywhere else when she left home too like a police station or a shelter. There are plenty of options for women but none for men at least where I live but i am sure you have excuses for that too.
If anyone's marriage is so toxic and volatile that your minor child needs to move out, THEN MOVE WITH HER. Stop choosing other people before your children.
@@chrisnoname2725also if you don't think living with someone so abusive they're capable of murder wouldn't make you a little toxic idk what to tell you
@@R_S747 when women kill their husbands it doesn’t automatically get viewed as the killer being the toxic one. They’re often portrayed as the victim. So no the one doing the killing isn’t automatically the most toxic.
The police had AUDIO recordings BUT DID NOT LISTEN TO THEM. this in and of itself is highly suspicious and should be looked into, even if it was just do to incompetence... SMH Disgusting
people always think the cops were bribed or are corrupt, when the real answer is that they are usually just completely incompetent, and don't feel like working hard on most days.
It's more unusual for the police to actually take the time to investigate a crime than it is to have them be lazy like in this case! How many times do we see a crime where everyone says... "if the police had only (fill in the blank)!" Way too many!
I feel like we should really call a rape a rape and not suggest consent. She denied his sexual advances and seemingly only gave in when coerced. She died with GHB and semen in her body. Who’s to say this is the first time he drugged her and had sex with her body, the fact that he had GHB seems like premeditated rape to me. He clearly has a history of sexually abusing her in one way or another.
Well isn’t that what marriage means? Sex is a given and can be taken by the man? What’s the point in exchanging rings and vows of wife can deny sex? Does that mean he gets to go have sex with a single unmarried mom who is ready for sex whenever?
@@discombobbro please reread this. Consent is something u need even when married. If someone doesn’t feel like doing it, the man shouldn’t accept that and just rape her anyway? Nice, very very nice.
IMO It's a huge red flag when a man doesn't want to do anything to help support the family. His wife had the job that supported them, but he still ridiculed her and demanded more from her. Hope he appreciates his prison wife more LOL
Didn't it say he worked selling computers for a while? Also it's reasonable to assume he did housekeeping duties since she worked. This doesn't excuse murder at all but also there's implicit bias in the belief that if the woman earns a salary then the man MUST also
And housewives? Are they bad for staying home and looking after the house? They never said the house was a mess. He probably did all of the housework but he should have only done half because we keep getting told that men are bad if they don’t come home and do half regardless of whether they work more or not. If he did all of the housework then he was clearly a victim of domestic violence.
25% of the population is incapable of having a relationship with anyone. Obviously, she could’ve found someone that wouldn’t have murdered her, but I doubt she’s capable of having a healthy relationship.
So, Matt would want the world to believe that Nikki not only shut off the cameras but she also used software to delete the recording during those specific hours?? Sure, that's quite likely, said no one ever.
@@TiffWaffles thank you, your kind words mean very much to me ❤️ we have spent several years healing, and are the happiest we have ever been. He is the reason I found Dr Grande in the first place, studying that man's behavior led me here. ❤️❤️❤️
@@michelleobrien6996 being single and abstinent has been the best decision of my life ❤️ my ex the stalker was jailed twice.. and he still lurks in the shadows I'm sure, but we are all very safe now 🙏🏼 no more trackers on my car, no more hidden cameras.
Just imagine, if your choice in men was only slightly worse- you would already be dead. There are many women not here in the comments section because they've already been killed. Someone has to be the victim in the relationship- because relationships are never fair, and that's why 95% of them fail before death. Its actually rare that death does a relationship apart, but usually, that is supposed to indicate a successful relationship! The man is usually the victim. If a man cannot accept being the victim, they revolt, its systematic. As much as I think women are horrible to date, it really is a much larger risk to your life and safety to date a man.
It must be because boys are raised wrong. How pathetic must you be to resent that your wife has a (better paying) job. You should have worked harder. This husband comes across as someone who wanted to be handed everything on a plate without putting in the effort.
Maybe he's resentful, it's absolutely clear he was a piece of sh1t before the marriage to Nique. It's hard wired into us men the desire to provide. For all of human existence, certainly since civilisations the common arrangement was men being the bread winner and women responsibility is the home and family, I've even seen it with indigenous tribesmen in Siberia, both roles as important as each other. Only now we have decided that this is crap and by forced education, society is trying to switch this arrangement for 'whatever' goal, but I don't like the chances of it working. Men feel inferior and simply 'incompetent' if he is earning less than his partner, and it has been recorded many times that the women's attraction to her partner drops quite aggressively if she is out earning him. Neither are useful for long partnerships, the other reason is that there are no examples of a society structured like that that has existed for any length of time, same as with rulers, there has been some amazing female queens and rulers in general, I'm not saying women can not do these things at all, just in general i bossing's more suited to a male brain so you will get a higher consistency of decent Prime Ministers, decent is a big ask, competent enough to read into a microphone
This is just one of the reasons that even though I've been single for the past 4 years, I refuse to go online to meet someone, no matter how much I'm pressured by family and friends. Poor Nicky! RIP💔
Guilty, guilty, guilty. What a creep! If the other stories you relayed are true they are both a real piece of work, but she didn't deserve to be murdered. Thanks again, Dr. Grande! I love your analysis. And I agree with what you said about both partners being aggressive and take part in the escalation in arguments. That is what I have witnessed.
This is wrong. I had a girl friend who 3 months into dating wanted me to install an app on my phone that would allow her to see where Im at whenever she wanted. She used the excuse that shed be able to know how long it was before i got to her place after I left. After she suggested this it took about 5 days to ferment in my head I knew I needed to dump her crazy azz. Just a bad sign of things to come.
I feel that one course taught in high school should be on relationships and recognising when you are in a controlling and abusive relationship... And this goes beyond intimate relationships and extends to the relationships we have with family and friends. If these courses existed, I would have recognised that my stepfather was an abuser. People believe that if somebody isn't physically assaulting you that it doesn't constitute as abuse. Then by the time they do realise what is happening, they are in deep and can't escape.
@@TiffWaffles Thats such a good idea! And ya.. mental abuse, especially when subjected to it from birth, will shape and ruin lives. I know this all to well. I wont get into it but I struggle to be happy and at ease.. it feels impossible for me to achieve because of the abuse our borderline mother subjected us to on a daily basis. Im just wired differently because of it and its a real chore to deal with and manage throughout my life.
Secure-erasing the video the second time, after she’d been found dead is the clincher for me. He’s guilty. Maybe she turns the cameras off whenever she storms off mad, just to annoy him-who knows. Additionally stopping to secure-erase the recordings as she’s storming out seems pretty unlikely. But secure-erasing the video again after she’s dead is impossible.
No woman know how to operate a dvr and then run software to make sure the data’s of the hard drive unrecoverable. At most she would have pull the cables and that would show signs and then he run the software to delete?
Very interesting dynamic of the marriage per your opinion Dr. Grande. I was married to a man with narcissistic, controlling and used surveillance in my home, telephone and home computer. On several instances he had me followed. 18 years of being driven out of my mind. 9 years out now. I am dealing with C-PTSD, as diagnosed by two different psychiatrists. The years walking on eggshells, at least 2 instances of where I was afraid for my life. Constantly being on code red.
... " You were fortunate to get out alive", said one Psychiatrist I have seen. I still have nightmares where he exists as an evil villain. I have done CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, volunteering, counseling and medications.
Right? Who would have guessed that the guy without a job would be a jealous, crazy, controlling, violent abuser? Well, except everyone. Not victim blaming, but we all need to make better choices and stop dismissing red flags. When someone shows you who they are, believe them
@@Heathcoatman The vast majority of domestic abuse starts during pregnancy, or after a baby is brought home. Or after marriage, typically the abuser waits until you’re “locked in” to show their true colors. People are often criticized heavily for “breaking up their families”. By the time you realize the extent of the abuse, you’re in too deep
@@magnolia6968 That's rarely the case, not sure where you are getting your info....Lifetime TV? The signs are almost always there from the start, and often the guy has exs everyone knows he abused. People see their other as they want them to be, not as they are. They make excuses for his behavior, then when the abuse starts they act shocked. Unlike made for TV movies, these guys are rarely the Jekyll and Hyde you say they are. The signs are there from the start, and often these women will leave one abuser and end up with another. You cant be attracted to the bad boy then be shocked they turn out bad. I would give the same advice to men about bad women.
@@HeathcoatmanI couldn’t have said it better myself. Sometimes it takes a bit of life experience, plus a certain level of awareness to even accept the reality of it. What you said here is spot on and is not opinion, it’s fact.
being employed means you can't possibly be abusive? this has gotta be the dumbest thing i've ever heard. So a MAN (I'm guessing you just hate men) who has a well paid job and gets promotions cannot be unstable and violent. Also people also behave differently behind closed doors when compared to their professional life.
Another astute analysis, thank you Dr. Grande. RIP to Nicky. I appreciate your emphasis on the verbal aggression. Words are so powerful, they hold the power of life and death.
He was a lazy person who coerced and bullied his wife: I wonder what kind of parenting the children got from a man who was too lazy to go out to work and felt entitled to coerce his wife into doing what he wanted?
Imagine being a man who is boyfriend to an aging public figure who maybe is showing signs of dementia who then starts bragging to everyone about how she can see whom he is with in his neighboring house when using her long spy glass. Some men go through hell for awhile too when being used like only an exotic pet to own.
i think i saw this on cable and there was audio between these 2 it was toxic ! no way this was a good match . just one more reason i am single . great ep. as always btw !
They both sounded erratic. I agree in that I don't think either of them were good at being in relationships. Sometimes, it's best to live alone and just date casually. Marriage isn't for everybody.
This reminds me of the Alissa Turney case, which I wish you would cover as there have been changes this year. Alissa’s stepfather was obsessed with her, and allegedly took her life. He treated his biological daughter completely different, and ended up putting secret cameras in the house to record Alissa. He would show up randomly to her job to record her from outside. This isn’t all.
@@dakalodk maybe because there is an element of privacy invasion that is really unnerving? A person choosing to basically stalk and record someone without their permission. Yeah, the relationships are different but that is not all these cases are about. A man was obsessive and controlling over a woman because he wanted sex out of her, which is basically why Alissa’s stepfather killed her and even got rid of the recordings. And he had phone and video recordings
The house they lived in is about 20 minutes from where I am. I didn't realize the sister was his biological daughter, though. Also, you mentioned this, but he would actually take her to work and wait for her shift to be over to take her home. How anyone thought this wasn't controlling (not to mention reprehensibly psycho and stalkerish) is beyond me. How long it took for these charges to be brought also blows my mind!
I get that people decide to continue in this kind of relationship... but why they choose to bring children into their mess, that's something I would probably never fully understand.
I think that quite often, people have a baby thinking it will somehow restore intimacy in the relationship when usually the opposite happens. Babies do not fix toxic marriages people!
Life while growing up in an urban area is often messy for all citizens living there. Don't judge while being so complacent that the same could never happen to you. Otherwise your biases would make you only innefectual whille being paid anyway to be care givers at work.
I don't have kids so I can't understand. All I can do is put myself in their shoes and I dam well would have protected the kids at all costs. I have been in crappy abusive relationships before and did not stick around. No thanks, don't need that drama in my life.
This sounds like a classic case of the control of domestic violence. Nikki might have had instability due to reactive abuse. She was married to a controlling empathy less man. Possibly her reaction to abuse made her behavior erratic and in a healthier give and take marriage her behavior would have been calmer, happier and more stable?
I think this is a possibility too. After years of being bullied, do we really expect a person to behave rationally and calmly? This seems to be asking quite a lot of a person
Right. Abusers always blame their victim, refusing to accept their victim's "instability" and "irratic" behavior as reactionary. For every action, there is a RE-action. He claimed she turned off the cameras and left in the night "to provoke" him. Projection-that is something HE would have done. I dated a man like this. When things go smoothly, they get an itch to FIGHT. The guy would come up with what EVER he could think of to provoke me. Nope-see ya!
@eadweard It's actually just how it works. The more you get f***ed with, the crazier you become. They practice this in the military. Hurl insults and physical punishment while forcing THEM to maintain control while Sargeant goes apes*t. It is only done to recruits for a few years, waning as they up rank. That HAS to happen, or your soldiers will start suffering severe mental breakdowns and irrational bouts of aggression. Matt was an instigator. Whatever it took to provoke a fight, then blame her for being the problem. It's called gaslighting. Abusers use it to keep their victims compliant. They get slowly brainwashed into believing their abuser is the victim. Nicki was not buying it, which ticks abusers off to high holy hell. They cannot accept anyone who refuses to be controlled.
Thank you Dr. Grande for this analysis. His idea of control was through the roof and not a sign of a healthy relationship. I wish he divorced her instead of taking her life away from her family/children. RIP. 😢
I think that video and audio recordings of spouses are highly inappropriate. To me, that is just another way of exerting control. Thank you for your input on this case, Dr. Grande.❤
Some spouses don't have SELF control and therefore need to be controlled. These are called "high maintenance" spouses. Not knowing that marriage means submitting your own self interests and autonomy to your mate and becoming ONE. The modern idea of Together but Separate lives is a disaster. So many people want to "be in a relationship" and act like they're single at the same time. These people can end up under brushpiles as a reward for their deceit. Be careful out there!
@@Heywood.JablomeI've been happily married for over 20 years and sorry but this is crap. Anyone who doesn't trust their spouse and needs to "control" them should leave.
Both of my mother's relationships with men (including my own bio dad) were a lot like this as well. My mother managed to escape one abusive relationship only to find herself in another. However, my stepdad was a different type of abuser. The sort where victims gaslight themselves into believing that just because he isn't hitting you on a daily basis that he's not abusive. Sadly, my mum is still in this relationship even though I've told her that she can do a lot better for herself if she leaves.
Sometimes divorce is the best case scenario. A lot of us marry the wrong person or grow apart. It’s better than ending in tragedy bcuz they couldn’t let go.
Matt did it period the end. He was lazy and paranoid and angry and no doubt had low self-esteem. He accused her of cheating because she was the bread-winner which emasculated his ego. Nicki's breast expose' in front of her father-in-law no doubt helped to fuel the fire and Matt's paranoia that she may have been cheating so he eventually snapped. (what she did was highly inappropriate but doesn't excuse murder) I feel bad for their three daughters they didn't deserve any of this. 🧚
Absolutely! A lot of children have to deal with fighting at home but to have their mother murdered and their father convicted and sent to prison, that's more than any child should have to endure. @@dwaynemcallister7231
Agree with everything you said, except that it's not usually the case that men are emasculated by the woman earning more, it's that the woman outearning her partner begins to resent him and lose attraction, which then can lead to feelings of emasculation. Guys aren't intimidated by strong career women, it's just generally known that it's not a good situation for the man if she starts becoming the breadwinner. Tons of divorce stories where the woman started earning more, began to resent her "lesser" husband, then leaves him. Nothing to excuse the guy in this case, just wanted to point out that that's a common misconception/assumption women make about men.
I was hoping for an analysis on Peter Keller, who built a bunker and murdered his wife and daughter. He provides self recorded tapes of his state of mind while he is planning. It was fascinating. And sad.
Yep sounds about right. Don't marry a loser and you will live happier. To many losers out there it baffles my mind. We all have our problems but some people just seem to attract more problems and never take responsibility.
I’ve noticed a few cases where the wife is the hard working bread winner and the husband doesn’t work, and then the husband ends up murdering the wife. I guess because they don’t work and have too much time on their hands they end up self loathing, feeling like a loser and then end up blaming the wife. 🤷♀️
I think the same anti social behavior that leads a man to take advantage of, abuse, and manipulate people also makes them capable of horrible violence. He couldn't let her go.
Thank you for covering this case. I have been an avid watcher of yours for years and I'm also into true crime, am from Lawrenceville, Georgia, and have been compiling a playlist of cold cases and crimes that have taken place in Lawrenceville and was totally unaware of this one, so thank you. So glad this monster was put away for life
After a physician admitted to me and others in a social setting once not long after 9/11 that he was sometimes feeling upset about what some of the people looked like after they arrived in the emergency ward in the downtown hospital here where he worked at the time then I decided to become better prepared before going back to work in a more formal health care setting. He said it was always upsetting to him whenever some emergency ward patient was too afraid to tell him the truth about how their injuries happened.
I like how several people seemed to refer to Nikki as violent in Matt's defense while she was literally dead from murder. Like I get it, I know she could have been violent historically, but surely he exhibited some kind of threatening behavior at some point and didn't just suddenly murder her. Idk. I'm less surprised about her being reported as violent and more surprised about them painting the relationship as having only one violent partner. 🤔
People are really bad about recognizing a toxic relationship....or perhaps they are attracted to the toxic relationship. Either way, the longer the relationship continues, the worse things often get.
Doctor, I would like to suggest the case of Gil Ofarim to you. His trial hast just getting closed. By the way, thank you so much for your analysis of Marie Sophie Hingst!
This one was a little eerie for me. My name is Nicki. My birthday is February 14 and my husband's birthday is July 16th. I know the dates are just random, but still, it's weird.
@@mason4354 I don’t have to explain my opinion and views. Why are you attacking me? Amongst all these comments, get a life. Obviously, it struck a chord with you. I don’t care about your ego being offended or how you feel about my opinion.
@@cjacquot2 obviously you do care, firstly you responded and in an attempt to ridicule at that. Look I pointed out a bias you have and you experienced some cognitive dissonance because of it. You think to yourself "I'm a good person, I'm not bigoted" but you struggle to come to terms with the prejudice that I pointed out. It's perfectly normal and I don't blame you for your opinions, I just had more hope you could at least try to elaborate on how you're justified in that backwards way of thinking. I go to bed disappointed in your lack of effort.
I think that's very true about verbal abuse in a hetero relationship. It's not okay to communicate with your partner in that way. A constant pattern of that can escalate to a dangerous degree as seen here.
I can't watch the video just yet and was just reviewing comments. I'm curious about your hetero comment. Does verbal abuse present differently for lesbian couples or for homosexual couples? I am open to the idea of considering this but I just always thought of verbal abuse as pretty much the same (non-gendered) abuse that can pop up in any type of relationship - romantic or not, straight or otherwise. If you don't mind, please expand on your thoughts. I am intrigued.
@@blk5124 I just mean by that there's a typical physical imbalance between men and women, though there are always exceptions! Verbal abuse I think can be pretty common but it's easily corrected if both parties recognize how it can escalate, even if they don't intend to cause physical harm to the other.
@@Jessica.Rachel oh I totally agree men are usually bigger and stronger though there are exceptions to this. I also agree verbal abuse can be overcome but sadly it seems - from comments I've read - things escalated horribly in this situation. Most unfortunate. Thanks for your response. 😊
I got out of a nightmare marriage and combined with experiences as a child has left me with no trust with men and a fear of being in another relationship. Rather sad.
It's understandable to want to be safe and to avoid things that have violated your safety in the past. I think it'd be hard to step out of that kind of space but therapy may be helpful.
I've been divorced for about 25 years now, never dated or even thought about a relationship. There is Nothing in this world that would make me want another man.
Me too. I used to go out dancing, have friends over and a real community of friends. After my ex slowly and deeply cut me off and down from everything g including my Self, I’m pretty isolated. Utter distrust. Hoping to heal, wish you the best.
Right off the get go, it is a BAD matchup. If a dude or she installs cameras, & 21 of them. Get out immediately. They're CRAZY. Inspect & pay attention everyday in your home or wherever you go. Protect yourself/ever vigilant. Nobody is going to do it for you.
Hook up culture is bad period. In this neighborhood where I live everyone has installed security cameras on the outside of their homes after a house on this street had to be torn down because of an explosion which happened in the basement of that house. While renovations were being done to the vacant building in which I live in now; for awhile some homelss people lived in the garage when I could not inspect the building as often because I was healing from a roll over car accident in which I was a passenger. Any person who lives alone in their own suite in a multifamily building has the right to install security cameras inside of their home which will not be monitored by outsiders.
After I heard the story, my first thought was that I'd be too afraid to stop to reasonably exchange information with an unreasonable man. And I would've called 911. And certainly wouldn't have left the house. I definitely see the points you made
He sounds guilty to me but they both sound immature & controlling. Video recordings have bad & good uses. Great points & breakdown again. Thanks Dr G😊💙💙
These people really believe acting calm shows they are the sane one, while completely ignoring the manipulation and antagonism in their language. Just using a calm voice doesn't make you the sane one.
The only thing that makes me smile a little is he thought he had gotten away with it for quite awhile and then was brought back to the reality that he’s not smart at all and got away with nothing
Could you do an analysis of Guilherme Taucci? It was a school shooter who carried out one of the biggest attacks on schools in Brazil, it would be interesting for you to talk about
I live in the same state and remembered this case. I do not remember the police saying she was drugged using GHB. WOW. I remebered all the security cameras. I remembered him leaving the state right after she disappeared.
Call me a misandrist, but I'm highly suspicious of men who won't work and are demanding while the wife slaves away. Highly scummy behaviour. Imagine the change in marriage counseling services if the psychotherapists actually analyzed the recordings and gave each couple personalized strategies to have less hostile confrontations and solve problems through respect and compromise! Recording the fights and then just playing them over sounds a lot like forcing each other to relive the hurt they do to each other. This case reeks of resentment. 😓
You Dr, are brilliant. It would be great if you analyzed the case of AJ Freund in Crystal Lake, IL. 2 people in jail. 2 DCFS people in jail for negligence. A whole ton of people involved. They knocked down the house in an affluent neighborhood in the NW Suberbers of Chicago. We owe it to AJ. TIA.
Sounds like they were both awful people, but Matt really dug his own grave with those cameras (I'm guessing he put them up out of jealousy, but the fact that the footage was deleted was the final nail on the proverbial coffin). Thanks, as always, Dr. Grande.
Never marry a man who looks so much like you that he could be your brother, especially not one that’s giving off so much brother cousin energy. Example: Matt’s entire face.
I know a person who always accuses their spouse of cheating. I wouldn't be surprised if that spouse did started to cheat. divorce is always better but people will always be people.
Could you do the case of Michael Edward Blackburn and Nicholas Padron? Nicholas murdered Michael on May 29, 2020 in Grafton, WV Edit: The Mountain Statesman covered the murder along with a newspaper from Azle, TX I think I’d like to hear your deadpan roasts of my father’s killer
The Truman Show ! I love that movie. I watched The Truman Show on the silver screen. Bonus ! In my junior high school English class, we had to analysis the themes and symbols of The Truman. I´m excited to watch this. :)
Dr. Todd wins "The calmest person on UA-cam" award! 🏆
Just about puts you to sleep in under (2) minutes.
Also most beautiful eyes
@@craigpennington1251 yes, an excellent sleep aid
Dr. Todd's persona is fairly typical of male counsellors. The field of counselling/psychology is feminist dominated, so for the few men who still work in the field to survive they must be seen and heard to be feminist by their colleagues, must keep their voice a calm monotone, must not move hands when talking, must blame men for the problems of society, and must make female colleagues laugh without breaking persona. Its all about being seen to be "the one good man".
very chill and informed guy
I have question: can you someday analyze the case of how you manage to pump out so many high-quality videos every single day?
Hard work I guess.
Dr. Grande is AI generated
he has a network of criminals comitting crimes exactly the way he's going to tell the stories
Plenty of channels have hired researchers and just one person producing the content. They are easy to spot.
@@mongoose6685don’t know if it applies here. I can’t see him having a “team” prolly him and his wife.
I've realized reactive abuse can make you look like the crazy one especially if the other person is a narcissist and remains calm. It will drive you insane.
That is so true! My ex wife would constantly accuse of of cheating with the neighbor Stephanie ( we lived in an apartment building ) cause she would come home and I’d be outside smoking and then go inside! I realize it looked shady in retrospect but after being accused already and embarrassed I did not want an argument in front of the other neighbors! She would keep on for hours and the angrier I got the more proof that was that I was cheating. I would leave at 2:00 am with a garbage bag of clothes quite often cause she kicked me out and then be accused again a week later! I never raised my hand only my voice but she would say I could call the cops and have you arrested for assault and they would believe me as she was rubbing her cheek to make it appear red! I finally left and didn’t come back she filed for divorce on abandonment even though she knew how to find me though it was the cheapest divorce cause it didn’t cost me anything more than pride and stuff! Later I found out she was diagnosed bi polar and also that she was cheating on me the whole time! Learned a lot about myself and marriage during that timeframe! Been married going on 13 years now and couldn’t be happier!
Exactly. His wife was the breadwinner, and was probably the alpha-controlling person. The problem is he should have left her years before. You can't change someone. You can only change how you react.
@@kenwillis8487I'm glad you moved on before something really bad happened. People don't shine the light on abuse women enact on men.
@@BadBob18 Oh, right, the guy who didn't work and installed 21 cameras to spy on his wife WASN'T the controlling jerk in this situation.
This is a classic example of domestic abuse which is about power and control. He was the abusive one, not allowing her out of the house and spying on her with 21 cameras. Why is it that the murdered person gets the blame?
Matt thinks we're all dumb when it's seriously obvious he killed her. No woman leaves without her phone and maybe a wallet but then bothers to cut off the security system. He's guilty as sin.
I always tell people if I go missing and my purse is still in the house I'm dead somewhere. I don't leave my driveway without my purse.
Yeah, that "She turns off the security system when she leaves" is about as weak sauce as weak sauce can get.
You can't say this about men because we forget to the point of agitation and self-outsmarting.
@@Casinogirl56 I feel like anyone who knows me would know this about me already 😄
He was right about the police being dumb. They had audio recordings which they didn't bother to listen to?
Even the average true crime enthusiast has more curiosity than some of these knuckleheads.
When in the history of true crime has a wife been reported missing with her purse and cell phone left at the house, and it not been the husbands fault?
Husbands are so dumb
he threw her out like a piece of trash naked and face down. there was anger there. disrespect anger resentment… im so sorry to this wife and children
It's a sad story and too many of them out there that cause this turmoil.
She chose to stay with him. You’re not a victim if you put your hand in a fire.
No that doesn’t excuse him either. They seemed to both be terrible
@@chrisnoname2725 she was frightened to leave him in case he harmed her, and he had 21 cameras on her. The most dangerous and deadly time for a DV victim is when they try to leave. Sometimes it's safer to stay, even if it's a living hell. Please try to educate yourself on DV dynamics and statistics, because your ignorance is glaring.
@@WhirlyBird90 You’re incredibly arrogant. Stop making excuses. She left home to ho to work everyday. You’re talking pure nonsense. She could have gone anywhere else when she left home too like a police station or a shelter. There are plenty of options for women but none for men at least where I live but i am sure you have excuses for that too.
@@WhirlyBird90👍🏻👌🏻👏🏻👍🏻👍🏻Indeed🙏🏻❕ Precisely 👌🏻❗
He should have been charged with SA too, drugging your wife to have relations is just pathetic smh.
He is so unattractive though. He probably thought it was nice of him to drug his wife!
💯
Rape. It's called rape
Not enough evidence for that, the drugs could have just been to kill her, so how would you prove the "relations" were related?
@@gavinjenkins899bruising, sperm age/ deterioration, tearing. Actually quite a few ways they could get evidence for that.
If anyone's marriage is so toxic and volatile that your minor child needs to move out, THEN MOVE WITH HER. Stop choosing other people before your children.
🙌🙌🙌
But they were seemingly both toxic. Why are you assuming it was only one side?
@@chrisnoname2725uh because Matt killed Nicki? Kind of indicates he's the significantly worse one doesn't it? Jfc
@@chrisnoname2725also if you don't think living with someone so abusive they're capable of murder wouldn't make you a little toxic idk what to tell you
@@R_S747 when women kill their husbands it doesn’t automatically get viewed as the killer being the toxic one. They’re often portrayed as the victim.
So no the one doing the killing isn’t automatically the most toxic.
The police had AUDIO recordings BUT DID NOT LISTEN TO THEM.
this in and of itself is highly suspicious and should be looked into, even if it was just do to incompetence... SMH Disgusting
people always think the cops were bribed or are corrupt, when the real answer is that they are usually just completely incompetent, and don't feel like working hard on most days.
I know right!
100% I was gobsmacked to hear that. Unbelievable.
It's more unusual for the police to actually take the time to investigate a crime than it is to have them be lazy like in this case!
How many times do we see a crime where everyone says... "if the police had only (fill in the blank)!" Way too many!
@@LifesPeachy321
It's called hindsight bias.
I’ve been married 20 years and I never threaten my wife to stick around. That’s not love, that’s a hostile environment.
I feel like we should really call a rape a rape and not suggest consent. She denied his sexual advances and seemingly only gave in when coerced. She died with GHB and semen in her body. Who’s to say this is the first time he drugged her and had sex with her body, the fact that he had GHB seems like premeditated rape to me. He clearly has a history of sexually abusing her in one way or another.
Well isn’t that what marriage means? Sex is a given and can be taken by the man? What’s the point in exchanging rings and vows of wife can deny sex? Does that mean he gets to go have sex with a single unmarried mom who is ready for sex whenever?
@@discombobwow, just wow! I hope you're joking, although if so it wouldn't even be funny.
@@discombobyou need to try harder with the satire.
His use of GHB also raises my suspicions about why he couldn't get a job and had to stay home with her daughter.
@@discombobbro please reread this. Consent is something u need even when married. If someone doesn’t feel like doing it, the man shouldn’t accept that and just rape her anyway? Nice, very very nice.
IMO It's a huge red flag when a man doesn't want to do anything to help support the family. His wife had the job that supported them, but he still ridiculed her and demanded more from her. Hope he appreciates his prison wife more LOL
No way in hell he isn't the wife.
@@TheErikM 🤣
Matt goes both ways
Didn't it say he worked selling computers for a while? Also it's reasonable to assume he did housekeeping duties since she worked. This doesn't excuse murder at all but also there's implicit bias in the belief that if the woman earns a salary then the man MUST also
And housewives? Are they bad for staying home and looking after the house? They never said the house was a mess. He probably did all of the housework but he should have only done half because we keep getting told that men are bad if they don’t come home and do half regardless of whether they work more or not.
If he did all of the housework then he was clearly a victim of domestic violence.
No one should ever settle for the wrong partner, thank you Dr. Grande for this fascinating video!
Seems like they both did
Sometimes you don't know they're the wrong one until your in the middle of a sh*tstorm.
Nonetheless Grande almost always indulges in victim blaming no matter how deserved or not.
@@maxshea1829she called the police to help her to leave the house, then, when the police arrived, she asked the police to leave them alone 😶
25% of the population is incapable of having a relationship with anyone. Obviously, she could’ve found someone that wouldn’t have murdered her, but I doubt she’s capable of having a healthy relationship.
So, Matt would want the world to believe that Nikki not only shut off the cameras but she also used software to delete the recording during those specific hours?? Sure, that's quite likely, said no one ever.
BUT... did you see that movie "Gone Girl"? 🤔
@@frakismaximus3052. That’s FICTION. Few females have the capacity for utter psycho controlling behavior.
@@frakismaximus3052you do know it's not a documentary
He was stalking here and monitoring here which is nuts. Talk about trust issues.
Yeah kinda hard to do all that when you're already dead , especially the file on the day hee body was found .
Its triggering when a video hits so close to my own personal life. Im so glad I escaped before my children no longer had a mother. RIP Nikki 🙏🏼❤️✨
You're very brave and I am so happy to hear that you got out. I hope you have managed to heal and that you and your children are doing well.
@@TiffWaffles thank you, your kind words mean very much to me ❤️ we have spent several years healing, and are the happiest we have ever been. He is the reason I found Dr Grande in the first place, studying that man's behavior led me here. ❤️❤️❤️
I have a history of poor choice of partner. Stories like this one reinforce my feeling good about choosing to have no partner.
@@michelleobrien6996 being single and abstinent has been the best decision of my life ❤️ my ex the stalker was jailed twice.. and he still lurks in the shadows I'm sure, but we are all very safe now 🙏🏼 no more trackers on my car, no more hidden cameras.
Just imagine, if your choice in men was only slightly worse- you would already be dead. There are many women not here in the comments section because they've already been killed.
Someone has to be the victim in the relationship- because relationships are never fair, and that's why 95% of them fail before death. Its actually rare that death does a relationship apart, but usually, that is supposed to indicate a successful relationship!
The man is usually the victim. If a man cannot accept being the victim, they revolt, its systematic.
As much as I think women are horrible to date, it really is a much larger risk to your life and safety to date a man.
Yet another situation of a man who's wife is the breadwinner and he becomes resentful, controlling and violent as a result.
I've noticed this pattern too!
It must be because boys are raised wrong. How pathetic must you be to resent that your wife has a (better paying) job. You should have worked harder. This husband comes across as someone who wanted to be handed everything on a plate without putting in the effort.
Maybe he's resentful, it's absolutely clear he was a piece of sh1t before the marriage to Nique. It's hard wired into us men the desire to provide. For all of human existence, certainly since civilisations the common arrangement was men being the bread winner and women responsibility is the home and family, I've even seen it with indigenous tribesmen in Siberia, both roles as important as each other. Only now we have decided that this is crap and by forced education, society is trying to switch this arrangement for 'whatever' goal, but I don't like the chances of it working. Men feel inferior and simply 'incompetent' if he is earning less than his partner, and it has been recorded many times that the women's attraction to her partner drops quite aggressively if she is out earning him. Neither are useful for long partnerships, the other reason is that there are no examples of a society structured like that that has existed for any length of time, same as with rulers, there has been some amazing female queens and rulers in general, I'm not saying women can not do these things at all, just in general i bossing's more suited to a male brain so you will get a higher consistency of decent Prime Ministers, decent is a big ask, competent enough to read into a microphone
righton! the man feels emasculated, lonely, frustrated and ignored. He shoul dhave gotten some sort of job or volunteer work or something!!
They were both abusive towards each other. Two toxic couples ending in tragedy
This is just one of the reasons that even though I've been single for the past 4 years, I refuse to go online to meet someone, no matter how much I'm pressured by family and friends. Poor Nicky! RIP💔
Guilty, guilty, guilty. What a creep! If the other stories you relayed are true they are both a real piece of work, but she didn't deserve to be murdered. Thanks again, Dr. Grande! I love your analysis. And I agree with what you said about both partners being aggressive and take part in the escalation in arguments. That is what I have witnessed.
This is wrong. I had a girl friend who 3 months into dating wanted me to install an app on my phone that would allow her to see where Im at whenever she wanted. She used the excuse that shed be able to know how long it was before i got to her place after I left. After she suggested this it took about 5 days to ferment in my head I knew I needed to dump her crazy azz. Just a bad sign of things to come.
YES a red flag for sure
I feel that one course taught in high school should be on relationships and recognising when you are in a controlling and abusive relationship... And this goes beyond intimate relationships and extends to the relationships we have with family and friends.
If these courses existed, I would have recognised that my stepfather was an abuser. People believe that if somebody isn't physically assaulting you that it doesn't constitute as abuse. Then by the time they do realise what is happening, they are in deep and can't escape.
@@TiffWaffles Thats such a good idea! And ya.. mental abuse, especially when subjected to it from birth, will shape and ruin lives. I know this all to well. I wont get into it but I struggle to be happy and at ease.. it feels impossible for me to achieve because of the abuse our borderline mother subjected us to on a daily basis. Im just wired differently because of it and its a real chore to deal with and manage throughout my life.
Yes, it may not change the bad behavior but maybe it could help people to deal with that situation effectively,@@TiffWaffles
@@TiffWaffles agree 100%
Secure-erasing the video the second time, after she’d been found dead is the clincher for me. He’s guilty.
Maybe she turns the cameras off whenever she storms off mad, just to annoy him-who knows.
Additionally stopping to secure-erase the recordings as she’s storming out seems pretty unlikely.
But secure-erasing the video again after she’s dead is impossible.
No woman know how to operate a dvr and then run software to make sure the data’s of the hard drive unrecoverable. At most she would have pull the cables and that would show signs and then he run the software to delete?
Very interesting dynamic of the marriage per your opinion Dr. Grande. I was married to a man with narcissistic, controlling and used surveillance in my home, telephone and home computer. On several instances he had me followed. 18 years of being driven out of my mind. 9 years out now. I am dealing with C-PTSD, as diagnosed by two different psychiatrists. The years walking on eggshells, at least 2 instances of where I was afraid for my life. Constantly being on code red.
... " You were fortunate to get out alive", said one Psychiatrist I have seen. I still have nightmares where he exists as an evil villain. I have done CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, volunteering, counseling and medications.
Accuses her of being unstable and violent but she was the one able to hold down a high powered job and gained promotions in her work
Right? Who would have guessed that the guy without a job would be a jealous, crazy, controlling, violent abuser? Well, except everyone. Not victim blaming, but we all need to make better choices and stop dismissing red flags. When someone shows you who they are, believe them
@@Heathcoatman The vast majority of domestic abuse starts during pregnancy, or after a baby is brought home. Or after marriage, typically the abuser waits until you’re “locked in” to show their true colors.
People are often criticized heavily for “breaking up their families”. By the time you realize the extent of the abuse, you’re in too deep
@@magnolia6968 That's rarely the case, not sure where you are getting your info....Lifetime TV? The signs are almost always there from the start, and often the guy has exs everyone knows he abused. People see their other as they want them to be, not as they are. They make excuses for his behavior, then when the abuse starts they act shocked. Unlike made for TV movies, these guys are rarely the Jekyll and Hyde you say they are. The signs are there from the start, and often these women will leave one abuser and end up with another. You cant be attracted to the bad boy then be shocked they turn out bad. I would give the same advice to men about bad women.
@@HeathcoatmanI couldn’t have said it better myself. Sometimes it takes a bit of life experience, plus a certain level of awareness to even accept the reality of it. What you said here is spot on and is not opinion, it’s fact.
being employed means you can't possibly be abusive? this has gotta be the dumbest thing i've ever heard. So a MAN (I'm guessing you just hate men) who has a well paid job and gets promotions cannot be unstable and violent. Also people also behave differently behind closed doors when compared to their professional life.
This is the classic "Tell me you're guilty without telling me you're guilty" in the case of Matt.
Dear Dr Grande = great analysis the poor children. It's often the innocent children that suffer.
Another astute analysis, thank you Dr. Grande. RIP to Nicky.
I appreciate your emphasis on the verbal aggression. Words are so powerful, they hold the power of life and death.
I often wonder how Dr. G. Can come to a conclusion without reading the entire court records.
He was a lazy person who coerced and bullied his wife: I wonder what kind of parenting the children got from a man who was too lazy to go out to work and felt entitled to coerce his wife into doing what he wanted?
Imagine being a man who is boyfriend to an aging public figure who maybe is showing signs of dementia who then starts bragging to everyone about how she can see whom he is with in his neighboring house when using her long spy glass. Some men go through hell for awhile too when being used like only an exotic pet to own.
Fascinating information regarding abusive dynamics, thank you Dr. Grande.
i think i saw this on cable and there was audio between these 2 it was toxic ! no way this was a good match . just one more reason i am single . great ep. as always btw !
Dr Grande's comments section = ALWAYS LIT
They both sounded erratic. I agree in that I don't think either of them were good at being in relationships. Sometimes, it's best to live alone and just date casually. Marriage isn't for everybody.
This reminds me of the Alissa Turney case, which I wish you would cover as there have been changes this year. Alissa’s stepfather was obsessed with her, and allegedly took her life. He treated his biological daughter completely different, and ended up putting secret cameras in the house to record Alissa. He would show up randomly to her job to record her from outside. This isn’t all.
how are the cases similar ??
@@dakalodkMaybe bc of the security cameras🤔
@@dakalodk maybe because there is an element of privacy invasion that is really unnerving? A person choosing to basically stalk and record someone without their permission. Yeah, the relationships are different but that is not all these cases are about. A man was obsessive and controlling over a woman because he wanted sex out of her, which is basically why Alissa’s stepfather killed her and even got rid of the recordings. And he had phone and video recordings
The house they lived in is about 20 minutes from where I am. I didn't realize the sister was his biological daughter, though. Also, you mentioned this, but he would actually take her to work and wait for her shift to be over to take her home. How anyone thought this wasn't controlling (not to mention reprehensibly psycho and stalkerish) is beyond me. How long it took for these charges to be brought also blows my mind!
I get that people decide to continue in this kind of relationship... but why they choose to bring children into their mess, that's something I would probably never fully understand.
I think that quite often, people have a baby thinking it will somehow restore intimacy in the relationship when usually the opposite happens. Babies do not fix toxic marriages people!
Life while growing up in an urban area is often messy for all citizens living there. Don't judge while being so complacent that the same could never happen to you. Otherwise your biases would make you only innefectual whille being paid anyway to be care givers at work.
@@francesbernard2445 does this comment belong here? I don't see any relevance...
I don't have kids so I can't understand. All I can do is put myself in their shoes and I dam well would have protected the kids at all costs. I have been in crappy abusive relationships before and did not stick around. No thanks, don't need that drama in my life.
I really love how over time you’ve collected more cacti. The cacti candles are a nice touch.
This sounds like a classic case of the control of domestic violence.
Nikki might have had instability due to reactive abuse.
She was married to a controlling empathy less man.
Possibly her reaction to abuse made her behavior erratic and in a healthier give and take marriage her behavior would have been calmer, happier and more stable?
I think these are more your own personal resentments than anything else.
I think this is a possibility too. After years of being bullied, do we really expect a person to behave rationally and calmly? This seems to be asking quite a lot of a person
So she holds no accountability?
Right. Abusers always blame their victim, refusing to accept their victim's "instability" and "irratic" behavior as reactionary. For every action, there is a RE-action. He claimed she turned off the cameras and left in the night "to provoke" him. Projection-that is something HE would have done. I dated a man like this. When things go smoothly, they get an itch to FIGHT. The guy would come up with what EVER he could think of to provoke me. Nope-see ya!
@eadweard It's actually just how it works. The more you get f***ed with, the crazier you become. They practice this in the military. Hurl insults and physical punishment while forcing THEM to maintain control while Sargeant goes apes*t. It is only done to recruits for a few years, waning as they up rank. That HAS to happen, or your soldiers will start suffering severe mental breakdowns and irrational bouts of aggression. Matt was an instigator. Whatever it took to provoke a fight, then blame her for being the problem. It's called gaslighting. Abusers use it to keep their victims compliant. They get slowly brainwashed into believing their abuser is the victim. Nicki was not buying it, which ticks abusers off to high holy hell. They cannot accept anyone who refuses to be controlled.
You are so relaxed and informative as you explain each case. Very interesting approach. Thank you. nh. Ireland.
Thank you Dr. Grande for this analysis.
His idea of control was through the roof and not a sign of a healthy relationship.
I wish he divorced her instead of taking her life away from her family/children. RIP. 😢
He needed her money.
Couldn’t divorce her, that would give her freedom.
I think that video and audio recordings of spouses are highly inappropriate. To me, that is just another way of exerting control.
Thank you for your input on this case, Dr. Grande.❤
Some spouses don't have SELF control and therefore need to be controlled. These are called "high maintenance" spouses. Not knowing that marriage means submitting your own self interests and autonomy to your mate and becoming ONE. The modern idea of Together but Separate lives is a disaster. So many people want to "be in a relationship" and act like they're single at the same time. These people can end up under brushpiles as a reward for their deceit. Be careful out there!
@@Heywood.JablomeI've been happily married for over 20 years and sorry but this is crap. Anyone who doesn't trust their spouse and needs to "control" them should leave.
"Thier arguments were loud, explosive, and frequent." Sounds a lot like my parents' relationship. Thank God it ended in divorce. 😊
Both of my mother's relationships with men (including my own bio dad) were a lot like this as well. My mother managed to escape one abusive relationship only to find herself in another. However, my stepdad was a different type of abuser. The sort where victims gaslight themselves into believing that just because he isn't hitting you on a daily basis that he's not abusive. Sadly, my mum is still in this relationship even though I've told her that she can do a lot better for herself if she leaves.
😊q
😊😊😊
@@TiffWaffles I sure none of it is her fault
Sometimes divorce is the best case scenario. A lot of us marry the wrong person or grow apart. It’s better than ending in tragedy bcuz they couldn’t let go.
I'm not surprised the daughter is standing up for the only parent she has left, I wouldn't believe her though
Daughters. They aren't on their dad's side anymore and said he manipulated them into defending him. They're close with their older half sister.
Matt did it period the end. He was lazy and paranoid and angry and no doubt had low self-esteem. He accused her of cheating because she was the bread-winner which emasculated his ego. Nicki's breast expose' in front of her father-in-law no doubt helped to fuel the fire and Matt's paranoia that she may have been cheating so he eventually snapped. (what she did was highly inappropriate but doesn't excuse murder) I feel bad for their three daughters they didn't deserve any of this. 🧚
Yes, really hope they heal and move forward in life, must have been a very unhappy childhood.
Absolutely! A lot of children have to deal with fighting at home but to have their mother murdered and their father convicted and sent to prison, that's more than any child should have to endure. @@dwaynemcallister7231
He is always horny. Why didn't he look for a woman who love sex every second.
i am doubting that she did that it sounds so made up
Agree with everything you said, except that it's not usually the case that men are emasculated by the woman earning more, it's that the woman outearning her partner begins to resent him and lose attraction, which then can lead to feelings of emasculation.
Guys aren't intimidated by strong career women, it's just generally known that it's not a good situation for the man if she starts becoming the breadwinner. Tons of divorce stories where the woman started earning more, began to resent her "lesser" husband, then leaves him. Nothing to excuse the guy in this case, just wanted to point out that that's a common misconception/assumption women make about men.
No, you do NOT love some clown who's not working. You really don't.
True, I dumped my gf of 12 years after she went 3 weeks without employment. Best thing I've ever done hands down. No one likes a gold digger. 👍
fr. only unemployed person you can love is your own child.
I was hoping for an analysis on Peter Keller, who built a bunker and murdered his wife and daughter. He provides self recorded tapes of his state of mind while he is planning. It was fascinating. And sad.
Did you listen to Bruce Rivers, of Criminal Lawyer Reacts, cover this? He has some good points.
@@evelynwaugh4053 I couldn't get through Bruce's video. That was too chilling, but great recommendation.
Dr. Grande, I've never been blown away by a title before. New York Times have nothing on you!!👏👏😊
As a 60 year old man that has never had a credit card I will never understand how someone can get $300,000 in debt. That's insane to me.
The fine line between privacy and security is real
Those who would trade privacy for security, deserve neither!
*Benjamin Franklin
Cannot tell what you are trying to say.
This is why you don't marry a loser. Full stop.
At least you know why you're single
The very best advice.
Right!!
Yep sounds about right. Don't marry a loser and you will live happier. To many losers out there it baffles my mind. We all have our problems but some people just seem to attract more problems and never take responsibility.
You have to marry a loser if you're a loser yourself.
I love all your new cacti! What an interesting, complex, and disturbing case. 😨
Anyone dealing with a pos like that would use an “excessive amount of expletives” it’s fricken maddening as heck
I’ve noticed a few cases where the wife is the hard working bread winner and the husband doesn’t work, and then the husband ends up murdering the wife. I guess because they don’t work and have too much time on their hands they end up self loathing, feeling like a loser and then end up blaming the wife. 🤷♀️
I think the same anti social behavior that leads a man to take advantage of, abuse, and manipulate people also makes them capable of horrible violence. He couldn't let her go.
He definitely hated himself. And drugging her for sex. Yikes. I bet she found him repulsive.
@@MichadooWith good reason! What a loser.
In households where the woman earns more than the man, risk of male on female domestic violence goes up. Look up the statistics.
Yep, and while she's out toiling, he's fantasizing about the end while playing Call of Duty lol
You are the best Dr Grande ! You have the best personality , sense of humor , and expertise !
Another Great analysis, Dr. grande… Thank you
When it would’ve been just so much better to walk away for both of them
Thank you for covering this case. I have been an avid watcher of yours for years and I'm also into true crime, am from Lawrenceville, Georgia, and have been compiling a playlist of cold cases and crimes that have taken place in Lawrenceville and was totally unaware of this one, so thank you. So glad this monster was put away for life
After a physician admitted to me and others in a social setting once not long after 9/11 that he was sometimes feeling upset about what some of the people looked like after they arrived in the emergency ward in the downtown hospital here where he worked at the time then I decided to become better prepared before going back to work in a more formal health care setting. He said it was always upsetting to him whenever some emergency ward patient was too afraid to tell him the truth about how their injuries happened.
What an awful relationship.
15:59 Thank you for saying this Dr. Grande. It was a very well made point. Excellent quality of analysis, in my opinion
"Let's like a family!"
Bruh, that's f-ed up!
I like how several people seemed to refer to Nikki as violent in Matt's defense while she was literally dead from murder. Like I get it, I know she could have been violent historically, but surely he exhibited some kind of threatening behavior at some point and didn't just suddenly murder her. Idk. I'm less surprised about her being reported as violent and more surprised about them painting the relationship as having only one violent partner. 🤔
People are really bad about recognizing a toxic relationship....or perhaps they are attracted to the toxic relationship. Either way, the longer the relationship continues, the worse things often get.
Toxic becomes one's comfort zone and you develop coping skills to stay. Normalcy feels foreign.
Definitely
Its so nice that a sober UA-cam channel like this exists
A worse punishment for him would have been to be found innocent, and then forced to live with $300,000 debt and no useful skills.
He had computer skills.
Doctor, I would like to suggest the case of Gil Ofarim to you. His trial hast just getting closed. By the way, thank you so much for your analysis of Marie Sophie Hingst!
I’d like to know more about what the daughters felt going through this and their experienced.
Hi Dr. Grande....you are just so awesome 👍❤
This one was a little eerie for me. My name is Nicki. My birthday is February 14 and my husband's birthday is July 16th. I know the dates are just random, but still, it's weird.
I'd like to see Dr Grande interviewed by Piers Morgan and then Dr Grande's analysis of the interview.
Wow never thought of this
As soon as I heard, she worked and He stayed home and watched her child. I knew it was going downhill.
Oh is that like a prejudicial thing you believe or something?
@@mason4354 Get lost this is the comment section where everyone can speak to on opinion, I’m not over explaining anything
@@cjacquot2 hard to rationalize bigotry ain't it?
@@mason4354 I don’t have to explain my opinion and views. Why are you attacking me? Amongst all these comments, get a life. Obviously, it struck a chord with you. I don’t care about your ego being offended or how you feel about my opinion.
@@cjacquot2 obviously you do care, firstly you responded and in an attempt to ridicule at that. Look I pointed out a bias you have and you experienced some cognitive dissonance because of it. You think to yourself "I'm a good person, I'm not bigoted" but you struggle to come to terms with the prejudice that I pointed out. It's perfectly normal and I don't blame you for your opinions, I just had more hope you could at least try to elaborate on how you're justified in that backwards way of thinking. I go to bed disappointed in your lack of effort.
Don't deal with scrubs. No job, no date.
I think that's very true about verbal abuse in a hetero relationship. It's not okay to communicate with your partner in that way. A constant pattern of that can escalate to a dangerous degree as seen here.
I can't watch the video just yet and was just reviewing comments. I'm curious about your hetero comment. Does verbal abuse present differently for lesbian couples or for homosexual couples? I am open to the idea of considering this but I just always thought of verbal abuse as pretty much the same (non-gendered) abuse that can pop up in any type of relationship - romantic or not, straight or otherwise. If you don't mind, please expand on your thoughts. I am intrigued.
@@blk5124 I just mean by that there's a typical physical imbalance between men and women, though there are always exceptions! Verbal abuse I think can be pretty common but it's easily corrected if both parties recognize how it can escalate, even if they don't intend to cause physical harm to the other.
@@Jessica.Rachel oh I totally agree men are usually bigger and stronger though there are exceptions to this. I also agree verbal abuse can be overcome but sadly it seems - from comments I've read - things escalated horribly in this situation. Most unfortunate. Thanks for your response. 😊
I got out of a nightmare marriage and combined with experiences as a child has left me with no trust with men and a fear of being in another relationship. Rather sad.
It's understandable to want to be safe and to avoid things that have violated your safety in the past. I think it'd be hard to step out of that kind of space but therapy may be helpful.
I've been divorced for about 25 years now, never dated or even thought about a relationship. There is Nothing in this world that would make me want another man.
Me too. I used to go out dancing, have friends over and a real community of friends. After my ex slowly and deeply cut me off and down from everything g including my Self, I’m pretty isolated. Utter distrust. Hoping to heal, wish you the best.
Glad you got out, wishing you the best on your healing journey
A goid divorce is better than a bad marriage
Right off the get go, it is a BAD matchup. If a dude or she installs cameras, & 21 of them. Get out immediately. They're CRAZY. Inspect & pay attention everyday in your home or wherever you go. Protect yourself/ever vigilant. Nobody is going to do it for you.
Hook up culture is bad period. In this neighborhood where I live everyone has installed security cameras on the outside of their homes after a house on this street had to be torn down because of an explosion which happened in the basement of that house. While renovations were being done to the vacant building in which I live in now; for awhile some homelss people lived in the garage when I could not inspect the building as often because I was healing from a roll over car accident in which I was a passenger. Any person who lives alone in their own suite in a multifamily building has the right to install security cameras inside of their home which will not be monitored by outsiders.
Hi, Dr. Grande. Long time fan. Can you please make a video about the author Marion Zimmer Bradley?
Another banger Doc. Thanks for the video!
Dr. Grande, Stuart Seldowitz's case is very intriguing to analyze. Could you please!!!
After I heard the story, my first thought was that I'd be too afraid to stop to reasonably exchange information with an unreasonable man. And I would've called 911. And certainly wouldn't have left the house. I definitely see the points you made
He sounds guilty to me but they both sound immature & controlling. Video recordings have bad & good uses. Great points & breakdown again. Thanks Dr G😊💙💙
These people really believe acting calm shows they are the sane one, while completely ignoring the manipulation and antagonism in their language. Just using a calm voice doesn't make you the sane one.
The only thing that makes me smile a little is he thought he had gotten away with it for quite awhile and then was brought back to the reality that he’s not smart at all and got away with nothing
its amazing to me how some people think murder is an ok idea....wtf
Very good interesting statistics at the end and interesting case study and analysis, Dr.Grande
Could you do an analysis of Guilherme Taucci? It was a school shooter who carried out one of the biggest attacks on schools in Brazil, it would be interesting for you to talk about
Thanks Dr. Grande, always great content.
He did it. The evidence is beyond a shadow of a doubt for his guilt.
I live in the same state and remembered this case. I do not remember the police saying she was drugged using GHB. WOW. I remebered all the security cameras. I remembered him leaving the state right after she disappeared.
She lost interest in him because he was a lazy bum.
Another great case, and opinion 😊 Thank you!
Call me a misandrist, but I'm highly suspicious of men who won't work and are demanding while the wife slaves away. Highly scummy behaviour.
Imagine the change in marriage counseling services if the psychotherapists actually analyzed the recordings and gave each couple personalized strategies to have less hostile confrontations and solve problems through respect and compromise!
Recording the fights and then just playing them over sounds a lot like forcing each other to relive the hurt they do to each other. This case reeks of resentment. 😓
Yes, true. But in the vast majority of the cases the husband-man is the one slaving away.
@@johnkowalski5756Maybe 60 years ago, idk where you live but in the US it’s pretty rare that the man is slaving away and the woman is doing nothing.
@@danielpalmer1297i work in the mid west where this is still very a thing. especially in wealthy neighborhoods js
@@poindextertunes I live in northeast Ohio, I can count on one hand of the number of stay at home wives I’ve met in 40 years that are under 60.
@@danielpalmer1297does that include your mom?
Hello 👋 good Dr. Grande 😊
Could analyse the case of David Fuller?
You Dr, are brilliant. It would be great if you analyzed the case of AJ Freund in Crystal Lake, IL. 2 people in jail. 2 DCFS people in jail for negligence. A whole ton of people involved. They knocked down the house in an affluent neighborhood in the NW Suberbers of Chicago. We owe it to AJ. TIA.
Purse, cell phone, keys…..still in house. But, wife is gone. Really?
I like this vid. Good insight and great analysis.
Sounds like they were both awful people, but Matt really dug his own grave with those cameras (I'm guessing he put them up out of jealousy, but the fact that the footage was deleted was the final nail on the proverbial coffin). Thanks, as always, Dr. Grande.
Yes king, go off!
You’re back!!!!
Never marry a man who looks so much like you that he could be your brother, especially not one that’s giving off so much brother cousin energy.
Example: Matt’s entire face.
"Brother cousin energy" is a great term and I'm going to steal it 😆
My cousin married a woman who looks just like him 😂
He is just weird looking. Creepy.
I know a person who always accuses their spouse of cheating. I wouldn't be surprised if that spouse did started to cheat. divorce is always better but people will always be people.
Usually the cheater is the accuser. Projection.
Could you do the case of Michael Edward Blackburn and Nicholas Padron? Nicholas murdered Michael on May 29, 2020 in Grafton, WV
Edit: The Mountain Statesman covered the murder along with a newspaper from Azle, TX I think
I’d like to hear your deadpan roasts of my father’s killer
The Truman Show ! I love that movie. I watched The Truman Show on the silver screen. Bonus ! In my junior high school English class, we had to analysis the themes and symbols of The Truman. I´m excited to watch this. :)
Amazon is always watching you, if you are a working at one of their distribution centers or other facilities...
Why did the daughters side with their father? Strange…
Who wants to believe their father is a murderer? He's the only parent they have left.
They said he manipulated them, even from jail. They eventually saw through him. They're close with their older half sister.