I was a really shy person who grew up extremely sheltered, like never walked by myself outside the house until I was 16.5. When I to college, I said to myself, this is not who I want to be so from now on if you make eye contact with someone, you approach them, shake hands, and introduce yourself. It was obligatory, I did it every time knowing it was uncomfortable and feeling the discomfort. Now, people laugh at me when I say I'm introverted and shy cuz that's not at all what they see. I've gotten so much more comfortable socially that it's rarely uncomfortable.
My mother is so good at all this naturally, she is like the master communicator, she openly smiles at people, cracks a joke here and there, and always comes up with the right thing to say in every situation, she can crack everybody. Fascinating. But I didn't inherit that gene 😂
I don’t think it’s a gene. I think most of it is environmentally/experientially acquired. Remember, our parents will always seem “natural” to us, but they, too, were children, and adolescents, and young adults, etc., etc. Between growth and choice, I think, we find ourselves.
@@LC-Muckman That's the nature vs. nurture debate but I do believe that we're born with a tendency towards a personality style and it can often be seen early on in children and esp. in siblings. Of course our environment further shapes who we become. In my case, I def. learned from her since I don't have a problem to talk to people, I'll also talk to strangers if I feel like it. However, I'm not as extroverted and I'm also not always interested in everybody as much as she is and I think that's fine. Everybody has their unique set of skills and the way they see the world. I can admire someone for their skills without wanting to be exactly that. It's also not all about communication skills, it's also about confidence, looks, sense of humor, voice, body language and the energy you give off just by existing. I just don't think the same can be achieved by everybody but we can certainly work towards it.
I ran into DeAngelo Hall (former football player) at work. I went over to say hi to him, not cuz I like football, but because we went to college together. He immediately assumed I wanted to talk about his career, but I had to admit to him that I don't follow football. Sure, I saw him play in college, but I just wanted to know how he's been. He came into the restaurant a couple more times before he moved out of town. Introduced me to his wife. I sincerely think of him as a friend/acquaintance rather than a celebrity I once met. I don't even feel comfortable treating celebrities as such, because they are people more than they are celebrities.
@@derek2593 i guarantee that if we ask every family member or even any person that you know, they will say they've heard your deangelo story multiple times. and to be clear deangelo is not jesus.
@@albundy3929 , I am not you. Maybe try to "listen to understand", instead of "listening to respond". You missed the point. It's YOUR world, we're just living in it.
15:30 "See every single person you come across in your life as someone (an opportunity) you could potentially take to and practice that (social) skill." Somehow this sentence hit my spot
One tip I know helped me to build quick momentum is to just hear the sound of my own voice in the car on the way to something. Kinda reassures me that my voice still works. I also try to reprogram my brain to just always be ready for conversation so that people don't catch me "off guard" and now I have to activate my social side while in the interaction.
Your content lives up to its title. You don't rehash clichés and actually know what you're saying. And you explain with so much empathy, like you get it. You're amazing in a rare way ❤️
2 Samuel 24 New International Version David Enrolls the Fighting Men 24 Again the anger of the Lord burned against Israel, and he incited David against them, saying, “Go and take a census of Israel and Judah.” 2 S
1. Don´t presume you bothering them! 2.People reflect what you bring to them! 3.Treat them like an old friend! 4.Be more open with people 5.Emphasize and develop your outgoing side 6.Get close 7.wear something wild 8.don´t give up too easily 9.don´t take negativity personally! 10.be a word detective 11.distribute eye contact 12.how to make it a habit speak to the inner child
hey my old friend, I just wanted to point out how clear your prononciation / enonciation is. I don't know if it's something you trained for, or if it's natural, but as a non-native english speaker I can't help but notice how pleasant it is to listen you speak. For some reason your intonation is somewhat very convenient to parse. Please keep up the good work !
Yeah bro, in fact, I watch your videos to improve my listening in english besides I learn something new, your way of speaking makes my job easier. Don't stop making videos.
@@complexobjectsthe way you come off is just ‘healthy’ which is contagious. We know you’re speaking the truth and listen because you’re not hiding behind a facade built up as a wall by many emotionally neglected bricks- that each of us adults tend to have. Seeing you is inspiring, anyway. Edit: oh you KNEW you cooked when you asked for feedback and said ‘I really want to hear yalls feedback.’ You’ve mastered this archetype.
Its about being open hearted- and for me that can change - depending on many factors- but these days i work on staying open which is more vulnerable- its an irony the more vulnerable you are- the more likely you are to connect. Good chat bruv
The “old friend” bit is always my go-to. I don’t even think about it beforehand, but yes. The person next to me at the soda fountain, for example, is here, in the same place at the same time. We know what this is and we’ve been through this before. Just make whatever thought that was in my head at that moment into a passing comment. Sow the seed of familiarity. That’s it. Keep moving.
tip 3 is HUGE. I’m an extrovert so I do a lot of these things without realizing it and i had never cognated that i do that one with almost everyone. i don’t know where it comes from tbh. great video.
To be honest, I don't have that much of a problem approaching people when I know exactly what I want from them and have a certain idea of how the interaction is going to go. What I do have a problem with, is maintaining a connection, however brief, when I don't know what's going to happen next. When people start to act in a way I'm not familiar with I start to fumble my words and put up walls. I haven't had any friends since I was twelve, and the friends that I did have ended up choosing other, more interesting people to hang out with over me (I mean, good for them, but that kind of thing stings). What I mean is, I have no idea how to maintain a connection that somehow has grown beyond the point of simple politeness between acquaintances, and I know this is going to make it impossible for me to make friends or finding work opportunities through contacts, and it drives me up the wall when I start thinking about it. I don't want people to think I'm weird or sick, so I'm trying to be as friendly as possible in real life, but I never text the people I meet, because I literally have no idea what should I say, or what amount of texting is appropriate. I really don't think there are other mentally healthy adults who struggle with things like that because most people learn how to manage human connection in high school (at least that's the impression I get), and after you turn 18 everyone kind of expects you to have this figured out. I have no reason to consider that I have any mental abnormalities, so I probably just failed as a human being.
I can relate. One thing that helped me was the acronym “FORD” to remind me of topics I might bring up: family, occupation, recreation, dreams/plans. Just an idea
Same. I find it fairly easy to approach and talk with people, but maintaining connections is a challenge for me too. What’s the next step? Do we exchange numbers? Do I call them so we can chat on the phone? Do we plan to go have lunch or check out some local event? I want to know how to cultivate friendship, which seems hard at 50+ when people seem to be already ‘friended-up’, like their circle is all set.
You're not alone in this. I'm pretty much in the same boat. In fact there are probably millions and millions of people with the same exact scenario. Life isn't fair and we all get different upbringings and I've settled on the fact that if I'm doing the best that I know I can do everyday, whatever happens is what happens. This life is very short, so just be thankful for the blessings in your life and like I said, just do the best that you can do.
By keeping in touch with a woman I met briefly at a cocktail party, about two years and two moves later- we went on a date. Allllllnost proposed to her but no relationship survives law school. But it was a really beautiful relationship. Just by asking questions over a pot luck table. You never know who will weave back into your life
It took me decades to learn to talk to people, and everything you’re saying is so true! Really good advice. Too bad I didn’t have this video 30 years ago, but I eventually got there, and I can use the encouraging reinforcement. Good stuff
Phenomenal video. I’ve been watching a lot of videos on how to put myself out there and talk to people better, and there has been a lot of overlap between those videos, but none of them have even once mentioned most of the tips you gave here. I especially liked your tips on not acting like you’re bothering them, treating them like an old friend, being persistent to find that inner child, and _especially_ especially the one about dressing loudly. That sounds like so much fun, I’m definitely going to try it out next time I go out with friends. This is a video I’m gonna be revisiting a lot. Incredible job, keep up the good work.
I watched a video of yours some weeks earlier and was blown away by your authenticity, I'm at a point where I don't need to watch videos like these but your content just feels so genuine and you look like you're having so much fun saying and recording, I can't help but smile
This video struck a chord with me. It’s refreshing to hear tips from someone who is still learning about confidence. The viewers’ perspective feels valid. I instantaneously subscribed! Keep it up!
Love your video and applicable and clear advice! And for keeping it real, reminding us that it’s not always black-and-white, it’s ok to do better some days better than others. ❤
Thank you. My biggest mistake is interrupting someone while still talking because i am trying not to forget what to response, which i try to avoid another mistake by just responding, that’s cool, or oh nice. Which i hate because I just don’t know what to reponse which leads to conversation dying down
I was at the gym and a guy played sax cuz the staff asked him to. I ran out and asked his number. Now 1.5 years later he sold me his tenor, and let me borrow his alto and about to let me borrow his soprano saxophones. All from just saying hi and introducing myself to him
Thank you. The topic is really important, and you approached that from a rather useful angle. I'd add even more practical advice, but you did a great job on that already.
im 38 now and i have become completely antisocial over the years, i think cannabis has a lot to do with it, plus i worked in a very busy shop for many years and i had lots of social interactions everyday, by the time i finished work i just wanted to be alone. now i spend every day alone and rarely speak to anybody, i quit my last job ro get away from bad influences (i managed to quit weed, gambling and tobacco and started exercising a lot, but ive became lonely). great video, i will try to speak to a random person.
I consider myself pretty good at socializing ot even very good. I'm pretty introverted and very private but most people wouldn't know that if they saw me in action at social events. All this to say is that there's some very good points from this video that I can add to my repetoire! Some points that I haven't heard before that I feel are refreshing. No corny one liners or anything like that. Just genuine communication and ideas.
Thank you!!! Amazingly helpful stuff. I’ve been having a hard time feeling isolated and alone in grad school. I’m going to use these tips to make some new friends and finally talk to my gym crush lol
Great Video, gonna take your advice to the hearth. I often struggle when the first contact isn't going well and it often sets the tone for future interactions with the person. Am gonna try not to sulk in this feeling and keep an open mind
I find when I intentionally withhold my self from social engagement I am practicing social selfishness. Acknowledging a stranger in a public setting, when appropriate, is exercising generosity, even compassion in some instances. You don't know who is literally starving for some social interaction.
I appreciate this video. I’m hoping you might do a video on how to cultivate friendships? Especially when it seems like everyone already has their friend circles. I find it fairly easy to approach and talk with people, but maintaining the connection is a challenge for me. What’s the next step? And the next step after that? Do we exchange numbers? Do I call them so we can chat on the phone? Do we plan to go have lunch or check out some local event? How do I continue to get to know them, hoping they want to continue to get to know me?
Number one key is self acceptance and self love. If you have that you won’t feel like you are bothering others. Edit:- the method worked for me to be self accepting is studying and understanding what is self acceptance and why selfishness is necessary. Then I studied Alan Watts teachings and Taoism and other stuff. Islam and Buddhism is literally the same thing so if you want you can study any of those secularisms. Contrary to the popular belief those are not religions. But rather those two rejects religious teachings like rituals and stuff.
No ad to skip at beginning. Wonderful! You are cute and smart! I like your style. You have good energy, and your expertise is impressive. Keep making vids. They will create a strong legacy. Oh, and I see what you did, making sure a single leaf of your plant is illuminated. A very Japanese feel to your chamber, the care you invested. You made the space ideal for revelation.
Wow, this is great! That's the second time I've seen you pop up with a banger, this definitely earns a sub and more viewers imo, because this feels like a video from a 100k+ channel. Also, I agree with some of the other comments here that you're a really great speaker. Not only do you speak clear, with a comfortable pace, and enticing (without being annoyingly high energy), but it feels like you naturally have flowing, supportive body language too. Combine that with the fact that you seem to really have a grasp on the subject, and it makes it really nice to listen to you talk. I think it's true by the way, that we do all have that outgoing person somewhere inside of us. You've reminded me of mine. Lately I've been falling a bit too much into my isolated and introverted side myself, and I appreciate you trying to pull people like me toward the opposite. It's not naturally my default mode, but I do remember what it feels like and I want to get back to it. Also, I appreciate the book references, might have to look into those. More videos like this please!
I want to frame this comment on my wall. Thanks very much! 🙏 You pointed out several aspects of my video-making process that I pour a lot of attention into, and it motivates me to work even more on communicating clearly. It's not my default mode either. I'm glad it inspired you!
I like to start with "Hey! How've u been?" .. now they are thinking, "Do I know this person?" By approaching them in good spirits, it tells them that if they do know me, it must be on good happy terms, and they reciprocate in kind. 😊
I grew up in what once was a small town and talking to random people was a habit for me, I say was because I had a cultural shock once I moved to northern Europe and people there don't talk to each other and it was weird, the conversations get stagnant very fast because they don't even expect a stranger to talk to them out of the blue
Hello good friend, this was a very refreshing video on the topic. Im practising one of the skills on you. 😂 Looking forward to more videos on this topic.
I am very pleased to listen to you, your thoughts and your recommendations, analyzing my own behavior and communication habits along the way I would like to mention that there are some minor disturbances in the audio of your video (and I think you already know about it, but I still wanted to say it. just in case 👉👈). I hope that your future videos will not have these static squeaks, as it could be very distracting and quite annoying anyway, thank you for the video. and I wish you good luck ❤
Thank you! Yeah you’re right! I live next to radio stations and government buildings and there is constant electrical interference 🙄 I’m going to try a different location.
People dont talk in the city because of ongoing stress and defense mechanisms for safety. Even a dog has a defense mechanism. Kick it and it feels pain and fear. Approach it and it tries to keep away. Chase it so it cant get away and it shows its teeth anger. Keep coming and it bites violence. People do the same thing. Realize that everyone has been hurt and everyone has a defense mechanism. Its sad but true.
I mean, if they're wearing headphones in public, sometimes it's because they don't want to be bothered. My girlfriend does this expressly so that people will be disinclined to interrupt her.
2:50 that’s me, I do this, I’m this person. But don’t be put down by this. I’m a miserable goblin type character and would do this to anyone. Just dismiss em and move on. Like he said it’s rare.
I truly wish the world would just be accepting of quiet serious people. It's talked about like it's some sort of disease. I don't like to speak with people very much and I don't like to joke around. What's so wrong about that? Why do I need to change because you feel awkward in silence?
I was a really shy person who grew up extremely sheltered, like never walked by myself outside the house until I was 16.5. When I to college, I said to myself, this is not who I want to be so from now on if you make eye contact with someone, you approach them, shake hands, and introduce yourself. It was obligatory, I did it every time knowing it was uncomfortable and feeling the discomfort. Now, people laugh at me when I say I'm introverted and shy cuz that's not at all what they see. I've gotten so much more comfortable socially that it's rarely uncomfortable.
My mother is so good at all this naturally, she is like the master communicator, she openly smiles at people, cracks a joke here and there, and always comes up with the right thing to say in every situation, she can crack everybody. Fascinating. But I didn't inherit that gene 😂
I don’t think it’s a gene. I think most of it is environmentally/experientially acquired. Remember, our parents will always seem “natural” to us, but they, too, were children, and adolescents, and young adults, etc., etc.
Between growth and choice, I think, we find ourselves.
Haha, don't label and you'll find it easier to acquire the traits you wish you had. That kind of confidence is not a trait, it's a habit.
@@LC-Muckman That's the nature vs. nurture debate but I do believe that we're born with a tendency towards a personality style and it can often be seen early on in children and esp. in siblings. Of course our environment further shapes who we become. In my case, I def. learned from her since I don't have a problem to talk to people, I'll also talk to strangers if I feel like it. However, I'm not as extroverted and I'm also not always interested in everybody as much as she is and I think that's fine. Everybody has their unique set of skills and the way they see the world. I can admire someone for their skills without wanting to be exactly that. It's also not all about communication skills, it's also about confidence, looks, sense of humor, voice, body language and the energy you give off just by existing. I just don't think the same can be achieved by everybody but we can certainly work towards it.
My in-laws are awesome at this!
Me too...thinking and trying to becoming her (my mum)all the time but I eventually learn to be myself is more than enough
It's about intentions. Be clear with your intentions from the heart.
I ran into DeAngelo Hall (former football player) at work. I went over to say hi to him, not cuz I like football, but because we went to college together. He immediately assumed I wanted to talk about his career, but I had to admit to him that I don't follow football. Sure, I saw him play in college, but I just wanted to know how he's been.
He came into the restaurant a couple more times before he moved out of town. Introduced me to his wife. I sincerely think of him as a friend/acquaintance rather than a celebrity I once met.
I don't even feel comfortable treating celebrities as such, because they are people more than they are celebrities.
Yet you tell this story to everyone you meet. Because you get to name drop a name that no one knows but you consider them a celebrity.
Bro that's so awesome that you know that guy who played football one time źzzzzzzzz
@@albundy3929 , And if someone says, "I have a personal relationship with Jesus", do you call it name dropping? Do you ALWAYS miss the point?
@@derek2593 i guarantee that if we ask every family member or even any person that you know, they will say they've heard your deangelo story multiple times. and to be clear deangelo is not jesus.
@@albundy3929 , I am not you. Maybe try to "listen to understand", instead of "listening to respond".
You missed the point. It's YOUR world, we're just living in it.
15:30 "See every single person you come across in your life as someone (an opportunity) you could potentially take to and practice that (social) skill." Somehow this sentence hit my spot
One tip I know helped me to build quick momentum is to just hear the sound of my own voice in the car on the way to something. Kinda reassures me that my voice still works. I also try to reprogram my brain to just always be ready for conversation so that people don't catch me "off guard" and now I have to activate my social side while in the interaction.
Cool tip. Thanks 🙏
Your content lives up to its title. You don't rehash clichés and actually know what you're saying. And you explain with so much empathy, like you get it. You're amazing in a rare way ❤️
2 Samuel 24
New International Version
David Enrolls the Fighting Men
24 Again the anger of the Lord burned against Israel, and he incited David against them, saying, “Go and take a census of Israel and Judah.”
2 S
@@BristleHiffynbooooooo you stink!
1. Don´t presume you bothering them!
2.People reflect what you bring to them!
3.Treat them like an old friend!
4.Be more open with people
5.Emphasize and develop your outgoing side
6.Get close
7.wear something wild
8.don´t give up too easily
9.don´t take negativity personally!
10.be a word detective
11.distribute eye contact
12.how to make it a habit
speak to the inner child
Angel 👼
Ya know…this is the first time I felt like a genuine human being was giving solid advice without trying to change me or trying to sell me something.
hey my old friend, I just wanted to point out how clear your prononciation / enonciation is. I don't know if it's something you trained for, or if it's natural, but as a non-native english speaker I can't help but notice how pleasant it is to listen you speak. For some reason your intonation is somewhat very convenient to parse.
Please keep up the good work !
Wow thanks so much, no one’s ever said that!! I’ve been working on it but didn’t know I was doing that well!
Yeah bro, in fact, I watch your videos to improve my listening in english besides I learn something new, your way of speaking makes my job easier. Don't stop making videos.
truee
I second this
@@complexobjectsthe way you come off is just ‘healthy’ which is contagious. We know you’re speaking the truth and listen because you’re not hiding behind a facade built up as a wall by many emotionally neglected bricks- that each of us adults tend to have. Seeing you is inspiring, anyway.
Edit: oh you KNEW you cooked when you asked for feedback and said ‘I really want to hear yalls feedback.’ You’ve mastered this archetype.
If they have BOTH headphones in or they are on a call... you are probably bothering them. Other than those situations, I totally agree!
Its about being open hearted- and for me that can change - depending on many factors- but these days i work on staying open which is more vulnerable- its an irony the more vulnerable you are- the more likely you are to connect. Good chat bruv
The “old friend” bit is always my go-to. I don’t even think about it beforehand, but yes. The person next to me at the soda fountain, for example, is here, in the same place at the same time. We know what this is and we’ve been through this before. Just make whatever thought that was in my head at that moment into a passing comment. Sow the seed of familiarity. That’s it. Keep moving.
tip 3 is HUGE. I’m an extrovert so I do a lot of these things without realizing it and i had never cognated that i do that one with almost everyone. i don’t know where it comes from tbh. great video.
This is the best advice I’ve heard so far, I have watched probably 30 videos in the past week about improving social skills.
People need to understand that no one can ever like you if you never show anybody who you are.
To be honest, I don't have that much of a problem approaching people when I know exactly what I want from them and have a certain idea of how the interaction is going to go.
What I do have a problem with, is maintaining a connection, however brief, when I don't know what's going to happen next. When people start to act in a way I'm not familiar with I start to fumble my words and put up walls.
I haven't had any friends since I was twelve, and the friends that I did have ended up choosing other, more interesting people to hang out with over me (I mean, good for them, but that kind of thing stings).
What I mean is, I have no idea how to maintain a connection that somehow has grown beyond the point of simple politeness between acquaintances, and I know this is going to make it impossible for me to make friends or finding work opportunities through contacts, and it drives me up the wall when I start thinking about it.
I don't want people to think I'm weird or sick, so I'm trying to be as friendly as possible in real life, but I never text the people I meet, because I literally have no idea what should I say, or what amount of texting is appropriate.
I really don't think there are other mentally healthy adults who struggle with things like that because most people learn how to manage human connection in high school (at least that's the impression I get), and after you turn 18 everyone kind of expects you to have this figured out. I have no reason to consider that I have any mental abnormalities, so I probably just failed as a human being.
I can relate. One thing that helped me was the acronym “FORD” to remind me of topics I might bring up: family, occupation, recreation, dreams/plans. Just an idea
Same. I find it fairly easy to approach and talk with people, but maintaining connections is a challenge for me too. What’s the next step? Do we exchange numbers? Do I call them so we can chat on the phone? Do we plan to go have lunch or check out some local event? I want to know how to cultivate friendship, which seems hard at 50+ when people seem to be already ‘friended-up’, like their circle is all set.
You're not alone in this. I'm pretty much in the same boat. In fact there are probably millions and millions of people with the same exact scenario. Life isn't fair and we all get different upbringings and I've settled on the fact that if I'm doing the best that I know I can do everyday, whatever happens is what happens. This life is very short, so just be thankful for the blessings in your life and like I said, just do the best that you can do.
Yes!! Read that book! Use her techniques and it will work. I've read it 3 times and follow the methods all the time
By keeping in touch with a woman I met briefly at a cocktail party, about two years and two moves later- we went on a date.
Allllllnost proposed to her but no relationship survives law school. But it was a really beautiful relationship. Just by asking questions over a pot luck table. You never know who will weave back into your life
Go propose!
Value added to me, my friend. Thank you ❤. I also assumed like a previous comment that you had billions of subscribers.
bro i love your vids so much plz dont stop making them
It took me decades to learn to talk to people, and everything you’re saying is so true! Really good advice. Too bad I didn’t have this video 30 years ago, but I eventually got there, and I can use the encouraging reinforcement. Good stuff
Good tips. Love the one about how you just chat with someone like you know them
Sound effects are the cherry on top 🤩
Phenomenal video. I’ve been watching a lot of videos on how to put myself out there and talk to people better, and there has been a lot of overlap between those videos, but none of them have even once mentioned most of the tips you gave here.
I especially liked your tips on not acting like you’re bothering them, treating them like an old friend, being persistent to find that inner child, and _especially_ especially the one about dressing loudly. That sounds like so much fun, I’m definitely going to try it out next time I go out with friends.
This is a video I’m gonna be revisiting a lot. Incredible job, keep up the good work.
I watched a video of yours some weeks earlier and was blown away by your authenticity,
I'm at a point where I don't need to watch videos like these but your content just feels so genuine and you look like you're having so much fun saying and recording, I can't help but smile
this stuff is brilliant man and you're damn right some days you don't wanna talk to people cause you're tired and you'll be back eventually
Thank you Edward Norton, this video is very helpful. By the way, you were awesome in Fight Club.
This video struck a chord with me. It’s refreshing to hear tips from someone who is still learning about confidence. The viewers’ perspective feels valid. I instantaneously subscribed! Keep it up!
THIS IS VERY HELPFUL. it's not something that those typical "how to talk to ppl" videos say. thanks for sharing new insights and practical tips! ❤
treat them like an old friend is the best advice
Love your video and applicable and clear advice! And for keeping it real, reminding us that it’s not always black-and-white, it’s ok to do better some days better than others. ❤
Halloween! I have had some of my most transformative experiences when I had an awesome Halloween costume on and there was no where to hide.
Thank you. My biggest mistake is interrupting someone while still talking because i am trying not to forget what to response, which i try to avoid another mistake by just responding, that’s cool, or oh nice. Which i hate because I just don’t know what to reponse which leads to conversation dying down
ADD?
I was at the gym and a guy played sax cuz the staff asked him to. I ran out and asked his number. Now 1.5 years later he sold me his tenor, and let me borrow his alto and about to let me borrow his soprano saxophones. All from just saying hi and introducing myself to him
Great concept, and a big need. Thank you
Love it. Honest. Straightforward and helpful. Thank you
Great video. Many familiar points, but you're offering a new angle. Also, your style is very easy to listen to.
Thank you. The topic is really important, and you approached that from a rather useful angle. I'd add even more practical advice, but you did a great job on that already.
im 38 now and i have become completely antisocial over the years, i think cannabis has a lot to do with it, plus i worked in a very busy shop for many years and i had lots of social interactions everyday, by the time i finished work i just wanted to be alone. now i spend every day alone and rarely speak to anybody, i quit my last job ro get away from bad influences (i managed to quit weed, gambling and tobacco and started exercising a lot, but ive became lonely). great video, i will try to speak to a random person.
Very cool that you kicked bad habits.
I consider myself pretty good at socializing ot even very good. I'm pretty introverted and very private but most people wouldn't know that if they saw me in action at social events.
All this to say is that there's some very good points from this video that I can add to my repetoire! Some points that I haven't heard before that I feel are refreshing. No corny one liners or anything like that. Just genuine communication and ideas.
This video is gold! So many great tips that I didn't know about! Now the hard part is actually remembering to do these things in the moment.... ehehe
Thank you!!! Amazingly helpful stuff. I’ve been having a hard time feeling isolated and alone in grad school. I’m going to use these tips to make some new friends and finally talk to my gym crush lol
Thank you so much for sharing this information 🙏🙏❤️
Great Video, gonna take your advice to the hearth.
I often struggle when the first contact isn't going well and it often sets the tone for future interactions with the person. Am gonna try not to sulk in this feeling and keep an open mind
I find when I intentionally withhold my self from social engagement I am practicing social selfishness. Acknowledging a stranger in a public setting, when appropriate, is exercising generosity, even compassion in some instances. You don't know who is literally starving for some social interaction.
Great advice, thank you Mr Lin
I appreciate this video. I’m hoping you might do a video on how to cultivate friendships? Especially when it seems like everyone already has their friend circles.
I find it fairly easy to approach and talk with people, but maintaining the connection is a challenge for me. What’s the next step? And the next step after that? Do we exchange numbers? Do I call them so we can chat on the phone? Do we plan to go have lunch or check out some local event? How do I continue to get to know them, hoping they want to continue to get to know me?
This is great! I struggle with this and gave me a tool to communicate with
Number one key is self acceptance and self love. If you have that you won’t feel like you are bothering others.
Edit:- the method worked for me to be self accepting is studying and understanding what is self acceptance and why selfishness is necessary.
Then I studied Alan Watts teachings and Taoism and other stuff.
Islam and Buddhism is literally the same thing so if you want you can study any of those secularisms. Contrary to the popular belief those are not religions. But rather those two rejects religious teachings like rituals and stuff.
The synchronicity is insane.
You speak with such clarity
Random youtuber, solving all problems...
How dare you?😂
Glad it’s still legal for non “experts” to present knowledge/wisdom!
His gonna ruin all corporates that make money from our insecurities 😤
You seem the kind of person that's enjoyable talking to. Keep up the good vibes! :D
Woah this was incredibly valuable. Thank youuuu new sub ❤
No ad to skip at beginning. Wonderful! You are cute and smart! I like your style. You have good energy, and your expertise is impressive. Keep making vids. They will create a strong legacy. Oh, and I see what you did, making sure a single leaf of your plant is illuminated. A very Japanese feel to your chamber, the care you invested. You made the space ideal for revelation.
Just subscribed because you’re part of the solution! Cheers
Wow, this is great! That's the second time I've seen you pop up with a banger, this definitely earns a sub and more viewers imo, because this feels like a video from a 100k+ channel. Also, I agree with some of the other comments here that you're a really great speaker. Not only do you speak clear, with a comfortable pace, and enticing (without being annoyingly high energy), but it feels like you naturally have flowing, supportive body language too. Combine that with the fact that you seem to really have a grasp on the subject, and it makes it really nice to listen to you talk.
I think it's true by the way, that we do all have that outgoing person somewhere inside of us. You've reminded me of mine. Lately I've been falling a bit too much into my isolated and introverted side myself, and I appreciate you trying to pull people like me toward the opposite. It's not naturally my default mode, but I do remember what it feels like and I want to get back to it. Also, I appreciate the book references, might have to look into those.
More videos like this please!
I want to frame this comment on my wall. Thanks very much! 🙏 You pointed out several aspects of my video-making process that I pour a lot of attention into, and it motivates me to work even more on communicating clearly.
It's not my default mode either. I'm glad it inspired you!
Woah, I just assumed you had millions of subscribers lol. Keep it up i guess! 😅
Every great has a beginning
same! ive seen a couple of his videos, they have great titles and thumbnails
this is one of the best videos on the topic 🎉
This is gold!
6:18 when you said get close I moved 6 feet back haha but seriously this is very helpful video as a socially anxious person 😅
You are great at this , thank you for your advise ❤❤❤
Advice is spelled with a c , you know
I like to start with "Hey! How've u been?" .. now they are thinking, "Do I know this person?" By approaching them in good spirits, it tells them that if they do know me, it must be on good happy terms, and they reciprocate in kind. 😊
one of the best videos!
Great tips. Thank you
Thanks for the positivity bro ❤ just subscribed
more value out of this video than expected because of the views. great points, great refresher.
It's so true.
Thank you for a beautiful wake up call❤
Thank you for this video
Hugely underrated channel, you look like a guy I know but give 200x better advice than he does lmao
Most racist compliment😬
Hahaha “I see you. I see you and you and you and you.”😂😂
Thank you ❤️
I grew up in what once was a small town and talking to random people was a habit for me, I say was because I had a cultural shock once I moved to northern Europe and people there don't talk to each other and it was weird, the conversations get stagnant very fast because they don't even expect a stranger to talk to them out of the blue
Slow down when you speak to them. I kniow English is often great there but most aren't native English speakers. I learned that living in NL.
desire to connect = desire to not make enemies
Awesome video thank you
great video with useful tips!
Hello good friend, this was a very refreshing video on the topic.
Im practising one of the skills on you. 😂
Looking forward to more videos on this topic.
Great content
Great video and great way to improve your life
Super good video. Thanks.
I am very pleased to listen to you, your thoughts and your recommendations, analyzing my own behavior and communication habits along the way
I would like to mention that there are some minor disturbances in the audio of your video (and I think you already know about it, but I still wanted to say it. just in case 👉👈). I hope that your future videos will not have these static squeaks, as it could be very distracting and quite annoying
anyway, thank you for the video. and I wish you good luck ❤
Thank you! Yeah you’re right! I live next to radio stations and government buildings and there is constant electrical interference 🙄 I’m going to try a different location.
Not bothering people has been the most crushing fear of my life. I try to be invisible
😭 oh boy I know the feeling. I’m working on a video that touches on this now.
very nice video
People dont talk in the city because of ongoing stress and defense mechanisms for safety. Even a dog has a defense mechanism. Kick it and it feels pain and fear. Approach it and it tries to keep away. Chase it so it cant get away and it shows its teeth anger. Keep coming and it bites violence. People do the same thing. Realize that everyone has been hurt and everyone has a defense mechanism. Its sad but true.
Thank you :)
Great advice.
I mean, if they're wearing headphones in public, sometimes it's because they don't want to be bothered. My girlfriend does this expressly so that people will be disinclined to interrupt her.
I used headphones, I don't mind if someone talks to me. I wouldn't take social advice from someone who thinks like that.
“They look mean” 😆
Huh, very interesting, thank you
Good stuff!
When I talk to my closest friends I walk into their place and sit down for a few minutes until I'm ready to talk
Tim and Eric ❤
Good luck trying to do that in Japan with their fake social politeness and high level introspection.
2:50 that’s me, I do this, I’m this person. But don’t be put down by this. I’m a miserable goblin type character and would do this to anyone. Just dismiss em and move on. Like he said it’s rare.
I truly wish the world would just be accepting of quiet serious people. It's talked about like it's some sort of disease. I don't like to speak with people very much and I don't like to joke around. What's so wrong about that? Why do I need to change because you feel awkward in silence?
bold of you to assume that I can talk
My mom: don’t talk to strangers
This guy: how to talk to strangers
If I’m wearing headphones, I 100% don’t want to be spoken to.