@@oh-not-the-bees7872 Either a kid or a "nerd geek weirdo" trope whose only character trait is that they're geeky. Also literally no one else in these shows' universes plays video games
"Billy. I wish you'd stop playing those violent video games." "But Mom!!!! This one is call MurderMania. The more people you kill, the more points you get!" [cue poorly researched Law & Order episode that blames video games for murder and/or some sort of sexual assault]
It's something I associate with System Shock 2 and Deus Ex, so it always feels anachronistic when later games still think basketball courts will blow the player's mind.
@@Popebug Well in Systemshock 2 you grab the basketball in the tutorial.... and have to hold it until you reach the 6 deck of the ship. And what did you get if you hit the basketball in that sport section where the tranzmitter stand. an audiolog with a screaming monkey...
Given that you have your male friend killed and your female friend betraying you during the ending fight for the McGuffin, this game is actually disturbingly similar to Daikatana. But I can't compare those games without my buddy Superfly
I think the fact that the devs put 80 seconds of un-skippable dialogue directly after a 75 second wait for a crane to move shows they were deliberately and with pinpoint precision, being assholes.
Makes me wonder how the heck Valve in Half Life pulled off several minutes of absolutely nothing followed by walking and procedures for another few minutes and not have any of it tedious or pointless.
@@a.k8185 *plays half-life* *gets wow'd by fancy new real time talking npc's and other set piece tech bullshit that takes ages to finnish* *replays half-life* "Hurry the fuck up and let me shoot shit, i'm not missing anything, i already know what's going on."
I want it on black-blue-red solid color tank-tops. '2 Guns, 0 F&cks' 'John Carmack is a - ' jokes, all of them 'IT'S RAW!' 'Nice f&ckin' model! Honk-honk!' 'Who wants some WANG?' 'Raw Sewer Count: ' 'The City Council---yEaH!' 'Sometimes, Dead is Better'
They were going to call it The Evil Corporation, but that just ended up being so redundant that they shortened it down. Still conveys the exact same meaning.
"Red to black, friend of Jack." (Milk snake) "Red to yellow, kill a fellow." (Coral snake) I live in the South and that info saved me when I was young.
@Drumslav Czechisenko Bro, I don't know what you're smoking, but this game looks like shit smeared in Vaseline for 2007. That was the year Bioshock, Half Life 2: Ep. 2, S.T.A.L.K.E.R., and Halo 3 were released. This game looks and plays awful for 2007. It would've been impressive in 2002. Maybe. MAYBE.
@Drumslav Czechisenko Correction: They had an actual budget. You didn't even address what I was saying. You just deflected due to your massive butthurt.
@Drumslav Czechisenko I disagree that it's impressive, but you're free to think otherwise. The context of comparison for the time and technology just antiquates the game's qualities beyond the pale too much for me to be impressed. It's a very "of its time" but lower quality kind of game. There's indie devs in basements in Eastern Europe making better games now with virtually no budget whatsoever. Maybe I'm just a jaded asshole with no sense of wonder.
I've been awake for a couple of days so I'm basically just caffeine wearing the man I was as a suit, and these cutscenes make perfect sense to me. 10/10 voice acting and writing.
@@ilovecats200 I was sure, but at the time Hubbardium didn't sounds so bad. I mean Hubbardium is pretty cool right? Hubbardium is the reason we're here. HUBBARDIUM.
there was once a Florida man who called the cops to ask how much trouble he'd get in if he got caught cooking his meth... and there was another Florida man who took his meth to the police to have them check if it was safe to use, or if his dealer had given him bad product... so there are folks exactly that stupid.
@@gam8ero376 già, forse un giorno dovrei recensire anche io qualche FPS perché sono abbastanza fan del genere. Al momento ho fatto principalmente platformers,puzzle,horror... Se vuoi te ne posso consigliare alcuni
Reference like this are a rare breed and I think that’s what exactly is what exactly you do with it and I don’t know what exactly you are saying but you know that I’m trying to tell you something very important but not a good idea to do it so publicly what you are talking about you know it was a good thing I know what I do with you I know babe I don’t know what I want you like you I love it you don’t have a good dude dude I’m just kidding dude I’m just so mad I love don’t like it I’m just bored and I’m I love ❤️ so funny and I’m so glad 😀 and I love you so much babe I hope you had some great day help me out with this please I need help with this and I’m sorry I’m just bored and I’m tired sorry I don’t think 🤔 is doing ok 👍 I’m not trying anything to get you I don’t wanna get on the phone 📲 I’m sorry I’m about having the time
Alexander Pichushkin, one of the most prolific russian serial killers, was also using a hammer, and he did his things in around the same time this game was released... Coincidence? I think not.
Oh God I remember playing this game like 15 years ago and thought at first "Okay it's not that bad" Then Paolo came in in his weird italian accent fake yelling "Porca Putana!" Every two seconds...it was hell... Never heard of the game again...until now... So thanks Civvie!
Despite the fact that you sound like you're dead inside, you're so good at conveying so much emotion without changing the tone or pace of how you speak. Clap clap clap.
It's like Doom 3's level design but I'll give them the credit for at least not making it constantly dark and having you to rely on a shitty flashlight that forces you to unequip your weapon whenever you use it, and whenever enemies are nearby you aren't shooting blindly around a pitch black corridor having to gamble the amount of ammo you waste before you hit anything.
I love how Livia just refuses to sit still in the intro. She'll sit for like 5 seconds, get up, pose on the table, and then sit down again in a painful loop.
@Drumslav Czechisenko So Czech women have to painstakingly reposition themselves during conversations, standing up just to sit on tables and sitting back down in chairs like they've got fleas on their snatch hair and just can't get comfortable?
@@BigPuddin this has to be the most hilarious explanation to Livia in the prologue, gj, would buy you a beer if I ever get a job and be in drinking age
The devs went all the way to design those tight combat suits but didn't give Livia more butt shots in that scene? I mean, come on, at least go all the way and show off those cheeks you modeled. And it isn't even that bad for a slav jank studio in 2007.
"What's your superpower?" "I can become bulletproof and partially invisible." "Bro that's amazing you for real?" "But only when I'm leaning awkwardly to the side." "GET OUT"
**throws basket ball** **basket ball rebounds of the wall, then hits his shoulder** **DEAD** I don’t know about you, CV11, but this is a Slavic masterpiece in my eyes.
This is why The Great B-Ball Purge happened, man. If some random jack with no experience can accidentally brain himself with a wild B-ball, imagine what a trained baller capable of the Chaos Dunk could do!
Fun fact: I work with a guy who speaks almost 1:1 as Paolo and with all the weird things he told to me throughout those last few months, I honestly can't tell whether he's a bookcase of a legit intelligent person with a rich & valuable inner life, who just can't express themselves with their limited vocabulary (Portuguese being his native language and very broken English his second)... or if he took way to many drugs in his youth :D
"You've said Hubbardium more times than I can milk a joke about it and let me tell you HONK HONK RAW SEWER COUNT." I don't know why I didn't pick up on this line the first time I saw it. Might be one of the funniest lines in the history of the show.
"This is what Hubbardium does to people." The demo was much, much more enjoyable just thinking that the hammer's name was Hubbardium, and it had a mind of its own. The game, I had hoped, would be the PC somberly reflecting on the rampage upon life done by the independent will of the item.
It seems to be by accident because of how English works? Like you wouldn't say Dr. Dre in English as you would in Czech with (i assume 3 different sounds, D,R and E). You'd actually say it as Dr. Dře with most American accents.
Perfect Amiga emulation remains impossible on to this very day. That's no joke.. I tried it regularly for many years on very powerful PCs, and I know the Amiga very intimately. Also you got to take into account, that there are many Amiga games, which never actually ran nice, not even on the most powerful original Hardware, because the Amiga stems from an era, where it was great to just have a game of a given type and genre (no matter how bad it run), instead of having none.
This is one of those games I saw in a magazine back in 2007 and thought: "hm, it doesn't look that bad. I'd like to check it out", and been wanting to check it out ever since. Even bought it on Steam and never played it. I've always had this curiosity about this game that was just strong enough for me to keep it in my mind, but not strong enough to make me actually install and launch it, when there's so many undoubtedly better games out there. And now I'm watching this video.
@Manek Iridius some of us have jobs that prevent us to play something immediately, and some of us also have anhedonias that kick in when we finally do get the free time.
As an Italian, I must say it's refreshing to hear an Italian charcter actually voiced by an Italian dude with an actual Italian accent, even if it's terrible lol
Hello, Czech republican here - you won't even notice my comment in 2000 of other comments, but I still wanted to send you greetings from our small country, since Civvie spoke about us in this episode :)
@@xmm-cf5eg no Arma had proper Pole indication like real military telling me the polar direction. North South etc. Arma 3 is bullshit, half the time I dont even know shit where the Morons yelling "Left Right Front" like a bunch of airsoft LARPers are at
Paulo's accent is like every South American country, half the Mediterranean, a little West African, a little Middle East, and a tiny bit of Eastern European thrown into a blender, but like not blended well so certain ones stick out distinctly at any given moment
I like that Katie just dropped an MGS 3 reference on top of that other MGS reference Civvie made and became Para Medic explaining what the hell is a Coral Snake
I find it hilarious how Randy Bitchford decided to do exactly and precisely this with making the player wait an eternity while mind-numbing dialogue plays in the background near constantly in Borderlands 3, except unlike in this game, none of it's skippable.
Just once, I'd love for one of these things to take place in a retro Flash Gordon "swords and space" universe. Also, I rather appreciate Katie's herpetology knowledge.
I think that's an in-joke between Civvie and me. On the last video, I told him I hated him as a joke because he put so much text on screen that I had to translate.
I remember playing the demo for this back in the day. I was like "This sucks. I hope a future boomer makes a video shitting on it", and now look at me.
I love how when he’s talking about baby death races, says it’s not what you think, then explains what you were thinking, it forces you to stop and consider the other possibilities. Genius
I love games that look like they'd be on a tv in the background of a Law and Order episode
I know that feeling
*kid mashes every button randomly*
@@oh-not-the-bees7872 Either a kid or a "nerd geek weirdo" trope whose only character trait is that they're geeky. Also literally no one else in these shows' universes plays video games
They leveled up
"Billy. I wish you'd stop playing those violent video games."
"But Mom!!!! This one is call MurderMania. The more people you kill, the more points you get!"
[cue poorly researched Law & Order episode that blames video games for murder and/or some sort of sexual assault]
Basketball courts were the ultimate "this game has physics" thing to put in your game.
It's something I associate with System Shock 2 and Deus Ex, so it always feels anachronistic when later games still think basketball courts will blow the player's mind.
@@Popebug Well in Systemshock 2 you grab the basketball in the tutorial.... and have to hold it until you reach the 6 deck of the ship. And what did you get if you hit the basketball in that sport section where the tranzmitter stand. an audiolog with a screaming monkey...
@@Popebug Let's not forget the basketball section of Thief I...
SPIDERMAN 2 ENTER ELECTRO ON THE PS1
I think I still have a video on my channel of me killing myself with a basketball ball in this game.
EDIT: Yes I do.
" I understand the logic behind it because I once called the cops on my friend who ran a meth lab that I ran." civvie confirmed for midwesterner
"I can't leave without my buddy Paolo..."
Oh. GOD.
@@q1q2q23 [Dies]
"Arnieeeee! Porcabuttana mannaggialamiseria!"
Paolo Superfly... that name just rolls, doe'nt it?
"Me cant rivederci with no high bombini Super Paolo"
Given that you have your male friend killed and your female friend betraying you during the ending fight for the McGuffin, this game is actually disturbingly similar to Daikatana.
But I can't compare those games without my buddy Superfly
I think the fact that the devs put 80 seconds of un-skippable dialogue directly after a 75 second wait for a crane to move shows they were deliberately and with pinpoint precision, being assholes.
Makes me wonder how the heck Valve in Half Life pulled off several minutes of absolutely nothing followed by walking and procedures for another few minutes and not have any of it tedious or pointless.
@@magnusm4 Because Half-Life was the first game to do something like this
Honing the asshole craft.
@@vulture8298 its still not boring even after 24 years
@@a.k8185 *plays half-life*
*gets wow'd by fancy new real time talking npc's and other set piece tech bullshit that takes ages to finnish*
*replays half-life*
"Hurry the fuck up and let me shoot shit, i'm not missing anything, i already know what's going on."
"Is it a T Pose even if he's cut in half?"
I guess it's more of a + pose.
lol yeah I was thinking either a plus pose or a lower case T pose
How about a - pose.
it depends on in what angle he got cut in half. if it's vertical then Γ or ㅓ would be more aproriate.
Well thats kinda adorable. I mean, as adorable as a torso can be.
I was thinking more along the lines of a lowercase t
I love them trying to build up a whole mystery about CORAL SNAKE when there's, like, four characters in the whole game.
Paolo was the real coral snake, he's "always with you"
I really wanted to read Katie's snake rant and now I'm fuggen sad
24:37 "fuck bitches, get Hubbardium"
I love how Civvie cracks up at his own line. Also I want that on a shirt
That's a really geniune laugh xD
I'm actually shocked that civvie doesn't have stupid meme merch with this being the first shirt
I want it on black-blue-red solid color tank-tops.
'2 Guns, 0 F&cks'
'John Carmack is a - ' jokes, all of them
'IT'S RAW!'
'Nice f&ckin' model! Honk-honk!'
'Who wants some WANG?'
'Raw Sewer Count: '
'The City Council---yEaH!'
'Sometimes, Dead is Better'
Damn I would buy it too...
I feel like we should get a “sorry Katie” counter going
who's Katie, do anybody know?
@@hannibalburgers477 I guess the editor. Also speaking of counters anyone know when the sewer count started?
@@hannibalburgers477 Legend Has It, Civvies Sister
This must be Katie's punishment for... something! Civvie, what did Katie do to deserve this cruel and unusual punishment?
It's 17 times, btw.
Thought it would be more...
The voice acting of this game makes me think it was done by people high on hubbardium.
I don't think Tom cruise was involved...
Woah, are they all hackers?
The voice acting sounds phoned in. And I mean that literally.
It's like they're just reading off the Wikipedia article for hubbardium
Is it even voice acting? Sounds like text to speech to my ear.
Poster for something called "The Corporation"
Every character proceeds to refer to it as "The Company"
Maybe it's full name is Corporation Company Incorporated.
CorpCo Inc.
Corporation Syndicated CompanyCo and Sons.
@@DashingSteel LLC
They were going to call it The Evil Corporation, but that just ended up being so redundant that they shortened it down. Still conveys the exact same meaning.
Don’t you just love how the herpetology lesson from Katy is much more interesting than the actual story of the scene going on in the background
"Red to black, friend of Jack." (Milk snake)
"Red to yellow, kill a fellow." (Coral snake)
I live in the South and that info saved me when I was young.
@Nope Nope lol yeah... Even the plants like gympy gympy ( I think) are dangerous
That whole "milk snake VS coral snake" discussion was also a Codec Call from MGS3.
I'd assume that's where Katie got the gag from.
In south america there are coral snakes that look identical to a milk snake so yeah the herptology leson was half right
@@13akful the variability of South American and Asian coral snakes are definately much more diverse compared to the American coral snakes
I’m on a Civvie binge and I’m living for it
Just be careful, I hear the side effects include nausea, vomiting and inexplicable rage at veteran industry sleazeballs.
Fuck it Im watching all his videos again
Welcome to the dungeon
You may think this is a binge but no, this is your life now
Lucky you, kinda wish I could binge for the first time again.
"I'm 'it, therefore I've been killed" - the wisdom of Paolo
*proceeds to speak Italian with extremely heavy Slavic accent*
@@BigPuddin This.
@@BigPuddin nigerian accent. Voiceactor is a pitchblack dude. Dude is so black when he stands behind you people mistake him for your shadow
Oh, hey bebe.
@@boilerhousegarage i wish that dude would do a audiobook
Civvie: "This is still just the opening cutscene"
Me: "Holy fucking shit"
@Drumslav Czechisenko Bro, I don't know what you're smoking, but this game looks like shit smeared in Vaseline for 2007. That was the year Bioshock, Half Life 2: Ep. 2, S.T.A.L.K.E.R., and Halo 3 were released. This game looks and plays awful for 2007. It would've been impressive in 2002. Maybe.
MAYBE.
@Drumslav Czechisenko Correction: They had an actual budget.
You didn't even address what I was saying. You just deflected due to your massive butthurt.
@Drumslav Czechisenko So instead we get a shitty game that wants to be a shitty movie. The identity crisis here is amazing.
@Drumslav Czechisenko I disagree that it's impressive, but you're free to think otherwise. The context of comparison for the time and technology just antiquates the game's qualities beyond the pale too much for me to be impressed. It's a very "of its time" but lower quality kind of game. There's indie devs in basements in Eastern Europe making better games now with virtually no budget whatsoever. Maybe I'm just a jaded asshole with no sense of wonder.
"Paolo is what happens when you run 2 languages through Google translate at the same time." Beautiful.
Paolo is also my first name...
No. He's a actual Italian, try to talk english without know it XD
"Paolo not here, I'm a mistake" Oh God. It's becoming self aware. 🤣
I've been awake for a couple of days so I'm basically just caffeine wearing the man I was as a suit, and these cutscenes make perfect sense to me. 10/10 voice acting and writing.
There's enough caffeine in me to kill a horse, and this may be the best game I've ever seen
are you sure it is caffeine and not hubbardium?
@@ilovecats200 I was sure, but at the time Hubbardium didn't sounds so bad. I mean Hubbardium is pretty cool right? Hubbardium is the reason we're here. HUBBARDIUM.
Finally, more than 20 years later; finally: somebody gets it! Hell!
Get some sleep😂😂😂
"I once called the police on a friend of mine who ran a meth lab that I ran."
there was once a Florida man who called the cops to ask how much trouble he'd get in if he got caught cooking his meth... and there was another Florida man who took his meth to the police to have them check if it was safe to use, or if his dealer had given him bad product... so there are folks exactly that stupid.
@@RipOffProductionsLLC I mean... those two examples you gave are actually far more stupid.
it's like Ricky from trailer park boys calling the cops about his dope plants but blaming Cory and Trevor
@@useroffline6641 Civvie's got his grade 10.
Yeah, I heard this and I knew... Civvie is Crazy-8 from Breaking Bad.
Here in Italy the cutscene with Paolo is legendary for how bad it is in both languages ! it's an honor too see you talking about it Civvie!
Il “Porco zio” stende lmao
@@gam8ero376 porca troia si
Io è tramite Civvie che ho ho conosciuto giochi come DUSK? Te?
@@SirVolt io grazie a lui mi son preso il bundle di Hexen e sto facendo mezzo pensiero per qualche altro Build Game tipo Blood se lo trovassi OG
@@gam8ero376 già, forse un giorno dovrei recensire anche io qualche FPS perché sono abbastanza fan del genere.
Al momento ho fatto principalmente platformers,puzzle,horror...
Se vuoi te ne posso consigliare alcuni
@@SirVolt di FPS? Perché quelli ne conosco abbastanza, sono giocatore “avanzato” diciamo, non veterano ma avanzato
This is as close to a Xavier: Renegade Angel game we can get
botline giami
Reference like this are a rare breed and I think that’s what exactly is what exactly you do with it and I don’t know what exactly you are saying but you know that I’m trying to tell you something very important but not a good idea to do it so publicly what you are talking about you know it was a good thing I know what I do with you I know babe I don’t know what I want you like you I love it you don’t have a good dude dude I’m just kidding dude I’m just so mad I love don’t like it I’m just bored and I’m I love ❤️ so funny and I’m so glad 😀 and I love you so much babe I hope you had some great day help me out with this please I need help with this and I’m sorry I’m just bored and I’m tired sorry I don’t think 🤔 is doing ok 👍 I’m not trying anything to get you I don’t wanna get on the phone 📲 I’m sorry I’m about having the time
@@superniger4822 shut up
@@sirsnausages2164 you stfu imagine being a woman 👩🏼
@@Kong20012 😔I apologize
The player character might be written like a distillation of an angst filled teenager's diary but god damn can he swing a hammer.
That's almost glitch crowbar speed, sadly without the thomp!
KREED sends its regards!
He's also a gun-toting, one manned army named Arnold. Intentional Hollywood action reference or no, that "Hey, Arnold" line has to be a reference.
Imagine young Arnold if middle aged Arnold is this in shape...
Alexander Pichushkin, one of the most prolific russian serial killers, was also using a hammer, and he did his things in around the same time this game was released...
Coincidence? I think not.
@@quint3ssent1a was he the one that filmed three guys one hammer? Or is that someone else? Lol
Oh God I remember playing this game like 15 years ago and thought at first "Okay it's not that bad"
Then Paolo came in in his weird italian accent fake yelling "Porca Putana!" Every two seconds...it was hell...
Never heard of the game again...until now...
So thanks Civvie!
TBH I couldn't decide if Paolo was Italian or Spanish like I have no fucking clue what that accent is
@@ThreeNinjaDucks I can, as the V.A. is Davide Dominici and he's italian. That's the real italian accent.
@@midorifox man he's so bad at voice acting I thought it was a different voice
Didn't expected to see you here comrade
@@ThreeNinjaDucks He spoke actual italian half the time. But honestly his performance is on par with the rest of the game's cast
Despite the fact that you sound like you're dead inside, you're so good at conveying so much emotion without changing the tone or pace of how you speak. Clap clap clap.
I swear to god i get ptsd when i hear “A lot of these areas are copied and pasted, whole hallways, rooms so it gets a little confusing”
Same
I’m happy to hear it, it’s like an old friend.
This channel is getting a little self referential though “what’s the time cv 11”
@@vrapbrap Was the hospital layout confusing?
quit winning
It's like Doom 3's level design but I'll give them the credit for at least not making it constantly dark and having you to rely on a shitty flashlight that forces you to unequip your weapon whenever you use it, and whenever enemies are nearby you aren't shooting blindly around a pitch black corridor having to gamble the amount of ammo you waste before you hit anything.
I love how Livia just refuses to sit still in the intro. She'll sit for like 5 seconds, get up, pose on the table, and then sit down again in a painful loop.
@Russ Olson Bad programmed AI ,i guess .
@Drumslav Czechisenko So Czech women have to painstakingly reposition themselves during conversations, standing up just to sit on tables and sitting back down in chairs like they've got fleas on their snatch hair and just can't get comfortable?
@@BigPuddin this has to be the most hilarious explanation to Livia in the prologue, gj, would buy you a beer if I ever get a job and be in drinking age
The devs went all the way to design those tight combat suits but didn't give Livia more butt shots in that scene? I mean, come on, at least go all the way and show off those cheeks you modeled. And it isn't even that bad for a slav jank studio in 2007.
So she's got ADHD
"What's your superpower?"
"I can become bulletproof and partially invisible."
"Bro that's amazing you for real?"
"But only when I'm leaning awkwardly to the side."
"GET OUT"
Zammit. So stupit.
Kind of an aggressive reaction
Is this a calebcity reference?
**throws basket ball**
**basket ball rebounds of the wall, then hits his shoulder**
**DEAD**
I don’t know about you, CV11, but this is a Slavic masterpiece in my eyes.
This is why The Great B-Ball Purge happened, man. If some random jack with no experience can accidentally brain himself with a wild B-ball, imagine what a trained baller capable of the Chaos Dunk could do!
that was totally a foul
honestly that makes the protagonist more relatable than anyone who could handle a b-ball
@@the_birthday_skeleton I read that as “that was totally foul” I thought you were making a pun.
You all know what happens when-
@@youngarchaeotech189 ツ
Coral snakes:
"Red touches black and he's a friend of Jack.
Red touches yellow and he'll kill a fellow!"
Coral Snakes rule! We’re the Coral Snakes and we rule, rule!
I always knew it as, "Red to black, poison lack! Red to yellow, kill a fellow!"
Lol classic
@Something Mildly Homophobic he is a man, not a god
Red next to yellow, cuddly fellow.
Red next to black, jump the fuck back.
I love the "ow ow ow" death sound effect of the grunts. Might as well be Peter griffin hurting his knee
i had to pause and relisten the first time i noticed that! just wonderful
I heard that my first time didn't know whether to be unreasonably fucking angry or laugh.
24:36 "Fuck bitches, get Hubbardium" was so funny in its delivery
I want that phrase on a t-shirt
sigma prime male grindset
for me its the laugh after, it's feels like a outtake they left in to just because of how genuine the reaction was.
I think Civvie is losing whatever little brain mass he has left playing all this slavjank
Good god it'll be all gone if he plays Chrome
These cutscenes are like MGS.
If MGS was slavic, scientology jank.
It's like if the whole cast besides sucking were depressed and stoned.
Which is weird, because Scientology isn't really a thing here in Czechia.
Eh. MGS doesn't stand for Metal Gear Slavjank?
@@GuyOnAChair Knowing Czechs, drunk
@@wisemankugelmemicus1701 they couldn't be Czechs. There isin't enough "kurwa" being yelled out
Fun fact: I work with a guy who speaks almost 1:1 as Paolo and with all the weird things he told to me throughout those last few months, I honestly can't tell whether he's a bookcase of a legit intelligent person with a rich & valuable inner life, who just can't express themselves with their limited vocabulary (Portuguese being his native language and very broken English his second)... or if he took way to many drugs in his youth :D
Despite the fact that IMBD says I’m wrong, I swear that Arnold has the same voice as the President from MGS2
Solidus Snake or George Clinton?
@@Sandlerverse I think mr nobody means president Johnson who was killed by Ocalot.
"WHO -ARE THE PATRIOTS- IS THE CORAL SNAKE?"
Sounds like Bruce Campbell.
no but paolo is phil lamar for sure
"Plot twist, Paolo works for the Company too! Is he also a hacker?" I'm sobbing
God damn it no spoilers please!
Works for the company? Actually a hacker?
Shoot, that's what they all say
@@TayTayMakesBeats stop reading the comments and watch the video
@@uchuserpent322 :(
"You've said Hubbardium more times than I can milk a joke about it and let me tell you HONK HONK RAW SEWER COUNT."
I don't know why I didn't pick up on this line the first time I saw it. Might be one of the funniest lines in the history of the show.
This might be the first time Civvie sounds genuinely, 100% bored end to end. That takes a unique kind of bad.
That would be true for 90% of all games made in Eastern Europe in mid 2000s.
@@telefrag. the last 10% is just STALKER and Vivisection.
TNT Evilution when Civvie, amirite? 😂
@@franzpattison Oh yeah, it takes that kind of bad 😂
@@franzpattison At least you're actually playing TNT instead of watching it.
First mandy, now this?
This day might not be as bad as I thought.
And Mandalore mentioned Civvie in that video. Time to bust out the tin foil.
*ITS ALL CONNECTED!*
I DIDN'T KNOW I SWEAR
@@Momohhhhhh if sseth uploads I'm gonna shit
@@Civvie11 You're part of the cycle now civvie.
You gained brozouf.
I love how the best part of the game was Katie's impromptu lesson on coral snakes.
"It's like Blood"
-Civvie11 on Alpha Prime
FAKE NEWS
@@q1q2q23 HE SAID IT
WHAT IS CONTEXT
@@VileNature NO IDEA SOUNDS LIKE LIBERAL NONSENSE TO ME
"This is what Hubbardium does to people." The demo was much, much more enjoyable just thinking that the hammer's name was Hubbardium, and it had a mind of its own. The game, I had hoped, would be the PC somberly reflecting on the rampage upon life done by the independent will of the item.
Paolo saying "I am a mistake" just makes me want to say "YOU GOT THAT RIGHT"
Two minutes in and I'm thinking "this could use a Hubbardium counter" and I wasn't disappointed
Civvie: "I'm always with you"
-Ad for AFK Arena of three scantily clad women dancing-
Me: "I'm getting mixed signals here, UA-cam".
I got a fuckin RAID ad, so it felt appropriate. Always haunting youtube.
This is MST3K levels of hubris and incompetence at just the right levels. It's almost perfect.
This is literally just the Room.
*YOURE TEARING ME APART OLIVIA!*
Hahah, that's very funny Warren, so anyway how is your sex life?
There was this Glomar guy, used to date a dozen prospectors. One of them found out about it and bit him so bad he ended up in the mine on Alpha Prime
I did not hit her, that is bullshit, I did not hit her, I did noooot!
_Oh hai Warren_
The Room is at least fun to watch, even if it is objectively awful.
This just seems like a pain.
The writer and director of this game are bootleg versions of Hideo Kojima. This is freaking gold. I love it .
I would honestly enjoy some kind of bootleg janky Kojima game, as long as the gameplay is engaging.
Hideo Kojima is bootleg Hideo Kojima
Hideo Kojima bootlegs are a breed of their own, alright.
@@kankeydong2500 it's very difficult to take the right amount of acid to get where kojima is at
@@purplefood1 Metal Gear Acid?! Haha, get it?! I'm sorry, the Hubbardium fried my brain.
ngl the drunk guy was pretty good in his voice acting, he sounded drunk
i called him a drunken space man and then found out he was a literal drunken spaceman
so he was doing *something* right
Except everyone sounds drunk in this game
'in those RAHCKS... the frozen RAHCKS'
My dude, that pronunciation of "Ondřej" was ON POINT.
He's diving through slavjank so much, he recognizes slavic languages.
Complained about pronouncing HROT, but nailed Ondřej. I wonder how many times was he shocked before he got the pronounciation right.
it's just slav Andrey
It seems to be by accident because of how English works?
Like you wouldn't say Dr. Dre in English as you would in Czech with (i assume 3 different sounds, D,R and E). You'd actually say it as Dr. Dře with most American accents.
Imagine playing this game, Project Snowblind and Pariah on the same day, then trying to tell them apart a week later
Pariah is all I could think about when watching this review
I really liked project snowblind back in the day. Haven't played it in years though.
lmao
Snowblind is decent in comparison
what about chrome? remember that?
Perfect Amiga emulation remains impossible on to this very day. That's no joke.. I tried it regularly for many years on very powerful PCs, and I know the Amiga very intimately. Also you got to take into account, that there are many Amiga games, which never actually ran nice, not even on the most powerful original Hardware, because the Amiga stems from an era, where it was great to just have a game of a given type and genre (no matter how bad it run), instead of having none.
sniper scope lean got me dead, its like i knew exactly how it feels just from the video
You can tell that when you move your mouse sideways it moves as if you're upright and not tilted, so instead of going sideways it moves at an angle
@@Teethconsumer Relativity is a bitch sometimes. Slav jank doesn't bother to reorient the gun properly and make sure right is right and up is up.
In the middle of this video I got a TikTok ad called "things in my Italian family that just make sense," or some crap. I blame Paolo
Thanks Katie, the coral snake education was the best part of the whole thing
"Is it still a T-pose if he's cut in half?"
No, it's just a very morbid see-saw.
11:22 - "Is it still a T-pose if he's cut in half?"
That's what we call a lowercase T-pose.
a t-pose
@@icecold1805 A т-pose.
But that is his upper half.
@@icecold1805 Make sure your t-poses are sans-serif.
I was just going to call it a shitty T, but fair.
Arnold getting shot point-blank in the face: "Aaah."
This is one of those games I saw in a magazine back in 2007 and thought: "hm, it doesn't look that bad. I'd like to check it out", and been wanting to check it out ever since. Even bought it on Steam and never played it. I've always had this curiosity about this game that was just strong enough for me to keep it in my mind, but not strong enough to make me actually install and launch it, when there's so many undoubtedly better games out there. And now I'm watching this video.
Ditto 🤣
This is one of those games I saw a gameplay video of back in 2007 and thought "wow this shotgun animation looks like shit"
@Manek Iridius some of us have jobs that prevent us to play something immediately, and some of us also have anhedonias that kick in when we finally do get the free time.
@Manek Iridius also steam sales only last so long, sometimes you want to get games while they're cheap
It's worth a go
"I once called the police on a friend who ran a meth lab that I ran." Perfect.
As an Italian, I must say it's refreshing to hear an Italian charcter actually voiced by an Italian dude with an actual Italian accent, even if it's terrible lol
From what I read it was some black dude who wasn't even Italian
Hot take: Paolo's voice-acting is WAAAYYYYY better than almost all other voice-acting in this game.
Yeah, but I can't appreciate it because tha things he says are way too cringe
I was googling "damning with faint praise" and they linked me to this comment.
Hella not wrong tho
The Italian guy's personality is Italian Guy and the black guy's personality is Black Guy.
Sounds like Bombate but older
Agreed, but no one plays with his character so hes essentially acting to dead air.
Hello, Czech republican here - you won't even notice my comment in 2000 of other comments, but I still wanted to send you greetings from our small country, since Civvie spoke about us in this episode :)
devki pozor!
I DOWNVOTE YOU AND YOUR COUNTRY. Sorry. I have no heart, that's a good thing. That and hubbardium.
And what a mention it was...
Pretend Alpha Prime never existed and go full Factorio.
Ya seen the Hrot video yet?
"The final boss is bloom."
*dead*
C'mon, Steve usually only voices side-characters.
That was the final boss of Oblivion, too. And basically any game around this era.
Yup, we got DX9.0c now, so we could do HDR, but we go with the poor mans version instead and put bloom everywhere. Oh, and motion blur.
@@HappyBeezerStudios OH, yeah, buddy. Mid-2000's eye-melting post-process goodness.
@@HappyBeezerStudios I wonder if those early Geforce 256 cards could create bloom with that unused pixel shader 1.0 instructions
I thought I was ready for any voice acting. I wasn't ready.
I thought I was ready for any videogame character. Until I saw Paolo.... :D
That Arnie has the the ArmA default character voice.
The same guy from Czech?
Oh, it's indeed Bohemia.
And a very default face.
@@icedlenin8908 Goddamn it, now we need Kerry suffering in space too
and the voice acting is bad to i wonder why...
I tried, but I can't ever not crack up when the second guy goes 'Shut up Freddie'. Don't even know if that delivery is on purpose but it's grand.
I can't take Arnie's voice seriously without hearing "Enemy. Man AND Missile Soldier. To our FRONT. FAR."
omg i knew i recognized that voice from somewhere ! thanks, i can sleep calmly now
Same exact thought.
Half disappointed I didn't hear "Contact, MACHINEGUNNER, 75m, to the RIGHT OF US"
"2, Enemy Man, TWOHUNNAD METERS, FRONT."
Think he was the protagonist of ArmA 2 as well.
@@xmm-cf5eg no Arma had proper Pole indication like real military telling me the polar direction. North South etc. Arma 3 is bullshit, half the time I dont even know shit where the Morons yelling "Left Right Front" like a bunch of airsoft LARPers are at
TIME TO BLOW SOME SHIT UP
Plot twist - we were high on Hubbardium this whole time.
Spoilers for Alpha Prime: we are all Hubbardium.
@@12ealDealOfficial Everything is Hubbardium.
Truth is: Everything was Hubbardium from the start.
@@Azerkeux
"Wait, it's all Hubbardium?"
"Always has been"
*bang*
I just love that „Quit winning“ clip
"Get some water"
You and I both know whiskey is the only choice.
the boosh
4:42 *"What a waste of alcohol!"*
I'm on my first beer of the morning for this 👍
Katie doing a description of the coral snake kinda over took the moment of paolo's death LOL
The opening cutscene is 20% of this fucking video and the whole thing hurt to watch. Keep up the quality content, Civvie, I'm loving it.
that opening cutscene is amazing. The fact her movement loops at least twice
It's so infuriating. She looks like she has ADHD and can't seem to sit still for longer than 10 seconds at a time.
Remember everyone. Civvie is almost at 300k. You know what that means right? Pro Duke Nukem Forever
But he already did a video on it?
@@crimsonrayquaza46 Correct. It was supposed to be a joke about him playing it a 2nd time. And now after reading it again. I failed. But I tried lol
@@ChrisActual does this mean he has to do daikatana the second time for 400k subs
@@crimsonrayquaza46 Yeah, but he didn't do a pro video on it. Don't know how he could do that, but I also do not know the time.
@@sanity000-x2r Absolutely
Paulo's accent is like every South American country, half the Mediterranean, a little West African, a little Middle East, and a tiny bit of Eastern European thrown into a blender, but like not blended well so certain ones stick out distinctly at any given moment
He's just some random italian tourists saying hilarious shit
I think the emphasis on a leaning mechanic in a hubbardium game is a reference to all the dutch angles used in Battlefield Earth.
"It's a stealth vehicle, or they just didn't have sounds for it" ROFL!
Love that Katie gave us some snake facts half way through. Thank you Katie
Lmao why was the drunk guy the only one trying to voice act
He was probably wasted for real, having to VA for this nonsense.
@@QueenSydon why would he Virginia for this game
Because he was really drunk
Because he.. Wasn't..??
Oh I thought you were referring to the drunk guy throwing the grenade at 23:15
I like that Katie just dropped an MGS 3 reference on top of that other MGS reference Civvie made and became Para Medic explaining what the hell is a Coral Snake
"This isn't interesting"
One of your funniest reviews. I laughed a lot during this video, and that was something I greatly needed. Thanks, Civvie.
"There hasn't been a single mutant this entire goddamn time!"
I love how when Civvie says "coral snake" at 21:07, a Milk Snake pops up, and then Katie gives us the full rundown of Coral Snakes lol
I mean let's be fair, it was way more entertaining then whatever the fuck was actually happening in the game
@@jamesluikart6275 agreed, I was kinda salty when Paolo was shot... The information about Coral snakes was interupted
@@jamesluikart6275 I disagree Paolo is one of the best NPC ever and I already knew that info about coral snakes.
Coal snakes are boring as fuuck.
I find it hilarious how Randy Bitchford decided to do exactly and precisely this with making the player wait an eternity while mind-numbing dialogue plays in the background near constantly in Borderlands 3, except unlike in this game, none of it's skippable.
Borderlands 2 and the pre-sequel are the only really really good games in that series
I love how Katie is now literally Para-medic from MGS 3
You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.
@@Dukster9000 stale
@@Dukster9000 Inconceivable!
@@Dukster9000 What are ya talking about?
@@ArcturusOTE I think he is referring to how she said “literally”
Just once, I'd love for one of these things to take place in a retro Flash Gordon "swords and space" universe.
Also, I rather appreciate Katie's herpetology knowledge.
4:55 All 3 jokes at once. That's a record.
"YOUR TRANSLATORS HATE YOU FOR THIS." Civvie sank his entire editing team for one joke, this is truly the best madhouse.
I think that's an in-joke between Civvie and me. On the last video, I told him I hated him as a joke because he put so much text on screen that I had to translate.
@@AliaImmortalis Ah, which language do you translate if you don't mind me asking? Also thank you for service to said madhouse.
@@FYGUnkleUrple I'm the French translator.
That intro, it's like reading the beginning of Roadside Picnic while taking suspect acid blotter sheets and eating spoiled food.
That's rude to RP, man. ...but tonally accurate.
7:24 when you’re so drunk you don’t realize you’re not holding a glass
"Get a glass of water.. take a piss"
... I'm poopin' Civvie
I'm sure a lot of us are
2:30 Oh my, I know ordered my steak rare, but this appears to be *F__KING RAW!*
Paolo is a weird mix of Portuguese, Spanish and Italian stereotypes
I remember playing the demo for this back in the day. I was like "This sucks. I hope a future boomer makes a video shitting on it", and now look at me.
Yea, not even a Slav pride forced me to get through the first level... It went straight into my Steam trashcan.
CV11 your videos are really helping me thru a time of being alone and making many life changes. Thank you.
Hope you're doing better
I love how when he’s talking about baby death races, says it’s not what you think, then explains what you were thinking, it forces you to stop and consider the other possibilities. Genius
“What is the time CV11?” When subtitles are turned on
The time is 7 ... 7 and a half ...
It's Jank o'Clock
????
That line is burned into my brain;
My poor brain.
@@loganagle746 2:04
Civvie is from R.I... literally everything makes sense now
I always thought he was from Australia.
@@mostverticalproductions4808 as a New Englander id recognize that accent anywhere.
What's R.I.?
@@scarfabledscar rhode island
@@TheRealAtello Thanks.
"THIS IS NOT A DRILL, ALL HANDS ON DECK, WE MAY GET GAME" is so funny to me for some reason
Never seen a sci-fi game that had the tone of _The Young And The Restless_
The Old and the Feckless if we're talking about Arnold here.