Thank you for reminding me that my ADHD is legitimate and worth addressing and getting help with. I often forget that and actively tell myself in unworthy of care and support. Thank you for being a role model for self care.
@@Mintyeon470 I feel this so hard. I'm learning to accept my ADHD and let go of the shame, but it's still difficult seeing how my symptoms affect others. This is an old video but helped me a lot at the time and I still try to remember to do this: ua-cam.com/video/R-k1ggPxEbg/v-deo.html
I get help, every two weeks a cleaner comes over to keep me on track and we work together on some chores. Weekly I also get some time with a person that we could meet socially or do something I think I need to do like cook or something. I've been getting help my whole adult life (35), on a disability pension, and still, have these doubts sometimes, or I almost apologize for getting help or for needing it or asking for it. I second what you said, thanking Jessica for being a role model for self care!
It's crazy how "it won't hurt anyone else and it will help me" isn't a good enough reason for some of us. Hearing someone else say it I'm like yeah absolutely you should do that thing. But when I'm saying that to myself about medication or therapy or whatever, it's not enough to convince myself. Your videos help so many of us who are struggling silently because everything on the surface appears totally fine. Thank you for having the courage to speak openly about your ADHD.
I don’t know who’s you are but I wish you could believe your needs are important. You are important. You matter. Hopefully you ask for help if you need it. Make the world what you needed to be.
Jessica, as someone who has been the boyfriend in this situation for someone who else lost her mom unexpectedly, I can say that one of the best things you two can possibly do is to find a grief support group. Usually run by hospice workers or social workers (ours is in the community VNA), these are incredibly powerful and emotional meetings where you can express your grief and find those who really understand what loss is and how to bear up under it. Your local hospital might have some resources to get you pointed in the right direction. You should bring Raff too, he can learn a lot about how to support you through this and having him there will make it easier to bear going.... I really hope this helps, and my heart goes out to you. *hug* Everyone, could you please like this comment so that Jessica can see it? I'm not looking for attention, but I want her to know this is a resource she can use to help herself. Blessings to all of you fellow brains out there who have gone through this yourselves as well.
Saying things like "I'm so sorry for your loss" doesn't feel like enough. This year has been awful and I wish life wasn't this cruel at points. You are appreciated. Thank you for everything you do. So many people are rooting for you. ❤
There is a notion out there. It says that life will become tragic at some point. Inevitably. And it is of the highest priority to get equipped to handle it. And help others to get prepared too. Because living is both joy, and pain. And the experience, and impacts you have on people and the world have inherent value. And are worth it for the fact that YOU did them.
I know the phrase “I’m sorry for your loss” starts to sound remarkably hollow after a certain point, but I am sorry that on top of a pretty universally Not Good and incredibly unfair year you were dealt an extra dose of bad and unfairness. And I also wanted to say thank you for continuing to be so incredibly vulnerable with us.
I read this comment and was like oh no what’s gonna happen and as soon as I unpaused I was like ok that it what gonna happen and i feel bad for her. She didn’t deserve that to happen.
“It means that I have a disability, and even though I technically do, it feels weird to think about it this way”- this is how I felt requesting accommodations at work and school under the ADA. It feels so strange when so many people don’t see it as a disability and that’s what you’ve now come to believe too - we feel guilty asking for and accepting that we need help because of it. I’m looking forward to seeing you train Chloe and learning more about how service dogs can support us ADHD brains!
@@ZairaBandy ADHD can affect your memory, self care, your ability to complete tasks, having control over emotions, and much more. Even with proper accommodations those will still be struggles.
I'm still nervous because I had (have) hardcore depression and that accomodation was laughed at and I was fired from my career if 13 years. I'm still on the fence about requesting or pretending. If that hadn't happened I would be requesting AND advocating, no doubt about it.🖤🐾👍
As a dog trainer who has ADHD I can say that just being around dogs and going through the process of training and seeing even the most reactive dogs turn around helps a ton. Without my dogs, I don't think I could make it that far. They are the reason I want to do things that I wouldn't normally do Because of my ADHD. That said, I would do it. Who cares what other trainers would say - keep calling somebody until you find somebody worth the expense, it's not just that you need the help, it's that you deserve to be helped. You are worth it. Be cautioned however, a lot of times, personal dogs do not have what it takes to be a service dog. Many do, but many don't. It's not an immediate happening to have a service dog, It's a process - enjoy the process. Anyway - sorry for the long message. I am heartbroken to hear about your mother. That's a hard hit... I wish I could do something to help you, especially since you helped me stop bottling my ADHD up and pretend I didn't have it. Now I'm proud to say I have it. That was because of you. So thank you for everything.
fellow trainer and service dog handler here 👋 Training dog is the only job I have been able to do and not get bored of. I’ve been training for over 8 years and I could barely hold a job for 8 months before that.
Hey Jessica, I don't know if you'll see this but I want you to know: EVEN IF people put you down and don't take you seriously, you should really do this. We support you. You're a leader and a pioneer for us. Edit: wow, thank you for the likes but seriously maybe she will see this? It's unlikely but maybe.
In a lot of ways, my daughter makes my ADHD and anxiety more manageable. She requires me to have more structure for her, to eat on time and bath and brush our teeth- stuff that my husband certainly doesn't need me to do with him. I think Chloe does the same thing for you. She gives you the external stimuli we need to create the routines that don't come naturally to us. I think animals and kids have a lot of parallels in the lives of the people who love them. I grew up on a farm, I've always had a horse, even now I have 4 cats- and animals, for me anyway, are one of the most pure forms of love and caring I can think of. A mother's love is just like that. Your mom's love for you was just the same- you gave her so much joy, probably more than you'll ever know- just like Chloe does for you, and my kiddo does for me. From what we saw of her, you both have that same spark of joy in your smile. You must get that from her. I'm so glad you shared her with us.
Official petition to christen Chloe as the official ADHDog? Also Scientist brain here. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for taking the time to have the COVID info on your video and for taking the steps to find a mask you can tolerate with sensory difficulties. I know it's hard for some (I am lucky that my sensitivities don't much center on my face), but it is so critical. Also, your pupper is wonderful and I am so glad you have a good fit for a support and hopefully eventually service animal in her! This is what I get for commenting before finishing the video. My dear, you are so loved on these internet parts. My heart hurts for you. I am so glad you have a supportive partner through this.
My cat comes to me every time I cry. I adopted her when I got married back in 2008. She's 15 years old now. I hope I can find a way to keep alive forever somehow...
Oh, friend. I am so very sorry for your loss. I cried with you, as I’m sure many of your friends here did. As far as training Chloe, I think it is a great idea! My son has ASD and ADHD and this was something I never realized was an option. When you talk about feeling like you should not need the helps, even though they don’t hurt anyone else, I feel that in my bones. I’ve got severe Psoriatic arthritis and at 36 I’m driving a wheelchair van and using a power wheelchair or scooter most days. I feel like I shouldn’t need it. It hurts to need it. But, when you said it doesn’t hurt anyone else, that changed something for me. I always feel like a burden and inconvenience, but you are right. My wheels don’t hurt anyone else. So, I will face tomorrow with a better attitude thanks to you. This isn’t the first time you’ve helped me. My son and I have benefited from so many of your videos. He and I can sit through lessons and conversations thanks to your ultimate fidget recommendation. I’m learning why I fail at certain things and so I can teach my son how to do them well. You’ve changed our lives. May God bless you for your work! Hugs! ❤️
I have 5 siblings, on of them is my identical twin. I have ADHD, she doesnt. She does have cerebral palsy, her left foot below her ankle is paralyzed. The brother closest in age to us (one year older) also has ADHD, autism and is developmentally delayed. Thank you Thank you so much. My struggle is just as real as theirs, even though to my parents I was "Just the one that can't focus" I am also soo very sorry for your loss.
Do you mind sharing with me what service(s) your dog performs for you? We just lost my husband's diabetic service dog. We are training my dog as a service dog now for multiple disabilities, but I don't know exactly how she can help with ADHD.
You’re a fantastic person, Jessica. I can’t imagine how difficult it is to lose your mom; I only know her from you thanking her in your videos but even just for that, I’m immensely grateful for her and the good she did supporting you which led to the good you do for your audience. You two ladies have made an immense positive impact in others lives, and that lives on in your mama’s memory
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, loss is never something fun to go through but I'm glad that you have someone there with you and that's it's Chloe ❤️
That feeling of having a sibling who's the one who "really" struggles and so you shouldn't need help.... wow, that hit home. I'm so sorry about your mom. I'm glad you'll be able to be with your family. We'll be thinking of you from here
It's almost relieving to know I'm not the only one with the mindset of "well I don't deserve ___ because I don't perceive my suffering as bad as others". I have ADHD and panic disorder and before this video I would definitely recede at the thought of something like a service dog for myself because I think others need it more. In reality it may not matter what condition I have, I might always think I wouldn't be deserving of it. I really hope things work out with training Chloe, I think this may be something I keep in mind for myself now
We could see how much Chloe's mere presence is great solace for you. I know the right trainer is out there for you both. My deepest sympathy on the loss of your mom. A part of her will always be with you.
Both my parents died late last year. My brothers didn’t tell me, and said that it was what my parents wanted. In spite of years of hurt and abuse and them never believing I have ADHD, I was reaching out until and beyond the end. Having a parent die is so hard and weird and feels like there’s no floor. I’m sorry about your mom. I’m sorry about my parents.
Im sorry i lost my parents like that one after another and I can relate to the weird part. I was sad and angry at the same time. I wish I could say something inspirational but I don’t have anything. I just went with the anger.
It’s hard enough, but when your family don’t believe you it’s extra hard! They don’t care why they called me crazy, I begged them to look up adhd and maybe they will understand! Nope never did! The world treats me better than they ever did! 🙏♥️
I'm in my 30s and 3 weeks ago I found out I have ADHD, and 1 week ago I found your channel. Last night, my Mom passed away. I'm still figuring everything out but your guidance and warmth really means a lot. Thank you.
I’m actually training my dog to be my service dog and she’s going to help me with my ADHD, anxiety and sleeping disorder. It is a really big commitment but it is worth
As a legally blind guide dog handler (who also has ADHD), thank you so much for recognizing how much training goes into service dogs and how high the standards of behavior are. I’m so glad that you’re committed to training Chloe properly. ❤️ Since you’re now in Washington, I recommend getting in contact with a Guide Dogs for the Blind Puppy Raising Club near you if you can. GDB has a really high standard of behavior and many of the career changed doggos (I.e. they’re not suited to be a guide dog) go on to be service dogs for other disabilities. Their puppy raising clubs might be a good resource to at least ask questions of.
I think it’s good that you’re trying to be honest with yourself about Chloe’s abilities. While no trainer should be judging whether your disability “merits” a service dog, they may tell you that she isn’t one of the relative minority of dogs who is cut out to become a service dog. Some dogs are incredibly focused on working and some aren’t as much. If that turns out to be the case, I hope you can continue to work with her and bring her with you to pet-friendly hotels, etc! She seems to help you so much which is a wonderful thing, time will tell if she can do so on a working level. PS I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your mother. Words cannot even express. I hope you find some peace in this time and may feel her love persisting through your struggles. 💗
@@theservicekalipso in my research I haven't heard anything like this (not trying to invalidate your comment, truly curious). Do you have examples you could share?
@@WonderingWildWanderingRose yes. When someone is dealing with the training, especially if they are owner training it comes with alot of stress. This can heighten the amount of anxiety expirenced during those months... sometimes years of training.
@@WonderingWildWanderingRose furthermore if the individual struggles with social anxieties then the added attention a dog brings can be stronger then the benefit they may provide. Additionally as both a dog trainer and a handler myself, the anxiety that comes with making the decision to wash an animal has often been very emotionally taxing on my clients, significantly worse with those already struggling with their mental health
My goodness do this more often. I can tell how genuine, honest and human you are in this. There were some parts that I saw myself in and it's nice to have someone to relate to.
I am so sorry to hear about your mother :( You are beautiful person and I hope you take the time to realise that it is okay to mourn and not be okay. You are still such a light shining for people like myself that have ADHD. Keep going!
I am so sorry for your loss ❤️ I lost my Mom when I was nine yo, and it’s a huge trauma to handle. ❤️ I also feel guilty about wanting a service dog for my ADHD, depression and anxiety, though it’s affecting my life so much. Still getting used to the feeling of being worthy of help and support, I guess.
I've had some extremely friendly cats that have acted as impromptu support animals, they would come running if they heard me crying & paw my face, laying on my chest. I didn't realize how much that helped until I had to live without a pet. Good luck with the training!
I have bipolar and my cat notices my mood changes before my husband and I. He guards me and insists on physical contact - he's not a snuggles type of cat.
My cat (who I’m certain has anxiety) shows me immense support whenever I’m yelling or get hurt. She spazzed out when she couldn’t eat my oreo and clawed me. When I said “OW”, her body posture totally changed and she started licking where she clawed. It seemed as if she was remorseful.
Thank you for still finding a way to help the community even when your having such life changing events. Your a very strong person to be able to do help us while you're going through this. I have a better understanding of how ADHD affects me and my children thanks to your work. I wish you and your family the best. ❤️
I had a dog named River. She was such a huge part of my life. Whenever I got upset or anxious, depressed or angry I'd immediately look for her. Just her sitting on my lap and me sniffing her fur, telling her everything and anything made the world seem so much more clearer and manageable than what my brain made it to be. I realised now (because of your video) that she was a BIG help to my adhd, especially the emotional chains attached to it. I miss her so much, and her death still affects me. But, I'm learning everyday how to find other ways to manage with my mental illnesses :) So you go girl! I support your decision! Xx p.s. Rivi was also part chihuahua hehe maybe they're not all that mean hahaha!
I just wanted thank you. You didn't need to be vulnerable with us, but you did. Your struggles, and experiences are real, and valid. Your feelings are valid. And I know I'm just a stranger on the internet but I believe in you. Your channel has helped me so much and I wanted to thank you. It changed my life for the better. I knew that if some kind words on the internet helped me, then it was Worth a shot to cheer up someone else. I have also been thinking about a service dog, and I relate to your concerns. I too felt guilty about it, a couple days later I came to a conclusion. My conclusion was that if this is something that will help me and if it was something that I thought it had a shot then I should give it a shot. At the time I was looking into a service dog for my auto immune disease but was also considering it for my anxiety. I think that it would be beneficial to more research into the topic, even if you don't get Chloe trained. I will come back and edit this comment if I find a resource that is particularly helpful. I hope this helped, that you have a better day than before, and that to anyone passing by reading this also has a better day then before. - love a stranger on the internet :D
You said something so essential in this video about how we tend to perceive ourselves as more or less deserving of support based on our different diagnoses. Just wanted to thank you for being so vulnerable and to affirm that you are definitely just as deserving as anyone else to have these kinds of supports in your life! I'm so sorry for your loss. Grieving the sudden loss of a parent can be so hard. Hang in there
I cried with you while watching this. I've always had a deep appreciation for your candidness and your willingness to express vulnerability with us through your work. Having the courage to be so raw and authentic is something our world needs more of. Thank you as always for sharing your journey with us. ❤
TW: suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety Before you, I never knew there were such things as psychiatric service dogs. I thought that was only for seisures, blindness, deafness, etc. But once I learned about it, I found out that I had an emotional support animal. She was there for me for 6 years. She kept me sane and kept me calm. Then she died. Now that I'm here, I have found that when she died is when the suicidal thoughts started. I never attempted, but I was very close. I felt so depressed without her. I lost my support network, and my pain worsened. I'm marginally better now that I'm medicated, but pills only go so far. I want to thank you for opening a door that I never knew existed. My parents are so supportive, but initially my anxiety told me they wouldn't be. You have been a life saver, not only literally, but in a metaphorical sense, because if my dream for a service poodle is realized, it could make my life so much easier and give me lots more independance.
Good luck getting a poodle! My mom just got one as her SD a year(ish) ago, and he is AMAZING!!! After only a few weeks he started picking up on her seizures and panic attacks and everything, and now at only a few months over a year old he's passed his public access test and earned the removal of his "in training" patches 😍 Poodles are amazing dogs! Im getting one in a few years for PTSD and the things that come with it. I'm so excited to be able to live again.
4:07 relatable not only to ADHD but soooo many other disabilities (OCD, Tourette's, GAD, depression, etc...). It definitely can be really hard "accept" or feel like you have to "confess" to struggling with these things. Thanks for the fantastic update!
Yes so relatable!! I’ve had doctors tell me “you’re young, how can you be in so much pain” while I sit in their office crying bc my back pain is uncontrollable due to dislocated disk, degenerative disease and more. Just 3 little vertebrates affecting my whole life.
I cried when you cried. Can't even begin to imagine your pain. Easier situations are already extremely hard. You are so strong. Really. So strong. You deserve a lot of good things happening to you. And remember that once you are able to go through the begging of this, you can go through the rest of it.
Hello, Brain. I'm really sorry your heart hurts right now. I'm crying more than I would have expected to (maybe it's emotional regulation trouble) because I sure did not know your mom, but I know her body and her brain were big parts of what made you; and I know that you are so kind, generous, thoughtful, triumphant, brave, fun, sweet, funny, honest, polite, warm, encouraging, inspirational and so much more. I don't think I can exactly "miss a person" who I did not know, but my heart really hurts, too, knowing that one of the players on your team isn't around anymore; and it's painful to see someone we admire so much have to feel something so painful. I know you will be okay, because everything turns out okay, someday. I just really really hope that in the meantime, your life is filled with people and things to uplift and guide you, and to help manage this pain, the way that you already have done for so so so many others with your life and your work. I am thankful you have Chloe, and the people around you, too. I already would have agreed that it would be an amazing idea to try to train her as a service animal. And if anything, now, especially, seems like a really beautiful time to start that journey together, to add a wonderful new player to your team. Like you said in your video, "it helps me, and it doesn't hurt anyone else." It's okay to be crying. It's okay to feel like you're struggling sometimes, as long as you don't think you have to struggle all by yourself. It's all okay. I believe in you a whole awful lot, Jessica, just person-to-person, brain-to-brain. Sometimes, believing in you so hard has been the only thing that could get me to believe in myself, too. This is all really parasocial but I do mean it a lot. Whatever happens next, however long any of it takes, I'm gonna be out here cheering for you, and maybe crying with you, and I would drop my impulse control on my way out the front door to have a chat outside with anyone who would try to make you feel bad for doing something that you feel is gonna help you feel and live better.
I just discovered this channel and I thank you for doing this. I am so sorry for your loss. As a mom of an 8 year old boy with ADHD, I know the importance of a mom in his life. If you can make a video to support the mom's of ADHD kids that would be great. I struggle when I see my child, and when others don't see him as he is. I loved this video and also agree the importance of a dog companion.
Training her teaches her to be a good dog citizen, gives her a sense of purpose, and is helpful to you. Who in their right mind would fight you on that? Godspeed, on both of your journeys.
I'm so sorry about your mom, and I'm so very thankful that you posted this. I've actually adopted a dog 3 months ago to train as a psychiatric service dog to help me with ADHD and anxiety, and I haven't seen anyone online with one for ADHD so it's very encouraging to see you especially considering this.
My dad died really suddenly, it’s like your whole world has shifted and how can it possibly be real? It takes a while, make sure you allow yourself the time you need. When my husband passed away it seemed like people had some kind of timeline in their heads for when everything would be just fine and back to normal and grief doesn’t work that way. (That said, there is a form of PTSD involving grief that can develop in some situations, so for anyone reading who has suffered a loss, if you’re a few months out and it STILL feels completely fresh and brand new, please see a professional. It’s bizarre to think people will just get completely over a loss, but you should be processing it and gradually adjusting to your new reality, and if you aren’t doing that then it’s good to talk to a trained grief counselor or similar because like other forms of PTSD it can be extremely debilitating.)
When your dog was sleeping on your lap, I can tell that you are more focused on what you are saying. Yes I believe your dog is the perfect support animal for you! I am so so sorry! My heart breaks for you! I am praying that God will comfort you in this time.
I love how you mentioned that training Chloe would help you with your symptoms without hurting other people. I’ve trained my dog Jeff to come with me in most situations to help my anxiety but I’ve been hesitating about that next step to make him a service dog because I worry about being a burden or being mocked (hey is that rejection sensitivity creeping on me?!) for my accountabilibuddy. I am so sorry for your loss.
My deepest, heartfelt sympathies. I lost my mom in April of 2017 and my brother in March of 2019. When I was having a particularly bad day at the hospital with my mom, a nurse hugged me and said "You go on and cry. You only have one mama." Just the other day I watched your video thanking your mom for getting your diagnosis and medication. it was really beautiful. She seems like a special lady. I know there's nothing I can say to help, but hang in there. You've got a huge community who you help so much with these videos, and we love and support you.
@@HowtoADHD thank you! Chloe is beautiful lol,She definitely looks like she could be a great service dog,Here’s a little tip though,Make sure to keep your emotions in check,if she’s trained as a Psychiatric Service dog,she’s supposed to be in tune with your emotions,So if you get frustrated with her,she’ll get frustrated :)
I'm curious about something, ¿how It feels have autism and ADHD? I have understood that both have a lot of differences in what refers to brain functionality, because for example in the ADHD there is low activity in the prefrontal cortex and the autism there is high activity in the same part, which means the facility for the autistic people for maintain the same activity for long periods of time, stuff that does not happen in the ADHD-ADD people.
@@hermanblanco2189 See,With my Adhd It makes it hard for me to focus On certain things,But then I get too focused on them,With my Autism,I get highly over-Stimulated In public situations,It sucks but is also a blessing :)
I'm so sorry for your loss, I believe and hope you will be okay, I love you and your videos so much they've helped me so so much, I am in full support of psychiatric support animals for adhd and wish very much that I had one, good luck on this journey and I love you!
I lost my parents when I was a teen 15 years ago and this still hits me so close to home. Today is also the year anniversary of losing my uncle, the closest person I had to a parent since then. You are not alone. And everything you are feeling is valid and normal.
Jessica, my heart goes out to you. Now is a good time for lots of self-compassion. I know you can weather this storm too, and that it will take time. Lots of time. Let the people around you support you, especially Chloe. When you are ready you will come back to us, because we value what you do and you are good at it. It is a way to honor your mom, too. You’ve shared how much she supported you in your search to understand your brain and ours. Thank you for everything. Now take the time you need. I trust you will find the perfect way to honor your grief and your mom. Hugs.
My heart broke watching this. Just discovered your channel, and I've had a lot of similar struggles. You handled the loss a lot better than I would have in your shoes. Chloe might be a perfect example of what someone might need in this situation. Thanking you for putting yourself out there and being vulnerable, you're making a difference.
As a dog trainer with ADHD, I have definitely thought about the possibility of training a service dog for myself. After my brain comes back down from the clouds I typically find myself saying it really wouldn’t be worth it for me. Because I am so active in the dog world and dogs are my whole life I rarely do things without them. That being said I have played around with some tasks that my dogs can do when they are with me at home, at work (perk of being a trainer lol), at trials, and even training outings and classes/clubs. After multiple rabbit holes of “maybe, what if’s” I have concluded that the best option for me is to eventually foster service dogs and reap the benefits of having a dog with me at all times (whether the tasks it’s trained to do would help me or not) and I would be able to help someone else who needs a service dog to grow their independence. There is no perfect answer or solution. I say look for a trainer that has a good reputation, gets good results, and is passionate and capable of helping you. Be carful of scammers and ask lots of questions to make sure they understand service dog laws (ADA.gov) and how public access and task training works. Service dog training isn’t something ever trainer can or should do, but there are definitely some really good ones out there!
Society is just now beginning to grasp that mental disabilities are 'real' disabilities. I too struggle with guilt, even though it's clear I'm disabled.
This was such a powerful video. I feel exactly the same way about taking my medication. Thank you for putting it into a different light of “if it helps me and doesn’t hurt anyone, why not?” Also I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you’re in. I hope you find some healing and comfort soon. You’re not alone, even when it feels like it ❤️
I'm really sorry for your loss. I am really thankful you chose to share this with us and also your plans with Chloe. Your videos have always been extremely validating for my experiences as someone with ADHD and a variety of other things and seeing you go through this process and consideration is also one of them. You don't have to do these things but you chose to and I want you to know it is helping a lot of people. Your parents are still proud of you wherever they are now
OMG 🤗 🖤, I absolutely love how you are so open with us Brains and share not only the raw emotions that are brought on by your ADHD but also how you share the most difficult moments in your life. I love watching your channel because of how "real" you are with us. You not only share thoroughly researched scientific facts about ADHD but also your story with ADHD in your life, without hiding those raw moments, and I find that extremely refreshing. Thank you!
Ive been struggling and trying to cope with my adhd since I was diagnosed at 3. On and off different meds, different therapists, neglectful adults, and turning to alcoholism and weed. It gets really bad for me some days too. Im at a better place now and then I discovered your channel 2 weeks ago and its helped me remember my adhd is something that deserves help. Same for me with the feeling like I shudnt need to take my meds. My mom has stage 4 colon cancer and its spreading... so when you said your mother passed unexpectedly that hit for me and I was crying with you. Me nd my mom aint that close these days cuz of other familial things I have trouble forgiving her for. Yet though you didn't mean to, the light you eminate by having the bravery to share your life like you do with this channel has made me reevaluate that. Thank you for doing what you do. I believe your mother is so proud of you frfr, here's in hopes mine can be of me too. May your mother rest in paradise, she raised an exceptional human being. ❤💯🙏🏽
I deal with ADHD, among other challenges, and my emotional support dog has really been enormously helpful. If your dog can be trained to help you out even more than she has been, I'd say go for it! I'm sure you've heard these exact same words many times before, but I'm so sorry about your mom. I hope that you'll be able to give yourself the time and space to grieve.
I have several disabilities, none of them visible and all of them “minor” enough that I can suck it up and compensate well enough to function like everyone else the vast majority of the time (or at least appear to). “That’s more deserving of support” is something I, and I think a lot of people, struggle with because, hey, at least I can still walk (or whatever other comparison I come up with to discount my own difficulties). Thank you for the reminder that it’s not a competition and the fact that there are people who need more support that we do doesn’t mean we don’t need it at all.
OMG! my dogs got excited when you asked Chloe if she wanted to go outside. My dogs heard it on the video. My dogs want to go outside now. I am so sorry for your loss.
I know words arent enough to help. But you've been such a huge help to so many people. Seeing you in pain made my heart clench. Im sending nothing but the best vibes to help you heal.
I’ve also considered getting a service dog and I’m struggling with that. But dealing with that heartbreak and grief would be so so hard and I’m so proud of you for dealing with things!
I'm so sorry that your mom passed away. I know that it is very difficult. I lost mine when I was 13 and I'm still struggling with the effects it had on me, 4 years later. What I can tell you is that you need at least one person to talk to and that it would probably be helpful if this person isn't attached to your life. Like of course it is important to tell your boyfriend how you feel and maybe close friends but I really wanna recommend to you talking to a specialist or just someone who works in that kind of field even though you probably do. I just wanted to leave this out here for you, just in case. And of course, if you read this, you can talk to me if you want to. I mean I know, we don't know each other but I'm quite a good listener. This of course is also a "service" to everybody in the comments struggling, who found this comment. Just come talk to me, cause it can be a lot easier to talk to strangers
I'm so sorry - you know to just let feelings come - it's a long process & there's no rush to "heal" - I was right there only 3 years ago - sending you lots of love! Chloe will be an incredible support whether she's formally trained or not. Blessings - Viki
From watching your video on Dogs & ADHD I actually ended up getting my own emotional support dog. I rescued a retired racing hound and honestly I can say it’s the best responsibility that I could ask for. It took a lot of paperwork and a lot of back and forth with the apartment complex but it’s been such a huge help!!
I am so sorry for your loss. I bawled along with you the entire video. What you are doing is so important for so many people, thank you for sharing your life with us.
I never knew I needed a service dog until last fall when I moved in with my parents and brother and we adopted a puppy. I was shocked, I felt genuinely happy or “ok” more often than I ever had before. It turns out that it had the same effect on my father. He is much healthier, happier and more relaxed (even in covid!!) just from being more active with the pup. If you are a very sensitive person(maybe you have ADD, Autism, Anxiety or depression), loving and caring for a dog can make sure a big difference.
Gosh I'mso sorry you lost your Mom. Your such a sweet and gentle soul. I'm sure your Mom was very proud of you. Having such a tender heart, and your so real and vulnerable. I think this world needs more people like you. Take care of yourself, and know that your Mom would want you to prosper and thrive, and continue to bring enlightenment to all the people who need your story. God bless you!
Jessica, you are helping so many people with similar issues. As a 56 yr old mother of 2 ADHD sons and I myself am ADHD, your videos help me tremendously in dealing with all 3 of us. And I have to say that you are so precious and open and my heart aches for you as you mourn your beautiful mom! She must’ve been a very special soul and she did a wonderful job raising you! God bless you and your siblings. Stay true to yourself and Chloe, we all have strengths and weaknesses - which makes us human. 💝
I am so, so sorry for your loss. If there's any chance that you will see this, I wanted to let you know just how appreciated you are. I just discovered your channel yesterday as I'm trying so hard to help my undiagnosed, exceptionally bright and inquisitive 8 year old son as he is struggling with the school environment (both in class and socially) and I feel like he has been shutting down emotionally the past couple of years and it breaks my heart. I can't thank you enough for your openness, candor, vulnerability, knowledge and those fantastic tips!! Please know that you are helping so many people not only those with ADHD but their loved ones as well. Take it extra easy on yourself right now. Sending you long-distance love and support.
That news hit me like a brick so i can only imagine what you are going through. I'm here for you in spirit Jessica. I love everything you do and i must say that dog is amazing. Thank you for being there for me.
Even though your dog isn't a trained dog. She will know when you need her. Ciaran sticks by me when I need him. My mom is actively dieing and I lost my dad two weeks before covid
I am so, so sorry. I lost my mum a couple of years ago and it was the most awful, difficult thing. You are such a wonderful, strong person who has had an incredible impact on the lives of so many people all over the world... but please take whatever time for yourself you need to process this awful loss, OK? Hugs, good wishes, and love to you and your family
as one of the representatives for Youth ADHD West Norway and have ADHD myself and my big brother also have ADHD and Autism and i feel you allot on this. lately i have actually recomended your channel to some parents and kids and other ADHD representatives in norway becouse you explain how ADHD works so god damn well, we all appreciate you and your work, Thank You. - Representatives for Youth ADHD Norway and some Speakers of ADHD Norway
I am just watching this and my heart goes out to you even though this happened two years ago. I lost my mom in 2018. It’s the hardest thing to take in and I appreciate your strength. I respect you so much for your transparency and thank you for sharing. I’ve been struggling with ADHD and your videos have helped me immensely. Thank you! 🙏
your videos have helped me so much. been going through some dark times.. and i sit there watching your videos with a notebook and pen trying to save myself from my livingroom floor. your videos are a testiment of not only the impact that you have in your own life and the lives of others, but also the impact your mom had in your life. you left a record for all of us seeking guidence of how huge she is in your life and how she gave you structure. that's you taking the love she gave you and multiplying it. keep going. take time to process what you are feeling and take time to get settled in your new normal. but remember your brain is built to seek rewarding realities. when my uncle passed away I felt so lost. he was my structure. it was hard, and it still is hard. but eventually i realized everything reminded me of him. so I used it to my advantage. I created new structures within my new "normal" that honored all the memories of him structuring me. I still fail in life and i still have random days where the wounds feel new... but I know he'd be proud. Now everything that reminds me of him is a cue for me to practice loving myself and setting myself up for the realities he would set me up for if he were still here. I learned his behavioral algorithem while he was alive. now that he's gone... i'm here reminding my corner of the universe that he existed in ways that leave not only his mark, but mine too. idk if any of these words help. but. you're one of my heroes. I think you will put your whole you into this new existence and slowly build the muscle memory, support and structures needed to get settled in and continue to do great things.... this applies to training a service dog too. you call us apex predators "brains" lol and you DARE to give us structure with all the understanding you have about our brains. that's a gutsy move, and you COMPLETELY pull it off... but you didn't become this version of you in a day. it took time. it took trial and error... trial and error is just the beginning of all the best scientific descoveries. so stay curous, stay creative, stay observant and stay... you. hope you have a (your adjective of choice) day! take care dude.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I lost my Nana in the beginning of this year, and it was really painful not to be able to have a proper service and go through the grieving process with other people. Oddly, watching through all of Caitlin Doughty - Ask a mortician's channel really helped. And dogs. My two pups are life savers, even if they're not trained. I hope you feel better soon, and thank you for all the wonderful content you put out. It's a bright, beautiful corner of the Internet, I really appreciate you
I'm so sorry, and I hope you are OK, losing your Mom I can't even imagine. We lost our good dog Saturday, and I buried her out in the pasture Sunday. I felt an incredible sense of guilt, for leaving her outside in the cold and dark, and i ended up sitting by her grave a lot of the night to just be with her. I hope you feel better, and I really use and appreciate your videos as a vital tool to dealing with my own ADHD issues, and RSD. You rock!
First off, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but my heart hurts to know you’re hurting, and I hope that you can find peace in time. Second, I think it’s a wonderful idea for you to train Chloe as a service dog. I researched the idea extensively (read: hyperfocus) for a while, and there are a lot of ways that a service dog can help with our particular brains. Some tasks I considered using: -responding to alarms/timers (to make sure I actually do what they’re set for) -reminding about medication -prompting me to stand up and move around when I’ve been hyperfocused for too long -deep pressure therapy for anxiety/sensory overload -probably more but I’ve forgotten One resource I loved is a youtube page called “My Dog and Me, LLC.” The gal has done a whole bunch of videos to make service dog training (and thus service dogs themselves) accessible to anyone who might need it. They’re really great videos, very clear and engaging, especially if you watch them on 2X speed lol. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck in moving forward, with both the exciting and the difficult things. Thank you for everything you’ve done for the ADHD community. You’ve been there for us and we’ll be here for you in whatever ways we can.
Thank you for reminding me that my ADHD is legitimate and worth addressing and getting help with. I often forget that and actively tell myself in unworthy of care and support. Thank you for being a role model for self care.
1000000 likes for this comment. Thank you, Jessica! Your channel has been the best thing ever as my family and I navigate our lives with ADHD. ❤️❤️❤️
I feel the same way. I just wish I was... I don't know better? smarter? I definitely wish I was less of a burden on my family.
@@Mintyeon470 I feel this so hard. I'm learning to accept my ADHD and let go of the shame, but it's still difficult seeing how my symptoms affect others. This is an old video but helped me a lot at the time and I still try to remember to do this: ua-cam.com/video/R-k1ggPxEbg/v-deo.html
I get help, every two weeks a cleaner comes over to keep me on track and we work together on some chores. Weekly I also get some time with a person that we could meet socially or do something I think I need to do like cook or something. I've been getting help my whole adult life (35), on a disability pension, and still, have these doubts sometimes, or I almost apologize for getting help or for needing it or asking for it. I second what you said, thanking Jessica for being a role model for self care!
@@andreaj.9531 I have that same kind of support. A little to few hours though (just 1) but I hope to get more soon.
I've never wanted to hug someone through a screen so much.
I feel this so much.
Same 💔💚
Couldn’t agree more. Sending tons of hugs and love your way. 💔
Well Said!
Same
It's crazy how "it won't hurt anyone else and it will help me" isn't a good enough reason for some of us. Hearing someone else say it I'm like yeah absolutely you should do that thing. But when I'm saying that to myself about medication or therapy or whatever, it's not enough to convince myself. Your videos help so many of us who are struggling silently because everything on the surface appears totally fine. Thank you for having the courage to speak openly about your ADHD.
I don’t know who’s you are but I wish you could believe your needs are important. You are important. You matter. Hopefully you ask for help if you need it. Make the world what you needed to be.
It often isn't good enough for employers either and that's a pain in the backside.
Jessica, as someone who has been the boyfriend in this situation for someone who else lost her mom unexpectedly, I can say that one of the best things you two can possibly do is to find a grief support group. Usually run by hospice workers or social workers (ours is in the community VNA), these are incredibly powerful and emotional meetings where you can express your grief and find those who really understand what loss is and how to bear up under it. Your local hospital might have some resources to get you pointed in the right direction. You should bring Raff too, he can learn a lot about how to support you through this and having him there will make it easier to bear going.... I really hope this helps, and my heart goes out to you. *hug*
Everyone, could you please like this comment so that Jessica can see it? I'm not looking for attention, but I want her to know this is a resource she can use to help herself. Blessings to all of you fellow brains out there who have gone through this yourselves as well.
Great advice here
+
This is a great idea. 🖤
+
Hopefully there are virtual support groups during this time
Saying things like "I'm so sorry for your loss" doesn't feel like enough. This year has been awful and I wish life wasn't this cruel at points. You are appreciated. Thank you for everything you do. So many people are rooting for you. ❤
There is a notion out there. It says that life will become tragic at some point. Inevitably. And it is of the highest priority to get equipped to handle it. And help others to get prepared too. Because living is both joy, and pain. And the experience, and impacts you have on people and the world have inherent value. And are worth it for the fact that YOU did them.
I don’t think I could have said it any better
I know the phrase “I’m sorry for your loss” starts to sound remarkably hollow after a certain point, but I am sorry that on top of a pretty universally Not Good and incredibly unfair year you were dealt an extra dose of bad and unfairness. And I also wanted to say thank you for continuing to be so incredibly vulnerable with us.
Jessica, I second Samantha's comment. I am very sorry about your mom's passing. Sending lots of virtual hugs.
This a million times! ❤️
This from me too
This exactly. I genuinely don't know what else to say.
I read this comment and was like oh no what’s gonna happen and as soon as I unpaused I was like ok that it what gonna happen and i feel bad for her. She didn’t deserve that to happen.
“It means that I have a disability, and even though I technically do, it feels weird to think about it this way”- this is how I felt requesting accommodations at work and school under the ADA. It feels so strange when so many people don’t see it as a disability and that’s what you’ve now come to believe too - we feel guilty asking for and accepting that we need help because of it. I’m looking forward to seeing you train Chloe and learning more about how service dogs can support us ADHD brains!
why are we the only people stil getting gaslighted in society, its so weird
I know like, adhd affects every part of my life and makes so many things so much more difficult but, I just have the hyper kid disorder right?
@@garbomode29 but you could call adhd a disability? Plain simple? If the world was equipped for you, would you be disable still?
@@ZairaBandy ADHD can affect your memory, self care, your ability to complete tasks, having control over emotions, and much more. Even with proper accommodations those will still be struggles.
I'm still nervous because I had (have) hardcore depression and that accomodation was laughed at and I was fired from my career if 13 years. I'm still on the fence about requesting or pretending. If that hadn't happened I would be requesting AND advocating, no doubt about it.🖤🐾👍
As a dog trainer who has ADHD I can say that just being around dogs and going through the process of training and seeing even the most reactive dogs turn around helps a ton. Without my dogs, I don't think I could make it that far. They are the reason I want to do things that I wouldn't normally do Because of my ADHD.
That said, I would do it. Who cares what other trainers would say - keep calling somebody until you find somebody worth the expense, it's not just that you need the help, it's that you deserve to be helped. You are worth it. Be cautioned however, a lot of times, personal dogs do not have what it takes to be a service dog. Many do, but many don't. It's not an immediate happening to have a service dog, It's a process - enjoy the process.
Anyway - sorry for the long message. I am heartbroken to hear about your mother. That's a hard hit... I wish I could do something to help you, especially since you helped me stop bottling my ADHD up and pretend I didn't have it. Now I'm proud to say I have it. That was because of you. So thank you for everything.
fellow trainer and service dog handler here 👋
Training dog is the only job I have been able to do and not get bored of. I’ve been training for over 8 years and I could barely hold a job for 8 months before that.
Hey Jessica, I don't know if you'll see this but I want you to know: EVEN IF people put you down and don't take you seriously, you should really do this. We support you. You're a leader and a pioneer for us.
Edit: wow, thank you for the likes but seriously maybe she will see this? It's unlikely but maybe.
THIS
I agree 💯
Well said. I agree!
I agree 👍
This!
RIP Jess' Mom. Jess helps a lot of us out so thank you for raising her the way she turned out. Excellent Legacy.
I wish I had thought of that comment. Timely, befitting and Beautiful. THX
In a lot of ways, my daughter makes my ADHD and anxiety more manageable. She requires me to have more structure for her, to eat on time and bath and brush our teeth- stuff that my husband certainly doesn't need me to do with him. I think Chloe does the same thing for you. She gives you the external stimuli we need to create the routines that don't come naturally to us.
I think animals and kids have a lot of parallels in the lives of the people who love them. I grew up on a farm, I've always had a horse, even now I have 4 cats- and animals, for me anyway, are one of the most pure forms of love and caring I can think of. A mother's love is just like that. Your mom's love for you was just the same- you gave her so much joy, probably more than you'll ever know- just like Chloe does for you, and my kiddo does for me. From what we saw of her, you both have that same spark of joy in your smile. You must get that from her. I'm so glad you shared her with us.
Official petition to christen Chloe as the official ADHDog?
Also Scientist brain here. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for taking the time to have the COVID info on your video and for taking the steps to find a mask you can tolerate with sensory difficulties. I know it's hard for some (I am lucky that my sensitivities don't much center on my face), but it is so critical. Also, your pupper is wonderful and I am so glad you have a good fit for a support and hopefully eventually service animal in her!
This is what I get for commenting before finishing the video. My dear, you are so loved on these internet parts. My heart hurts for you. I am so glad you have a supportive partner through this.
Are you alright, because we are always here for you. Its the least we can do for you
trying to be
@@HowtoADHD if you ever want to rest your heart, we are right here.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I've cried with you before , and my heart is with you now.
My cat comes to me every time I cry. I adopted her when I got married back in 2008.
She's 15 years old now. I hope I can find a way to keep alive forever somehow...
I so feel you! I hope she stays alive for you FOREVER!! 🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤
I hope she lives as long as you :)
Oh, friend. I am so very sorry for your loss. I cried with you, as I’m sure many of your friends here did. As far as training Chloe, I think it is a great idea! My son has ASD and ADHD and this was something I never realized was an option.
When you talk about feeling like you should not need the helps, even though they don’t hurt anyone else, I feel that in my bones. I’ve got severe Psoriatic arthritis and at 36 I’m driving a wheelchair van and using a power wheelchair or scooter most days. I feel like I shouldn’t need it. It hurts to need it. But, when you said it doesn’t hurt anyone else, that changed something for me. I always feel like a burden and inconvenience, but you are right. My wheels don’t hurt anyone else. So, I will face tomorrow with a better attitude thanks to you. This isn’t the first time you’ve helped me. My son and I have benefited from so many of your videos. He and I can sit through lessons and conversations thanks to your ultimate fidget recommendation. I’m learning why I fail at certain things and so I can teach my son how to do them well. You’ve changed our lives. May God bless you for your work! Hugs! ❤️
I have 5 siblings, on of them is my identical twin. I have ADHD, she doesnt. She does have cerebral palsy, her left foot below her ankle is paralyzed. The brother closest in age to us (one year older) also has ADHD, autism and is developmentally delayed.
Thank you
Thank you so much.
My struggle is just as real as theirs, even though to my parents I was "Just the one that can't focus"
I am also soo very sorry for your loss.
my dog is not technically a service dog, but I cant imagine myself here without my dog. My problem now is dreading the day they pass.
Love them while you can.
I know how you feel. My girl is almost 14 she just started showing signs of being geriatric. I'm dreading that day. Hugs.
@@coloringwithd thank you for being someone who contributes to happy lives.
I have a service dog for anxiety and ADD and have watched you for a while. It's so validating to see others acknowledge ADD service dogs.
Do you mind sharing with me what service(s) your dog performs for you? We just lost my husband's diabetic service dog. We are training my dog as a service dog now for multiple disabilities, but I don't know exactly how she can help with ADHD.
You’re a fantastic person, Jessica. I can’t imagine how difficult it is to lose your mom; I only know her from you thanking her in your videos but even just for that, I’m immensely grateful for her and the good she did supporting you which led to the good you do for your audience. You two ladies have made an immense positive impact in others lives, and that lives on in your mama’s memory
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, loss is never something fun to go through but I'm glad that you have someone there with you and that's it's Chloe ❤️
That feeling of having a sibling who's the one who "really" struggles and so you shouldn't need help.... wow, that hit home.
I'm so sorry about your mom. I'm glad you'll be able to be with your family. We'll be thinking of you from here
Well i do definitely. She's important to me and letrally to anyone here :o
It's almost relieving to know I'm not the only one with the mindset of "well I don't deserve ___ because I don't perceive my suffering as bad as others". I have ADHD and panic disorder and before this video I would definitely recede at the thought of something like a service dog for myself because I think others need it more. In reality it may not matter what condition I have, I might always think I wouldn't be deserving of it. I really hope things work out with training Chloe, I think this may be something I keep in mind for myself now
We could see how much Chloe's mere presence is great solace for you. I know the right trainer is out there for you both. My deepest sympathy on the loss of your mom. A part of her will always be with you.
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. The strength required even post this video is huge.
Stay strong
thank you for that
@@HowtoADHD You help me a lot for sure. Thank you very much.
Both my parents died late last year. My brothers didn’t tell me, and said that it was what my parents wanted.
In spite of years of hurt and abuse and them never believing I have ADHD, I was reaching out until and beyond the end.
Having a parent die is so hard and weird and feels like there’s no floor.
I’m sorry about your mom. I’m sorry about my parents.
I'm sorry you never received the support you deserved.
Im sorry i lost my parents like that one after another and I can relate to the weird part. I was sad and angry at the same time. I wish I could say something inspirational but I don’t have anything. I just went with the anger.
It’s hard enough, but when your family don’t believe you it’s extra hard! They don’t care why they called me crazy, I begged them to look up adhd and maybe they will understand! Nope never did! The world treats me better than they ever did! 🙏♥️
Lea Seidman, I am so sorry. You are worthy of love. Blessings on your healing process. Peace to you.
🙏🙏🙏 for you
I'm in my 30s and 3 weeks ago I found out I have ADHD, and 1 week ago I found your channel. Last night, my Mom passed away. I'm still figuring everything out but your guidance and warmth really means a lot. Thank you.
I miss Chloe so much!! Will be good to see you guys again ✌🏼💚
I’m actually training my dog to be my service dog and she’s going to help me with my ADHD, anxiety and sleeping disorder. It is a really big commitment but it is worth
Good luck!
As a legally blind guide dog handler (who also has ADHD), thank you so much for recognizing how much training goes into service dogs and how high the standards of behavior are. I’m so glad that you’re committed to training Chloe properly. ❤️
Since you’re now in Washington, I recommend getting in contact with a Guide Dogs for the Blind Puppy Raising Club near you if you can. GDB has a really high standard of behavior and many of the career changed doggos (I.e. they’re not suited to be a guide dog) go on to be service dogs for other disabilities. Their puppy raising clubs might be a good resource to at least ask questions of.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother, Jessica. I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling right now. ❤️💔❤️
I think it’s good that you’re trying to be honest with yourself about Chloe’s abilities. While no trainer should be judging whether your disability “merits” a service dog, they may tell you that she isn’t one of the relative minority of dogs who is cut out to become a service dog. Some dogs are incredibly focused on working and some aren’t as much. If that turns out to be the case, I hope you can continue to work with her and bring her with you to pet-friendly hotels, etc! She seems to help you so much which is a wonderful thing, time will tell if she can do so on a working level.
PS I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your mother. Words cannot even express. I hope you find some peace in this time and may feel her love persisting through your struggles. 💗
As someone who has been feeling guilty about considering a service dog, this has been really helpful, thank you
I have adhd but I’m not sure if I should get a service dog for that and anxiety
It sometimes can worsen mental health, so do your research first
@@theservicekalipso in my research I haven't heard anything like this (not trying to invalidate your comment, truly curious). Do you have examples you could share?
@@WonderingWildWanderingRose yes. When someone is dealing with the training, especially if they are owner training it comes with alot of stress. This can heighten the amount of anxiety expirenced during those months... sometimes years of training.
@@WonderingWildWanderingRose furthermore if the individual struggles with social anxieties then the added attention a dog brings can be stronger then the benefit they may provide. Additionally as both a dog trainer and a handler myself, the anxiety that comes with making the decision to wash an animal has often been very emotionally taxing on my clients, significantly worse with those already struggling with their mental health
My goodness do this more often. I can tell how genuine, honest and human you are in this. There were some parts that I saw myself in and it's nice to have someone to relate to.
Thank you for the encouragement! The next few videos will be about this journey
@@HowtoADHD I'm looking forward to it! Would love to have a conversation at some point! You really helped me out
When she cried about not being able to get her medication on time I cried with her. It was so real.
I am so sorry to hear about your mother :(
You are beautiful person and I hope you take the time to realise that it is okay to mourn and not be okay.
You are still such a light shining for people like myself that have ADHD. Keep going!
I am so sorry for your loss ❤️ I lost my Mom when I was nine yo, and it’s a huge trauma to handle. ❤️
I also feel guilty about wanting a service dog for my ADHD, depression and anxiety, though it’s affecting my life so much. Still getting used to the feeling of being worthy of help and support, I guess.
I've had some extremely friendly cats that have acted as impromptu support animals, they would come running if they heard me crying & paw my face, laying on my chest. I didn't realize how much that helped until I had to live without a pet. Good luck with the training!
I'm fostering two cats like that at the moment. They always want to be near me and are always so excited when I get home.
I have bipolar and my cat notices my mood changes before my husband and I. He guards me and insists on physical contact - he's not a snuggles type of cat.
@@ladytimeoin He sounds like a very sensitive kitty:)
My cat (who I’m certain has anxiety) shows me immense support whenever I’m yelling or get hurt. She spazzed out when she couldn’t eat my oreo and clawed me. When I said “OW”, her body posture totally changed and she started licking where she clawed. It seemed as if she was remorseful.
@@onewaytosavetheday They really are sensitive creatures.
Imagine it from Chloes point of view. She gets to help her favorite person.
Thank you for still finding a way to help the community even when your having such life changing events. Your a very strong person to be able to do help us while you're going through this. I have a better understanding of how ADHD affects me and my children thanks to your work. I wish you and your family the best. ❤️
I had a dog named River. She was such a huge part of my life. Whenever I got upset or anxious, depressed or angry I'd immediately look for her. Just her sitting on my lap and me sniffing her fur, telling her everything and anything made the world seem so much more clearer and manageable than what my brain made it to be. I realised now (because of your video) that she was a BIG help to my adhd, especially the emotional chains attached to it. I miss her so much, and her death still affects me. But, I'm learning everyday how to find other ways to manage with my mental illnesses :) So you go girl! I support your decision! Xx p.s. Rivi was also part chihuahua hehe maybe they're not all that mean hahaha!
I just wanted thank you. You didn't need to be vulnerable with us, but you did. Your struggles, and experiences are real, and valid. Your feelings are valid. And I know I'm just a stranger on the internet but I believe in you.
Your channel has helped me so much and I wanted to thank you. It changed my life for the better. I knew that if some kind words on the internet helped me, then it was Worth a shot to cheer up someone else.
I have also been thinking about a service dog, and I relate to your concerns. I too felt guilty about it, a couple days later I came to a conclusion. My conclusion was that if this is something that will help me and if it was something that I thought it had a shot then I should give it a shot. At the time I was looking into a service dog for my auto immune disease but was also considering it for my anxiety. I think that it would be beneficial to more research into the topic, even if you don't get Chloe trained. I will come back and edit this comment if I find a resource that is particularly helpful. I hope this helped, that you have a better day than before, and that to anyone passing by reading this also has a better day then before.
- love a stranger on the internet :D
You said something so essential in this video about how we tend to perceive ourselves as more or less deserving of support based on our different diagnoses. Just wanted to thank you for being so vulnerable and to affirm that you are definitely just as deserving as anyone else to have these kinds of supports in your life! I'm so sorry for your loss. Grieving the sudden loss of a parent can be so hard. Hang in there
I cried with you while watching this. I've always had a deep appreciation for your candidness and your willingness to express vulnerability with us through your work. Having the courage to be so raw and authentic is something our world needs more of. Thank you as always for sharing your journey with us. ❤
TW: suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety
Before you, I never knew there were such things as psychiatric service dogs. I thought that was only for seisures, blindness, deafness, etc. But once I learned about it, I found out that I had an emotional support animal. She was there for me for 6 years. She kept me sane and kept me calm. Then she died. Now that I'm here, I have found that when she died is when the suicidal thoughts started. I never attempted, but I was very close. I felt so depressed without her. I lost my support network, and my pain worsened. I'm marginally better now that I'm medicated, but pills only go so far. I want to thank you for opening a door that I never knew existed. My parents are so supportive, but initially my anxiety told me they wouldn't be. You have been a life saver, not only literally, but in a metaphorical sense, because if my dream for a service poodle is realized, it could make my life so much easier and give me lots more independance.
Good luck getting a poodle! My mom just got one as her SD a year(ish) ago, and he is AMAZING!!! After only a few weeks he started picking up on her seizures and panic attacks and everything, and now at only a few months over a year old he's passed his public access test and earned the removal of his "in training" patches 😍
Poodles are amazing dogs! Im getting one in a few years for PTSD and the things that come with it. I'm so excited to be able to live again.
4:07 relatable not only to ADHD but soooo many other disabilities (OCD, Tourette's, GAD, depression, etc...). It definitely can be really hard "accept" or feel like you have to "confess" to struggling with these things. Thanks for the fantastic update!
Yes so relatable!! I’ve had doctors tell me “you’re young, how can you be in so much pain” while I sit in their office crying bc my back pain is uncontrollable due to dislocated disk, degenerative disease and more. Just 3 little vertebrates affecting my whole life.
@@SuperVeeveez I'm so sorry to hear that :( Stay strong!!
I cried when you cried. Can't even begin to imagine your pain. Easier situations are already extremely hard. You are so strong. Really. So strong. You deserve a lot of good things happening to you. And remember that once you are able to go through the begging of this, you can go through the rest of it.
Hello, Brain. I'm really sorry your heart hurts right now. I'm crying more than I would have expected to (maybe it's emotional regulation trouble) because I sure did not know your mom, but I know her body and her brain were big parts of what made you; and I know that you are so kind, generous, thoughtful, triumphant, brave, fun, sweet, funny, honest, polite, warm, encouraging, inspirational and so much more. I don't think I can exactly "miss a person" who I did not know, but my heart really hurts, too, knowing that one of the players on your team isn't around anymore; and it's painful to see someone we admire so much have to feel something so painful. I know you will be okay, because everything turns out okay, someday. I just really really hope that in the meantime, your life is filled with people and things to uplift and guide you, and to help manage this pain, the way that you already have done for so so so many others with your life and your work.
I am thankful you have Chloe, and the people around you, too. I already would have agreed that it would be an amazing idea to try to train her as a service animal. And if anything, now, especially, seems like a really beautiful time to start that journey together, to add a wonderful new player to your team.
Like you said in your video, "it helps me, and it doesn't hurt anyone else."
It's okay to be crying. It's okay to feel like you're struggling sometimes, as long as you don't think you have to struggle all by yourself. It's all okay. I believe in you a whole awful lot, Jessica, just person-to-person, brain-to-brain. Sometimes, believing in you so hard has been the only thing that could get me to believe in myself, too. This is all really parasocial but I do mean it a lot. Whatever happens next, however long any of it takes, I'm gonna be out here cheering for you, and maybe crying with you, and I would drop my impulse control on my way out the front door to have a chat outside with anyone who would try to make you feel bad for doing something that you feel is gonna help you feel and live better.
I just discovered this channel and I thank you for doing this. I am so sorry for your loss. As a mom of an 8 year old boy with ADHD, I know the importance of a mom in his life. If you can make a video to support the mom's of ADHD kids that would be great. I struggle when I see my child, and when others don't see him as he is. I loved this video and also agree the importance of a dog companion.
Training her teaches her to be a good dog citizen, gives her a sense of purpose, and is helpful to you. Who in their right mind would fight you on that? Godspeed, on both of your journeys.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm crying right here with you. I'm glad that Chloe has been able to keep you on your feet through such a difficult time.
I'm so sorry about your mom, and I'm so very thankful that you posted this. I've actually adopted a dog 3 months ago to train as a psychiatric service dog to help me with ADHD and anxiety, and I haven't seen anyone online with one for ADHD so it's very encouraging to see you especially considering this.
My dad died really suddenly, it’s like your whole world has shifted and how can it possibly be real? It takes a while, make sure you allow yourself the time you need. When my husband passed away it seemed like people had some kind of timeline in their heads for when everything would be just fine and back to normal and grief doesn’t work that way.
(That said, there is a form of PTSD involving grief that can develop in some situations, so for anyone reading who has suffered a loss, if you’re a few months out and it STILL feels completely fresh and brand new, please see a professional. It’s bizarre to think people will just get completely over a loss, but you should be processing it and gradually adjusting to your new reality, and if you aren’t doing that then it’s good to talk to a trained grief counselor or similar because like other forms of PTSD it can be extremely debilitating.)
We just had a sudden death and I still can't believe it's true.
May your mom’s memory bring a smile to all those who remember her
When your dog was sleeping on your lap, I can tell that you are more focused on what you are saying. Yes I believe your dog is the perfect support animal for you!
I am so so sorry! My heart breaks for you! I am praying that God will comfort you in this time.
I love how you mentioned that training Chloe would help you with your symptoms without hurting other people. I’ve trained my dog Jeff to come with me in most situations to help my anxiety but I’ve been hesitating about that next step to make him a service dog because I worry about being a burden or being mocked (hey is that rejection sensitivity creeping on me?!) for my accountabilibuddy. I am so sorry for your loss.
My deepest, heartfelt sympathies. I lost my mom in April of 2017 and my brother in March of 2019. When I was having a particularly bad day at the hospital with my mom, a nurse hugged me and said "You go on and cry. You only have one mama." Just the other day I watched your video thanking your mom for getting your diagnosis and medication. it was really beautiful. She seems like a special lady. I know there's nothing I can say to help, but hang in there. You've got a huge community who you help so much with these videos, and we love and support you.
So sorry to hear about your mother's passing. Many hugs from fellow brain.
Lost my mother in September. I know how you feel. Prayers.
I’ve been thinking of getting a Psychiatric service dog for my ADHD and Autism:)
Also Very sorry about your mom,She looked like a wonderful lady
Thank you so much! And good luck in your journey, I highly recommend :)
@@HowtoADHD thank you! Chloe is beautiful lol,She definitely looks like she could be a great service dog,Here’s a little tip though,Make sure to keep your emotions in check,if she’s trained as a Psychiatric Service dog,she’s supposed to be in tune with your emotions,So if you get frustrated with her,she’ll get frustrated :)
I'm curious about something, ¿how It feels have autism and ADHD? I have understood that both have a lot of differences in what refers to brain functionality, because for example in the ADHD there is low activity in the prefrontal cortex and the autism there is high activity in the same part, which means the facility for the autistic people for maintain the same activity for long periods of time, stuff that does not happen in the ADHD-ADD people.
@@hermanblanco2189 See,With my Adhd It makes it hard for me to focus On certain things,But then I get too focused on them,With my Autism,I get highly over-Stimulated In public situations,It sucks but is also a blessing :)
@@kirishimaejiro7761 Mmm interesting, ¿How did you realize that you have both?
I'm so sorry for your loss, I believe and hope you will be okay, I love you and your videos so much they've helped me so so much, I am in full support of psychiatric support animals for adhd and wish very much that I had one, good luck on this journey and I love you!
I lost my parents when I was a teen 15 years ago and this still hits me so close to home. Today is also the year anniversary of losing my uncle, the closest person I had to a parent since then. You are not alone. And everything you are feeling is valid and normal.
Jessica, my heart goes out to you. Now is a good time for lots of self-compassion. I know you can weather this storm too, and that it will take time. Lots of time. Let the people around you support you, especially Chloe.
When you are ready you will come back to us, because we value what you do and you are good at it. It is a way to honor your mom, too. You’ve shared how much she supported you in your search to understand your brain and ours. Thank you for everything. Now take the time you need. I trust you will find the perfect way to honor your grief and your mom. Hugs.
I am so so sorry to hear of the passing of your dear mum, hugs and kisses.
My heart broke watching this. Just discovered your channel, and I've had a lot of similar struggles. You handled the loss a lot better than I would have in your shoes. Chloe might be a perfect example of what someone might need in this situation. Thanking you for putting yourself out there and being vulnerable, you're making a difference.
As a dog trainer with ADHD, I have definitely thought about the possibility of training a service dog for myself. After my brain comes back down from the clouds I typically find myself saying it really wouldn’t be worth it for me. Because I am so active in the dog world and dogs are my whole life I rarely do things without them.
That being said I have played around with some tasks that my dogs can do when they are with me at home, at work (perk of being a trainer lol), at trials, and even training outings and classes/clubs. After multiple rabbit holes of “maybe, what if’s” I have concluded that the best option for me is to eventually foster service dogs and reap the benefits of having a dog with me at all times (whether the tasks it’s trained to do would help me or not) and I would be able to help someone else who needs a service dog to grow their independence.
There is no perfect answer or solution. I say look for a trainer that has a good reputation, gets good results, and is passionate and capable of helping you. Be carful of scammers and ask lots of questions to make sure they understand service dog laws (ADA.gov) and how public access and task training works. Service dog training isn’t something ever trainer can or should do, but there are definitely some really good ones out there!
Society is just now beginning to grasp that mental disabilities are 'real' disabilities.
I too struggle with guilt, even though it's clear I'm disabled.
Saaaaame
You know what? I'm happy that I'm different
@@crazymike1706 that's a good thing.
This was such a powerful video. I feel exactly the same way about taking my medication. Thank you for putting it into a different light of “if it helps me and doesn’t hurt anyone, why not?” Also I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you’re in. I hope you find some healing and comfort soon. You’re not alone, even when it feels like it ❤️
I'm really sorry for your loss. I am really thankful you chose to share this with us and also your plans with Chloe. Your videos have always been extremely validating for my experiences as someone with ADHD and a variety of other things and seeing you go through this process and consideration is also one of them. You don't have to do these things but you chose to and I want you to know it is helping a lot of people. Your parents are still proud of you wherever they are now
OMG 🤗 🖤, I absolutely love how you are so open with us Brains and share not only the raw emotions that are brought on by your ADHD but also how you share the most difficult moments in your life. I love watching your channel because of how "real" you are with us. You not only share thoroughly researched scientific facts about ADHD but also your story with ADHD in your life, without hiding those raw moments, and I find that extremely refreshing. Thank you!
Ive been struggling and trying to cope with my adhd since I was diagnosed at 3. On and off different meds, different therapists, neglectful adults, and turning to alcoholism and weed. It gets really bad for me some days too. Im at a better place now and then I discovered your channel 2 weeks ago and its helped me remember my adhd is something that deserves help. Same for me with the feeling like I shudnt need to take my meds. My mom has stage 4 colon cancer and its spreading... so when you said your mother passed unexpectedly that hit for me and I was crying with you.
Me nd my mom aint that close these days cuz of other familial things I have trouble forgiving her for. Yet though you didn't mean to, the light you eminate by having the bravery to share your life like you do with this channel has made me reevaluate that. Thank you for doing what you do. I believe your mother is so proud of you frfr, here's in hopes mine can be of me too. May your mother rest in paradise, she raised an exceptional human being. ❤💯🙏🏽
I deal with ADHD, among other challenges, and my emotional support dog has really been enormously helpful. If your dog can be trained to help you out even more than she has been, I'd say go for it! I'm sure you've heard these exact same words many times before, but I'm so sorry about your mom. I hope that you'll be able to give yourself the time and space to grieve.
I have several disabilities, none of them visible and all of them “minor” enough that I can suck it up and compensate well enough to function like everyone else the vast majority of the time (or at least appear to). “That’s more deserving of support” is something I, and I think a lot of people, struggle with because, hey, at least I can still walk (or whatever other comparison I come up with to discount my own difficulties). Thank you for the reminder that it’s not a competition and the fact that there are people who need more support that we do doesn’t mean we don’t need it at all.
OMG! my dogs got excited when you asked Chloe if she wanted to go outside. My dogs heard it on the video. My dogs want to go outside now. I am so sorry for your loss.
awww sorry! Chloe kept wanting to too, while I was reviewing the footage 😂
Crying Jessica in thumbnail makes me so sad T_T
Thank you for your videos
I know words arent enough to help. But you've been such a huge help to so many people. Seeing you in pain made my heart clench. Im sending nothing but the best vibes to help you heal.
PLEASE! Document the journey and links to resources/trainers as you go to help others look into this option. =)
will do!!
“She’s a really calming presence.”
Me- ~watching my boxer un-make my bed for the 3rd~ I wonder what’s thats like
My boxer is a numbskull also.
They are so hilarious and adorable at it though lol
Keep strong and never forget that with your videos you are saving other people's lifes even when sharing such personal moments like this. Thank you
I’ve also considered getting a service dog and I’m struggling with that. But dealing with that heartbreak and grief would be so so hard and I’m so proud of you for dealing with things!
I'm so sorry that your mom passed away. I know that it is very difficult. I lost mine when I was 13 and I'm still struggling with the effects it had on me, 4 years later. What I can tell you is that you need at least one person to talk to and that it would probably be helpful if this person isn't attached to your life. Like of course it is important to tell your boyfriend how you feel and maybe close friends but I really wanna recommend to you talking to a specialist or just someone who works in that kind of field even though you probably do. I just wanted to leave this out here for you, just in case. And of course, if you read this, you can talk to me if you want to. I mean I know, we don't know each other but I'm quite a good listener. This of course is also a "service" to everybody in the comments struggling, who found this comment. Just come talk to me, cause it can be a lot easier to talk to strangers
I'm so sorry - you know to just let feelings come - it's a long process & there's no rush to "heal" - I was right there only 3 years ago - sending you lots of love! Chloe will be an incredible support whether she's formally trained or not. Blessings - Viki
From watching your video on Dogs & ADHD I actually ended up getting my own emotional support dog. I rescued a retired racing hound and honestly I can say it’s the best responsibility that I could ask for. It took a lot of paperwork and a lot of back and forth with the apartment complex but it’s been such a huge help!!
I am so sorry for your loss. I bawled along with you the entire video. What you are doing is so important for so many people, thank you for sharing your life with us.
I never knew I needed a service dog until last fall when I moved in with my parents and brother and we adopted a puppy. I was shocked, I felt genuinely happy or “ok” more often than I ever had before. It turns out that it had the same effect on my father. He is much healthier, happier and more relaxed (even in covid!!) just from being more active with the pup.
If you are a very sensitive person(maybe you have ADD, Autism, Anxiety or depression), loving and caring for a dog can make sure a big difference.
Gosh I'mso sorry you lost your Mom. Your such a sweet and gentle soul. I'm sure your Mom was very proud of you. Having such a tender heart, and your so real and vulnerable. I think this world needs more people like you. Take care of yourself, and know that your Mom would want you to prosper and thrive, and continue to bring enlightenment to all the people who need your story. God bless you!
Jessica, you are helping so many people with similar issues. As a 56 yr old mother of 2 ADHD sons and I myself am ADHD, your videos help me tremendously in dealing with all 3 of us. And I have to say that you are so precious and open and my heart aches for you as you mourn your beautiful mom! She must’ve been a very special soul and she did a wonderful job raising you! God bless you and your siblings. Stay true to yourself and Chloe, we all have strengths and weaknesses - which makes us human. 💝
I am so, so sorry for your loss. If there's any chance that you will see this, I wanted to let you know just how appreciated you are. I just discovered your channel yesterday as I'm trying so hard to help my undiagnosed, exceptionally bright and inquisitive 8 year old son as he is struggling with the school environment (both in class and socially) and I feel like he has been shutting down emotionally the past couple of years and it breaks my heart. I can't thank you enough for your openness, candor, vulnerability, knowledge and those fantastic tips!! Please know that you are helping so many people not only those with ADHD but their loved ones as well. Take it extra easy on yourself right now. Sending you long-distance love and support.
That news hit me like a brick so i can only imagine what you are going through. I'm here for you in spirit Jessica. I love everything you do and i must say that dog is amazing.
Thank you for being there for me.
Even though your dog isn't a trained dog. She will know when you need her. Ciaran sticks by me when I need him. My mom is actively dieing and I lost my dad two weeks before covid
I am so, so sorry. I lost my mum a couple of years ago and it was the most awful, difficult thing. You are such a wonderful, strong person who has had an incredible impact on the lives of so many people all over the world... but please take whatever time for yourself you need to process this awful loss, OK?
Hugs, good wishes, and love to you and your family
I'm sorry about your mom
as one of the representatives for Youth ADHD West Norway and have ADHD myself and my big brother also have ADHD and Autism and i feel you allot on this. lately i have actually recomended your channel to some parents and kids and other ADHD representatives in norway becouse you explain how ADHD works so god damn well, we all appreciate you and your work, Thank You.
- Representatives for Youth ADHD Norway and some Speakers of ADHD Norway
My dog has changed my life! She helps give me a routine, and a place to redirect my distraction :) and the love ❤️
I am just watching this and my heart goes out to you even though this happened two years ago. I lost my mom in 2018. It’s the hardest thing to take in and I appreciate your strength. I respect you so much for your transparency and thank you for sharing. I’ve been struggling with ADHD and your videos have helped me immensely. Thank you! 🙏
your videos have helped me so much. been going through some dark times.. and i sit there watching your videos with a notebook and pen trying to save myself from my livingroom floor.
your videos are a testiment of not only the impact that you have in your own life and the lives of others, but also the impact your mom had in your life. you left a record for all of us seeking guidence of how huge she is in your life and how she gave you structure. that's you taking the love she gave you and multiplying it. keep going.
take time to process what you are feeling and take time to get settled in your new normal. but remember your brain is built to seek rewarding realities.
when my uncle passed away I felt so lost. he was my structure. it was hard, and it still is hard. but eventually i realized everything reminded me of him. so I used it to my advantage. I created new structures within my new "normal" that honored all the memories of him structuring me. I still fail in life and i still have random days where the wounds feel new... but I know he'd be proud. Now everything that reminds me of him is a cue for me to practice loving myself and setting myself up for the realities he would set me up for if he were still here. I learned his behavioral algorithem while he was alive. now that he's gone... i'm here reminding my corner of the universe that he existed in ways that leave not only his mark, but mine too.
idk if any of these words help. but. you're one of my heroes. I think you will put your whole you into this new existence and slowly build the muscle memory, support and structures needed to get settled in and continue to do great things.... this applies to training a service dog too. you call us apex predators "brains" lol and you DARE to give us structure with all the understanding you have about our brains. that's a gutsy move, and you COMPLETELY pull it off... but you didn't become this version of you in a day. it took time. it took trial and error...
trial and error is just the beginning of all the best scientific descoveries. so stay curous, stay creative, stay observant and stay... you.
hope you have a (your adjective of choice) day! take care dude.
I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you💖🙏
I'm so sorry about your mom. My whole world was knocked on end when I found out my dad died unexpectedly. You're in my prayers.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I lost my Nana in the beginning of this year, and it was really painful not to be able to have a proper service and go through the grieving process with other people. Oddly, watching through all of Caitlin Doughty - Ask a mortician's channel really helped. And dogs. My two pups are life savers, even if they're not trained. I hope you feel better soon, and thank you for all the wonderful content you put out. It's a bright, beautiful corner of the Internet, I really appreciate you
I'm so sorry, and I hope you are OK, losing your Mom I can't even imagine. We lost our good dog Saturday, and I buried her out in the pasture Sunday. I felt an incredible sense of guilt, for leaving her outside in the cold and dark, and i ended up sitting by her grave a lot of the night to just be with her. I hope you feel better, and I really use and appreciate your videos as a vital tool to dealing with my own ADHD issues, and RSD. You rock!
First off, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but my heart hurts to know you’re hurting, and I hope that you can find peace in time.
Second, I think it’s a wonderful idea for you to train Chloe as a service dog. I researched the idea extensively (read: hyperfocus) for a while, and there are a lot of ways that a service dog can help with our particular brains.
Some tasks I considered using:
-responding to alarms/timers (to make sure I actually do what they’re set for)
-reminding about medication
-prompting me to stand up and move around when I’ve been hyperfocused for too long
-deep pressure therapy for anxiety/sensory overload
-probably more but I’ve forgotten
One resource I loved is a youtube page called “My Dog and Me, LLC.” The gal has done a whole bunch of videos to make service dog training (and thus service dogs themselves) accessible to anyone who might need it.
They’re really great videos, very clear and engaging, especially if you watch them on 2X speed lol.
Anyways, I wish you the best of luck in moving forward, with both the exciting and the difficult things.
Thank you for everything you’ve done for the ADHD community. You’ve been there for us and we’ll be here for you in whatever ways we can.