How to (Actually) Get Out the Door on Time
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- Опубліковано 26 чер 2024
- Hello Brains! I would write a description for this video but I'm running late
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How to (Actually) Get Out the Door on Time Music:
"The Show Must Be Go”, “Life of Riley”
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Jess, I absolutely love your videos and love the fact that you are posting more! Your channel has taught me that you don't need to have 1 million subscribers to change someone's life, because it's not about the amount of subscribers you have but the lives you change. And Jess you have changed my life and helped me beyond. Hope you see this
I'm not crying you're crying
Omg
This is me, same
I’m 13 I know 13 sucks it’ll get better
but this channel helps me be aware of how adhd affects how I act and how I can prevent some annoying symptoms
Ellie,Take it from a Dad - this will get easier as you get older, you need that time to figure out what works for you (fidgets, post-its, bullet journal(s), colour coding (maybe all of them - maybe something else!)). !!!PLEASE!!! get your parents and/or a trusted adult(s) involved to help you - and hold you accountable - the adults in your life can't help if they don't know that there's a problem! My oldest really struggled, even with the meds and a lot of guidance - we ended up changing schools because she wasn't getting the support at the school she was at - believe it or not, the private school failed her and it are the teachers in the public schools that came through for us. She's 16 now and making mostly B's and a few A's - couldn't be happier with her --- IT WAS A STRUGGLE and an occasional (OK, A LOT of...) argument(s) and I'm sure she didn't like me very much several times (I'm her Dad 1st!), but we have found a way that works for her! Stick in there, and please keep in mind that you are not alone (!!!) and you are loved - and the more you learn about ADHD the better position you are in to not only help yourself but help those that care about you help you. One more thing.... teenage kids can be harsh on their peers... ignore the haters and the bullies, they don't make very long it in the adult world and that's very sad for them.
z.pv.nrt
Thanks
Really thank you
Almost 300k subscribers is not too shabby
ADHD things: panicking because you're late for being early
Lmao soooo true!
The Sass Cat this is me
College starts at 9:00am (8min walk from my apartment) and I panic if I don't leave by 8:00am
Actually tho that’s why I can’t leave early bc I’d panic anyways
It never occurred to me that other people share this "quirk." 🤦🏽♀️😅
Oh yeah I have to pack my lunch the night before, whenever I'm like "maybe I'll just make something in the morning" I just have to remember that NO, U WON'T, IT'S A TRAP
INTERESTING THIS SET UP LAY OUT CLOTHES FIX LUNCH SHOWER NITE BEFORE I HAD MY 3 DAUGHTERS DO TO KEEP MORNINGS LESS INSANE CRAZY
LOT OF MY PARENTING NEED TO PARENT CHILD IN ME❤
STARTED AROUND 7PM THEN BED AT 8 BUT WELCOME TO READ IF THEY WANTED TO...RESULT 3 GREAT READERS WHEW SOMETHINGS DO WORK...GOT COMPLAINTS WHY DIDNT HELP HOMEWORK...DAMN SUPERWOMAN NOT SUPERHUMAN
VOLUNTEERED IN KIDS CLASSES ACTUALLY HELPED
MY CHILDHOOD ABUSE NEGLECT EXCEPT SOME TIME WITH GRANDMOTHER AND FEW CARING TEACHERS....ADHD ?? NOT EVEN ON THE INFORMATION. ANY ONE. TOOK TIME HELP AND CARE ALWAYS GRATIFYING AND HUGE HELPED
SEE NEXT REPLY ADHD SHOWS UP EVERYWHERE
Me with showering, tbh
Can never shower in the morning cause I struggle too hard to actually get out of bed before I absolutely have to. So I need to shower before bed, even if it ends up being past midnight and I'll get way too little sleep.
Or you pack lunch the night before, forget to take it the next morning
OR
You pack lunch the night before, take it and either forget you have it or look at it and don't want it at lunchtime...
I have sooo many things that I manage to "trap" myself about, delaying them until morning, but then morning brain has no clue how to take a shower or make breakfast... Morning brain even forgets it needs caffeine and nicotine to function, until it's right in front of me and I go like "Oh that's what I was missing". The only thing that really really helps is loud, upbeat music - and suddenly I don't have to think about how to put on socks, or where I left my comfy bra (different place every time, I swear!), or remember to put those dirty dishes into the dish washer right away, before they pile up. Music is such a life-saver!
"It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility" is the best reminder EVER
this is my favorite mantra and applies to pretty much everything in life
Yep. This 👆
Spiderman with great power comes great responsibility 😆
The concept I have been struggling to put into a simple sentence.
I give up.
When you said "it's not like we're being irresponsible, it's that time looks really fuzzy to us" I literally burst into tears... One of the hardest aspects of my ADHD has been how everyone treats me as if I'm lazy or I don't care enough. :(
Yeah. And then you have a hard time excepting yourself for who you are because you've been criticized, bashed, and beaten down by many.. it's even more sad once you realize you had no idea why you did the things you did, you thought you were some outcast who'd have to live with your mistakes and lack of equality for the rest of your life. It's not that we don't care, we just have a hard time getting there, y'know? it's even more exhausting when you try to mask for others, and erase your mistakes just to "fit in". We'll get through this, though! Hopefully.
Still struggling with how people treat me and what they believe. I’m 54. These videos have helped me in a lot of ways too.
@@Wranglerlaura im glad. You're not alone. :)
@@Wranglerlaura ❤
Yup🤍🤍🤍
"It's harder to stick to something when the newness wears off"
OMG that explains sooo much in my life!!!!!
same!!! but who do you get out of this situation??
@@marinapaloglou2868 be honest with yourself about what you want/need and use motivation/timing hacks to self-discipline!
@@alessandrarosales7174 Any motivation or timing hacks you care to share? Even just keywords so we can look them up ourselves?
That is so dang relatable
Right?! I just started a new job and that started with a training, and now i passed the training and my motivation/attention is just gone.. 😅
"How to be on time: 1. Do things the night before"
MY GREATEST NEMESIS
RIGHT?? I've always wished that I could do my hair and makeup the night before. Ugh - the struggle is REAL.
@@KelleyBroussardMackaig so relatable 😩
@@KelleyBroussardMackaig I agree with this so vehemently. Haha!
@@KelleyBroussardMackaig This is why I have never done my hair or makeup for school. I never understood how other girls had the time. I became a "tomboy" this way. I can do it for night events only.
I used to get very frustrated with my niece and nephew getting ready for school in the am. Both have adhd. I do not. We were always scrambling to get to school on time and being late stresses me. It made no sense because they were dressed and ready to go but it still seemed to take 10 minutes just to get out the door and into the car.
I finally figured out that for me, when it is time to leave, I get up and go. They can not do that. I started telling them it was time to go ten minutes before I wanted to leave. By doing that, we were all in the car and ready to pull out of the driveway on time.
As a non brain, I may never understand why it takes so long to get in the car. But I don’t need to. I just need to know they need that time and adjust the schedule accordingly.
I used to get yelled at a lot, exactly for this. It seems like a good idea to start them getting ready earlier. Maybe set an alarm that dings when it's time to go to get their attention. I don't know, I wish I or my family could have experimented with some of the tips here, maybe they would have worked
Joanna Myers I learned very early on that they could not “see” time like I could. So I have alarms set on my phone essentially every 15 minutes so they can be aware of time passing. Each alarm rings to a different song so they can tell by the song where in their morning routine they should be. They now know that when the Castle theme song plays they need to be doing coats and shoes and heading for the car. And when Miracles happen plays, they should be in the car with seatbelts on. It has really helped them.
@@shywolf4 I love that. The different theme songs is a brilliant move.
My mom does this exact same thing with my dad and I
Reading your comment made me so happy 😭 it’s wonderful how much of an effort you make to help them and provide structure for them. It’s so easy for ADHD kids (and adults lol) to feel discouraged by so consistently not being able to get out the door on time, so seeing you actively trying to create routines that work for them makes me such a happy brain!! 👍
I get so frustrated sometimes. I can get up hours in advance to make sure I'm ready on time, but I still end up leaving late because my time blindness makes me leave everything to the last minute! :(
Thank you Jess for making these videos and for putting so much I to The research for them!
Me too!!!
Hi! I’m the son of the creator of Brili, thanks for mentioning the company!
Thank you for dropping a note!
I’m definitely going to give it a try.
NUGGET!!!!!!!
So cool
I didn’t know NUGGET has ADHD
I feel adhd representation in video games has gotten better
Say hi from the adhd comunity to gtlive
Please, please make Brili for adults !! I just started my 30 days
I need this in my life c:
Omg do a boredom episode. I’m 39 and just found out other people dont feel boredom is a literal torture.
Yess
I keep myself from being late by leaving insanely early for everything but this has a catch 22 because this means I am waiting a lot because I am so early a lot of the time. One way I helped with boredom is I started to crochet. It also keeps your hands busy so it can be like a productive fidget tool and is a great thing to do during meetings too. You can keep a project bag in your car so that you don’t have to worry about forgetting one more thing.
I would like a boredom episode, too. I've found I don't get bored as easily as many people (I'm great at entertaining myself)... but I'm also a LOT more likely to use the term "horrifyingly boring" and try to avoid whatever sounds horrifyingly boring at All Costs.
@@saralouise9341 Me too! Any small, portable hobby is great. Before I learned to knit & crochet, I never went ANYWHERE without a book to read. Mobile games are good for that, too -- I used to leave to go places extra early when I was playing a lot of AR games (Pokemon Go, Ingress) to see if there were any portals or gyms near my destination.
Now I take my bullet journal everywhere, so if I have downtime, I can always review my schedule or jot down whatever weird ideas pop into my head while I'm waiting.
Sara Barry I do embroidery, so I can relate to that.
I keep missing the same appointment, make a replacement appointment, and then repeat until I'm too embarrassed to contact whatever office again.
PICK ONE DAY EA WEEK ONLY FOR ANY APPTS NARROW DOWN TO AM OR PM EVEN BETTER THEN EA WK I CK TUES PMS ANY APPTS AND TRY AVOID TRAFFIC TIMES
Timing how long it actually takes to get to an appointment, including parking and walking in, was a huge help.
Also my daughter invented "mommy time", in which she started telling me she had to be places before the start time so she would be late even if I, the chauffeur, went back 3 times for things I forgot. Hint: if you do this, use a multiple of 5 minutes. Your ADHDer will catch on if you tell them practice starts at 4:33.,
Yes my mom has “Angie time” so everyone expects her like at least an hour late for a party for example
I used to do this for my dad. We both have adhd so it helped both of us. were were still late but never as bad. Now my husband does this for me... dang ADHD
Ok Good Idea, but seriously how do you deal with the mixture of "CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST TELL ME THE WRONG TIME SO I MIGHT ACTUALLY GET THERE ON TIME?!"(I just think that😅) and "Seriously you would lie to me just to make yourself more comfortable?!" And then going into resistance because you feel manipulated😅 because I think that's kind of an issue for me😅
@@vanessawinkelmann7288 I tend to put things in my calendar as 30mins earlier than when I need to be there. If it's a 30min trip, I need to leave at LEAST 1hr before. Usually, I run 15min behind... but still get there on time. Usually 😅.
@@ShavonesDesigns Sounds like a good Idea. I will try that, Thank You^^
People don't understand why I get to work hours ahead of time. (I work at a casino.) Look, I'm serious, I can either be two hours early or I can be 10 minutes late, there is no in between.
Yes! Me too! Early or late. There is no on time.
This is v reassuring thank you
I know this logic would be lost on my husband.... but I get it! I absolutely get it!!
3 hours early, or 1.5 hours late. Or .5 hours late. Or 45mins late. Mostly late. With nothing to explain for it. Late. Late late late.
My internships and teachers at school always complimented me that I always come in at least half an hour too early. But for me it's usually half an hour too early or god knows how late. Lol
As someone who's only newly discovered being a brain sometimes when I can hear the pain in your voice at the frustration it really helps. Love your chanel.
aw thank you that means a lot, it's hard to share sometimes
I second this!!!!!!!!!
@@HowtoADHD honestly the best thing about this channel is how honest and vulnerable you allow yourself to be. I sometimes watch when Im a mess just to feel less alone. It's like having a very comforting friend. ❤️
@@ladymirth same. Idk if i have ADHD but my mom has it and she taught me a lot of her struggles, because her only strategy was self hatred.
So I feel very heard in these videos and can also teach myself some much needed techniques.
"Its not your fault, but it is your responsibility"
So true. My high school guidance counselor was the first to point out to me that being late is viewed as disrespectful. To me, I never saw it as disrespect, it was just life for me.
To this day, I'm either 30 minutes early (and bored) becasue I plan ahead or 5 minutes late. No in between.
Reminds me of a quote from a movie called The Climb:
"It's not about being perfect, it's about taking responsibility for your actions"
Let's work together as Brains to learn how to be more effective and show those around us that we love them!
Thank you for all you do!
I relate to you. Thank you for this comment. Ah, your guidance counselor is/was right... I'm working on it, I swear!
You spoke about using a playlist to help keep track of when to do certain tasks. I sing in the shower to keep track of time because there are no clocks in there.
1st song = soaking
2nd song = shampoo and applying conditioner
3rd song = bodywash and brushing teeth
4th song = rinsing out the conditioner and using a facial cleanser, sometimes I use a pumice stone during this song
Some days require a 5th song. If I reach 6 songs, I know I've spent too long and I'm going to be late.
I recently put a clock in the bathroom. It's got big, high contrast numbers and hands so I can read it without my glasses, and I installed it high up so I can see it OVER the shower curtain. The only real downside is that I see it in the mirror when I'm brushing my teeth.
wait I'm not the only one doing this?
My roommates practically called me crazy over this habit
I set a timer or sometimes a podcast.
Ha! I thought it was just me who did this! Without music my shower can easily be 30 minutes long. With music, about 9 minutes.
you are on a higher level than the rest of us holy macaroni
I was supposed to be at a thing ten minutes ago... but there's this new video from my favourite channel: How to ADHD!
d'awww thank you!!!
Me too!
“Yay! Total lack of accountability!”
Me all summer
just wait till summer of 2020
This aged well
oh hey rachel LMAO
When your hyper focus leads to hyper disappointment after you've watched the entire 118 video playlist in 3 days......
Hope this helps explain it *sends straight to girlfriend to explain why we are always running late for everything*
@@NC-gm2lb not just neurotypicals, my ex boyfriend is autistic and whilst he tried to be supportive he was never able to understand why I couldn't be on time for things and it caused a lot of friction between us
@@iainmaclean3879 wow, I didn't know autistic people could keep track of time! Ignorant me.
Your videos have helped me so much. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 13. I'm now 19 years old, and I realized that I haven't actually understood what my ADHD was. I knew that I had trouble being attentive and had poor time management, but I had so many other problems that I thought was just because of me being dumb, incompetent or insensitive. Your videos have helped me to recognize that most of the things I struggle with are because of my ADHD, and I've been able to be more compassionate with myself since. Thank you so much for your channel and the help you've provided to so many people, myself included
Saaaammmeeee
I'm 52 and (because both of my kids were diagnosed in the past 3 years (20 and 23 now)) I got diagnosed last September. It's been such a year and finding this channel has been a lifesaving Godsend! I had NO idea that the reason I did the things I do is because of figuring out coping mechanisms for myself. I watch these videos and read the comments and realize that I am not the ONLY ONE who feels dumb or incompetent because I forgot to do something or misplaced something important. Over the years I've developed techniques (I should buy stock in PostIt!) and have multiple calendar and phone alarms so that I don't miss things. I also keep notes on my phone for groceries (that way when I think of something we need, I just put it down). I also have learned that when I park in the garage for work, I need to put the car's location in my phone - something like "3rd floor, right off elevator, halfway down on the left" just so I don't wander the garage for literally HOURS (yes, this has happened!) because I forgot where I parked.
Thank you Jess.
Hi, if you don’t mind me asking how did you find out and get diagnosed with ADHD? I’m 13 right now and I’m really struggling, but my fam doesn’t want to hear anything about In cuz I’m ‘great in school so everything’s fine’ 😑
Amy Johnson you can have ADHD and still do well in school. Having good or bad grades does not determine if you have it. What makes you think you might have ADHD?
Rebecca Fife I know that good grades don’t mean anything, but where I live people don’t know a lot about ADHD and most think it’s just little boys being hyper. I had really bad focus and time skills since forever and my family have always teased me about it, but it started getting in my way quite a lot in the last few years (school got a bit harder and now I often have to catch up on my own, I don’t finish chores/assignments cuz I get distracted or I forget them altogether, i always fidget/doodle to help me listen in school, i often get distracted by things others don’t even seem to notice and i can get overstimulated by loud environments etc.), but I just don’t know how to make my family see I’m struggling 😕
This one was more wonderfully validating than newly educational (for me) because I already do a lot of this stuff. My husband gets so annoyed with timers "always going off" or that I always do the before bed routines and the "cleaning songs" to keep up with the daily chores, but it's honestly what allows me to function. It was so awesome to see the things I'm doing aren't "crazy" but instead legitimate coping mechanisms. Thanks for your videos that are always so informative, warmhearted, and humorous
MY HUSBAND SAID I WAS TO CONTROLLING DOMINATING BECAUSE STAY ON TOP KEEP IT SIMPLE KEPT ME SANE AND FUNCTIONING RUN WHOLE HOUSEHOLD....ONCE IT GETS BEHIND MORE THAN 10 MIN HOUSEWORK SEVERELY BORING IMPOSSIBLE PILES BEGIN....
I don’t know if this is ADD related but the best thing I ever did for my mornings was buy an alarm clock with a wake-up light that gets gradually brighter for 30 minutes before the alarm.
After decades of chronic lateness for work, now I’m frequently one of the first people in the office. Because of the light, I’m not shocked awake with no idea where I am, who I am, or what that loud annoying beeping noise is (I used to lash out until it stopped somehow and then I’d go back to sleep). I rarely jump out of bed but now it’s a choice.
"I used to lash out until it stopped somehow and then I’d go back to sleep." Yup - that is so meeeeeeeeeeee. LOL
I use a nice melody. Uncharted Worlds from Mass Effect. Really helps with easing into things.
the phillips daylight lamp. I have it too
I actually have a routine that starts playing the news at my wake up time, so that it gets me ruminating on current events and I can't fall back asleep even if I wanted to due to the adrenaline, lol. I also do the lightbulb thing as well. Both make it nearly impossible for me to not get up for work on time.
Honestly my dog kinda helps, I set different alarms for different things and she’s learned them (by herself) so I hear the alarm and I see her do the routine (she’s normally very hyped about it) so I can’t ignore it or she will literally pounce on me...till I do what I’m supposed to be doing.
Edit-typos.
Dogs are truly man's best friend
My dog gets yelled at a lot, then I apologise when I realize she was alerting me to an alarm I set and forgot or couldn't hear in the shower
Debbie Marler bahaha that’s great!
my dog will put her head in the shower if I’m taking to long like she doesn’t trust me not to drowned 😂
Same here
I don't know what I would do with it my cat. She knows I have a really hard time waking up. When the alarm goes off, she comes and purrs next to my pillow while I hit the snooze button repeatedly. She helps me not fall asleep again in between snoozed and actually wake up gently.
Every flippin' point in this reminded me of something from when I was younger. Things I still have trouble with today. Being recently diagnosed as a dude in his 30s, this video helped explain a bit about me I couldn't necessarily put into words before. Thank you for what you do
Oh hey interesting to see you here . Knew you had adhd but didn’t know you watched this channel. Love your streams and vids
Dude, me too. When she talked about the cues, I suddenly remembered how as a kid, my dad would put on the opening song from The Goonies soundtrack and I had to get dressed before the song was done. And it worked!
I don't have ADHD myself but stumbled across your channe. I've actually been able to use your advice to help me better organise my own life, so thank you. Also as a 27 yr old I don't think I really knew how little I understood about people with ADHD so thanks again for enlightening us all on what It's like.
I was diagnosed almost a year ago at the age of 21, i felt my world collapsing on me. Getting into trouble at school, not completing school works, doing poorly for tests, late for everything and i mean everything. Your videos have helped me tremendously, thank you for making such a huge impact on my life! You've earned a loyal follower here!
I feel you. I was just diagnosed at 23. I was always smart, could pull off the really good grades but I was constantly late, my assignments weren’t done on time and I “zoned out” during class (unless I was hyperfixated on that subject). I am so angry for none of my teachers noticing.
Yeah, I get that!
I wasn’t diagnosed until age 56. I was both angry and relieved to be able to stop blaming myself and get some treatment.
I find I need to put my everyday things back in their "spot" so that I'm not panicking to find them in the morning! I've also made myself something like a capsule wardrobe so even if I'm rushed I'll still look presentable!
That is some outstanding advice!! Especially the putting everything back in their spots! My biggest culprit for being late is because I'm desperately ravishing the house trying to find things. 😤
I got that "capsule wardrobe", too - I call it the "emergency outfit"...cause of course nearly nothing is clean & dry when I need it...
That idea of making a playlist with songs to remind you of things you should do is great.
I just discovered your channel and I could almost cry. I’ve never been diagnosed with ADHD, but your videos resonate with me so much that I’ve decided I need to see a professional. I’ve felt so defective because I can’t be on time and can’t seem to motivate myself, but with an ADHD perspective, it makes so much more sense why I’m like this. Thank you for your videos.
Every time I watch a video of yours I get emotional. I have always struggled to do seemingly “simple” things, and hearing you talk about ADHD makes me feel seen.
I’m working on finding ways to get diagnosed, which is a struggle in itself, but your videos have already helped me acknowledge my patterns (whether I truly have ADHD or not).
Thanks for the work you do 💙
Same here! I wonder how many more videos before I stop getting emotional and just get used to it
Absolutely the same, I'm 37 and I'm just about to start the process of getting diagnosed - have been procrastinating and putting it off though, of course 😔
How did you know I'm always late? Who told you?!?!?
I've developed a strategy to pull me away from something to get me motivated. I call it "1, 2, 3, go", basically as soon as you realize you have to get going, give yourself 3 seconds to sit and then get up IMMEDIATELY on go. Works everytime.
My friends have joked about starting my funeral 15 minutes late. Those who know me will get it and laugh. Those who don't know me all that well won't get the joke. Morbid, I know, but I'm 45 years old and this is what I'm known for. I'm good at a lot of things and go out of my way to do extra to make up for being late (which then gets frustrating bc noone notices the extra and highlights the tardiness).
I'm better than I used to be (15 min instead of 45) and routines have helped significantly with that. I have a morning and evening routine and have padded both with an extra 30 minutes just in case. Now I get judged for being inflexible bc I live and die by them, but hey, choose your battles, right?
My Mom used to tease me for making a list to do everything from chores to cheerleading saying she could get 3 things done by the time I finished my list. I finally told her if I didn't make my list I wouldn't get 3 things done. I also put time frames (literal times like 2:35-2:50) beside the items on my list to keep me on task. In reality, I think my list just helped me know what to do next.
15 minutes of planning made for a much more productive process and prevented a lot of "but first" episodes. (I need to do the dishes, but first, let me see if there are any left in any other rooms, but first let me put this sweater in the laundry hamper, but first, let me empty the trash can in the bathroom,... and nothing actually gets done)
Sorry for the lengthy ramble, but this video is so relatable to my life. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and even though it is always my responsibility to be on time, it's not always my fault when I'm not.
I relate to this so much. It's sort of a crippling feeling for me. But I'm looking happily forward to diagnosing my mental health impairments and start working towards a better life.
Bruuuuuh I’m showing up to my own funeral fifteen minutes late 😂 Also ramble is good! Get those thoughts out and make yaself feel better! Good luck to you and your future endeavors 👍👍👍
“It’s not our fault, but it is our responsibility”. I can’t describe just how much of a game changer this phrase is. I felt the guilt and anxiety and avoidance draining out of me when she phrased it like that. 🥰
i made myself a few routine cards. it contains step by step actions i that need to do. and place these cards where they are needed.
example:
just arrived at the office routine (30mins):
1. unpack bag
2. open pc
3. create work tasks list
3a. check for upcoming meetings
3b. check emails for me
etc...
i also have a get-ready-for-work routine (1hour) and a just-got-home routine
My biggest advice for getting out the door, keep a tin by the door with keys wallet and anything small you're going to need for the day. You can put what you want in it the night before, if you can remember, lol!
It's a truly great tip. I believe she called it a "launch pad".
MY SECURITY SANITY SPOT PLACE OR BASKET
KEYS GLASSES WALLET JACKET ETC
THE SANITY IT SAVES IS VERY MOTIVATING
I tell people time feels “slippery” to me. I can’t get hold of it.
"Managing adhd is a constant reevaluation of strategies"
Thank you, good to know I'm not the only one in that boat!
Absolutely! I used to think that I was broken or something was wrong with me when stuff that had worked before would suddenly stop working! One thing that has helped me, is having a few different strategies, and then rotating through them. By the time I've been through 2 or 3 different ways of doing things the first way seems exciting again 💖
I am constantly telling my husband that I have to come up with new strategies regularly because inevitably after a while they don't work. It's a constant work in progress. Sadly I don't think he quite understands that. It was so validating to her her say this too. I am not the only one!
Finally I'm on time for an upload for once! This is the story of my life 😂
Yaay :')
subbed
@@HowtoADHD Thankyou! 😊
I needed this video. Thank you so much! My brain gets so distracted and confused with time.
I’m 24 and I just got diagnosed. It’s nice to have answers but it’s even better to have strategies. Thank you so much Jessica!
YESSS. THANK YOU for acknowledging that nothing is a permanent solution. That is my constant, CONSTANT battle, and probably the thing that frustrates me loved ones the most. I would love to see a couple boredom videos!! I only just recently was made to look at my reactions and emotions, with the help of my therapist, to realize boredom is probably one of, if not my main motivator AND obstacle.
Really hard sometimes....All the TIME. Its annoying to my family and of course myself I thank you for all the advice
Thank you, Jessica, for the great tips and for your wonderful support of Brili. I'm really happy to hear our product is helping. 🙂
Pierre Séguin i will try it now thank YOU
I just downloaded it and am VERY excited to give it a go. I think it's got the potential to be an actual life changer. Thank you for creating such an insurmountably helpful service. If you'd like, I'd be happy to come back and report my thoughts and feedback after I give it a shot for a few weeks...?
In my family growing up (in which I am about 90% sure I was raised by two adhd parents), we called it "Charland Time". My dad moved so slow and was always running late and my mom was never ready. Lol!
Now, my man is slow moving (we call it "sloth speed") and I am never as prepared as i should be or forget something.
..we are quite the pair lol
Thank you for all you do, your videos are suuper helpful to my family! For myself, my kids, and even extended family ("ooooh! Thaaat's why my mom did this....it is all is so clear now").
Much love, sister!
I was quite pleased with myself at getting to not one but two 9 am volunteering shifts this past week. The boost of confidence is palabible.
GOOD job Kelda, that is TRULY outstanding!!! 🙌
@@KelleyBroussardMackaig thank you
7:15 thank you for adding that on! Feel like it’s necessary to remind myself of that because I always feel bad when I find a strategy that really works for me and then just give up on it because it gets boring. It’s good to know where that comes from!
I am always early. I am ussualy half an hour early at school due to fear of being late. Also personal tip have a hair brush and deoderant in a bag then forgetting is not the End of the world has helped me When I forget.
Udit Gupta right I am thankfully I dont struggle horribly with it
I have a small fabric bin inside my coffee table with a hairbrush, ponytail holders, and deodorant for just that reason. I also keep our shoes and socks in the drawers underneath our TV stand so that nobody has to run back to their bedroom at the last minute.
My son, my daughter, and I all wear the same size socks, so I buy neutral ones that any of us can grab and throw on as we race out the door. (That doesn't mean they're boring, though -- the hippo socks are very much "first come, first serve," which inspires us all to try to get to the sock drawer early.)
Jade Dunston that is amazing! You are an awsome mum
@@ingvildkvakestad Thank you :D
I keep a travel sized deodorant in my bag because for some reason I always forget to put it on before I leave lol.
Best video on avoiding being late! Please do more videos on this topic. Extremely helpful to those around us who don’t know how we struggle with time management. Thank you so much. Sharing this with my loved ones.! 🎉🎉
I'm nearly in tears watching this, it really hits home
I LOVE you for this!!! You’re the first person I found after being diagnosed as an adult and you have helped me to understand myself sooooo much more and to be able to forgive my self for my “deficiencies” for lack of a better word. Thank God for you!
Aw thanks! Welcome :) Happy you’re here!
What I've found helps with leaving on time. Is to set my clocks to be 10 minutes off. The oven says 3:40 it's actually 3:30. But I get that "oh no I'm late!" feeling even though I'm not. The "I'm late!" feeling is what jump-starts the rush to leave. If I see a clock at 3:30 I'm like oh I have time. (does something that takes more than 10 minutes and is now late) Adjusting to the new time and remembering it's 10 minutes off doesn't happen. Cause I forget and just read the numbers in front of me at that moment. By the time I remember I'm already getting ready to go and don't have to worry about going back to being distracted from leaving.
Darkhorse douglas I find a random weird number works better, or I just calculate it in. Eight minutes rather than ten.
@@ienekevanhouten4559 I had it at seven minutes before. But our power went out and the roommate switched it to 10. Which meant it still worked cause I wasn't sure how far off they set it
I've always set the clocks 5 minutes ahead. It hasn't really helped. But maybe the answer is to increase it to 10 minutes instead!
The thing is I’ll be aware of the real time regardless of if that’s the only clock I look at or not. I’m always gonna remember that I set the clock to be wrong to trick myself
“As a teenager it was almost impossible for me to wake up in the morning.”
im in the sentence and i dont like it
This is one of my biggest problems. I feel like such a loser being late constantly and taking days to start something.
I just want to say thank you yet again. I got diagnosed last year at 24 and it has changed my life.
i do these things! you're right; they wear off and you have to make brand new strategies and it's exhausting.
Wait.. Did UA-cam read my mind?
Thank you for changing my life and teaching me more about ADHD! 😊
If, like me, you have grown frustrated with post-its that come unstuck or fall off or fade, the next level up from post-it notes is masking tape or painter's tape. You can write your reminder right on it in sharpie, it sticks way better than a post it but also won't wreck a painted wall when it's time to come off, and comes in at least a few different colours. Plus you can use it to stick things in handy places! Post it that says 'don't forget to bring forms to dr's' by the front door is good, actually sticking the forms next to the door is better.
Been watching your videos for a couple months now and I can't tell you how much less lonely you've made me feel in my own ADHD. I was diagnosed as an adult but struggled my whole life. Getting out of the house on time is one of my biggest struggles (I'm a Realtor) These tips were so reassuring- thank you!!
"If I'm there early I'll surprise people" is what I say on the days I try really hard bur only surprise people by being 15 minutes late instead of 1 whole hour late.
As a parent of a teen with ADHD...and a wife of a husband with ADHD, your videos and Dr. Barkley's research has been so eye opening and helpful to my understanding of the people I love and support. I wish I had found them sooner! Keep up the great work!
I’m a parent of someone with ADHD and these videos have helped me love and accept my son so ,I have better. Thank you
I got a notification.
I got to see her.
Now I can die in peace.
no don't die we neeeeeed you
@@HowtoADHD Then, I will sleep in peace.
"Since most of us are behind on something, or somethings" ouch
When I worked in youth programming and made schedules down to five minute increments, I got comments from adults about how detailed it was (usually compliments, but mostly kinda like "is that necessary?") and I would usually respond that everything takes way longer than we think and in order to expect a group of kids to move from thing to thing, we needed to account for every little transition/add 5 minute buffers EVERYWHERE. I am now realizing that those dry erase boards and exercises in assessing how long things would ACTUALLY take were probably most helpful for my Brain and that practice probably helped many neurodiverse kids in my groups. Thank you Jess!! I love your videos. You and your team are helping me go from resenting and fighting my Brain to loving it and communicating to others how it works (and raising my standards on what I can ask for/expect!).
Signed, a Perpetually Late Adult With Endless Shame Around It... working on it!
I can see a lot of things I can do to start helping the woman I love. There’s no reason I can’t help her/ do myself these things for her in the morning so she is ready. She’s worth it
I swear this channel has given me more validation, actual help and encouragement than therapy (but please go to therapy). You're doing a huge service iexactly the way we need it. Thank you so much!
I use the "Time Tune" app, thanks to your recommendation and it works wonders :) It means I do what I need done in the evening and morning, because otherwise, I've always been, on time or early but with unbrushed teeth, unbalanced meals, etc. plus I get anxious (my main moitivator up until recently) and stressed. The way to be on time was also to snooze my waking up alarm indefinitely, while I was already up and about as it got me to look at the time, and to be very very early and then do the work in advance. Now that I have a routine (yesss!) I also listen to postcasts/radio shows/audiobooks/UA-cam readings of books, that I already have listen to many times. It must bring the missing dopamine, because it gets me out of my chair to do stuff, I even listen to them in the car and I don't have to focus on them because I know them by heart.
As an aside, you look extra beautiful in this video!
At 2:46 I just lost it watching the "make bed" piece struggle to squeeze in XD (IDK why I'm sharing this, I just found it funny)
my goodness, the thing about tools and techniques needing constant re-evaluation resonated with me so much
I love your vids they help me soooooooo much.
With that said, tips:
1. sleep.
2. I found for me that if I have to be out the door for someplace/thing at a certain time I try to figure out the time when I have to be there, google where that location exists and find the estimate that googles tells me in the maps for how long to get there. If it gives me more than one route I use the time of the longest timed route with the fastest route to get there... Then I add a half hour... and that is when we have to leave out the door. If I have to get around before that or wake up or whatever my alarm on my phone gets set for an hour to an hour and a half earlier than the time I have to leave.
3. Remember that there is always something you can get there or it can wait. I am addicted to coffee (seriously I drink A LOT of it) but I also know that most times i can get it on the way or at the place when we get there. So I survive without getting it right away.
4. I keep things in the same spots. Until someone else moves them then I get screwed... BUT I keep things in the same places as that is where I remember them being last... Like keeping my wallet in my pants form the day before... As long as neither the pants or my wallet have moved I will be able to find my wallet... And if time is limited I also now have pants... So I win? lol
Decorum Mortis, I Love step 1. That is my biggest fault, and it is all my fault. I am actually typing this as I lay in bed hooked up to a cpap machine.
Hello Jess your channel has helped me so much over the years, when I was diagnosed with ADHD I truly thought no one understood what we go through everyday and when people say that ADHD is no big deal and just an excuse it really ticks me off but when I came here i felt understood for the first time. Unfortunately I have hit a roadblock that I am having trouble with. So basically no matter how many times I try to explain to my parents about how much this affects me they refuse to listen, and educate themselves. I was wondering if you had any advice for me to somehow make them understand ADHD fully. Thank you for everything over the years! 😊❤️
I’ve been watching every How To ADHD video for the past two years and I can honestly say this is personally the most helpful one I’ve seen to date. This was packed SO MUCH good information. Thank you for all the hard work you continue to put into every video, Jessica.
I always feel normal and understood every time I watch one of your videos. ❤️
🐕 This is Sammy he thinks you are, dazzlingly gorgeous, fantastically brilliant, a flawless masterpiece, stronger then you think, rockin' it, and that your friends are blessed to have you!!!!!!! Love you all, keep laughing, being kind, and rockin' your awesome self!!!!!! HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY EVERYONE, LOVE YOU GUYZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😘😘😘😘😘😘💕💕💕😘💕😘💕💕💕💕💕💕😘😘😘💕😘💕😘💕💕
thank you so much for the amazing burst of positivity (and emojiiiiiis!) Hugs!!
Literally crying tears of relief & joy for stumbling upon your channel today! The daily struggles of ADHD are so hard for people that don't have it to understand, and for myself as well and this is mostly from the incredible lack of education around what it actually is and the fact that for the longest time the research was only centered around children- mainly boys- so being diagnosed as a 28-year-old woman was so shocking that I didn't fully believe I had it for a long time. But thank you for making this channel, it's an answer to my prayers!
wow, you are incredible. your cute little bits where you kinda throw in there that you’re struggling too makes me feel less lonely. thank you so much for this channel it’ll probably change my life if i actually remember to do these things!
This video is yet another GEM! Totally using the "ADHD Toolbelt"! Thank you :)
Sometimes fear of consequences works ok for getting me to work/school on time, but i definitely always struggle with fun/social things. I usually text my friend “sorry, will be 15 minutes late because of who i am as a person” (unfortunately this is not professional enough to use when late for work 😂)
I'm waiting for my first appointment with my very first psychiatrist, and your channel's been a huge motivation for me to actually get started! You've have touched on so many things that feel 100% familiar to me. I can't describe how much of a relief it is to hear someone talk about things I didn't have the vocabulary to express. Thank you Jess!
For years my husband has been telling me; It's like you operate by a clock that functions at a different rate of speed than everyone else. I have always been so frustrated that it takes me sooo much longer to get things done than everyone else. Someone else may be finishing a task and I've just now got everything set up so I can begin. Thank you so much for explaining this. He is actually correct. I feel soooo enlightened!!!
Ha ha ha out the door on time. I was late for my own birth and will probably be late to my funeral and have been late for everything in between except for a gig, I have been late for rehearsal, but gig night is usually nerve racking enough on its own.
I have a checklist on the door. Keys, wallet, phone (pants with pockets), important papers, hat. AC set, Stove off, Dog watered.
I put money in the weekly movie fund when I’m late. my kids had $40 of free movie snacks #struggleisreal
This is only the second video of yours that I've watched. And I'm crying in relief; this is the acceptance and guidance I've been looking for my whole life.
Thank you so very much!!!
I absolutely love your channel, and it has often brought me to tears because it's the first time in my life that someone can eloquently describe the struggles that I have in my daily life. I wasn't diognosed until I was 23 but thought that I had adhd since I was in high school. One thing I really adore about your channel is so many resources are for parents or people that have to 'deal with' and 'put up with' adhd kids. This is one of the few resources where I can find help on how to manage myself as an adult; and not have people talking to me condescendingly because they think I'm lazy for not being able to do certain things. I love that you talk about and acknowledge the struggles, but also remind us that we are still accountable for our own actions and responsibilities. I honestly cannot thank you enough for how you have changed my life, I still have a ways to go, and a lot to improve on, but you help me narrow it down to one goal at a time, so that it doesn't seem overwhelming. It cannot be overstated that you and your channel has helped me to become a better me.
this would have been so helpful in high school lol i was late literally every single day
Same😂 I got detention so much just for being late
Omg I need this right now. #mylife
I'm so glad I found your channel! DD was just diagnosed predominantly inattentive type and your videos are helping me understand how she sees and experiences everything. Keep doing what you are doing. You are impacting mine and my daughter's life!🥰
Hi Friend! I wanted to thank you for all of the work you do! I’ve discovered your channel very recently and already it has been very eye opening for me. I’ve spent my entire life being told/believing that ADHD was just an excuse for being lazy or that it isn’t a real problem but you’ve helped show me that everything I’ve been told in life was wrong and you’ve helped point me in the right direction so I can improve my life and help the people I care about. Your videos are amazing and I hope you keep doing such great work for not just those with ADHD but for those who don’t understand the disorder or don’t have it at all. You are a blessing 🙏🏻!
Heya, thank you so much for those videos. It's so incredible to have somewhere to go to know that what you're struggling with isn't made up. You're the best Jessica.
Also I wanted to ask you and other brains: can ADHDers "think about several things at once?" I'm not sure how to put it but often, it's like it's litteraly like this. Sometimes, I'm thinking about so many things at once that I lose track of my own thoughts. Would love to know if anyone else experiences that.
yes, we think of multiple stuff at once
@@user-in3cf5qw3k glad to know I'm not the only one. Thanks!
Yup, I have to tell myself to get back on topic frequently
I like to set alarms on my phone that tell me how much time I have left before I have to be out of the door. And for sleeping, I set a couple alarms at different times, one of which says "Sleep!!!!!" But I don't always go to bed on time, so it's at least a way for me to know "oh yeah, it's 10 pm right now" so I don't stay up not knowing it's past midnight.
Setting different alarms on your phone that tells you how much time you have left before having to be out of the door is an OUTSTANDING suggestion. WOW! 💃
This episode is such perfect timing for me! Thank you so much! I've been really struggling to get out of bed on time in college. These past two days I've ignored my alarm and missed my morning classes. But just 2 minutes into the video I've realized that by leaving so much for me to do in the mornings before going to class, my executive functioning system is overwhelmed and making the choice to not sleep in becomes way harder because it's not just getting out of bed, it's getting out of bed + everything else I left for the morning! Thank you again!
Boredom, YES! I didn't know anyone else felt this way. I recall a couple of times getting to church way too early since my husband and I went in the same car for a change and he miscalculated the start time. And I was sooo bored for those 30 extra minutes before folks started arriving. And I realized yesterday at work I get bored with conversations that I can't relate to. Today I was on time for church for a change since I changed up my night and morning routines to make getting ready a priority, and that was a major win for me. Noticing something is a priority is another area I'd like to learn more about too. Thank you for all you do!
AHHHH, LOVE YOUR CHANNEL, YOU TEACH ME SOOOO MUCH AND ALWAYS CAN MAKE ME SMILE!!!!!!!!!! MY LITTLE SIS AND I LOVE WATCHING YOU!!!!!!!! Actually my hole fam loves watching you, and my Dad calls you," The happy fun ADHD lady!!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 But as my parents homeschool us, because of my and my sidlings Dyslexic and ADHD, my parents love watching you and learn how we crazy children work!!! You are amazing!!!!! You have changed my life, and I know many other ADHDers!!!!!!! Thank you for your vids, and all the love and support!!!!!! KEEEP ROCKIN' YOUR AWESOME SELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!😘😘😘💕💕😘😘💕💕😘💕😘😘😘💕💕💕💕💕💕
Oh, and I loveeee, Doctor Who, it is my fav show!!!!!!!!!! Who is your fav Doctor? Mine is either 10th or 11th, dannggg, they are cute and juicy!!!!!!!😍
Christopher Eccleston was my favorite but David Tennant is a close second. The Doctor is so hot! 😅
I always call my inability to know how long anything takes as "Time optimism." I'm optimistic this will only take 15 minutes! (30 minutes later)- T.T
Your videos give me hope, seriously...thanks for all you do
These videos are helping me understand myself and struggles, something I’ve felt guilty about my whole life, thank you so much for making this channel and giving us a place we can feel heard and helped:)!
I have this app ('Sag mir die Zeit') that tells you the current time at an Intervall of your choice. When I get ready I often have it running. It helps me get some time-intuition