Idk if this is an ADHD thing or not, but I’ve always had a problem with “making excuses”. I feel like everything needs to be perfect for me to do something I don’t want to do, like exercise, and if one thing goes wrong then I feel like I can’t do it.
procrastination is definitely common in ADHD...and we often find creative ways to do it. Perfectionism can be one. And sometimes there are other conditions (OCD, OCPD) involved. Have you talked to your doctor about it?
I understand this feeling well. I have autism, a high chance of ADHD, as well as type-O OCD. Combined they can make it hard to get things done sometimes as, like you said, everything needs to be perfect for it to go well. For example if I was planning to do a workout, but my mum ended up being late leaving for work, I then can't do it as my initial plan didn't factor that in, and I can't do it after she leaves as then my whole day routine will be off. Sorry for the long comment, just wanted to let you know you weren't alone in feeling that way ❤️
Perfectionism is the fear of failure. The idea that not only CAN you do things poorly, but that you SHOULD do things poorly has been a huge challenge for me to internalize as well.
“My body is for me, your body is for you”. Ok I’m a full grown man with ADHD and that made me bawl like a baby. Thank you for making life livable for us. This channel helps me through a lot. Thanks @How to ADHD edit: ok so I definitely wasn't expecting this many people to like this comment. You brains are awesome!
As a health coach, I really appreciate your openness here. The fitness industry has a terrible tendency to shout "no excuses!" or "Just Do It" but I try to tell my clients that I love hearing excuses. How can we overcome challenges if we refuse to talk about them? Thanks for your openness. This video made me a better coach
The best thing that work for me is a short 40 min training at the gym, every week day. I've been told by people that it's "useless and not enough" even tho... it works, I get stronger, healthier, tinner. The main reason it works for me is because I don't have to think "do I go to the gym today ?", the answer is always yes, I do not need to find time, the time is always taken by the gym and the fact it's a short workout, it's easier for motivation, cause I'm not heading to a 2h workout and if I don't feel it, well I can still go and give up after 20 min and go home, but the fact that I'm there, I'll most likely do it. If I went 2hours every day would it be better ? No, cause I'd give up, after a week or 2. I do not have to fight motivation, I do not have to remember when it's time to go. it's the system that works for me.
@@randomrandom450 you're the first person i've seen specifically mention time limits. I've found that the max amount of time I can spend fully invested and interested in an activity is about 45 mins and after that my brain wants something else to focus on. Its so much better for me when I work with this and don't try and make myself live according to someone else's capability
@@pixiebomb28 oh yeah, the 40 min is a wrought estimate. I actually focus on doing X amount of exercises (right now it's 4 exercise on upper body day, then 15 min cardio and 2 leg exercise on leg day), it's not really about time and hey, my comment in 6 month old, would you look at that: I didn't give up ;)
YESSSSSS.... this is the main reason I realized I have ADHD. It's been a lifelong struggle taking 10 times longer than anyone else to do a single task. I never understood why. But it's because I get lost in thought so very often--even if I'm not so hyperactive. I only made this discovery when my son was diagnosed with it as a kid.
Exactly why I regret taking myself off my meds, I felt better without them immediately, but 11 years of procrastination and slow productivity has in the long run left me feeling worse than when I was medicated
I remember my mother coming into my bedroom, the room still a disaster after I had been “cleaning” for an hour, and saying “did you get lost?” And most of the time, yeah, I genuinely meant to be cleaning my room, but look at this old story I started writing, I really wanna get back into this, plus I also found my favorite gel pens that I lost last year and-oh. Yeah, I got lost.
This is basically what I let "cleaning my room" become after a while. It works ok for me because I usually just take a day to go at it, and it's nice to revisit old memories and get back in touch with where I used to be. Plus, I usually get bored of whatever fond thing I'm revisiting soon enough, and then it's back to cleaning until I unearth some other lovely memories
why is this actually me yesterday? i was supposed to sort out the papers and things in my cabinet or how is the thing called and it took me almost 4 hours... my stories i wrote back then, pictures i drew, oh and this photo i found... so many things... and it took way too long... and btw that wasnt even the goal at the beginning because i just wanted to vacuum my room because i found a spider near my bed... so yeah...
I do my workouts before work. Sorta forces me to push play because if I don't do the thing, then I feel a certain way and it just throws off my whole groove.
Yes! Same here. After work, then bathtub with the kids, then wrangling them to bed i usually fall asleep within a couple of minutes of leaving their room.
This this this! I might do a single push up and then immediately the toddler in my brain gets bored and wants to stop. I don’t even get to feel the burn, maybe getting out of breath and nauseous, but swiftly very bored and annoyed
I’m sorry this is extremely off topic. I love that your videos don’t “penalize” me for zoning out visually. I keep audible attention but my eyes unfocus and a lot of videos I need to rewind because I “missed” something by not seeing it. Your videos don’t make me feel bad for that.
Yes! This! I was trying to listen to some other UA-cam video the other day and got SO frustrated because I kept getting lost. Was blaming myself, mentally calling myself names, etc. Then realized that important parts of the narrative were being put on the screen with like...no audio change or anything to alert me to even look. Glad it's not just me!
@@user-uh5qr1mb1o YES! I have an hour long commute to work and an ADHD podcast would be so much better than playing old episodes of new girl on my phone with the screen switched to the GPS 😂
"Those with ADHD often have to work longer hours to accomplish the same things. We don't have as much time afterwards to go out and play". I did not expect to hear this in an exercise-related video, but wow, it hit SO close to home. That and being too uncoordinated to qualify in team sports in school....(which led to social isolation for me). Jessica, you never cease to make me reflect on my past and see it in a different light (than just "I'm a failure"). Thank you
It made me feel so happy to see your house looking ‘normal’ in the background of some of these shots. So many vloggers look like they live in magazine houses and that’s not sustainable for me.
"I was born with a brain that wants me to move... and I'm bad at moving!" I can SO relate. Thank you so much for your candor; it's very brave and can reach so many people.
But I think it's an unfair self analysis to say that you are bad at moving. Isn't that rather harsh? You can move just fine. Just because you aren't an Olympic athlete doesn't mean you can't move well. I say if you like to move and you can move (if you are not paraplegic) then find your groove, whatever it is, and do it! And even dear Joni Earackson Tada moves to her best ability the muscle she can move, even painting with her mouth! But for those who can move more than her, we should not say we are not gifted with motion. This is actually a societal problem of comparing ourselves unreasonably rather than being grateful for who we are.
I feel a lot of this. For me the biggest barrier is space. There’s just no space in my home that I can use privately to work out and because I have so much embarrassment with the movement of my body I don’t feel like going outside or going to a gym is a possibility. And that’s in addition to the fact that my eyes are extremely sensitive to wind and light and I hate driving. It’s just frustrating to have these barriers and then have my family not understand how hard it is for me to get past them. Their only answer is to just do it anyway and I’m so tired of hearing that.
Do you have a bedroom to yourself? I’m just wondering about the space you mentioned to see if there is even a small space in your house that you can do workouts in as I do mine in my bathroom which isn’t always ideal. Some workouts I can’t fully do because there isn’t room for my legs or arms and I knock half of my counter down then the hanging shelves with my feet and it’s probably hilarious if anyone else saw it but yea. I also don’t like the gym my Dad started going again he’s like “dog you want to go the gym again?” Me: “unmmmm no. How many. Times. Do I. Have. To. Explain. To. You. That. I. Have. Anxiety disorders and adhd that make leaving the house for doc appts 10x more difficult pre-Covid, now it’s like 100x more difficult with Covid delta 2 etc. I have my workout mat you gave me and I don’t think gums are worth the $ (at least the one in my town it’s not a 10-20 month chain gym it’s over 100 a month) I don’t want to see anyone I know or anyone see me” *I love my Dad soooo much and believe he has adhd undiagnosed too I try not to shout at him bc I think he prob can’t Remember just like how I can’t remember things* & only my Mom understands out of my 3 siblings, and Dad, my Mom knows how much my adhd, anxiety disorders, hold me back. I am eternally grateful for my parents and I want to give back everything they did and still do for me but give them even more. Which isn’t really possible time wise but yea that’s off topic I’m sorry
@@DaisyAruba I think that great if it works for you, but if I couldn’t do an activity because of physical barriers, I would be more frustrated, especially since I would be continually interrupted by people, which would make me even more frustrated. If an activity is going to cause so much unnecessary frustration, I think it is just not worth doing.
I also dislike driving sooo much, and sensitive to light!! Is that an ADHD thing? I HONESTLY DID NOT take my ADHD diagnosis seriously until I started college again fall 2020 (remote I can’t drive a total of 80 mins for college classes. Tried before and it was like too overwhelming for me) I was diagnosed @ 19, and didn’t realize how serious ADHD is until age 25 when I was like wow I’m stuck with myself soooo much now, I see how much of this is ADHD I wonder if I take my ADHD meds on schedule if it’ll help. I was always afraid fo take them cuz of my anxiety disorders, but I tried it. The result: right now I feel like I am a diff person. As everyone says the pills don’t make life perfect they just help at least for me to function better and give me the ability to change my life.
I am 23 and just got diagnosed with ADHD, manic depressive disorder, and social anxiety. I thought being diagnosed would be liberating and validating but I feel off. These videos are helping a lot. Especially as I face people who are closet to me telling me that I don't have ADHD because I don't act like it and I just need to work harder. Your videos make me feel like I am not alone. Thank you
Women are less likely to be diagnosed. Because we aren't hyper as hell and ridiculously impulsive. But it exists for all genders. Thank fully she has all these episodes of helping us to understand our brains.
I can only speak to my own experience, but when I was diagnosed as an adult a couple years ago, I definitely went through waves of feeling validated, and feeling a big mix of imposter syndrome along with a whole cocktail of anger, regret, and challenging past mindsets. It’s a whole journey tbh, and a very personal one. Everyone’s journey is valid!
i get you.. i was somehow mad at the universe for making my life so hard&also feeling ashamed for feeling that way. overtime i realized that for me, the diagnosis helped me being (and feeling) more in control of my life, because it helped me understand myself better and creating a life that suits me better.. i whish you all the best for your journey&know that you are not alone☺️
Right? It’s just mind blowing that it’s a legitimate thing, because everyone around me keeps saying, “What does that matter? Get over it.” Now that I know the word for it, it’s easier to problem solve for (and tell everyone to shove off). 😊
I don’t know for sure if that’s the same with me, but what she mentioned about clothes being too tight, I spend an hour just looking for clothes that will feel good on me, so maybe that’s also the case with me
My largest barrier was getting over the mental effort of starting. Just the thought of exercise seemed like too much, especially with depression and anxiety draining my energy. What I learned to do was to set the bar lower, like what you said in the video, and commit to simply walking for 10-20 minutes a day. It’s low effort and I still work up a sweat due to my fast pace and weather. I highly recommend a brisk 10 minute walk after work or school or just being sedentary for a while. It’ll really wake you up!
I used to workout diligently because I wanted to do bodybuilding (actually did a contest) but it took 2 hours to mentally prepare myself... and 2 more to get through the workout 😅
Yeah it seems that 'just starting' can be one of the biggest hurdles to cross. Never managed to do it reliably, even when I went to the gym like 4 times a week. It was always a struggle :/
The hardest part for me is starting too. That and consistency. Once I start a task, whether it’s a run, the washing up or whatever else, I’m usually ok. The hard bit is starting because it looks so overwhelming regardless of how many times I’ve done the same thing before.
Walking is underrated. It can do wonders for you. If you find it mind-numbingly boring and music doesn't cut it for you, try listening to comedy while you walk.
I was doing well with my workouts going on a regular schedule of usually 3 times a week. Then it was winter and I get seasonal affect depression and then COVID happened and I had so much anxiety about going back into the gym. I've only been back a couple of times this year. I feel terrible about that, but it does take so much mental effort to get re-started. I like to listen to music while walking on the treadmill that helps. Hearing that getting started is also a struggle for others with ADHD now makes so much more sense to me. Just knowing this gives me motivation to get re-started and stick with it.
There are a bunch more barriers I didn't even get to in this video -- including physical limitations other than dyspraxia (difficulty with coordination). Would love to hear what yours are and how you deal with them
Dyspraxia in addition or discalculia can really not help. My PE teachers at school used to get really frustrated with me. So I used to always feel like I would fail before I try. One of the reasons I became more positive is I befriended a dude who is on a different part of the spectrum. He taught me what his instructors who also had ASD taught him. It was so inclusive and I think now I use his teaching when I'm at the gym now. He taught me how to focus, so being at the gym is the next step. As you said it's not a 0 to 60 thing. The more we try and learn with our barriers, the better we get bit by bit.
I can't speak for others, but I wanted you to know how much this channel means to me. I cry almost every time I watch one of your videos because nowhere else do I feel so thoroughly understood and valid. Your work is spectacular and invaluable. I was really worried you would stop working on this after your divorce (who could blame you if it had), and so I'm very glad you didn't. Thank you for everything, you've truly made an impact on my mental health and life overall.
I’ve been trying to put together a sustainable program for myself this summer, I’ve had some success, but every time the season changes or my schedule changes it throws me off. Thanks for the video and putting yourself out there! I thought it was great!
I was diagnosed with ADHD last year (I'm 34 now - and female), and I also found out that I have hypermobility and a *complete* lack of proprioception (for those who don't know - the sense of where your body is in space)....so exercise was always hard for me since I couldn't even tell what muscles I was supposed to be working, or I'd injure myself by letting my body move in a way it wasn't supposed to and my progress would reset to zero. I threw my pelvis out several years ago by trying to exercise without realizing my hips are stupidly mobile. I struggle to control where my limbs are in any given movement. My wrists and elbows are loose and prefer weird orientations (that eventually hurt me), and I constantly have to remember to not lock my knees. I will say that since learning this I've been able to improve my own proprioception with the help of my friend and workout partner who knows a lot about proprioception and exercise science, so I've made a lot of progress in the past year. Basically he'd watch me like a hawk to identify where issues were and then we'd work on fixing them one at a time. He would also give me external cues to what muscles were supposed to be working at any given time. Strength training is recommended both for hypermobility (but be safe about it) and for building proprioception. My friend also built a web app that we use to track our progress and it tells us what weights we should be using, so I don't have to constantly think about it or remember from day to day what I'm supposed to be lifting. Plus there's an easy spot to enter in all the information. Honestly I wouldn't be doing as well as I am without this friend ^^ he got me into working out in the first place and we've been doing this for several years now at this point, but the ADHD/hypermobility/proprioception aspect was a huge piece of the puzzle.
My exercise tends to come from "unconventional" activities, like hiking and rock climbing. They work so well for me because they don't really feel like working out, but rather a fun activity that also happens to be good exercise! It also helps a ton that rock climbers tend to also be the "weird" quirky types that welcome everyone. For example, my climbing friends have a group chat currently named "merry band of socially anxious and/or awkward misfits" 😃
I was going to mention climbing. I think it's suchhhh a good sport for ADHD brains for a number of reasons--and the community you mentioned is definitely one of them!
I’m terrified of heights, but years ago, my sis had her bday party at a rock climbing place and I ended up climbing because I got bored watching everyone else. Thinking back on it now, I really enjoyed it. I’ve also seen a group of girls skateboarding while out on walks a few times. They weren’t doing tricks and their boards were more suited toward travel so I may try that. It looked relaxing.
@@chaoticpenguin1498 I'm scared of heights, so I do bouldering instead of lead climbing. See if you have any bouldering gyms around you. The height is only 10-15 feet.
seriously the uncomfortable clothes is such a big barrier. for me personally, i just hate sweating so much and i feel like i sweat more than others or it just bothers me more. it seems all workout clothes are super tight fitting, and it just makes me more uncomfortable bc the sweat sticks to me even more. like i can’t stand sports bras especially they feel super suffocating. that’s why i just work out in my room with no clothes on. that makes it soooo much more bearable lmao. thanks for this video! i cried with you too.
I know this may not be for you but I have a very, very hard time feeling hot and sweaty. It seems counter intuitive but going to hot yoga was like exposure therapy for me. Being in a hot yoga room (or a sauna would work too) where I just had to accept that I was going to be very sweaty and that was okay was really mentally helpful. I still struggle with it but the exposure to it worked for me (but it may not for everyone of course)
Omg YES! Sweating has always been a big thing for me; and not only sweating but maybe even more so the shower after. When I shower, I always feel like I have to make sure I am completely clean, and that can be hard enough when I haven’t sweated, but if I just did a workout and I’m completely drenched, that makes it so much worse.
@@kwf92 i actually love saunas and steam rooms! i think it's maybe because i associate that kind of sweating as something that's good for you whereas other kinds of sweating just feel nasty. i guess i gotta to psych myself up like mentally train myself.
"I was born with a brain that tells me to move, I am hyperactive... And, I am bad at moving" You videos are so powerful, and speak so intimately to my personal experience. Thank you for continuing to make such amazing videos to change awareness
THIS! Thank you to you both for showing me that this is a common experience. Ugh, I was so bad at sports and uncoordinated as a kid. I think it was a developmental delay, because I'm really not that bad in adulthood. BUT I still have this perpetual, internalized belief that I'm pretty uncoordinated despite some evidence to the contrary. Thanks for the insight!
For me, I’ve found that if I commit to a 3/wk schedule of classes, I actually do pretty well…until the one day I don’t go. The struggle to start back even after missing 1 class is so hard. Does anyone else experience that?
I was working with the one exercise app that has daily exercises but with set breaks every so many days. I know it's designed so the muscles can get a rest, but I will struggle to start up again if I do take that break.
You're not alone! I feel the same way, but we gotta think that's not the end just a continuation haha I hate to feel that way I guess we gotta train that part 🙌🏼
Among other things I'm so grateful to you that you shoot your room messy. I literally spent my whole life, it seems, feeling guilty for my failure to sustain my room tidy, like I was the only one human being unable to do so. Thank you a lot for normalising ADHD messiness))
What's funny is people think if you are adhd thaf you should have a super tidy house due to the energy involved ppl don't get that most of our energy goes towards the effort of starting something. 🤔
minimalism really helped me ❤️ Less inventory is key, giving everything a home (I even label those homes to my hubby's chagrin) is the second key. The Minimal Mom and Dana K White"s books and Cassandra Aarssen, the Clutterbug who also has Adhd.
I completely forgot about being a kid and getting stressed that most of the kids would finish their work before me and I would feel so sad because I wouldn’t have the amount of play time they did. Then I couldn’t focus because I was stressing
That was me as well. Also, when I was in high school there would be those that would get their homework done in class before it was over and I didn't understand how. I have always been slower than others at doing things and I have hated that about me. I am starting to understand and accept that it is just me and I will love myself no matter what. :)
I never had play time as a kid, except for weekends. Usually Friday I'd have friends over and play outside, Saturday I'd spend with family, usually outside, drawing, or playing with Lego, and Sunday I'd be at my mom's house, often playing dress up, doing crafts, or whatever I could find to do with neighbours. I never really had time after school, except to maybe watch 1-2 episodes of something on TV (usually Hannah Montana and Suite Life), maybe play a few rounds of something on my Wii or DS with my stepbrothers, then go to bed. From ages 6-14, I had about 2-3 hours worth of homework just because I couldn't focus at school. I had amazing teachers who would help in their free time, which I'm forever grateful, and I wasn't the only one with learning challenges and being neurodivergent. But in high school and university, things get more competitive, one prof even had a leaderboard of who finished first. He wasn't that great, and I'm glad I haven't had anything else from him. I blocked out a lot of my childhood, but you're not alone, and if you can, I saw a learning disability specialist, and she helped me work through some stuff, which was so good!
You make people with ADHD feel normal. Thank you so much. I could never figure out what was wrong with me and why I couldn't keep the motivation and consistency. This video helped tremendously!
For two years I journaled every single day. Very basic stuff like my overall happiness that day and what activities I did. Towards the end of those two years I was in a Stat class and I decided my final project was to analyze my happiness and figure out where it came from. Not a single day that I worked out was below a 3/5 in terms of happiness. When comparing against partying, drugs, festivals and vacations, nothing could shake a stick at working out. It single handedly had the greatest measurable effect on my mood. I highly recommend it. HIGHLY
Whoa, this one hit too close to home. Growing up, I didn't know I had ADHD, and my self esteem was almost nonexistent. It's very difficult to watch your friends excel in whatever interest they have, while I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I like to do in the first place. Thanks for this video and opening yourself up to us
Me too I grew up in a time ADHD was not a known diagnosed disorder I always felt like a failure in most areas that lead to crippling low self esteem, anxiety disorder, depression, and other manifestations. I was made aware I might be ADHD in my 20’s but thought why bother getting diagnosed now I’m a grown up , went another decade to diagnosed in my 30’s. Now I’m in my 40’s properly medicated life is still challenging however I now have more tools in my box and a understanding of why certain things are challenging so I’m less harsh on my self when things are less than optimal.
Ya know, I probably would have too because I was in the same kind of situation. However I got lucky. I had parents who, even though they didn't know I had ADHD, raised me in a way that was pretty freakind ADHD friendly. My confidence was constantly being built up, they helped me to find things I was good at, and if I lost interest in something (like ballet, for instance) they allowed me to finish out the season and then not have to do it again. I got lucky, and I am so grateful for my parents. I know it's hard when it feels like you aren't good at anything, especially as a kid. I'll bet money that you had more people in your corner than you thought though, and they were cheering you on every step of the way.
How were you able to describe in a few videos my entire childhood without even personally knowing me? After 54 years of life, FINALLY someone understands what was/is going on inside of my head and heart! I plan to share your video with my eating disorder therapy team as I'm working hard to repair the damage done when I was young. I'm fighting hard; I will overcome!
"All of our ADHD symptoms kinda work together to..." Yes. This is one of the most frustrating parts of this whole situation. Sometimes it feels like the components of ADHD were designed to fit together and make people bad at the way our world works _specifically_, and I'm tired of finding new ways in which this is true for me.
I have ADHD inattentive type and it's so, so difficult to exercise. It's even harder to explain to others why it's basically impossible for me to work out the way others do. I can't bike or run on a treadmill or lift weights without getting so painfully BORED! Even having a book or TV like others do isn't enough because the activity itself is so boring. I try, but I just can't keep it up for long without the siren call of something actually interesting calling me away. Throw in a cardiac condition, and the reward from traditional exercise will never outweigh the frustration. I cannot tell you how much of a boon it is that I'm back in dance classes and also having VR. Being able to also develop a skill like in ballroom or playing a fun game like Beat Saber are ways for me to actually enjoy working out. They keep my mind active as well as my body and it makes a huge difference.
As a personal trainer who recently got diagnosed with combined type adhd, I can tell you having systems in place to reduce the barrier and building good habits from a place of consistency day over day really does help a lot. Thank you for getting the message out there for those who struggle and knowing that they aren't alone.
I can relate, I created systems and based them around organised sport (I'm a sprinter and dabble in other events), to give me the structure and consistency to base good habits around.
(One of the) biggest barrier for me in the exercising was to stay consistent in which I failed massively. I am planning to restart that again soon in a few week. But yes, after exercising, I felt quite content. But as I missed one day, it went like complete domino and shred my habit away
Same for me, I believe that she points out the mistake I made in the past, which is setting goals that are too ambicious. I'm also going to start exercising after a few years not going to the gym (home exercise is not for me, as I don't have accountability, and simply don't exercise if nobody is there to check). I was about to start, wile promising myself I was going to go to the gym 5 times a week, and after seing this video I realized I was probably going to feel frustrated and quit again. So, I'll try to set my expectations lower, and build up slowly.
Something that helps me stay consistent is to use rewards to form habit. It's the first thing I analyze if I'm not staying consistent. For example, running every morning is a difficult task, so I changed my route to stop by a store to get myself a small sugary drink at the end of the run. (Note: I normally drink water only) I also keep records of my running time in a book next to my bed because looking at my progress often encourages me to continue and it's just plain satisfying to look at. The last thing I do is to be forgiving on the days I don't want to run by just getting up and just walking. This way I'm still in the habit circle. These techniques were not formed over night. It took a while to figure out what worked with me, so don't give up AND continue to experiment!
So I found this channel to understand my kids who are diagnosed ADHD. Thank You for being so open about your struggles, it not only helps those with ADHD, it helps us caregivers understand. 🤗
Take it from a guy who was not given the space to be ADHD as a kid. if you put the extra effort/love into supporting your kids with ADHD you will not only save them an enormous amount of heartache, you will empower them to shock you by what they will accomplish. You will be so happy down the road for this investment.
This channel is what helped my mum to accept and understand how my brain works, I‘m happy for your kids that they have a parent doing this research too!
I never…. Thought ADHD was something I could possibly have… but I’ve binged a couple of your videos and I… have never felt more seen. I’ve forced myself to be a high achiever for several years after school but something changed in the past 2-3 years which I have no explanations for until now. Thank you for what you do.
@@Mizz.Person im trying hard to balance my hormones and nervous system to lead a more regular, balanced life... feels like a silent battle every day, week.
Powerlifting was on the best things that ever happened to me in terms of exercising. The number chasing nature of the training gamifies the process and also gives clear goals.
I used to do this as well - until the numbers weren't going up fast enough anymore when I hit a plateau, pushed too hard to lift something I couldn't and then injured myself.
This but included Olympic lifting as well, and bit of gymnastics. Wish I I had known I was capable of being coordinated, fast and accurate when I was a kid. Now nearing 40 and finally going that out. But the ADHD doubt creeps in a bunch and if I didn't have a support group to push me I'd likely give up thinking I was not doing well.
Agreed. Same with strongman. I haven't competed in either in years but for both sports I had the same standard of excellence: I didn't die. I can miss lifts or screw up in an event and shrug it off because I at least tried. It doesn't work for everyone but it worked for me!
I get so frustrated at the "fleeting" motivation. For a full second I consider that it would be great to just dance in front of a mirror, go for a walk, lift some dumbbells, but then it's gone and I feel "lazy" again instead. I definitely think depression as a super common co-morbid doesn't help with the starting of anything you want to do. Also the pressure to do it "enough" or "right" doesn't help, even if that pressure is in my head coming from me. The few times I've been able to upkeep with a new habit has been at absolute best 3 months. Then my brain goes "we're done with that now, for at least a year if not forever." Makes creating and keeping habits near impossible for me.
Yes, fleeting motivation! I’ve experienced times when I felt really excited to do/make something but the moment I touched the object (didn’t even need to pick it up) I didn’t want to do it anymore.
I bought James Clear's book "Atomic Habits," & it's a wonderfully helpful book. But for some reason what works for so many other people does not seem to work for me. It's like walking through a field of tall grass. The first time takes a lot of effort, but each time you walk it the grass gets smashed down flatter until there is an easy dirt path. But for me, I can't seem to stay on the same path long enough for it to flatten. I get distracted by a pretty flower or some wiggling grass & go off to see if it's a rabbit. Or I enter the field from a different position because it's closer. Or I trip, fall on my face, & now I don't feel good so I leave the field & procrastinate the trip. In short, my inability to STAY ON THE SAME PATH keeps the grass from flattening enough to make the walking easy. External guides help me--when I remember to use them. Anybody else have this problem? What have you found that works?
@3:46 YES! I used to always feel bad and be *painfully* aware that I was "slow" in everything I did--especially in test taking and simple subjects like coloring or PE (or cross country-& thankfully, no, my coach didn't let me quit & today I'm one of the few people I know that STILL run...) it took a LONG TIME for me to be able to decide it's okay to TELL people that "I'm not fast" but I will be "thorough"...
For me, the hardest part about trying to work out is the *steps* it's takes trying to get their. Like the fact I'd have to change my clothes to do one, then have to change them again afterwards because I'd be sweaty. There's also the fact I have a rather strict daily routine due to also having autism, and if that falls behind in anyway i start to get anxious and upset. I do try to get out for a walk 30-40 mins everyday tho as a compromise, as not only is it good exercise, it also helps with my mental health
Exactly me.. i also have both ADHD and Autism and everything you said is me.. i hate changing my clothes to a point where i’ll put on clothes when i go to sleep that can work for the day and for sleep. When i’m sweaty i’d have to immideately shower after however i normally shower right after dinner so it cuts out my regular evening routine of showering just after dinner.
GOD yes. I work early mornings, and I always think I should exercise before going home. Then I do once, and remember why I don't. I get off work and realize I don't have the right clothes. Try again tomorrow. I get off work, brought clothes, drive around aimlessly for somewhere to change. Gas station? Okay. Took too long, now I'm too hungry to work out. Buy random fast dinner, wrong choice, too full to work out now, try again tomorrow. I get off work, brought clothes, brought a healthy snack, plan to change in the car but -- I forgot my shoes. Brought the clothes, but not the shoes. Walk a half-hearted block around my apartment in wedge sandals. Try again -- next week? Uuuuggghhhhhhh. F*ck it.
Same. I hate changing multiple times, I don't want to wash my hair if I just washed it, or carry a bunch of stuff to work, but also too stressful to go home just to head out again... What works for me is to make a weekly schedule ahead (it's hard sticking to it but without it it's chaos) I put on my gym outfit first thing in the morning and then work out after breakfast or anytime later if I'm working from home. On non gym days I take a walk some time in the day in my regular clothes. Walks everyday is better than occasional gym sessions in every way! On weekends I choose a fun activity that just happens to be exercise, like hiking, swimming, working in the garden, dancing or riding a mechanical bull...
Idk if this will be helpful for anyone but one thing I do is sleep in comfy clothes that are also good to exercise in (shorts, t-shirt, leggings) so when I wake up I can just exercise right away then just change once before I start my day.
For me what works is pre workout, even if it doesnt do anything i get the feeling i have to go cause it is going to start working. Just don't change ur clothes or atleast try to think u won't, else that will become the focus
The “bad at sports” part really hit home for me! I have had issues with that my entire life because of childhood experiences. I have found that I enjoy powerlifting and general strength training; I found that I’m good at it too :)
Same here. I also have hip dysplasia and got teased for my limp and how I couldn't run fast in school, so that experience + genuine physical limitations + general clumsiness has cemented in me since childhood that I'm just not an active person, and never will be :(
Me too!!! I have dropped and gotten frustrated with so many sports until I finally picked up some weights and every time I didn't want to participate in a game in PE, I just went to my weights and lifting stations and it was so much more fun.
my motivation for working out is the possibility of a crippling anxiety attack in the week as working out has rlly helped get rid of all that nervous energy
Wow I feel so seen. The barriers, the frustration, the clean house with a random pile of things in a corner or on a dresser. These videos mean so much to me. I’ve been feeling like I’ve failed at keeping up with working out but the adhd brain strikes again in making everyday steps feel like a mountain to climb. Thank you for being so candid you give so much hope
Same!! I always find it so hard to go through with MANY THINGS, especially when I be so ambitious and yet I can lose it so quickly and I don't want to do it anymore.
Same. The only thing that got me to exercise was getting a dog. I have to walk them a lot and they will let you know. And if you don’t do it there are actual consequences like accidents on the carpet. So much motivation. Plus you just want to keep them healthy since they rely on you.
Thank you! I was just diagnosed at age 57. Hearing some of your experiences, especially from childhood, help me understand my childhood and look at things in a new light! I really appreciate your emotional openness and candor. It brought tears to my eyes for both of use (and everyone else). Thank you again!!!
You know, I have been diagnosed with ADHD for about 18 years now. I’m almost 29 and the very VERY specific things she mentions are shockingly relevant to my own experience. I really appreciate this channel so much
I feel SO SEEN, this brought me to tears because everything you say I’m just like “yes exactly!!!!”. Thank you so much for making this content, I was just diagnosed at 24 and I feel so validated!!!
@@bastadtroll8922 what you see as character weakness is a character strength to others. Your viewpoint isn’t the only one! The fact you need to go and self proclaiming troll shows that you’re the insecure one, you don’t have enough confidence behind your opinions you attempt to bring others down(hint it doesn’t work). This person is strong enough to present a vulnerable side of herself to the internet, how is that a character flaw? That’s bravery
the way this video made me bawl! i didnt realize i had so much internalized shame surrounding being clumsy growing up, and struggling with team sports. so many things are just falling into place for me now. getting the answers and finding new solutions really is so exciting!
I was recently diagnosed adhd and anxiety, I always thought I was just lazy or maybe I wasn't trying hard enough but I would literally be paralyzed from starting exercise to the point of an anxiety attack. I had "more important things to do" so exercise could wait or it was just another thing on my ridiculously big "to do" list and it just wouldn't get done. Then I would have people say "you just need to prioritize better" and "self care is more important than the dishes" but exercise can be exhausting and I would only have so much energy to work with in the first place so I would do the dishes and pray I had enough energy later so I wouldn't feel like such a failure.
Here's a simple exercise routine to remember. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays. Right before taking a shower, do a specific short full body routine that you have written down and stored that note in a specific location. By a short routine, I mean maybe 10-30 minutes. And do it at home. My routine was disrupted by upgrading it to a GYM routine and a couple of years later was too busy to go to the gym. Most health benefit people get from exercise is from the first weekly hour.
My ADHD powers my OCD which keeps me getting ready to start the formulation of a plan to initiate the beginning of a formula for . . . I could go on for days this way.😱
@George B. Wolffsohn The frequency of exercise is already optimized according to exercise papers, doing more doesn't help beginners. Then do a single set for each movement as long as you can that maximizes results compared to effort for beginners. Purchase pair of dumbbells and look for ANY bodybuilder program, and just go for a single set of each movement to save time. Approximately 99% of advice for lifting weights comes from people whose goal is to look like ROCK and doesn't apply to people whose only goal is to get healthy musculature and not dedicate life to become a bodybuilder. After doing 6 months on one program to get the basics and basic musculature there's even a point in optimizing the program. The most important variable to optimize are how many days does it take to start an exercise routine? And can you make it a habit that doesn't really take effort to initiate? After 6 months of lifting you have gotten enough hold of the matter that you can go OCD to optimize what movements to make.
Last year I got into an amazing exercise habit. I was working out five days a week and I had a regimen I loved following. After six months of it being a rock solid habit, it just... vanished. I am so frustrated. I have been spending the last six months now being stuck at what feels like square one all over again, making it a habit again. Everyone around me talks about "oh 21 dAys To BeCoMiNg a HaBiT" well look at me sticking to it for half a year and I STILL somehow managed to fail 😒
Wow! 6 months is a lot, congratulations, I can never spend more than a couple of months doing anything, and I thought that is why I couldn't create a habbit. It seems any habbit is fragile with us ADHD brains. It's hard to find the motivation and also keep it.
omg literally same! I hate the "21 days to build a habit" thing. I meditated for 212 days in a row, but missed ONE day and then struggled for weeks to meditate again. 🙄I feel like some things will NEVER be a natural habit for me no matter how long I stick with it
Omg… I never even considered that my ADHD could be something that’s been holding me back but when I think about it that’s exactly what it is! Especially in regards to emotional dysregulation and delayed gratification! It’s… it’s so incredibly relieving to know that I’m not just a failure, but that there’s actually been a reason why I couldn’t get anywhere. And I thought I *had* to “set the bar at 60” because I respond better to routine… I didn’t think it was actually setting me back, but I can see now how it did. Thank you so very much for making this video. I want you know how much of an impact this had on me. I’ll take what you said and try to move forward.
I was also diagnosed ADHD but I think im no different from anyone else and If I fail its not because of my ADHD but my own incompetence I dunno I just believe that having ADHD isnt an excuse at least to me
@@pablogarcia6188 would you say that to someone who had recently broken their leg and was having a hard time keeping up with others when they went for a walk? would you tell them that their broken leg was "just an excuse"? Mental health is so easily dismissed, probably because it can't be seen, but it's just as important as physical health. I'm not planning on using my ADHD as a means to get out of doing things, but being able to identify when it's effecting me can help in knowing how i can handle situations better so that i can start moving forward.
@@pablogarcia6188 You know, a funny thing about ADHD is that sometimes when we are struggling with something we project it and try to put others down. Learn the difference between "excuse" and "DISABILITY". You have it too mate. There are people inherently better than you, at everything, despite doing less work than you, and you will never catch up. No matter how hard you try. No matter what you do. Because your brain isn't connected the same as others. You will be turned away for jobs. You will be turned down for dates. Because you didn't notice something or forgot something or were late. You will struggle with the game of life. How'd that make you feel? If you say fine, you don't have adhd and you're a troll (based on your comment that's my guess...because if you had adhd that isn't how you would normally feel). If you say bad, then you do, and now you know how rude, insensitive comments feel to already vulnerable people. 🤬
Oh man. You made me understand so much. As soon as you said “if the weights hurt your hands”, I felt it. A hair elastic that pulls on a piece of hair is enough to derail me. ❤️❤️❤️
Clothes too tight or even just fitting a tiny bit snug is super irritating to me. I always wonder why other techs and nurses wear their scrubs so tight! LOL!!
My motivation to go to the gym has been to improve my sensitivity to noisy, distracting enviroments. I still find being there hell on earth at times but I reward myself on each machine as I stay focused. The useful thing about my gym is that it has a lot of monitor systems the Copilot mentioned but without the personalised feedback which for me is ok but I definitely see how that could be useful if people find gyms difficult to be in. I wish exercise discussions were focused more on self regulation rather than aesthetics. I have stopped talking to non close friends about my workouts because they focus on weight loss which isn't my motivation. My motivation is to manage my impulsivity through enjoying getting to know my body and displining my focus.
Thank you so much. I'm crying too. I've been diagnosed last year at 27, and so much makes sense... But I'm still struggling to navigate life and be a proper "adult". I used to think I was autistic or something... Something was off and my ADHD contributed to my depression and feelings of suicide as a hopeless basket case. But as I watch your videos, I'm learning to work with my brain, not against it. Thank you! thank you! Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this! It sounds like you've had to be incredibly resilient going through all that without understanding why. I'm glad you're still here and I'm happy my videos have been a helpful part of your journey :)
Oh oh...I missed the class on "proper adulting!" Didn't know there was one, or, maybe I skipped it. I was diagnosed at 40...I am now 53 and, like @David York, I am never sure if I am properly adulting. I love that term and I am going to steal it! Perhaps you have discovered this La Victoire, knowing that you have ADHD, what it is and how it manifests in you is uplifting and freeing when you start learning about the ways you can adapt and configure your life to work best for you to be able to navigate, as you say! If you remember that, you will be just fine. God speed...
Wow! Thank you for being so honest with your struggle. I didn't realize how many barriers I had with having ADHD, from every shade of excuse, being too tired, sensory barriers, too much clutter, boredom, procrastination, feeling like a failure after I didn't live up to the high expectations I put on myself.
I really appreciate you talking about this!! As a plus size person I have lots of feelings and trauma around exercise but I hadn’t factored my ADHD Into that equation. It really has taken a toll on my trust in my body and I’m still working on fitting consistent movement into my life!
Yes!!! Same. Also I have spent most of my life ignoring or not noticing my body signals. I just want to begin the process of having a positive relationship with my body.
I didn't know my skin's sensitivity on the clothes I wear was a sign of ADHD. Always knew about my aversion to bright lights, strong odors, strong flavors and loud noise but my brain skipped tactile sensitivity. Thank you very much for this.
It actually, gets to the bottom of my heart, to see someone with my condition to open up to things that are so hard for neurotypical people to understand, thanks for being so sincere, love your content. proud to be ADHD because of people like you who help us thrive in this sea of energy.
I realized I’ve been living with ADHD and have done nothing. My family never took me to a doctor at all…I haven’t seen a doctor since I was a child. Your videos help me know I’m not alone
Similar experience, my parent never really understood it or how much it was holding me back, Now you know so take control, make the changes you need to, seek help if you have to and don't look back ! 🤗
This is exactly me and i took up psychology and im in my 30s and i feel so misunderstood. Feeling likebyoire really smart but not doing your full potential. Wakingbup each day or going to bed is hard enough. Its hard to be this person they expect me to be and dont believe my ADHD as an adult 🤦🏽♀️
Something that has really helped me is to make exercising exciting - outfits really does it for me. Choosing an outfit to wear, drinking my supplements and walking over gets me motivated, it's almost pavlovean. Then once i am at the gym, i'm motivated Also finding something you like and not beating yourself up if you miss a day. Its basically the only big habbit i've been consistent with
Oh some extra tips: 1. Try different times. i'm a night workout person, my body is stronger at night 7pm or later and i get sick in the morning. 2. Get hand protectors for weight training - like the comfy yoga mat, this can help you feel better and therefore more motivated. I have lots of trinkets like bands and hand protectors to help me. 3 - eat and hydrate! I eat oatmeal as a snack 30 mins before to boost my energy. 4 - most important, try you best and dont stress of you get off track. Like in meditation, the goal is to guide yourself back, not to cut off all your thoughts. Focus on strength and how you feel. Do you feel strong/fast/relaxed/happy? Yes? Amazing! You did your job. Good luck brains ❤
nice tip, I think one of my barriers is my sporting outfits, I don't like them, that's one barrier I can take care of. I'll go shopping! (trying to keep my impulsive side in control)
i love exercising, always loved, even before i found out i had adhd i used to exercise a lot because it always helped me cope with the anxiety and it was the single moment that I could easily focus on the objective, due to the pandemic and being locked in my appartment for almost 2 years ive found out that my biggest problem is that I have to be at the gym to workout, if I am home I will defintelly look for something else to do... so the envirioment is very important and impacts directly my motivation!
I was scrolling through the comments hoping to read something like this. I always loved sports (even team sports) and fitness. It's the only thing i have the feeling that i really excelled in. That's why for me it's easy to workout 5 or 6 days a week. I felt exactly the same way about the lockdown. So i don't this video applies to everyone with ADHD. I myself couldn't relate to anything said.
Such a good video! The way you describe your problems with ADHD as a teen mirrors mine so fully. My parents didn't "believe" in ADD/ADHD, so they pulled me out of school the moment my teachers started expressing concerns for my attentiveness. I was prone to sporadic and prolonged bouts of day dreaming the moment something didn't make sense to me or I felt bored. For years, I thought I was uniquely broken. Didn't face up to my ADHD diagnosis until I was well into adulthood. So glad you're sharing.
one of my biggest barriers is the fact that i can’t exercise on the days when i take my ADHD meds because it raises my heart rate too much. so, often times i have to choose between taking my medicine/not exercising or exercising/not taking my medicine which results in lower levels of focus as the day goes on. another option is to wake up early (6:00am) so i can workout before i take my medicine. i take an extended release pill so i have to take it in the morning and it doesn’t wear off until night time. it really is a struggle, because i’m in college and i need to take my medicine in order to focus during class and during study times, but i also know i need to exercise because it helps with cognitive function, mental wellness, physical wellness, etc. then add this barrier to other barriers such as motivation, time, discipline, focus, planning, etc. i’m just trying to do my best, but it’s super frustrating.
Same. So much of this resonates with me. I was working out at home, lifting weights, jogging. I started taking medication and stopped working out, and now I can't get into a habit with either one.
That sucks and is a difficult challenge. I tried a long acting/ extended release med and it raised my heart rate WAY too much and wasn’t effective as my previous short acting med so switched back. Another option would be to just stick to low intensity workouts that won’t raise your HR too much ie. walking! It’s free and a great stress reliever! Good luck :)
I had the exact same issue in college!! Idk what classes your university offers, but I'd definitely recommend looking into yoga or another core strength workout that doesn't require high energy. Personally, I did Barre my senior year and LOVED it (yoga was too boring lmao)
I try and only watch your videos at certain times. I've never been diagnosed, but Every time I watch one of your videos, some deep part of me wells up with the compound layers of validation, especially as they counter the decades of negativity and " why can't you just straighten up and be normal like everyone else" that I have constantly had to swim through. You are an amazing resource, and you are helping people actualize and bloom. Thank you.
I think something, at least for me, I like to do rock climbing / bouldering. It's never the same thing twice (unless you fail, which is part of the fun), plus you don't need to remember the 5 thousand exercises for each muscle. A plus is there is no "form", just an easier way to do it. It's a full body workout. The only issue for me is to find someone to do it with me and go consistently.
@@nanasabiabouldering and rock climbing is awesome and not dangerous, find a local climbing wall and just go, ask a staff member to show you the ropes after you’ve been a few times mention it to a friend/ colleague etc. I used to go with my husbands best friend when we lived close together and it was exercise that he enjoyed as somebody with ADHD and we miss climbing together. Will definitely continue when we live near each other again.
Focusing on isolating the particular muscles really helps me too! My trainer says I have good mind-body awareness but I think that it's actually more like if I focus on the proper form of each movement, I'm less likely to focus on how difficult it is, how tired I am, or how much I would rather be doing something easier.
I always appreciate the videos where you allow yourself to be vulnerable on camera and not editing it out. It honestly makes me connect so much more and I actually pay more attention with a lot of your videos because of it. I'm gonna try to look into this program next month once I have some money put to the side
When I reached highschool, my ADHD appeared and I suddenly had a hard time with my school thus I gave up on taking care of myself to keep my grades up. This has lead me to become overweight, and I've just felt awful about it. I would start a workout plan, manage to go through a few days, then something would happen and I'd end up not doing it, which led me back to the start again. Thankk you so much for this video, I really am hoping to try to take control over some of my life! I just found your channel today, and I can't wait to watch more of your videos (while I'm procrastinating from doing something important lol).
Its really helpful to have affirmed that dispraxia is a trait that is common for ADHDers. My current goal in exercise is simply that I make it to my class (with adequate nutrition to support working out) and don't injure myself so that I'm able to come back next time. Also, the struggle is real to get enough calories and the right nutrition on a super tight budget. I've absolutely had days where I skipped exercise because I wasn't going to be able to afford a hearty meal. It's a major emotional bummer when it happens.
My room was like that until I take Provigil. Now most days I make my bed. Strange how that feels satisfying to me now. So I appreciate Provigil and Dr Ginsberg!
OMG thank you! I feel so much better because I just started working out again after a 5 year hiatus and I’m like I’m going to work out 5x a week and eat healthy and i only worked out 3X this week and felt like a failure and I completely went into the “I can’t do this” mentality. I think setting realistic goals for ourselves, so we don’t feel like a failure is KEY. We want those FAST dopamine fixes too and with working out it takes time and patience to see results. I can eat a fried chicken sandwich and feel instantly recharged … oh the struggles are real 😂
The thing that made me successful (and what I'm trying to get back to) was noticing that my body felt *better* after exercise, and so did my mental state. Once I got into a good routine, I could usually get past the barrier by telling myself I always feel better after exercising, which I can't say when I skip it.
My approach: Find some form of movement that you love, that engages your brain to the point of hyperfocus so that you crave the next time you can do it. For me over the years that was ballet, horseback riding, playing golf. I hate running, the gym, yoga etc. and after giving it a try I don´t force myself to do it. Why should I set myself up for failure? I need movement with a goal that doesn´t focus on the fitness aspect which is so boooring to me. Find a sport that your brain loves. Why should I struggle with workouts I hate?
Mine is climbing at the moment; I highly recommend it since it's inherently novel every time you do it and you get to solve a new "puzzle"/challenge on the wall every time. Maybe this one will actually last and not just be a phase...
@@theAnnabelle2012 I would second this! I was doing this before the pandemic, and would like to get back to it. It was just the right mix of physical and mental stimulation...plus just the right bit of adrenaline being so high up!
@@theAnnabelle2012 I totally get it. Watched climbing in the Olympics and was fascinated. I have learned to "embrace the phase". I´m in my mid-fifties now and my sports have changed over the years. What is interesting though is that through years of hyperfocused training I can reactivate any sport since the skills don´t get lost completely over time. It´s fun to reconnect with old loves.
For me, a former personal trainer with a bachelor degree, I just don’t enjoy exercisers much or find it as rewarding as sitting around playing games or watching media.
Oh man, I wish I had you as a friend and you lived near me. It may sound weird or maybe creepy but every time I watch your videos you sound so much like me. I finally found someone who has similar struggles as me. I often feel so alien and alone but watching your vlogs helps me feel like I'm not really alone. Thanks so much for being you. You are such an inspiration to this Canadian brain 😉
This really resonates with me on an ADHD level and also a disability level. What you said about having enough resources to break down the barriers... That in itself is SO hard and creates that shame cycle and it feels overwhelming to know what barrier to break down first, when you have the bare minimum of resources.
You are a legend these videos have helped me so much I have ADHD with brain damage and trauma so I find the symptoms harder at times. Thank you so much.
I loved sports growing up, but I was cursed with being the "most improved" on every team I was on. The swim team example spoke to me, cause I was pretty good at the breast stroke, but I couldn't compete in most others cause I never figured out how to flip and turn (and using the wrong turn method is a DQ). Uncoordinated, and particularly short for my age until I hit puberty when I finally caught up in the height department, but was already so discouraged that I had quit most extracurriculars. It definitely comes through when I consider things like amateur leagues or signing up for a race. I like to keep things informal so I can brush off any failures as "whatever, I wasn't really competing." Even though I'm naturally very competitive, and love competing.
Can I just say how nice it is to see a person doing exercise and not be the perfect and flawlessly graceful trainers I see in the videos I use? It makes me feel a lot better!
Yes!!! I did ballet for most of my life, and that was a very structured way to get exercise and it was exiting and fun as a kid. Until we had to actually practice, and get serious about it. I could not do that. I was the funny one, I was only okay at dancing, and I didn't want to try because I thought I could never be as good as the other people in my dance classes. Getting my own motivation to exercise has always been quite a struggle. Even if I did not have chronic pain, getting myself up, and feeding myself well enough to have the energy I need is very difficult for me. Thank you for showing how adhders can have the brain desire to exercise, but the brain ability to get there is harder
I danced ballet for years as a kid. I loved it as an artform but got sick of the strict norms and competitiveness (I was 8!) The boys ballet class got to practice acrobatics and tap dancing. I couldn't understand why the girls didn't get to try that as well.
I appreciate that you mentioned that we might not even realize that something is acting as a barrier. I finally realized this was a thing when I took meds the first time. Knowing that my brain is a little sneaker who like to change the topic rather than think about what's getting in the way of doing something was a revelation.
A big thing that helped me was making a habit of doing some "bare minimum" that I set for myself. For example I've one from 285lbs down to 240s now. I have further to go and most of that is the result of diet but I still formed the habit of picking my 3 days to workout that week during the first session. I still have trouble with motivation but I feel like my discipline is helping keep the habit. It feels weird now if I "skip" a day
This "bare minimum" idea is powerful. I did something similar. Over the last year I picked a bare minimum of 10 minutes alternating between walking and running every 2 minutes. If I felt like going a couple minutes longer, I would. If I wanted to work out after, I would. But none of that extra was required. The key is giving yourself permission to do only that minimum. Even if you don't feel like doing any of it, just push through that little bit and you will still have that sense of accomplishment that comes from keeping a daily routine.
When I was going to the gym, I would have a bare minimum goal, an actual goal, and a stretch goal every day that I went. I need to get back to that, even though my exercise is walking and running with the dog and yoga in my living room instead of going to the gym.
I like this concept. Thanks for sharing captain. I'll add to this though by saying that a secondary mantra could be added to this. "Something is better than nothing"
I personally find Cycling, especially Mountain Biking, to be one of the best solutions to exercise with ADHD, beyond that, I find it to be incredibly therapeutic. It boosts my daily focus and helps me sleep well. The weeks I don’t ride, everything starts to fall apart.
Omg, I'm so glad I saw this comment! My therapist told me that lots of people with ADHD likes cycling for some reason, myself included :) for me it's just constantly new things, new scenes, challenging hills, technical sections etc.
I find anything that requires less decision making and more automatic/subconscious movements are good. I used to play a lot of soccer and required lots of practice to remember the sequence of movement so that I could do it subconsciously. -move one muscle at a time and practice it again again. -cycling movement is basically the same movement repeated.
@@DavidDcruz The other plus I will give cycling is that even if I get bored while doing it, 10 miles from home is still 10 miles from home and I don't have a choice but to finish at that point LOL.
I find this hilarious because I just bought myself a stationary bike as I just enjoy it a lot in a gym but work really long hours. There's something about doing one motion consistently that is actually cathartic.
Mountain biking has been great for me, too, but I haven't been able to do it lately because of a radial nerve issue that biking on trails flares. I want to set up my smart trainer and my bike because I enjoy using sufferfest as a workout to see what stats I can improve (sprinting, climbing, ect.), but it's cleaning up a corner of my room to set it up that I'm struggling with.
My daughter is diagnosed with adhd. This channel helps me to understand her better. She can’t watch it herself because english isn’t our language but I find it very very helpful.
I have ADHD as well. Interestingly enough, I've actually had a completely different relationship with sports and exercise throughout my life. I would say, sports have always been where I excelled at, whether it were team or individual. In fact, I often used sports as an escape from the struggles I would face in school and in my social life in general due to ADHD and depression. Being different didn't matter as much anymore when you were considered one of the best athletes at your school. Today, I still use sports and exercise as one of my primary coping mechanisms. If anyone was wondering I played soccer and football competitively and would play tennis, workout, and run for leisure.
The honesty and clarity with which Jess speaks is so inspiring and helps so much to understand so many aspects of the condition. Keep up the awesome work
Jessica, please don't ever stop making these videos. They are really touching, I legit cried watching this. I know exactly how you feel...I'm great at a lot of stuff except for anything that requires coordination. It's embarrassing but I'm slowly but surely building up my confidence. I was just diagnosed last year at the age of 28 and my son has been diagnosed at age 7. I'm so glad we can treat his sooner and we have already seen a huge improvement in our whole family since myself and my son both started treatment. Your videos helped us decide to finally treat our son's ADHD and made me feel better about myself seeing other women who are a lot like me! :)
This video is one of the ones that hit me the hardest. I have faced so many of the same issues growing up throughout my life and spent my childhood/teenage years "accepting" that I was not an active kid, spending all my attention on classwork so that I could graduate. I've been heavy my whole life and dealt with body image issues for nearly just as long. In adulthood, I finally reached a place where I am comfortable with my own appearance but due to various stresses including (especially) this pandemic, I've reached a point where I'm uncomfortable in my body and I feel too young to be feeling this way. Working out or coming up with an exercise plan is always such a struggle for me and I always end up planning more than doing, setting my expectations too high and failing every time. Thank you so much for making this video and sharing your experiences, it means so much to people like me and I feel encouraged and motivated to try again so I can get back to feeling comfortable moving in my own body. ♥
Hi! Wow, I have been watching your videos for a while. I was never diagnosed with ADHD as a child, because I never showed the "hyperactivity" symptoms that many expect from us, but yeah, I do definitely have ADHD. The main thing that resonates with me SO MUCH in this video that actually brought me to tears was the part of feeling like a failure if you do not get something right the first time. I think that, along with the impulsivity of always wanting to try something new, like WOW, that is not a good combination. I recently (finally) joined a gym, and I've gone once and it was nice (apart from me trying EVERY SINGLE MACHINE and having a sore body for 3 days afterwards) I am struggling with that barrier of "what if I am busy exercising/looking after myself/putting me first and someone is looking for me while I don't necessarily check my phone?", and then my mind goes on this spiral that just leaves me so guilty for wanting to go work out. I don't know if anyone else experiences this...
I just want to thank you for everything you do. Showing your vulnerabilities to the world helps us relate. At times it's easy to dismiss other's success when you view them as perfectly put together, so of course you'll never be able to succeed. Hearing your struggles gives hope that we can do it too. You are part of the reason why I reached out to my doctor to start the conversation on mental health and adhd, and I now have a focused path of improvement :) Also who's cuttin' onions in here?
I related so hard to everything you said. I've found a bit of shelter with running, and I just recently finished my first marathon! I was so incredibly proud of that, not because I ran 26 miles, but because for 4 months I got myself to regularly get my training in. Because I was able to advocate for myself with family and friends, because I asked for help, and I stuck with something that I cared about. The validation that finishing gave me, and mental stability that my workouts gave me was incredible. Thank you so much for making this videos
I had a similar positive experience training for a half marathon. Incredible confidence building, even though I was injured a month before the run and I walk the last 8 miles. Still, so proud of myself. Good for you Africa Cordova! You are a badass :)
I've seen your videos here and there, and finally realized I hadn't clicked the 'subscribe' button yet. Being 38, ADD and ADHD weren't really things in the 80's, when my mom took me to see some people to find out what was 'wrong' with me. Their prognosis? 'You're kid is just...really, really hyper, sorry about that.' I've never been formally diagnosed, but after watching a lot of your videos, I'm going to set up an appointment and see what options I have to manage it. I mean, I'm 38 and my life isn't in shambles, so I can clearly manage my brain but...man, it hasn't been an easy time. Thanks for making these videos and helping me see that seeking medical attention for something I've always been told is 'just in my head' isn't a bad thing to do.
I’ve been dealing with this recently, I used to go to the gym 5 days a week and got in great shape and the Covid hit. Now I can barely get my head screwed on enough to just put on exercise clothes. Thank you for this video!
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Idk if this is an ADHD thing or not, but I’ve always had a problem with “making excuses”. I feel like everything needs to be perfect for me to do something I don’t want to do, like exercise, and if one thing goes wrong then I feel like I can’t do it.
procrastination is definitely common in ADHD...and we often find creative ways to do it. Perfectionism can be one. And sometimes there are other conditions (OCD, OCPD) involved. Have you talked to your doctor about it?
I understand this feeling well. I have autism, a high chance of ADHD, as well as type-O OCD. Combined they can make it hard to get things done sometimes as, like you said, everything needs to be perfect for it to go well. For example if I was planning to do a workout, but my mum ended up being late leaving for work, I then can't do it as my initial plan didn't factor that in, and I can't do it after she leaves as then my whole day routine will be off.
Sorry for the long comment, just wanted to let you know you weren't alone in feeling that way ❤️
Perfectionism is the fear of failure. The idea that not only CAN you do things poorly, but that you SHOULD do things poorly has been a huge challenge for me to internalize as well.
^I feel exactly this
@@Majoraspersona That's going on my wall. Thanks! ✌️🍍
“My body is for me, your body is for you”. Ok I’m a full grown man with ADHD and that made me bawl like a baby. Thank you for making life livable for us. This channel helps me through a lot. Thanks @How to ADHD
edit: ok so I definitely wasn't expecting this many people to like this comment. You brains are awesome!
That hit me hard too. I guess I needed to hear it, holy.
+
So simple, so obviously true, yet most of us don't believe it without hearing it.
Yes. Thank you for being a guy and expressing your feelings and vulnerability. Your feelings are important and valid. You're doing great. 💝
Good sir I was crying with you too. @How to ADHD you truly are inspiring, and you give the tools to help others succeed with you.
As a health coach, I really appreciate your openness here. The fitness industry has a terrible tendency to shout "no excuses!" or "Just Do It" but I try to tell my clients that I love hearing excuses. How can we overcome challenges if we refuse to talk about them?
Thanks for your openness. This video made me a better coach
The best thing that work for me is a short 40 min training at the gym, every week day. I've been told by people that it's "useless and not enough" even tho... it works, I get stronger, healthier, tinner. The main reason it works for me is because I don't have to think "do I go to the gym today ?", the answer is always yes, I do not need to find time, the time is always taken by the gym and the fact it's a short workout, it's easier for motivation, cause I'm not heading to a 2h workout and if I don't feel it, well I can still go and give up after 20 min and go home, but the fact that I'm there, I'll most likely do it. If I went 2hours every day would it be better ? No, cause I'd give up, after a week or 2. I do not have to fight motivation, I do not have to remember when it's time to go. it's the system that works for me.
@@randomrandom450 you're the first person i've seen specifically mention time limits. I've found that the max amount of time I can spend fully invested and interested in an activity is about 45 mins and after that my brain wants something else to focus on. Its so much better for me when I work with this and don't try and make myself live according to someone else's capability
@@pixiebomb28 oh yeah, the 40 min is a wrought estimate. I actually focus on doing X amount of exercises (right now it's 4 exercise on upper body day, then 15 min cardio and 2 leg exercise on leg day), it's not really about time and hey, my comment in 6 month old, would you look at that: I didn't give up ;)
“It takes us longer to do the same amount.” - I just connected why I’ve worked longer than anyone else at work, hours longer. Thank you.
same
saaaaaaame!
sooo meeee
YESSSSSS.... this is the main reason I realized I have ADHD. It's been a lifelong struggle taking 10 times longer than anyone else to do a single task. I never understood why. But it's because I get lost in thought so very often--even if I'm not so hyperactive. I only made this discovery when my son was diagnosed with it as a kid.
Exactly why I regret taking myself off my meds, I felt better without them immediately, but 11 years of procrastination and slow productivity has in the long run left me feeling worse than when I was medicated
I remember my mother coming into my bedroom, the room still a disaster after I had been “cleaning” for an hour, and saying “did you get lost?” And most of the time, yeah, I genuinely meant to be cleaning my room, but look at this old story I started writing, I really wanna get back into this, plus I also found my favorite gel pens that I lost last year and-oh. Yeah, I got lost.
This is exactly what happens to me whenever I get round to doing a room clear out - down to the stories and gel pens :')
Happened to me too! Lol
Finding old things I had forgotten about
This was me. When I was told to clean my room my mom would find me hours later sitting in a pile of Legos. Whoops.
This is basically what I let "cleaning my room" become after a while. It works ok for me because I usually just take a day to go at it, and it's nice to revisit old memories and get back in touch with where I used to be. Plus, I usually get bored of whatever fond thing I'm revisiting soon enough, and then it's back to cleaning until I unearth some other lovely memories
why is this actually me yesterday? i was supposed to sort out the papers and things in my cabinet or how is the thing called and it took me almost 4 hours... my stories i wrote back then, pictures i drew, oh and this photo i found... so many things... and it took way too long... and btw that wasnt even the goal at the beginning because i just wanted to vacuum my room because i found a spider near my bed... so yeah...
Being so mentally exhausted at the end of the day that I have no energy left for anything else is one of my biggest barriers.
Has she done a video about that? I struggle so badly with my childrens bedtime routine as I'm so knackered.
yes this is my problem too
I do my workouts before work. Sorta forces me to push play because if I don't do the thing, then I feel a certain way and it just throws off my whole groove.
Yes! Same here. After work, then bathtub with the kids, then wrangling them to bed i usually fall asleep within a couple of minutes of leaving their room.
Workout can turn your bad nervous fatigue into a nicer physical fatigue.
And yet another barrier: getting distracted or discouraged DURING workouts. It's not also getting to do them, sometimes it's completing them!
Or bored!!
@@dontfeedthetrolls9798 yes!! i thought i was alone
Yeees!
This this this! I might do a single push up and then immediately the toddler in my brain gets bored and wants to stop. I don’t even get to feel the burn, maybe getting out of breath and nauseous, but swiftly very bored and annoyed
especially during cardio. I literally cannot run for an hour cause it's so painfully boring (even with music or a show on) :((
I’m sorry this is extremely off topic. I love that your videos don’t “penalize” me for zoning out visually. I keep audible attention but my eyes unfocus and a lot of videos I need to rewind because I “missed” something by not seeing it. Your videos don’t make me feel bad for that.
How cool would it be if she made a podcast!
@@user-uh5qr1mb1o YES!
Yes! This! I was trying to listen to some other UA-cam video the other day and got SO frustrated because I kept getting lost. Was blaming myself, mentally calling myself names, etc. Then realized that important parts of the narrative were being put on the screen with like...no audio change or anything to alert me to even look. Glad it's not just me!
@@user-uh5qr1mb1o YES! I have an hour long commute to work and an ADHD podcast would be so much better than playing old episodes of new girl on my phone with the screen switched to the GPS 😂
Same here
"Those with ADHD often have to work longer hours to accomplish the same things. We don't have as much time afterwards to go out and play". I did not expect to hear this in an exercise-related video, but wow, it hit SO close to home. That and being too uncoordinated to qualify in team sports in school....(which led to social isolation for me). Jessica, you never cease to make me reflect on my past and see it in a different light (than just "I'm a failure"). Thank you
My workouts used to take 2.5 hours and nowadays I just don't have the time for that 5 days a week lol
No wonder I only did solo sports surfing skating skiing cross-country Long distance cycling, golf. Lol.
Yes! I am definitely looking at my past differently because of her videos too. It's very eye opening for me.
It made me feel so happy to see your house looking ‘normal’ in the background of some of these shots. So many vloggers look like they live in magazine houses and that’s not sustainable for me.
Same here😁
Same!!! ☺️
I noticed and appreciated that too! “Your house is not a museum” is a phrase a realtor once said to me and it stuck.
I really appreciated this also!
They pay for a maid.
"I was born with a brain that wants me to move... and I'm bad at moving!" I can SO relate. Thank you so much for your candor; it's very brave and can reach so many people.
But I think it's an unfair self analysis to say that you are bad at moving. Isn't that rather harsh? You can move just fine. Just because you aren't an Olympic athlete doesn't mean you can't move well. I say if you like to move and you can move (if you are not paraplegic) then find your groove, whatever it is, and do it! And even dear Joni Earackson Tada moves to her best ability the muscle she can move, even painting with her mouth!
But for those who can move more than her, we should not say we are not gifted with motion. This is actually a societal problem of comparing ourselves unreasonably rather than being grateful for who we are.
"My body is for me. Your body is for you." That is such an important concept on so many levels. Thank you for stating it so simply and clearly 💕
I feel a lot of this. For me the biggest barrier is space. There’s just no space in my home that I can use privately to work out and because I have so much embarrassment with the movement of my body I don’t feel like going outside or going to a gym is a possibility. And that’s in addition to the fact that my eyes are extremely sensitive to wind and light and I hate driving. It’s just frustrating to have these barriers and then have my family not understand how hard it is for me to get past them. Their only answer is to just do it anyway and I’m so tired of hearing that.
I know!!! is like if everything is an excuse :c
Maybe offer to send some of these videos and Attitude e-magizine.
Do you have a bedroom to yourself? I’m just wondering about the space you mentioned to see if there is even a small space in your house that you can do workouts in as I do mine in my bathroom which isn’t always ideal. Some workouts I can’t fully do because there isn’t room for my legs or arms and I knock half of my counter down then the hanging shelves with my feet and it’s probably hilarious if anyone else saw it but yea. I also don’t like the gym my Dad started going again he’s like “dog you want to go the gym again?” Me: “unmmmm no. How many. Times. Do I. Have. To. Explain. To. You. That. I. Have. Anxiety disorders and adhd that make leaving the house for doc appts 10x more difficult pre-Covid, now it’s like 100x more difficult with Covid delta 2 etc. I have my workout mat you gave me and I don’t think gums are worth the $ (at least the one in my town it’s not a 10-20 month chain gym it’s over 100 a month) I don’t want to see anyone I know or anyone see me” *I love my Dad soooo much and believe he has adhd undiagnosed too I try not to shout at him bc I think he prob can’t Remember just like how I can’t remember things* & only my Mom understands out of my 3 siblings, and Dad, my Mom knows how much my adhd, anxiety disorders, hold me back. I am eternally grateful for my parents and I want to give back everything they did and still do for me but give them even more. Which isn’t really possible time wise but yea that’s off topic I’m sorry
@@DaisyAruba I think that great if it works for you, but if I couldn’t do an activity because of physical barriers, I would be more frustrated, especially since I would be continually interrupted by people, which would make me even more frustrated. If an activity is going to cause so much unnecessary frustration, I think it is just not worth doing.
I also dislike driving sooo much, and sensitive to light!! Is that an ADHD thing? I HONESTLY DID NOT take my ADHD diagnosis seriously until I started college again fall 2020 (remote I can’t drive a total of 80 mins for college classes. Tried before and it was like too overwhelming for me) I was diagnosed @ 19, and didn’t realize how serious ADHD is until age 25 when I was like wow I’m stuck with myself soooo much now, I see how much of this is ADHD I wonder if I take my ADHD meds on schedule if it’ll help. I was always afraid fo take them cuz of my anxiety disorders, but I tried it. The result: right now I feel like I am a diff person. As everyone says the pills don’t make life perfect they just help at least for me to function better and give me the ability to change my life.
I am 23 and just got diagnosed with ADHD, manic depressive disorder, and social anxiety. I thought being diagnosed would be liberating and validating but I feel off. These videos are helping a lot. Especially as I face people who are closet to me telling me that I don't have ADHD because I don't act like it and I just need to work harder. Your videos make me feel like I am not alone. Thank you
Once diagnosed, others don’t have any say in the matter. Just work with it.
Mate! Me too! I’m bipolar and adhd and both are pretty severe. It’s my downfall and my superpower. I get you. 100%. Love to you. 💕
Women are less likely to be diagnosed. Because we aren't hyper as hell and ridiculously impulsive. But it exists for all genders. Thank fully she has all these episodes of helping us to understand our brains.
I can only speak to my own experience, but when I was diagnosed as an adult a couple years ago, I definitely went through waves of feeling validated, and feeling a big mix of imposter syndrome along with a whole cocktail of anger, regret, and challenging past mindsets. It’s a whole journey tbh, and a very personal one. Everyone’s journey is valid!
i get you.. i was somehow mad at the universe for making my life so hard&also feeling ashamed for feeling that way. overtime i realized that for me, the diagnosis helped me being (and feeling) more in control of my life, because it helped me understand myself better and creating a life that suits me better.. i whish you all the best for your journey&know that you are not alone☺️
In my entire 27 years I've never realized that what I was feeling often, were sensory sensitivies. I just had my mind blown. Thank you!
Right? It’s just mind blowing that it’s a legitimate thing, because everyone around me keeps saying, “What does that matter? Get over it.” Now that I know the word for it, it’s easier to problem solve for (and tell everyone to shove off). 😊
I don’t know for sure if that’s the same with me, but what she mentioned about clothes being too tight, I spend an hour just looking for clothes that will feel good on me, so maybe that’s also the case with me
My largest barrier was getting over the mental effort of starting. Just the thought of exercise seemed like too much, especially with depression and anxiety draining my energy. What I learned to do was to set the bar lower, like what you said in the video, and commit to simply walking for 10-20 minutes a day. It’s low effort and I still work up a sweat due to my fast pace and weather. I highly recommend a brisk 10 minute walk after work or school or just being sedentary for a while. It’ll really wake you up!
I used to workout diligently because I wanted to do bodybuilding (actually did a contest) but it took 2 hours to mentally prepare myself... and 2 more to get through the workout 😅
Yeah it seems that 'just starting' can be one of the biggest hurdles to cross.
Never managed to do it reliably, even when I went to the gym like 4 times a week. It was always a struggle :/
The hardest part for me is starting too. That and consistency. Once I start a task, whether it’s a run, the washing up or whatever else, I’m usually ok. The hard bit is starting because it looks so overwhelming regardless of how many times I’ve done the same thing before.
Walking is underrated. It can do wonders for you. If you find it mind-numbingly boring and music doesn't cut it for you, try listening to comedy while you walk.
I was doing well with my workouts going on a regular schedule of usually 3 times a week. Then it was winter and I get seasonal affect depression and then COVID happened and I had so much anxiety about going back into the gym. I've only been back a couple of times this year. I feel terrible about that, but it does take so much mental effort to get re-started.
I like to listen to music while walking on the treadmill that helps. Hearing that getting started is also a struggle for others with ADHD now makes so much more sense to me. Just knowing this gives me motivation to get re-started and stick with it.
There are a bunch more barriers I didn't even get to in this video -- including physical limitations other than dyspraxia (difficulty with coordination). Would love to hear what yours are and how you deal with them
Dyspraxia in addition or discalculia can really not help. My PE teachers at school used to get really frustrated with me. So I used to always feel like I would fail before I try. One of the reasons I became more positive is I befriended a dude who is on a different part of the spectrum. He taught me what his instructors who also had ASD taught him. It was so inclusive and I think now I use his teaching when I'm at the gym now. He taught me how to focus, so being at the gym is the next step. As you said it's not a 0 to 60 thing. The more we try and learn with our barriers, the better we get bit by bit.
I can't speak for others, but I wanted you to know how much this channel means to me. I cry almost every time I watch one of your videos because nowhere else do I feel so thoroughly understood and valid. Your work is spectacular and invaluable. I was really worried you would stop working on this after your divorce (who could blame you if it had), and so I'm very glad you didn't. Thank you for everything, you've truly made an impact on my mental health and life overall.
I’ve been trying to put together a sustainable program for myself this summer, I’ve had some success, but every time the season changes or my schedule changes it throws me off. Thanks for the video and putting yourself out there! I thought it was great!
I was diagnosed with ADHD last year (I'm 34 now - and female), and I also found out that I have hypermobility and a *complete* lack of proprioception (for those who don't know - the sense of where your body is in space)....so exercise was always hard for me since I couldn't even tell what muscles I was supposed to be working, or I'd injure myself by letting my body move in a way it wasn't supposed to and my progress would reset to zero. I threw my pelvis out several years ago by trying to exercise without realizing my hips are stupidly mobile. I struggle to control where my limbs are in any given movement. My wrists and elbows are loose and prefer weird orientations (that eventually hurt me), and I constantly have to remember to not lock my knees.
I will say that since learning this I've been able to improve my own proprioception with the help of my friend and workout partner who knows a lot about proprioception and exercise science, so I've made a lot of progress in the past year. Basically he'd watch me like a hawk to identify where issues were and then we'd work on fixing them one at a time. He would also give me external cues to what muscles were supposed to be working at any given time. Strength training is recommended both for hypermobility (but be safe about it) and for building proprioception. My friend also built a web app that we use to track our progress and it tells us what weights we should be using, so I don't have to constantly think about it or remember from day to day what I'm supposed to be lifting. Plus there's an easy spot to enter in all the information.
Honestly I wouldn't be doing as well as I am without this friend ^^ he got me into working out in the first place and we've been doing this for several years now at this point, but the ADHD/hypermobility/proprioception aspect was a huge piece of the puzzle.
Do you have dyspraxia?
My exercise tends to come from "unconventional" activities, like hiking and rock climbing. They work so well for me because they don't really feel like working out, but rather a fun activity that also happens to be good exercise!
It also helps a ton that rock climbers tend to also be the "weird" quirky types that welcome everyone. For example, my climbing friends have a group chat currently named "merry band of socially anxious and/or awkward misfits" 😃
I was going to mention climbing. I think it's suchhhh a good sport for ADHD brains for a number of reasons--and the community you mentioned is definitely one of them!
I was just thinking about trying rock climbing! Now I want to go and really try climbing, tho is almost 1:00 am haha
I’m terrified of heights, but years ago, my sis had her bday party at a rock climbing place and I ended up climbing because I got bored watching everyone else. Thinking back on it now, I really enjoyed it. I’ve also seen a group of girls skateboarding while out on walks a few times. They weren’t doing tricks and their boards were more suited toward travel so I may try that. It looked relaxing.
"merry band" of literally anything is the thing I want most in my life /gen
@@chaoticpenguin1498 I'm scared of heights, so I do bouldering instead of lead climbing. See if you have any bouldering gyms around you. The height is only 10-15 feet.
seriously the uncomfortable clothes is such a big barrier. for me personally, i just hate sweating so much and i feel like i sweat more than others or it just bothers me more. it seems all workout clothes are super tight fitting, and it just makes me more uncomfortable bc the sweat sticks to me even more. like i can’t stand sports bras especially they feel super suffocating. that’s why i just work out in my room with no clothes on. that makes it soooo much more bearable lmao. thanks for this video! i cried with you too.
I know this may not be for you but I have a very, very hard time feeling hot and sweaty. It seems counter intuitive but going to hot yoga was like exposure therapy for me. Being in a hot yoga room (or a sauna would work too) where I just had to accept that I was going to be very sweaty and that was okay was really mentally helpful. I still struggle with it but the exposure to it worked for me (but it may not for everyone of course)
Omg YES! Sweating has always been a big thing for me; and not only sweating but maybe even more so the shower after. When I shower, I always feel like I have to make sure I am completely clean, and that can be hard enough when I haven’t sweated, but if I just did a workout and I’m completely drenched, that makes it so much worse.
@@kwf92 i actually love saunas and steam rooms! i think it's maybe because i associate that kind of sweating as something that's good for you whereas other kinds of sweating just feel nasty. i guess i gotta to psych myself up like mentally train myself.
Swim.
Maybe try men's athletic clothes?! I basically live in sports clothes and I hate tight fitting clothes, can't have it on my body.
"I was born with a brain that tells me to move, I am hyperactive... And, I am bad at moving"
You videos are so powerful, and speak so intimately to my personal experience. Thank you for continuing to make such amazing videos to change awareness
THIS! Thank you to you both for showing me that this is a common experience. Ugh, I was so bad at sports and uncoordinated as a kid. I think it was a developmental delay, because I'm really not that bad in adulthood. BUT I still have this perpetual, internalized belief that I'm pretty uncoordinated despite some evidence to the contrary. Thanks for the insight!
"Oh man, this is going to be embarrassing..." and then she presents an absolutely awesome and helpful video again.
For me, I’ve found that if I commit to a 3/wk schedule of classes, I actually do pretty well…until the one day I don’t go. The struggle to start back even after missing 1 class is so hard. Does anyone else experience that?
I was working with the one exercise app that has daily exercises but with set breaks every so many days. I know it's designed so the muscles can get a rest, but I will struggle to start up again if I do take that break.
You're not alone! I feel the same way, but we gotta think that's not the end just a continuation haha I hate to feel that way I guess we gotta train that part 🙌🏼
it's the shame that makes it hard to go back for me, at least
Yes very much
I've always had that struggle
“I wanted to say I accomplished this on my own, but it’s actually good enough to say I accomplished this” This one hit me hard
Among other things I'm so grateful to you that you shoot your room messy. I literally spent my whole life, it seems, feeling guilty for my failure to sustain my room tidy, like I was the only one human being unable to do so. Thank you a lot for normalising ADHD messiness))
I was thinking the same thing, too.... :)
I didn't even realized till you pointed that out
What's funny is people think if you are adhd thaf you should have a super tidy house due to the energy involved ppl don't get that most of our energy goes towards the effort of starting something. 🤔
@@bellabear653 oh, wel...if only...)))
minimalism really helped me ❤️ Less inventory is key, giving everything a home (I even label those homes to my hubby's chagrin) is the second key. The Minimal Mom and Dana K White"s books and Cassandra Aarssen, the Clutterbug who also has Adhd.
I completely forgot about being a kid and getting stressed that most of the kids would finish their work before me and I would feel so sad because I wouldn’t have the amount of play time they did. Then I couldn’t focus because I was stressing
That was me as well. Also, when I was in high school there would be those that would get their homework done in class before it was over and I didn't understand how.
I have always been slower than others at doing things and I have hated that about me. I am starting to understand and accept that it is just me and I will love myself no matter what. :)
I never had play time as a kid, except for weekends. Usually Friday I'd have friends over and play outside, Saturday I'd spend with family, usually outside, drawing, or playing with Lego, and Sunday I'd be at my mom's house, often playing dress up, doing crafts, or whatever I could find to do with neighbours. I never really had time after school, except to maybe watch 1-2 episodes of something on TV (usually Hannah Montana and Suite Life), maybe play a few rounds of something on my Wii or DS with my stepbrothers, then go to bed. From ages 6-14, I had about 2-3 hours worth of homework just because I couldn't focus at school. I had amazing teachers who would help in their free time, which I'm forever grateful, and I wasn't the only one with learning challenges and being neurodivergent. But in high school and university, things get more competitive, one prof even had a leaderboard of who finished first. He wasn't that great, and I'm glad I haven't had anything else from him.
I blocked out a lot of my childhood, but you're not alone, and if you can, I saw a learning disability specialist, and she helped me work through some stuff, which was so good!
You make people with ADHD feel normal. Thank you so much. I could never figure out what was wrong with me and why I couldn't keep the motivation and consistency. This video helped tremendously!
For two years I journaled every single day. Very basic stuff like my overall happiness that day and what activities I did.
Towards the end of those two years I was in a Stat class and I decided my final project was to analyze my happiness and figure out where it came from.
Not a single day that I worked out was below a 3/5 in terms of happiness. When comparing against partying, drugs, festivals and vacations, nothing could shake a stick at working out. It single handedly had the greatest measurable effect on my mood.
I highly recommend it. HIGHLY
Whoa, this one hit too close to home. Growing up, I didn't know I had ADHD, and my self esteem was almost nonexistent. It's very difficult to watch your friends excel in whatever interest they have, while I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I like to do in the first place. Thanks for this video and opening yourself up to us
This is my whole life man I was diagnosed as hyper active as a kids but haven't fully seen a doctor recently about the topic
Me too I grew up in a time ADHD was not a known diagnosed disorder I always felt like a failure in most areas that lead to crippling low self esteem, anxiety disorder, depression, and other manifestations. I was made aware I might be ADHD in my 20’s but thought why bother getting diagnosed now I’m a grown up , went another decade to diagnosed in my 30’s. Now I’m in my 40’s properly medicated life is still challenging however I now have more tools in my box and a understanding of why certain things are challenging so I’m less harsh on my self when things are less than optimal.
mood
Ya know, I probably would have too because I was in the same kind of situation. However I got lucky. I had parents who, even though they didn't know I had ADHD, raised me in a way that was pretty freakind ADHD friendly. My confidence was constantly being built up, they helped me to find things I was good at, and if I lost interest in something (like ballet, for instance) they allowed me to finish out the season and then not have to do it again. I got lucky, and I am so grateful for my parents. I know it's hard when it feels like you aren't good at anything, especially as a kid. I'll bet money that you had more people in your corner than you thought though, and they were cheering you on every step of the way.
I feel that hard
How were you able to describe in a few videos my entire childhood without even personally knowing me? After 54 years of life, FINALLY someone understands what was/is going on inside of my head and heart! I plan to share your video with my eating disorder therapy team as I'm working hard to repair the damage done when I was young. I'm fighting hard; I will overcome!
I am at the exact same point in my life as well. 54. Good luck!
Same ❤
"All of our ADHD symptoms kinda work together to..." Yes. This is one of the most frustrating parts of this whole situation. Sometimes it feels like the components of ADHD were designed to fit together and make people bad at the way our world works _specifically_, and I'm tired of finding new ways in which this is true for me.
I have ADHD inattentive type and it's so, so difficult to exercise. It's even harder to explain to others why it's basically impossible for me to work out the way others do. I can't bike or run on a treadmill or lift weights without getting so painfully BORED! Even having a book or TV like others do isn't enough because the activity itself is so boring. I try, but I just can't keep it up for long without the siren call of something actually interesting calling me away. Throw in a cardiac condition, and the reward from traditional exercise will never outweigh the frustration. I cannot tell you how much of a boon it is that I'm back in dance classes and also having VR. Being able to also develop a skill like in ballroom or playing a fun game like Beat Saber are ways for me to actually enjoy working out. They keep my mind active as well as my body and it makes a huge difference.
You are a loser.
@@somerandomperson467 Projection?
@@klovrband nah just a reality check
I would try gymnastics! Adults can do it too and it's an amazing sport. Dance is great as well :)
try Dance Dance Revolution
As a personal trainer who recently got diagnosed with combined type adhd, I can tell you having systems in place to reduce the barrier and building good habits from a place of consistency day over day really does help a lot. Thank you for getting the message out there for those who struggle and knowing that they aren't alone.
I can relate, I created systems and based them around organised sport (I'm a sprinter and dabble in other events), to give me the structure and consistency to base good habits around.
(One of the) biggest barrier for me in the exercising was to stay consistent in which I failed massively. I am planning to restart that again soon in a few week.
But yes, after exercising, I felt quite content. But as I missed one day, it went like complete domino and shred my habit away
Same for me, I believe that she points out the mistake I made in the past, which is setting goals that are too ambicious. I'm also going to start exercising after a few years not going to the gym (home exercise is not for me, as I don't have accountability, and simply don't exercise if nobody is there to check). I was about to start, wile promising myself I was going to go to the gym 5 times a week, and after seing this video I realized I was probably going to feel frustrated and quit again. So, I'll try to set my expectations lower, and build up slowly.
Sameeee
Something that helps me stay consistent is to use rewards to form habit. It's the first thing I analyze if I'm not staying consistent. For example, running every morning is a difficult task, so I changed my route to stop by a store to get myself a small sugary drink at the end of the run. (Note: I normally drink water only) I also keep records of my running time in a book next to my bed because looking at my progress often encourages me to continue and it's just plain satisfying to look at. The last thing I do is to be forgiving on the days I don't want to run by just getting up and just walking. This way I'm still in the habit circle. These techniques were not formed over night. It took a while to figure out what worked with me, so don't give up AND continue to experiment!
Yes! And my motivation just keeps going away, I love the feeling after I exercise, but then the next day, I don’t want to do it anymore.
And if I stop, then I get even less motivated and I get depressed.”
So I found this channel to understand my kids who are diagnosed ADHD. Thank You for being so open about your struggles, it not only helps those with ADHD, it helps us caregivers understand. 🤗
Take it from a guy who was not given the space to be ADHD as a kid. if you put the extra effort/love into supporting your kids with ADHD you will not only save them an enormous amount of heartache, you will empower them to shock you by what they will accomplish. You will be so happy down the road for this investment.
@@davidfrost4669 go Fred! Wish more parents did that
@@swayback7375 EX-freaking-ACTLY!
This channel is what helped my mum to accept and understand how my brain works, I‘m happy for your kids that they have a parent doing this research too!
really wish my dad would watch these videos tbh, lucky child
I never…. Thought ADHD was something I could possibly have… but I’ve binged a couple of your videos and I… have never felt more seen. I’ve forced myself to be a high achiever for several years after school but something changed in the past 2-3 years which I have no explanations for until now. Thank you for what you do.
did you...hit the crash and burn phase after high functioning?
Omg same! These videos are so eye-opening for me rn
Apparently hormones affect women and ADHD as well. 😓
@@Mizz.Person im trying hard to balance my hormones and nervous system to lead a more regular, balanced life... feels like a silent battle every day, week.
Nothing better then to Diagnose oneself through Videos on the internet
Powerlifting was on the best things that ever happened to me in terms of exercising. The number chasing nature of the training gamifies the process and also gives clear goals.
I used to do this as well - until the numbers weren't going up fast enough anymore when I hit a plateau, pushed too hard to lift something I couldn't and then injured myself.
Good for you!
This but included Olympic lifting as well, and bit of gymnastics. Wish I I had known I was capable of being coordinated, fast and accurate when I was a kid. Now nearing 40 and finally going that out. But the ADHD doubt creeps in a bunch and if I didn't have a support group to push me I'd likely give up thinking I was not doing well.
Agreed. Same with strongman. I haven't competed in either in years but for both sports I had the same standard of excellence: I didn't die. I can miss lifts or screw up in an event and shrug it off because I at least tried. It doesn't work for everyone but it worked for me!
I've been looking into doing this.
I get so frustrated at the "fleeting" motivation. For a full second I consider that it would be great to just dance in front of a mirror, go for a walk, lift some dumbbells, but then it's gone and I feel "lazy" again instead.
I definitely think depression as a super common co-morbid doesn't help with the starting of anything you want to do.
Also the pressure to do it "enough" or "right" doesn't help, even if that pressure is in my head coming from me.
The few times I've been able to upkeep with a new habit has been at absolute best 3 months. Then my brain goes "we're done with that now, for at least a year if not forever." Makes creating and keeping habits near impossible for me.
yes. Habit building feels impossible. I feel like I'm fighting the indigenous habits of a blob.
Yes, fleeting motivation! I’ve experienced times when I felt really excited to do/make something but the moment I touched the object (didn’t even need to pick it up) I didn’t want to do it anymore.
I bought James Clear's book "Atomic Habits," & it's a wonderfully helpful book. But for some reason what works for so many other people does not seem to work for me.
It's like walking through a field of tall grass. The first time takes a lot of effort, but each time you walk it the grass gets smashed down flatter until there is an easy dirt path.
But for me, I can't seem to stay on the same path long enough for it to flatten. I get distracted by a pretty flower or some wiggling grass & go off to see if it's a rabbit. Or I enter the field from a different position because it's closer. Or I trip, fall on my face, & now I don't feel good so I leave the field & procrastinate the trip.
In short, my inability to STAY ON THE SAME PATH keeps the grass from flattening enough to make the walking easy. External guides help me--when I remember to use them. Anybody else have this problem? What have you found that works?
@@robinplank4730 I'm still looking. Sorry.
@@robinplank4730 great analogy! Well put!
@3:46 YES! I used to always feel bad and be *painfully* aware that I was "slow" in everything I did--especially in test taking and simple subjects like coloring or PE (or cross country-& thankfully, no, my coach didn't let me quit & today I'm one of the few people I know that STILL run...) it took a LONG TIME for me to be able to decide it's okay to TELL people that "I'm not fast" but I will be "thorough"...
"not fast but thorough" is a good phrase! im using that
❤❤❤ love you
For me, the hardest part about trying to work out is the *steps* it's takes trying to get their. Like the fact I'd have to change my clothes to do one, then have to change them again afterwards because I'd be sweaty. There's also the fact I have a rather strict daily routine due to also having autism, and if that falls behind in anyway i start to get anxious and upset. I do try to get out for a walk 30-40 mins everyday tho as a compromise, as not only is it good exercise, it also helps with my mental health
Exactly me.. i also have both ADHD and Autism and everything you said is me.. i hate changing my clothes to a point where i’ll put on clothes when i go to sleep that can work for the day and for sleep. When i’m sweaty i’d have to immideately shower after however i normally shower right after dinner so it cuts out my regular evening routine of showering just after dinner.
GOD yes. I work early mornings, and I always think I should exercise before going home. Then I do once, and remember why I don't. I get off work and realize I don't have the right clothes. Try again tomorrow. I get off work, brought clothes, drive around aimlessly for somewhere to change. Gas station? Okay. Took too long, now I'm too hungry to work out. Buy random fast dinner, wrong choice, too full to work out now, try again tomorrow. I get off work, brought clothes, brought a healthy snack, plan to change in the car but -- I forgot my shoes. Brought the clothes, but not the shoes. Walk a half-hearted block around my apartment in wedge sandals. Try again -- next week? Uuuuggghhhhhhh. F*ck it.
Same. I hate changing multiple times, I don't want to wash my hair if I just washed it, or carry a bunch of stuff to work, but also too stressful to go home just to head out again... What works for me is to make a weekly schedule ahead (it's hard sticking to it but without it it's chaos) I put on my gym outfit first thing in the morning and then work out after breakfast or anytime later if I'm working from home. On non gym days I take a walk some time in the day in my regular clothes. Walks everyday is better than occasional gym sessions in every way! On weekends I choose a fun activity that just happens to be exercise, like hiking, swimming, working in the garden, dancing or riding a mechanical bull...
Idk if this will be helpful for anyone but one thing I do is sleep in comfy clothes that are also good to exercise in (shorts, t-shirt, leggings) so when I wake up I can just exercise right away then just change once before I start my day.
For me what works is pre workout, even if it doesnt do anything i get the feeling i have to go cause it is going to start working. Just don't change ur clothes or atleast try to think u won't, else that will become the focus
The “bad at sports” part really hit home for me! I have had issues with that my entire life because of childhood experiences. I have found that I enjoy powerlifting and general strength training; I found that I’m good at it too :)
Same here. I also have hip dysplasia and got teased for my limp and how I couldn't run fast in school, so that experience + genuine physical limitations + general clumsiness has cemented in me since childhood that I'm just not an active person, and never will be :(
Me too!!! I have dropped and gotten frustrated with so many sports until I finally picked up some weights and every time I didn't want to participate in a game in PE, I just went to my weights and lifting stations and it was so much more fun.
my motivation for working out is the possibility of a crippling anxiety attack in the week as working out has rlly helped get rid of all that nervous energy
Wow I feel so seen. The barriers, the frustration, the clean house with a random pile of things in a corner or on a dresser. These videos mean so much to me. I’ve been feeling like I’ve failed at keeping up with working out but the adhd brain strikes again in making everyday steps feel like a mountain to climb. Thank you for being so candid you give so much hope
i personally struggle a LOT with exercising. i hate it SO MUCH. my biggest challenge with adhd is my lack motivation
Same!! I always find it so hard to go through with MANY THINGS, especially when I be so ambitious and yet I can lose it so quickly and I don't want to do it anymore.
I feel you, we usually don't keep our goals in mind for too long, and without goals, motivation vanishes so fast.
I have a kitchen light that is out and I cant seem to get motivated to change it....I fell in love with exercise just because it releases dopamine!
Start with walking. It can do wonders for you.
Same. The only thing that got me to exercise was getting a dog. I have to walk them a lot and they will let you know. And if you don’t do it there are actual consequences like accidents on the carpet. So much motivation. Plus you just want to keep them healthy since they rely on you.
Thank you! I was just diagnosed at age 57. Hearing some of your experiences, especially from childhood, help me understand my childhood and look at things in a new light! I really appreciate your emotional openness and candor. It brought tears to my eyes for both of use (and everyone else). Thank you again!!!
You know, I have been diagnosed with ADHD for about 18 years now. I’m almost 29 and the very VERY specific things she mentions are shockingly relevant to my own experience. I really appreciate this channel so much
I feel SO SEEN, this brought me to tears because everything you say I’m just like “yes exactly!!!!”. Thank you so much for making this content, I was just diagnosed at 24 and I feel so validated!!!
@@bastadtroll8922 yes. So?
@@bastadtroll8922 what you see as character weakness is a character strength to others. Your viewpoint isn’t the only one! The fact you need to go and self proclaiming troll shows that you’re the insecure one, you don’t have enough confidence behind your opinions you attempt to bring others down(hint it doesn’t work). This person is strong enough to present a vulnerable side of herself to the internet, how is that a character flaw? That’s bravery
the way this video made me bawl! i didnt realize i had so much internalized shame surrounding being clumsy growing up, and struggling with team sports. so many things are just falling into place for me now. getting the answers and finding new solutions really is so exciting!
Hello how are you doing?
I was recently diagnosed adhd and anxiety, I always thought I was just lazy or maybe I wasn't trying hard enough but I would literally be paralyzed from starting exercise to the point of an anxiety attack. I had "more important things to do" so exercise could wait or it was just another thing on my ridiculously big "to do" list and it just wouldn't get done. Then I would have people say "you just need to prioritize better" and "self care is more important than the dishes" but exercise can be exhausting and I would only have so much energy to work with in the first place so I would do the dishes and pray I had enough energy later so I wouldn't feel like such a failure.
Here's a simple exercise routine to remember. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays. Right before taking a shower, do a specific short full body routine that you have written down and stored that note in a specific location. By a short routine, I mean maybe 10-30 minutes. And do it at home. My routine was disrupted by upgrading it to a GYM routine and a couple of years later was too busy to go to the gym. Most health benefit people get from exercise is from the first weekly hour.
My ADHD powers my OCD which keeps me getting ready to start the formulation of a plan to initiate the beginning of a formula for . . .
I could go on for days this way.😱
@George B. Wolffsohn
The frequency of exercise is already optimized according to exercise papers, doing more doesn't help beginners.
Then do a single set for each movement as long as you can that maximizes results compared to effort for beginners.
Purchase pair of dumbbells and look for ANY bodybuilder program, and just go for a single set of each movement to save time.
Approximately 99% of advice for lifting weights comes from people whose goal is to look like ROCK and doesn't apply to people whose only goal is to get healthy musculature and not dedicate life to become a bodybuilder.
After doing 6 months on one program to get the basics and basic musculature there's even a point in optimizing the program. The most important variable to optimize are how many days does it take to start an exercise routine?
And can you make it a habit that doesn't really take effort to initiate?
After 6 months of lifting you have gotten enough hold of the matter that you can go OCD to optimize what movements to make.
"I just want to believe in myself". That resonated with me. I just want to be happy with myself. Regardless of how "successful" I am at the task.
Last year I got into an amazing exercise habit. I was working out five days a week and I had a regimen I loved following. After six months of it being a rock solid habit, it just... vanished. I am so frustrated. I have been spending the last six months now being stuck at what feels like square one all over again, making it a habit again. Everyone around me talks about "oh 21 dAys To BeCoMiNg a HaBiT" well look at me sticking to it for half a year and I STILL somehow managed to fail 😒
Wow! 6 months is a lot, congratulations, I can never spend more than a couple of months doing anything, and I thought that is why I couldn't create a habbit. It seems any habbit is fragile with us ADHD brains. It's hard to find the motivation and also keep it.
The 21 days thing is a minimum. The same people who published that said that it takes some people 9 MONTHS to form a habit.
This happens to me too! Going strong with something & then it’s just gone! So frustrating!
omg literally same! I hate the "21 days to build a habit" thing. I meditated for 212 days in a row, but missed ONE day and then struggled for weeks to meditate again. 🙄I feel like some things will NEVER be a natural habit for me no matter how long I stick with it
Same :(
Omg… I never even considered that my ADHD could be something that’s been holding me back but when I think about it that’s exactly what it is! Especially in regards to emotional dysregulation and delayed gratification! It’s… it’s so incredibly relieving to know that I’m not just a failure, but that there’s actually been a reason why I couldn’t get anywhere. And I thought I *had* to “set the bar at 60” because I respond better to routine… I didn’t think it was actually setting me back, but I can see now how it did. Thank you so very much for making this video. I want you know how much of an impact this had on me. I’ll take what you said and try to move forward.
I was also diagnosed ADHD but I think im no different from anyone else and If I fail its not because of my ADHD but my own incompetence I dunno I just believe that having ADHD isnt an excuse at least to me
@@pablogarcia6188 would you say that to someone who had recently broken their leg and was having a hard time keeping up with others when they went for a walk? would you tell them that their broken leg was "just an excuse"? Mental health is so easily dismissed, probably because it can't be seen, but it's just as important as physical health. I'm not planning on using my ADHD as a means to get out of doing things, but being able to identify when it's effecting me can help in knowing how i can handle situations better so that i can start moving forward.
@@pablogarcia6188 thats just a very insensitive thing to say and caren explains it well
Me too, it’s empowering
@@pablogarcia6188 You know, a funny thing about ADHD is that sometimes when we are struggling with something we project it and try to put others down. Learn the difference between "excuse" and "DISABILITY". You have it too mate. There are people inherently better than you, at everything, despite doing less work than you, and you will never catch up. No matter how hard you try. No matter what you do. Because your brain isn't connected the same as others. You will be turned away for jobs. You will be turned down for dates. Because you didn't notice something or forgot something or were late. You will struggle with the game of life. How'd that make you feel? If you say fine, you don't have adhd and you're a troll (based on your comment that's my guess...because if you had adhd that isn't how you would normally feel). If you say bad, then you do, and now you know how rude, insensitive comments feel to already vulnerable people. 🤬
Oh man. You made me understand so much. As soon as you said “if the weights hurt your hands”, I felt it. A hair elastic that pulls on a piece of hair is enough to derail me. ❤️❤️❤️
Yes, a hair elastic that pulls on a piece of hair is enough to derail me also 😭 but at least we recognise it ☺️
Or the elastic on gym leggings that squeezes my back
That is something that hits home
Clothes too tight or even just fitting a tiny bit snug is super irritating to me. I always wonder why other techs and nurses wear their scrubs so tight! LOL!!
THE HAIR ELASTIC SINGLE HAIR PULL it's why I keep a comb on me. I cannot go on until this is fixed, or I fixate on it.
My motivation to go to the gym has been to improve my sensitivity to noisy, distracting enviroments. I still find being there hell on earth at times but I reward myself on each machine as I stay focused.
The useful thing about my gym is that it has a lot of monitor systems the Copilot mentioned but without the personalised feedback which for me is ok but I definitely see how that could be useful if people find gyms difficult to be in.
I wish exercise discussions were focused more on self regulation rather than aesthetics. I have stopped talking to non close friends about my workouts because they focus on weight loss which isn't my motivation. My motivation is to manage my impulsivity through enjoying getting to know my body and displining my focus.
Yes, this!! There are a lot of benefits to exercise that have nothing to do with weight loss (and are more immediate)
Thank you so much. I'm crying too. I've been diagnosed last year at 27, and so much makes sense... But I'm still struggling to navigate life and be a proper "adult". I used to think I was autistic or something... Something was off and my ADHD contributed to my depression and feelings of suicide as a hopeless basket case. But as I watch your videos, I'm learning to work with my brain, not against it. Thank you! thank you! Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this! It sounds like you've had to be incredibly resilient going through all that without understanding why. I'm glad you're still here and I'm happy my videos have been a helpful part of your journey :)
I am 50 and still not able to proper adulting.
@@762531971 then I guess we're the lucky ones who get to feel forever young at heart. Most people who do adulting right are not as funny anyway.
Oh oh...I missed the class on "proper adulting!" Didn't know there was one, or, maybe I skipped it. I was diagnosed at 40...I am now 53 and, like @David York, I am never sure if I am properly adulting. I love that term and I am going to steal it! Perhaps you have discovered this La Victoire, knowing that you have ADHD, what it is and how it manifests in you is uplifting and freeing when you start learning about the ways you can adapt and configure your life to work best for you to be able to navigate, as you say! If you remember that, you will be just fine. God speed...
I was diagnosed at 27 with adhd and depression too! You’re not alone!
Wow! Thank you for being so honest with your struggle. I didn't realize how many barriers I had with having ADHD, from every shade of excuse, being too tired, sensory barriers, too much clutter, boredom, procrastination, feeling like a failure after I didn't live up to the high expectations I put on myself.
I really appreciate you talking about this!! As a plus size person I have lots of feelings and trauma around exercise but I hadn’t factored my ADHD Into that equation. It really has taken a toll on my trust in my body and I’m still working on fitting consistent movement into my life!
Yes!!! Same. Also I have spent most of my life ignoring or not noticing my body signals. I just want to begin the process of having a positive relationship with my body.
And the body shame. I can't work out in front of anyone. Not even my SO. That I live with. And do "things" with. Cannot workout. Must be alone.
I didn't know my skin's sensitivity on the clothes I wear was a sign of ADHD. Always knew about my aversion to bright lights, strong odors, strong flavors and loud noise but my brain skipped tactile sensitivity. Thank you very much for this.
It actually, gets to the bottom of my heart, to see someone with my condition to open up to things that are so hard for neurotypical people to understand, thanks for being so sincere, love your content. proud to be ADHD because of people like you who help us thrive in this sea of energy.
I realized I’ve been living with ADHD and have done nothing. My family never took me to a doctor at all…I haven’t seen a doctor since I was a child. Your videos help me know I’m not alone
Snap, makes life make sense eh! I’m 35 !
36....
Similar experience, my parent never really understood it or how much it was holding me back, Now you know so take control, make the changes you need to, seek help if you have to and don't look back ! 🤗
This is exactly me and i took up psychology and im in my 30s and i feel so misunderstood. Feeling likebyoire really smart but not doing your full potential. Wakingbup each day or going to bed is hard enough. Its hard to be this person they expect me to be and dont believe my ADHD as an adult 🤦🏽♀️
Exactly my story. Parents never took me to the doctor. I had to just deal with any ailment I had.
Now I’m trying to play catch up.
Something that has really helped me is to make exercising exciting - outfits really does it for me. Choosing an outfit to wear, drinking my supplements and walking over gets me motivated, it's almost pavlovean. Then once i am at the gym, i'm motivated Also finding something you like and not beating yourself up if you miss a day. Its basically the only big habbit i've been consistent with
Congratulations! I hope to get to that point.
@@ashleyburks4639 thanks for the support Ashley 😊❤
@@ashleyburks4639 you can do it, i totally believe in you! Even if its not consistent, it's better to try. Good luck, you got this 💪
Oh some extra tips:
1. Try different times. i'm a night workout person, my body is stronger at night 7pm or later and i get sick in the morning.
2. Get hand protectors for weight training - like the comfy yoga mat, this can help you feel better and therefore more motivated. I have lots of trinkets like bands and hand protectors to help me.
3 - eat and hydrate! I eat oatmeal as a snack 30 mins before to boost my energy.
4 - most important, try you best and dont stress of you get off track. Like in meditation, the goal is to guide yourself back, not to cut off all your thoughts. Focus on strength and how you feel. Do you feel strong/fast/relaxed/happy? Yes? Amazing! You did your job.
Good luck brains ❤
nice tip, I think one of my barriers is my sporting outfits, I don't like them, that's one barrier I can take care of. I'll go shopping! (trying to keep my impulsive side in control)
i love exercising, always loved, even before i found out i had adhd i used to exercise a lot because it always helped me cope with the anxiety and it was the single moment that I could easily focus on the objective, due to the pandemic and being locked in my appartment for almost 2 years ive found out that my biggest problem is that I have to be at the gym to workout, if I am home I will defintelly look for something else to do... so the envirioment is very important and impacts directly my motivation!
just saying, this might help someone!
I was scrolling through the comments hoping to read something like this. I always loved sports (even team sports) and fitness. It's the only thing i have the feeling that i really excelled in. That's why for me it's easy to workout 5 or 6 days a week. I felt exactly the same way about the lockdown. So i don't this video applies to everyone with ADHD. I myself couldn't relate to anything said.
Such a good video! The way you describe your problems with ADHD as a teen mirrors mine so fully. My parents didn't "believe" in ADD/ADHD, so they pulled me out of school the moment my teachers started expressing concerns for my attentiveness. I was prone to sporadic and prolonged bouts of day dreaming the moment something didn't make sense to me or I felt bored. For years, I thought I was uniquely broken. Didn't face up to my ADHD diagnosis until I was well into adulthood. So glad you're sharing.
one of my biggest barriers is the fact that i can’t exercise on the days when i take my ADHD meds because it raises my heart rate too much. so, often times i have to choose between taking my medicine/not exercising or exercising/not taking my medicine which results in lower levels of focus as the day goes on. another option is to wake up early (6:00am) so i can workout before i take my medicine. i take an extended release pill so i have to take it in the morning and it doesn’t wear off until night time. it really is a struggle, because i’m in college and i need to take my medicine in order to focus during class and during study times, but i also know i need to exercise because it helps with cognitive function, mental wellness, physical wellness, etc. then add this barrier to other barriers such as motivation, time, discipline, focus, planning, etc. i’m just trying to do my best, but it’s super frustrating.
Same. So much of this resonates with me. I was working out at home, lifting weights, jogging. I started taking medication and stopped working out, and now I can't get into a habit with either one.
That sucks and is a difficult challenge. I tried a long acting/ extended release med and it raised my heart rate WAY too much and wasn’t effective as my previous short acting med so switched back. Another option would be to just stick to low intensity workouts that won’t raise your HR too much ie. walking! It’s free and a great stress reliever! Good luck :)
This happens to me too! If I workout on my meds my heart rate gets too high and I get an abnormal heart rhythm.
I had the exact same issue in college!! Idk what classes your university offers, but I'd definitely recommend looking into yoga or another core strength workout that doesn't require high energy. Personally, I did Barre my senior year and LOVED it (yoga was too boring lmao)
@@hobihope2981 thanks so much for the recommendations!! my school offers barre and yoga so maybe i will try those out!
I try and only watch your videos at certain times. I've never been diagnosed, but Every time I watch one of your videos, some deep part of me wells up with the compound layers of validation, especially as they counter the decades of negativity and " why can't you just straighten up and be normal like everyone else" that I have constantly had to swim through.
You are an amazing resource, and you are helping people actualize and bloom.
Thank you.
Agree
I think something, at least for me, I like to do rock climbing / bouldering. It's never the same thing twice (unless you fail, which is part of the fun), plus you don't need to remember the 5 thousand exercises for each muscle. A plus is there is no "form", just an easier way to do it. It's a full body workout. The only issue for me is to find someone to do it with me and go consistently.
Bouldering worked really well for me too, as well as circus arts. Basically I need it to feel like play.
Also chasing that sweet adrenaline rush.. no better reward.
Is it dangerous? I don’t want to have an accident or injuries etc otherwise I would love to do it.
@@nanasabiabouldering and rock climbing is awesome and not dangerous, find a local climbing wall and just go, ask a staff member to show you the ropes after you’ve been a few times mention it to a friend/ colleague etc.
I used to go with my husbands best friend when we lived close together and it was exercise that he enjoyed as somebody with ADHD and we miss climbing together. Will definitely continue when we live near each other again.
Focusing on isolating the particular muscles really helps me too! My trainer says I have good mind-body awareness but I think that it's actually more like if I focus on the proper form of each movement, I'm less likely to focus on how difficult it is, how tired I am, or how much I would rather be doing something easier.
I always appreciate the videos where you allow yourself to be vulnerable on camera and not editing it out. It honestly makes me connect so much more and I actually pay more attention with a lot of your videos because of it. I'm gonna try to look into this program next month once I have some money put to the side
When I reached highschool, my ADHD appeared and I suddenly had a hard time with my school thus I gave up on taking care of myself to keep my grades up. This has lead me to become overweight, and I've just felt awful about it. I would start a workout plan, manage to go through a few days, then something would happen and I'd end up not doing it, which led me back to the start again. Thankk you so much for this video, I really am hoping to try to take control over some of my life!
I just found your channel today, and I can't wait to watch more of your videos (while I'm procrastinating from doing something important lol).
Its really helpful to have affirmed that dispraxia is a trait that is common for ADHDers.
My current goal in exercise is simply that I make it to my class (with adequate nutrition to support working out) and don't injure myself so that I'm able to come back next time.
Also, the struggle is real to get enough calories and the right nutrition on a super tight budget. I've absolutely had days where I skipped exercise because I wasn't going to be able to afford a hearty meal. It's a major emotional bummer when it happens.
I'm so glad your room is messy. Thanks for keeping it real!
My room was like that until I take Provigil. Now most days I make my bed. Strange how that feels satisfying to me now. So I appreciate Provigil and Dr Ginsberg!
OMG thank you! I feel so much better because I just started working out again after a 5 year hiatus and I’m like I’m going to work out 5x a week and eat healthy and i only worked out 3X this week and felt like a failure and I completely went into the “I can’t do this” mentality. I think setting realistic goals for ourselves, so we don’t feel like a failure is KEY. We want those FAST dopamine fixes too and with working out it takes time and patience to see results. I can eat a fried chicken sandwich and feel instantly recharged … oh the struggles are real 😂
The thing that made me successful (and what I'm trying to get back to) was noticing that my body felt *better* after exercise, and so did my mental state. Once I got into a good routine, I could usually get past the barrier by telling myself I always feel better after exercising, which I can't say when I skip it.
My approach: Find some form of movement that you love, that engages your brain to the point of hyperfocus so that you crave the next time you can do it. For me over the years that was ballet, horseback riding, playing golf. I hate running, the gym, yoga etc. and after giving it a try I don´t force myself to do it. Why should I set myself up for failure? I need movement with a goal that doesn´t focus on the fitness aspect which is so boooring to me. Find a sport that your brain loves. Why should I struggle with workouts I hate?
Mine is climbing at the moment; I highly recommend it since it's inherently novel every time you do it and you get to solve a new "puzzle"/challenge on the wall every time. Maybe this one will actually last and not just be a phase...
I have ice-skating as my happy place. I had an injury and was lost not being able to go, it was weird to miss an exercise.
@@theAnnabelle2012 I would second this! I was doing this before the pandemic, and would like to get back to it. It was just the right mix of physical and mental stimulation...plus just the right bit of adrenaline being so high up!
Agreed. Bike riding for me! Although I’m often only motivated to bike ride to the bakery for sweets 😅
@@theAnnabelle2012 I totally get it. Watched climbing in the Olympics and was fascinated. I have learned to "embrace the phase". I´m in my mid-fifties now and my sports have changed over the years. What is interesting though is that through years of hyperfocused training I can reactivate any sport since the skills don´t get lost completely over time. It´s fun to reconnect with old loves.
For me, a former personal trainer with a bachelor degree, I just don’t enjoy exercisers much or find it as rewarding as sitting around playing games or watching media.
Oh man, I wish I had you as a friend and you lived near me. It may sound weird or maybe creepy but every time I watch your videos you sound so much like me. I finally found someone who has similar struggles as me. I often feel so alien and alone but watching your vlogs helps me feel like I'm not really alone. Thanks so much for being you. You are such an inspiration to this Canadian brain 😉
Thank you for being strong enough to show your real emotional struggles with these topics, it's really what makes your channel stand out.
This really resonates with me on an ADHD level and also a disability level. What you said about having enough resources to break down the barriers... That in itself is SO hard and creates that shame cycle and it feels overwhelming to know what barrier to break down first, when you have the bare minimum of resources.
How are you doing hope you're safe over there?
@@pollackmorgan3149 I'm doing well and I'm safe - thank you for asking
@@juliedew6669 Where are you from if I may ask?
You are a legend these videos have helped me so much I have ADHD with brain damage and trauma so I find the symptoms harder at times. Thank you so much.
I loved sports growing up, but I was cursed with being the "most improved" on every team I was on. The swim team example spoke to me, cause I was pretty good at the breast stroke, but I couldn't compete in most others cause I never figured out how to flip and turn (and using the wrong turn method is a DQ). Uncoordinated, and particularly short for my age until I hit puberty when I finally caught up in the height department, but was already so discouraged that I had quit most extracurriculars. It definitely comes through when I consider things like amateur leagues or signing up for a race. I like to keep things informal so I can brush off any failures as "whatever, I wasn't really competing." Even though I'm naturally very competitive, and love competing.
Can I just say how nice it is to see a person doing exercise and not be the perfect and flawlessly graceful trainers I see in the videos I use? It makes me feel a lot better!
Thanks!
ohhh thank you so much!! Appreciate the support :D
@@HowtoADHD right back at ya! 😁
Yes!!! I did ballet for most of my life, and that was a very structured way to get exercise and it was exiting and fun as a kid. Until we had to actually practice, and get serious about it. I could not do that. I was the funny one, I was only okay at dancing, and I didn't want to try because I thought I could never be as good as the other people in my dance classes. Getting my own motivation to exercise has always been quite a struggle. Even if I did not have chronic pain, getting myself up, and feeding myself well enough to have the energy I need is very difficult for me. Thank you for showing how adhders can have the brain desire to exercise, but the brain ability to get there is harder
I danced ballet for years as a kid. I loved it as an artform but got sick of the strict norms and competitiveness (I was 8!) The boys ballet class got to practice acrobatics and tap dancing. I couldn't understand why the girls didn't get to try that as well.
I appreciate that you mentioned that we might not even realize that something is acting as a barrier. I finally realized this was a thing when I took meds the first time. Knowing that my brain is a little sneaker who like to change the topic rather than think about what's getting in the way of doing something was a revelation.
A big thing that helped me was making a habit of doing some "bare minimum" that I set for myself. For example I've one from 285lbs down to 240s now. I have further to go and most of that is the result of diet but I still formed the habit of picking my 3 days to workout that week during the first session. I still have trouble with motivation but I feel like my discipline is helping keep the habit. It feels weird now if I "skip" a day
That is great insight! Thank you for sharing, and congratulations!
This "bare minimum" idea is powerful. I did something similar. Over the last year I picked a bare minimum of 10 minutes alternating between walking and running every 2 minutes. If I felt like going a couple minutes longer, I would. If I wanted to work out after, I would. But none of that extra was required.
The key is giving yourself permission to do only that minimum. Even if you don't feel like doing any of it, just push through that little bit and you will still have that sense of accomplishment that comes from keeping a daily routine.
When I was going to the gym, I would have a bare minimum goal, an actual goal, and a stretch goal every day that I went. I need to get back to that, even though my exercise is walking and running with the dog and yoga in my living room instead of going to the gym.
I like this concept. Thanks for sharing captain. I'll add to this though by saying that a secondary mantra could be added to this.
"Something is better than nothing"
@@GabesHacks the trick is to keep raising the bar and making the minimum higher as you go
I personally find Cycling, especially Mountain Biking, to be one of the best solutions to exercise with ADHD, beyond that, I find it to be incredibly therapeutic. It boosts my daily focus and helps me sleep well. The weeks I don’t ride, everything starts to fall apart.
Omg, I'm so glad I saw this comment! My therapist told me that lots of people with ADHD likes cycling for some reason, myself included :) for me it's just constantly new things, new scenes, challenging hills, technical sections etc.
I find anything that requires less decision making and more automatic/subconscious movements are good. I used to play a lot of soccer and required lots of practice to remember the sequence of movement so that I could do it subconsciously.
-move one muscle at a time and practice it again again.
-cycling movement is basically the same movement repeated.
@@DavidDcruz The other plus I will give cycling is that even if I get bored while doing it, 10 miles from home is still 10 miles from home and I don't have a choice but to finish at that point LOL.
I find this hilarious because I just bought myself a stationary bike as I just enjoy it a lot in a gym but work really long hours. There's something about doing one motion consistently that is actually cathartic.
Mountain biking has been great for me, too, but I haven't been able to do it lately because of a radial nerve issue that biking on trails flares. I want to set up my smart trainer and my bike because I enjoy using sufferfest as a workout to see what stats I can improve (sprinting, climbing, ect.), but it's cleaning up a corner of my room to set it up that I'm struggling with.
My daughter is diagnosed with adhd. This channel helps me to understand her better. She can’t watch it herself because english isn’t our language but I find it very very helpful.
I have ADHD as well. Interestingly enough, I've actually had a completely different relationship with sports and exercise throughout my life. I would say, sports have always been where I excelled at, whether it were team or individual. In fact, I often used sports as an escape from the struggles I would face in school and in my social life in general due to ADHD and depression. Being different didn't matter as much anymore when you were considered one of the best athletes at your school. Today, I still use sports and exercise as one of my primary coping mechanisms.
If anyone was wondering I played soccer and football competitively and would play tennis, workout, and run for leisure.
The honesty and clarity with which Jess speaks is so inspiring and helps so much to understand so many aspects of the condition. Keep up the awesome work
Jessica, please don't ever stop making these videos. They are really touching, I legit cried watching this. I know exactly how you feel...I'm great at a lot of stuff except for anything that requires coordination. It's embarrassing but I'm slowly but surely building up my confidence. I was just diagnosed last year at the age of 28 and my son has been diagnosed at age 7. I'm so glad we can treat his sooner and we have already seen a huge improvement in our whole family since myself and my son both started treatment. Your videos helped us decide to finally treat our son's ADHD and made me feel better about myself seeing other women who are a lot like me! :)
This video is one of the ones that hit me the hardest. I have faced so many of the same issues growing up throughout my life and spent my childhood/teenage years "accepting" that I was not an active kid, spending all my attention on classwork so that I could graduate. I've been heavy my whole life and dealt with body image issues for nearly just as long. In adulthood, I finally reached a place where I am comfortable with my own appearance but due to various stresses including (especially) this pandemic, I've reached a point where I'm uncomfortable in my body and I feel too young to be feeling this way. Working out or coming up with an exercise plan is always such a struggle for me and I always end up planning more than doing, setting my expectations too high and failing every time. Thank you so much for making this video and sharing your experiences, it means so much to people like me and I feel encouraged and motivated to try again so I can get back to feeling comfortable moving in my own body. ♥
i’m so glad to know that i’m not the only one who feels this way about being uncoordinated!! thanks for making me feel like someone understand me❤️❤️
Hi! Wow, I have been watching your videos for a while. I was never diagnosed with ADHD as a child, because I never showed the "hyperactivity" symptoms that many expect from us, but yeah, I do definitely have ADHD. The main thing that resonates with me SO MUCH in this video that actually brought me to tears was the part of feeling like a failure if you do not get something right the first time. I think that, along with the impulsivity of always wanting to try something new, like WOW, that is not a good combination. I recently (finally) joined a gym, and I've gone once and it was nice (apart from me trying EVERY SINGLE MACHINE and having a sore body for 3 days afterwards) I am struggling with that barrier of "what if I am busy exercising/looking after myself/putting me first and someone is looking for me while I don't necessarily check my phone?", and then my mind goes on this spiral that just leaves me so guilty for wanting to go work out. I don't know if anyone else experiences this...
I started doing Crossfit a year ago. And it combines a lot of aspects that work well for ADHD. Coaching, social pressure, competition, and structure!
I just want to thank you for everything you do. Showing your vulnerabilities to the world helps us relate. At times it's easy to dismiss other's success when you view them as perfectly put together, so of course you'll never be able to succeed. Hearing your struggles gives hope that we can do it too.
You are part of the reason why I reached out to my doctor to start the conversation on mental health and adhd, and I now have a focused path of improvement :)
Also who's cuttin' onions in here?
I related so hard to everything you said. I've found a bit of shelter with running, and I just recently finished my first marathon! I was so incredibly proud of that, not because I ran 26 miles, but because for 4 months I got myself to regularly get my training in. Because I was able to advocate for myself with family and friends, because I asked for help, and I stuck with something that I cared about. The validation that finishing gave me, and mental stability that my workouts gave me was incredible. Thank you so much for making this videos
I had a similar positive experience training for a half marathon. Incredible confidence building, even though I was injured a month before the run and I walk the last 8 miles. Still, so proud of myself. Good for you Africa Cordova! You are a badass :)
I've seen your videos here and there, and finally realized I hadn't clicked the 'subscribe' button yet. Being 38, ADD and ADHD weren't really things in the 80's, when my mom took me to see some people to find out what was 'wrong' with me. Their prognosis? 'You're kid is just...really, really hyper, sorry about that.' I've never been formally diagnosed, but after watching a lot of your videos, I'm going to set up an appointment and see what options I have to manage it. I mean, I'm 38 and my life isn't in shambles, so I can clearly manage my brain but...man, it hasn't been an easy time. Thanks for making these videos and helping me see that seeking medical attention for something I've always been told is 'just in my head' isn't a bad thing to do.
I’ve been dealing with this recently, I used to go to the gym 5 days a week and got in great shape and the Covid hit. Now I can barely get my head screwed on enough to just put on exercise clothes. Thank you for this video!
Have ADHD and absolutely love sports, exercise, lifting weights, training, going till failure, etc!!
Thank you for bringing up sensory issues. Working out makes me extremely itchy; I just have to push through it to get where I want to be.