They will devalue, undermine and belittle when given the chance. However, only you can give them the chance and it will be within your power to take it away. Your natural happiness and empathetic nature is everything they want for themselves but cannot have because they are disordered. You are confronting them with the knowledge of what they should be and it destroys them. That is why they try to destroy you. These are vile people to be kept away from. Karma will do its work. Great video-thank you.
I was extremely naive when the narcissists approached me and faked friendship in order to get data that was subsequently used against me to destroy my self-worth.
It's EXACTLY like a drug addiction. As a former substance abuser, the addiction cycle is one I'm very familiar with. The feeling of everything being right with the world when you're high (getting positive reinforcement/affection/attention), to when you're out of said substance and in withdrawal, feeling depressed, unmotivated, inability to function normally, etc (negative reinforcement/devaluation/being ignored/neglected). What I couldn't understand while I was in the relationship was WHY I felt myself going through this cycle with this person. I didn't understand how I could be addicted to a person at all. I thought something was seriously wrong with me. I understand now that they completely hijacked my biochemical systems through their behavior. That is something I never want to experience ever again. I'm proud of my sobriety, and how far I've come since. That in itself was a slap to the face.
7:15 Narc frequently said to me, "You'll never find another " The last time she said it, I replied, "..and you'll never find another The abuses escalated, and eventually I asked her to leave my home, after 11 years together she didn't think I had the strength. She did find new supply, but he is weak sauce and that relationship is ending after barely a year. I expect she'll try again to hoover me, and she'll be rejected once again.
Thank you for a brilliant video Christina. Narcisists are difficult people, they make life difficult and it feels like carrying the load of the world on your shoulders, they will find a problem for every solution. Narcisists will extinguish your passions and your interest, they will minimize , devalue and invalidate everything you are and like, when you meet oppositional and difficult people who make your life complicated, confused and hard to manage - it is a sure sigh you have met a toxic person that you should avoid at all costs.
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This You Are Absolutely Right. I Became Addicted To The Narcissist Approval.Chasing His Acceptance. Only Getting Used Belittled And Called Hideous Disrespectful Names. I Was Discarded Cruelly Like Trash.I’m Struggling To Go On With My Life. Narcissistic abuse is Brutal
It really is! I know how painful it is, and I'm so sorry your going through this. Take this time to treat yourself to everything that makes you happy because you are special and deserve to be treated well with love and respect. We both know a narcissist could never really love or respect us.
Yep. The baiting. The passive aggression. The outright rage fits. The coercive control. Etc. Etc. But ! In a while you may ask yourself...what a damn relief. Health gets better, outlook gets better....EVERYTHING gets better. I asked myself what in the hell was that ? It's subjugation malevolently imposed...until the day, yours or theirs you, go your own way, In peace and abundance. Sometimes their kickstarting you into narc free land is a gift. 🤜🤛. .
It really is confusing. The guy I am with is great until he feels challenged. Then, he is traumatizing. For the most part, he doesn't insult me. But, when he feels challenged, he is the most insulting person. He is very thin skinned and I attribute this to possibly some abandonment issues. So, early on, one of the first times I stayed overnight with him...I woke up at around 8 or 9 on a Saturday morning and happily went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee. Next thing I know, he is up and very irritated that I was up. He started getting dressed and said, well, I'll go to work I GUESS....I was confused and tried to reassure him I was just doing what I normally do on a weekend and wasn't leaving....but no...I was in the black. I was so shocked. After that, I felt uncomfortable to get up. Like I HAD to stay in bed, even if I wanted to get my day started. He basically told me that was abnormal to get up that early on a saturday...so I was abnormal.
Run away. They deny, deflect, attack, manipulate, spin, and control. From what you wrote, it sounds like you're making excuses for and trying to sooth him? You'll never reach the goal post as they keep moving them out of your reach. The sooner you leave, the less traumatic will be your recovery. Usually Googling the "abnormal" leads you to narcissism and if it's the key that fits all the puzzling locks, unchain yourself from a person who leaves you feeling unsafe.
A new 'friend' asking me on the spot 'can you come round for dinner tonight' = embarrassing to say 'no'. I always give people a choice with an invitation - let me know, give me a ring, etc. I was lonely and just said 'fine' - big mistake - made myself far too available. Got out, but not without difficulty. I let myself down by being silent by her embarrassing behaviour in public, or humiliating her husband in company. Fear got the better of me and I became an enabler to her bad behaviour
The "friend" self harms her face feet and now her legs 🤔... thankfully I'm out of the toxicity, I'm grieving my Gorgeous Mum, it doesn't matter to that person, I'll never understand these sick people Thank you very much. Peace & love from the 🇬🇧 💞
Love that your putting more videos out. It's been really hard to find people out here that understand. I don't have a lot of healthy people in my life anymore so going down this road feels very lonely and confusing. Thanks for making it a little bit easier and understanding that not everyone can just up and leave a situation like this. Listening to you feels like I have a very understanding friend in my corner. Also I enjoy listening to your very calming voice. Thanks girl ❤
Christina... you just hit different than the rest! Idk if it's the sound of your voice, your delivery, or the calming, battle-tested, knowledgeable demeanor that pushes through the screen... but your messages resonates deep in my Spirit. Sincerely. I've listened to alot of Helpers in this Narc community... and when I 1st heard you...idk it just seems very knowledgeable, clean, clear and safe. And on this Journey on Recovery and Self Healing it's imperative you seek guidance from a credible Source. This video for example "Self Betrayal... Betraying Yourself". Just the way you put it... yes the narc manipulation tactics and all that stuff they did to us (while we didn't have the education) to disarm us to the point we lost ourselves... that's majority of the fight back... but to me one of the harder battles is that..."i betrayed myself"...i didn't listen to my inner me. Now 10yrs of hell and a discard later and i found the channels and education and the tools after. Could have moved mountains if i had the info in that torment... but ya know how it goes. But hearing your video today...Betraying Yourself...Christina you hit different. You rarely hear others identify that. And it's TRUE. At some point i betrayed and abandoned myself in and over that circumstance. NOW i have to forgive and repair that relationship within myself, ontop of the discovering childhood wombs, self-love, boundaries setting etc - the whole narc repel armor. But it's important to identify and do the work. Christina keep challenging and arming us by putting out great informative content. Keep fighting the good fight... you are a Blessing that's literally Saving Lives. Thank you SenSei for all that you do. 👍🏼💪🏾🙏🙌🌹🌷⚘
Great video... You are a true leader in this community that I am glad that exists.. However, I wish it did not have to exist. Kinda like how you talk about suppressed wants needs and desires that we did to ourselves. We were deceived that is why we did it to our selves. They think Cuz, we allowed it we are weak and they are strong. And so we deserved the abuse. We suffer their consequences and ours they know this.
This happened to me. 1st) Love-bombing - later, started to be devalued. " You're bald , ( I shave my head tho) your overweight ( I'm not obese) and she stated I can't afford her
😢confirmation the NAC work alot of head on us but Hod I got away you said it all. He never believed in me making me feel something wrong with me. When is to invest in career he says something bad i can't do it. Everytime I help the poor with my ministry he against me helping vulnerable people. You said it all. He wants me be mean as him
This is JUST the video I needed. It resonates 100% with me. Thank you! I keep watching it... You have the best channel on narcissism & one of the most calming/soothing voices which really soothes my anxiety.
Ditto ... her "personality" is just too large for my "tender heart" ... In other words, I have the audacity to occasionally ask her to own her inappropriate behavior.
Wow! Adopted my daughter 30+ years ago. All of it has been challenging to say the least. Started to research her symptoms recently and discovered she's a narcissist! I always believed that is someone who is just full of themselves. But it is soooo much more than that. It's probable that she has the inherited gene. Additionally she was removed from her bio parents because a lack of attachment and she sure had t early trauma as she was sexually abused. Both of these things are attributed to narcissist personality. I'm done at this point and have disconnected. Thank you so very much for your videos. They are extremely helpful.
She hated me for finishing every piece of food from my plate. It's so pettie and dumb. She would fixate on certain things for weeks, before changing to something else and the cycle starts all over. She hated when I worked out, hated my artwork, and hated my motorcycle. She hates anything that takes time away from her.
Our last argument , out of nowhere insulted my friends, and she said, you don't want to talk to me because I am smarter than you. I had to use the bathroom, that's all.
This is what I'm going through and this is so true I told him I'm going to leave you because you promise promise promise I told him he promised me a car and when he bought me a car he's throwing it at my face things are happening to my car I just don't want it no more so now I'm silent I don't listen to him😢
Focus on the things that bring you joy. Surround yourself with supportive people. Above all, cut ties with the narcissist & their supporters/suppliers. Also rid yourself of all reminders of that “person” & the things that remind you of them. You are worth it & You matter.
What should I say.. in this relationship first my mother as born, then my real father at 21, and for 7 years my narcissistic abusive husband, all of them had innate narcissistic tendencies.. will I survive
➡️ DOWNLOAD THE FREE CHECKLIST HERE: www.commonego.com/checklist
Cute doggo :) @ 11:20-11:25
Narcissists never really win, even if they discard you. At the end of the day, they never get to experience love and connection.
They will devalue, undermine and belittle when given the chance. However, only you can give them the chance and it will be within your power to take it away. Your natural happiness and empathetic nature is everything they want for themselves but cannot have because they are disordered. You are confronting them with the knowledge of what they should be and it destroys them. That is why they try to destroy you. These are vile people to be kept away from. Karma will do its work. Great video-thank you.
Very well said. 100% accurate.
Wow. Yes, thank you.
Yes ✌🏼💜🙏🏼
Run from these people 💃🏽
I was extremely naive when the narcissists approached me and faked friendship in order to get data that was subsequently used against me to destroy my self-worth.
It's EXACTLY like a drug addiction. As a former substance abuser, the addiction cycle is one I'm very familiar with. The feeling of everything being right with the world when you're high (getting positive reinforcement/affection/attention), to when you're out of said substance and in withdrawal, feeling depressed, unmotivated, inability to function normally, etc (negative reinforcement/devaluation/being ignored/neglected). What I couldn't understand while I was in the relationship was WHY I felt myself going through this cycle with this person. I didn't understand how I could be addicted to a person at all. I thought something was seriously wrong with me. I understand now that they completely hijacked my biochemical systems through their behavior. That is something I never want to experience ever again. I'm proud of my sobriety, and how far I've come since. That in itself was a slap to the face.
I’ve dealt with the toxic hope for a long time
Confronting the fear and taking accountability for my Self Worth, is my challenge.
7:15 Narc frequently said to me, "You'll never find another " The last time she said it, I replied, "..and you'll never find another The abuses escalated, and eventually I asked her to leave my home, after 11 years together she didn't think I had the strength. She did find new supply, but he is weak sauce and that relationship is ending after barely a year. I expect she'll try again to hoover me, and she'll be rejected once again.
Try co-parenting with these creeps - never keep promises, poison the kids, etc. And you can't say a word.
Thank you for a brilliant video Christina. Narcisists are difficult people, they make life difficult and it feels like carrying the load of the world on your shoulders, they will find a problem for every solution. Narcisists will extinguish your passions and your interest, they will minimize , devalue and invalidate everything you are and like, when you meet oppositional and difficult people who make your life complicated, confused and hard to manage - it is a sure sigh you have met a toxic person that you should avoid at all costs.
It has been 18 months and I'm still feeling the effects. These people leave scars and will come come back when things inevitably dry up for them.
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This You Are Absolutely Right.
I Became Addicted To The Narcissist Approval.Chasing His Acceptance.
Only Getting Used Belittled And Called Hideous Disrespectful Names.
I Was Discarded Cruelly Like Trash.I’m Struggling To Go On With My Life.
Narcissistic abuse is Brutal
It really is! I know how painful it is, and I'm so sorry your going through this. Take this time to treat yourself to everything that makes you happy because you are special and deserve to be treated well with love and respect. We both know a narcissist could never really love or respect us.
@@The_green_zebra
Thank You So Very Much You Are Absolutely Right
Yep. The baiting. The passive aggression. The outright rage fits. The coercive control. Etc. Etc. But ! In a while you may ask yourself...what a damn relief. Health gets better, outlook gets better....EVERYTHING gets better. I asked myself what in the hell was that ? It's subjugation malevolently imposed...until the day, yours or theirs you, go your own way, In peace and abundance. Sometimes their kickstarting you into narc free land is a gift. 🤜🤛.
.
It really is confusing. The guy I am with is great until he feels challenged. Then, he is traumatizing. For the most part, he doesn't insult me. But, when he feels challenged, he is the most insulting person. He is very thin skinned and I attribute this to possibly some abandonment issues. So, early on, one of the first times I stayed overnight with him...I woke up at around 8 or 9 on a Saturday morning and happily went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee. Next thing I know, he is up and very irritated that I was up. He started getting dressed and said, well, I'll go to work I GUESS....I was confused and tried to reassure him I was just doing what I normally do on a weekend and wasn't leaving....but no...I was in the black. I was so shocked. After that, I felt uncomfortable to get up. Like I HAD to stay in bed, even if I wanted to get my day started. He basically told me that was abnormal to get up that early on a saturday...so I was abnormal.
Run away. They deny, deflect, attack, manipulate, spin, and control. From what you wrote, it sounds like you're making excuses for and trying to sooth him? You'll never reach the goal post as they keep moving them out of your reach. The sooner you leave, the less traumatic will be your recovery. Usually Googling the "abnormal" leads you to narcissism and if it's the key that fits all the puzzling locks, unchain yourself from a person who leaves you feeling unsafe.
A new 'friend' asking me on the spot 'can you come round for dinner tonight' = embarrassing to say 'no'. I always give people a choice with an invitation - let me know, give me a ring, etc. I was lonely and just said 'fine' - big mistake - made myself far too available. Got out, but not without difficulty. I let myself down by being silent by her embarrassing behaviour in public, or humiliating her husband in company. Fear got the better of me and I became an enabler to her bad behaviour
The "friend" self harms her face feet and now her legs 🤔... thankfully I'm out of the toxicity, I'm grieving my Gorgeous Mum, it doesn't matter to that person, I'll never understand these sick people
Thank you very much. Peace & love from the 🇬🇧 💞
*Respect & Gratitude
For All of Your Authentic Validation and Support.
Helping Folk Trust Themselves 💞
Love that your putting more videos out. It's been really hard to find people out here that understand. I don't have a lot of healthy people in my life anymore so going down this road feels very lonely and confusing. Thanks for making it a little bit easier and understanding that not everyone can just up and leave a situation like this. Listening to you feels like I have a very understanding friend in my corner. Also I enjoy listening to your very calming voice. Thanks girl ❤
Christina... you just hit different than the rest! Idk if it's the sound of your voice, your delivery, or the calming, battle-tested, knowledgeable demeanor that pushes through the screen... but your messages resonates deep in my Spirit. Sincerely. I've listened to alot of Helpers in this Narc community... and when I 1st heard you...idk it just seems very knowledgeable, clean, clear and safe. And on this Journey on Recovery and Self Healing it's imperative you seek guidance from a credible Source. This video for example "Self Betrayal... Betraying Yourself". Just the way you put it... yes the narc manipulation tactics and all that stuff they did to us (while we didn't have the education) to disarm us to the point we lost ourselves... that's majority of the fight back... but to me one of the harder battles is that..."i betrayed myself"...i didn't listen to my inner me. Now 10yrs of hell and a discard later and i found the channels and education and the tools after. Could have moved mountains if i had the info in that torment... but ya know how it goes. But hearing your video today...Betraying Yourself...Christina you hit different. You rarely hear others identify that. And it's TRUE. At some point i betrayed and abandoned myself in and over that circumstance. NOW i have to forgive and repair that relationship within myself, ontop of the discovering childhood wombs, self-love, boundaries setting etc - the whole narc repel armor. But it's important to identify and do the work. Christina keep challenging and arming us by putting out great informative content. Keep fighting the good fight... you are a Blessing that's literally Saving Lives. Thank you SenSei for all that you do. 👍🏼💪🏾🙏🙌🌹🌷⚘
Great video... You are a true leader in this community that I am glad that exists.. However, I wish it did not have to exist. Kinda like how you talk about suppressed wants needs and desires that we did to ourselves. We were deceived that is why we did it to our selves. They think Cuz, we allowed it we are weak and they are strong. And so we deserved the abuse. We suffer their consequences and ours they know this.
This happened to me. 1st) Love-bombing - later, started to be devalued. " You're bald , ( I shave my head tho) your overweight ( I'm not obese) and she stated I can't afford her
Thank you. You seem like a genuine soul.
It’s uncanny how they all know how to do this
Is there some type of twisted playbook they have as a reference?
Seems so, doesn’t it? 🙏❤️
Sure does. It’s unbelievable
This is so true Christina, so many cuts really adds up and the mental abuse really hurts the worse.
Thank you so much for all the help. I did get away. Just so text book
😢confirmation the NAC work alot of head on us but Hod I got away you said it all. He never believed in me making me feel something wrong with me. When is to invest in career he says something bad i can't do it. Everytime I help the poor with my ministry he against me helping vulnerable people. You said it all. He wants me be mean as him
This is JUST the video I needed. It resonates 100% with me. Thank you!
I keep watching it...
You have the best channel on narcissism & one of the most calming/soothing voices which really soothes my anxiety.
She told me once - " I'm too sensitive and needy" .... She's always the victim, something was really wrong here ..... John
Ditto ... her "personality" is just too large for my "tender heart" ... In other words, I have the audacity to occasionally ask her to own her inappropriate behavior.
My self esteem is so low. I've never been in this bad of state in my life. I hate the fact i've dated one for so long
Wow! Adopted my daughter 30+ years ago. All of it has been challenging to say the least. Started to research her symptoms recently and discovered she's a narcissist! I always believed that is someone who is just full of themselves. But it is soooo much more than that. It's probable that she has the inherited gene. Additionally she was removed from her bio parents because a lack of attachment and she sure had t early trauma as she was sexually abused. Both of these things are attributed to narcissist personality. I'm done at this point and have disconnected. Thank you so very much for your videos. They are extremely helpful.
She's guilted me for having company over and eating dinner " oh - Im starving and your feeding your neighbor" Condensending
She hated me for finishing every piece of food from my plate. It's so pettie and dumb. She would fixate on certain things for weeks, before changing to something else and the cycle starts all over. She hated when I worked out, hated my artwork, and hated my motorcycle. She hates anything that takes time away from her.
They really think, they are doing you a favor? Jesus
Like how they mock and antagonize artists
Our last argument , out of nowhere insulted my friends, and she said, you don't want to talk to me because I am smarter than you. I had to use the bathroom, that's all.
One by one these videos are giving me my sanity back, thankyou.
One time - we were walking around at a Carnival, she said " don't say my name out loud in public" what???
This is what I'm going through and this is so true I told him I'm going to leave you because you promise promise promise I told him he promised me a car and when he bought me a car he's throwing it at my face things are happening to my car I just don't want it no more so now I'm silent I don't listen to him😢
Hey Christina!! 😍♥️
Hi Pete 🙏❤️
I knew this video was going to be all about me.
watch out for that tiger behind youuuuu!
Give up hope these people have HUGE problems
She also embarrassed me at a local bar - Quote " I'm not sleeping next to you anymore, you sweat too much, sometimes toss and turn" Jesus
How do I reconnect with myself,? I feel like a shell of myself. After being gaslighted.
Focus on the things that bring you joy. Surround yourself with supportive people. Above all, cut ties with the narcissist & their supporters/suppliers. Also rid yourself of all reminders of that “person” & the things that remind you of them. You are worth it & You matter.
What should I say.. in this relationship first my mother as born, then my real father at 21, and for 7 years my narcissistic abusive husband, all of them had innate narcissistic tendencies.. will I survive
7:21 😶
She's claims she's Bi-polar/ but I really think she's a co-vert Narasissist. She's always trying to get attention, she' thinks I'm ignoring her.
A question! How can I White to You private , to ask a you a question?