Should I Marry Someone I Don't Love? | The School of Adam Saleh
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- To put it differently, is acting on impulse, blinded by love, really the cleverest way of choosing the person we will be with forever? Adam Saleh, best known for his hip-hop music videos and online pranks, is a member of the dating app generation. But, as a native New Yorker of Yemeni heritage, everyone else in his family has had an arranged marriage. Now, aged 25, Adam finds out if it’s time to wave goodbye to the lure of physical attraction and short-term excitement, and open the door to logic by having an arranged marriage himself.
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On a separate note I have mad respect for Adam. He was brought up in project housing but worked hard and eventually moved his whole family to a big house in a good suburb. He is a good kid.
MilesAndHeights
I agree
MilesAndHeights true
Adam calls the muslim women he sleeps with for sisters... makes me sick!
@@BenSamara Did he really do it, lol when ? I have not heard him say someth like dat
Ben Samara and you know this from where????? Did you see him doing that? Did he tell you he does all that? Are you with him 24/7 to know what he does? You know him from where???? Exactly. You should STFU and stop spreading lies about someone you know nothing about.
Hold up he never told us this
Jrizpy right
Jrizpy is this real
fr
Mαɾƙ lies
yep
What the heck 😳 am i the only one that didn't know about this episode thing🤔
Nuxsha Othman you ain’t the only one lol
Nuxsha Othman me too
Nuxsha Othman no you're not alone
me to🤦🏻♂️
Nope
6
8:51 I like how everyone is frozen except for his dad😂
Shit that moment though
The woman in the hijab next to adams dad is moving a little bit too
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
who else is able to watch this without UA-cam Premium?
its just one free episode
ME
why can i watch lots of their episode without having premium ?
Wa Eil magic
SAME!
I think what the video's trying to say is that people often find their "loved ones" based on desires, having fun together. But a marriage requires job compatibility, value compatibility, lifestyle compatibility, and how eager you are to forgive and compromise. It is a mixture of love and responsibility. Couples need to get real and consider what it will be like to live with a person for the rest of their lives, going through hardships and illnesses together, recovering from fights, making big decisions together... all that could be easier if you are assigned to a stranger and you could be objective and rational, like working at the office. Instead, with someone we love, we often become a child, expecting the other half to take care of us emotionally like our mothers, which is harmful and toxic. so, in order for us folks that want to select our partner, a lesson would be that we need to be more pragmatic and rational in times of a relationship, and expect to give more and take less.
well beeing rational is not allways the cure. Who do you trust more a beloved friend you naturally synergize with or a coworker you where logically assined to?
Trust is crutial for a fulfilling relationship.
And people who know they soon die usually regret not having spent more time with their loved ones and not with coworkers.
People who dont feel sexual or emotional desire towards their sexual partner(wife/ husband) obviously desire to have sex with someone else who they truely desire. Not having a fulfilling sexual life can bring any marriage to the edge.
If you force your self to make compromises in order to fit in with someone else you will get resentful which leads to inefficiency, emotional blockages, less synergy or even subconsiously caused acts of revenge which may spiral into hurtful cycles. Beeing authentic and doing what you truely want is much more attractive.
@@marvinschenker2860 yes i agree with ur point. And thats what make a stable longlasting relationship so hard: it requires the two of the people to not only physically attracted to each other, but also committed to be faithful, while having the need to cooperate well to handle a lot of challenges in life, e.g. raising child, paying rents, making major life decisions etc. In order to make it work. It is like finding a good friend , a good co-worker, and also an attractive sexual partner in the same person
No, this video is saying what it's saying
Who’s only watching because of Adam
👇🏼
Thank you so much for 2243 likes!! I’ve never got this much.
Adoomy gang is strong!
Me I am!
Aisha Hussain look at his most recent video
me and everyone that are a fans of adam saleh
me
Me too adoomy gang yerrrrr
I would never have guessed this collaboration would be coming
تستهبل
Adam: I am 25
Me: *correction* 26
Issa Addoais ig it was filmed when he was 25
@@pepperscrevices6203 it was uploaded in October 2019 and he turned 26 in June so he filmed this 7 months or more ago?
Issa Addoais probably lol
Issa Addoais yea lol
@@AlexxChris that's most shows. They edit the show after filiming which takes a while before releasing
I love how he twerked on the dress😂😭 that’s so adam
Dareen Jenny dumb tho
Ikr hahaha
Adam still likes to be savage no matter wht age we all have kids heart when we r adulthood
Ratchetttt
eternal W crusade ?
I thought he really got married and was like mabrooouk lol
Nadia Sparkling is he not married
Wait is he not?
Wat Dafuk he’s not
Nadia Sparkling
مبرروووووك ابن عارف
You spoiled my evening
That girl looked hella older than him
I was like gee she look at least 40 lol.
@@ThebigGametDad dumb? She's maybe 30 something but definitely not 40
@@gamingparadise3390 am just exaggerating..
At least she's a sweetheart , respect your opinion 😔
She has a beakon her also
He's attitude is killer 💚💚💚 . Every one like him .
I remember them filming this but i didn't know when it was going to be released..this video randomly popped up in my recommendation
Wait adam salleh???? In school of life!!!!!
Why not!
Why not? 🤬
Spelt his name wrong tf
Yea
I think that “love marriage” gets a bad rep. It was never about sex, “beauty”, or children. It was about having the freedom to meet someone and see if you could like them enough to spend the rest of your life with them. To see if they were appropriate for you. Share the same values.
The key is : having the SAME VISION
Could you maybe elaborate what having the "same vision" means?
wanheda wanting the same things in life. Working together...
Honesly Im against "same vision" because if someone chooses a wrong decision other will chooses same decision as well without correcting each other.
DUDE. If you have glasses and date a girl with no glasses, like, she will be all up in your shit.
Yeah as if getting with someone for eternity would make them automatically still to change and their vision wouldn't develope with time. People change, values change and they would have to grow apart one day
I think arranged marriage last longer just because it comes from a culture that doesn't allow to divorce easily, and really encourages people to stay married. And in the west a lot of people marry as if it was a fashion thing
Exactly.
Not really. It just allows you to be logical before emotional, my marriage wasn’t ‘arranged’ but I didn’t date either. I had a matchmaker situation if you know what I mean
I'm a Muslim and even I agree with this. I have seen lots of times where people in those cultures stay married unhappily just because divorce is so frowned upon. If a person is even divorced, it is as though they are looked at in a bad way.
@Albina T But since when do you know who is logically the right one for you? Nobody knows that until they have been together a while And figure out, "Oh this is the perfect one for me." Sometimes things work out splendidly and other times it doesn't. It is all a game of chance with love and otherwise. So, to say you can just logically choose the right spouse.... That's not logical. But not trying to argue. So, don't take it as that. I'm just saying.
@Albina T I actually studied psychology and I agree. Love isn't enough. There needs to be communication, cooperation and compromise between both parties. However, that is why even choosing an arranged marriage doesn't mean you will be happy. From my personal experience, most people I've seen with arranged marriages end up just unhappy, but don't want to divorce simply because of the stigma in their culture about people who divorce. So they remain in an unhappy marriage. Usually when it is a love marriage, the same can happen, though. A person can remain married just for the sake of loving that person. Therefore, not getting a divorce, but being very unhappy. That's why I said earlier ...either way it goes, you aren't guaranteed to be happy.
He explained this in his vlog he isn't married, they just used him in the video.
Waaryaahee farhan iska waran zxp 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣
He explained it here that it wasn't real
I thought this was real for a second. May Adam find the best lady for him, no matter in which way.
Donyella Lopez will you marry me? :P
@ΛCΞ jesus 😂 why the aggression 'merican
Hey @UA-cam you should edit the part where you show his house, those street signs shouldnt be shown. You are literally giving away his address to millions of people. Not cool. Please edit blur those street signs.
Good idea to write it in the comments for others that possibly didn't notice to see.
@@alban.dano.93 😂😂😂
Alban Dano Fuck you I can’t 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂
AwesomeMan2696 has
He’s address is already linked by slim
I was on edge the entire time but when the one guy said, "In the name of Mohammad." I knew something wasn't right. 😂
صلى الله عليه وسلم
Simply Myla K.
حسيت ان في شي غلط بس قلت يمكن الترجمه غير
@@toushiri9476 لم يكن هذا خطأ😂.
وكيف عرفت أنني أتكلم اللغة العربية؟😲
Simply Myla K. "أولاً من صورتك وثانياً من كلامك "صلى الله عليه وسلم
@@majestaec5018
اه! اللغة العربية هي لغتي الثانية. أنا أميركيه.
Simply Myla K. آه حقَّا؟ ماشالله على ذكائك 👍🏻😄
I have one advice for you Adam.
"Run"
It's a good one
kiyana akbari
😆🤣
Right 😂
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂 facts!
Honestly, even if it’s arranged marriage, there has to be personal preference over it.
If my parents had a successful arranged marriage, I would believe they can find best match for me. (unfortunately, they divorced after one year of marriage, arranged marriage these years doesn't guarantee a successful life-long relationship anymore)
"looks don't matter, the heart that matter" .... OMG I cry
They all say that. But once things get real. Everything changes.
If people thought this way they wouldnt be hitting the gym to get muscle and big booties. And plastic surgery and cosmetic businesses would go bankrupt.
I will tfttesaderyzqea is
it must be real easy getting into your pants
Islamically yes this is true. Compatibility kindess and Manners is very important. If she hot but has no soul it ain't gonna last she will just be like marble
Wow really cool vid I like it 🔥😍
I come from a culture where arrange marriages were normal. I’ve seen many couples stuck in unhappy marriages. If I were to go the traditional way and have an arranged marriage I wouldn’t be with my fiancé now who is the love of my life, my best friend and the one God chose for me. We wouldn’t have had our beautiful son and wouldn’t have our daughter on the way. Tomorrow isn’t promised for anyone and I wouldn’t miss a day in my life with my family for anyone or anything.
Good thing you married for love. So many people are stuck in unhappy marriages from arranged marriages
"Sexual passion doesn't last forever." I have a feeling this depends on the couple. I mean... when 34% of partners over the age of 70 still have sex at least once a week....I want to be in that number. Like Gomez and Morticia.
I was about to say: "But what if you can be happy without?" and then you dropped the Gomez and Morticia Bomb and I lost it 😂
People in the comments are like she's so ugly, but she is actually so damn pretty!! 😊
Nightmares Frightmares she’s an actor she’s indian
she ugly
Yeah she's pretty.
Guess that solves everything huh
@@beigi8637 how she's above a 7
Never have thought that these two channels would collab. Really refreshing though!
Marrying someone you don't love is NOT an ARRANGED marriage it is a FORCED marriage. There is a clear difference 🙄
I actually do agree with u bro like c'mon u r marrying someone u don't have any feeling for. N even now in arrange marriages people tend to have feelings for each other.
Unless yo really depends on a person definition of love
Not everyone has the same personality.
My parents got divorced like this arramged marriage
same
I think at the base of a working marriage (arranged or not) there is the concept of non-disposability. I think arranged marriages have this concept hard-wired in them because they only happen in conservative societies, highly judgmental of divorce. The more disposable the bond is, the less each person invests in the other, and things will then fall apart easily as problems in the couple arise and each person thinks "why bother? there's plenty of other fish in the sea". So the more open a society is (accepting of all sorts of relationship variations, divorce, hooking up, dating apps etc) the more each person is disposable as a partner, unless there is deep awareness. So my opinion is that for arranged marriages, correlation (with stability and higher long run satisfaction) does not mean causation.
Many prisoners in the United States come from backgrounds where their fathers were not around.
Wowww school of life has been reaching outtt
Fast paced short videos with the countdown to keep us engaged and encourged to keep listening
And adam salleh
cool!
It's very difficult to judge how successful the marriages of other cultures may be as people in other cultures may not be free to leave those marriages. Some are based on the idea that a woman's preferences aren't as important as a man's. In some cultures, the new bride becomes a Cinderella figure to be used ruthlessly by her in laws. In some cases, the marriage may work well. It's not helpful to idealise another culture or to denigrate it.
What people in those marriages don't tell you is how the people in the marriage are sometimes unhappy, and live so for years! Also, the amount of family interferences as well! I'm glad I can choose, some of these people hide too much of themselves, and there is a discovery, a very nasty discovery of who they really are! If some people knew how many arranged marriage people cheat and fall in love with someone outside of their so called "perfect" marriage. Something to think about, as growing to love someone does not work all the time.
Very well played. Saw this man a long time ago and was surprised at that time about his religious background. Thought provoking video, with a "prank" format. Thanks.
The only reason marriage worked better before was because it was harder for women to divorce, they were legally not allowed for the longest time or could not be financially sufficient.
Maybe in Europe. But in the muslim nations women were allowed to get divorce even 1400 yrs ago . People didn't saw that as a good thing bit it was allowed.
Wrong...... in most muslim nations women are becoming self seficient but if they remain true to their beliefs... they dont go for divorce..... because it is considered to be a most hateful act in the eyes of God
@@MNK_Games yes but if both are not happy they should get divorced
@@MNK_Games There is a reason why it's still HALAAL tho. If it was so bad it would be haram like adultery or lying.
Muaaz Ali- your so ignorant honestly, a women or man have the right to divorce if the marriage isn't working. Get your facts straight.
I loved this!! So entertaining! Here for my boy Adam ♥️💯
I agree bro.
Bro I saw you on twitter when someone said to upload more
Nonamus Gaming lol yeah I actually just uploaded the other day.
I got married after 2 months of meeting my companion in life.
We got 2 kids. And we have been married for 16 years now. And I really believe we will be together until the last day of our life. Life is not easy it have his high and low, but we are committed to our marriage and family, we love and Respect each other.
Wait, when they did get a chance to see whether they have shared beliefs and values in the arranged marriage? Also, the likelihood of the match they found would be the right one is lower than when you are dating, and you have a longer period to "test" the compatability.
When choosing a long-term partner, we should base our decision on both reason and feelings ideally. If we can learn to do that, we would be our best friend. I think if we learn to love ourselves most and base our decision on self-love first, then this would guide us in the right choice of someone who is good for us. But you still need time to really know a person, I would say at least a year. Also, we have to be preapred and accept that romantic feelings don't last and with time they will be replaced by a deeper kind of love, a companionship, which is a natural and healthy step of developing a relationship (and not end it after a few years thinking we have fallen out of love when the butterflies are gone).
Your mad
In India, arranged marriages are failing. Credential - my failed arranged marriage lasting 3 years. My friends' arranged marriages have failed too. It's nothing to do with having a love or arranged marriage. It's about practicality and compatibility.
Imam: “In the name of prophet Muhammad” “ your now married”😂 astagfirullah
أستغفر الله
That shows how Muslims ☪️ are not learning Islam
Ignorance
Don't know the difference bet محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم
And الله
Shame
Should be saying in the name of Allah
Or its a great sin
@@muhamednishab The name of Allah should be written with a capital letter
@@marouan9668 thanks for informing , wrote in a hurry
Ik lmao That’s shirk 😂😭 🤦♂️
Wait am I the only one who’s heart just dropped when they said “adam’s having an arranged marriage?”
Abe’s quotes of the day: “ it’s not about the looks, it’s about the heart” 👏👏
It’s a really simple and probably rational philosophy, however let’s be honest us Human beings are lustful creatures filled with desires as well as temptations so it’s really inevitable that for most it plays a pivotal role in looking for a partner. However, with that being said looks shouldn’t be the only factor we look for in a partner for sure, a key significant factor should definitely be someone’s personality, attitude, emotional intelligence, open mindedness, and overall how compatible they are with you. So in essence look for the best of both worlds, don’t sacrifice bad character, and personality for great looks!!!
abe is fucking retarded. that's why he didn't care who he marries. and he married his cousin.
@@shaanbullet Among Muslims, cousin marriage remains common and thought to be honorable.
Me, and my boyfriend found each other by emotion, but we’re happy together, don’t let your mom force you.
When we fell out of love in our relationship. I ended up taking the arranged marriage approach to keep the family together. What I noticed is that you only focus on what makes your partner happy regardless of how you feel. Then whatever your partner cant fulfill you fulfill yourself without breaking the rules. Vice versa. You both end up getting what you want. Then all of a sudden you are both happy. Go figure 😂
Some of the best advice I've ever read
I think marriages based on practicality/ arranged marriages can potentially be good idea - assuming the two partners have equal power in the relationship.
However I always find it annoying when you boast the « successfulness » of arranged marriages throughout the ages.
These marriages for hundreds of years have been firmly based in patriarchy - the women didn’t have much of a say through the marriage and if they left the marriage they would have been destitute. The men often had many mistresses so that’s why they were happy; however if the women was discovered having an affair that would be a big problem for her. This model of marriage that was so « successful » represents a big power imbalance.
Of course these marriages of power imbalance still exist today, and I don’t agree with them.
Of Adam Saleh is reading this he makes me smile he makes my life more easier he makes me happy even when I am stressed thank you Adam enjoy your Wedding
Arranged marriage/courting without dating is much more logical.
"successful throughout most of our history"
sure, when the quality of life was way lower.
Yeah they seem to overlook this point. People died younger, babies often didn't survive, social and financial structures were much more rigid, and overall people seldom had the choice of deciding the trajectory of their life.
Okay an arranged marriage makes sense... but imagine when your friend wants to have kids...
arranged marriages are more successful than love marriage sometimes and there’s nothing wrong with it. it really just depends on both individuals and families.
Well this sort of commitment is supposed to be selfless so yeah. And actually, so is love. So you're not wrong.
@banana aya playa Well considering how selfish and jaded most people are these days (especially in the West), it's no wonder it's seen as extreme as it is for those opposed to it. But if one takes out malicious people and intentions, it doesn't sound so horrible. Love isn't some feeble, fickle feeling. It's a heart commitment to someone you choose to care about. So that could work for someone you just met and were arranged to spend the rest of your life with.
banana aya playa pressure isn’t always the factor in arranged marriages. sometimes people get love marriages and it’s much more unsuccessful.
They stay together because of society/ family pressure/ kids future. Nothing else. In india it is very common to stay with arranged partner life long even though he/she turns out to be a sadist, incompatible, sexually impotent etc
I dont think such unhappy marriages as successful
In Europe and Japan, when arranged marriages amongst the elite were the norm, there were also higher rates and tolerance of emotional affairs, as it seems they were basically expected for satisfying peoples emotional desires. Perhaps a better a conclusion to draw is that people should think logically about what they want/need in a marriage to be happily married, and communicate/negotiate these with a relationship partner before a relationship gets too serious.
Modern marriage isnt about sexual passion. It is about marrying someone you have fallen in love with her soul and mind not her body. Only an idiot would marry someone based on looks alone.
The problem with arrenged marriage is that your family find the perfect daughter in law for them. Your family finds someone they think is best and unless you are exactly like your parents that wouldnt work
Adam is my favorite UA-camr and I'm his fan
I’m Laotian and Mexican so, back in the old country where my Lao grandparents are from, some or not many Lao people tend to do arranged marriages like other Asian nationalities do. My Hmong aunt along with her family forced her and herself to marry my uncle from my dad’s side and he now lets her control him, she works at a hospital and also what I know too is that she verbally abused my mom when she was pregnant with my older brother (severely autistic and now in his 20s) and my grandmother before she passed of her diabetic complication 13 years ago. She even took out an insurance policy illegally on my other uncle before he passed couple of years ago of a murder incident. Arranged marriage is scary knowing that the person that you or anybody was arranged with can take advantage in never the right way can abuse your family when they’re very old, disabled and sick. It happens in every parts of the country.
I am proud of u Adam. I support u no matter what ❤😆😆
Adam will marry someone who loves him for who he is. No changing Adam. Accept and love his family like her own. Most importantly they should vlog together. 😍😍😘😘 Cant wait for that day.
Sounds like you want to marry him
Comings here's I seeing you beings tennis match is fire in heart is like matches on fire
Yerrr! Adam should get married soon enough he sounds like a man who can take care of his family, coz he already did u know he helped his whole family.
So many ppl in the comment section were complaining about the lady.. I thjnk she's such a sweetheart, guys. Stop criticizing ppl based on thw looks only
🤔A person should
marry ,
someone they love ❤️❤️
Arrange marriage does not guarantee compatibility at the very least. It’s best to know a persons goals but most importantly knowing who they are internally. Are they kind, loving, friendly, forgiving, genuine, generous, family oriented, do they want children, are they materialistic, etc. Do you practice the same religion, etc.
Lol I can't imagine Adam being married 😂❤❤❤❤❤❤
should I be gay and love men for the rest of my life
Is it normal if this video makes me do not want to marry.
Me too
Why is that?
It‘s okay... likewise my aunt didn‘t marry and she‘s happy with it :)
عبدالله الغامدي its stressful
Me too I want to be forever single
I think a lot of people marry someone they don’t love. Love is a feeling often confused with other feelings and some never really know what it is others figure it out
Not surprising arranged marriages are more successful; when you don't work hard to get something, you're more likely to be satisfied with whatever. Like being invited to a fancy dinner, if you're not paying, you're less bothered about being 100% satisfied with the meal. It's when you're paying that you start to nitpick, "was it really worth it?" etc. When you work hard to find a mate and voluntarily choose them over anybody else as a life partner, you always question your judgment. "Did I make the right decision?", "what was I thinking?", "nobody forced me into this", etc. and you begin to think of others who could potentially be so much better for you. How it was your stupidity that got you into this mess. An arranged marriage lasts longer and is more satisfying because it was obtained for free. No wasted effort, no wasted money, no wasted thoughts, no wasted time.
@ṀṎẒṘ Do share your hypothesis...
Do share your thesis please
@ṀṎẒṘ yes plz do share your hypothesis...
You should love.
Not fall in love
Because everything that falls
Gets broken
His parents could choose more girls, so that he meets them all and chooses one.
Then she leaves him over jealousy that he had a choice of many ???!!!
Just Jeaπ Ramjean she wouldn’t know IF it wasn’t being filmed
@@alphafish4756 ?🧐?
Just Jeaπ Ramjean what? Isn’t the bachelor rubbish similar?
Also... if she’s the one he ended up choosing, why would she be jealous?
@@Alphacentauri819 yes your right
How does this vid only have 96 comments
Also notice they've disabled the like/dislike buttons. Probably keep it family friendly and keep out all the "negative comments"... Or you know, censoring and pushing a narrative. Whichever view you like.
It's because it's a UA-cam Premium video and only premium members can comment.
@@DG-kd5bs nope. Not a premium member. Commenting as we speak.
*617*
@@DG-kd5bs I'm not premium
This is really a banger.... I was deceased😂😂😂😂 when everyone was frozen...
omg, i am fellow new yorker of pKstan bckground in same situation but my parents selected girl back home who is 24 while i am turning 36 in a week. I was hours away from arrange marriage last year in PK, then i called it off n asked for some time to think it over. I haven't been in touch with girl, just spoke for 20 min (didnt learn much we were both nervous as hell) and now deadline is arriving to go back n marry her and i m freaking out bigly. The idea of having responsibility over a human being is huge, like a living breathing person next to me 24/7 yikes.... scary what IFs she's .... this that n other.. anyhow, the WORST part is waiting 2 more years before she can actually get visa to USA. US immigration laws need reform, mr. president HELP!
Don’t get married adam we subscribers afraid that you might forget us
Lol He can't forget. UA-cam is his job.
dont tell him what to do he can do whatever he wishes
Lmao “don’t get married”
Being with someone you don’t love will give you hell in the future. You don’t love her, you only married her because your parents said so. It’s better to wait and get someone you really love. Than to be with someone, pretending like you love her.
You must of not watched the video. They mentioned statistics that in fact a successful marriage doesn't have to be built on love at first. You get married because you have a common vision and values and the love comes down the road. This isn't the first time a study suggests that arranged marriage is successful.
해연 it’s not only in muslim countries like that, many western societies did very similar 2-3 generations before and it feels like they lasted often very long at least longer than todays
@@realmadrid-cx8yd Exactly! That means we are doing something wrong.
해연 probably but also I am quite picky I don’t know if I could imagine being with someone not that suitable
“In the name of prophet Mohamed” should it not be in the name of God ??
TripleA Cumar that's the whole trick. They either commit shirk or it's a sign of fingers crossed ;)
Idk man but it was funny asf
muslims
My immediate thought after watching this is, why not both?
see If you have a best friend that you get along with, who shares the same values and world views and economical dreams, why don't you come together under marriage? you don't necessarily have sex or intimate feelings. Just be partners that support each other emotionally and economically- marriage is a contract that you promise to keep since it's based on this thought out, stable reasoning and not fleeting emotions, it doesn't get broken if someone loses feelings, a dead bedroom or a fling.... think about it- friends and acquaintances often last longer because the personality traits you like about them don't change. You simply have a good time, you can fight and disagree with your friends but don't need to check in to see if you like them any less after. You don't have feelings for these people, you're their friend because you have a good time. If you're laughing together next week it's okay since this little vault of emotions isn't being affected.
if you are in love, however, fighting too much means that you eventually break up. It doesn't matter if you're okay a week later. Each little argument tears at the romance between you till its completely torn and you leave since that's the only reason you were married. compatibility and love are not the same, love is emotions, therefore love is inherently unstable since emotions are as well.
idk
on the other side, you're free to get a significant other that you love, the one you actually have feelings for. The idea of a relationship can change. We don't have to keep dating if we don't feel happy RIGHT NOW. our feelings are in the center. we're not extrapolating and thinking about whether or not this is someone we could marry, someone that can provide for us financially, don't need to pick and choose a partner based on rationality: that person support blanks and is blank so i shouldn't go for them since its more likely that we will break up. This doesn't matter, you just want passion and love in its purest form - the moment it's gone you leave. You don't keep wasting your time on couple therapy because "we've know each other for so long. lets keep it going". The only relationships based purely on love are the ones where both partners feelings always are
i personally think this video is such a good video, even though i'm from the same generation I've always looked at my parent's generation and thought i wished i was born in there generation's as they had arrange marriages back then and are still married after 40/50 years the men back then weren't unfaithful, worked so hard for there families, had loads of kid's and are still happy and are in love, even though they didn't fall in love and then got married they fell in love after marriage and kid's. i know my dad would be lost without my mum and it's actually so cute, so yes arrange marriages are ok and do have good points. but as i was born in this generation i'm 50/50 and holding back on arrange marriage everyone want's to find that special someone and fall in love and then get married and have kid's and be happy forever. it's just about finding that someone as it's just so difficult and this generation is just too messed up and for those who do find someone and fall in love and get married are the lucky one's i guess. and those who got arrange marriage and are happy and in love are also the lucky one's. I've seen loved marriages not work out, I've also seen arrange marriages not work out too, its a messed up world we live in. but then there's people like me who's never got married and can't find anyone who perhaps won't ever get married sad world we live in, maybe this is Allah's plan and test for me, who know's only Allah. it's just messed up in the Muslim community as they don't like or want a girl after a certain age so it's messed up and yes this makes my life so hard that i feel to give up at times..... But i'm Muslim that's what keep's me going. back to regarding to Adam going for arrange marriage or not i guess it's a risk, same way it's a risk if you find someone and fall in love, so i'm 50/50.
Stop crying like A baby and stop focussing on searching love, gut it's not a groccery story, you can't pick u love like that, it takes time to build up love. weaks months.
arranged married is basically a lottery it's stupid, you basically let your parents choose a random person for you, but you should live your own life, they already had theirs. your adult not a child to let your parents choose, go date different people.
The reason why ur still single because your a high class girl with high standarts. sometimes you gotta go for a less attractive men. many men wants date female they get apprached a lot but they always reject the nice guys, and go for the badboys.
or you must be 30+ older. men do not want to date old womens they like young females.
cuz girls wanne marry fast have children etc, they age faster and lose their beaty. men only want fo have sex but not a real relationship.
now focus on your own life, some people are not ment to marry, if u had married, ur child or husband could die at the age 40-50. you see thats life.
They are still married bc it’s wrong in the eyes of God to get divorce. Ofc they will last forever, but never will be completely happy. Some live with regret
Forget about love. Love is like the weather. It can be hot and steamy and the next second could be cold and old. So...if the marriage is beneficial and profitable, then go for it. If not, then nah.
Who came here after watching Adam Saleh vlogs??
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The most important thing in an arranged marriage is that both parties are ok with the idea.
As long as the man and woman agree to this method there is high probability for success
I can see their point of view, but I think this very much depends on what one wants out of marriage. If you're looking it in old-fahioned terms as not much more than a contractual arrangement, these kind of marriages can work out well. I think nowadays, in western nations, that is not the type of marriage people want anymore. The divorce rate wouldn't be so high if people were happy with logical arrangements. Because once the marriage turns into a mostly contractual arrangement, people here get divorced. There are also a lot of arranged marriages that do not turn out happy. But they couple will not divorce due to cultural shame. I think a healthy mix of both would be a great thing.
There is a difference between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage. A forced marriage is obviously when two people dont consent to marriage but in Islam it is forbidden to force someone into marriage. It takes time to find someone where both are happy with the arrangement but it is definitely worth it when it's done right.
My guy twerked in front of a wedding dress😂😂
In my opinion, quality of time and honest conversation will work. That transition of physical attraction to emotional attachment then comes compatible attraction. Sooner or later it's gone but you can mesmerized the memories you shared together. Never had one .
I have so many questions, I just don't get it: so essentially you marry a good friend, you become best friends, good on you, but you leave sensuality and sexuality behind? Can you live longterm ignoring your sexual desires?
Hi as an Indian Muslim where arranged marriages happen in my community, and I've been through the process, I can answer your questions.
If a family member or a friend suggests someone, I only meet them if I find them attractive. After that, it depends on how we get on/vibe/click. You continue seeing each other and going on dates, getting to know each other for about a year atleast before taking the next step of marrying. Every culture and community is different however, for some the getting to know part does not take as long. Arranged marriages are not what they used to be 70 Years ago, with technology you can talk to each other alot more, meet up etc
I'm watching this cs of Adam Saleh💓 anyone else? 💕
Am I high or did School of Life genuinely just collaborate with Adam Saleh ?!?
In my opinion find a decent girl with same morals as you such as want to have kids, practice same religion, if they pray, observe if she will be a good mother, how she treats people around her and in her community. Also have some things in common. I feel that u should get to know a girl a bit because sometimes parents are in a rush to get their son or daughter married and can lie about their qualities. Someone tried to arrange me with a guy who doesn’t pray his 5 prayers! And we have nothing in common. You have to be careful and observe the person you will marry and ask them
Questions to make sure your in the same page!
25! Run like fcuk. A friend of mine is stuck in an arranged marriage, they both have to fake the happiness. A divorce is really almost impossible, so much drama.
it’s weird seeing adam in this formal documentary type video bc his vlogs are more relaxed and go with the flow
"Should Adam marry someone he doesn't love but with whom he might a have a great life long friendship"- I mean this question can't also not been seen in connection with an arranged marriage. What is an arranged marriage, the family is searching for a right Partner for one, they meet each other and then decide if they want to marry or not. There ist not really time to see if there can even evolve a great friendship. This also needs time.
I think to marry the best friend but to whom you also feel physically attracted is the best thing that can happen to you. But this needs time and shouldn't be forced. And if your parents play the matchmaker so what, it just shouldn't be under pressure and a no has to be allowed!
In some countries you don't even get to meet before the wedding night. Only photos..
They clicked really well. It's amazing.
You betrayed addomygang you never told us Adam 🥺
wth r u saying he literally mentioned it in yesterdays vlog chill
I think the problem with non arranged marriages, is that they start with the pressure of hype, which sets up the huge likelihood of disillusionment. With an arranged marriage, you start with almost nothing. As such one may start with a sceptical, even fearful attitude toward the whole thing, and so anything that happens that is better than bad, will shift your attitude positively, making you feel more, rather than less connected. Both forms of course have their own other pros and cons and neither should be taken lightly!
Adam bro you scared me bro 😂
Wether it is arranged or not you do not want a miserable marriage.
I was shocked after hearing that arranged marriage brings more satisfaction. In my view, maybe, they consider each other as FRIENDS, as a PARTNER OF THEIR LIVES rather than LOVERS. Consequently, they tend to be more distant but yet so close together. In that way days after days, they will form an attachment as same as falling in love. It reminds me about a famous sentence in my country: "Duyên đôi lứa cũng là duyên bạn bầy" (which can be translate into "Love may be seen as friendship" :)))))))))))
P/s: sorry for my bad English. If there 's any mistake, could you point out for me?
Ui Vietnamese này, chào mừng cậu ☺️
😢😭👣😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
that gousehold needs a piece offering atm... violence was the is case
@Nihal Hashir omg thank you so much >w