Why I'm done trying to be "man enough" | Justin Baldoni
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- Опубліковано 2 січ 2018
- Justin Baldoni wants to start a dialogue with men about redefining masculinity -- to figure out ways to be not just good men but good humans. In a warm, personal talk, he shares his effort to reconcile who he is with who the world tells him a man should be. And he has a challenge for men: "See if you can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man to go deeper," he says. "Your strength, your bravery, your toughness: Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? Are you strong enough to be sensitive? Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life?"
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"Instead of teaching our children on; how to be brave boys and pretty girls; can we just teach them how to be good humans" -Justin B. (Challenge accepted)
@CanadianLoki76 or just let your boy wear what he wants without fear of being ridiculed
@CanadianLoki76 Promoting false manhood produces men who can't take no for an answer...not men who know how to take a no with grace and strength. I hope you don't have children. Mine will be allowed to wear what they want with the knowledge that some boys are too scared to try it and will ridicule them for it because they can't face their own fears.
@@beverlyprice743 Wether or not someone wears a dress is not a factor in this conversation. I don't care what anybody wears. I have always had clear boundaries growing up, I was raised. BUT, that doesn't mean I had to wear "mens clothes" or do "mens things". I HAVE FREEDOM, even though, actually BECAUS I HAVE BOUNDARIES. I get to wear pink sweatshirts and do "women's things", but I was still given rules and guidelines. Children don't know what they are doing. How are they supposed to work if they are not taught to obey their boss? My grandmother has been a childrens psychologist for decades, still working as a 70 year old. The number one reason why people are depressed is because they are not able to obey boundaries. 1/3 of people who go to the 1/2 - 1 year oblicatory military service in Finland have to stop half way because of this. CHILDREN NEED BOUNDARIES
Thank you
CanadianLoki76 doing as they please will make them into humans, it’s how I became more humane than the people around me, I’ve seen the world and the violence and hate in it, and I wanna become better than that, that’s what doing as I please has done to me
People talk about men wearing dresses are not manly, but they forget that other people fought for their right to wear, ride and say what they like. Dont forget that wearing pants and riding a bycicle was a man thing before it also became a woman thing.
he should have been casted as Aladdin
M. M.
Ahhh he would’ve been perfect 😍😭
I was thinking the same exact thing! He would be perfect for Aladdin.
He’s gorgeous!
omg yesssssss
@@jkovert Right? Or the monkey. Can't remember his name.
@@catherineleary9831 Abu
"I don't just wanna be a good man.
I wanna be a good human."
@@umglitch let's try to be both.. (**I read your comment in wrong way..sorry)
Be a nice man that this guy is asking you to be, but know that women will avoid you like plague in dating market.
@@timbergreenproperties9296 If you live your life just to be attractive to women then you are doing something wrong champ =/
@@umglitch Relationship was only one field as an example. But Good luck in your life.
@@timbergreenproperties9296 bro I think you didn't get the idea of this video, just take it easy and watch again =)
and I wish you luck in your life too champ
I am male. I cried while watching this and I AM NOT ASHAMED OF THAT.
good to know that you are a part of the change. :))
You should be
as you should ☺️☺️!!
@@ramon4152 I smell toxic Maskuliniti
own it man
liked him in Jane the Virgin...like him more today
Agree!
samee
I knew it was him!
Same
Same!!!
Guys who are open about their struggles and don't act like a brick wall when it comes to their feelings are the bomb.
Women disagree.
Do they indeed?
Not this woman!
as a brickwall women seem to love running into it.
avoidantbehavior wrong
"As if being gay makes you less of a man."
Eye opener
It does though...I think he meant "gay" as the guy used it to mean with anything linked to emotions and sensitivities.
It does, being rammed as a man is not very masculine I must say lol
@@s.a5332 If i do the ramming though?
@@moonie1825 lmfao nice 😂
you didn't know that?
" Real Manliness is not hurting others, Real manliness is helping those who are weak "
Gotta be strong to help the weak. How is you crying all day going to help someone.
Those who are in tough places have no time to cry. They are busy trying to live.
@@Saskfinest1 having moments of vulnerability isn't weakness, it's called being human.
@@isabellarobinson6082 being vulnerable in the face of adversity is weak. There's a time and place for everything. Crying all day is weak, no matter how you put it.
This is why we choose strong leaders. You don't see the president of Ukraine crying all the time even though you know he feels horrible watching his people die.
@@Saskfinest1 🤦♀️
@@isabellarobinson6082 😭
What's so problematic is that sometimes when men do find the courage to open up and show some vulnerability, they're told by some women to 'act like a man and toughen up'. It's really the same as telling a woman to 'act like a girl and sit silent and look pretty'.
Yes it sucks, but it's not because someone try to shut you up that you have to do it. Better is to try to make them understand, and don't lose hope.
Yes, it's awful.
A man often has to feel safe to express his emotions,but once he does? It's awesome.
My husband (a police officer and combat veteran) is the most tender, sweet, empathetic person in the world.
He's always dragging home stray dogs and he won't use his power to hurt anyone.
And he cries a lot more than I do!🤗
Blah, blah, blah... Women hate weak, emotional guys, because eh, they are like women. Polarity attracts not similarity.
@@avahbenjamin9985 I have a friend like that. Kind and thoughtful and not embarrassed to be human. Men like that are treasures 👑
@@ilikehumans1096 we're literally here because they hate that
i knew he was a good actor but damn , the man is woke af
I thought he was gay
Creative Film he’s married to a woman so probably not. 😂
Yeah I know right
@@rainystone607 - Could you please not tar all gay men with the woke brush. Some of us still have some self respect.
@@rainystone607 100% in the closet
I'm 17 and I am shocked that this is 3 years old but only has 2.8 million views. This Talk needs to go viral, to come forward.
When you're 27 (preferably/hopefully sooner) you'll wish you hadn't said this.
@@jaydamalley3398 agreed
The ultimate SOY BOY talk
@@pulsipher6I feel sad for you
@@pulsipher6Actually the last 5 mins did get pretty soy
I'm a woman, and I'm so happy of listening to thoughts like that. Really, just think that men like this actually exists makes me fell hope.
ok
exactly
He needs to do speeches in schools.
He needs to do THIS speech in schools.
@@felisd Right!
@Jack did u listen to anything be said?
@Be Frank no... He can't control who comes to the Ted talk. They booked him to do this talked and he agreed, neither he or Ted could've known how many male and how many females will come that night. As long as this talk can reach some males in the crowd, and some males here on UA-cam, he did his thing. He is literally talking about how he tries to get more attention from males and reach out to them. It literally doesn't make sense that he's trying to woo females for several reasons. 1, he couldn't know who comes to that talk that night, Ted booked him and the rest was up to the people buying the tickets. 2, when most of his followers where females he purposely change his account to attract more males to follow him, even when females will unfollow bc they aren't interested in that content.
@Be Frank not only that but majority of men don't agree with the feminist movement
Perfect guy doesn’t exi-
Ha ha, my thoughts exactly!
Lol
^!
Perfect human doesn't exist
Harry Styles also. He’s so respectful and goes out of his way to be there for fans.
I’m a 17 year old guy, for reference, and this is potentially one of the best tedtalks I’ve ever heard, and I resignations more with it than any other tedtalk I’ve heard. Well dome mate
Im a 17 yesr old guy, and I have just about the opposite opinion. I think this type of thinking is deeply harmful to men.
@@sguraya7223 why?
@Earth Being Evidence?
@Earth Being Answer me this. If talking about your emotions, feeling, etc is so good and helpful, why is that more women than men attempt suicide? It's just that their methods aren't as successful at killing themselves. Even if you say "it's a cry for help" Then clearly talking about it wasn't very successful was it.
Whatever this guy said, throw it out the window. Other men in this thread mentioned Jordan Peterson, much better to listen to him. Also check out Coach Greg Adams and Rollo Tomassi, if you truly value your life. You will have a better future if you listen to them rather than this guy.
Such a powerful talk! I’ve been struggling with this in ways that for years were not even barely clear to me. As a man (and as a human), the expectations sometimes feel too heavy and pointing in a direction that is not my own, even for a sensitive guy like myself who’s used to crying in front of women and such. To the fellow men out there, I cannot emphasise enough how much therapy has been wonderful in helping me tackle these issues, seeing them for what they really are and becoming not who I want to be, but who I have always been but didn’t have the means to let out freely :)
Gorgeous, smart AND sensitive! My kind of man. "I don't just want to be a good man, I want to be a good human." Beautifully said.
There are millions of smart AND sensitve men out there, but none of them are gorgeous thus you won'T find them attractive.
@taothewanderer EXACTLY!!! YOU'RE MY MAN BRO!
@taothewanderer so you can read minds?
@taothewanderer "until your blue in the face" jesus christ wtf
don't forget funny
I have so much respect for actors and actresses who use their influence to shed light on important issues and champion the message of inclusion.
_"Message of inclusion"?_
What?
ditto as performing artists it's a responsibility for every performer to shed the light on more serious issues
@@sumonachakravarty1369 Where did you get that idea?! The only 'responsibility' of performers is to hone their craft. Nothing more.
@@jaydamalley3398 I differ that's not true
@@sumonachakravarty1369 Yes, it is. Their 'responsibility', and your expectations of them, are two different things. Nowhere in their job description does it say they have to shed light on anything.
It's up to them to decide what they do with their abilities.
This is one of the most reaching and emotionally well tuned talks I've had the pleasure of being engaged by. Kudos to everyone who put the event together
That is exactly how I felt all the way growing up. Growing up in a south asian household every guy around me was just supposed to be masculine and Justin literally spoke my heart out. LY
Embrace masculinity cuz men are ment to be masculine
Thank you for sharing this
My dad commit suicide when I was 8. I just learned he was sexually abused and took a really tough role in his childhood. I get it now. I feel sorry he couldn't talk to anybody so he started to drink.
I love this talk! Beautiful.
D Mendoza your strong thank you for sharing ❤️
I applaud your bravery for sharing this in a public platform. All the best in your life.
That's fucked up
I'm so sorry to hear this ♥
Oh wow.
I can't believe someone like him actually exist. bless you.
Paniz Haghighi I know right!
@Mario To be honest, we don't know this man. And everything you mentioned is just a preconceived notion you had after watching the video. I could personally relate to everything he said. And none of your arguments fit on me. Nothing wrong with being kind, caring and emotionally expressive.
There are many, MANY who do. But you're right few believe it, including those men.
Is that cupid flying around me... Oh okay
🙋 I believe, I am one of them 😊
made me cry. warms my heart to see that there are men like him out there that are actually trying. Gave me a little hope for the rest of them and the future of our society.
That is a Real man. Who is a compassionate, honest and courageous person
He's a groveling liar
@@proudgary2228 🤦♂️
@@proudgary2228 how
i agree, but i think the whole point of this speech was to shed light on how stupid the word "real man" is, because all men are real men
This guy would've made the PERFECT Aladdin..
@John Mandrake dont think so, the guy is too old, too well build to be a homeless, young man, who quick on his feet and a thief, eat 1 meal per day, and of course, aladdin is sometime cunning and quick thinking, this man look too kind for that role
@@quannguyenle9775 ...sure he's not the most ideal.....but compared to the original casting ...for sure
@@quannguyenle9775Lê exactly!
But... he's white
@@mammatin7209 well.. technically he is tan
I'm so glad I live at a time and place where this is being talked about. My only wish is that it had happened long before I was born. But at least we have time to do better for the next generations.
Grow some balls David, you're listening to toxic, feminist propaganda.
I agree brother, thank u for sharing!!
@OH Yeh! OH Yeh! 😂
Jesus Satan stfu
Nope,we need boys to become men not girls
I really appreciate his speech, it was amazing, he is speaking about real and serious stuff which is happening every day. So men, men and men listen his speech and learn to listen as well, it is important to understand and to be understood. Each of us has some weaknesses, let's learn to speak about them with our real friends (they are rare), but we need them, we need their support, we need someone who can listen and encourage us to do this or that thing. It's enough to persuade others that everything is ok, if it is not. Don't hide your feelings,your weak sides speak about them and you will feel much more better than ever.
When you asked for forgiveness I started to cry. I can't believe what am seeing. I thought a man like you didn't exist. Thank you. So much. This is very healing for me as a woman. Thank you so much.
His wife must be the luckiest woman .
And the worst part is that men themselves put each other down for being human. Truly tragic.
@WildWonkyWizard The irony.
@@jordanbabin The even-worse part is that men who put each others down for being Human almost always do so at the behests of other women, the "justification" used by those women usually being that men who show vulnerabilities must be pre-emptively punished by any means possible (in the West, it'd usually be via social ostracization) for their perceived inability and future failures to protect women.
WildWonkyWizard uh ggy
watch their proposal video on video; can confirm shes so lucky
My partner apologies everytime he cries and I always tell him it's a strong man who can cry and cry openly. He always says thankyou and for letting him cry. If only that can come from one of his mates, it would make such a different difference than his gf telling him
I feel with you. My man does the same and I ask him why. He often says that he feels mot masculine enough. it makes me sad because he is the one who can effectively ground me when I have my issues. He is then calm and determined to care for me and this is so utterly manly in my eyes. I think he could not keep the balance if he can blow off steam some times. I don't know how to convince him otherwise.
Tell him " a man crys not because he is weak, but because he has been strong for too long," i have grown up(growing as im 16 rn) with this idea, and i like it. This guy here in the talk says he isnt strong but here he is in front of millions of ppl so hes a bit misguided. Theres a difference between raising your sons to never show emotion, and teaching your sons WHEN to show emotion. Instead of crying at the funeral, cry after, support others and be their rock. Its what men do
@@michaelrogers3857 Thats my ninja way
If he cries a lot he is weak. Lmao
@@masterdingus7074 I feel sorry for you if you truly feel that way
Powerful message! I love when I meet a man that uses his qualities to go deeper inside himself to recognize these same things!
I am so blessed by your words of wisdom. I watched this Ted Talk for a school assignment, but I plan to share this with my friends and family. As a woman, I wish there were more men out there like Justin Baldoni. I cried. I'm now SUCH a huge fan of his even though I had no idea who he was before watching this.
Wow...I felt it when he said "are you brave enough to be vulnerable?" It's like I needed to hear it...I don't show any emotion...I don't cry in front of my parents...I cry alone where no one can see me
Michelle Jackson me too, me too
I cry way more than my wife does.
@Mike Resorting to name-calling for something as insignificant as this is always the best option.
Please cry. I mean it's healthy,you can always cry in front of your loved ones
It's okay to cry. You are human being first.
Kudos to all the men, who have been holding up for so long, but finally are now comfortable.
Cheers!
Being emotional isnt the problem. Being too emotional and soft is the problem.
This is how a man is suppose to be but when u bring out this side of yourself you are often misjudged. It was around 2 years ago when my class teacher was leaving the school I felt very emotional. I couldn't control my tears I cried . Because of this one day when I was hanging out with my friend he said he has doubt on my sexuality. He thinks that I am probably a gay. From that day onwards I thought I should keep my feeling inside me, I shouldn't express them. Thanks to this "man's" great speech. I think its OK to express ur feelings.
Faraz khan that happened to Justin himself and that did not stop him. If he could do it, you can do it too! 😊
A man is man enough to express his feelings. Stop being a gay male girlfriend to women, and not strong and centered enough to your friends. Common man, be strong, be a role model, do what needs to be done.
I can definitely relate. I have been convinced that only girls cry and express themselves. Plus, I was bullied and my sexuality had been questioned for my sensitivity. Some humans (men and women) with lower levels of consciousness will not understand due to their high IQ in Ignorance. Thanks for sharing.
U should express ure feelings because u're human
@@Born2neverdie Never be ashamed to express your feelings. If your friends feel that's a problem they're sick, not you.
Ironically him coming out and saying this for men makes him a brave man! Loved this. Easily one of, if not the most, inspiring and “game-changing” Ted Talks out there that I have seen!
Thank you for this message. Lots of people such as myself struggle. Society has made it tough for men to show what's truely happening inside. Hopefully in time we can all overcome and be more transparent to those around us and be able to support and hold each other up .
Man it's self evident based on this comment section that people aren't able to understand what he's saying. Will take more people with courage to speak up to create the change.
Let's raise more good humans.
Super Junak Lol.😂
PantsFreeZone the guy gets praised by feminists and leftist cucks
You mean retrain men? Because that's what this is.
First we need to advertise more condoms.
Not more Justins.
I'm a 65 year old guy and this is one of the best messages to young men and even to old farts like me to just be yourself. I've been working on this stuff half my life to become the kind of man he's talking about. What a relief to finally be able to say to another man, "Damn, I am hurting and I'm scared". I'm sending this to my 18 year old son. Thank you Justin!!!
Dont do that. Don't destroy your son's life. This is speech is very harmful. I suggest presentation video's by Dr. Jordan Peterson or Dr. Robert Glover "No more mr. nice guy".
@@timbergreenproperties9296 why do you say this speech is harmless?
@@MattsBookPro I said harmful, not harmless. That young man talking in video is not a development psychologist or subject matter expert in academia. In fact, this guy is defining good man incorrectly. You can be good friend to women by being that, but not intimate romantic lover or husband. Most women are not attracted intimately to that type of guy. Also, it will not bring success in your other field of life such as career and business. This is the root cause for so many men who are suffering from depression in post modern time. I suggest to check out presentations by Clinical Psychologist and Professor at Toronto University Dr. Jordan Peterson or another clinical psychologist Dr. Robert Glover in UA-cam.
@@timbergreenproperties9296 So much to let a person live huh?
@A p No, that's not he is talking about. His video does not talk about balancing. Even if he did, we should not be taking his advice unless he is a subject matter expert.
Have listened to this message more than once and that Justin so much for stepping up. Using what I heard to teach my grandchildren all boys by the way to better humans. We men and women are in this together.❤️
I feel sorry for your boys who should be taught to be men.
This might be the most powerful and beautiful TedTalk I've ever watched
It's realy not
You should watch TED talk about Bhutan.
Request you to watch more ted talks, please.
The master procrastinator one was probably my favourite
beautiful because of the words or for other reasons......🤣🤣
I agree with a lot of this message, but I think it does downplay the role of women in perpetuating the issue. Women also need to learn how to accept and deal with male expressions of emotion and vulnerability.
I've been dumped because I was upset and scared before a worrying medical procedure. I've had someone actually stop loving me after I broke down and cried in front of her, because we were going to be apart and I was going to miss her. I know enough men with similar experiences.
Telling men to open up and embrace their vulnerability is a good thing, but saying that we are the sole problem is short sighted.
Women aren't always the warm, glowing beacons of empathy you paint them as. They are imperfect beings, just like men, and they do play their part in the internalisation of male emotion.
Kris Yo, why are you picking bad female partners? Good female partners will accept your emotions.
I'm really sorry that happened, Kris, and I hear you-- this isn't a male or female issue alone. It's a human issue, and it will take all identities working towards a compassionate understanding of each other to heal generations of hurt. We women certainly have our own share of work in this task, and every one of us is on a different journey. I hope that you are able to find people who love and support you on your own journey, and who find your emotions to be as lovable as any other piece of you. Best wishes, Natalie
@ Kris I absolutely agree. However, we all attract certain types of partners into our lives, mostly partners with similar issues, beliefs as our parents. If you had a mother who was uncomfortable with her own emotions or people being vulnerable, then you will also attract the same type of women into your life. The good News is that you can change what kind of people you attract in the future, by deleting the blueprint for women you have stored in your subconscious mind, which goes: Women are uncomfortable with emotions. You can literally reprogramme this belief into a belief of your preference. And suddenly you attract more emotionally vulnerable women into your life. There are other factors that play a role in this process, but this is totally possible. If you research about Theta Healing or EFT, you will find that these modalities offer ways to have your beliefs reprogrammed and your reality changed. There are SO many Solutions just waiting to be discovered , we just need to be Open to them.
I agree with you. Part of understanding feminism is realizing that both men AND women reproduce patriarchy. We all have a role to play in dismantling toxic masculinity and patriarchy
Agreed!
I have seen lot of women saying don't cry like a girl.
Part of this needs to be acknowledged by women also because a lot of women see these things (emotions, vulnerability, etc.) as less masculine also.
"A lot of women also see it as less masculine"? Women are *the entire reason* why it's considered unmanly to cry. It's called sexual selection pressures. Leading to men trying to be capable and stoic providers.
@@jaydamalley3398 Did you not hear the part where he talked about how he was afraid to share and be vulnerable even with his pals?
@@tanyarawat9700 Yes. And why do you think that is? Maybe because women want men who are stoic and capable, and so men amongst each other either mutually challenging or chastising one another for showing weakness? It's the "sexual selection pressures" I was talking about.
@@jaydamalley3398 I guess being "stoic and capable" doesn't translate to having no weaknesses?
@@tanyarawat9700 Naturally not. But it does translate into not letting your emotions control you, so you can stay productive. Something women can use a little of.
I got goosebumps a couple of times watching this and I can't believe how every line is relatable to every gender. Seeing the toxic and conventional environment my brother and I grew up in, this changes everything. The mindset, the heart of a person and above all one's approach towards feelings.
Bravo to Justin Baldoni. This was beautiful. Thank you. I've been saying and doing and making these very same changes in my life.
Wow. He’s so strong for doing this, not physically, but mentally.
@@ilikehumans1096 He's like Roosh V in full character.
@@daftwod yeah hes kinda like an inverted version of him
and physically
He looks Shredded what do you mean not physically?
"As if being gay makes you less of a man" 👏👏👏
@Be Frank A man is a grown male
@SugarieDreams a woman is a large girl.
@@sugariedreams2707 I thought gender was a social construct.
@@antropatico I don't entirely know but I don't think you. Likes and dislikes doesn't determine gender, and society doesn't determine likes and dislikes. If society forced someone to play with dolls when they like robots then that'd play a role in gender isn't a social construct. But boys only tend to play with trucks more because they can see moving things a lot more better than females, and a nurturing kind of personality makes more females like dolls because that's what presented to them. Though liking dolls doesn't determine gender because I believe gender is psychological and playing with dolls has nothing to do with how females were psychologically made.
Now I do ask you to challenge my thoughts because I haven't placed a firm grasp on whether it is or not.
you are a woman, woman will never understand men.
Wow! what a beautiful talk from Justin. I really recommend all men and women to hear this beautiful message. I found this through following all the crew of Jane the Virgin as me and my family have just found this series on Netflix, we hooked and we fell in love with the series. I am now following them and here I found some interesting stuff about what they do in rea life. I listened to a couple of Ted talk before including one of NZ actor and found this talk again from Justin Baldoni. This is so beautiful and I am sure it has touched so many lives out there. Keep up the good work, you are saving other peoples lives!
That story of the proposal had me crying. I love seeing my other men grow and being better.
As soon as those two words were spoken- "Me too". I couldn't take it. I completely broke down. Bless the soul of this wonderful person.
When he gave the Me too reference, my breath sucked in! My heart skipped a beat. Carol (10-2019/Phoenix Arizona)
When he spoke the words _Me Too,_ that was the final nail in the coffin. Just virtue-signaling, denying women's agency, and then declaring support for a witch hunt.
Jay Damalley if you’re not a rapist you needn’t worry about the “witch hunt”
@@midwestbambi Majority of the men the #metoo clan have gone after are not rapists either.
Amit Arvind what is this sentence backed up by? source?
When you are overwhelmed by an emotion, your body needs to release the pressure. You cry because you are able to feel so intensely, because you are human. Cry, let it OUT. You will feel better.
Men feel less of a need to cry than women. That's basic biology and psychology. Why do you think this is a problem that needs fixing?
@@BlunderCity Honestly I don´t know if you're talking to me, because I never mentioned anything about this needing fixing. However, I would like to reply to your comment.
My mother always said that she doesn't like when I cry, that I annoy her and that I should stop "playing victim", I never cry for too long, once it gets out, I stuff it back inside of me, then it comes back as anger, then I transform it into sadness and the cycle continues. I'm not saying this happens to everybody, but it's sad to imagine that so many people feel like it's not okay to express their emotions.
Ps: I suffer from an untreated mental illness, so there's that.
@@humita4610
_"I never mentioned anything about this needing fixing."_
Yeah but the Ted Talk implies that this needs fixing and you're replying to that video saying it's OK to cry. I logically respond that, while it's perfectly OK, men feel less of a need to do that than women.
There is a trait of personality of the Big 5 (the most used personality tool by clinical psychologists) called "neuroticism" which means emotional stability. And while men and women tend to cluster around the middle, women have a tendency to score higher on that scale and men lower. One manifestation of emotional instability is crying, it's a coping mechanism. Women need it more than men.
That's the reason why women are more likely to suffer from psychological disorders linked to high neuroticism such as depression and anxiety while on the other end of the spectrum, people are likely to be psychopath (extreme insensibility) and nearly all psychopaths are men.
The point is that men cry less because they don't need this so much and this has been demonstrated internationally and cross culturally. I don't think that socialisation make men cry less, it's likely that men cry in private rather than in public.
@@BlunderCity Good for you, you're informed. But honestly, please don't reply back. If you feel the need for someone to hear about all of this, idk start a blog maybe. I never once mentioned anything about gender, I get it, the video is about men and toxic masculinity, my comment isn't.
Just chill, you're getting conclusions out of nowhere.
That's right.
Just saw this. And i didn't even know how much i needed to see another brother speaking out loud about what is to be a man without the thrilled "secure, tough and strong stereotype" Justin now you are my now role model PERIODT!
This is one of the best videos I've watched. I've been thinking about this topic for so long, and it's so good that he said exactly what I've been thinking. I appreciate this video.
That's a man I'm looking for all my life
My husband is like this. They are definitely out there🌟
Keep looking... Oh wait you'll turn 35, hit the wall, loose your looks and end up alone in an apartment with 6 cats wondering where have all the good men gone?
Truthbetold Lee Female shaming... blah, blah, blah. Go get some cat food.
@@ilikehumans1096 geez relax
@Truthbetold Lee
It would be nice if you idiots would get a new trick. Criticizing women is not a sign of insecurity. Stop treating women like goddesses that are above any sort of criticism and mockery. It's beyond creepy and it makes me wonder if you are keeping bodies in your fucking closet.
As a man... this is one of the best TED talks i've seen.
no it's not lol.
Hey thanks for not calling him a simp
@@feministthoughts729 he is by definition
@Jason Salazar Why is that?
@Jason Salazar I think it's a good idea for men to be more open. Sure, it may not solve every problem, but it will make things better (for both men and women). I think he had a fair point.
God bless.
As a 24 year old man. Justin’s acting has been apart of my life for years. This silly little show called “Jane the Virgin” I came across at 17 with my sister at a critical part of my life was an introduction to a man that I never knew would end up helping me work with my vulnerabilities. I followed him into his directing adventures with “Five Feet Apart” after absolutely loving the book and wondering why more of my male friends didn’t get why the story was so good. And now I’m sitting here at 24 after all these years looking inward and understanding the only way to break the pattern is to start with myself. That “feminine” side of me has always been there. Growing up with 3 sisters I was always the emotional one. The one who couldn’t control himself. And as I’ve gotten older it’s become a self destructive trait that I know I have to break. I can’t thank TED enough for giving Justin this platform and I can’t thank Justin enough for being vulnerable in front of the world. I can easily say between this talk and his book, it has allowed me to start opening up and understanding more about myself. It’s crazy to think the man I saw on Hulu at my sisters house by chance turned into one of the most needed male figures in my life to help break the generational stigma. It’s a work in progress but I hope I can help the current and next generation create a better tomorrow with how we treat each other today.
Consider participating in the Baha’i ruhi institute book study circle. It’s all about building consciousness about ourselves so we can bring unity to the rest of the world. That’s what Justin quoted in the video, a Baha’i quote
coming back here after 3 years and I still think this is the BEST TED TALK EVER
*No lies, when I first saw Justin's role in a segment as an actor last year I rolled my eyes. "Stereotypical". After seeing this, I don't know if I could identify a stronger man. Vulnerability is the MOMENTUM that starts movement, that will ultimately lead to change. A happier, healthier, more honest world. Who couldn't get behind that? Thank you JustinXTed*
Omg hi Cass
you don't know if you could identify a stronger man????
Daniel Alcantar I know, when I read that, I got a 6-pack from laughing so hard.
Really? You can't think of a stronger man? You must not be looking very hard.
Matthew,
Women today are seen as strong when they whine on about emotional nonsense so by that logic, this guy is extremely strong.
Teach our kids how to be good humans. Yes. Exactly. Perfect. 😊
man = human
No need to additionally teach them anything.
IRISH MGTOW I totally agree! I think since he's a man, he's speaking on behalf of men, but girls need to be taught as well! As parents it's our job to lead and guide our children, boys and girls!
@@Cheryl_Frazier He doesn't speak on my behalf. What is this nonsense you speak of? I'm sorry, but all of the nonsense he talked about are about HIS own personal demons. I never seen women as lesser, ever since I was a kid I never seen women or girls as lesser. He is talking about his own experiences. Nothing more.
I am actually rather sick and tired of men trying to speak for me because of their idiotic experience, or feminists trying to speak for other women because of their idiotic experiences. We all have our own different experiences in life and they cannot be simplified down to these stereotypical cherry picked arguments.
@@simpletonapollo9723 it's good to know there are guys out there who were raised the way you were! I commented on this a long time ago. I'll have to listen to it again. I'm sure he is speaking for himself and maybe other men who think this way. Unfortunately they are out there as well. Thank you for your encouraging response. Have a wonderful day! ☺️
Why can't you liberals say people? When you say humans, you sound like a robot or an alien
LOVE this message. Thank you for speaking the truth...it's what humans need to heal (both men and women) and have truly supportive relationships with one another.
My standards for men in future relationships has just reached a new high to the point where i'm probably never going to have a boyfriend
Same 😂😂
Except in reality you prefer masculine men, not beta simps like this guy. You know I'm right.
@@DeviantDeveloper better not talk for others dude cuz you actually don't know what they want.
true lol..
Okay enjoy being alone
This is by far the best Ted Talk that has resonated with me.
I couldn't agree more 👍
Why? Because the guy is good looking?
@@ilikehumans1096 Why are you commenting on like every comment here in a hateful manner.
@@JBerg-uz5gn He has no honest response to you because he's "Jesus Satan." Fronting as a complex character online, unable to be authentic with his own complexities. An actor, minus the paycheck.
@@ilikehumans1096 you're name is very disrespectful and appalling but you probably don't care do you 😡😡🙄
it's sad that I'm a female but feeling all the things that he's talking about
Because even as women we hear that feminine qualities are "bad" so we try to reject them. And that's why so many girls say "I am not like other girls", because they want to reject anything girly that makes them "weak"
SH you are not the only one, like for real 😳
Celsea C spot on! This was me for a long time, still coming out of it!
Lol. Unfortunately in real life all he said apply only for successful, rich and handsome men. Like ,10%. The rest 90% of men population are only loosers in women's eyes ("men up!"). I live long enough to see this all the time. The emotional side is attractive only when guy is attractive, successful or rich. All other are just loosers who needs grow up. :p that's apply for 90% of women. You can reject that but this is the reality.
yes sadly ,i was like this also
i hated pink,barbie stuff, jewellery all my life
now I'm still struggling with it , i still struggle to cry out when i feel like 😔
The world needs more men like this, there is nothing wrong with being sensitive and emotional, doesn't make you any less of a man
Right?? I don't get some people's logic. How is expressing ur emotions (a natural human trait) something to be ashamed of?? Like u have tears, anger, happiness etc for a reason. There is nothing inherently masculine or feminine about just letting ur emotions show.
Except that it makes you less attractive to women. Hence men are more emotionally stable, biologically, because of higher testosterone/lower estrogen, because those were the kind of men women have selected over the countless centuries of our existence. And because women are not attracted to men who emote with every obstacle in their way, men are pressured to become stoic - someone who's able to channel his emotions into something productive and capable, so as to be someone a woman can depend on. Only when you've proven yourself to be someone like that, will women accept your vulnerabilities. You'd better get this in your head if you want to have a chance at a long-term relationship with a woman.
@@Andromeda-md6ch Being/becoming a stoic is not "bottling up your feelings", as I explained. And it still doesn't change the fact that women don't like it when men display their vulnerabilities. Except...when they have proven to be a capable, stoic individual.
That also happens to be the way men process their emotions - by DOING something. Not by talking. So I appreciate you seemingly being sincere, but you won't be helping men by telling them what you just told me.
@@jaydamalley3398 i do agree with what u said, as an Eastern African or am sure soo many places woman are more likely to be with someone who is strong not physical but emotional, when I say emotional who don't have vulnerability. And the guy in a video kinda like he is fully with woman side I don't agree with him saying open up ur feeling towards woman because not every woman will be happy instead they could use it against u or see u as a weak.
In short story u have to be very careful when u talk about your vulnerability with woman. If u really wanna talk about it better talk to ur family ur long friends or a woman u deeply trust her.
I wish I had more role models like this growing up and in general. To tell us it was ok to feel, to talk, to show emotion, to be vulnerable, to show you care and to stand up against toxic masculinity. It's hard and we men don't know that it's a problem since it's unfortunately a norm. My wife somehow got me to the point where it clicked recently and I'm making an effort to do better. I'm still learning, still awkward at times, but we must change.
I want a guy who’s as in touch w his feelings as this man is
you dont.
@@TJHTouring Sir, drop the feminist gender studies woo, kick it towards me - slowly!
@@TJHTouring Then how did it end up in your pocket? You say someone gave it to you without you knowing?!
You think you do, but you don't.
No. You do not. Stop lying to yourself.
this man is absolutely perfect. god bless him.
caroline isn’t that the message he is kinda talking against
Only a brain is missing.
@OH Yeh! I - being a gay man - wouldn't probably either. ^_^
BlunderCity Maybe you’re the one with the missing brain.
Awesome to see the positive community of men and women in these comments. Very powerful speech and eye-opening. I wish more men had the mentality of you Mr. Baldoni❤️
This is the most amazing thing I have ever heard from a man... Wish more men with this perspective...
Thankyou so much for standung up high n sharing.
Stay blessed
Me before the video: 18 minutes long!!!! 🤔
Me after the video: keep going dude...!!! 😍😭
Lol you can always adjust the video speed. He speaks slowly enough where you can still understand him at 1.5x the normal speed
It's not only men that don't know how to listen. Many people don't. It is a skill that really needs to be taught.
From a person who usually has a lot to offer in conversation but isnt listenednto all the time. I agree. Listening is now a skill🙄
One of the best talks I ever heard. So meaningful so impactful so authentic. Thank you
Well, there goes my tears 😭!! Such an incredible message!!
Women... we have our issues too. Listen to our men when they call out our toxic behaviours too... We are always ready to discuss what is wrong with men. And how men have to change. Just remember to check yourself first before trying to fix others with a misguided and broken spirit.
Edit: it's been a while since I've come back to this video. I appreciate everyone that was able to agree or disagree with my comment without being rude. To the rest, please take it elsewhere. I don't need those vibes in my notifications.
Say that louder. PLEASE!!!
God bless you
@@loadedpipe1311 And also you 🙏
As expected, no comments from women with acknowledgement of their flaws. I guess what can you expect from a gender that considers themselves to be perfect queens.
@@realeyesrealizereallies99 I think you missed the point of my comment.
Being a woman AND a feminist, I really want to support men's rights too now.
He's really humane.
WE ALREADY HAVE RIGHTS!!
@C A L L M E C A R E L E S S Respect is for the individual to give. Women do not deserve respect, simply for being women. And women already have the freedom to do what they want. You and feminists just don't like the outcome of their free choices. So you keep doubling down on society being disadvantaged for women. Destabilizing society as you go on: separating fathers from their children because of the corruption in family and divorce courts, affirmative action when it comes to women's education and job opportunities, continual demonization of masculinity, pretending there's a war on women, etc.
Feminism isn't, and has never been, FOR men. It's kind of in the name...
He’s not taking about supporting men’s rights, like pointed out men and women technically share the same rights. At least in America. It’s more so about the treatment and perception of women in the United States. I think he’s saying that redefining what it means to be a man is only going to be effective if it’s initiated by men because the problem lies within them and unfortunately if a man struggles with toxic masculinity then they’re are probably not going to listen to a women, but another man.
But, it isn’t just a male-specific issue because both genders help perpetuate the issue and thus, we both need to hold each other accountable in order to form more accepting standards of masculinity. The issue doesn’t just affect men or vice versa. These standards teach men that they can’t express their emotions and in turn they reject everything feminine. Hello oppression of both genders. Only men largely make up most positions of power so while they are suffering, it’s not in the same way as women because they don’t have to fight against things like glass ceilings and a pay gap, etc.
I'll support feminism when it's called "Gender Equality".
@@marilynalberto8503
" like pointed out men and women technically share the same rights. At least in America" Wrong. In america an insane injustice has happened in 1920. Women got the vote.
American men still dont have the right to vote. They can earn the vote by signing up to the draft. The majority of voters will either way be people which dont have to face the consequences of the wars they vote for.
Though admittedly, while men have been opressed in every human civilisation, the modern west stripped women of many of their historic privileges and mostly liberated men overthe course of the past ~200 years.
I shed a tear or two when I finished watching this. My eyes were blood-shot red and face full of emotional expression. I recently TYPED (yes, on a typewriter) a 3-4 page passage to myself about self-acceptance and forgiveness. I forgave myself for some past and deeply psychologically-damaging events in my life. Why? How? Because roughly 5-6 years after they happened, I've "finally" learned what it means to forgive yourself and accept who you are meant to be versus who the world says/said you should become. I've accepted my own apology, even to the point of applying to graduate-level programs of study to further empower myself to help others do the same for themselves in their own, respectively unique, ways.
Hmmm good.
If only more people could get it. Sadly most men are going to watch this and hear what they want to hear. Then use their tweaker logic to give "I'm a man, he's a snowflake" response.
Need more therapist in this world to heal poor parenting.
@@ethanschneider2422 If only soy boys such as you could get it. Sadly there are more and more of you soy boys who are going to watch this and hear what they want to hear. Then use their tweaker logic to give "I'm the new age crying, whimpering man who gets all touchy feely with his emotions, you're the snowflake." response.
Need more therapists in this world to heal "men" such as yourself.
wow look at you go, making the world a better place
This is one of the most beautiful speeches I have ever heard. It touched my heart , I’m in tears. Thank You.
"We don't have to stop being men. But we need balance!"
Dude acting really bad
I'm experiencing exactly the same thing. I mean I've started acting like *ME* instead of what the world were telling me to be. A man is not like what they say and I was tired about it.
Glad he has spoken, because my younger self needed to hear that, I hope this will help others.
Bg Jimy good for you!
laboomerang thank you so much
Maybe you've simply gotten older and you're suffering from low T?
Elmer Elmtree Jesus man, just listen to the talk and apply it.
Dennise Randolph - Jim Jones told me the same thing when he handed me a glass of Kool-Aid. 😤
This was so needed. I know way too many men who can’t have healthy relationships with friends and family due to having that “manly” ego instilled in them. Men are humans to. I can tell all you men that most women don’t find it attractive to be overly manly to the point where they have the emotions/personality of a rock. Like he said, balance is everything!
Agree totally and had similar experiences. My Mother taught me respect for other people and how to treat women as people not objects. It got muddled in my teens and early adulthood but in the end, my rearing won out. I am so grateful because I can respect and love my wife and both wings can fly.
I wish the men in my work office would hear this and wake up. My voice falls on deaf ears regardless of how many times I complained, and I’m seen as the one with all the issues, because I don’t join in on their filthy sexually harassing jokes against women, even in front of the women in my office.
LJ Swanepoel you are doing the right thing. Dont let them make you question yourself. You are the better human being
If more people hate that and express that in your office and everywhere, we don't need a speech like this..
I agree. But in my workplace is the opposite because my women co workers harass guys
LJ Swanepoel, Thank you for doing the right thing! I cant even start to say how many times I felt uncomfortable or harass, and honestly people like you made a difference and give us hope.
Because as it turns out not all of us buy into the feminist propaganda on display here. Some of us live in reality and have not been neutered by our gynocentric society.
Damn, this almost made me cry. Great talk.
tja patrik! hoppas du hade en bra jul och nyår. kram//marie
Stop crying lol. This video is dumb.
MAn up lol.
minh vu viet When did wamen lead ever?
Another indoctrinated victim of feminism literally calling for men to emasculate themselves.
I’m a man, and trust me this has inspired me deeply and can’t wait to implement. Following your “man enough” podcasts too. Keep going at it brother. 👊🏻👊🏻
youre never gonna get a woman acting like one
@@bigbirdmusic8199 you're a bird
@@void-hm2rh youre...not wrong
bayta, good luck with women because no woman likes a feminine man.
@@drakecliff8378 You couldn’t be any more wrong, even if you tried.
This is one of the most beautiful videos on manhood that exists. God bless Justin. He is such a good man with a healthy outlook on life and a beautiful family to match.
Run for President. I'll vote for you. You got the touch!!
This is why women voted for Trudeau, they care nothing about substance, anything goes a long as he's hot.
Jesus Satan
JESUS MAN you obviously see low of yourself, what do you have against this man? Are you mad he’s successful, happy, and living? You should go out for a walk, buy a pet and play with it, sit in the sun, go out for a hike and adventure!
@@adriannagrullon6035
Again with this absolute idiocy. There is proof that loads of women in Canada voted for Trudeau because he looked good looking to them. Your whole "Well your life just sucks lol" isn't gonna cut it here. He got voted in because of mainly of his "Because it's 2015" tagline when he was talking about women.
Let me flip this on your head. Would you date a man who wasn't successful, was depressed because he didn't know when he was gonna eat next, and was on the verge of putting his head in a noose just so the pain can finally end?
There is only two outcomes of this question by the way because it's equally as loaded as yours is to Jesus Satan.
If you say Yes: You're a flat out liar and you want to virtue signal.
If you say No: You are only proving that hypergamy is a thing and that women don't want to be with the weakest man on the planet. They want to be with successful, happy, and financially stable men.
KLM that is gay
@@simpletonapollo9723
As a woman, duh. Of course we want to be with a healthy and ambitious person. As a man (I'm assuming), you should want the same in a partner.
But that's irrelevant to what Jesus Satan implied. He said this actor has no substance and the girl would only vote for his looks. That's absurd. He obviously has substance and looks aren't important in leadership.
For all those people who are saying women don't need men and vice versa, guys that's not how things work. We are humans and we need each other and we must learn to coexist. To coexist, we need to learn to make peace with ourselves and not pretend and be something what we were taught or what the society wants us to be. He's encouraging men to embrace their weaknesses and talk about them, there's nothing non masculine about it. In fact it will be a better experience since you'll see that so many other men also go through the same things you do.
I worry we are breading a generation of weak minded people. What is weakness in fact? Fear? Pain? Ect...I could go on about this subject for hours but some people just need to grow a pair and put their foot down instead of expressing their "weakness".
Armen A. That's not what it is. Admitting that your weak doesn't make you weak. In fact admitting to your weakness makes you a strong person. You're strong enough to ask for help because you want to get better. Asking for help doesn't mean whining, complaining or cribbing about the issues. It means you talk to someone about what you're going through and ask for advice. Some people are so weak that they cannot admit to themselves that they need help and and keep it buried within themselves and suffer a lifetime. Don't you think it's better to ask for help instead of suffering in this manner?
Maria Reeves I agree to what you're saying. We need to handle that pain in a better and healthy way and understand that not all men are like this. Some men are, but by labelling them all bad is injustice done to decent men all over.
There has never been any scientific evidence that men as a group express themselves less then women as a group do. In my life many men have expressed there weakness to me and asked for help but no women has ever expressed any type of weakness or asked for my help at any point in my life. I am intelligent enough to understand that my personal experience cannot be generalized to an entire society, that is why I look to actual evidence when I think about society as whole. I have never seen any evidence that suggest women are any more expressive then women are and in all of these feminist papers and talks they never sight a single piece of data to support the idea that men express themselves less. All I am saying is we should stop stereotyping men based off of women's bias personal anecdotes about men.
He is not encouraging men to embrace there weakness, he is saying that men should "shut up and listen to women" and that "men are the problem".
Anuradha Gopal that’s not what the saying signifies. Women don’t need men to CARE for them. It just means that women can do work an make a living without men.
First I rejected to watch this video idk why. Then I made my mind to finally watch and learn from this. Funny at times but deep and serious. Thank you Justin Baldoni for your courage to stand up, to redefine the concept we have bred, to challenge the mindset. I admire those who question the society's takings. In this I also thank your father.
Now let's all together go to redefine the concepts we have been fed and help the bird to fly.
'Marriage is challenging but beautiful.'
--- Been married for 6 years now. Been through tough situations, patience has always been tested, but getting married is one of the best decisions I've ever made. It made me not just a better man, but a better human!
Patience grasshopper, wait until she dumps you and takes you for everything you've got.
I, a female, will take part in this challenge and be the solution. I will listen to all the men in my life and make sure they feel safe and secure. I already knew abou this problem, but it's high time we all do something to solve it.
"I will listen to all the men in my life and make sure they feel safe and secure."
While observing your sexual attraction to them goes doooooown.
Most men choose the be seen as potential partner more than having the comfort of being authentic. We can't have the cake and eat it.
@@Who_can_save_you_from_hell that isn't necessarily true lots of women say that they find vulnerability sexy. Besides being a good person and standing up for equality is more important than getting laid.
@@allyvandergaast8746 no it’s not
@@allyvandergaast8746 Do you have any studies to suggest that lots of women find it sexy? Studies by all clinical psychologist and anthropologist contradicts your claim.
@@timbergreenproperties9296 You really need a study to convince you to support gender equality. Or that to that the general opinion of most women I've talked to is that they want a nice guy who listens to them and is willing to be vulnerable.
im so in love with him.....his character is pure gold..
He's an actor. And he played his part: virtue-signalling to women, while talking other men down, uplifting himself.
From the outside it probably looks gold, inside he's still that little insecure kid, desperate to be accepted.
Yeah his character, his being good looking is irrelevant, isn't it
His wife is very lucky
@Nene Rawrs ? Apparently.
Strange he still feels the need to pander to women.
When will people realize we have both masculine and feminine energy and we naturally use both every day even if we ignore or pretend we don't. The definition of being a man is what you make it not what society makes it. Be you be who you want to be.
Wrong. It's women who decide what masculinity looks like, by the standards by which they select the men they find attractive. And vice versa, with men deciding what femininity looks like. It's called s3xual selection. If women liked men who displayed their emotions with every hurdle in their way, then men would've already been like that. So the fact that we're not, shows you the kind of men women select. But in order for people to accept this, they need to acknowledge that women have agency. And acknowledging women have agency goes against this trend of seeing women as nothing other than victims. So that's the point we're at right now...people preferring to seek solace in ideology, in stead of looking at our biology and evolution, which give us way more likely explanations for the things being what they are.
@@jaydamalley3398 you need to cope. Badly.
@@Trupera Project some more, why don't ya.
@@jaydamalley3398 2 things
1st don't generalize billions of people on 2 divisions because every human has different needs
2. You are in this comment section for like 7-10 months so go out of your basement and please touch grass ty
@@frankcastle1862 1st Get back to me when you understand you can generalize people without being prejudiced. Like I did, basing it on biology, evolution, evo-psych, stats, etc.
2nd Actually, it's getting up to 4 yrs now. But it's just 5 min at a time. Seems like much, I know, but it's ultimately not that much. This response, for example, only took me 1min. Your concern is touching, though.
Thank you brother @Justin Baldoni! I am one of those sensitive guys, and I am glad my parents did not tell me to be "man enough" - and luckily have had enough guys around me to accept me just as I am. Your talk made me remember a story from summer last year: I was asked by a friend to come to a men-only hike, but it felt strange to me to come with them, as I've been in mixed groups my whole life and restricting to one side felt artificial to me. But this talk has made me realize that it could be actually a good idea having me in male-only groups - as I could serve as a possible role model to sensitive "masculinity" (or human-ness). The friend who invited me has had his own struggles with his sensitive nature and the masculinity role model he has been grown into, and that hike was some kind of retreat to them to work on their self-conception.
This hit me hard as a guy who never felt excepted by other guys. I feel encouraged to be me and let positive vibes flow! 👌☺😅😭😂👍😰😱😁
If there are no guys that give you respect, that doesn't mean that you are worth it. It means you are boring. You got to work on yourself to be able to offer those positive vibes. The good doesn't just rush into your life when you abandon the bad.
Thanks, for replying. I do agree with you, to some extent.
It more likely is that people have had a certain expectation of you, and when you arent able to uphold "friends" false image, they backfire in some way, even though its not your fault.
I do not agree with skisful, as you didnt provide any specifics. But dont change yourself to appease others unless it so happens they want the same thing as you.
Mike Soo omg I have the very same problem
If people don't accept you for who you are...
Then they aren't worth it >x<
Juust...be who you are ❤️❤️❤️ And focus on those who love you for who you are ❤️❤️❤️
Incredible. I absolutely love this. Such a great message for men
Marni I got the F Formula and i am a little bit disappointed from you sending me the email of this video
I believe that i am as a men need the woman help me to Express and Explorer my emotional world ....
Buuuttttt ..
I resist to the fact that Feminist movement making the new generation of man's fucking puppies in conclusion I found this video just disempowering
Marni, I have schizophrenia and I would like to smoke marijuana. Do you know something about marijuana? Do you smoke marijuana? What to do? Can you help me?
This message was pathetic & completely ideological at its core. I do not believe for a goddamn second that this virtue-signalling fool has men's best interest at heart. He's there to pander to women's feelings. Nothing more.
@@user-nv1tb9uf5n I can't give you more than 1 like bro.. I'm sorry
@@SabatSch95 you've only proven his point my friend. Acknowledging womens problems isnt the same as pandering
"When will people realize we have both masculine and feminine energy and we naturally use both every day even if we ignore or pretend we don't. The definition of being a man is what you make it not what society makes it. Be you be who you want to be"
how is the definition of being a man what you make it
@@orangepeel1073 a male is someone with xy chromosomes but that doesnt mean you have to be heavily insecure about yourself to the point of refusing to cry at all times based on outdated false propaganda fed to you lol
In tears...
thank you, wish this could reach the ears and hearts of the men who need this.
It's interesting what he says about men having to be the "strong silent type"
I went to Japan and met a 74 year old Japanese man who grew up in post war Japan- He told me one of the reasons why he was so quiet was because when he was a young child, his parents told him "You're not a girl, you're a boy, stop talking so much and get to work". Of course, being in post war Japan, both men and women had to work very hard to fight the poverty caused by the war, so in reality, there wasn't much room for self reflection in general because of the work that needed be done to survive. However I think women had more freedom to express themselves vulnerably merely because they did not carry the burden of murder as their male companions had. This man's father was a soldier stationed in China, so his guilt and the loss of his comrades was too devastating to face by himself. Therefore, he overworked himself for self validation (aside from survival) and punished himself with alcohol. He slowly killed himself with alcohol and died at age 53, because he had no one to talk to who felt equipped to help him handle his traumas. At that time, when the soldier opened up, people told him to stop talking because it was too hard to hear. At some point in time, all cultures have been scarred by war- we are all just doing our best to heal and move on from the trauma that had been passed down through the generations- I asked my Japanese friend "are you okay?" often because that's how I was raised and he told me that no one asks him that- now it's become a thing between him and I, and we can talk about anything, without fear. He's a grandfather to me now. Sometimes, just asking"are you okay?" makes the world of difference.
Good example. Thanks for sharing!
That's why every country needs an R U OK? Day. In Australia we have a day called R U OK? Day where you just ask people how they're going because you could be one of the only people to ask them that. It encourages people to open up and have a chat about how they're really going.
@hope dean ... Yeah, another "-day" is really going to solve this.
How about you start advocating against feminist encroachment into male spaces, like the men sheds. Women have their spaces, and no-one is advocating to remove them. But every space that men have, or that are majority male, are subject to continuous ideologically-possessed attacks, because "they must be trying to keep women out, and so must be sexist!", or something. Claims like that, made without proof.
Men and women process their feelings differently. Men open up and deal with their emotions by DOING things. And one of the places that helped significantly with that is the men sheds, where men, particularly older and retired men, could come together, work on projects, in order to not become socially isolated.
And as I said, those are now subject to enforced changes by feminist screeching, and weak toadying men who support them, who don't think men need such spaces, or foolishly think they already must have enough of those.
How about you do something practical, rather than some meaningless idea of 'awareness-raising', like a once-a-year R U OK-day? Something that's only used for virtue-signalling, and to make people feel like they did something, when they in fact didn't. And maybe the fact that people need to be pointed out to ask men sometimes how they're doing, hints that this _problem_ goes way deeper than simply "men are raised like this, or told this", etc.
R U OK Day really does not do much. People don't always open up. Keep in mind that people will say "i'm fine" when someone asks. Simply asking unfortunately is never enough.
Very true, I think many of us have replied with "I'm fine" when we're really not and that's okay. If someone doesn't open up yet, they will in their own time when they're ready and when they feel it is necessary to be heard. Some people may not feel ready to be validated but showing that you're willing to validate their internal struggles by offering support can be helpful. You're definitely right though, it does take a lot more than a question to heal from past sufferings, but questioning is the first step.
At first i thought i never needed this video but i ended up watching it with tears. This is both humbling and empowering. Thank you, Justin! I adore you!
Thanks for sincere comment
@@ardsarya20 💜
No but for real though
This man just said what many men on this planet would shy away from. Respect ❤️
Thank you. I understand what you are going through and I'm glad I watched your talk.