Why Can't I Love My WIfe? | Nouman Ali Khan

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  • Опубліковано 12 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 443

  • @2livinjannah
    @2livinjannah Місяць тому +63

    My parents were married over 60 years, and to the last day of my mother's life, he was looking after her and speaking to her with kindness

    • @Apex4Predator7
      @Apex4Predator7 26 днів тому

      I wish i had parents like you , may ALLAH bless your mother and your family

    • @deniz57
      @deniz57 25 днів тому

      masallah

  • @shaleent-yl4yf
    @shaleent-yl4yf 3 місяці тому +152

    But for Me and my husband, this doesn’t seem to be true about the love or passion being there at the beginning of marriage. Our love has grown every day and our love is even more as 8 years passed by. Our passion, attraction to each other has also grown as time passed by. I never understood why people said at the beginning of marriage we are more attracted or loving, etc. My husband and I both feel we are more in love every day by Allah’s Rahmaah. A lot of times, We understand each other without even saying something. It’s like we just know what the other is thinking and feeling most of the time by Allah’s Will. Thankful to Allah for each other Alhamdulillah.

    • @selfpossessed3940
      @selfpossessed3940 3 місяці тому +12

      This is true for us also, its just the physical attraction they are talking about i think otherwise the understanding and compassion and care develops with time, and u spend more time together ,u grow together through thick n thin , and u get more habitual of staying together .. its me tenth year with my husband and i feel he is more caring towards me than he was when we got married

    • @soyabean-of9wz
      @soyabean-of9wz 2 місяці тому +3

      8 years is still too early

    • @norfendi6881
      @norfendi6881 2 місяці тому

      ​@@soyabean-of9wz 8 yrs is a long time and more than enough to know the truth of your spouse

    • @ninobadda3346
      @ninobadda3346 2 місяці тому +3

      That is so inspiring ❤

    • @EastWestLifeInsider
      @EastWestLifeInsider 2 місяці тому

      Alhamdulillah and always say Alhamdulillah..same here Alhamdulillah

  • @daniellatan9016
    @daniellatan9016 4 місяці тому +408

    Brothers and sisters, this wouldnt work when we have a narcissistic spouse. It only applies to normal, healthy relationships

    • @Muslima824
      @Muslima824 4 місяці тому +11

      I agree.

    • @daniellatan9016
      @daniellatan9016 4 місяці тому +9

      @@hm8489 it ain’t no marriage then😅

    • @daniellatan9016
      @daniellatan9016 4 місяці тому +44

      @@someone_somewhere_here i know most of us women want to save our marriages but remember our children are watching how we allow ourselves to be treated by our husbands. By enabling abuse, they form unhealthy relationship templates which they will bring into their own marriage. That was what happened in my family. Please get marriage counseling from your imam

    • @senadatabic197
      @senadatabic197 4 місяці тому

      @@someone_somewhere_hererun

    • @sohailsyed2374
      @sohailsyed2374 4 місяці тому +11

      Who diagnosed your spouse to be a narcissist?

  • @SamuelLee-kc3rh
    @SamuelLee-kc3rh 3 місяці тому +301

    Cool video, your channel is really an inspiration. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

    • @michael-gg2rh
      @michael-gg2rh 3 місяці тому +5

      its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

    • @SamuelLee-kc3rh
      @SamuelLee-kc3rh 3 місяці тому

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?

    • @michael-gg2rh
      @michael-gg2rh 3 місяці тому

      Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @SamuelLee-kc3rh
      @SamuelLee-kc3rh 3 місяці тому

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

    • @iqurram
      @iqurram 3 місяці тому +22

      You know it's an islamic channel and no one will fall for these bot scams here.

  • @JC-pw4gh
    @JC-pw4gh 4 місяці тому +113

    Jzkl, alhumdulilah married for 40 years mashaAllah and this advice is very beneficial to me and others inshaAllah

    • @nadeemlakha8509
      @nadeemlakha8509 4 місяці тому +1

      Ameen

    • @skorpian3490
      @skorpian3490 2 місяці тому

      Lemme do some detective work here…married for 40 yrs, means ure a nice person and a “keeper” hell even top curtois, means ure from a humble background, and those humble backgrounds be marrying early so u were 20 when u got married means ure 60 now thas cool

  • @petal21
    @petal21 4 місяці тому +84

    Whwnever I try to respectfully a lovingly express my views on some matter in which we have a difference in opinion, my husband doesn't let me finish talking and he he just says don't argue with me and he gets angry and I stay quiet. I stopped being expressive and I thing ten times before I say anything even if it was something good. Because his mood detects how he treats me and his mood flips in out of the blue. May Allah guide us all to the right path

    • @lifevalue360
      @lifevalue360 4 місяці тому +3

      Ameen

    • @laskwkxkwkd
      @laskwkxkwkd 4 місяці тому +18

      May ALLAH change him and make your marriage better❤

    • @petal21
      @petal21 4 місяці тому +2

      @@laskwkxkwkd آمين

    • @mohammadajajuddin3556
      @mohammadajajuddin3556 4 місяці тому +2

      ameen

    • @ameerahtata4823
      @ameerahtata4823 4 місяці тому +6

      May Allah make things work for you and change him for the better. Did you try therapy for marriage

  • @nargizaturaeva7285
    @nargizaturaeva7285 4 місяці тому +93

    Please don’t forget, your wife is not only a wife, but a mother for your 4-5 children, and so please help her to take care of herself.. Do you think they like to harm their husbands… 😢

    • @rustysky81
      @rustysky81 4 місяці тому +7

      4-5 children? In this economy do you not have any Shame at all to bring 4 to 5 children? What kind of a human being are you?

    • @oosmanbeekawoo
      @oosmanbeekawoo 3 місяці тому +24

      Have respect or observe silence. If you have difficulty in conceiving may Allah bless you. But don't downtalk others for their opinions.

    • @Beavusnbutheads
      @Beavusnbutheads 3 місяці тому

      ​@@oosmanbeekawoowe are over populated to be fair

    • @rustysky81
      @rustysky81 Місяць тому +1

      @@oosmanbeekawoo I don’t have any difficulty conceiving but I’m also not an animal. I’m a living breathing thinking human being. I will speak out my mind when I see people in my community have children like rabbits. It is disgusting. Not only it is disgusting but also unethical. People in this day and age who do this are behaving like animals not a thinking rational human being.

    • @muhammadnaveed657
      @muhammadnaveed657 Місяць тому

      ​@rustysky81 you're a pos. You have no right whatsoever to tell people what to do or not. Having children is a basic human right and is legal, regardless of day and age. They can have as many children as they like and can handle. No one, including the stage/government have any right to stop them from it.

  • @self-sufficient9315
    @self-sufficient9315 4 місяці тому +41

    In general Women are expressive and deep and they undersand matters with instincts and life teachings, they feel more.. you cannot call them complicated.. only some men with lacking that understanding would say that...(where as men in general are practicle)... so it is this difference that needs to have a balance for a smooth living.. because not everyone gets a partner 100% compatible to overcome their own weekness that they are unable to deal in a positive light.. so the guidance is necessary from the right person.

    • @fathersunglasses6085
      @fathersunglasses6085 4 місяці тому

      💯

    • @apachekafka773
      @apachekafka773 2 місяці тому

      Women are not expressive. They want you to read their mind without communicating. When you ask they refuse to speak.

  • @blackrose-zl1yk
    @blackrose-zl1yk 3 місяці тому +40

    It is the utmost responsibility of parents to teach their sons to treat everyone equally and respectfully. Just because men desire women, we cannot let it be. If men are taught how to control and behave themselves, then marriages will be happier, crimes like rape and molestation would decrease and no women would have to compromise to stay in a loveless marriage.

    • @Beavusnbutheads
      @Beavusnbutheads 3 місяці тому

      It's a problem in all cultures porn and putting men in all power positions and no real consequences, it's male culture to devalue esp older women and it's up to society to stop capitalism and patriarchal systems to make women poor desperate and men seeing certain vulnerable women as pray virgin or whore until men respect women for more than being a wife or mother respect them as a full capable intelligent human being that they can befriend and real consequences for those that sexually abused or exploit poverty we need strong men to lead and those men need to be shoulder to shoulder with wiser women not beneath them because you can't respect women if you see them as a forever Clueless child with nothing to offer but a womb.

    • @tiana5374
      @tiana5374 3 місяці тому +4

      I was struggling to put my thoughts into words, but your comment said it all.
      This video made me uncomfortable, and I have a lot more on my mind, but can't quite express it.

    • @Tulipsaki
      @Tulipsaki 2 місяці тому +3

      ​@tiana5374 it's made me very uncomfortable. I'm glad that I avoid men.

    • @skorpian3490
      @skorpian3490 2 місяці тому +2

      Exactly this shi elementary for me…cuz i wus taught this by my mum frm an early age…molding me into a perfect human from every aspect

    • @atiachowdhury3734
      @atiachowdhury3734 27 днів тому

      ​@@Tulipsaki Women cheat Just as much in this modern age. I am afraid of the same thing you are, and I am a man. I want someone who keeps the distance from the opposite sex the same way I do. But looking how shameless today's women are, it feels unrealistic. I have been proposed for haram relationships from women who are in full niqab. And now I don't want to get married. Because being cheated on hurts a man more than a woman..

  • @HabeebullahIslamicscholar
    @HabeebullahIslamicscholar 4 місяці тому +21

    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
    Best lecture by Nouman Ali Khan sir ,I have been trying to say this my friends and family members since a long time, Myself Habeeb ullah Nadwi,I am an Islamic studies & Arabic language educator,I put all the things what Nouman sir is saying in this video but they didn't understand me ,Now I will show them this video, Jazakallah khair for your good lectures sir .

  • @samsungg456
    @samsungg456 4 місяці тому +78

    How can a wife smile to a husband who never took care of her in the moat difficult times, cheated, betrayed her and not ashamed or sorry for that. Such marriages are nothing but compromise.

    • @nursyakirahshahar9312
      @nursyakirahshahar9312 3 місяці тому +10

      There are husbands who don't know how to appreciate their wife. But remember, not all husbands are like that.

    • @inneralpha
      @inneralpha 3 місяці тому +3

      Is that an assumption of all men or just your experience? Maybe use a smaller brush if you are going to paint a picture like that. You are pointing to a negative scenario for what reason exactly? Last time I checked, wives can and have done the same thing, but I'm not going to point it out for no reason especially if it doesn't benefit anyone. I think most people have the common sense to know that is wrong.

    • @samsungg456
      @samsungg456 3 місяці тому +1

      @@inneralpha a wife , a husband . . . Mean certain cases. It's very common though.

    • @samsungg456
      @samsungg456 3 місяці тому +3

      @@nursyakirahshahar9312 did i say ALL MEN?

    • @MAhmd1460
      @MAhmd1460 3 місяці тому +1

      Tried my best to relate your comment with what’s been said in this video but I must admit it’s vastly out of context. Video is about normal husband/wife relationships in society not the one you have brought fwd. however, i do have my sympathies with you

  • @olaiwonbolanle6762
    @olaiwonbolanle6762 4 місяці тому +18

    May Allah SWT help us have a Good Marital life. May Allah SWT forgive us all and have mercy on all of us. May Allah SWT help the people of Palestine. May Allah SWT forgive all the Muslims and make from the unbelievers, Believers.

  • @snickersway452
    @snickersway452 3 місяці тому +19

    I came home from work, and my husband had the frown and it was awful 😭 I am still bitter about him doing that to me while I was working and pregnant

    • @bigbee3289
      @bigbee3289 2 місяці тому +4

      im disgusted that your husband made you work while pregnant

    • @skorpian3490
      @skorpian3490 2 місяці тому

      Wat does he do?…u shoulda told em we ain havin no juniors(kids) till tht junior paycheck of ures is able to afford me and junior

  • @fc849
    @fc849 3 місяці тому +26

    A man can be happy in his marriage and he will still look around . A wife can do anything for him and he will still look. 😢

    • @Saba-k3e
      @Saba-k3e 2 місяці тому +1

      So true 😒

    • @Shinobu2506.
      @Shinobu2506. 2 місяці тому

      💯👍☹️

    • @AfrinBustani
      @AfrinBustani Місяць тому +2

      So true, very true. So many cases around us. Especially in Desi culture.

    • @atiachowdhury3734
      @atiachowdhury3734 27 днів тому

      Women cheat Just as much in this modern age. I am afraid of the same thing you are, and I am a man. I want someone who keeps the distance from the opposite sex the same way I do.

  • @rabishawaal
    @rabishawaal 4 місяці тому +49

    but how can a wife gives a smile when husband ignores her and prefers friends more then family. she just learns to cope with this by ignoring him as well and not caring when he is coming or going from home.

    • @piqueny8872
      @piqueny8872 4 місяці тому

      Men are easy seduce him in subtle ways leading to the bedroom
      Act like his therapist listen communicate and treat him like a baby aka food
      Plan dates together

    • @hakiimsmuhammad8451
      @hakiimsmuhammad8451 4 місяці тому +2

      do something for the world..
      instead of anticipating..
      nobody ever can never control of other peoples feelings..thats Allahs job.

    • @afrinsultana7720
      @afrinsultana7720 4 місяці тому +5

      Make a dua to have love and happiness between you two for ever and ever.. may Allah bless you and make things easy for you!

    • @rabouala
      @rabouala 4 місяці тому +9

      This video works under the condition that there was love and good will as first ingrédients to the marriage. It doesn’t work if there was no love to begin with.

    • @piqueny8872
      @piqueny8872 4 місяці тому +4

      @@rabouala marriage is about respect compassion compromise communication
      Love happens after the love language is noted
      A brother I know personally his love language is acts of service if his wife doesn’t appreciate that he feels unloved
      So words don’t mean anything if the attention attitude is always a negative result

  • @xtaz666
    @xtaz666 4 місяці тому +87

    the more a lower my gaze the more i find my wife attractive

  • @rabouala
    @rabouala 4 місяці тому +25

    Hamdoulilah for our husbands who compliment and show us affection when we are pregnant exhausted and too tired to do our hair or makeup. These men are gems. May Allah rewards them and make us want to make it up to them ❤

  • @Litestay
    @Litestay 2 місяці тому +4

    La ilaha illallah
    Subhanallah 💕💕💕
    Alhamdulillah 💕💕💕
    Allah hu Akbar 💕💕💕

  • @dianahita9870
    @dianahita9870 4 місяці тому +58

    The woman sacrifices more than men when they get married...taking care of children and husband and housework is not an easy matter that sometimes wives still blame if married didn't work well but only to find out that husband had new one...

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 3 місяці тому +8

      But the wife is not the only one to take care of the kids, the husband should as well , there's a reason why he has the title father

    • @jinhub2175
      @jinhub2175 3 місяці тому

      I wish I was a man. It's like everything in this world is in favour of men. Women are only expected to compromise and sacrifice, it's sad.

    • @inneralpha
      @inneralpha 3 місяці тому +8

      A marriage has nothing to do with ego or who does "more" or "less." It's a partnership and there should be some baseline and standards. You compensate for each other's weakness. None of those things you mentioned are easy and I can only imagine what child birth is like. However, if one party doesn't watch their ego, I can only imagine tension getting out of hand.

    • @dekacchann
      @dekacchann 3 місяці тому

      @@purplelove3666yea tell that to men. Majority think it’s women’s job to raise the children. Then they take the child out to a play park for an hour and think that’s raising while the wife does the hardest part.
      These men have ONE measly job. ONE. And they get to rest when they come home. While the wife works multiple. She’s a cook, a maid, a babysitter, a personal assistant.. 24/7 job.
      They should Google how much would cost for them to hire all these 4 people and then they’d realise how much more wives are worth than they are.

    • @docprof-pi6bx
      @docprof-pi6bx 2 місяці тому +1

      its not a competition, its a marriage!
      first read and learn what a marriage is really and what it takes to live in one.

  • @patriotlightning7791
    @patriotlightning7791 4 місяці тому +4

    Allahu Akbar ! ❤ SubhanAllah ! ❤ El Hamdoulillah ! ❤ La ilaha illa Allah ! ❤ How Patient and Kind Allah has been with me ! ❤

  • @Gebruiker101
    @Gebruiker101 3 місяці тому +9

    We live in a time where there isnt even love before marriage, let alone after

    • @MuftiAbdurRahman-rd1ke
      @MuftiAbdurRahman-rd1ke 2 місяці тому

      Assalamualaikum. I am Mufti Abdurrahman Abdulawal, and I have been educated in various authentic Islamic institution, including memorizing the Quran from Masjid Nabawi in the prophet’s city of Medina, graduating with honors after being among the top ten memorizers of the Holy Quran. Since then, I have become an Islamic scholar, and studied hadith and jurisprudence under renowned scholars, and right now, I am a teacher at Darul Quran WasSunnah and a member of the Sharia Board of New York.
      And I am also married, so I feel it is incumbent upon me to enlighten some people about the proper way to discuss marital relations. I wanted to highlight one important point. Islam teaches that we were created to worship and obey Allah and His Messenger. Our Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) lived by this principle, and even though he could have become very wealthy by doing a lot of business, he chose to remain in poverty until his death. Believers were not sent to this world for enjoying luxuries. Indulgence in any sort of excessive pleasures is counterproductive for human beings.
      Due to our own indulgence, and following the practice of the non-Muslims and getting obsessed with sexual activities, there are thousands of Saudi Arabian youths, Kuwait youngsters, Qatari men and women, elderly entrepreneurs from Oman and Bahrain, and even scientists from Indonesia and Malaysia, Africa and India, are now being most severely tortured in CIA’s Bush-era interrogation programs, that are until today, operating in secrecy in many European countries. People are leaving Islam in hordes because they are disgusted by our obsession with sex. Did you ever see a Christian priest or a Jewish rabbi uploads such shameless video about sexual actions? Who do you think Allah will allow into paradise? Muslims are being warned by Allah to be sensible. You know, I just returned from refugee camps housing Muslims Myanmar's victims. I saw over one million Muslim women have been assaulted sexually, and their children were burned in front of them. And here we are, a bunch of Muslim are sitting here, uploading videos about how to please their own spouses. How about uploading a video about how those women's private parts have been dishonored? Have a heart, for Allah’s sake, and mention how their children are being assaulted in front of them?

  • @a.s.1951
    @a.s.1951 4 місяці тому +5

    This is great advice for couples. Thank you Shaykh

  • @lucillab9033
    @lucillab9033 3 місяці тому +21

    It doesn't work with me at all ! Silence makes us women feel abandoned and ignored.
    Sorry, brother, but this is so wrong !
    We need to be reassured .
    We need hugs, and we need to be sure that he is listening to us and ask us how they can help. Husbands must above all
    Keep the communication open and be soft with us.

    • @docprof-pi6bx
      @docprof-pi6bx 2 місяці тому +2

      yea, but the main problem structure is in the thinking of women today in this point. YOU think like a woman, but completely forget that a Man thinks like a man, and could not do otherwise. So while you think like a woman and await the same thinking response from a Man, you as a woman get angry and disappointed why a MAN thinks different and it does not fit in to your woman thinking.
      that simple, it sounds more complicated as it is because everybody thinks man and woman are the same, but we are not the same, only equality in right in front of God the allmighty

    • @Shinobu2506.
      @Shinobu2506. 2 місяці тому

      👍❤️💯

    • @bigbee3289
      @bigbee3289 2 місяці тому +1

      @@docprof-pi6bx id rather marry a woman than deal with this bullshit

    • @skorpian3490
      @skorpian3490 2 місяці тому +1

      Doc pretty much explained it…u cant js expect him to magically know something without talking and communication, sit him down for once goddamit

    • @ayanoyamada2051
      @ayanoyamada2051 Місяць тому +1

      @@docprof-pi6bx that is still not any justification though. in the end men are still as cognitive-thinking humans as women are and if sex determines purely on the thinking, i cant imagine why loyalty in a marriage even exists in the first place

  • @khanfamily3756
    @khanfamily3756 3 місяці тому +30

    We wives imagine that our husbands are our hero... But when we see they can't deal with simple things, romance vanished. So how can we fake smile .

    • @MAhmd1460
      @MAhmd1460 3 місяці тому +3

      People can only be a better version of themselves but never be what we want them to be. I would replace ‘Romance’ with ownership and affection and care for each other as this is the only thing that lasts after the first yr of marriage (if both have some degree of sense)

    • @biloo2007
      @biloo2007 2 місяці тому

      Women are stubborn too that's what confirmed by women comments on this video

  • @Young_z_dawah
    @Young_z_dawah 2 місяці тому

    Masha'Allah, this is so profound wallahi that's Allah s'w'a decreed that marriage complete help of Ibadah.

  • @naseemchesthi6879
    @naseemchesthi6879 4 місяці тому +5

    Very nice lecture everyone should understand jazakallah khair

  • @AsmaAsma-jw1dv
    @AsmaAsma-jw1dv 3 місяці тому +8

    What about when the wife does everything, sometimes even beyond what she would normally do, knowing how tired she is and how its effecting her, all whilst the husband comes from work and compliments other women but has never acknowledged her work for him or complimented her. Over time how can a woman still be smiling, this will just create an automatic space.

  • @scp1574
    @scp1574 3 місяці тому +2

    Thankyou so much for this

  • @MuqadasAmeen-rw6dn
    @MuqadasAmeen-rw6dn 3 місяці тому +3

    Smile is not expensive😊

    • @Shinobu2506.
      @Shinobu2506. 2 місяці тому +2

      Not for an injustice husband

    • @All-purposefacts
      @All-purposefacts 2 місяці тому +2

      Smiling is also an expensive thing. Many people in thos world can't smile

  • @arminaebrahimsulaiman738
    @arminaebrahimsulaiman738 4 місяці тому +10

    There should at all times be respect, understanding, honesty, and love between the husband and wife. When you start a family it will rub off onto your child or children. Couples should work together and not against each other. Whether the wife is à stay at home wife. Chores should be shared, irrespective of whether the husband is working. A wife does the most unpaid job. I trained my sons and daughters to be helpful to their partners.
    Disagreement between partners is because of house chores and raising the kids. Couples must raise their kids together. Discipline between couples and their children is vitally important.
    I think Nouman Ali is bad-mouthing a woman. A wife is not the servant of her husband. If everything runs smoothly and the husband respects his wife, there will never be unhappiness. The wife will gladly do her duty as a wife.

  • @nina29600
    @nina29600 2 місяці тому +2

    I have done everything right, I never talked back or have shown anger towards my husband but he has been cruel to me as soon as we signed the marriage documents. Nearly 5 years now and he has left me living with my family and has never spent a penny on me or even taken me out for a coffee.

  • @muhammadnaveed657
    @muhammadnaveed657 Місяць тому

    Subhan Allah - we managed to come up with arguments and negative comments on this too. The very thing hes talking about in the video. May Allab have mercy on us all.

  • @elhamelshant7182
    @elhamelshant7182 4 місяці тому +16

    Hope my husband could watch this! 😭

    • @mrsamirza4392
      @mrsamirza4392 4 місяці тому +1

      U can share sister

    • @yasminzubair5016
      @yasminzubair5016 3 місяці тому

      ​@@mrsamirza4392Some Husbands Don't Watch Even If You Share Unfortunately

  • @AC-qp3ms
    @AC-qp3ms 4 місяці тому +2

    SUBHANALLAHI WABIHAMDIHI, Aameen.

  • @MaryamAli-tv3dg
    @MaryamAli-tv3dg 4 місяці тому +8

    in a hadith reported by Abu Hurayrah from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “Whoever glorifies Allah (says Subhan Allah ) thirty-three times immediately after each prayer, and praises Allah (says Al-hamdu Lillah) thirty-three times, and magnifies Allah (says Allahu akbar) thirty-three times, this makes ninety-nine, then to complete one hundred says La ilaha ill-Allah wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulk wa lahul-hamd wa huwa ‘ala kulli shayin qadir (There is no god except Allah Alone, with no partner, His is the power and His is the praise, and He is Able to do all things) his sins will be forgiven even if they are like the foam of the sea.” (Reported by Muslim, 939).

  • @TheSoliDude
    @TheSoliDude 3 місяці тому +1

    Just like brother said in the video, please take the good and positive from the video.

  • @minakhay7190
    @minakhay7190 2 місяці тому +1

    I understand the concept of silence so as not to escalate an argument, but communication is important. Stonewalling till the wife thinks it's her fault? This feels like it wouldn't be good for the relationship in the long term.

  • @ssebugwawoismael1033
    @ssebugwawoismael1033 3 місяці тому

    Shukran

  • @Jannah338
    @Jannah338 3 місяці тому +2

    Communication and therapy

  • @NasrinSultana-oo9hr
    @NasrinSultana-oo9hr 3 місяці тому +2

    Strange but true that sometimes such scholars go through divorce themselves 😢

    • @ibadath4027
      @ibadath4027 3 місяці тому

      Is he divorced?😮 How is it possible

    • @ajmalagha8695
      @ajmalagha8695 2 місяці тому +1

      He's a human, not a prophet. He's not free from errors.

    • @Shinobu2506.
      @Shinobu2506. 2 місяці тому

      @@ibadath4027omg,he is a human 😱

  • @aminashaikh9729
    @aminashaikh9729 4 місяці тому +7

    That's true message. Jazzkallah Khair.

  • @Aggguilio
    @Aggguilio 4 місяці тому +5

    I love the way he speaks 😂

  • @ahmednajam7770
    @ahmednajam7770 3 місяці тому +1

    if people understand self worth aswell as they understand that they should not say that they are useless because that is just dark... because you are not calling yourself useless but you instead are calling the creation of Allah useless (Allah is perfect, his creations are undeniably perfect, he (S.T) does not make mistakes), have some hold and value of urself... look onto how much you mean to everyone about everything... try to be someone who just does not expects anything instead he/she should be the one doing something that is unexpected and beautiful for the others, and literally literally all it takes is one step and one sacrifice and one spark.. and then just see how how a ray of light will enter your life like a flower blossoming into the sun for the first time

  • @paperlappap
    @paperlappap 3 місяці тому +2

    This is probably just an excerpt from one of his lectures. What he says is not wrong. Of course, the same applies the other way round. A woman wants to be cared for and valued just as much, and a man's silence can become torture, precisely because she relates it to herself, even if the reason is completely different.
    Respect for the other person's personality, care and, above all, trust are the basis of every happy relationship.

  • @fatimaaminasyeda4616
    @fatimaaminasyeda4616 12 днів тому

    Yes ...bt in islam...evry good and reward comes frm patience,marriage s not easy ,umrah s not easy ,kids are not eeasy hajj...s not easy bt indeed allah never said to be m abusive relationship..allah heal all of us who r going bad ...n gve the reward to their kids n hereafter whttevr we do....its n allah hand who can chnge

  • @AyatAttar-rv2jc
    @AyatAttar-rv2jc 4 місяці тому +1

    beautifully elaborated

  • @marah_33
    @marah_33 Місяць тому +1

    reading these comments i don't feel sad about being single anymore 😂

  • @hinakhan7657
    @hinakhan7657 3 місяці тому +3

    I gave my best but he stabbed me in my back. My kindness is misused against me.

  • @rekiahannani
    @rekiahannani 4 місяці тому

    شكرا جزيلا على هذه النصائح 🎉❤🎉

  • @rice78692
    @rice78692 3 місяці тому +2

    Good lecture

  • @janetjatta7945
    @janetjatta7945 2 місяці тому

    MashAllah

  • @FarhiaFarah-wg5qe
    @FarhiaFarah-wg5qe 2 місяці тому

    Quality Real ValuE right , Familyyyyyy Respect

  • @ajmalagha8695
    @ajmalagha8695 2 місяці тому

    Marriage is not a competition. It's a relationship! A team effort, there's no he or she contributes more. Rather, they both complement by investing their own knowledge, strengths, and responsibilities that were assigned to them by Allāh and his Nabi Sallalāllhu Alyhe Wa Sallam, and not those by society and family.
    The purpose of marriage is to help us to facilitate the pleasure of Allāh and his Nabi Sallalāllhu Alyhe Wa Sallam more smoothly, efficiently, and proactively provided we follow the guidelines given to us in the Qur’ān & Sunnah.
    The longevity of the marriage is contingent on the above-mentioned points, and most of all, our level of Taqwā (God awareness).

  • @goldenashtv5136
    @goldenashtv5136 4 місяці тому

    Jazakallahu khair

  • @MrStraight2It
    @MrStraight2It 11 днів тому

    This is so true

  • @nadeemlakha8509
    @nadeemlakha8509 4 місяці тому

    Great advice ustaad

  • @mohammedkaleemkhan9585
    @mohammedkaleemkhan9585 4 місяці тому

    ماشاء الله تبارك الله

  • @ambareekhushboo4525
    @ambareekhushboo4525 3 місяці тому +1

    Ass Salaamo Alaikum Warahmatullahe Wabarkaatahu
    Jazakallaho Khairan. Alhumdolillah we are good couple since 17yrs

  • @MuqadasAmeen-rw6dn
    @MuqadasAmeen-rw6dn 3 місяці тому +1

    Marriage is all about morality.❤❤❤

  • @soul11134
    @soul11134 3 місяці тому +2

    if he doesn't care if I smile if I beautiful or well dressed.

  • @OneTruthOnly1
    @OneTruthOnly1 3 місяці тому +2

    It's crazy how I see a lot of woman suffering in their marriages in the comments. Man forgot to be man. If the wife truly takes care of her man then I don't understand why these men are searching things outside of their marriage or don't pay enough attention to their wife.. I have been alone most of my life and I was never seen by people. If I would be married I would not give her one oppurtunity to feel she is alone, since I know that terrible feeling. These man want to marry but as soon as they marry they don't give the attention to the wife she deserves..

  • @Nessa_mae
    @Nessa_mae 3 місяці тому +1

    Husbands and wives need to realize their partner sacrifices as much as they do. Allah is the greatest and very fair. Both of you choose to fulfill your duties, and everything works out. Ladies, our husbands can’t protect us if we’re not submissive to them.

  • @cashi4225
    @cashi4225 Місяць тому

    Thank you. Nice advice. I practice it. Eventhou my husband don't want to touch me ( because i am getting bigger cause my asthma medicine), he still do not want to leave me or get another wife. In Indonesia, polygamy need court decision to acknowledge by law. Alhamdulillah.

  • @rice78692
    @rice78692 3 місяці тому +1

    Wow true 😢

  • @RainbowAych
    @RainbowAych Місяць тому +3

    The man is “building resentment” because he is a coward. Y does he not mention to his wife what he would like from her? He could try saying “hey, it would mean a lot to me if you did this or that”.
    There is no excuse for resentment to build because of expectations that the husband had, meanwhile the wife was not aware of it.
    ‏لا حول ولا قوة الا بالله

  • @HidayaAli-u1d
    @HidayaAli-u1d 4 місяці тому +2

    He tells men to leave their wives but there are women who leave their husbands

  • @naseerrafiq913
    @naseerrafiq913 2 місяці тому

    Say ALHAMDULILLAH

  • @sammoe4321
    @sammoe4321 4 місяці тому +17

    It's all natural. Men do rational thinking better If needed and women do emotional thinking better If needed ❤
    (Sry 4 my English)

    • @desertmoonlee6631
      @desertmoonlee6631 4 місяці тому +7

      All human beings are emotional. Anger is an emotion as well and men get far more angry and jump in fights instead of being rational. It depend of each person.

    • @afrinsultana7720
      @afrinsultana7720 4 місяці тому +1

      Not always true.

    • @sammoe4321
      @sammoe4321 4 місяці тому +2

      @@afrinsultana7720 of course not ... but funny 2 see who feels attacked by my comment. Emotional ♥️✌🏽... This is how Humans are created!

    • @afrinsultana7720
      @afrinsultana7720 4 місяці тому +6

      @@sammoe4321 no bro. If that were the case, then there would be no men suicides. In fact men suicides are more than women's. I have seen many in my lifetime men falling into haraam things only because of "emotions". I don't want to argue more. Take it or leave it.

    • @sammoe4321
      @sammoe4321 4 місяці тому

      @@afrinsultana7720 I leave it. that's not an argument. that's is your understanding. why you think men have no emotions? think about it. I think you misunderstood what I wrote.
      Slm

  • @ZubairM-qk2im
    @ZubairM-qk2im 2 місяці тому

    i have give up to watch such videos where their is a discussion on healthy and attractive and happy married life because Both partners should learn how to keep the married life happy and peaceful,, Such videos only increase my frustration and stress level

  • @CriticalNoodleMind
    @CriticalNoodleMind Місяць тому

    I'm tired of trying to make mine a happy one.

  • @nuhabashir1672
    @nuhabashir1672 10 днів тому +1

    So your saying, its ok for men not to lower their gaze.

  • @rubabjaved6416
    @rubabjaved6416 3 місяці тому

    In my case it is my MIL in a recent incident she told her son to slap me in front of the whole restaurant because I offered him a spoon from my plate. He didn't did that but the way he was un bothered by those words still sting me. He explained that she was joking because she thinks of you as her daughter.

    • @ireallydontknow-h7c
      @ireallydontknow-h7c 3 місяці тому +1

      Oh no, if you are treated like this more oftenly then you need to address this to your husband and tell him that it makes you upset and if your MIL does that again then just say to her that you didn't like what she said and it hurt you. And if things get worse...then you can plan to leave or resolve,it's up to you. May Allah guide us all Ameen.

  • @kenzaameur5628
    @kenzaameur5628 2 місяці тому

    زين للناس وليس زين للرجال. هناك فرق.

  • @shrrannabannaetc7545
    @shrrannabannaetc7545 4 місяці тому +4

    Can you please kindly speak a little bit slower its too fast Noman Sir . Assalamualaykum . Good inform anyways. Jazaak Allah khairan.

    • @Xtine72
      @Xtine72 4 місяці тому +4

      Alhamdulilah You can play it back at a slower speed. Hope that helps

  • @nagihancalskan7454
    @nagihancalskan7454 4 місяці тому +4

    Caption in wrong. Its possible to being in love with your wife or husband after marriage.

    • @mariamndagire3440
      @mariamndagire3440 4 місяці тому

      He didn't say it wasn't possible

    • @nagihancalskan7454
      @nagihancalskan7454 4 місяці тому

      @@mariamndagire3440 Im talking about the caption, not his speech.

    • @rabouala
      @rabouala 4 місяці тому

      It’s possible but it is rare. It’s a gift from Allah that love prevails throughout a marriage but most marriages need to rely on mercy forgiveness and 3ibada and patience

  • @Ryan-mr4xl
    @Ryan-mr4xl 4 місяці тому +13

    If both are mature than the relationship last longer bc its not just ppl’s fault but the media which shows that having a partner always brings happiness and when ppm dont see that in their relationship they start thinking maybe we were not meant for each other and move on. Ppl need to let go of this childish mentality and think like a mature adult, everything has pros and cons nothing is always good or brings happiness, also couples need to stop comparing their relationship with other couples which destroys their relationship.

    • @Warde-Adams
      @Warde-Adams 2 місяці тому +1

      Well said. The Gras always seems always greener on the other side sadly. And then we lose everything.

    • @Ryan-mr4xl
      @Ryan-mr4xl 2 місяці тому +2

      @@Warde-Adams im gladly married for 7 years with 3 kids and we rarely get into arguments and we always forget it the next day. There are many ups and downs but only ppl who survive longer are the ones who understand relationships and dont get manipulated by media.

  • @riseofpotatonation
    @riseofpotatonation 2 місяці тому

    What hadith talks about treating wives or women with silence? I see patience but couldn't find silence

  • @dreamy_world_786
    @dreamy_world_786 4 місяці тому

    Disbelievers say on the day of judgement,
    " Ya Allah, please send me back "
    Ya Allah, please forgive our sins, not because we deserve it, but because you are most forgiving and most merciful, so please forgive us.
    Ya Allah, we have wronged ourselves and if you do not forgive us and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.
    Ya Allah, protect us from the punishment of the grave.
    Ya Allah, protect us from the torment of the hellfire on the day of judgement.
    Ya Allah, please grant us Jannatul Firdaus through your mercy.
    My dear brothers and sisters, say this with me...
    I am pleased with Allah as my Lord.
    I am pleased with Islam as my Religion.
    I am pleased with Muhammad (saw) as my Prophet.
    Allahu Akbar
    Alhamdulillah
    Subhanallah
    La ilaha illallah
    Muhammad ur Rasoolallah (saw)

  • @3boys1family
    @3boys1family 3 місяці тому

    Ameen

  • @mohamedrafi9748
    @mohamedrafi9748 4 місяці тому +5

    I'm not Married✔️

  • @SoldierX-Gamer
    @SoldierX-Gamer 15 годин тому

    My ex wife got fat and never did anything about it I lost my attraction to her as I dont like big girls i never have but I know we're not allowed to get fat.

  • @SAQification
    @SAQification 3 місяці тому

    and the women who work?? or the house wives who attend to home and kids all day to the level of frustration should smile at the husband for stepping inside home after kids sleep???

  • @mohammadshah7211
    @mohammadshah7211 4 місяці тому +2

    Most men lowkey want multiple spouses because that’s the way Allah created us but some men r just in denial so they think their wife is not the right one for them

    • @desertmoonlee6631
      @desertmoonlee6631 4 місяці тому

      You are looking for excuse to cheat. Men are allowed to have multiple wives only if they were orphans from war who lost their husbands and family and someone to take care of them financially and be equal about that. If you want to commit injustice and sins go ahead.

    • @ajmalagha8695
      @ajmalagha8695 2 місяці тому

      Marriage is not a competition. It's a relationship! A team effort, there's no he or she contributes more. Rather, they both complement by investing their own knowledge, strengths, and responsibilities that were assigned to them by Allāh and his Nabi Sallalāllhu Alyhe Wa Sallam, and not those by society and family.
      The purpose of marriage is to help us to facilitate the pleasure of Allāh and his Nabi Sallalāllhu Alyhe Wa Sallam more smoothly, efficiently, and proactively provided we follow the guidelines given to us in the Qur’ān & Sunnah.
      The longevity of the marriage is contingent on the above-mentioned points, and most of all, our level of Taqwā (God awareness).

    • @bigbee3289
      @bigbee3289 2 місяці тому +1

      men should marry each other since they all have that point of view, MEN are most compatible with men.

    • @mohammadshah7211
      @mohammadshah7211 2 місяці тому

      @@bigbee3289 why would men marry eachother when Allah has not put that desire in them Allah put desire for women in men and I dont like to say this desire for not just one but multiple women

  • @khadijaaziz4832
    @khadijaaziz4832 Місяць тому

    What if the wife works and comes home to a stay home husband?

  • @ongoingness
    @ongoingness 4 місяці тому +1

    Too simplistic, with all due respect.

  • @urwaabbas6364
    @urwaabbas6364 2 місяці тому

    why people spend so much on couple's therapy wallahi this is GOLD

  • @snowden-hs2ec
    @snowden-hs2ec Місяць тому

    targeted audience:- 🧔
    actual audience:-👶

  • @almaskhan5612
    @almaskhan5612 2 місяці тому

    What if husband doesn’t give the wife her just rights. Like he spends on a cousin more than his wife. If the wife tries to tell him that this isn’t right he still continues to do so secretly

  • @omaidaali7002
    @omaidaali7002 4 місяці тому

    Maashaallah I love this lecture

  • @minnaheladham916
    @minnaheladham916 4 місяці тому +5

    First time I do not agree with what Nourman said.

    • @Rums-lj3jk
      @Rums-lj3jk 4 місяці тому

      Why?

    • @TheYazmanian
      @TheYazmanian 3 місяці тому +4

      @@Rums-lj3jk Well for me personally, as a woman, him saying that we aren't self aware as to why we are upset was a little inaccurate and honestly a little insulting. We aren't really that complicated either. I think men and women are equally intricate as beings, but I wouldn't necessarily say being complicated is specific to one gender. I think complicated individuals are the way they are due to their upbringing and history.
      Women are just as prone to a wandering eye as men. He acts like women don't ever cheat and that men can't go toe to toe with a woman in an argument. If that were the case, there'd be no male litigators. It's classic stereotyping, and not everyone falls into these categories. It's his opinion and he is entitled to it though :)

    • @minnaheladham916
      @minnaheladham916 3 місяці тому +2

      @@Rums-lj3jk I felt very sad couldn't agree with Norman words for the fist time. Wife is very annoying when she dare to speak bitter truth to her husband, who doesn't reflect on himself at any time. Who can react with warmth and smile for constant neglect and ignorance. I do agree that men were created differently but Allah equally put in their hearts ability to differentiate good from bad, necessary from unnecessary, important from unimportant, etc. If a man can't restraints himself from what his eyes see, how can he be a head of the family or a decision maker.
      If a women try to correct situation endlessly it is because she cares about marriage and most of situations she hope for change. If men do not like something in marriage they usually just leaving without bothering to try find any solution. Manners make man.

    • @nursyakirahshahar9312
      @nursyakirahshahar9312 3 місяці тому

      ​@@minnaheladham916You don't have to feel sad for disagreeing with his words. Not all the time you need to agree with everything he said.
      All i can say is, ustaz got a point there.

  • @sobeeya
    @sobeeya 3 місяці тому +1

    I don’t believe in love with ur spouse. We just partner we love our kids together. Love only with blood relationship for me

  • @shafserious2805
    @shafserious2805 2 місяці тому

    Not in arrange marriages. You have to force yourself in everything u need to do. Its mentally draining. Women are very hard to put up with not men😂😂😂😂😂 this guy!!!!

  • @Wazlonestar
    @Wazlonestar 8 днів тому

    When she starts crying preform RUKYA on her. A lot of men give up on marriage in the US. it’s not worth the trouble.

  • @falaknaazkhan3354
    @falaknaazkhan3354 4 місяці тому +1

    Very nice lecture

  • @fetisol2097
    @fetisol2097 3 місяці тому +1

    the solution is womens plz don't attach emotionally with men then everything goes cool😎

  • @missenglish7859
    @missenglish7859 3 місяці тому +7

    That's wrong to lump all women together and assert that men are logical and wiser. Each individual is different. That is so patronising from him and neither fair nor wise. Very disappointing

    • @paperlappap
      @paperlappap 3 місяці тому +1

      This is probably just an excerpt from one of his lectures. What he says is not wrong. Of course, the same applies the other way round. A woman wants to be cared for and valued just as much, and a man's silence can become torture, precisely because she relates it to herself, even if the reason is completely different.
      Respect for the other person's personality, care and, above all, trust are the basis of every happy relationship.

    • @ajmalagha8695
      @ajmalagha8695 2 місяці тому

      Marriage is not a competition. It's a relationship! A team effort, there's no he or she contributes more. Rather, they both complement by investing their own knowledge, strengths, and responsibilities that were assigned to them by Allāh and his Nabi Sallalāllhu Alyhe Wa Sallam, and not those by society and family.
      The purpose of marriage is to help us to facilitate the pleasure of Allāh and his Nabi Sallalāllhu Alyhe Wa Sallam more smoothly, efficiently, and proactively provided we follow the guidelines given to us in the Qur’ān & Sunnah.
      The longevity of the marriage is contingent on the above-mentioned points, and most of all, our level of Taqwā (God awareness).

  • @mohamedrafi9748
    @mohamedrafi9748 4 місяці тому +2

    What about Single Lifestyle?

    • @mohamedrafi9748
      @mohamedrafi9748 4 місяці тому

      HALAL Marriage only✔️

    • @mohamedrafi9748
      @mohamedrafi9748 Місяць тому

      Love remains in the Hereafter✔️ Love is Forever❤

  • @asimbardhi4535
    @asimbardhi4535 2 місяці тому

    When U say take care what u realy trying to say ?jigijigi?

  • @m.r.m.5193
    @m.r.m.5193 3 місяці тому +5

    Love is a lie...

  • @mq181
    @mq181 4 місяці тому

    Talk about when the HUSBAND has this behaviour????