A Breakdown Of Why INTJs Are So Authentic
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- Опубліковано 10 гру 2022
- This video explains how INTJs develop our external personalities and how it's perceived by others.
Links:
1. Cognitive Functions Explained: www.truity.com/blog/beginners...
2. INFJ Content Creator: www.youtube.com/@Wenzes/featured
3. ESFJ Content Creator: (Don't know any so please comment with your favorite one below)
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I was literally having this conversation with a friend the other day. I was discussing how I tend to put on different faces for different situations, and I was questioning whether my personality was fake because of it. Putting a different spin on it definitely helps. Thinking back on it, even if I do put on different faces, at my core I'm never actually compromising my values. It's always for a reason. The few times it did feel fake (primarily as a teen), it didn't last long.
You have a lot of self awareness if you're questioning your own motives. Keep growing brotha ✊
I don’t think INTJs do that.
@@adrianrose7703 *Fights the urge to leave a snarky reply*
I'll simply leave it at:
A) You don't know me, so it's presumptuous to say I'm wrong.
2) MBTI is far from an exact science. When you start prescribing specific behavior (or lack thereof) to each type you're using it wrong. The ability to adjust your personality presentation to meet a situation isn't a defining feature of any type. Some may be better than others in general or do it for different reasons, but it's a stretch to say any one must or must not do it.
@Casey Boyett I'm late to the party, but I'll also weigh in with some thoughts of my own. In an effort to navigate systems efficiently, it makes the most sense to be able to alter perspectives when we need to understand or interact with others. I have a hard time believing anyone who is similar to me thinks there's a one size fits all to how to interact with other people. My "personas" are really just a way for me to grow, navigate the world efficiently, and to minimize stress. If I am aware of how someone will act when I do X and I am bothered by that reaction, why do X, when Y is an available option. Am I less myself when I interact with someone who has information I want in a way that's most likely to deliver the result I wish to achieve? Hardly, at the core, I just seek an efficient means to carry out my goal. Seeing any deviation from the most direct approach as "inefficient " falls into the same trap utilitarians fall into... The action that produces the most utility now can actually produce less in the future. Saving a boy during a war from an untimely death seems like the right call to limit human suffering, but harder to say it still was a good idea when he grows up to become Adolf Hitler, and even then it's harder yet to say that if Hitler never existed the world would be a better place, perhaps his actions resulted in another even more nefarious man losing out on his window to do misdeeds. No one can know for sure that's why they make decisions in the shorter term more often than not.
Likewise, when walking from point A to B, the shortest distance may be a direct root, but a chatty neighbor or an angry customer can quickly make a route that includes C and D a better alternative and so on.
I may interact with different people in unique ways, but it's always to further the authentic version of myself, and therefore means the actions I take are in fact authentic.
@Adrian Rose I can attest that we very much do that.
My Ni predicts that your channel is going to explode in terms of its popularity if you continue to produce videos such as this one. Good job.
Its already exploding. He just got on the scene within the last 5-6 months! I'm only at 10 subscribers after being on here for a year. Lol! It's all good though. My content is different and his is... good!!
@@yournidom6512you might want to start by diversifying your thumbnails, bro
@@letsreadtextbook1687 Well, I could but, nah. 😆 And, it's ma'am. But bro. 🤣
Amazing breakdown! I love that you talk about the process and how exhausting it can be, as well as how exhausting it is to "exist" in a persona that is in the testing phase, so it's not natural. I know a lot of people that don't understand MBTI well have always thought I was more extraverted when they would initially meet me, so when they would see me in my more natural state it always garnered the same reaction, "You're quiet today, is something wrong?" To which I'd then have to go and explain that "No, this is how I am naturally, and especially when I enter a new system until I understand the ropes. Once I know how things flow I'll "fit in" where I can."
Then comes the lines that start generating the rage meter... "No... no, something is wrong. You don't have to hold it in, you can talk about it," or "Well that's dumb, JUST BE YOURSELF." And that's where I usually have to excuse myself for a moment, lest the "blunt side" comes out too strong.
I appreciate your "fit in" comment. I have this discussion a lot with my friends and they always think I'm overthinking things. It really is nice to hear my own thoughts from a different person.
Future video suggestions: INTJ’s evolution through dating, interview with a INTJ female ( but one whose been married for a while or recently engaged), differences/similarities between INTJ females vs. Males…Awesome video by the way!
Great suggestions! Can you provide a bit more context on what you mean by INTJs evolution through dating? I want to make sure I understand it correctly while I jot it down.
@@justcallmejon22 The changes that INTJs sometimes make in dating. (i.e., dating someone more emotionally expressive increases an INTJ's awareness of self and others.) Due to how INTJs collect information through books, research, or experience, that information internalizes, and I then experiment to see what works. Whether it's 3 months or three 3 yrs, I've evolved in how I think and look at relationships. Another suggestion: What does it look like for InTJ to be "in love?" -I would love to see a Female version of this question
@@First12love INTJ female here. Married for almost 20 years. "In love" is a very amorphous term. I believe love is an action and a choice. I choose to do things that will speak to my spouse's heart. I feel loved when I can be me without filters. Most people do not know a fraction of what I am doing , what I am planning, or what makes me tick. It is too much for them, and I don't want to be that open anyway. However, when I meet someone (love isn't always romantic in nature) that I can be completely me with, it is amazing and I am drawn to them in a way that is super rare for me. I feel safe being me. I don't have to dumb down or scale back who I am for them to understand it. It makes me peaceful (which is also unusual for me in conversations).
As for dating, I had a list of core values and goals and didn't want anytime on anyone who didn't line up with those. Our first conversations were "what do you believe about____", "what are your life plans in regards to_____", etc. I was uninterested is being emotionally attached to someone with no possibility of a future as that would just be a painful waste of time.
Does that answer your query?
recently discovered im an intj, but for a long time i thought i was an fi dom because of how sensitive i am and how preoccupied i am with cultivating the "ideal self". i resonated with so much of what you said here. I tend to notice how i respond to others and what qualities of theirs i admire and then adopt said qualities. like you, ive always loved comedians. i learned to be funny and use my sense of humor early on in life because i didnt really know how else to connect with my peers. i also take note of the way certain people have treated me or those around me, and if it leaves an impression on me, i begin to treat others this way as well. i feel like im a collage of all the things i have ever loved.
INTJs are so interesting that we can take the best pieces of people and make it our own and it's not like we're faking it, it's just us now. I'm not sure if you saw it yet but I made a video about INTJs and emotions, it sounds like it fits the context of your comment: ua-cam.com/video/C8dEXmUUGkU/v-deo.html&ab_channel=JustcallmeJon
same, though i was infp for the longest time but always felt something was off ironically
70 yo INTJ here. Thank you. This is the first time I felt someone understands. Hard to describe the misteps I made trying to fit in. I am now retired and the happiest I have ever been. I no longer have to fit into any system and am 3 years into a ridiculously challenging project. Heavan. Most days I spend by myself reviewing and processing then discarding a lifetime of shame and anger. I have learned that you know when you truly see some aspect of who you truly are because it first feels like death and then like freedom.
Congrats on retirement!! I'm personally looking forward to it. It's nice to hear that you're currently living life the way that you enjoy it and that mental freedom is possible. Keep living the dream fellow INTJ ✊
This is so true. I remember when I was trying to simply improve myself, my goals and my spirituality my "friends" at work for some reason or another suddenly asked me if I thought I was better than everybody else. I remember being like wtf? at first, then hurt and well..we're no longer friends or associates. But it's a process. I love evolving into what I believe I am meant to be. We're not fake but constantly finding ourselves.
I understand that feeling completely but I lucked out and my friends stuck around and eventually accepted that I'm constantly going to change. Keep improving INTJ, we're at our best when people doubt our abilities ✊
As a female INTJ, I used to think I was on the autistic spectrum and masking to adapt, which might still be true but I haven’t been officially diagnosed. However, I have never felt more seen than in this video. Thank you for the clarity!
I don't know if this makes you feel any better but I've wondered that a few times in my life as well and I noticed that it's pretty normal for INTJs ever since I started this channel 😂
I really enjoyed the discussion concerning the adaptablility of the INTJ to the system they are in.
I didn't find out I was an INTJ till 10 years ago.
I have never found it to be a problem to adapt to the system I was in.
Force of personality is a real thing.
Living on my own at 16.
RM1(SS) on both Nucs and Diesels and 23 Navy schools.
I know you know what that entails. LOL
Regional Sales Manager.
Banking Software Development Project Manager.
At each of these groups, the core people and my leaders had values that mirrored my own.
If not, I moved on.
A funny quote that comes to my mind often is:
I don't have to walk a mile in your shoes, I can see you are a train wreck from way over here.
The difference between a seasoned professional and a rookie is the rookie has to look at everthing, before coming to a decision on what to do, where a pro automatically moves the nomal to the side and focuses on what is different, then makes a decision, of course always be open to what you did not see and others have.
I do find time and energy is my most valued possession.
Thank you for your efforts.
Best INTJ channel on YT, hands down. Really appreciate your work Jon, super helpful.
Thank you 🙏
Just discovered your channel and I'm happy to see another INTJ joining the UA-camr community. Thank you for your videos, congratulations on your growth so far, and keep up the great work 👏Side note, I love that you assigned family roles to our cognitive functions and yourself; it makes them sound so endearing. Gotta love Papa Ni, Mama Te, Auntie Fi, Baby Se, and of course, Uncle Jon :)
Glad you're enjoying the content! IMO attaching a characteristic to cognitive functions makes it so much easier to understand 🙃
The most INTJ thing I can hear in this video is you using very specific terms bordering on professional or more likely precise to make sure there is no possibility of misunderstanding the message. I understand it quite well as I tend to do the same when I'm talking about something that is important to me... and as being truthful and precise is very important to me. I'm an engineer/IT administrator by trade, that should explain a lot and yes - our stereotypes are quite true...
I try to be as unprofessional as possible in my videos but I agree that it leads to me sounding more precise that way 😅
Thanks. Your channel helps me feel understood. It is helping me understand myself better.
Congrats 🎉 for reaching 400! I also love comedians. Especially the ones who are able to cut through all the crab just with a few words. Had the awesome experience of seeing my favourite comedian live recently.
This is amazing, your videos are shedding a lot of light on my personality that I never think of.
Glad I'm helping ✊
Great channel, keep it up!!
Thank you 🙏
100% You are the first person I have heard explain this so well.
Thank you 🙏
I have never heard a breakdown like this and it was SO helpful! Thank you for these insights!
I got you ✊
Wow. Thank you again! I never realized how similar INFJ and INTJs are. You are helping me with so much stuff that I experience on a regular basis. I see you. 👀❤
Great video! This topic reminds me of the book “The Alter Ego Effect” by Todd Herman. It’s about how he uses alter egos to channel his personality to accomplish certain goals throughout his career. It plays on the Clark Kent/Superman narrative from DC Comics. It’s a fun read for fans of self-help books. 👍🏽
The amazon reviews are giving this book high praise!
the persona thing is on point. when I mistype myself as infj because constantly change my persona depending on the situation and people im with just like infj being a social chameleon but what doesn't resonate is the FE. after going through functions and watching each personality type videos INTJ ticks all the boxes.
I also created different personas to cope with any kind of situation. I didn't know it was an intj thing until I watched this video.
I'm glad you found your correct type and welcome home fellow INTJ! I don't understand why it's not widely known that the INTJ can be just as much of a chameleon as the INFJ but it doesn't bother me much either 😅
@@justcallmejon22 that's why we're the most misunderstood, and we're not trying to change that either haha
Love it bro. I love when an INTJ takes the time to do these. You know for the rest of us INTJs its just not in the plan and can take too much energy from our ultimate goal lol. You explain it really well brotha
Thanks man, I appreciate the kind words ✊
i've been watching your channel (and thoroughly enjoying it) for over a week now, but this is the video that convinced me to subscribe. i'm a female INTJ with an ISTJ dad and the way you described the disconnect in this video was spot on accurate! i've known our differences were personality based ever since i learned about MBTI, but your trusting the past vs progress oriented remark was the concrete explanation i've longed for. thank you.
You're welcome and thank you for the support! I know how skeptical us INTJs are so I usually don't expect you guys to subscribe until after a few videos 😁
Me too :) My mum is an ESTJ and I finally got why we are always having this discussions about her (wrong) perceptions about me. In addition, she never actually improves as a person, nut I’m not sure if the reason is her personality type or just her 😅
This is so interesting! As an INTJ, I’ve always been told I come across as authentic, even if I’m not ‘trying’ to, but I never really knew why, thank you for this video~!
Glad you learned something 😀
Now that I think about it my INTJ personality started developing after I watched MaidSama at 5th grade. And it was all Misaki. I just finished my University recently. I didn’t even noticed it till now.
Self-discovery is a lifelong journey and I'm happy to hear that I had a part in yours 🙂
Alright man, I'll give credit when credit is due. I said I wasn't going to sub to this channel but here I am still watching your videos. I see the value proposition in this channel when I 100% identify as an INTJ. I'll sub. Don't let me down.
Welcome to the group fellow INTJ! Stay as long as you want and I hope you help positively improve the lives of our community ✊
It’s so wonderful.
Thank you 🙏
Whoa, I can't believe you only had 400 subs 4 months ago- I turn off sub counts so I can give every UA-camr a fair shot but I thought for sure you'd be in the tens of thousands by now. Keep it up, dude!
I remember you commenting on my earlier YT career and I still appreciate the support! Slowly but surely I'll get there 🙂
Thank you for this… excellent breakdown. I often tell my hubby the only time I feel comfortable around people is when I am at an event with a specific focus…. Hence I have a built in subject to talk about and feel somewhat comfortable. If you take me to a basic event with strangers and expect me to small talk and enjoy it… I would personally prefer getting a cavity filled. And yes… I’ve done the “well… I’m just going to be honest here”…. Sometimes it makes people mad, sometimes it makes them laugh and other times they just nod their head like “hmmmmm… this one is interesting”. At almost 53 and a female to boot, I am tired of the personas game (though admit I am definitely adept at playing it) and I just am now. If someone finds it disingenuous all I can say is “yeah, well, that’s just like your opinion , man”. 😊. I have subscribed.. great work fellow INTJ.
Thank you for the support! No matter how many times I observe Se & Te doms, I still can't fathom how easy it is for them to engage with people without a reason (even if they justify the reason to be networking). I'm happy to hear that you were able to reach your epiphany and ignore the haters. I think most INTJs aspire to get there one day ✊
@@justcallmejon22 it’s hard. But I think age and experience have helped. You truly do get to a point where you know what you’re about and are done with trying to convince others of your worth. It took me a loooooong time. Love what you’re doing with this channel! ✊🏻
The way you genderized our cognitive stack caught my attention! It would be interesting to unpack the different ways we assigned gender to each function.
It's easy how I assigned my interpretation. I'm more afraid of my Mom than I am my Dad, and that's the same way I feel about Te 😆.
Great channel! Learning a lot about myself. Have you made a video about what pushes us more into our shadow functions and how to get back to our more dominant functions?
Glad to hear that it's helping! I haven't gone over the topic yet but I'm sure I'll get to it eventually 😅
When you said Full House I immediately thought of Joey! I also wanted to be a comedian when I was younger. I idolized those comedians who cold get a laugh at all cost like Chris Farley. I would like to become more of a story teller like Dave Chappelle. He is the master at weaving comedy into story telling that have profound thought. I have not told anyone but have been a journey recently learning how to be more charismatic, charming and even seductive. Not to get women or anything as I am married but to be able to enter into that role. A grounded alpha in a sense. Maybe embody a character like Kahn from star trek the original series from the episode called Space Seed. I think that version of Kahn embodies masculinity and charisma. His theatrical version in Wrath of Kahn was a little psychotic. Anyway, not sure why I shared that with you but I feel like you would get it.
I went through the same "alpha' journey you did when I was in my twenties and it really did help me become more confident in my skin. Lots of cringe moments but the result was worth it imo. I'm rooting for you bro ✊
oh yea I've been a Chameleon all my life ...high brow when I had to and low brow when I had to .....treated all people I met equally until other wise proven
Interesting way to explain it.
Thank you 🙏
Yes, we choose to present ourselves in certain ways. Choose as in conscious doing. So it can create resentments in other people, especially “feeler” types, because they can’t read the presented persona. But what they feel is, that there is more below the surface. I was described by a “feeler” type as “having walls upon walls upon walls”. My response: “Yes, that’s true. And I like my walls.” Because they keep me sane in this insane world.
I disagree very strongly on this one.
I do know how to fake being all kinds of people. I have learned all kinds of things about how and why people operate. I could change myself to be anything. But as you say, Fi wouldn't let me get away with it for any length of time. It is not worth the effort.
And that's the thing, it is never worth the effort. You either like me, or you don't. You either accept me, or you don't. But you don't control me. I don't change who I am just to please you. I don't waste my time doing the things I hate in order to fit in. I have no personas. I just am.
Now, that doesn't mean I don't do things like exhibit more patience with kids. I believe in fairness. In fairness, most kids are still learning, and so they don't know any better, and I should explain to them why something is wrong if they do something wrong, rather than being more harsh with them, as I would be if an adult did the same thing because the adult should know better.
I also change my language between formal and informal settings. But that's because I don't have the same relationship with work colleagues that I have with friends. Work colleagues want me to get my work done, and don't want to hear about my personal concerns. Friends I can talk to about personal things. But that's not a persona, that's just treating people fairly and reasonably.
And that's it. I treat people fairly and reasonably. I try to explain things to people who haven't caught up yet because that's the right thing to do. I don't tend toward anger over most things because most things are easily fixed. And kindness is usually the best first approach rather than assuming the worst.
I don't care, at this late stage in my life, if people think I'm an alien. I've found other aliens to hang out with when I want company. And I don't want to spend my time pretending to be something I'm not with other people who pretend to be something they are not. That sounds so hollow.
Agreed. I think we're saying the same thing but just using different words 😅
I just found your channel and I really like how you present these topics.
I think the upholding of authenticity is also why INTJs are the most skeptical when they discover they are INTJs. I've found out that I was an INTJ 3 years ago and for 2 whole years, I've been questioning it, looking for "unmatching" qualities because I didnt want to pose a personality I am not. This led me to learn my core values and later fully accepted that I am indeed an INTJ.
That's exactly what I did as well and my recommendation for people who are confused. Look for what you're not and that'll lead you to who you are.
i kept doubting it too... thought i was too emotional for it, not efficient enough.... until I found out that I am in a chronic ni-fi loop.
@@thestrangequarksexperience501 "not efficient enough"....this is me. I've been horribly stagnant for years because I just found out today I've been stuck in a loop.
@@shemac1482 oh yeah, you can even stuck in a loop most of your life, if you have bad luck...
the following thing made me realise that i must be an intj: most people want to help you by giving you emotional support (FE). i could never do much with that. it is always TE that helps me out, when im stuck. i dont need a shoulder to cry on i need answers! 😜
You are so cool.
(Wiping dirt off my shoulder) 😂
I dedicated myself fully to attaining a career in cinema. I met about 2000 people in a decade or so, and I'd love the mingling, comraderie and surface socialising with them, and I would constantly tell my friends about the kind of people that I would meet. I was really funny, sociable and downright enthusiastic with them. When I quit that pursuit altogether I barely met any new people. I work in software now and can go years without making new acquaintances. Since leaving my life's dream was said and traumatising, I was somewhat confused as to why I would not keep meeting people in my new life direction, and I thought perhaps I was massively burn out, the pain of my life failure was getting in the way, etc. But having worked on that transition for a long while now, I realise that it was mostly the fact that yes, I was meeting loads of people, because that's how that system worked. I am finally adapting to my current system, when it's ok to be more lowkey and reserved, even if I have some eccentricities.
Do you plan on going back to the previous system? It sounds like you miss it.
@@justcallmejon22 the old system wasn't working for me then and wouldn't work for me now. Under my conditions and as a passion project, I'm directing a documentary, which puts my whole INTJ persona to the test. Eventually, it'd be nice to direct the occasional short movie here and there.
While i don't fully agree with everything you say, i have to give credit where its due, because verbalizing the explanation has been really clarifying for me and its refreshing being able to explain the things that I experience everyday without it being lost in translation
Everyone experience their own version of life, my job as a content creator is to generalize it to make people feel seen 😀
Best examples I can come up with is my career path. While the road from the beginning of the journey to the top was not a straight line, it did pass through different positions with different needs and responsibilities. In a manufacturing setting starting with QC tech interacting as a peer with my co-workers and then to Supervisor. A Supervisor is similar to parenting imo. Then to Superintendent and there is no decision getting made that doesn't impact the production floor and all roads lead through my office...much different model needed. Then to Plant Manager which is far more administrative encompassing most plant functions such as maintenance, accounting, HR etc so a more varied and need for bringing people together to move forward. Lastly, an executive position for a small company reporting to a board of directors. I did not have a role model for that position to model so I created my own.
Creating a blueprint that's missing is the most INTJ thing 😁
Great metaphor for explaining the dynamics of intj cognitive functions with papa ni, mama Te etc . Do you have a video or can you make one telling how to develop our 3rd and 4th functions
I appreciate the support! I don't have a video on how to develop the lower functions but I do have videos describing them and how they manifest in real life. I think development is a result of the environment a person is raised in so it'll look different for everyone. Trust in the process though, and continue improving ✊
At age 38… I start to understand myself 😅. Thanks for this video!
Self-discovery is a lifelong mission so you're never late to the party 🙂
When i was early 20s i had a lucid dream i took a trip into my own subconscious and i got a real close look at who i was deep down. And i took a peek into my own book of remembrence.
How was it? Did you learn anything new about yourself?
@@justcallmejon22 the living room was filled with stacks of old newspapers stacks that touch the ceiling. And i can change very quickly, and things like addiction is very easy to overcome.
I learned that change is easy to do if you're willing to. Normal people can only change at the precipice but if you want to change anything about you just change your mind and change. This is also why i don't understand why someone can be addicted to something they don't want to be. After this dream im able to lucid dream. Ive seen mirrors and when i look close enough my eyes were light blue and the pupil were fully dilated. It wigged me out but at the same time didnt look anything like me.
I hope that is the case to be honest sooner rather than later instead of continuously lying to someone.
The constant need to lie in any relationship sucks a$* ✊
It's interesting to think of it as "personas." I always thought of it as optimization of the body, mind and soul. I was very impatient and would get frustrated and fiery when arguing with people and always admired how well composed and patient Jordan Peterson was when arguing with a moron. I adapted tactics and through lots of practice, self observation and tweaking, I am finally viewed by people as a patient, well composed person that is influential when speaking. I just identified the flaws I didn't like about myself (impatient, know-it-all, quick to disregard) and worked to optimize myself. I optimize the human animal I am all the time, be it personality or gaining tangible skills. I've been a banker, a designer, a financial advisor, a life couch, then got into tech and started building apps, automation, machine learning, real estate, interior design, restaurant menus (recipes), designing wine bars, building homes etc. . . While technically that is all extremely confusing for people as to how I manage all that, and some people may know me as one "persona" or the other, for me it all comes from the exact same and solid core values. I'm a consistent person people can rely on, I just always optimize myself. To view it as personas is interesting because two people that don't know me well might speak of me and never realize that's the same person depending in what environment they've dealt with me.
I know Jordan Peterson is controversial but his stoic demeaner under pressure is admirable and what I believe most INTJs aspire to be. It really is all about optimization for us INTJs and I'm glad to hear that you've never stopped 🙂
I've got some kind of hiper fixation to MBTI, but I have a lot of doubts about this system, cuz it's not proven enough yet (and my ENFP friends think I overthink it too much, lol) But everytime I find such a content about INTJs my doubts breaks up, cuz no one never told me about my own thinking process more accurate, than this bloggers and articles. Anyway, I like it, it makes sense for me. Thanks for your videos)
Welcome to the community! Regardless of what type you really are, just remember that MBTI is only a tool and shouldn't be used as your identity. Learn and grow as a person, but most importantly have fun 🙂
I was named “the ice queen” and “fun sucker” from my daughter and my nieces. Now they are 25+ Now they seek me for advice. I never considered myself a friend; I wanted to be a teacher to help them later. Later did come…
I'm the opposite, I'm the one that provides moral support in all their decisions as long as it's safe and not hurting anyone. I feel like INTJs tend to fill in the gap of what's needed for our loved ones so it sounds like you're doing what's best for your family ✊
I was a class clown, then a grungy Metalhead for most of secondary school. Now I understand why.
Same. I was nominated class clown during Summer school one year while listening to Marilyn Manson on my bus ride to and from 😅
@@justcallmejon22 And for you, was it also an attempt to 'hide' your real self and try to succeed socially? If I could have those years again knowing what I know now, I'd embrace my gifts and gain friendships through competence, not waste my time dumbing myself down for others.
P.S. I still _love_ Metal btw. But music taste doesn't have to go hand-in-hand with bad hygiene lol.
8:40 I'm glad to see this. I keep doing it as I'm going to bed and it freaks my wife out because of whole body cringe.
You're not alone brotha 😂
Just realising that Im picking out patterns to adopt to rn 😅
Test, test, test! I tried so many approaches until I found the one that worked best for me and allowed me to stay authentic to myself. Good luck INTJ and enjoy the ride ✊
i definitely felt that admiration with edmond dantes from the count of monte cristo (after he stopped being so naive of course)
Great choice! I admire anyone who follows their plans to the end regardless of how long it takes. i.e. Littlefinger from the Game of Throne series.
Brrrraaavvvoo et merci..😁🤩🤭😏👏👏👏
😉
aaargh!! I loathe the cringes
Plus am quite used to people thinking I never cared lol... better that rather than 'em realising I did cumulatively forming an unnecessary dependency burden
Interesting. I was aware that I would alter my demeanor with different people but not who I am, to the core. and changing like you explained makes sense. Cuz I would just match their tone, pace, the words they use... Basically becoming who they want me to be, but on external things only.
and I just had a wild memory pop-up.. okay, so... when I would watch movies as a kid, I would become that character from the movie.. and it was literally a natural effect, almost completely out of my control. Even if I didn't act it out for the next few hours, in my head I would play and think and talk like that character.
the ones that come to mind are making me laugh... Peter Pan was often.. the cartoon but especially Robin Williams from Hook. and, get this, Ace Ventura Pet Dectetive. 😅 I just loved the confidence of both cuz I would get in trouble for being confident(rude).
I'm seeing a trend that INTJs adore characters that are funny and over the top. What I forgot to mention in the video is that the persona we take is subconcious most of the time and we're unaware that we're doing it until after the fact. I was also a huge Jim Carrey fan as a child as well so I see the appeal of Ace Ventura 😂
Haha that's awesome! I'm also a huge fan of stand up and it's one of the few things I can watch on repeat. most things, if I've seen it once I can't watch it again. And Full House was one of my favorite shows as a kid. It's wild seeing the similarities with other INTJs.
I've known some esfj family members who still (after many, many years) think I don't know who I am (aka fake). It's pretty trying as you say, they don't seem to me interested in what that is. At least, not in the same way as I see them. There must be something that balances this imbalance. Until you talked about persona and how we can struggle with the concept of having one, I didn't see it that clearly.
I'm glad I was able to shed new perspective. There was something else I said that I left out of the video because it didn't feel right to leave it in there. "...People can only meet you, as deeply as they've met themselves". It's annoying to be misunderstood but I realized where it comes from after I heard that quote.
[Edit 1]: It's a famous quote but I can't find the actual author of it so leaving it blank.
Come to think of it... my intj traits hailed from Batman the animated series hehe
Must be nice being a billionaire as well 🤣
I don't know, I think I'm pretty much the same in all circumstances. I'm authentic because I don't know how not to be.
I agree but I'm also aware that each situation is different so a different part of your personality needs to be exaggerated to fit the circumstance. If you're constantly one persona in all situations, I don't see how you're optimizing your time. I don't doubt that you're consistant, I just foresee issues that can be prevented if just adjusted slightly.
@@justcallmejon22 Well, I certainly have issues, I'll grant you that one.
That was very interesting, thank you for the video! I would have never thought that some people build their personality in such a systematic way, through trial and error, and evaluation. Are other INTJs or in general other personalities relating to this? I personally know only one INTJ and having met her only in one kind of system now I'm wondering what is she like in other systems :D As an INFP I see authenticity as a quite vague and confusing concept. (Actually before seeing this video I was wondering like half an hour ago, is it fake to be really nice also to people you really dislike? From one point of view, it could be considered as fake, but from the other side, if you are just a person who wants to be nice to everyone, then it is also a part of who you are, isn't it?) In my teenage years I was really struggling to understand who am I, realizing that I am a completely different person depending on who I am with, and it just came very naturally to adapt the speaking, behaving ways of my friends, sometimes even bending my own values in order to fit better with their persona, with their views, as they seemed to be way more stronger and more grounded than mine. (Can other INFPs relate? This also might be a 9w1 thing) Now, at 21 years old, I think I am still doing that to a certain degree but I am way more comfortable and confident being myself, expressing my own opinions and values (which are still often changing). I feel myself changing a lot, trying to always improve many aspects of myself, but I am not making any persona changes consciously (maybe because it might feel as if I'm pretending to be someone I'm not?) like it seems that INTJs do, assuming from this video, which is very cool and interesting IMO. Damn, this turned out to be a long comment. Thanks to anyone who read it! Good luck, man, already 400 subscribers in less than 2 weeks or something?! Keep going!
Thanks for commenting! A few others commented their thoughts after you left yours and I believe they might've answered your question. My experience with INFPs is that you guys are usually genuine people and go quiet when you're uncomfortable. I don't see that as not being true yourself, I see that as a great mechanism, because INTJs will flat out leave a situation we don't want to be in regardless of how other's feel.
> That was very interesting, thank you for the video[, Jon]!
Yeah, I agree. It is very interesting to see how other people think and navigate life.
> Are other INTJs relating to this?
No. :P I'm an INTJ, and I don't relate to this behavior at all. Well, I don't relate to most of Jon's videos. I personally would type him as an ESFP. He gets good views/subscribers because he makes good content, not because he typed himself correctly. Well, there's also many mistyped INTJs who then find it relatable and feel like they finally found "the right kind of INTJ that is like them". But his videos have good content by themselves and should get enough views even if we ignore this group of people.
I think it's very unlikely an INTJ would create personas. The closest to a persona I do is... I will shut off parts of my behavior. I'll be formal/distant - not sharing my thoughts or quirks - incrementally more of them depending on how (un)friendly/(un)safe/(un)open an environment I consider myself to be in. I'd say that being nice to people because you want to (at the cost of your opinion or avoiding conflict/putting someone down) can be seen as part of your authentic self. Even for Fe doms being nice and changing their behavior around people to different forms is authentic to themselves because that is how they function, that is where they feel comfortable. Even for them it is not a process without boundaries and they have internal rules to how much they bend to the environment. People will move their self perception and values as they gather experience and knowledge. But I find adjusting often difficult - there is some resistance in me. I will rather avoid people that push an expectation of a behavior or an opinion on me - they can find more compatible friends and both, them and I, will be more happy for it. I let people be themselves and have different opinions than I, even if they frustrate me at times, and I hope for the same in return. I think a lot of understanding and knowledge can be lost (or not found) in an environment where one is discouraged to disagree and explore opposing or "dangerous" views.
The way you have described yourself seems like something IxFPs should relate to, IMO.
Hahahaha noooooo! Not trashing of the ESFP 🤣
I wouldn't dare 😅
I agree we present certain components based on the system, but I don't see that as not authentic - these are all pieces of me, just selected to optimize my ability to interact with the current system. Like a combo lock - all the numbers are there, but the set of numbers that open the lock depend on who or what sets the combo.
It seems inauthentic to Si users and honestly, I don't know why either 😅
Hmm. Not sure if I agree with this. I’m an INTJ and my persona is based on my core value system which I keep veeerryyyy simple so it keeps me flexible enough to take other people’s feedback. That my dear is a system that has never failed me 😉
It's okay that we have different views on the topic but we are saying the same thing but using different words. INTJs will create persona to fits the situation but maintain the our core value is the main theme of the video. I also want to add that persona's are a tool, so if it's too simple, it's probably not as effective in some situations. That's where the flexibility of Se baby comes alive baby!!! 👯
an INTJ here, I really like your contents, keep up the good.
Thank you 🙏
Jon I dont know how to exoress my thoughts but thanks for this channel man you helped me a lot to understand myself I do a lot of things and i dont understand why I am doing these things
the topic that you are talking about is why my ENFP ExGF left me she thought i am fake and she couldn't reach me
since that I have been wondering why i have different personas specaliy that i get tratits from people i like or sometimes TV or even movies
I should be greatufl that I am doing such a thing and that is completely normal to my INTJ mind
thanks that you have explained all of this
BTW I am a marketer too
thanks Jon
Happy to hear that my videos are helpful! I won't say much about your relationship with the ENFP but I will say that even though they are our 'golden pair', it's difficult when both types has maturing to do. You're not alone INTJ brotha, keep figuring yourself out and you'll find someone who appreciates you for who you are ✊ .
(Also, Marketing is such a fitting job for INTJs 😂)
@@justcallmejon22 yeah I can tell I love what i am doing btw
so what I am doing right now is helping businesses build their marketing teams since in the local market it is hard to do so there are a lot of talents but bad management so that's what i do
thanks for this channel again love what you are doing Jon
@@justcallmejon22 this is way off topic but I always want to help everyone who I think needs help is this normal for an INTJ
@@fonteye Yup! It's a very Te thing. I made a video Te, it should answer a few questions you might have: ua-cam.com/video/q1v-0gK23BA/v-deo.html
Would love survival tips for INTJ in corporate employment. Thanks
I'm not the best person for that video because I had to leave it to maintain my sanity 😅
compared to ISFP's, INTJ's authenticity is like Cubic Zirconia to their diamonds.
I'm not an expert in the realm of diamonds so I'm just going to assume that it's a compliment. Thank you! 😁
ENTJ female here pursuing an INTJ with as much stealth as I can muster. By far the most effective way to understand if my intuition is right (can't trust I'm not living in a fantasy when my intuition tells me what I want to hear) is hearing an INTJ verbalize their thought process.
In particular language surrounding feelings, of which I'm realizing I use extroverted words in a commonly accepted way I know to validate others ("I love those answers" "how exciting") which can read as being cavalier to an INTJ. Quora, YT doctorate lol, article after article, best friends (all INTJ, go figure, but mom is an ESFJ)...and I'm happy to report my intuition is correct AND mystery solved.
Mystery = the use of the word feelings 🧐🤯😧 "I am interested in you, but I don't have feelings" + he spends quality time, opens up more, responds and checks texts often, says he can be himself with me. Etc. Big time green flags. But no feelings, does not compute, wrong word...
SOLVED: we both share a long-term motivation for relationships and know what we'll do for our loved ones, so it's serious to get it right before committing. ENTJ: this ain't my first rodeo, I've learned enough to know this COULD be right IF we both decide. I can't overcome a dispassionate personality. INTJ: it's a switch or decision to allow yourself to commit and feel love, you've passed the onion de-layering process (I just like him more the more I see that also confirms my intuition).
If no future or someone states their disinterest, that factor alone allows me to walk away sans tears. No emotions, this transaction is done, glad we had no casualties just lessons learned.
But if I've been able to ask all my pressing q's to test compatibility and admiration (so far, only human I've fully shown up as myself with), then him deciding yay means IT'S GO TIME BITCHES. But also means I'm doing what is next to impossible for an ENTJ: enjoying the moment and not self-sabotaging by demanding an immediate answer. Because then it'll be a no. Which I don't want. Learning to like myself. Context: past relationship timelines tell me 6-9months to flip any switch. As an ENTJ quick to see potential, rationalizing / double checking my own feelings has only compounded or confirmed my feelings are well founded (and I'm not ignoring red flags like am I happy with them, not just because they say they value me while not living up to their words)
What's the worst that could happen? Self doubt and we start again. Meh, then no big deal. Never settle. Always grow.
Pro tip for ENTJs who realize INTJs are the sexiest creatures out there: shared fav music and movies help to better recognize shared perspectives / emotions you connect to (privately and through storytelling).
Sorry for my novel. It's a few wks of recap and I feel so much relief.
I'm sure it will help INTPs understand ENTJs or INTJs hopefully understand that you unabashedly being yourself is what makes us feel like you won't take advantage of our trust. And that we can ask questions that will literally make us explode if we can't figure it out. Quickest way is to ask you.
But really best of luck and stay strong ENTJs, you can do it 💪 💖
I have the same experience with ENTJs as well and I realized that I'm one of the only person that can convince the ENTJs in my life to do something. I hope you find what you're looking for what it's an INTJ or INTP or any other type, I'm rooting for you ✊
The novel wasn't the hard part, but I had a very difficult time deciphering one idea from the next. It was emotion/word vomit via text. I had a tough time following, but I found it strangely endearing and mildly adorable. As an INTJ, I shall adopt you, and call you Squishy, and you shall be my Squishy text mess.
@@shemac1482 'train of thought' word vomit, but with cabooses and passenger cars all free-floating above the track and out of order 😅
it's an INTJ's thoughts and thought process that ENTJs love hearing, and can be magical when having long conversations where you really open up. But a one-sided affair where we're the only one initiating won't last long. Our logic is: if you wanted to hang out with us, you would make time (no matter if it's in 2 weeks after a big deadline at work etc etc). And regularly seeing each other in person is the only way we'll get to know each other (which we want to do!)
How's it going?
If you want an INTJ to latch on and not let go, just promise to be the face of the organization... say things like, "I'll help you with your plans for world domination," or, "I'll do the talking at the party," or, "Let me present your ideas to the investors." He'll love you for life.
I'm not sure about me being an INTJ, but at the same time I am sure. Why is that?
INTJ ENTP, we often doubt about ourselves, others and many things, it’s our functioning. We are also walking paradox, because we see both sides, flexible, see others possibilities.
We want to be sure at 200% ahah.
Exactly what @elodie said! I do want to add that you're human and you're constantly changing. It's normal to question what you are but it gets easier to identify yourself once you start understanding cognitive functions. Good luck on your journey of self discover and our community is always here to help you when you get lost or confused ✊
brooout the first comment
Wooo! 🎉
Why i cant find my own kind of Intj friend!!!
You probably have already but they didn't act like a typical INTJ because of the system where you two met 😁
Link #2 doesn't work.
Thanks for letting me know! I updated the link, it should work now 🙏
be intj is so ease en so hard in the same time
I feel you on that and I hope you know that you're not alone ✊
Every opinion you ever here after the teenage years is associated with that. Any emotion insert attempt is for 8-12 year olds.
I'm going to be completely honest, i'm not sure what you're trying to say. Is there a way to rephrase it?
I just think you should Ni into INTJs only & let the others have their type lead them. But, that's just me, I don't want your limited energy lost elsewhere.
These videos are actually helpful - until you start talking about Fi. But, that made me come to a realization, there are no two similar INTJs(as opposed to intuitive Fe doms or Fe parents); cause all our(INTJs) introverted feelings are case specific to each INTJ.
In all my viewings on INTJs talk on Fi here on UA-cam: - they all seem to be talking of something different - yet our Ni just gets it(extrapolates). But our Fi always feel/"know" - something is definitely OFF. 👽
One of the reasons why I started making UA-cam videos is because INTJ youtubers typically don't talk about Fi and I decided that my channel will be an INTJ lead by Fi. We don't have to agree but I'm trying to normalize INTJs getting attuned to our emotions. I recommend checking out Asurapsych or Lijo if you want less Fi. They put out fantastic videos and usually leave out Fi ✊
@@justcallmejon22 I honestly have no qualms with your channel & its focus on Fi. I am actually glad you found that gap on here & chose to focus on it.
I am very well attuned with my Fi(all my life - I even have a book of poems filled with Fi stuff in it that gives me cringes these days 😄knowing I put such a work out there); so I totally get you on solely building content around it. It's actually a breathe of fresh air. I hope someone else will pick on Se. (Maybe that will be me one day.) 😃
And I have consumed content from those other channels you've recommended. They all come from different perspectives. That is well and good; at the end of the day, we(INTJs) like our sources of data varied. Helps with the various angles we look at any subject matter.
@@bimri Send me your channel if you ever create one. I'm always happy to support other INTJs. There's enough room for all of us to coexist.
@@justcallmejon22 I will, I will; for sure. Keep up the good work on here, with your channel. May the channel grow exponentially.
interesting, the si-dom-thing... for me the isfj and esfj feel the most fake.
I agree that most Si dom's haven't had a real conversation with themselves to know their true identity. Having Si as their dominant cognitive function makes it so they are easily able to pick up when things are off, not how they should be. It's very similar to Ni and I appreciate them for calling me out sometimes...rarely though 🙃
@@justcallmejon22 they call you outsometimes? my mother is an isfj. i have the feeling she dosent know her true identity... i dont understand her and she dosnt understand me... 😕
Embrace cringe testing! *sad noises*
Gotta do what you never done to get what you never had 🙃
@@justcallmejon22 john when im act different just to show my confidence through my face i thoughts its a cool then i find out im look like stupid,cringe and idiot its very stupid of me make the face very cringe. i hate it but its worth to try it again
Look don't get so complicated on knowing your self , you can over analys thy self and get lost in modern psycology , study Budda ,Jesus and many other greats that understood the inner self, seems like you are missing the spiritual aspects and having a understand ment of ancient harmonics .
I appreciate the recommendation on searching for spiritualism. It may not come across clearly in my video but I'm highly spiritual and I believe that to fully understand oneself is a beautiful journey.
Please make a video about INTP vs INTJ, PLEASE🥲
Any specific topic you want me to go over?
@@justcallmejon22 procrastination and the difference between the way they look at the future ( maybe Ni) also the way they feel emotions differently and process them. Please