The Truth Revealed! How Attorneys Actually Prove Narcissistic Abuse in Court

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  • Опубліковано 11 жов 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 504

  • @RebeccaZungEsq
    @RebeccaZungEsq  Місяць тому +6

    Want to know more about how to prove narcissistic abuse in court? Join me on my free live masterclass on how to Outsmart the Narcissist! Sign up right here>>> slay.rebeccazung.com/freetrainingrz-3627

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Місяць тому +2

      Looking forward to supporting you there!

  • @frannybkranny8760
    @frannybkranny8760 Місяць тому +103

    Great advice for people who have the wherewithal to keep "meticulous" documentation. Not so much when your mental health and sense of self has been shattered by the narcissists in your life. Exorbitant lawyers fees and retainers don't help much either. This world is broken.

    • @mountain10
      @mountain10 Місяць тому +5

      It sure is!!!!!

    • @bonesmama1273
      @bonesmama1273 Місяць тому

      @@frannybkranny8760 I am so exhausted.. I just found this channel.. as I repeatedly look up the stairs to make sure he isn’t coming while I say this. I am soo tired. Almost to the point that I am not sure anymore if it IS me… because that’s what he says.. or him. I tell him that it is us.. i don’t how many more ways that I can try to “change me” so that he at least kinda likes me again, if he doesn’t love me. Maybe I can make him like me a little bit, and we can just live in a fairly peaceful coexistence together. And I can keep this marriage together for another 4 years. If not for us, for our son. I am so sad and broken. But I am so worried about what this is going to turn my baby boy into as a man. I do not know what to do. I just want to want to live again… but most days I just wish I could die.
      It is so terrible. 😕

    • @flaggontheplay4666
      @flaggontheplay4666 Місяць тому +6

      Amen.

    • @FlyHoneyBre
      @FlyHoneyBre 10 днів тому +1

      Thank you. Exactly. Me

    • @C.C.Sophia528
      @C.C.Sophia528 4 години тому

      I’m going to go ahead and Fifth this!

  • @tional5266
    @tional5266 Місяць тому +70

    The rest of my years will be the BEST of my years!

  • @stephaniebennett7149
    @stephaniebennett7149 Місяць тому +129

    I did all the things you said in this video. Former judge Nancy Berger made our divorce last for 5 years in Tarrant County, Texas! I went through 3 attorneys and my ex went through 3 attorneys, too. I wrote a blog about that judge and many, many people trapped in her court were forced to remain sending the children to abusive parents, even when there was proven sexual assaults that never stopped. Our daughter is 21, now, but is not allowed to press charges against retired judge Nancy Berger in Tarrant County, Texas.

    • @Aochic
      @Aochic Місяць тому +53

      The system is BY narcissists FOR narcissists

    • @idid138
      @idid138 Місяць тому +22

      This is why people don't leave narcissists.

    • @liadown9052
      @liadown9052 Місяць тому +19

      They obviously have too much power.

    • @christking8844
      @christking8844 Місяць тому +17

      Obscene

    • @mountain10
      @mountain10 Місяць тому +19

      Laws need to be changed!!!!!

  • @loveleelionesstarotwatchth7261
    @loveleelionesstarotwatchth7261 Місяць тому +108

    My son took his own life 5 weeks ago to get away from a toxic narcissist who threatened to kill herself and the kids if he didn’t toe the line or if he threatened to leave her … a heartbreaking and tragic outcome to a relentless sociopathic abuser .. who is still in my life due to my grandchildren … one single sign those kids are traumatised any further by her and she’s going to court! I will take those kids from her…. (Ex) friends of hers have plenty of evidence in messages to get me started…

    • @SueT-MC-DSI
      @SueT-MC-DSI Місяць тому +16

      I'm so sorry for your loss.

    • @antonroux6737
      @antonroux6737 Місяць тому +12

      @@SueT-MC-DSI devastating tragedy beyond words - indescribable loss - you must win

    • @AprilAmbiWhite
      @AprilAmbiWhite Місяць тому

      @@loveleelionesstarotwatchth7261 So sorry for your loss 😪

    • @cindymichiels9937
      @cindymichiels9937 Місяць тому +10

      I am so sorry for your loss, my heart goes to you

    • @brca1853
      @brca1853 Місяць тому +5

      So sad, my condolences

  • @JS-hb8nk
    @JS-hb8nk Місяць тому +114

    The key is to find a lawyer who cares more about their client than kowtowing to the judge's quota and time line (aka their career).

    • @fgoindarkg
      @fgoindarkg Місяць тому +11

      But a lottery ticket. Better odds.

    • @susanmercurio1060
      @susanmercurio1060 Місяць тому +5

      Kowtowing. Not cow towing. No cows needed

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 Місяць тому +4

      Lawyers work for the court, not you.

    • @JS-hb8nk
      @JS-hb8nk Місяць тому

      @@recoveringsoul755 My point exactly.

    • @susanmercurio1060
      @susanmercurio1060 Місяць тому

      @@recoveringsoul755 I saw a documentary that showed that the judges, the defense lawyers, and the prosecutors are all in a scam together. This undercover agent worked in all three capacities and he disclosed that bribery and corruption took place between all of them.

  • @crankypantsmcduff
    @crankypantsmcduff Місяць тому +42

    I'm so so so glad I documented EVERYTHING! I hope it's useful for my final hearing in Oct. I have pics, videos, audios, documents, witnesses, and I've provided the lot, snd it's all in order he's still got no "evidence" against me. I've waited over 2 years to have have my day, and getting to cross examine him is absolutely delicious.

    • @kimberlysutton1690
      @kimberlysutton1690 Місяць тому +2

      Not to be rude, but you sound a tad narcissistic, or you are reacting and giving into one under terrible advice and have a really bad lawyer, good luck paying all those attorney fees. Sounds like you’re about to walk the plank. The judges goal will be to make sure there is no winner, so what may be delicious, will get sour real quick. Sorry you have been clearly misguided by your over zealous counsel. Such an injustice, wouldn’t be surprised both attorneys go share a drink together after the case. They are all friends you know? The legal world is a wild breed of people. So sorry, would be great if I’m wrong, but here in our town, if mediation is an impasse, it’s game over for both parties. A good lawyer is hard to find, because people think it’s a game of winning and loosing the minute a good lawyer gets honest they bolt to the next that will say “I’ll fight for you” … worst thing to come out of a family law attorneys mouth. There is no winner ever in family law.

    • @ikasugami8066
      @ikasugami8066 Місяць тому +1

      Good for you! I've been telling my sister she needs to document everything. This is great reinforcement for that point. Thank you for sharing.

  • @serapf.9768
    @serapf.9768 Місяць тому +64

    Yes. Dealing w malignant narc w kids involved. Divorced 9 yrs ago and still in court every other yr for custody battles.

    • @sommermilhous3594
      @sommermilhous3594 Місяць тому +4

      @serapf.9768 same but I only have 1 child. We've been doing this for 11 years

    • @StStStS
      @StStStS Місяць тому +6

      I am so sorry. It shouldn’t be allowed for either partner to take the other back to court on a regular basis. I think there is a campaign to stop this as it is often just abuse. Also, there is a campaign to get rid of the Alienation accusation as it is impossible to prove and is the classic response from an abuser when their victim has had enough. Best wishes to you both. It must be exhausting.

    • @sommermilhous3594
      @sommermilhous3594 Місяць тому +2

      ​@StStStS thank you ! Seriously so exhausting and stressful . And he wants to try to use that i have ptsd caused by him to try and say I shouldn't have custody. . They are so evil . He would break my child if he did that .

    • @StStStS
      @StStStS Місяць тому +8

      @@sommermilhous3594 ❤️ Everyone says the family court system is not fit for purpose. To stress a Mother and waste her resources IS abusing the children indirectly. They are not separate things. ❤️

    • @sommermilhous3594
      @sommermilhous3594 Місяць тому

      Absolutely, it's been a joke they always start him off with a clean slate don't look at his record at all .

  • @Akwardturtle
    @Akwardturtle Місяць тому +20

    I filed a restraining order against my on/off ex gf of 4yrs. She claimed she was pregnant, so i called DCF since she said in text "Ima gonna make you pay, and youll never see it." 2 days before our hearing, she filed false allegations against me, then didn't show for court. This lady feels I owe her yet we haven't lived together since 2021 when she kicked me out the apartment that she lost 3 months later due to non-payment. She was homeless for 1.5yrs and finally got section 8. I in that same time, started a new career, gotten a new vehicle and started an LLC. She's determined to destroy me.

  • @keithfazio6519
    @keithfazio6519 Місяць тому +12

    I wish I found you sooner. My lawyers were horrible. They never did any discovery. I had to deploy with the Army and while I was gone she went to court and got devastating financial rulings. I recently learned about NPD and narcissistic abuse. When I watched a presentation that described the relationship with a narcissistic. My jaw dropped because it was my experience the presenter was describing.

  • @Vihabpointe
    @Vihabpointe Місяць тому +59

    I dont want to die from my ex. Im shutting down. Protective orders and all and yet without an experienced attorney or the ability to speak up due to tortures, neglect and starvation, its useless. My life means something. My children and I have not survived for nothing. Prayers and Justice are needed. It's all dependent on me being able to not vomit or shut down.

    • @l.l.1566
      @l.l.1566 Місяць тому +13

      My prayers are with you and your children. Been exactly where you are. My best advice is surround yourself with support, go to therapy, do everything the court instructs because they are looking for the most cooperative party so they can move along. The narcissist true colors are exposed because they can't follow rules. There is light on the other side. I promise. Hold on dear one. ❤

    • @lauralayton8885
      @lauralayton8885 Місяць тому +2

      @@Vihabpointe praying for you! God can move the heart of a judge, comfort & strengthen the abused, & assure Ultimate Justice for all. Jesus won't leave or forsake you!

    • @bestgrandma2844
      @bestgrandma2844 Місяць тому +2

      You CAN DO THIS!! I don't know what it's like to suffer this but think of what's at steak. If you're not around, you're kids are stuck with her.
      I KNOW FOR A FACT we all have this strength inside us. Maybe some counseling would be a good start for you to claim your power back. Then start proceedings.
      DOCUMENT everything you can remember now bc it counts. Even if you don't document on day it happened, if it's written down it becomes a LEGAL DOCUMENT!

    • @christy1768
      @christy1768 Місяць тому +1

      Hire private security if you feel that threatened or keep others constantly around to protect

    • @Deinesness
      @Deinesness Місяць тому +1

      Oh wow, so sorry for that. May your hopes and strength come from the Lord Jesus! May freedoms for you and your children come swiftly and may nothing wicked weigh you down. Yes, all of your lives matter!

  • @BradRaiche
    @BradRaiche Місяць тому +134

    Stumper..... My ex is a covert and the judge in our custody case is a malignant or psychopath.
    I was abused for ten years, had all the evidence, but the judge ruled against me at every turn. The judge let my ex take our son to a different state and I have not had contact with him since February 2022.
    I can't express the sorrow, rage and powerlessness I feel.
    The world is unfathomably sick and cruel.

    • @samuelgordon88
      @samuelgordon88 Місяць тому +11

      @@BradRaiche were approaching the end of the last days my bro this was all written, only prayer to the creator can help us

    • @samuelgordon88
      @samuelgordon88 Місяць тому +3

      Pray for strength, comfort, healing, guidance, forgiveness for your wrongs and flto be reunited with your son. I wish you all the best bro

    • @Natty183
      @Natty183 Місяць тому +1

      Pray to Maa Kali ❤

    • @Lackingwanderlust
      @Lackingwanderlust Місяць тому +3

      I’m so sorry you’re facing this. Hang on. The truth will out.

    • @rosieE121
      @rosieE121 Місяць тому +3

      @@BradRaiche I faced much of that too. Judges and lawyers and law enforcement as well are biased as anyone else and don't want to admit it. In the end I felt anger toward the system that permitted and encouraged abuse to go on to children and spouses in a divorce case.

  • @honeykittn
    @honeykittn Місяць тому +17

    Amazing share. Thank you. I did all this in my divorce and took a potentially $300k 3 year divorce into 30k and 9 months approx. We share a child and contract is in play but all the techniques learned from you and others keeps me so sane.

  • @jonahkolell
    @jonahkolell 2 дні тому

    I needed this 3 years ago. Every time I showed up to court, it was a different story, a different telling of events with different dates.

  • @nancyterkeurst518
    @nancyterkeurst518 Місяць тому +20

    Yes. I kept detailed journal for particularly for the last five of the marriage. I buried it behind stuff in a deep drawer. You tore the house apart while I was at work. He ripped all of them out and destroyed them so I have nothing and now he has left me with nothing. I’m 76. This has ruined my life.

    • @nancyterkeurst518
      @nancyterkeurst518 Місяць тому +5

      He tore the house apart…. Not you!

    • @audrelyngrace1695
      @audrelyngrace1695 Місяць тому +1

      God sees all and bring everything needed to your memory. Your life is NOT ruined. You will be victorious.

    • @lynnt2584
      @lynnt2584 Місяць тому

      Amen, God first, we’re alive, keep going

  • @darlenecuker9711
    @darlenecuker9711 Місяць тому +10

    I could have used this 35 years ago. Your whole channel is helpful.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Місяць тому +1

      I’m so glad you have found it helpful! ❤

  • @googleuser2480
    @googleuser2480 6 днів тому +2

    My narc tried to smear campaign me after I filed a protection order and had him evicted from my home. I felt unheard and unbelieved. Since then, I was grated a final protection order, an extension, he was arrested and found guilty on multiple charges of abuse and violations of two protection orders. My narcissist tried to ruin my reputation through lies and in the end, I exposed him by telling the truth. I feel vindicated and heard. I no longer care what HIS family and HIS friends think 😌 because the law and the facts are on my side.

  • @InHisSservice
    @InHisSservice Місяць тому +8

    excellent. language of the court. where you build your connection between what you care about and what the judge will care about.

  • @bonnieyuse5876
    @bonnieyuse5876 Місяць тому +76

    My X said he would Drag me through Court and Destroy me with Lies...his Sister was a Lawyer and his Dad a Politician! There was no Winning!

    • @molliem1441
      @molliem1441 Місяць тому +3

      oh man - did you win

    • @suesanders1169
      @suesanders1169 Місяць тому

      @@bonnieyuse5876 If you are free ( divorced ) , that is your win. 🙂

    • @ilovejustinmuucho
      @ilovejustinmuucho Місяць тому +7

      With this kind of thinking you already lost ...your confidence.

    • @redbluegreen369
      @redbluegreen369 Місяць тому +10

      @@bonnieyuse5876 all u had to do is get a voice recorder and trigger the other person and record their threats. Never give up without trying. Ur situation is nothing compared to mine as my husband's sister is a sorceress who can control my attorney and judge too. Karma is way powerful and thats what I believe and follow

    • @redbluegreen369
      @redbluegreen369 Місяць тому +4

      Karma is more powerful. My husband's sister is a sorceress who can control even the judge. I never gave up.

  • @meridianmoon-2
    @meridianmoon-2 2 місяці тому +33

    YES! But still next to impossible!

  • @AmyLynnValone-wz2tt
    @AmyLynnValone-wz2tt Місяць тому +22

    I have been told by multiple attorneys that in Pennsylvania the law is totally different, all the abuse that I went through physically sexually emotionally does not stand up in court.

    • @alihall676
      @alihall676 Місяць тому +8

      This is true. Pa laws don’t cover this type of abuse. It won’t be part of any legal process. Family court system doesn’t care. Everyone within the family law system is lining each other’s pockets.

    • @cheriefinley2097
      @cheriefinley2097 Місяць тому

      @@AmyLynnValone-wz2tt wow that sucks. I live in Pennsylvania and I am trying to help a friend who suffered from narcissistic abuse. They were together for 5 years but weren't married. He loaned her $12,000 to open a business and he wants her to pay him back

    • @user-xq5ih5oz2u
      @user-xq5ih5oz2u Місяць тому

      Same in Tennessee. It’s such a good ole boy country club - and, the women in the club are as bad as the men.

    • @rhondamason9171
      @rhondamason9171 Місяць тому +1

      That's very sad to hear. I just had a female attorney tell me in Virginia he has right to give him protection via a PPO so he can keep me silent after many years of silent treatment. I did not let that attorney affect me negatively I decided she was a b**** unconcerned about women's issues and I am continuing to look for another lawyer. I need to look into if it is the same in Ohio as it is in Pennsylvania

    • @rhondamason9171
      @rhondamason9171 Місяць тому +1

      For those who need just learn that in the state of Ohio they do recognize and address emotional psychological and sexual abuse

  • @tombigger53
    @tombigger53 Місяць тому +12

    HEY THANKS FOR DIGGIN THRU THE FELONY EMOTIONAL ABUSE CRIME AND LAW GAP

  • @privateprivate8366
    @privateprivate8366 Місяць тому +12

    I never thought to try to prove narcissistic abuse, in my probate case. But, other than that, it’s good that the only communication there’s been, between me and this sibling, is via email and in hearings and case management conferences, where just the court, itself, has records of how this person is a pathological liar.
    Still, I am pro se and am trying to close this case. Unfortunately, a small issue has prevented closure.
    One thing I did, which I’m unsure if it was impactful, was to threaten that I would file a number of individual motions against the defendant, in more than direct proportion, to the previous motion they filed and were denied. Obviously, I know that the judge wants to close the case so, they don’t want to hear that. But, again, I know they have to go by law and I don’t know how impactful that would be.
    A very small thing has been a help and
    That is that I keep all records related to this case, in zippered neoprene laptop cases. It’s just a good way to ensure I don’t lose the smallest receipt, even when I have to take paperwork to court, when it’s not a phone hearing.

  • @markjayw666
    @markjayw666 2 місяці тому +48

    Exactly! My wife got caught stealing hence WHY I FILED! And she kidnapped my child and would not allow me any contact! I have said this 50000000 times, my lawyers will not say it!!!!!!

    • @mirellawentz4688
      @mirellawentz4688 Місяць тому +6

      Get a new attorney to represent you… if you feel the one you have is truly representing you

    • @michalismisos5637
      @michalismisos5637 Місяць тому +1

      Exactly The same

    • @MrProfessional777
      @MrProfessional777 Місяць тому

      Lawyers allegiance is to the Court. Not you.

    • @markjayw666
      @markjayw666 Місяць тому

      @@MrProfessional777Nope their client, who is PAYING THEM. So funny

    • @MrProfessional777
      @MrProfessional777 Місяць тому

      @@markjayw666
      Delusional.

  • @startrekmom8001
    @startrekmom8001 Місяць тому +5

    Thank you for your video and sharing your expertise. My ex husband is still taking me back forth to court. Recently im in court now bc he moved 1.5 hrs away n he wants me to pay toll feed n drive farther away to pick up drop off during parental time. He lied in court n said i withheld kids but i didn't. When i responded to this lie judge stopped me n said that I was fighting with him. I wasn't. Its beyond exhausting. He now lives in rural area n opened his door n told girls to get out his house. His fiance stopped him but he manipulated the investigator n case was unfounded which means in his sick mind kids lied

  • @Arche2011
    @Arche2011 Місяць тому +9

    Amazing how you explained the situation of the Judge in court ...

  • @jessicaselenecenteno
    @jessicaselenecenteno Місяць тому +19

    Document everything.

  • @ronyerke9250
    @ronyerke9250 Місяць тому +5

    I find it pretty absurd when someone wants to sever their spousal responsibilities but maintain or impose spousal support. It's so corrupt.

  • @BrockMarketingRnD
    @BrockMarketingRnD Місяць тому +10

    The lawyers are the only ones that win when people fight 🙄

  • @CookieMonster-hm8hx
    @CookieMonster-hm8hx Місяць тому +3

    Thank you for giving me your perspective, and emphasizing what to do to make sure that the process is as effective as possible. I definitely like the idea of being in the driving seat as you described, and your advice reinforces my confidence that I can do it. I will achieve my objectives by taking your perspectives into account, so that the outcome is one that you would celebrate.

  • @tomgesner9731
    @tomgesner9731 Місяць тому +30

    My wife has turned my daughter against me and making it look like it’s me and no therapist can pin point it and they say your daughter has anxiety

    • @kathymcgirt8944
      @kathymcgirt8944 Місяць тому +2

      That’s pretty easy. The therapist needs to ask 1: How do you feel about your Dad. 2: What makes you feel that way. 3: How do you know that Dad did/does/feels that?

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 Місяць тому +1

      And ask the child why they believe something. Is it something someone told them? Or something they actually remember happening with their own memory? Get them to question what is true, where did this idea come from.
      Separate facts from opinions.
      I had to do this myself because I had thoughts that were not my own rattling around in my head. Maybe from the ex, maybe an overly critical teacher, who knows. IS IT TRUE? It's a great question to ask yourself and have asked if your kids, even if they're adults now.

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 Місяць тому +1

      Kid probably does have anxiety. To not upset mom. Because afraid of mom.
      Parental Alienation. That's what happened to me too.

  • @rocky1raquel
    @rocky1raquel Місяць тому

    🙏🏼Thank you for being out there and standing up for/with us.!
    My ex withheld spousal maintenance to pay for child support that I shouldn’t owe (screwed me in court; financial abuse) he makes six figures, I live in my car now.
    One year left before the chance to vacate orders based on improper service disappears.

  • @gerra0112
    @gerra0112 Місяць тому +1

    I liked, subscribed and shared. I have seen what these people are capable of. More people need to see videos like this.
    Thanks! ❤

  • @dianacardenas1518
    @dianacardenas1518 2 місяці тому +13

    If all a narcissist in some capacity, judges plates are full .. make it easy … it’s all about the $$ … ugh - the root to Evil… in the interim being abused and striving worth each day😢 where’s the human kindness … we lost it! So sad and pathetic

  • @brooke5395
    @brooke5395 Місяць тому +1

    I've been so blessed. I have a magnificent attorney, coparent counselor and the judges aren't having any of it.

  • @nobodyspecial-zt7ke
    @nobodyspecial-zt7ke Місяць тому +7

    Wow... this is my kids mom and her father to a T. They lie, they manipulate, they wind me up on purpose and then ridicule me as crazy WHILE THEY PLAY THE VICTIM
    The two of them are beyond sick

  • @drfill9210
    @drfill9210 Місяць тому +3

    The one thing you have to your advantage is that behaviour that the person does to irritate you or inflame you does not necessarily equate well with the court but you have to point that out for example if they continually lie that that's fine but if they lie in the courtroom then they are mud to the judge so you've got to take advantage of their capacity to lie and catch them out

  • @cpete3336
    @cpete3336 Місяць тому +3

    Amazing information, I am in the middle of this. Thanks for your advice

  • @suzanautry2927
    @suzanautry2927 Місяць тому +2

    Good points to make making the court care!

  • @sandmn9
    @sandmn9 3 дні тому

    Nice I always want to learn more to protect myself and others!

  • @ValentinDelarosa-c4b
    @ValentinDelarosa-c4b Місяць тому +1

    I need help with my situation I've been targeted all my life especially the last 10 years, major narc.abuse thank you beautiful lady and God bless u and yours Valentino D

  • @lucybraun8969
    @lucybraun8969 20 годин тому

    What she talks about was 100% how my divorce from a narc went. So frustrating. I never even got the costs of all the motions I won!

  • @sommermilhous3594
    @sommermilhous3594 2 місяці тому +17

    What about if you don't have a lawyer

    • @joannvanarnam2267
      @joannvanarnam2267 Місяць тому

      @@sommermilhous3594 nothing gets done

    • @donnadumare
      @donnadumare Місяць тому

      Like medical care, our Liberty depends on personally being rich enough.....

  • @merchernel123
    @merchernel123 7 днів тому

    I am so grateful for this video!!!

  • @FirelillyHeals
    @FirelillyHeals Місяць тому +1

    Commenting at the yes part 6:38
    I’ve been fighting my son’s father in court for the second time now. It took me this second time being in court to understand this. The first time we went to court I was alone, (he abandoned us, threatened us, you name it.) I was feeling low and when he served me papers for full custody I panicked. I tried to talk about the abuse, (no police reports) and the emotional distress and bullying does not matter to the courts. It’s infuriating that someone like this can just get away with being the worst with no consequences. He got half of my son’s time in court because they’re going to award a father with time. (Even tho I never took it from him he was always welcome to see his son but never showed up)
    This time, I have learned that facts matter. I’ve been documenting and planning for him to file another case against me for full custody. I’m not even fighting him, I’m fighting the court. I’m answering the question they want to know, and he can say and do whatever he wants. He can throw all the fits he wants to his lawyers, his delusions of grandeur isn’t enough to take my baby away all because he wants to hurt me. I know his REAL motives, and I have to play the game he throws at me and prove it’s a waste of time. He does nothing that shows the court he should get more parental power than what he has now, he should be in his life and he’s been doing fine. He just needs to not use our son as a pawn to hurt me for whatever delusion reason he wants to hurt me for.

  • @Wendy-lb6do
    @Wendy-lb6do 6 днів тому

    Yes, this absolutely makes sense. I am so sad and emotionally beat down. My mother has legit taken my daughter away
    I see her, however I'd bet my daughter is BRAINWASHED. She hates me. My mother hasn't allowed me one say in my adult child's 21 years of life. My father and I are also severely emotionally abused. Thank you for your informative videos
    I have learned a lot.

  • @christinewright2829
    @christinewright2829 Місяць тому +2

    OMG. The court thing is exactly what happened to me!

  • @scottbateman4318
    @scottbateman4318 Місяць тому

    All fantastic advice thank you!!! Unfortunately, I have a BIG problem with organisation, for so many reasons, ADHD, completely overwhelmed self employed single dad, depression etc etc!!!!! Excuses excuses I'm sorry!!!! One very unfortunate thing about my ex is that she takes everything out on our children, so not only do I have the problem of no one listening or acknowledging what's going on, but on the occasions I've moved to try & make things better for our kids & myself, she employs anything & everything to maintain total control, even if it has terrible consequences on our children!!!! Its 100% a catch 22 situation unfortunately, & I could write a mini series detailing all the unthinkable stuff she's done to date!!!!! I'm ashamed to say that, the thought of ever going back to court to face more of her accusations & lies, always leaves me feeling completely overwhelmed & afraid, knowing what a gifted performer she is, with seemingly NO limits to her insanity!!!! I have downloaded your book on Audible however!!!!!

  • @katiebocon
    @katiebocon Місяць тому +4

    Love your posts. Just bought your book "Sly the Bully". How to deal with narcissistic and manipulative boss 😊?

  • @BeCrankey
    @BeCrankey 4 дні тому

    Yes, I just found you about 2 weeks ago and have watched a few of your videos. I really wish I had found you a year ago. 40yrs. Of marriage 2 adult children 3 1/3 years of her 3 different attorneys now 2 weeks away from my deposition and court on 10/22 like i feel like no one on base 4 runs behind 9th inning and i am now up at bat. I didn’t understand or have a concept of just how encompassing her narcissism and gas lighting was. I don’t remember which of your videos I was watching when I had to take a seat because of the shock and fear of finally realizing my situation .

  • @ap33zzi
    @ap33zzi Місяць тому

    This video is really dope. I needed the tips and the encouragement at the end.
    Thank you🙏🏿

  • @jackiep5009
    @jackiep5009 Місяць тому +6

    File a domestic violence report the second they smack something out of your hand grab your arm ect. It will not make it to getting arrested likely. But it was INVALUABLE in court to me!!!

    • @sovereignsister
      @sovereignsister Місяць тому

      I did this and had pictures of the bruises and yet it was deemed a divorce ploy and he got off scott free. I even endured the sheriff in the aisle next to me say this exact thing out loud trying to shame me. The devil indeed exists.

    • @liviavolosen2979
      @liviavolosen2979 Місяць тому +1

      Where do I get a copy of it? Local police? I had it happen but didn’t keep a copy of it, I believe it was given to him, the person I’m trying to divorce.

  • @mollyperry6981
    @mollyperry6981 26 днів тому

    Thank you for explaining better, how Court works.

  • @lisab7977
    @lisab7977 Місяць тому +3

    I have been documenting, but it STILL would be my word against his. He doesn’t use a cell phone so there is no text, voicemail or video. Nobody will believe me anyway. And by keeping track of how it treats me it only makes it look like I am the one with the problem. I can’t win.

  • @sommermilhous3594
    @sommermilhous3594 2 місяці тому +9

    Yes . Ugh, how do they manipulate so many people

    • @PJF56
      @PJF56 Місяць тому +5

      They have been practicing all their lives.

    • @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
      @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Місяць тому +2

      Well, one common thing they start doing is called love-bombing, where they make you think that you're the most perfect person they've ever met and they are utterly delighted to get to know you. If we had never heard that term or never heard of narcissism, we'd just think they were infatuated, enthralled, captivated, aka falling in love with us, and making us feel very special. A Covert narcissist can change their behavior at whatever point in time they choose. You can get totally blindsided One Day by something crazy that makes no sense. If you don't understand narcissism, it's super easy to make the situation worse by simply asking them a question. Now they give you the silent treatment. It's all very cold and calculated. Most likely, You're a kind, normal person who had no idea what was going on. I was a senior widow for 10 years, so I was apparently Ripe for the Pickins, as they say.

  • @jp3241-dpgh
    @jp3241-dpgh Місяць тому +1

    I was told don’t even mention that he was a narcissist while going through court for domestic violence. The state’s attorneys office shut me down.

  • @craz4mom
    @craz4mom Місяць тому +1

    Yes, first time hearing this - thank you!

  • @shawn1995.
    @shawn1995. Місяць тому +5

    I love that you put thought into this for npd victims, unfortunately my smear started when I was 6 by my psychopath mother and father and spread to a much larger group of people, out of gang/group mentality and fear of certain reprocutions if they don't tow the line few express empathy in fear of retaliation. Thank you Again Rebecca

  • @brca1853
    @brca1853 Місяць тому +1

    Very practical and useful advices, thank you for sharing

  • @RuthRodriguez-zb2in
    @RuthRodriguez-zb2in Місяць тому

    I love and deeply appreciate your education. All yiu work is on loint and helps me get ahead.❤❤❤❤

  • @christopherranderson
    @christopherranderson Місяць тому

    Thanks I am dealing with an issue like this and appreciate the resources and will start watching more of your videos …

  • @fernwebb5568
    @fernwebb5568 25 днів тому

    I need a lawyer. Have a team of narcissists tearing my life apart. Altered medical records, severe life long injury, lost home and businesses, complete loss of privacy, severe slander probably with altered images, attempts to set me up as criminal. Can’t get them all but have constitutional right to sue USA at this point and would like to do civil suit if not criminal charges against at least 4 of them. I kept evidence, journals, pictures, and more. I am sure I am in the 7-9 figure law suit arena. Topping it off is severe abuse of disabled veterans, elder abuse. And can prove they threw money at community members to block any form
    Of help. Ring leader made a pass over 6 years ago and I refused. I had begun to see what he was. Malignant narcissist with genius IQ and a pack of friends who find pleasure in harming. Sadists thru and thru. Any leads out there? Fed level attorneys. Not all are brave. So many attorneys only take cases that fit into little boxes and are totally safe for their reputations. They still prosper. Anyone know a legal pit bull?

  • @Mrs.Candice_Heller
    @Mrs.Candice_Heller Місяць тому +2

    Yes! Definitely makes sense!

  • @Snafubar001
    @Snafubar001 Місяць тому +2

    The language of the court, got it.

  • @AlishaPurkis
    @AlishaPurkis Місяць тому +31

    This is so good. My husband scared me so much. He would punch doors etc. I fled with our 1st child to my parents. I went back with him as he apologized for all the drama. We have a second child now and he owns a bar and we don't see much of him except on Sundays. It's ok because I am at peace being with the kids and taking care of the house.

    • @GwendolynPorter-w6c
      @GwendolynPorter-w6c Місяць тому +18

      You were crazy not to flee with the first child! Now he's going to make you pay for leaving! It will not get better because he knows YOU'RE SCARED! IT WILL GET WORSE! I had an abusive ex husband! Guess how many kids he got from me!!!!

    • @weirdoswinit4876
      @weirdoswinit4876 Місяць тому

      @@GwendolynPorter-w6c That is a very unkind response. Stay in your own lane.
      Everyone does the best with what they have and what they know. We are all here to learn and do not want to experience judgement for our choices while under duress.

    • @prashantvispute3
      @prashantvispute3 Місяць тому +4

      That is so twisted. I find it illogical and absurd. No offense-Peace 💫

    • @rosieE121
      @rosieE121 Місяць тому +6

      @@AlishaPurkis I understand because ta similar thing happened to me. I didn’t understand the abuse cycle and that the poor excuse for an apology didn’t hold. 20 years later an another child I saw there was no choice. Jekyll and Hyde came together. Safety was obviously a big problem and my children were in danger too. Fortunately with help from close relatives I was able to get away, and fortunately a shelter was available to me and my children. It took several weeks for me to get a hold on my thoughts which were clouded in fear. I kept a journal in the shelter to help me keep things straight. That involved writing all feelings and thoughts about current situation at the time. I felt very confused but knew I was much better off having left. Years later there are still issues as having some flashbacks that cause me to feel confused again, feeling abandoned by lawyers and courts who said I was doing well in the case though it didn't seem like it to me, the other side being more expensive, meaner, and dishonest to their advantage! In the end, I think it was and is my life and I value every minute of it hard as it was at times. As the saying goes, life isn't a bowl of cherries. It has its pits too.

    • @AlishaPurkis
      @AlishaPurkis Місяць тому +3

      @@rosieE121 so sorry that happened to you. It's hard to recognize the abuse for sure.

  • @kaygankbritt
    @kaygankbritt Місяць тому

    Yes, like @rebecca zung says,’learn to speak the language of the court’ ❤

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 24 дні тому +1

    The “love-bomb version” of a person is what we need to learn to wait to find out. We must learn to wait to find out the real version of the person.
    Learn someone people. Give it time to see how someone changes. It happens quickly. Don’t be too attached to the love-bomb version to let go and protect yourself. You CANNOT bring back the love-bomb version. You cannot love that person back. It was a show to pull you in.
    Also, stop looking for love-bombing and thinking that that is love. Look for love, not love-bombing. If it feels too much it likely IS too much.

  • @StormySoftness
    @StormySoftness Місяць тому +1

    Is anyone here familiar with the ARD program in Pennsylvania? It’s when after a first time offense, the abuser can have their record expunged. I’m not dealing with a divorce, but being assaulted by a narcissist ex-fiancé. I want to do anything I can to prevent him from getting ARD. Any advice?

  • @ednamuniz3207
    @ednamuniz3207 Місяць тому +1

    Is it ok to tell a narcissist that he is a narcissist? Please because I so need to tell my son-in-law this when he blames my daughter for abandoning their marriage and ruining their children’s lives by leaving him finally. Will it take him meeting someone new to give my daughter some peace?

    • @aliciaduncan5711
      @aliciaduncan5711 12 днів тому

      @@ednamuniz3207 They will never believe you when you tell them that they are a narcissist!! No matter how you say it to them or what you have to try and prove to them that they are a narcissist. Most likely they will get angry and turn it around on you or your daughter. It’s literally impossible to get them to see anything you want them to see about themselves if it’s negative. But if your daughter is in fact with a narcissist person or someone that has NPD she needs to leave and go to as little contact as possible since they have kids! My best advice is to do as much research as you can or get her to do research so you will both know what to look for!! I am trying to leave my kids father and we have been together for almost 11 years and it’s been so traumatic for myself as well as my kids! Good luck I hope this helps u!

  • @kimberlyconner1439
    @kimberlyconner1439 2 дні тому

    I divorced my abuser in 2012, but because my lawyer wasnt very good, the judge went the neutral route. 50/50 custody and decision-making. Its been torture coparenting with my abuser!

  • @auntieree
    @auntieree Місяць тому

    I wish you were here 18 years ago. I had a GAL who understood but still wanted to be fair to my ex, and the children were still alienated from me, which has caused a huge rift with us now. They're ridiculous.

  • @jolesliewhitten6545
    @jolesliewhitten6545 Місяць тому +1

    Just plan quietly and RUN!

  • @jomo9454
    @jomo9454 Місяць тому

    Good video and I would like to add if you use recorded evidence check the recording consent laws - in my state making an audio recording of someone without their consent is punishable with 5 years on a felony charge unless you're a child 16 or under documenting abuse or LEO doing an official investigation.

  • @bohemia9956
    @bohemia9956 Місяць тому

    Did anyone saw the Ashley Benwfield trial? Im still in shock how little people know about DV, malignabt narcicissm and gow they still feel entitled to judge, blame, shame and re-traumatise the victim

  • @klt479
    @klt479 Місяць тому

    This video is somewhat helpful clarifying what I am likely to run into and what type of lawyer to get if I decide I can no long continue to loving my wife as she is.

  • @4514rooster
    @4514rooster 6 годин тому

    I feel like a lot of narcissist are trying to use the “ coercive control” thing against victims in court. Has anyone heard this term being used by a narcissist?

  • @ryanmcbride6411
    @ryanmcbride6411 Місяць тому

    Excellent information, YES thank you!

  • @lindavincent678
    @lindavincent678 Місяць тому

    For the last year eight years, I’ve been through hell shit and back. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna go on a courtroom and put myself through that at my age. No way I have a good idea.

  • @leighatkins22
    @leighatkins22 7 днів тому

    All the dipshits around me attack me when they don't get what they want from me and call me a narcissist, but often my reaction to them when they all attack at once, is to go away and try to get away from all of them and seek to just be alone, which is of course NOT what they want.
    I think my behaviour of just leaving and shutting down is exactly what proves that i am NOT a narcissist, while their continuing attack stance is exactly what DOES make them a narcissist.

  • @artistirmafeliciarodriguez7752
    @artistirmafeliciarodriguez7752 Місяць тому

    I had to get an attorney because of my narcissistic boss. I told HR about the issue, they did nothing, I told my Operations Manager, he did nothing. So I started recording him, and they knew because I kept saying "I am writing it down and recording it". They called me a liar, full of **** and prove it while yelling at me and putting me down while at the same time HR was on the speaker phone. I was fired for recording them. It is truly hard.

  • @SueT-MC-DSI
    @SueT-MC-DSI Місяць тому +1

    Yeah, so how would one go about taking their employer who is an attorney to court and proving him to be abusive person aka narcissist.. I've worked with numerous malignant narcissists in the law field and there is no recourse against them. Not that I've seen, so when does an attorney take another attorney to task for being a narcissist. I'd really like to know.

  • @beMOTIONdESIGN
    @beMOTIONdESIGN Місяць тому

    Good stuff! thank you for this!

  • @brianne8258
    @brianne8258 Місяць тому

    Man, I wish, as a child from a narcissistic, emotional & psychological abusive family couple, it was possible to get redress for the s*** I have had to go through and the resources I have had to spend to get myself and my siblings out of that person's control and abuse.

  • @serapf.9768
    @serapf.9768 Місяць тому +3

    I’m going through this.

    • @liviavolosen2979
      @liviavolosen2979 Місяць тому +1

      Same! I rely on God but I realize now I also must be prepared! Keep your cool and be prepared!

  • @drcliffbrickman6087
    @drcliffbrickman6087 Місяць тому +4

    Perhaps applying for a JURY Trial could bring behaviors to the light of common sense.
    - Dr. Cliff

    • @jessicathemom
      @jessicathemom Місяць тому +1

      @@drcliffbrickman6087 yes. This. Unfortunately, only a handful of states permit jury trials in custody/divorce cases. I am in such a state and realized this was the only way out of my hellhole but the narc has been able to get the jury trial reset 3x over past 2 years.

    • @liviavolosen2979
      @liviavolosen2979 Місяць тому

      Can you tell me more? How is a jury trial diff. from Court ? I have a jury trial set for Oct. over divorce.

  • @janisnewman1832
    @janisnewman1832 24 дні тому

    The judge in my case has sanctioned me from providing any info, or speaking about abuse, infidelity or Narcissism my to be ex is an ATTORNEY! Help🙏🏻😢

  • @maggseb
    @maggseb Місяць тому +1

    That would be extremely hard for me to prove. My narc doesn't answer any emails, or texts to show the narc he is. How could I prove it?

  • @UnruleyJ
    @UnruleyJ Місяць тому

    I let a narssacist move in with me and it turned into a horrible abuse situation and he shattered both bones in my wrist.I finally got a temporary restraining order on him and got him out of my house.He blatantly violated that RO 15x in the 30 days until the hearing date.So I brought proof of all of that to the hearing.Bit I didn't think I needed to bring proof that it was my house to begin with.Well he brought false documents that said it was his house and he also brought a friend to lie for him and to say he never broke my wrist and the judge believed all of it.I was ordered to get personal belongings only and to vacate the house within 24hrs and to never return.All protection orders were dismissed against him and the judge refused to listen to anything else I had to say.I had to walk away from everything I owned and let him take over my house.Then he kept calling the cops on me saying I was breaking into his house and stealing his stuff when I would be nowhere near the house.There was nothing I could do to get any of it reversed.I lost everything.

  • @jackoh991
    @jackoh991 Місяць тому

    No fault means different things in US and UK especially when it comes to finances so worth considering if watching this video in the UK.
    The reason for divorce doesn't usually affect financial outcomes in divorce in the UK

  • @luv2liveactivated
    @luv2liveactivated 24 дні тому

    I wish i world have come across you 2 years ago my court date is next Monday

  • @victoriathompson2246
    @victoriathompson2246 10 днів тому

    The 5 children are all young adults. They are all damaged from being alienated from me & forced to see my ex, by the courts! All 3 girls never want children & the 2 boys are very avoidant. I couldn’t get a lawyer for 13 yrs. I just wanted to see my children. There’s 1 payment left to the narc. He will finally be out of my life. I’ve lost 4 out 5 kids. Somehow I have to grieve the loss of those 4 kids, I don’t think I’ll ever get to see them again. Presenting the law did nothing but ruin my life.

  • @e.1766
    @e.1766 Місяць тому

    Rebecca, can a disabled adult child Sue their (narc) parents for denying them care in childhood, sabotaging their care in adulthood, which lead to adulthood disability? If you see this question, would you please address this? Thank you for all your advice

  • @leslacez
    @leslacez Місяць тому

    imspending money but studing the narc and the child custody laws and child support laws but im so heated im getting down to business and shineing the light on her and i need this video thanks ! help with my education process

  • @bigjon420
    @bigjon420 Місяць тому

    3:25 judges get a certain amount from each instrument that come across their desk.
    Every "judge" who pushing statutes do so in their private corporate ministerial capacity has a clerks. Judges who push statutes do so in their ministerial capacity and not their Discretionary and it doesnt matter if their municipal, common please, district or criminal or civil.

  • @joe7665
    @joe7665 9 днів тому

    in kansas they won’t let txt and recordings in court, now a days people can manipulate recordings.
    Get that person on OFW

  • @1o1carolina53
    @1o1carolina53 Місяць тому

    grateful for your content

  • @salauerman7082
    @salauerman7082 2 місяці тому +2

    Over $10,000 in arrears on child support that quit accruing 12 years ago: felony.
    That seems like a good card to play, to get concession from the ex regarding the standby guardian.

    • @twovirginiacats3753
      @twovirginiacats3753 Місяць тому

      Some of them will do anything to avoid child support payments. One friend chased her ex back and forth across the country for years. He would move and within a few weeks she would find him and start garnishing his wages again. Finally, he just started working off the books all the time. It is so sad for the children.

  • @Kathleen-ye5bf
    @Kathleen-ye5bf Місяць тому

    And the children suffer the most. I hate that having to fight for survival hurts my kids. Court and legal process has no business in family life in the way it has evolved over time. It’s all so traumatic and sad.

  • @Karal-lg3nx
    @Karal-lg3nx Місяць тому

    Just this morning I noticed that my latest set of notes of the missing items and the dates and times… are (again) missing from my notebook! They enter my studio when I’m gone… that is the one thing that is constant… my notes disappear… now I see why 😡

    • @kimberlysutton1690
      @kimberlysutton1690 Місяць тому

      Did you notice what your kid was wearing? Or if they had a smile on their face? Do you know what they are watching and into? Do your notes mention how proud you are of the kids? Wasted lots of years in bad notes, it blocks a spiritual path of living above the pain.

  • @rikkigratrix3386
    @rikkigratrix3386 5 днів тому

    So judges want to hear about how their actions violated a tort? I.e. negligence, conversion, defamation etc?