HOW TO STOP MISSING THE NARCISSIST
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- Опубліковано 12 гру 2021
- How to not miss the narcissist. This is a question that is asked frequently. It depends on your healing path and the ending of the relationship. If your relationship ended recently it will take time for you to become educated and heal. If your relationship ended years ago this should be completely different. The path is yours and understanding that you were with a manipulative person who was not genuine is the first step to not missing them. For contact information on speaking engagements or inquiries please email me here …narcdailyvideos@gmail.com. #newsupplynarcissist #narcissistnewsupply #empowerment #growth #narcissism #narcissist #healing #health #education #eggshells #traumabond #silenttreatment #stonewalling #selfworth #newsupply #gaslighting
good message... so hard for me it's my only son just had to say. now i look at him as nothing but a ghost my best word
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It's a grieving process. When you realize that the relationship you thought you had with them was nothing of the sort. It is such a huge betrayal. It's hard to wrap our head around. We definitely miss the person we THOUGHT they were. The person we fell in love with. That person is gone forever
Thank you for sharing this 🙌💯🙏
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Worst then Betrayal if u TRUELY Loved them through thick & thin
@@gabriellamashiah3965 That's for sure!!! The worst betrayal ever. I gave it my all and received nothing in return. I could never connect on a deep level. That cut to the core.
Beautifully said Christina. So true
So true. It is hard to come to terms that you really just loved what you wished it could have been.
Completely correct 💯💯
Yep....wishing you find something beautiful❤
Yep exactly!!!!
Absolutely 💯
Thirty six Year's of marriage. I don't remember the last 5 years of marriage. The last year was horrible. I couldn't have believed that any one would lie 31 year's. The ex husband has a preacher's son, I found out that he told me that he didn't believe in God. I don't remember much after that. I awoke in 2017 March. I had walked home after running out of gas. The ex & granddaughter saw the car. He towed it home. The truth was I didn't think he would care. That's when he heard the word's 'I didn't think of that'. I was put off for so very long that I didn't think of him.
My heart goes out to anyone who comes into a relationship with a Narcissist. They are emotionally dangerous. Thank u Andrew.
Welcome 💯🙏😌
Oh My God so dangerous
@nicholecornes1915 the absolute worst. Hugs
@@MeghenFarley hugs and blessings back
Definitely miss the person he pretended to be. That’s the part I think about most. I had a therapist suggest that I keep a journal of all the horrible things he did to me, I can open it and remind myself of who he really is. The future faking was horrible. We had the rest of our lives together planned, but it was all fake. It’s all just so hard to process.
This takes time.. journaling is strongly suggested..🙏🙌💪😉
Yes I miss the person he pretended to be.
I need to do this!!! Write everything he did or said bad to me & remember it every time I try to cry over us being together cause it was ALL Just lies
@@gabriellamashiah3965 yes because we only want to remember the little bit of good we saw in them.
Truth!
It has been 5 years separated and no contact. In the beginning heart and brain were so far apart and was still in a fog just trying to understand what happened. I am no longer in that fog , my heart and thoughts are so much clearer. I do miss the fantasy of what I thought I had…but that is what it was. Just a fantasy. Looking back, I see all the behaviours I ignored and making excuses for him. I am better off living a life with peace and a life where I have my own freedom. Even if I am alone. I have people in my life now that care about me. I gained my confidence back and I finally got me back.
Thank you for sharing this message of inspiration and healing Beth..💯🙌🙏☀️😊
Hi Beth how long were you in the relationship for. I've only separated last week after 17 years together I no it will take time but I'm depressed and anxiety disorder is through the roof I really hope I recover at this moment I can't see a happy future for me she was also 19 years older than me I was 17 at the time now 36 :((
Good for you Beth! if you read my story I was doing better before he called regarding my clothing and it’s like I got to start all over again but they do stay in your mind and it makes sense why but one day I will be 100% on my freedom path and I believe it’s coming very soon… A few days ago when I spoke with him he had the nerve to ask was anybody in my bed with me it was 5:30 AM when he woke me up and I said “no you just happen to be lucky that I haven’t met the right guy yet that’s all that’s about it just hasn’t come around yet” and I told him I’m seeking he knows that I’m going to a wedding in Beverly Hills that consist of over 400 guest it’s a family members wedding and I am so so better than the crap that he has brought to me…( and I know that this doesn’t move the narc)we had some excellent memories I mean top-of-the-line restaurant five star … he dresses well he makes good money… but anyway God bless him I can definitely move on it’s not that big of a deal I have my heavenly father and believe me I’m in the Bible so can’t no demon break up my spirit because I have been born again since 1988 and this is just an attack from the devil and the devil can go to hell back to his home where he belong and anybody that work for him can do the same… peace out-thanks for posting
That's great..l cannot wait to be in your place...💝
@@ibrarhussain5536 I was in a relationship for 5 years, and I finally left him almost 11 yrs ago. The love and missing him is gone, but you will always remember the memories. I loved him, but he used me and abused me. God bless you.
It’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. How can we love someone who treats us so badly? It’s baffling. It’s the most confusing experience I’ve had.
Thank you for sharing Ellen.. as we understand more… we become stronger 💯💯🙌☀️
It’s because we can’t wrap our heads around how someone can be so evil. We are empaths and they are demons. They don’t act human.
It's very very frustrating. Myhusband makes me so mad. When I call him out on something, a couple days later, he says the exact same thing I said to him, and accusing me of it. It's crazy!!!
I never understood why I did either. I still do. I just recently left VA and moved all the way to Florida so his "dirt doing" would be outta sight and outta mind, it wouldn't be done right up under my nose anyhow. I left everything I love and have ever known for the past 56 years and moved to a place I know nothing about. But it's OK, I'll persevere, and bounce back. I know I will
@@karenrowe8742 I hear Florida is great! Best wishes for this new stage of your journey. Keep us posted on all the cool things that happen for you.
It hits you all over again at certain stages aswell, I'm nearly two years out and I saw mine the other day and it ripped open the scar that's how it felt, I've cried on and off again since, what they do to us is so inhumane, 4 years of my life and I still miss him but I know I'm missing an illusion, he seems absolutely fine and has done since the discard and even though I know why it still doesnt take away the pain, I honestly feel like I'll never get over it, it does get better but it's one of those things that nobody should ever have to go through, the trauma it leaves us with is horrific, I'm still in so much pain but try and push on, it's very very hard, nobody around me gets it either not even my own family, my hair was falling out and I lost so much wait at the discard and even though I tried to reach out for help nobody understood so I wasnt validated, if it werent for these channels I honesy think i would of been done for. Thankyou so much for educating people and trying to help
Lula, you will miss the love Bombing and the things he did to pull you into… the promise and expectations were never going to happen.. that who a narcissist is. Practice NO CONTACT AND SELF LOVE …
That's the same thing happen to me, I give thanks for these channels it help me with my healing process and so the almighty God. 14years I was in that demonic man I am free now I final divorce him getting my life back and start loving my self. Pray and let God help you to heal He will.
I don't think the person will ever leave my heart,,,,no matter how much time passes,, the question will always come back to me,, she's broken and no way to fix...................
So fix ourselves.....
As best we can .
Yes I greed..Thanks for Channel
.
I’m going through this now, my hair is falling out too and I’m laying in bed all day, no energy or desire to socialize. Did anything help you grow your hair back? Hugs to you ❤
Thanks for another great message.
Just wanted to stop by to share something I heard on news. The oldest women alive, 115 years old, was asked what is the most important thing to do for a long healthy life. Thought she would say something like diet or exercise but she said
“Get rid of toxic people.”I was stunned, her answer was so blunt, so simple, so true! You can eat all the health food in the world but if you have a narcissist is in your life your
health will diminish.
Welcome 🙏🙌😉🙌
I don’t really miss my narc, but I do miss the idea of us. The loss of the idea is what I miss most. He ruined the rest a long time ago. So glad I finally found the strength to let it go. So very toxic to me. Do not miss the constant eggshells, and always wondering who I was going to get on any given day, or even at any given moment.
Thank you for sharing Mary… I understand this completely 💯🙌☀️
We miss the "idea" is so right. I miss the fun I had with someone who never enjoyed me. Someday we will love again, and this time it will be for REAL! GOD BLESS!!
You are so right..future faking
Me too.
other channels about narcissism are just addressing it on a surface level, this channel is the best out there.
😌😌🙏
Yes it certainly is ,namaste
You're right it is extremely difficult to process the end of the relationship and realize they didn't love you the way you loved them. I think my heart was literally broken. Is also very difficult to recover physically from the long-term effects of being on high alert and walking on eggshells for so long!!
🙏🙌💯
❤yes
Very difficult to forget it's only been about 2 months so I'm just trying not to become depressed
It's been almost a year now and I still feel my heart is physically broken.@@Melissa-fk4tm
Accurate as usual.
I have realized I miss a ghost.
Something that was never really there.
Hard part is being kind to myself for how foolish I really was.
Thank you 💯💯🙌
Do same.. I remind myself.. these babies are just puffs of smoke, there is NO person in there.
Please don't blame yourself. Like they say, "love is blind". I'm just very glad you got out of that relationship. NEVER blame yourself, NEVER EVER!! Time to move on and find someone who will love you and appreciate you. Now you can go into a relationship with experience under your belt and be able to spot the danger signs. Life is a journey, enjoy every minute and you deserve happiness!!! May God bless you in your journey!!
Thank you for this message. I’ll take it for myself too. Blessings!
A girlfriend of mine once said, "there is no future in the past!"
Wow 😯 😯😯
33 yrs with narc, 3 kids ?!? For 3 yrs I am on my way out by learning and acceptance 💪💪💪Now, 3 months after I was brutaly discarted, replaced by "new" old supply, I can say: I survived!!! Thnx to God, Angels, friends, sisters...I am moving on 💪💪💪
Beautiful empowering message.. thank you for sharing 💯🙌☀️🙏
That's amazing congratulations!
@@christine11347 thnx to God, Angels, Mother Nature, inside work, outside work, UA-cam, lots of survivors and thrivors who shared their story...I couldn't do it by myself 🙏 Together, we are stronger 💪💪💪 One by one, we are making trough 👼👼👼
@@sandratibe3868 I literally was saying the same exact thing today which is why you probably have seen such improvement sooner than later like me. Even my kids are doing so much better. So very blessed after 30 years of hell! Angels surround us always. Continue to heal and be happy. I am so proud to say I am a survivor also. With hard work, dedication and a great support system the skies the limit. Have a great night💪😇✨🕊️🙏
Wow gives me hope 17 years with my partner who was 19 years older I was only 18 wene I got with her through out the 17 years I tried to leave but always ended up back thinking must be love that's why hurts so much 3 years ago had a mental brake down anxiety disorder and depression moved out got better and went back recently had another brakedown and moved home to my family and told partner it's over need to take care of my mental health. I pray I can heal I no it will take time but it's all I no as it was my first and only love. I hope I can't find peace in my life now and let go and heal.
I am in the midst of starting this journey of distancing myself after 46 years!
Your beautiful words are profound an so needed!
I thank you!
Love, light, & blessings I send to you!!
Thank you Andrew!
Best message yet. This will help many people. Most normal people can not switch love on and off in the blink of an eye. It takes time to get over the good and the bad of knowing the Narc.
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I’m missing the dream I wanted of keeping my family whole! It lasted as long as it did because of his Jekyll and Hyde game, the breadcrumbing, the future faking, the gaslighting and because he spent more time at the office than he did at home. You’re kept so off-balance that it can take years to figure out the pathology of who you’re dealing with. I was totally unarmed and in a relationship with someone completely armed for battle. I didn’t even know I was going to war.
I understand completely.. 💯💯😉😉🙌🙌
4 months on my own. Although the fog of confusion has mostly lifted, I do have good and sad days. The good days are usually good because I’m just numb that day. Having a hard day today, good timing for this video. 💜
Thank you for sharing Teshla.. 💯🙌🙏☀️
I've definitely been where you are, but it will get better, it really will❣
Im on the seventh month. You ll be feeling better each day, but the scars remain. Be blessed.
@@joann5465 💜
@@frankdavf4599 💜
going for my third month of no contact, today i saw her on the street and i walked faster so she wouldn't see me.. i still miss her sometimes but she wasn't real. such a weird feeling.. stay strong everyone.
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So right. At 52 he discarded me for someone else after 25 years of marriage. Their relationship lasted 6 weeks and there have been at least 3 more relationships since then. I thought I was missing him but I was missing what I so wanted him to be. Still healing. These videos are so helpful!
Welcome 🙏🙌💪
A relationship is like the wind: if it's not moving forward it dies
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Found out my empathy kept me attached. The narcissist looks at us as an object. Thank you you are so right. ❤️
One of the most painful parts of acceptance is when you can't stop evaluating and then reevaluating the narcissist's true intentions vs. your own. It's such a confusing process to decipher in hindsight what was happening and causes horrific pain. From my own experience what was most helpful was to strip away any urge to evaluate on a scale of good and evil. It's just not going to help to stay focused on how the person you fell in love with could possibly be morally bankrupt. Instead I have to reduce it to almost a math equation. My ex was with me to get what she needed. She was going to stay for as long as I was her source. When I became someone who was doing more resisting than feeding she started to search for her next source. To safely keep getting what she was getting from me, though not enough for her, she kept me fighting for her while seeking out her next relationship. When that relationship was ready to sail she abandoned me and went on with her new supply of fresh love. It was not about us, it was about her needs. If I remove myself from the picture and see that she's basically walking around the world with a pretty simple rule of "find what you need, get what you need, leave when you find the new shiny item" it's easier for me to let go of the agony of wondering how someone who loved me and even loved themselves abandon a good and promising future. Let them go.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌
I question whether she loved herself. They say..if you can't love yourself you can't love anyone else. It's good you found you could love someone and so you will find someone who deserves it
I love this. Wonderful way of looking at it, rather than feeling crushed and hurt by an empty, toxic, souless individual.
It's the worst it's like falling in love with a ghost a mean one.F THAT GHOST
This happened almost 2 decades ago when I was in a relationship with a narc. It took me 2 years to get over him. My feelings began to change when I gradually developed a stronger self esteem and self worth. When I realised that I did not deserve to be treated the way I had been that all feelings I had for him disappeared completely. I have never dated one since and am certain I never ever will again. To me those people are pure sh*t and I run a mile from them.
Thank you for sharing this 777 300…💯🙌☀️💪🙏
I'm away from my narc almost 11 years, and I don't know where he is or who he's with, as long as he stays away from me. He FUTURE FAKED me and did sooo many other mean things that I had to leave him. I changed my phone #, got off of Social Media, and moved. We will never forget them, but our lives go on. Who knows? Somebody might come along that will love you. REALLY love you. Narcs don't love anyone! God bless you.
How come your still watching these videos and talking about him in a comment section after that long are we dimmed to always remember and always watch this kind of content and reflect
@@jannlewandowski5540no way I’m sick 11 years past and you still think of him omg this sucks
@@jannlewandowski5540do you ever still think they were your great love
We missed an imaginary person. Someone completely inauthentic. Heal yourselves. Life has so much more to offer than some meaningless liar. Peace and love!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful insight Edward 💯💯🙌🙏💪☀️
Difficult to process that another human could be so cruel I’ll never understand that love and kindness are so easy to share but apparently these people enjoy creating havoc and pain. Three years of therapy, reading books and listening to channels like yours?! I’m happy with my fur pup. Your right I never wanted to give up he was so damaged so sad we have choices all of us have experienced abuse we have choices to be a good person or not I’ll never understand why these people enjoy their power and control I have enough problems taken care and checking myself I’m not perfect! They need to bring people down to make themselves feel better I guess?!
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙏🙌
I spent a long time trying to figure out the Narc in my life then I realized that focusing on him and going over the pain he caused me was only prolonging the abuse. I decided to stop reading about his problems and to start living my life. If I fall back into ruminating about the pain I say out loud, 'I choose joy' and bring to mind things that I enjoy instead. Focus and be gentle to yourself. Always choose joy. God bless.
Thank you, Andrew! You have reminded me that I fell in love with the person he mirrored, which was me! He was nothing like me, as I figured out. I believe I miss all the love bombing, and the companionship. It has been a long journey, and I am still healing, but everyday I know, I am worthy of true love for who I am! Namaste✌
Welcome 🙏☀️🙌☀️
Ditto… I’m recovering and I was told that my narc fell in love with who I was not with me, and almost changed my inter self. He actually mirrored me and consumed my energy and later blamed me for all our issues. I will admit I like all those things he did(love Bombing) but realize now after finding Andrew, it was all at a cost. The no contact had and is working for me, and lastly I’m have more good days than the bad..
How are you now
Absolutely the words that comes to my mind.
Love can become addictive and like any addiction the craving can last a long long time. I'm going on two years. Much much better but I still have 3:00 am wake up calls with the long gone narc on my mind.
I don't drink anymore (20 yrs.)
and I deplore drugs.A narc relationship is the worst kind of knock out punch because you are hit blindsighted and they walk away emotionless.I can respect a fare fight.
Thank you for sharing Craig 🙌💪🙌🙏☀️
We are on the way forward
The future faking has a lot to do with missing them. Things you never did that the narc never intended to do. It was just to keep you dangling there in the craziness. You will get over it! Love yourself now! I am glad I found out that such people exist. Evil. Not sorry it happened but would never want to go through it again! Thanks, Andrew! Great videos.
Welcome Midnight Moonflower.. 💯💯🙌☀️
Future faking. Things promised but never done. The embarrassment of telling friends we were going to Yosemite next spring, or wherever, and it never happened. Then, after the breakup - during the breakup actually - she is telling me she made plans to go to Yosemite. And other things we planned but never did. It was bizarre. The best was a 'fishing memories' photo display item that she gave me 12 years ago. For 12 years she asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I would say photos to frame or put in the display. Never. Not a one, ever. Then, when she sensed something was up this year she gave me two dozen photos for Christmas. Perfect timing because I served her divorce papers 2 days after Christmas. She must have known because just over a month prior I asked her to go to counseling again. And again she went into a tirade. I just dropped it and made my escape plan. Come to think of it, she never wanted to get in a photo with me when we traveled. She always made excuses.
Andrew, this was amazing video. I really needed to hear this. He walked out 3 years ago and we had no contact. My sister passed away recently from cancer and he knew from other family members that she only had few months to live. He filed for divorce and the papers came few days back. These narcs are so evil. They literally kick you at your lowest point in life.
You nailed it for me.
I kept believing that if I just do this or that she would finally get it and start making an effort to make things work.
I realized that it was never going to happen and that was when I started waking up and paying more attention to her actions and not her words.
😉💯💯
Big life lessons we must learn. It has to be all for a reason. We grow and learn and Empaths are strong 💪🏽🙏🏽✨️
Yes Pink Diamond 💪🙏🙌
Its about learning to love and respect yourself! Putting yourself first. Its not about sacrificing and hoping they will change and love you like you deserve. They can't change , they are damaged people and they damage other people! So.when you finally know what they are and you stay in the destruction another day , then you.are complicant in your own demise!
Change is uncomfortable unfortunately toxic is a learned behavior sometimes we get so sick we know what to expect . That's when you know you lived with the devil you become sick mentally and physically and are board with normal. It's a addiction . You need to detox just like a bad drug .
Time heals . Thank you Andrew great topic 👏
Completely correct thank you for sharing Lisa.. 🙌💯🙏☀️💪
Agreed
How are you now.
I am so happy for myself now.. After four years I realize I never gave up on this man but I gave him-up to God. I’m truly blessed to be done 🙏
Amen 🙏
Hello all: Andrew the first time I listened to this I cried during the whole video. Thanks to you and your healing keys I smiled through the whole video because I have gotten rid of to toxin!
Beautiful message of healing and strength 🙏😌💯😊
It was not love. I was coodependant. I do not miss my ex narcissist after 12 years of abuse. Currently 19months no contact. I had to record last to 2 conversations/aguments with him and bring these to my therapist as I knew none of my friends would believe me. Thank you Andrew for making this video!♥️
Welcome always Emily ☀️🙏🙌💯
Same here. 12 years, 2 kids..fighting divorce battle.. I feel like ending my life.. He exploited me financially& discarded..
@@mamatashiva6497 hello Tashiva! I am really sorry you are going through very difficult time. Look out for professional help. Don’t wait. I am no contact with my ex narcissist more than 2 years now. I have also 2 kids 10 and 15 y.a. Kids do not miss their dad although I have never restricted a contact between kids dad and kids. During this no contact period kids visited their dad 2 times in a year and they are not looking forward to spend time with him. He did not changed.
Thank you Emily Taylor. My son is 11 year & daughter is 9 year old. I really have to come out from this as soon as possible. Need prayers & strength.
@@mamatashiva6497 🙏♥️💚💛
You hit on SO many of why I miss my ex. My head and my heart are still at two different places. It's been over officially for over three months although it started falling apart well before then. I've made my list of all the terrible things he did, yet it still hits me hard at times of how I miss him. You're so right....I did everything to try and make it work and it didn't; I wanted it more than him and that hurts so badly. It's impossible for me to just stop loving him, but I'm learning more and more on my healing journey and how I need to let him go because he didn't give a flying flip about me.
I appreciate your honesty and sharing.. you are doing great.. continue to become educated and heal 💯🙌☀️🙏
Stay strong & do affirmations...I am... a woman of strength, smart, beautiful, kind, giving, special,
unique, honest,....put it on your mirror, fridge, car, phone. Read it. See it. Feel it. God does not make mistakes. You are here for a reason! It sure ain't him!
So painful! Every word is true. 37 years of abuse. It’s been 2 years since I walked away. It’s hard to accept it took so long to figure out what was wrong! I’m on the healing path thanks to you and so many others who like you who have helped me on this challenging journey!
Welcome 😌🙏💯
Awesome Andrew. You’re not afraid to tell it like it is. There is no sugar-coating this message. I’m finally feeling “notes” of liberation from my experience. I’m lucky because her family helped me out of this. They totally get it. I asked them why they didn’t say anything. The response is “you were so in love, would you have listened?”
Thank you Mark..🙏💯🙌
Thank you for sharing this. I wondered this exact thing and you have given me one possible reason. I think they are enablers but that is another possibility.
I'm out of a 32 year narcissistic relation and after 4 years I do miss him. But your words show me I miss what would have been. Thank you
Welcome Diane 💯🙌🙏☀️💯
May I respectfully suggest a lot of our pain is the idealisation of the relationship and not the relationship per se?
Because they future faked and mirrored during their love bombing, we were lead to believe the relationship was this "perfect thing" that it was actually not and it is THAT we miss, NOT them.
Love this video. It's 💯 When you are in the trauma bond it's brutal. Feel, grieve it's like a sudden death of a loved one. There is good days and bad but once it bursts the light is bright. I just smiled through this whole video knowing where I was and how far I have come. Education = Empowerment=Resilience=Strength =Indifferrence=Freedom=Self Love=New Beginning=Happiness and light at the end the dark tunnel. The thing I loved as I watched this video is I can say for my own personal self 💯 I miss absolutely nothing about the narscistist and I am so grateful he is gone. Everyone has to reach that point on their own in their own time and always feel there are never setbacks just different feelings and thats perfectly normal and ok. We have all been through an unimaginable abuse that most of us didn't even know was happening. Always be kind to yourself this is hard! Baby steps each day will produce huge results in time and things truly are so much better once the toxicity is removed. Great video Andrew 💯🙏
I appreciate your kindness Christine thank you for sharing this beautiful message 🙌💯😊🙏
This is exactly how I feel now. Took me a year to get to this point. Everything you say here is so true, and it does take time.
@@joann5465 Hi Joann I think we have very similar stories. Everything that you always say also resonates strongly with me. It's feels so good to make it to the other side. Everyone I love is benefitting from my new found sense of self and happiness especially me and I am so grateful for all the of the blessings in my life. I could never imagine such light could come from such darkness. I hope you and your family continue to thrive. The past is the past and the present is the path to continue healing. Have a very good night and holiday.💪🎄🙏🕊️
@mz. white I totally get everything your saying my heart goes out to you 💯. The trauma bond gets you in it's grips and it doesn't let go. Some of my darkest days were in that trauma bond. All I can say from my own experience is feel every single emotion happy, sad, angry, mad, glad. All of them it is like a roller coaster and I swear it's when they are their absolute cruelest. This is how I look at it you have to process every memory as the come in for what they were. Next feel them fully laugh, cry, scream, kick whatever you need to do to fully feel them. Then process and reflect on them. Figure out why they happened, what they mean and then purge them and release them and move on to the next one. It's not easy sometimes it's really gut wrenching and it makes you look deep within yourself to see things that are not always easy. Be kind to yourself don't be angry. No one ever asked to be abused especially by the person they love with all their heart. I had alot of guilt and shame. Try to to let is go. We cant change the past we can only live in the present to help us heal and guide our futures. Try to find at least one if two people you trust to help you. Don't do it alone. This community is amazing in offering their support and stories of hope. Just keep watching Andrews videos and keep educating yourself. Know you are never alone and go no contact if possible. When your trauma bond bursts trust me when I tell you things slowly start to get better and brighter each day. Another subscriber told me the other day to just laugh as much as possible and honestly I haven't stopped it brings such happiness to my day and the people I come into contact with. Another subscriber told me that exercise is a great release. I couldn't agree more I love to walk and just finished Zumba. Whatever you like to do I would do. Some people like to read. Whatever it is it empowers you. Self Love if the key to moving forward in the healing path. Don't get stuck in the past when your ready move forward but you deserve nothing less. Live life each day happy it's a gift we truly owe ourselves after everything we have been through. God bless💪🕊️💯☀️
Many blessings also for the🌲 holidays👼 and for the new year🎅
I pray we all have a better year ahead of us❣🙏
It’s been 10 years since my divorce, I was married 24 years, I’m still working on myself and there are still days that I miss my home and my life, things we did….but you are correct it was not real, I did all the loving and got nothing in return and neither did our daughter. A truly heartbreaking situation but I’m happy it’s over.
Thank you for sharing this Nancy..🙏🙌☀️💯
You WILL DO ALL THE LOVING CAUSE ABUSE IS CONTROL & THEY WILL USE ANYONE TO THEIR ADVANTAGE......USE& ABUSE IS ALL NARCS DO OR NO GOOD MEN IN RELATIONSHIP S
Yes missing them for years & years. Don't even want to say how many 😕. I'm finally at a place of understanding that's it's more missing what I thought & hoped it was, not realizing it was not that... Yes kinda tough video but VERY MUCH NEEDED. I have not seen another video about this as spot on as this one 🙏 Thank you Andrew 🕊️
Welcome 🙌🙏💯
I miss what I thought I had. My soulmate, my lover, my life partner. I fell in love with a succubus, a nightmare of a person. I want what I dreamed of, I don't want the evil I found. I won't give up but I'm far more educated to how to find that. It wasn't her and glad I ended it.
Thank you for sharing this Stephen 💯🙌🙏💪
True, I miss the daily routine, I missed the fun we had, I remember the patterns. I can remember the times he wakes up on work days and weekend days. This is why I'm so exhausted, sometimes I do things or go out to eat like we used to do. It's everything. But I'm relaxed to do things I want to do. I can't see doing this again.
Continue to move forward everyday and become educated.. you are doing great 🙌💯☀️🙏
Never Again 💝
Thank you for spelling this out. Educating myself about what happened has been my biggest resource and hopefully helping me heal. It’s only been three months. I miss everything, especially the daily routines, cooking or washing clothes, dishes…
It’s been hard to accept that I’ve been replaced. I saw it coming and tried so hard to hang on that I didn’t notice the pulling away.
In love with the idea of being in love ..a painful reality 🙏
😉🙌💯
I needed this video this morning Andrew as I some up ,not wanting to get up out of bed and feeling tearful. Your words helped me to remember that I'm not alone and that there's no shame finding it hard to stop missing someone.Thank you Andrew for giving me some comfort to face today.❤
Welcome 💯🙏😌
Great video… yes clinging on to that breadcrumb of hope. Looking at him thru an empathetic lense… feeling sorry. I knew deep down it wasn’t right. I knew he was a liar. I hate that I held on to that vision of love. I wrote down all the crap he did to me and that keeps me grounded. Whenever I miss him I read that list and it helps. 4 months and counting… haven’t looked back
Thank you for sharing this A B.. journaling is a great way to keep your thoughts recorded.. well done 💯🙌☀️🙏
Great motivation Andrew...we need to let go of the past...yess its hard to forget and move on, but we need to love ourselves again...The fake persona we thought loved us never existed...Sometimes the bad things that happened in our lives put us directly on the right path...Im finding myself again...Im learning to do new things now that I have time for Myself! We need to be proud of ourselves and not rely on praise from others...Never underestimate the power of prayer🙏💞Namaste!
Thank you Gail.. 💯🙌☀️🙏
Love and light to you 💞
They existed but it was a fantasy
I've had family members show and give me a hard time for putting me first. They let me know I'm being selfish and not everything is about me. I told them when they walk in my shoes will they understand what I'm talking about. Now I recently found out they have went against me and I the exes side of this all. I even raised exes child for 12+ years and he's been brainwashed against me😭
✔️❤️❤️❤️✔️
After leaving him I realize that I am grieving what
the outside world saw and what he projects to others to maintain his image. I grieve what he appeared to be in the beginning.
I was abused in every way, the more I asked for his love and affection the colder he got. After 7 years I am free and healing.
I’m learning so much from these videos.
Thank you.
Welcome 🙌🙌🙏💯
❤😢
I love your direct honest facing the reality and intensity of emotions and the power to embrace truth ! Good work and encouragement ! Thank you Andrew 🕯️
For me I was raised by a narcissist mother so I did know anything else, the way narcissists treat you was normal to me. I ended up in relationship after relationship, I have never experienced a healthy relationship. I will say I was used to more overt types but the last one was a covert and that one really messed with me, a lot of cognitive dissonance. That was really hard to get through, so if your with a really sweet victim type dude that also f**ks with your mind, I feel for you. They can gaslight like no other. There is a pattern with all types of narcissist, but if you asking yourself if this is right or something is wrong here, then it is toxic, wether a narcissist or not.
Don’t worry about a narcissist or if they are ok, worry about healing yourself and getting to a point that these types of people can’t get to you and there are more and more out there these days. Cause damaged people can and will damage people.
Remember, you are not a victim, you are a survivor!
Thank you for sharing this insight Lisa..☀️🙌💯🙏
"future faking" -- well said.
Yes 🙌💯
It has been a difficult road recovering from being with a narcissist for 7 years. On and off relationship. I agree with you about missing him because of the initial way he perceived to be. I truly thought and felt I had finally found my life long mate. Coming to terms with who I was actually in love with was never or was there. I appreciate you and others for doing these Pods. I am on the road to healing and getting closer to becoming who I use to be before the destruction of the narcissist. ❤️
🙏🙌💯☀️
I am missing many members of my narcissistic family today. Thank you for this. 💕🙏😏💕🙏
You are right. I am missing the people I thought they were, not the people they really are. Thank you. This helps a lot!
Welcome 🙌☀️🙏
Walking on eggshells was one of the worst ! Actually the fantasy was over long time ago , you just can't accept it . I got so use to the lies knowing it was wrong . I just this year realized what gaslighting means . I stand by No Contact !!!!
Beautiful progress 💯🙌☀️.. continue to become educated and empowered 🙌
Yes I will ! Thanks so much !
It dawned on me , I must retract the fantasy was over ,. The nightmare was over . I just didn't realize to run at that time . September 6th told me it was time . NO Contact !
Yes,yes,yes! The head and the heart ❤️ sometimes want opposite things. If you look at your relationship as an addiction and you have to detox from it you can heal. Brain chemistry has changed under the influence of the N. Go no contact and think of each day as a day ‘clean’. I have 40 days and I wouldn’t exchange it for anything. Stay strong. Don’t be afraid of your feelings
Beautiful progress Meha.. 🙌☀️🙏💯🙌
How are you now
...me..... three wk
@@franceshaggitt3104 so different. I am a changed woman. I went back, I admit almost a year after the initial discard, but there was a difference in me. I was untouchable and when I saw his demeanor change back into the soulless, spiteful man, I calmly walked away. Blocked, deleted and it’s been almost 8 months. I finally saw how I was using him to abuse myself and I didn’t want the abuse anymore. The best part; hold on to your chair, the woman he discarded me for and I are friends now! She and I compared our experiences with him and realized that he treated us EXACTLY the same. No different than the other.
Definitely missing the person who I thought I was in love with, even after walking away. I thank you for your video’s helping me understand the dynamics.I was in this relationship for 5 years, it’s only been 3 weeks now, it’s a bumpy ride, thank you for helping with your kind words and encouragement🙏
How are you now. I'm three wk out
One of the most painful things to have to do is to look at the love bombing and realize it was all a trick. That all the moments that led up to you tolerating the abuse later were deliberately designed to make you submissive. I take apart my memories. I take apart my heart. And I fill the gaps with new information. It’s like peeling off my own skin.
But after time you get free.
Great timing sir. I split from a covert narc just over 2 months ago. Did some unhealthy stalking and all the rest of it but today was a break through day for me where I really have internalized what you are saying here. A lot of your other videos have been helpful. Thank you kindly from Northern Ireland. Much love.
Welcome Chris.. continue to become educated ..🇮🇪 🇨🇷🙌
I had my therapy session this morning and actually said I was missing my ex narc and that I felt ridiculous! And then I came home to your video-thank you for sharing your insight,the timing is perfect. I'm 7 months NC after a 9 year relationship. Awful discard (by him) and smear campaign to his family. You really start questioning your own sanity when you are fully aware of the damage they cause yet you get pangs of missing them. I know it's only normal and you have to have time to grieve. We genuinely got on,we laughed,we had exactly the same interests. I miss my best friend, someone to go places with and share common ground. In middle age it feels very lonely. You would hope that you have stability and familiarity at this stage in life. To have hopes and dreams ripped away with no safety net is so damaging,I sometimes wonder if I will ever get over this. 7 months,no explanation, out of the blue. I genuinely think I'm still in shock but I'm keen to not waste any more energy on this man but it's easier said than done. Don't worry,my list of lies and deceit far outweighs the positives. I'm just being brutally honest. This is all a process and we are (thankfully) all different. I believe I have to experience this stage to move onto the next. Sending positive vibes to all of you still struggling like myself. Take care of yourselves x
I am grateful to be able to help share my experiences and insight with you.. continue to become educated 💯🙌🙏🙏💪
Same exact story happened to me after 7 years, discard for third time, and no contact for months, still so difficult!
@@lorrainefauver3320 It's so hard Lorraine. Stay strong. I watch this channel daily and you can reach out to all of us on here whenever you are struggling. Obviously the time of year won't help either. You can do this. Sending positive vibes ✌️
I know exactly how you feel
Been with my ex for 11 years and got devalued and discarded like trash
It really hurts knowing that you put your all into a relationship only to get lied to and cheated on
It's appalling behaviour. These people are a different breed and have no morals or conscience. Just play the victim and don't take accountability for any of their actions. This channel has helped me so much through the healing process. I hope you find peace soon but please reach out on here. It's been invaluable for me. Sending positive vibes ✌️
21 years of marriage for me. He is going to vacation with the new woman and I'm just angry that I wasted my time with a liar and abuser like him 😭😭 I needed this video so bad. Thank you 😊 💓
Welcome 💯🙌🙏
I honestly don't miss the narcissist, however, I'm happy to watch this to be aware of what to expect from the next one! The eggshells are so true. Never knew when he would go dark.
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙌😉
i discovered your channel when i went through most of the recovery but i still get thoughts sometimes i still grieve a bit. but watching your videos gets me through all of this thank you. keep up the good work💖
I am grateful to be able to share my experiences and insight with you always.. thank you Sara.. 💯🙌💯☀️🙌
I don't understand how can you miss someone who had done to you so much pain and humiliation. Beautiful video, Andrew, Namaste and thank You.🙏❤️🙏
Thank you vesna..breaking the trauma bond is the key..💯😉💯🙌💪
I am fighting within myself to move onwards and upwards and it hurts so much but I would never go back. I am doing every hour getting through the day and onto the next hour. Stay strong everyone 🙏
So true I was with a narcissis for forty years.I stayed with him until there was no more love to give. It was so very hard but I finally got totally out of that miserably relationship. I am now finding out that he was a Narcissis. Thanks for your info . Oh and. We were not even married, what a trap, all that time wasted thinking I was being loved!. Thanks .
Welcome Ella..🙏💯🙌
I missed what I had romanticized but I had to face the facts. I had been lied to and I need to continue to move forward.
I understand completely Kari D..💯🙌🙏
I find myself missing him (my estranged husband) because it's Christmas and it will be the first one we aren't a "family ".... when I have those weak moments I remind myself of all the times he spit in my face. And the one time our son saw. He doesn't deserve our beautiful family. Thank you Andrew...you're helping me get through this 💖
Welcome T M.. sending prayers and positive energy to you 🙌💯☀️🙏
I also am missing the holidays w what I thought was an intact family - 20 years
Now I realize I saw what I wanted to and settled for fake. So hard to forgive myself
One day at a time
I appreciate these videos- I feel validated
You deserve better- what an amazing person you are to heal from this!! Love and prayers for you!!
2nd time watching today! I was/am frightened I’m never going to feel “ normal” again- this video gave me hope! My closest friends bailed on me, early on in my breakup, because I wasn’t “ moving on” to accommodate their needs. Actually, I tossed them, I knew I needed a lot of time to decompress, and they did not understand.
Thank you, Andrew😘
Welcome 🙏🙌💯💪
The missing is the trauma bond and its part of yourself that was severed with the discard or being aware of your narc relationship. Narc does not feel something for you, it is you the abused one who got to repair itself, its you only you because as the victim of a farse you were the one who invested more. Forgive yourself and note that the narc person is sick in the head and you couldnt possible make the relationship work, you gave n did your best. Be joyful for that, be thankful for everything you have.
My hope is you are healing and improving Francisco.. sending prayers and positive energy to you ☀️🙏🙌💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone thanks Andrew, much obligged!
Your timing with this video is, impeccable. I finally realised that he was a lie, and so was the relationship. I can now move forward.🙏
Beautiful to hear Joanne 💯🙌☀️🙏
🙏☘🙏🙏🤲
Thank you for doing these videos Andrew! I am 3 weeks post narc relationship (that I ended!) and have gone through a full range of emotions. I need to watch your videos everyday to remind me of who I was dealing with and not to second guess myself about what I did by ending the relationship. I went no contact and removed him from social media from the very beginning, even before finding your channel. You have helped me so much to understand what I went through. Much love!
Welcome 🙏🙌
It never happened that we have had a passionate talking in 6 years. Not even having 1 moring to have breakfast together. He ate as soon as I fried his eggs while I am frying mine, he is already done before I sat down to eat my breakfast and his on his way to go. All you mentioned are correct. I missed the man that I thought he loves me as I loved him, but I knew it from the begining of onesided relationshit. Thanks and God Bless
An interesting topic!
For me time has shown that I didn't miss the person....I didn't even love or like her anymore at the end of the relationship. Abuse ends love quickly...it ends respect.
Education prooved that I was an addict to the cycle...I missed the push pull. I missed the hits of dopamine and I also missed the hits of adrenaline and cortisol. This is a trauma bond and I was an addict.
Once understood you can quickly see the reality of this relationship and what you must do to heal and stop the horrific rumination and desire to reach out.
Like any addiction to a poisonous substance you must consciously decide to give up...the answer is NO CONTACT....real no contact.
Then and only then can you begin to put the new improved you together.
Beautiful insight DC.. thank you for sharing.. I appreciate your kindness and honesty 🙌💯☀️🙏
David Crowley, you are so right!!!!
Thanks for this message today. It is very healing to hear you speak.
Welcome 🙏 💯🙌☀️
It’s mind blowing when you realize they’re actually frighteningly great actors. The whole time they were actually playing a role by mirroring you. You actually fall in love with yourself / the ideal partner you designed for yourself in your head.
💯💯😉
This! 📌
Dude, you are on fire. You summed up my whole relationship over the past 4 and a 1/2.Yrs make god bless you and everything you do I just wanna say i'm thank you 😊 just Listening to you made my day.Heck made my year. You are Truly a blessing to me. I can relate everything you say everything...😊😊😊😊😊😊😊nay God bless you always 🙏 💖
My God you understand what I’ve been through and where I’m at right now. This is the best video of all times. You’ve given me clarity. Finally, I can move on. Stay blessed 🙏🏾
Thank you Irene 💯😉🙌🙏
Practice no contact and you’ll get even stronger
It's not that we aren't worth being loved & are lovable and have wonderful qualities. It's that the narcissist we gave all our heart & soul to was incapable of sincerely loving anyone. That's what I had to come to terms with, instead of thinking I was unlovable. It takes awhile to come to terms with that.
Absolutely correct Diane..💯🙌💪🙌
So true you gave all your love, your soule your body. Your life your wealth. You gave, you are very ready for relation ship, you provided every single thing, cloths jwellery, bills, rent, shoping, holidays, it all about your wife. Keep her like a princess. You wanted best for her, you wanted more then what you want for your self, support, love care, made them feel safe secure and comfort
💯💯
After 15 years, I felt finally free.. i didn't think of him constantly... then boom .. ran smack into him and now those thoughts are falling on me like megaliths that won't budge. Your videos are helping, Andrew. Thanks for all the positive encouragement.
Welcome always 🙏🙌☀️
The best thing I ever did was keep a log of the bad times, and I saw a definite pattern. The second best thing I ever did was google “silent treatment, irritated, lack of empathy, bullying”, etc & up came Dr. Les Carter’s videos on covert narcissism . Third best was I left that man. I finally accepted that I was in love with somebody that was completely fake. Once you see it you can’t UN -see it!! Thanks for your videos and for sharing your wisdom. I wish you’d tell us more about you, like why are you there in Costa Rica and what do you do for a living etc. Just curious!
Thank you for sharing this Pamela.. I appreciate your kindness.. 💯🙌☀️🙏
Same for myself. Kept a log of the times, at the very end not really understanding why I was writing down his response as "silence". And starting writing stuff down as thought he had early on set dementia (ye ol' trauma bond)......Oh how far my walk has come about.
I wonder about Costa Rico also - is that where your relationship ended? Or did you go there to heal? How did you learn so much to teach us ?
Thank you so much for your work and efforts to help us. You are appreciated
I was with the narc 12 years, he was injured so I couldn't do enough to help him. I left him at least 10 times now he is so cruel. Thank-you Andrew I will keep your words to inspire me.
Welcome 💯🙌🙏💪
Thank you 🙏🏽 you’ve answered my question. Yes after 20 years of him I’ve got more healing to do. ❤
Welcome 🙌💯🙏
After the divorce I struggled and missed my ex (narc) so very much, which didn't make any sense at the time. She moved on very quickly, which hurt. Taken years to recover and your words "the narc has moved on" so true. I didn't want to ruminate, but she remained insidiously in my mind unbidden. Agreed: focusing on present life the way forward.
A quote I recently discovered "Trying to be with a Narcissist is like holding the hand of a drowning person who knows he's already dead, but won't let go of your hand until you die too."
My discard was maybe a month and two weeks ago. It was brutal. He wanted it that way. He wanted to be horrendously cruel; like there was pride to be had in it. I don't think I have to miss him because I realize now, more than ever that I wasn't around a healthy or reasonable human being. But something especially dark and corrupting. They groom you for this trauma bond, they purposely play games to screw with your head. They take advantage of your heart, your dreams, your good will, all your effort.
I can't miss this person... its not fair to me. For whatever "good" was had it's stained by this disgusting betrayal. What I grieve now is the day to day chore of having to put myself back together again. It's so many little pieces that ask for answers or hope or a plan or a distraction. My life has been radically changed (aside from the Narc's influence) over the past twenty months. How does one obtain mercy when life grows relentless in beating you down?
Do not miss your Narcissist ... miss the life you want so fully, right now, that indifference towards them becomes king. I want more oceans of opportunity and hope than to feel the misguided and twisted words of dead souls that wish I were as dead as they were.
Thank you for sharing this AM MJ.. sending you positive energy and prayers 💯🙌☀️🙏💪
I read your comment and it touched me. I just wanted to thank you for your words and how eloquently you placed them without being negative or hateful or cruel even though you weren’t treated the same.
One day at a time MJ. You got this.
I am
5 months out of a 24 year marriage with a narc with kids. We have to learn to be gentle with ourselves again. We are so used to being under stress that were harsh when we feel our feels. I’m learning also every day. Give yourself some grace, we miss what we thought we had. It was very real To those of us who are being genuine. However the more you get the lightbulbs the more you see they were playing a part in a fake movie.
What helped me alot when I thought that I missed him is the fact that I remembered all the lies and verbal sewage that came out of his mouth directed towards me. He disrespected me terribly and called me names that no other man called me. I just remember the fact that he is a horrible, despicable human being. I didnt deserve what he did to me. Never miss him again.
Thank you for sharing Lisa 💯💯
Hi.. I’m new in ur video about narcissists.. I’m a Filipina (Christian) and been with a narc hubby ( Italian- polish guy) for 13 yrs of sacrifices and sufferings.. I’m on d educating mode about narc with ur video that helps me relate about narc traits.. it really helps me a lot.. thanks so much with ur sharing experiences.. very true..
3 years & he came back again to destroy me. But I’m more resilient & am able to see more clearly. He did a number on me !! I pray he will get what he gave & know what it feels to be hurt.
Thank you Andrew. Everything you mentioned is so true. All of the above mentioned are my reasons. I did not want to give up on the relationship. He was an illusion and that’s what I have a hard time with. I’m 15 months into trying to heal. I was married to a narcissist for 27 years. It’s disappointing.
I understand Grace.. my hope is you are healing and improving 💯😉🙏💪
Namaste Grace You are healing 💞
22 years with mine but known him 32. Initially had an affair and was love bombed at first and left my partner to live alone. Perfect victim for his coming and going while still married and to become trauma bonded and ripe for abuse. Left him and then went back after 4 year gap after and did the 22 years. Didn't learn as never forgot him due to traumatic discards. That's what trauma bonding can do. Leaving this time. Been in separation but waiting for 18 months for house to sell but using time to educate and to heal. It is a slow process. I wish everyone on this journey much love and ask Spirit to heal your wounds . Try Dr Sue Morter's book The Energy Codes to hasten healing process. It worked for me xxNamaste 13:34
Time heals all wounds! Only missing my fur babies. Shape-shifter, good one!
😉💯🙌☀️.. thank you 🙏
It took my a few years of grieving over having loved the person who I thought he was...the good that he displayed toward me. However, I now know, 16 years later, that he never had any love for me. The good times we had in the lovebomb stage, had me fooled in thinking he loved me. If he were to come knocking at my door today, I would slam it in his face. I don't want or need him in my life. I stopped missing him a long time ago, but I didn't think I would get to this point of not missing him. But thank God that I don't have those feelings anymore.
I gotta say, I've grown since then. I have completely turned myife around.
I so needed too hear this message.. It's been a month since we've separated.. I had a heart attack 100% blockage in the Widowmaker just last week.. He came too let me know he was leaving for good.. He said harsh words too me like I hope your heart explodes.. I hate myself cause I'm still in love with him...
My hope is you are healing and improving Shelia..💯☀️🙌🙏
Shelia you are the most important....I pray you have a full and speedy recovery!♥️🙏
Prayers!!! I know it's difficult stay strong!!!!
Believe on the beauty that you are. I can relate...
How is it possible to be so cruel,it’s happened to me too, he told me that he wanted that i died, also he said that he could be so cruel to me, that I couldn’t imagine. The worst part is I still in love with him, and I don’t know how to eraser hin of my mind.
So painful 😣
If I’m missing the person who was cruel and abusive towards me just because he could would only mean I truly have something wrong with me, so I don’t 🤗
💯💯💪💪.. yes 🙌
12 years since I’ve removed narcissistic friends from adolescence and my high school days and I still get nostalgic and am tempted to reconnect when they reach out. Thanks for the reminder to remain true to myself and keep moving forward without distraction.
When I begin to miss "him", I remind myself that what I really miss is the "idea of him". The two are not the same. I then switch my focus to something else now. It's a process for sure! Thanks for the great video!