Honestly, everyone says that recovery is REALLY good and it is worth it, but right now I'm just in FEAR and DESPAIR. The first days were amazing! Me talking with my parents more, eating more, challeging myself to eat after "my hour to stop", trying to exercise less. I was so happy and confident - feeling more pretty and energetic. It is my second week right now. I upload all your books in my Kindle, just read "Fear of Gain Weight", and now I am reading Rehabilitate, Rewire, Recover. In the first week, I was very close to my parents - because I was exercising with my mom, ignoring me thinking about food (mental hunger) while I was with my father and passing a good time with him. Now, in the secong week, I just completely stopped doing ANY exercise - actually, I just laying down ALL TIME, eating A LOT MORE CALORIES (I think i ate around 10,000 just today and it still the middle of the day), trying to not care and ignoring my thoughts about my dad shopping "unhealthy food" - actually, i am eating it. As you see, in just 2 weeks I went "ALL IN" with LITTLE restrictions, i'm trying to do neural rewiring, but NOW I'M SO SAD, I'M CRYING ALL THE TIME, FEELING SHAME, TRYING TO SLEEP BECAUSE I'M THINKING ABOUT FOOD ALL THE TIME. And when I say ALL THE TIME it is ALL THE TIME - 10 sec to 10 sec - and I keep eating like I DO NOT KNOW, but right now i'm trying to distract myself sleeping, writing this, watching your videos, reading your books AND I KNOW I AM RESTRICTING AND THIS IS WILL JUST CONTINUE, BUT I JUST CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. I'M SUFFERING! I'M NOT LIVING! I'M JUST ISOLATING MYSELF , FEELING LIMITED THINKING ABOUT FOOD ALL THE TIME (just like before when I was just exercising 4 hours a day and eating just ONE SPOON in each meal, doing extense jejum, etc). WHAT SHOULD I DO? I am thinking about going to a nutricionist and a psychologist, but I am afraid of them LIMITATING MYSELF and worsen my fear of gaining weight - what I am trying to fight! I just can't live like this - I am literally all the time thinking about food and asking myself everytime "it is fear of gaining weight?". Argh!
Hi Susana, I know you wrote this a while back but I genuinely hope you're in a better place now. I just had my 7 month recovery anniversary and completely get where you're coming from. I had a very similar situation to you. The second week is where the brain starts overthinking and asking questions: "Are we really doing this? When will this stop? Maybe this is a bad idea?" As you brilliantly noticed, this is your fear of weight gain. The crucial step here is to tell your brain that you are fully committing to this no matter what. I KNOW it is scary, but the fear only indicates that you really need to eat more. So so so much more. And I know this can seem like such a defeat, realizing you have a long way to go. However, try and redirect that thought. If you have a long way to go, it means things can get even better with full recovery. It gets worse before it gets better, but if you fully go against the fear I promise it will go away in about a month. You have to focus and be determined, but people with eating disorders are the most stubborn and dedicated people I've ever met. You have got this! Tabbie has several videos on this - one is "Controlling your freak-out." This one really helped me 🙂 Genuinely hope you're in a better place, and of not, you know how to get there 😉 Rooting for you ❤
Tabs, could you maybe do a video or blog post about eating after certain times? (Like this popular eating after 7 pm makes u gain weight myth that says you don't burn as much calories when u sleep). Unfortunately my sister triggered me with this today and even if my logical brain knows it's BS, cause our bodies don't just put on fat because of times we eat, i still feel extremely guilty about eating dinner. Thank you for everything you do and have a nice day!
I have been having panic attacks recently which I have not had in YEARS like over 10 years and the only time I am having them is surrounding food. Example 1) I went to Costco and looked at cakes because it was almost my sons birthday, I had a full-on panic attack, I teared up and my breathing changed and my hear picked up and I had to get away from them, I had thoughts about the amount of frosting and sugar and how bad this was for everyone and I could not buy this, I could not have this around me and my kids and it was so disgusting and just looking at it made me sick. Example 2) I made homemade waffles which I make using a waffle mold in the oven, I make them sugar-free using low carb flours and monk fruit. I make these for me and my family as well as I sell them to local "keto" folks. I made a batch the other day and one for no apparent reason stuck, first time this has ever happened but they were so stuck to the mold I could not get them out without destroying them, I hate wasting food, I never buy 1 of something I buy 3, I have to always have a lot of food on hand and it cannot go bad, it cannot be wasted or I am beside myself. I cried I remember out loud saying to my husband that "I cannot breathe" I thought of every negative that led to this, how could I allow this? I messed up, I wasted money and food and it was unacceptable! my heart rate increased, blood pressure dropped I felt dizzy and lightheaded and it took a while to shake, I felt drained for hours after this. I feel like the increase in attacks is directly linked to me giving in to my hunger and eating more recently. It is like my ED brain is fighting me and I am being strong and trying so hard not to restrict or purge and it is like a war is raging. Anyways, enough of my crazy but this is just what has been happening and I related it to how this person gave into the binge and purge when they started allowing their mental hunger to guide them. It is a struggle no matter how your brain and body react and I can relate to her fears and feelings about the increased eating.
I’m currently weight-restored but I have days where I’m out of control. I haven’t had my period in a year and I ate an entire loaf of bread in one sitting. I just hate this. 😭😭😭
Great video! I have a question about mental hunger... I really do want to gain weight, I'm not scared of it anymore because I know that I need to, I eat more than my minimums everyday and I am gain at a steady pace. However, I get so full that literally nothing else can fit in my belly but I'm still mentally hungry. Am I supposed listen to this and eat until I'm sick because that is how I feel sometimes? Or do I not listen to this and not eat because I'm supper full? Any suggestions anyone?
If you are hungry you should eat. Unfortunately in recovery often the physical and mental hunger will be out of sync so your stomach will feel full but your brain will be telling you to eat more. That's normal in recovery and it will subside over time as long as you continue to eat as much as you want and do not restrict. I've found that for stomach aches in recovery, laying down with a heat pad on my belly helps a lot. Peppermint or chamomile tea is good for nausea.
These messages are important because our dietician says that binges are binges and says the theory of extreme hunger isn't right. I get so confused. She said we do have a target weight and target bmi and this worries me. Any advice for how to deal with this?
Hi! I want to share something with you. 2 years ago I lost my period because of a wrong diet and overtraining. Now I've stopped exercising and I'm trying to listen to my body. But I've a problem.. Lately I've always been craving chocolate müsli. Once I begin eating it, I can't stop. I never feel satisfied. I don't know if it's because I've been restricting for a long time or because of chocolate which causes addiction. Have any of you ever been through this? I've never suffered from binge eating. Is that a form of binge? I don't know what to think. It happens only with müsli!
Thank you so much. I can't even explain how important those videos are for me at this time.
I also get attached to foods. First it was pb and j with a lot of pb. Now it is greek yogurt with nuts and berries . I hope this doesnt last forever
how are you doing now?
Honestly, everyone says that recovery is REALLY good and it is worth it, but right now I'm just in FEAR and DESPAIR.
The first days were amazing! Me talking with my parents more, eating more, challeging myself to eat after "my hour to stop", trying to exercise less. I was so happy and confident - feeling more pretty and energetic.
It is my second week right now. I upload all your books in my Kindle, just read "Fear of Gain Weight", and now I am reading Rehabilitate, Rewire, Recover. In the first week, I was very close to my parents - because I was exercising with my mom, ignoring me thinking about food (mental hunger) while I was with my father and passing a good time with him.
Now, in the secong week, I just completely stopped doing ANY exercise - actually, I just laying down ALL TIME, eating A LOT MORE CALORIES (I think i ate around 10,000 just today and it still the middle of the day), trying to not care and ignoring my thoughts about my dad shopping "unhealthy food" - actually, i am eating it.
As you see, in just 2 weeks I went "ALL IN" with LITTLE restrictions, i'm trying to do neural rewiring, but NOW I'M SO SAD, I'M CRYING ALL THE TIME, FEELING SHAME, TRYING TO SLEEP BECAUSE I'M THINKING ABOUT FOOD ALL THE TIME. And when I say ALL THE TIME it is ALL THE TIME - 10 sec to 10 sec - and I keep eating like I DO NOT KNOW, but right now i'm trying to distract myself sleeping, writing this, watching your videos, reading your books AND I KNOW I AM RESTRICTING AND THIS IS WILL JUST CONTINUE, BUT I JUST CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. I'M SUFFERING! I'M NOT LIVING! I'M JUST ISOLATING MYSELF , FEELING LIMITED THINKING ABOUT FOOD ALL THE TIME (just like before when I was just exercising 4 hours a day and eating just ONE SPOON in each meal, doing extense jejum, etc).
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
I am thinking about going to a nutricionist and a psychologist, but I am afraid of them LIMITATING MYSELF and worsen my fear of gaining weight - what I am trying to fight!
I just can't live like this - I am literally all the time thinking about food and asking myself everytime "it is fear of gaining weight?". Argh!
Hi Susana,
I know you wrote this a while back but I genuinely hope you're in a better place now.
I just had my 7 month recovery anniversary and completely get where you're coming from.
I had a very similar situation to you. The second week is where the brain starts overthinking and asking questions: "Are we really doing this? When will this stop? Maybe this is a bad idea?"
As you brilliantly noticed, this is your fear of weight gain. The crucial step here is to tell your brain that you are fully committing to this no matter what.
I KNOW it is scary, but the fear only indicates that you really need to eat more. So so so much more.
And I know this can seem like such a defeat, realizing you have a long way to go. However, try and redirect that thought. If you have a long way to go, it means things can get even better with full recovery.
It gets worse before it gets better, but if you fully go against the fear I promise it will go away in about a month. You have to focus and be determined, but people with eating disorders are the most stubborn and dedicated people I've ever met. You have got this!
Tabbie has several videos on this - one is "Controlling your freak-out." This one really helped me 🙂
Genuinely hope you're in a better place, and of not, you know how to get there 😉
Rooting for you ❤
@@Squirmie thank you so much. I'm really better now... i have a lot to understand yet, but it is going... thank you!!!
Tabs, could you maybe do a video or blog post about eating after certain times? (Like this popular eating after 7 pm makes u gain weight myth that says you don't burn as much calories when u sleep). Unfortunately my sister triggered me with this today and even if my logical brain knows it's BS, cause our bodies don't just put on fat because of times we eat, i still feel extremely guilty about eating dinner. Thank you for everything you do and have a nice day!
Thank you so much Tabs for making this vídeos most days ♥️♥️♥️you are awesome!!
I have been having panic attacks recently which I have not had in YEARS like over 10 years and the only time I am having them is surrounding food. Example 1) I went to Costco and looked at cakes because it was almost my sons birthday, I had a full-on panic attack, I teared up and my breathing changed and my hear picked up and I had to get away from them, I had thoughts about the amount of frosting and sugar and how bad this was for everyone and I could not buy this, I could not have this around me and my kids and it was so disgusting and just looking at it made me sick. Example 2) I made homemade waffles which I make using a waffle mold in the oven, I make them sugar-free using low carb flours and monk fruit. I make these for me and my family as well as I sell them to local "keto" folks. I made a batch the other day and one for no apparent reason stuck, first time this has ever happened but they were so stuck to the mold I could not get them out without destroying them, I hate wasting food, I never buy 1 of something I buy 3, I have to always have a lot of food on hand and it cannot go bad, it cannot be wasted or I am beside myself. I cried I remember out loud saying to my husband that "I cannot breathe" I thought of every negative that led to this, how could I allow this? I messed up, I wasted money and food and it was unacceptable! my heart rate increased, blood pressure dropped I felt dizzy and lightheaded and it took a while to shake, I felt drained for hours after this.
I feel like the increase in attacks is directly linked to me giving in to my hunger and eating more recently. It is like my ED brain is fighting me and I am being strong and trying so hard not to restrict or purge and it is like a war is raging. Anyways, enough of my crazy but this is just what has been happening and I related it to how this person gave into the binge and purge when they started allowing their mental hunger to guide them. It is a struggle no matter how your brain and body react and I can relate to her fears and feelings about the increased eating.
I laughed so hard at 4:08 😂 love your videos xx
Your knowledge is soo helpful on this, body trust is so difficult it's fear of the unknown (weight).
I’m currently weight-restored but I have days where I’m out of control. I haven’t had my period in a year and I ate an entire loaf of bread in one sitting. I just hate this. 😭😭😭
Hi I am in the same situation currently, may I ask if you have gotten your period back and if yes do you have to gain above weight restoration?
Great video! I have a question about mental hunger... I really do want to gain weight, I'm not scared of it anymore because I know that I need to, I eat more than my minimums everyday and I am gain at a steady pace. However, I get so full that literally nothing else can fit in my belly but I'm still mentally hungry. Am I supposed listen to this and eat until I'm sick because that is how I feel sometimes? Or do I not listen to this and not eat because I'm supper full? Any suggestions anyone?
Hannah Mills the answer is in the Video
If you are hungry you should eat. Unfortunately in recovery often the physical and mental hunger will be out of sync so your stomach will feel full but your brain will be telling you to eat more. That's normal in recovery and it will subside over time as long as you continue to eat as much as you want and do not restrict.
I've found that for stomach aches in recovery, laying down with a heat pad on my belly helps a lot. Peppermint or chamomile tea is good for nausea.
These messages are important because our dietician says that binges are binges and says the theory of extreme hunger isn't right. I get so confused. She said we do have a target weight and target bmi and this worries me. Any advice for how to deal with this?
I'm ever thinking in eat bread. Is it normal?
But What about Brain over binge approach then?? Not reacting on the impulses??
Hi! I want to share something with you. 2 years ago I lost my period because of a wrong diet and overtraining. Now I've stopped exercising and I'm trying to listen to my body. But I've a problem.. Lately I've always been craving chocolate müsli. Once I begin eating it, I can't stop. I never feel satisfied. I don't know if it's because I've been restricting for a long time or because of chocolate which causes addiction. Have any of you ever been through this? I've never suffered from binge eating. Is that a form of binge? I don't know what to think. It happens only with müsli!
Chocolate does not cause addiction. Restrictions cause "overeating". Eat your chocolate, dear.