I used to SUCK at following through on commitments. The best thing that I found was 1) deciding to treat every commitment like a promise and 2) keeping those promises small enough so I did them. Over time, as I built up more and more evidence at the level of identity ("I'm the kind of person who does what I say"), I got better at taking on bigger commitments.
I was nodding throughout the whole video, This is one of the areas in which my ADHD has affected me the most. Saying no has been one of the most difficult things I've had to learn to take better care of myself. I still overcommit sometimes, but it's been getting much better since I identified the source and started setting clear goals for myself.
Silver lining of this quarantine situation has been learning how much time it's honestly takes me to do something. An example, I want to make birthday cards and greeting cards for friends, thinking it will only take about 15 minutes per card. I've learned that in reality it takes about an hour to make each card. So now when I think about whether I want to buy a card for make a card, I know the time it is really going to take. This flows over into the other things I think about committing to. Realizing I am so time blind, how much time do I really have. It has helped me Define what I am truly passionate about.
I’m 28 and I find this one of the hardest things. I’ve been in a relationship since I was 14 but I don’t want marriage or kids and until recently I’ve avoided permanent work! I have no tattoos or piercings I feel like I can never trust anything even if I want it just in case I change my mind one day it’s too late! Always feel like one foot in, one foot out with everything just in case because you never know!
I think it all boils down to addiction to approval and people-pleasing tendency as a result of the chronic toxic shame of having let people down. Another element could be a degree of co-dependent behaviour, but not much that of RSD's. Knowing one's self and abilities help identify what could and could not be undertaken. The problem is that when one undertakes a commitment knowing s/he could totally do it, procrastination kicks in and things drag until a critical moment arrives and one starts running like a headless chicken, and eventually finish a month's worth of work in as little as 6 hours, with all the heavy price one has to pay from emotional stress, mental stress, physical stress and relationship stress. The question I would like to ask you, as by far you are my favourite ADHD advocate, is how do you tackle procrastination? I really need some of YOUR personal insights on the topic, for it seems you and I go through extremely similar experiences and we tend to see eye to eye on their root causes to a great extent. Awaiting your kind feedback on the same.
The hardest one is when commiting to a job. you know dependability, punctuality, and sticking to a job that bores you to tears AKA a dead end job is difficult. Been there will likely have to do it again in order to survive it takes extreme discipline mental discipline it's possible small one step at a time.
I’ve been silently watching your videos for a long time and just wanted to thank you for everything. You have given me so much validation in what I felt and you the way you word your experiences are so straight forward. Seriousness aside you are looking so much healthier and fitter ;)
I used to commit to lots of things on the spur of the moment, then struggle to find a way to get out of it without losing to much goodwill 😔. So eventually i learned the hard way to either say no, because I honestly didn't want to do it, or say I'd check my diary and get back to them (with a well considered and honest yes or no). You're so right in what you say about study. I've struggled with it forever and dropped out of papers because I just couldn't organise myself or focus. And I couldn't figure out how others managed to do it AND complete their degree! I was finally diagnosed with ADHD (Innatentive) last year and the medication and self awareness has been a game changer. I was able to work my way through assignments and actually focus! But I also discovered quite by accident that doing it in short bursts then doing something I really wanted to do for 15 minutes worked great. Now I know what this technique is called. Lots of your suggestions have helped - thankyou 🙏🏼 😁
I was told I don't have a hard time committing but I have a hard time accepting that I won't do something perfectly. 3: I will say though that sometimes doing something I can do for a week and feel pure joy and other times I do it for like a few days and feel meh :c.
I started binge watching your videos today and Ive become such a big fan of you. I appreciate all your work, which allowed me to understand and have more compassion for my father with ADHD. I am super proud of you for having chosen a different path to have a better life despite all the challenges. God bless you and thank you again for these very insightful and useful + beautifully creative videos. Please stay healthy and happy. Looking forward to seeing your next videos ♡
Mate are you Welsh ?😳.. Been struggling with possible non treated ADHD as I’m scared to talk to anyone that is not a expert in this.. I’m 29 & very successful, but could extremely successful if I worked on the days I feel well. Sometimes this goes on for weeks till taking action on things already started.. Please if you are from Wales or UK I can hear from your accent, any advice or help would be great 🙏🤞
Have you ever tried compounded melatonin to help with sleep? Would this work to combat the unwanted sleeplessness/racing mind side effects at night time when on or off ADHD meds? Also, if you have diet and vitamins regime that you’ve established complements particular meds in minimizing negative side effects, could you please do an updated vlog on these topics (preferably after you’ve given it a go for 3+ months to ensure a fair evaluation as natural methods seem to have slower incremental effects over time on the body). Would be interested in the outcome. My son has PI type. Your honest vids are inspiring (but the cynic in me worries they are financially sponsored by the meds or other bias companies, as such is the nature of humans 😞). Really hope you keep up the vlogs and that they are truly your own opinion/experiences. Much 🙏🏽💜 from Oz.
Not age related per se, but Dr. Amens healing the 7 types of add( I know it's not called that anymore it's called ADHD subset) it's a manual to helping you to improve your life on your own if you don't want to see a doctor about it just yet.
Did you ever receive or get offered CBT for ADHD on the NHS? Seems really hard to come by. After all the wait the NHS psychiatrist says it’s not really effective even though they said they provided it on their website. 🤷♂️But it seems to me it’s..put you on the meds and work it out for yourself, even though there are all still these issues that can’t be solved by medication alone. Your channel is really helpful trying to actually get some support other than just taking meds. Btw.. I just changed to elvanse from xaggatin (concerta.) Methylphenidate made me angry and almost paranoid! Elvanse makes me feel like a better version of me thankfully, but just titrating still.
I used to SUCK at following through on commitments. The best thing that I found was 1) deciding to treat every commitment like a promise and 2) keeping those promises small enough so I did them. Over time, as I built up more and more evidence at the level of identity ("I'm the kind of person who does what I say"), I got better at taking on bigger commitments.
I was nodding throughout the whole video, This is one of the areas in which my ADHD has affected me the most. Saying no has been one of the most difficult things I've had to learn to take better care of myself. I still overcommit sometimes, but it's been getting much better since I identified the source and started setting clear goals for myself.
Silver lining of this quarantine situation has been learning how much time it's honestly takes me to do something. An example, I want to make birthday cards and greeting cards for friends, thinking it will only take about 15 minutes per card. I've learned that in reality it takes about an hour to make each card. So now when I think about whether I want to buy a card for make a card, I know the time it is really going to take. This flows over into the other things I think about committing to. Realizing I am so time blind, how much time do I really have. It has helped me Define what I am truly passionate about.
I’m 28 and I find this one of the hardest things. I’ve been in a relationship since I was 14 but I don’t want marriage or kids and until recently I’ve avoided permanent work! I have no tattoos or piercings I feel like I can never trust anything even if I want it just in case I change my mind one day it’s too late! Always feel like one foot in, one foot out with everything just in case because you never know!
Wow! You’ve been in a committed relationship for 14 years. That’s a huge accomplishment!
That doesn't sound like ADHD to be honest.
I think it all boils down to addiction to approval and people-pleasing tendency as a result of the chronic toxic shame of having let people down. Another element could be a degree of co-dependent behaviour, but not much that of RSD's.
Knowing one's self and abilities help identify what could and could not be undertaken. The problem is that when one undertakes a commitment knowing s/he could totally do it, procrastination kicks in and things drag until a critical moment arrives and one starts running like a headless chicken, and eventually finish a month's worth of work in as little as 6 hours, with all the heavy price one has to pay from emotional stress, mental stress, physical stress and relationship stress.
The question I would like to ask you, as by far you are my favourite ADHD advocate, is how do you tackle procrastination?
I really need some of YOUR personal insights on the topic, for it seems you and I go through extremely similar experiences and we tend to see eye to eye on their root causes to a great extent.
Awaiting your kind feedback on the same.
I have a video all about that on the channel if you want detail
The hardest one is when commiting to a job. you know dependability, punctuality, and sticking to a job that bores you to tears AKA a dead end job is difficult. Been there will likely have to do it again in order to survive it takes extreme discipline mental discipline it's possible small one step at a time.
I’ve been silently watching your videos for a long time and just wanted to thank you for everything. You have given me so much validation in what I felt and you the way you word your experiences are so straight forward. Seriousness aside you are looking so much healthier and fitter ;)
I used to commit to lots of things on the spur of the moment, then struggle to find a way to get out of it without losing to much goodwill 😔. So eventually i learned the hard way to either say no, because I honestly didn't want to do it, or say I'd check my diary and get back to them (with a well considered and honest yes or no). You're so right in what you say about study. I've struggled with it forever and dropped out of papers because I just couldn't organise myself or focus. And I couldn't figure out how others managed to do it AND complete their degree! I was finally diagnosed with ADHD (Innatentive) last year and the medication and self awareness has been a game changer. I was able to work my way through assignments and actually focus! But I also discovered quite by accident that doing it in short bursts then doing something I really wanted to do for 15 minutes worked great. Now I know what this technique is called. Lots of your suggestions have helped - thankyou 🙏🏼 😁
Research is the best part, I can do hours of it and become a master in the topic im research. Only to then go and not do any of that practical work :(
Don’t even act like I didn’t notice that updated cover image. :)
Hahahahah, yesss
@PhantomStranger Yep. A few weeks ago he updated everything and then I made a suggestion for him to simplify his cover image... and he did. :)
So relatable.
Great advice also dont be afraid of using the NO word alot.
Thanks for being a voice for all of us❤️
I was told I don't have a hard time committing but I have a hard time accepting that I won't do something perfectly. 3:
I will say though that sometimes doing something I can do for a week and feel pure joy and other times I do it for like a few days and feel meh :c.
I started binge watching your videos today and Ive become such a big fan of you. I appreciate all your work, which allowed me to understand and have more compassion for my father with ADHD. I am super proud of you for having chosen a different path to have a better life despite all the challenges. God bless you and thank you again for these very insightful and useful + beautifully creative videos. Please stay healthy and happy. Looking forward to seeing your next videos ♡
That wallpaper idea is so good! I just set a list of all the stuff I have to do as my wallpaper so I’m constantly reminded of it
lol doctors appointments! My doctors just know I’m not going to show so I get a big lecture beforehand. I’ve got a bad track record.
I was watching this video, found myself in step 5 but all i remember was step one, then seconds later I forgot what it was
Thank you mate! I really like your channel
THANK YOU!!!
I'm always getting myself into jobs and favors by being to impulsive and regret it afterwards
Just stop
@@Stefanburakov OK thanks 👍🏻
Thank you, these videos are a real help to me, keep it up! :)
Mate are you Welsh ?😳.. Been struggling with possible non treated ADHD as I’m scared to talk to anyone that is not a expert in this.. I’m 29 & very successful, but could extremely successful if I worked on the days I feel well. Sometimes this goes on for weeks till taking action on things already started.. Please if you are from Wales or UK I can hear from your accent, any advice or help would be great 🙏🤞
Have you ever tried compounded melatonin to help with sleep? Would this work to combat the unwanted sleeplessness/racing mind side effects at night time when on or off ADHD meds? Also, if you have diet and vitamins regime that you’ve established complements particular meds in minimizing negative side effects, could you please do an updated vlog on these topics (preferably after you’ve given it a go for 3+ months to ensure a fair evaluation as natural methods seem to have slower incremental effects over time on the body). Would be interested in the outcome. My son has PI type. Your honest vids are inspiring (but the cynic in me worries they are financially sponsored by the meds or other bias companies, as such is the nature of humans 😞). Really hope you keep up the vlogs and that they are truly your own opinion/experiences. Much 🙏🏽💜 from Oz.
Hey man, what happened to your coaching program? Is it no longer available? Your website is non existent anymore from what I can see.
I relate a lot with you. Do you have any book recommendations for someone who just figured out they have ADHD in their 30s?
I dont have any book but just one small thing to say.. you are still a perfect human - just different than the normal boring people.. :)
Not age related per se, but Dr. Amens healing the 7 types of add( I know it's not called that anymore it's called ADHD subset) it's a manual to helping you to improve your life on your own if you don't want to see a doctor about it just yet.
Did you ever receive or get offered CBT for ADHD on the NHS? Seems really hard to come by. After all the wait the NHS psychiatrist says it’s not really effective even though they said they provided it on their website. 🤷♂️But it seems to me it’s..put you on the meds and work it out for yourself, even though there are all still these issues that can’t be solved by medication alone. Your channel is really helpful trying to actually get some support other than just taking meds. Btw.. I just changed to elvanse from xaggatin (concerta.) Methylphenidate made me angry and almost paranoid! Elvanse makes me feel like a better version of me thankfully, but just titrating still.
Sounds funny to comment this but you’re handsome! And yes I’m also avoiding studying 🤪
Wheres the ambient lighting and graphics?
Bro wheres the green celtics top,
In my wardrobe
@@ADHDMastery lol what i meant was it was inspirational to see how u have grown as a youtuber
Couldn’t even commit to this video😔💀
You are so attractive ❤️
Do you still do coaching
completely off topic but am I the only one that thinks he is incredibly attractive?
YUP! ;)