Mr. Kittleson, I'm genuinely insecure on how to ask this in any appropriate manner and without triggering anything. But..... I'm used to follow my intuition even to the difficult places, so here we go: Are yoh alright? Are you struggling at the moment? It's just a relatively short video and it could be anything or nothing. I just.... Idk.... are you self-caring enough? The best way I can describe my perception is that I'm trying to address something internally perceivable rather than externally visible. I'm just a stanger. I'm not here for answers. I asked a question and if that opens something for you, then please by all means understand this as an invitation to pick it up explore it in your safe (social) space of choice. Best wishes to you.
iv always assumed .. after research.. that i was narsissitic with both other traits, based on my emotional level. im at about a 2. i can be a zeo if i want or a 10. so manic or grandeous. um been diagnosed with depression.. not me. split personalities, sure but their just me myself and i in my head. im not easilly distracted. only if i allow it, i go off like you have no idea. i am the multitasker, i have no issues ive ficxed all that... moving on... nooe.. move on nope seriousl;y im waiting for her to move on its bornig
The worst part about my ADD is whenever someone is giving me a series of instructions to follow. I'll be focusing as hard as I can on what they're saying, but half the information just doesn't stick. It's as if the words just vanish a second after it leaves their mouths. Then I'm hit with a huge anxiety spike which makes the situation even worse.
Right?! No matter how intently I listen to someone, I will still manage to either forget or completely misremember what was said and I end up looking like a fool because I remember the stuff wrong lol
To me it's like the person speaking is talking another language I cannot understand. I did not realize it was such a problem until a supervisor I had yelled at me for having to give me the same instructions six times.
This is why I hate asking for directions or instructions if they can't be written down. Verbally communicating that information to me is completely pointless because it bounces straight back out of my earholes. :(
I have ADHD. My former employer knew of the disability because it was documented and HR had record of it. I was fired from this job because although I had job modifications, I was constantly getting reprimanded and written up. After several write ups, they made up,other reasons to terminate my employment. I sued them. I won.
Go you!! The world needs to learn that everyone has a different way of being, and we should allow people an environment that allows them to thrive the best they can...
As someone with ADHD, I have excellent organizational skills and rarely misplace my car keys because I put them in the same spot every time I get home. The only reason why I don't lose my car keys is because, in the past, I always lost my keys (as an example). I think that ADHD is hard to diagnose in some people because they have good coping skills that masks the negative behavioral traits.
Absolutely. We go through life MacGyvering our reactions and responses to certain problems and sometimes they become tidy habits that work in our favour. Also have friends who clearly have symptoms but also generally function very well and are only mildly inconvenienced.
I think the issue is that people treat it as a behavioral disorder (aka "abnormal" external behavior) when it's really a neurological difference (aka an internal way of functioning).
I don't forget appointments or lose track of time to get there because I have my calendar send me an email 2 days ahead, then 1 day, then 2 hrs and 1 hr. It has to be email since I won't notice the notification icon. THEN, I set my alarm. Depending on the distance it may be set to 1hr, or 45 min for a distance of half hour. Etc etc etc. Like you said, learned coping skills.
Yes!!! Spent most of my childhood and young adult life working out coping and strategies to manage these traits. I still take inordinate about of time to target a task and complete even when focusing. My brain feels disorganized so I keep using tactics like short breaks, chunking and giving myself a whole week to complete an assignment which most her do in a few days
I was thinking this, I'm going to speak to my doctor about a ADHD diagnosis, and I remember being so forgetful and losing so much necessities in the past, but the way I cope with it is just leaving them in pockets, and when I'm out I'm CONSTANTLY checking my pockets over and over again
After reading some of these comments , I feel blessed. Both my son and I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. After speaking with the doctor, we realized that my wife has been setting up systems for us to follow. She has setup Calendars, Alarms, task list, provides verbal reminders, organized common areas for our benefit, labeled everything in out house, and the list goes on. Basically all the things I read that will make life easier, but I know would never get completed or stuck with if it was left up to me. We are truly lucky to have her in our lives!
I'd say she's an angel sent just for you. Appreciate what you've been blessed with. But, don't forget She also has needs in her life, that maybe only you can fulfill. Just saying, I'm a victim & caretaker. 😂
I am that wife/mother and I worry that I've been enabling my family members to their detriment. Now I'm trying to coach them to take over some of their own life tasks. It's been exhausting and overwhelming for me to be on top of their life details as well as my own and has contributed to my own anxiety.
@emmennyce shared calendars help us a lot. She verbal reminds us to add our events to the calendar but also makes sure we do it. She did the calendar at first and then started having us do it. We still miss things when I don't add an event right away and the person only told me. For my son we contacted his teachers and requested a syllabus for the classes and my wife had him add all the events into the calendar with reminders. This also helps to complete sections of school work of a big project instead of waiting to do the whole project the night before. My wife does the labeling but she likes it because she gets to use her vinyl cutter. This helps us quickly tidy up and makes the task less overwhelming. This one has helped her too. Just know, even if we don't say it, you are very much appreciated.
I think something we don’t talk about enough with ADHD is intellectual exhaustion. For instance, a days work makes my brain exhausted, because it’s a constant struggle to focus, I have NOTHING LEFT at the end of the workday. It is exhausting to do the same amount of work as a Neuro typical person can do and still have energy left over at the end of the day.
yes! This goes with autism too and if you havent heard of it I'd look up spoon theory. I am struggling now to work out a job that doesnt use all of my energy so that I cant even take care of myself and do anything but work.
Omg this!!!! You wrote it down sooo good! Thank you! I'm going to show my parter this! I always wondered how and why he after a whole week of work, can find the energy for cooking and cleaning!? Like he has endless energy!!! Good for him but I can't!
We get easily BORED… that’s what my biggest issue can be in regard to having to stick to routines. And yet, structure is critical. I crave organization and structure, but have extreme difficulty creating it for myself.
Routines are A and O for ADHD but at the same time, they are a curse cuz they are so utterly boring! We are expert at making stupid reasons to delay stuff and routines is in the way XD
I used to think I never got bored, because only boring people got bored. That is until one day I realised that I was in fact bored all the time, or at least most of it.
Your last sentence resonates with me. Ive fixated on creating systems that could help me. Planners. Reminders. Notifications. Ive dabbled on digital and analog. And what works for me is buddy system. But my conscience tells me that im bother other people, im being dependent and clingy and selfish. And also my own willfullness makes it that im irritated when my notifications disturb me instead of treating as a good intervention when im fixating on one task or have no energy nor motivation to push thru with maintaining a routine i made to help myself
A funny ADHD story… my husband has it and it has always been difficult being married to him because he loses everything. I came up with a solution and placed a basket next to the door so he could put all his important daily things in it: his keys, phone, wallet, etc. so, one day we are leaving and he looked confused. I asked him what was wrong and he said he couldn’t find the keys. I told him to look in the basket to which he replied, “Yup, I’ve misplaced the basket.”
I have "spots" for everything, and I've had to work hard to make it a habit to put things in their correct spots around the house. My phone, for example, only gets laid down in certain places. If I start to lay it down in a weird place, I pause and think if I'll forget later, and then either put it in a "correct" spot or out in the open so it's obvious to find. I still have to recruit hubs to help me find it sometimes, but the system more or less works. Growing up, my dad always kept his pants for the next day on a chair in his bathroom. Anything he needed for the next day went on those pants. I adopted the same routine, except with my purse. My purse stays next to the door. The first thing I do walking in is set my purse down. If I need something for the next day, I immediately put it on my purse, or I will forget and walk out the door without the thing. Keeping up with all the things can be SO exhausting!
All you said all the time. SEVERE ADHD and we constantly interrupt people no matter how hard I try. Strummin' my life with your words. Mindfulness is a conscious effort and focusing is our problem. IT IS HARD. AND, WE ARE SOME OF THE MOST INTELLIGENT PEOPLE AROUND. THANKS.
I get into a lot of trouble because of this. I tend to interrupt a person because I'm so excited to share my thoughts and I feel like I can't hold my thought for much longer or I'll lose it and oftentimes I do when I'm able to get holdnof myself of not interrupting another person. Even when I'm already talking I lost my train of thought often and I forgot what I was trying to point at.
The most painful overlooked symptom is being socially unaware and missing social cues which end up offending people which in turn alienates friends and potential partners because they don’t understand and think the person with ADHD is just being obnoxious/ thoughtless/ self obsessed.
That's a more difficult one because, from personal experiences, having ADHD and being, for lack of a better word, a bit of an asshole, are not directly correlated. It's one thing to occasionally say an offensive thing (we ALL do that from time to time) and it's a whole other thing to say something more consciously harmful, and not understand and apologise when people react accordingly. I also think most people with ADHD that I've ever met have been highly social and thoroughly pleasant creatures, and what you're describing would not be part of my own ADHD identifiers. What you might actually be talking about is the overlap between ADHD and ASD. they were previously considered mutually exclusive but it's now increasingly regarded as part of the same spectrum. What you're talking about is absolutely textbook ASD, and I think not widely associated with ADHD.
The hardest part about ADHD for me is feeling like I’m CONSTANTLY doing every task twice. Like everything I touch, I end up getting distracted, or losing part of the task, and having to circle right back to it again a few minutes later. “If I go downstairs for the laundry, I’ll grab the vacuum too!” And than I only get the vacuum, when the laundry was the main task, and now I have to go back to get the laundry. “Oh I’ll grab a cup of water from the kitchen and I’ll also switch off the light while I’m there!” And then I end up only switching off the light and realizing I need to get back up to get my cup of water. It’s exhausting!!
You could be describing my daily routine! I so relate to this symptom. It also causes friction in my relationship, because he just doesn't understand why I can't complete one simple, single task or how I let things get so disorganized & "messy" to the EXTREME.
Im a dentist, a root canal specialist and i feel i definitely have add. Im completely focused when im treating someone but when ever i talk to someone i am never attentive, im lost in my thoughts, day dreaming. I have to ask people to repeat what they just told me.
@@James-q4x9fBecause someone went to school worked hard and is successful that’s selfish ambition? What a horrible remark when a person leaves themself vulnerable to share. A selfless person shares their struggles , a selfish person uses it against them 🧐. This response from you is enough for certain people to crawl into a shell and not share again. That’s also known as a bully. Quite clear you know nothing of love ,wisdom nor God …. That was un Godly.
@@nanachamps I'm a fellow struggler brother. We are more depraved than we know. My intent was not to beat you up or be a bully, I was just being direct and concise. I'm sorry for offending you. At least consider the Biblical perspective that we are more deceived and needy of God's Spirit than we know.
They mentioned people with ADHD working harder just to keep up or appear normal. I am a teacher and am often one of the last people to leave my office because it takes me so much longer to complete the work necessary for my job. I have to read my to do list over and over just to stay on task. I finally started meds and am so happy to be able to do a good job and finish on time. It's amazing.
I taught for 15 years and struggled with ADHD the entire time. I had to work twice as hard as every other teacher. I was a the first teacher to arrive at school, sometimes as early as 5 am and always there by 6 am. I was an excellent teacher who could hide my adhd. My early career I had 2 preps to teach and the last 5 years I was able to teach only 1 prep. Other teachers could not understand why I loved teaching one course all year because it would bore them. They had no idea that fewer courses offered me a bit more level of concentration. I was always very disorganized, forgetful of what students would say to me during and after class and would even forget the scheduled faculty meetings. So I wouldn’t forget parent meetings I would always write myself a big note that I couldn’t miss. I always forgot to take attendance and just made it up from memory at the end of the day. Then I decided to make a responsible student take attendance for me in each class. All the while no one knew I had it except me. I’m left teaching and went into a type of business that would accommodate my adhd and was much happier. I always missed the kids though. I just retired and I always refused to take meds. Maybe I should have. I know what what you’ve gone through. I’m 62 and just retired a month ago. I am and always will be a scatter brain but I’ve learned to embrace it.
@@Workingcockers I teach band and used to forget stuff kids tell me all the time. Now, I use my phone to set alarms to remind me. Otherwise, I forget to get new reeds for weeks at a time, forget instrument repair, etc. It took me years to learn to consistently use a written lesson planner, though it helps. I was lucky though, I had years of assisting other band directors to help me figure stuff out before it was all on me. I started volunteering at an elementary school when I was in high school. I didn't finish my credential for 12 years after that. Can you guess why it took so long? 😂
I completely understand that! I would stay working evening at school working on report cards before the janitors left to be able to have a quiet environment with a big chunk of time ( 6 hours a night) to accomplish that week what other colleagues complete in a few days. I know that now and just have to allocate that additional time
@@Cutiejuliya i was a power washing contractor in Virginia for 25 years. I hired an office manager so I just had to go out and do the work with my crew. I sold that business. I have been training dogs for myself for competitions so I started an obedience dog training business. Dogs keep me focused.
I was diagnosed last year the week I turned 60. I suspected that I might have had ADHD as a kid (long before anyone was diagnosing it), but then I dismissed it because I thought I was too lethargic to have this disorder. Then I saw that one of the hidden symptoms in adults is fatigue. I think a big part of the crushing exhaustion I was feeling (greatly exacerbated by a period of unrelenting stress on many fronts that precipitated my diagnosis) came from my brain working like a pinball machine all day, trying to get dopamine, trying to recover after interruptions (a big issue with adult ADHD, I think), trying to corral my thoughts, etc. Attempting to excel in today's overstimulating fast-paced world within this framework and failing then leads to frustration and depression... which only causes more fatigue.
Yes, you did have it as a child. It‘s a necessary requirement for the diagnosis that the symptoms were present when you were younger. That doesn’t mean that you must have been diagnosed as a child. Especially when you‘re older (because the disorder was not well-known when you were young) or when you don‘t have the inattentive type without hyperactivity or when you‘re intelligent enough to be able to compensate and don‘t have problems in school it might not have been diagnosed as a kid. All the best for you!
I love that you described yourself whirling around like a pinball machine. It was a perfect simile and choice of words . Another challenge for us is INTERRUPTIONS which have become too constant with these annoying telemarketers and nuisance private health insurance companies that want to privatize Medicare with medicare rewards . I work at home and must answer work calls . I’ve even written too my US Senator Bobby Casey For a reprieve from these nuisance health insurance agents .
Being 60 myself, I can totally completely relate. I was diagnosed with adhd when my son was diagnosed with add in 2 nd grade. It’s a nightmare. Can’t wait for an all natural cure!!! 🙏🏻 by the way I took rx drugs for it when my son took the same or similar drugs while he’s in school. He’s an adult now still takes those awful addicting drugs, while I only did for a few months off and on for a year or two, then dropped them completely. Bad side effects for me anyway.
I'd love to see a psychiatrist, but every one I've looked into says, "We are not accepting new patients with primary insurance. Uninsured patients pay $500 for their first visit and $250 for each following visit." And then I start feeling utterly betrayed by the entire medical community and give up.
Ditto but figured it out. Took me a long while but worth it. Try, try, try. Let me know if you want me to look into something for you too. Happy to try and help if I can.
This was SPOT ON!!! Y’all explained the symptoms perfectly. I was diagnosed in 2016 and I did hear “stop procrastinating” or “you’re being lazy” or “I’ve asked you 5 times and it’s been 3 weeks and it’s still not done”, but it’s quite literally out of sight out of mind and needing the circumstances to be just right to complete a task. ADHD is not “Oops, I misplaced my car keys. I’m so ADHD today”. It’s a constant struggle I deal with. I have breakdowns where I just can’t handle it anymore and I need help doing tasks any adult should be able to do like, call people back, remember where I put things down on the counter when I’m cooking, or cleaning up and showering. It’s a debilitating brain fog and it makes me seem less than and not as smart. Now I’m sad. 😞
Hang in there. We are differently wired. Do some research on not caring what other people think of you. There are some great (and funny) books out there that are eye openers. I think of myself as someone with a physical disability. If you have a limp caused by a bad knee, birth defect, or injury, you know you can't run as fast as other people. You certainly aren't going to try out for the olympics. It doesn't make us less as people. Each of us is the total of our capabilities and limitations. You'd think of ways to help you deal with the limp. I'm working on ways to help me deal with the executive dysfunction. It's a challenge. It's exhausting. But I know I'm not "less than." I'm just not an Olympian. :)
yeah uh..me too! My mom tells me apply myself even though I am, when I tell her that she says I'm not and gets angry when I really am! One time I told her it could because I might have adhd, and she told me that I was using it as a excuse. She looks annoyed n exhausted when i tell her I forgot my mask, she yells when I tell her that I forgot to do something she told me to do multiple times. It defidentally is out of sight out of mind, because even though multiple times I remember what I have to do, it immediately gets replaced with some other thought, or I forget what I just remembered AGAIN. I'm a kid but im old enough to understand and comprehend like other kids, so my mom gets confused and paranoid when I scream and breakdown when she drops my toys, or when I ask her a question for the fifth time that day. And also, sometimes there's a loop where she tells me something, I leave, and come back and ask her what she said again. It eventually ends up where she just does it herself. I forget to call people back too, and might put my phone on silent when my mom is gone just for her to come back and yell at me worried about why I didn't listen. I can't even turn the knob on doors or the sink and bathtub sometimes. If I'm looking for something, I could be looking for it for hours just for my mom or me to see that what i was looking for is right there the whole time. I cry out of nowhere in a conversation, and it ends up where my mom is yelling at me to tell her what's wrong as if it's gonna help or snap me back to reality. I might tell my mom that I want this, and when she gives it to me, I don't remember why she did, and or I didn't actually ask for this, when I did and I just didnt tell her what I really wanted or forgot. It hurtsalot especially when my mom admits she doesn't know how to take care of me and my sibling because we have problems she's not equipped for. have a nice day!
@@NIGHTBLOODUSAGI I can really feel for you. My entire life has been like this. My whole childhood I was called the absent-minded professor and told I was like a chicken running around with my head cut off and that I would lose my head if it weren't attached. I was called lazy and undisciplined. I didn't figure out any of it until I was really old. I know this is painful for you right now, but I want to tell you how good it is that you are recognizing these symptoms in yourself. That is really astute of you. Your mother may not get it, and there are lots of people out there telling parents that ADHD doesn't exist or that it's being used as an excuse. It's not. I hope for you that you get the support you need. Maybe you can do some research online and find some articles for your mother to read. In the meantime, hang in there and try and find methods to help yourself as much as possible. It takes time to set up routines that will help you remember what it is you need to do. You're not going to be successful all the time. And that's okay. Start having patience with yourself, and when your mother doesn't get it, just keep reminding yourself that she doesn't understand and hasn't been educated about this. If you can't get the help that you need right now, make it part of your life plan to figure this out as you get into adulthood. In the meantime do some research on your own behalf about techniques that will help you every day. If you have a cell phone or a tablet, use your calendar and your alarm and your reminders for everything. For some things I have double reminders that my phone notifies me about so I can get something done, because I will forget it if the reminder isn't there. For instance, if I have to go somewhere I will put it in my calendar, but I'll also put another entry in my calendar an hour before it that says get ready to go to this place. If I don't, I'll be late and forget the things I have to bring. To deal with neurodivergence, you have to drop being a perfectionist. Go for 80% or 85% accuracy and success. Just accept the fact that you're going to mess up sometimes, and don't be hard on yourself when you do. Life finally got so much easier for me when I decided that I would have to live it at my own pace, and if I got distracted by 10 different things before I got one done, then that would just have to be okay. Learning to laugh about yourself is helpful, too. Good luck.
Sometimes I think we don't have words to describe how ADHD feels like. "I can't make myself to clean the flat" and then you get the answer: "Yeah, I hate that too." And this is true but I really can't get myself to do it. There is something in my brain that just don't allow me to do that. Or a lack of something that should allow me to do that.
I am married, for 50 years,, to someone with ADHD Inattentiveness, And I also think maybe a little asburgers. I have shared a lot of these videos with him and he has gotten treatment on and off over the last 25 years as He was diagnosed when our 15 year old son was Di post. I would love to see a video on how much stress it puts on the partner of the person married to someone with AD.HD. I have seen a few about how to fix the relationship, but it never addresses the fact that it doesn't change all of the past issues, that still keep coming up
I set alarms to break up the cleaning. I also set the alarms at 'off' times. Example: 7:33am Sweep the kitchen / 7:08 am Dump the bathroom Trash / 8:17pm Put in a load of laundry..... I swear this works (granted I also have a shower that reminds me to take a shower BEFORE I have to leave for work lol)
Diagnosed in my late 50s. Then I look back and realized so many things could have been different and better. I also see the ADHD in what I enjoyed when I worked in industry doing Engineering. I realized that my trying to stay organized and routines were all working in my favor to help me stay ahead of the ADHD. For example, I've had a calendar since high school. I only have one thing to work on, on my desk at a time (a real issue with MS Windows....), etc. I also see how hating some tasks and procrastinating, letting things slide until they were urgent, missing on some deadlines, etc., all part of the ADHD. I struggle to initiate tasks where I don't know what I am doing or that I dislike. Sometimes even a phone call is challenge. Wish I would have known earlier.
yeah, even if I do remember, I let them slide till their urgent, multiple times these past few years school stuff like projects or just class work is late because i wait till the last day to turn them in. Or if I'm in extreme pain I forget or just wait till I can't walk anymore. I can't do things without someone enabling me to most of the time and so when it's something where I have little to no xp and I can't get help I fail and or do bad.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 41 after seeking treatment for burnout, anxiety and depression. At first, I didn't want to take medication, so I worked with my therapist on coping techniques for over a year, which helped a little, but I was still struggling most of the time. After a year, she encouraged me to meet with a psychiatrist to talk about medication options, and he recommended a low dose of Concerta which has made a huge difference. The first day I took it, I remember my brain was so quiet. I didn't know how to react without all the intrusive thoughts, and I had no idea how debilitating they were until they weren't there all the time.
This is helpful. I'm also over 40 and always thought I could handle multitasking. But I teach high school and feel like I don't have organization in my classroom and intrusive thoughts fight for priority attention. Does concerta really help with all the things?
@@shelleycharlesworth5177 A lot of ADHD meds have a low amount of meth in them (purified, not the street version, which is often mixed with other drugs), so it's unlikely you can find something over the counter to help with it. And yes, meth. For people without ADHD, it would make them high and likely addicted. For people with ADHD, it makes their brain function "normal". Doesn't repair the executive dysfunction and such, I believe, but it temporarily helps improve the issues.
I work in retail. As an adult with ADHD, it’s been a really good place for me. I used to work as a social work case manager where I was by myself a lot with clients, and struggled to have a consistent schedule and stay up with all the paperwork. I realized the environment wasn’t working for me nor for my ADHD. Having supportive people around me in retail has significantly helped me, especially since I verbalize thoughts a lot to others in order to not ruminate or get too much anxiety.
Interesting! My last job was a nightmare with my ADHD. It made me realize that I have to get into a more ADHD friendly occupation. I was in a state of being hyper vigilant against making mistakes. Literally could not sleep or eat properly. Maybe I will try retail. Thanks for the info, it helps a great deal.
I have ADHD and autism. One day when I was in high school, my mom told me that she had met a classmate of mine, who told her that I came across as snobby, because people would call out to me, but I wouldn't respond to them. I was really stunned when she told me this, because I wasn't aware of any times in which I had ignored people calling out to me. The only thing I can think is that I was lost in my own thoughts and was oblivious to what was going on around me.
I grew up with undiagnosed ADHD and it was hell. I’ve only been diagnosed as of a couple of years ago but instead of taking medication, meditation has helped me be able to focus on one thing at a time when I need to.
Finally reached out to Gp after impulsive speech yet again got me into trouble Theu claimed I had focus issues. I hyperfocus also have difficulty doing multitasking. Told them I think it's adult adhd. They claim they can't support it and ended contract. Everything else fine. Good worker.. Long waiting list for appointment nhs. Is this legal? UK. Even with out an official diagnosis., is this a breach of the Equality Act 2010?
I have been meditating for about 4 months now and I’m amazed how much mindfulness has helped me, especially with not going down “rabbit holes”. I use the 10 percent happier app daily for 10 minutes - highly recommend.
Just diagnosed last year with ADHD and Asperger's, age 68! Ritalin has really helped the ADHD. I am calmer now, can focus better! I can deal with the Asperger's. I like most of its traits. Not the extreme hypersensitivities!
I absolutely cannot do most meditation strategies, because I have ADHD. Some brief, guided meditations or short breathing exercises are tolerable, but most meditations are far too boring to sustain my interest.
Every time I try to meditate I fall asleep. I've recently been clued into the fact that I get fatigued when I'm understumulated. Same with watching movies- gotta nap in the middle. It's so frustrating, but I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next month for some help.
I'm 47 and have never been diagnosed, but realised a couple of years ago while reading the symptoms of ADHD that it was a checklist of how I was as a kid, and things still struggle with today. When I was a kid ADHD didn't 'exist' and I was constantly called lazy by my frustrated parents which has caused no end of emotional issues for me. I've somehow managed to end up with a decent job but I still have major struggles with focus and especially attention to detail. I miss really obvious things because my brain just wants to speed through everything that I'm not zoned in on (which is most things). On the other hand, when I'm doing a hobby or something I'm super interested in, I can go all day without eating a meal. It's like falling into a time warp.
I’m 23 and couldn’t relate more. Teachers would literally complain to my mom “I think he has adhd you get him tested” and my mom would not budge. A whole lot of sadness and suffering later and I’ve developed a whole bunch of little methods to help myself but still find myself struggling with things that should be simple. My hope is learning more about adhd will help me understand my childhood better and help me deal with adult life better.
50 and your spot on! It really helps to see I'm not alone out there, appreciate the comment! I somehow managed my way through life undiagnosed. It was difficult at times and was lucky to be surrounded by nice people they had no idea, nor did I, about my differences. I feel so lucky to have a great job and great family. It was my daughter who identified adhd in herself... I admit I was a denier at first but she's opened up a whole new understanding of myself, her, my son and their grandad! I don't think I'll ever bother with an official diagnosis given my age but I know and that's all that matters! Good luck to all you fellow adhd'ers who are seeking help, it will be ok👍
i’m glad you’re getting the support you deserve now! it infuriated me when adults and teachers would assume i’m lazy because i’d zone out all through class or have trouble remembering directions, etc. especially as a kid, it’s like how are you supposed to know?
As an adult with Inattentive ADHD, I hate how the DSM-5 explains our symptoms. It does a really poor job of explaining why we struggle. It's really focused on what can be observed or what other people complain about. I hate that it calls us careless, because we care a lot, probably more than most neurotypicals. Also, I've never encountered an individual with ADHD that is fully "cured". People just learn how to mask better as adults.
Yes I've also noticed that the DSM-5 doesn't explain the internal mechanics and operating sequences and cycles, in other words, *the internal life* of any mental disorders. That is presumably deliberate. It strictly lays out the _observable_ symptoms of disorders so that someone with not very much insight into the workings of the patient's mind can diagnose disorders. I think the DSM-5 probably shouldn't be changed. It is what it is. What's needed is a whole new manual created primarily from input from people that have these conditions / disorders and have lived with them for a long time. Specifically the people who have a high level of introspection and can describe what is going on inside them in detail! Several mental health conditions actually enhance this introspective / empathic capability! Eg: Schizoid Personality Disorder, Schizotypal Personality Disorder, possibly ADHD. So that should be harnessed to create something like this, which would provide a lot more insight for mental health professionals and other interested readers.
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ I highly recommend Carol Tuttle’s book ‘it’s just my nature’ the type 1 energy. This is not a deficit or disorder the medical system and the DSM say it is. Find your truth. ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
@@katiegreenwood8738 If what I have is ADHD, I can tell you it's definitely a disorder and a dysfunction. But probably one that can be greatly improved in some instances with some kind of treatment. It does have positive aspects though.
As an adult with adhd, I constantly forget where I put important things. Panic attacks on losing keys I was literally just holding at the last minute I need to leave happens alot. Even when I consciously set myself up to not fail it can still just happen.
whenever I'm doing a home DIY project, I will lose the tools I'm working with. It's maddening. I can be holding a hammer, set it down, and it will teleport to a different dimension.
I'd have this issue more if I didn't have a tray I keep the keys in, just inside the door. In fact I've made it such a habit to put my keys there when I get home, I rarely lose them any more. My wife loses hers all the time, which is kinda ironic because she's the one who doesn't have ADHD! LOL
I was just diagnosed as adhd a couple weeks ago and have been on meds for the last 2 weeks. I’m 26, I relate to all of this so much… I always wondered why I was so “stupid” , why I couldn’t just pay attention and focus on what everyone was saying around me, why I couldn’t stay organized and up to date on tasks. I feel so validated after this, it’s a lazy Sunday and didn’t take my meds today and I feel so different today as opposed to yesterday. I think we are still in the process of working on the correct dosage but I’m starting to get help and honestly I’m so excited.
@@kaarinashilula2225 Yes they really do, it went from me constantly zoning out during conversations and work meetings and playing catch up afterwards, or being assigned a work task to do X, Y, and Z. and going from wait i know Y but can you repeat X and Z and then , forgetting Y. From sitting in a depressive spiral at home wanting to do so many things but not being able to do anything. They say the people that don't need medication take advantage of the meds and do a million different things at once and are going 100mph. For me, I knew i needed it when i started paying attention in conversations, feeling like i could participate, remembering work tasks long enough to at least write them down and organize them, and get my laundry done on sundays. When the hardest day to day tasks become manageable and easy. It's like putting glasses on for the first time and i can actually function like everyone else. This update is 3 months after my initial comment, my dr and i have figured out the correct dosage for me, I've been told that my performance has significantly improved at work, and I don't falter at the most mundane tasks like i used too.
I have been recently diagnosed with Adhd. And it all makes so much sense know. I have had always a hard time remembering things people tell me no matter how much I was trying. Starting and following through with tasks. I always thought maybe I am just dumb. I kept getting fired from jobs, which led to me feeling worthless and being depressed. People often thought I am just not interested in doing my job, but it was just exhausting. I am looking forward to trying out meds.
@@fullspeedaheadbarcelona6502 Hey. I would say they do. I currently take Elvanse 50mg daily. It does help with focus and being able to do tasks without being distracted so easily. At the beginning of taking it it made me feel restless and anxious sometimes, but now I'm doing pretty good on it. And also just getting the diagnosis did a lot for me. Knowing that I am not stupid just that my brain works different and not being afraid to ask if you don't get something the first time. What's your story? Do you have ADHD?
Diagnosed with ADHD at 26, 53 now. It's always comforting to hear Dr. Judy and others articulate the challenges I deal with all day every day. But here she says that ADHDers "dislike" detail and "dislike" tasks requiring sustained mental effort, such as paying bills, and that is why they avoid or procrastinate. In my experience, the hangup has nothing to do with like or dislike. It recently occurred to me that what I experience is very similar to my understanding of dyslexia, except that it's with in-the-moment perception of time and process instead of language. I can clearly big-picture imagine the process of paying bills, for example, and it's neither complicated nor time consuming. But when I sit down to do it, it's painfully difficult (sometimes feels impossible) to figure out what to do first, and next, and next. I've even written out step by step instructions for myself, but I'm still slow to figure out how to do each step as I work through. Then what should have taken less than an hour takes a lot of the day, isn't finished before I have to move on to something else, and there are probably mistakes. Of course I don't enjoy that experience, but it is incredibly stressful and frustrating and anxiety-inducing, and that is why I hate to do it and avoid it when I know it needs done. It's much bigger than simply disliking. I dislike scooping the cat boxes too, but it's a simple task. If that doesn't get done when it should, it's because I didn't think of it (out of sight out of mind), not because I dislike it. All my life and sometimes even now, my mom will say "everyone has to do things they don't like". This is so dismissive and deflating. Obviously that isn't Dr. Judy's take, but ascribing the problem to "dislike" misses the point and screams Character Defect to the uninformed.
We wish there is someone who can do it for us, even if we have to pay for it. And maybe we should, if we can afford it. If our loved ones think that thats crazy to have this sort of perspective, then one should learn how to deal with that
I've been on a prescribed ADD med since kindergarten. It wasn't easy feeling like I needed a pill or people wouldn't like me. Im 58 now and still bounce through life with laser like focus...on whatever is currently in my field of vision. You forgot to mention the multitude of jobs and literally careers we burn through. And a soulmate? Life partner? I certainly tried so many times I forgot why I tried. I can say that it did take many painful lessons to train my brain to have specific places and/ or leashes for keys, glasses, wallet etc. I may be exhausted or in a rush but I stop and make myself put the important things in their place. One person commented that she never felt so understood. Those are my sentiments as well. I felt compelled to join and comment. Very rare for me.
I quit one job because I could not keep up with the volume of email coming my way. I was so happy when I no longer had to deal with that email account.
I have ADHD too and you know what, it's come in very handy with being a single parent. My husband died. The things that used to be a problem are actually helpful with running a household and keeping up with my 5 year old. I'm very easily distracted but I also notice everything. And I can hyperfocus like a laser beam for hours. I can actually outlast people that are totally fine. I have aphantasia and no inner monologue too so that might actually help. My head is a lot quieter than most of yours.
Yes, after a lifetime of forgetfulness, it really surprises me when people don't have decided spaces for their shit. How else will you ever find anything?
@@GoddessFirstClass2882 sry. I just noticed some peeps talked back , lol . I'm down for that. In my opinion the relative anonymity afforded a totally safe environment to be honest with others in conversation might just be my favorite social media perk. ....Then ADHD kicked in and I realized that it may have the dumbest thing I've ever said. Well, not the dumbest. I remember when I was in elementary school one time and Mrs. Martin pointed out that I was the youngest person in the entire school and I again felt lonely and isolated. Does anybody know the expression the Chinese people use when they feel lonely or isolated? " We are living in interesting times. " Do quotation marks go inside of the period or outside? ....I'll wait. Speaking of foreigners they are pretty stupid to pick a whole different language than ours. I'll bet the Chinese don't even know the period rule. I'll bet they use the word period incorrectly all the time. I shouldn't talk about periods because I believe white males go to prison for speaking of gender differences in a public forum. How did we get on public forums again? I am all for um. Heh heh... For curious " Norms" ,( those who wish they had adhd so are snooping ) , the previous psychotic break is actually a pretty good example of typical adhd minds who are relaxing their filters and allowing a free form stream of conscious thought to fall out of the front of their face...as it were. Cognitive dissonance is a more medical description these days. And hello GFC. I've only met one goddess in my lifetime and I destroyed her self esteem and threw her upon the heap of other women I have thrashed into submission throughout my life. Actually they mostly ran away screaming . See how I realized that social media WASNT the best platform for honest debate? Wow...originally I thought I would lighten the mood of sufferers but no..nope. I'm not satisfied. As God is my witness ( god...phttt ) I can't stop. And yes MRS GFC. I am old enough that the mild anorexia and energy boost that accompanies Adderall fits my needs better than the crusty meds. Ritalin. ..etc. I do not like how I feel on them...
I got diagnosed at 34 (2 months ago) with inattentive adhd. I’m on medication now, because it got to the point where I couldn’t function in the world anymore. I notice a huge difference on the days when I take my meds and when I don’t. I feel like I’m just existing when I don’t take my meds. And when I do take them, I’m way more productive. It makes me sad that I need a pill to help me function, but I’m also happy that there’s pills that exist that do help. Yesterday I didn’t take my meds, and I was getting ready to leave my house, when I couldn’t find my keys. I went CRAZY looking for them for at least 10 mins. Then I realized I was holding my arm funny. Sure enough, I had placed the keys under my arms and forgot I even did so. I’m super forgetful! Sometimes I’ll remember something I said I was going to do from weeks ago! It’ll just come back to me out of nowhere. It’s very frustrating! Lol.
I may have ADHD. One thing I find annoying about myself is when I'm looking for something, like in a box full of stuff or a drawer, at some point I'll completely forget what I'm looking for and I'll just be looking at stuff. I may have seen the object three or four times as I'm rummaging around but I'm just looking at things as thoughts and memories come to me with each random object I touch. The other extremely annoying thing is what I call doorway induced memory loss. I'll enter another room to get something, say a screwdriver, and all of the sudden I have no idea why I'm there. I'll walk out of the room, see the project I'm working on, remember it's a screwdriver I was looking for, go back into the room, have no idea why I'm there and sometimes I will do this 3 or 4 times in a row. Ok, so now I have the screwdriver and I walk back to my project only to discover that it's disappeared from my hand. It was in my hand less than a second ago, I swear it was, really. I spend 20 minutes looking for it only to discover that half of that time I'm just looking at random stuff around the room while thinking about an episode of Green Acres I saw as a kid, and I've forgotten that I'm even looking for something. That Arnold Ziffel was one funny pig. "Electricical," lol, Eva Gabor was perfect for that roll. I glance over at the project and realize I'm supposed to be looking for a screwdriver. Then I find it in the refrigerator. Wait, why did I even open the fridge door in the first place? Now I start flipping out. WHY IS IT IN THE REFRIGERATOR?!?! I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER GOING TO THE FRIDGE! HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?!?! IS SOMEBODY PLAYING PRANKS ON ME? WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? AAAAGGGHHH!!!!!! I flip the f*ck out for 10 minutes straight and then, suddenly I realize I'm hungry. I wonder what's in the fridge... Oh yeah, it's the screwdriver, it's still there. I'm 59 and I've been dealing with this my whole life.
@@tiki_trash omg! Sounds like me. I can completely relate- I even thought before I realised I might have adhd ( after my son was diagnosed with), that I was affected with Alzheimer’s. My advice to you is- get your diagnosis. Educate yourself abt it. There is plenty of strategies to help your brain to improve. All the best 2u!
@@tiki_trash That is still a problem for me and it’s the reason I finally sought help. I thought I was having early onset dementia but I had several different other issues along with it.
THANK YOU this is such an awesomely validating video!! Being called “LAZY” for my entire life when I was actually trying soooooo hard, has honestly caused me wayyyyy more issues as an adult than any neurotypical person could possibly understand…
As far as losing things necessary for tasks or activities, as someone with ADHD, I do this all the time. I do a lot of home projects that require tools and for instance, I'll be working on a project outside, turn around to try and find the hammer that I literally just put down and have no idea where it is or where I put it. Only when I go inside the house do I discover that I had put the hammer down on the counter when I went in to get that drink of water. But I would have sworn on everyone I love that I had put it down outside.
Yep if it’s not attached to me somehow I’ll lose it. I have a d ring for my keys and if I don’t clip it to my belt loop and put it in my pocket I’ll literally look for them for 20 minutes and then realize there in my pocket. 😩
Yup I do that….tools, keys, wallet, paperwork, tickets, radios (for work) and have done for ages and ages…. I’m just discussing and discovering that at 45 I may have Inattentive ADHD ((edit* (probably mixed type 3 now) and low end spectrum level 1 ASD/C (what was old Asperger’s) I have managed upto COVID and earlier this year to subconsciously engineer why world to cope… I lost my fiancée partly due to a money issue…. Great video !!!!👌
Me every morning doing my makeup ..l I don’t even get up or go anywhere and I can never find things that were literally just in my hand …. It results in my room looking like a tornado hit it because of a lack of time I have to get to work since i procrastinated getting ready and can’t be late to work anymore … only to find that what I was looking for was right in front of my face … or running out of the house with my house slippers or going in to grab something I forgot only to leave something else behind 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤣😩😭😭
I was not diagnosed until I was 40. I was called “absentminded” throughout childhood and adolescence. I remember talking to a roommate, when I was in college, about that label. I said something like, “I realized recently that I am not absent minded. A more accurate description is preoccupied. I’m always thinking about things, processing information or fantasizing about something. It takes me away from noticing what is actually happening because my thoughts are often more interesting or attention grabbing than my tasks.” That should have been a clue. Ironically, I find myself listening to audiobooks, podcasts and UA-cam videos on topics like mindfulness, while often forgetting something more urgent or practical. 🙄 I love engaging with learning how to function well. I often try setting up systems which at first seem helpful…then something throws me off and it’s like the system never existed. I completely forget what to do. It’s beyond frustrating. I will say, setting reminders and alarms on my phone has helped a lot.
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ Carol Tuttle ‘it’s just my nature’ type 1 energy. This is not a deficit or disorder like society and the DSM has led people to belief. Find your truth. ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
I was just diagnosed with ADD at 46 and I have every single one of these issues…medication and speech/behavioral therapy have made a huge difference, but every day is still a constant struggle…how I made it through life thus far just astounds me
That was so useful for my psychotherapy practice. I love being able to invite my clients to watch videos like this; I even think it’s an ethical responsibility to help clients speed up their understanding and positive self regard which, in turn, saves them money in therapy.
Few things... there was no mention of hyper focusing. I find that if something I want to do is engaging enough, eg. mountain biking, my brain locks in on it, there's NO room for intrusive thoughts when you are engaged in split second decision making, the tree will hurt if it gets in the way. It takes longer to start on and lock in on a spread sheet lets say, but when I do, I get annoyed when interrupted. Which leads me to the idea of being able to focus better when under stress, which is opposite of what was stated; I have deep aversion to minutiae, maintenance tasks...boredom makes my symptoms worse. I find that routines are extraordinarily difficult for me to develop, leads me to the thought about dropping the keys in the same place by the door... that's if someone with ADHD/ADD even notices anymore that they have keys in there hand. That would require being in the moment. Once I complete the task for what the item is used for, I'm mentally onto something else almost rendering my body as disconnected from thoughts...those keys get put down anywhere, and I don't even remember doing it.
Me too, I hear ya. I have a work around for the key problem tho,,,dont lock anything & u wont get locked out, leave ur keys in the ignition at home & the back door unlocked when ur out, it helps if u have decent insurance policies for if things go wrong, the missus doesn’t like my leave it open idea
I'm bad with keys. I think its important to find and develop systems, and stick to them no matter what. I use a large keychain that clips to my Camelbak. I always take my Camelbak with me, whenever I leave the house. If Im just going to the garage, I clip my keys to my belt. The rule is that these are the only two places for the keys: clipped to the Camelbak, or the belt. If they aren't on the Camelbak, I look for the last pair of pants to check the belt. No matter what I can not deposit the keys anywhere else, because if I do, the universe will just gobble them up and I'll never see them again. This disturbs my wife, because it means I'm walking around with a gigantic collection of keys at all times, but the system works. She always tries to recommend finding ways to carry a smaller keychain but it just doesn't work for me. It's much harder to lose my pants or my backpack. Don't feck with the system
Hyper focus..then I realise when the focus is broken, I am very hungry, need to use the washroom REALLY badly, still haven't touched that drink I poured 2 hours ago, my body becomes achey, my cats are hungry, sometimes I even forget to breathe. But most of the time, not much focus.
thank you for explaining who I am, why I do what I do, and that I'm not lazy or willful in my decisions thank you, most of people I try to explain to dont believe me
My son is 6 his teacher called on first day of class sayin he was bad dand that if I ever took him to a Dr ,, she only allows my son to use bathroom 3 times a day because she says he slacking off she views him as a Bad kid judging him of one day of class only kuz he couldn't be still in story time, I agree it has impact me allot I feel so upset that people assume a child is just a bad kid @@lillianbarker4292
Thank you for mentioning the guilt and shame that goes along with our shortcomings. My daughter, at university, expressed her suspicion that she had ADHD. Honestly, I felt she was being dramatic and looking for excuses with regard to her performance. Being a supportive Mum of 53, I encouraged her to seek a diagnosis. Fast forward a month and I get a call; "Mum I've just been diagnosed with ADHD. What gives? I didn't pick it up off the ground!". She pointed out traits we share and encouraged me to speak to a psych also. Lo and behold, I have ADHD too and am about to start medication. I can't wait for the constant head chatter in particular to stop!! Very excited. Interestingly, a not widely publicised symptom in women is the continuous repeat of a phrase or more particularly a song in our heads. This is a problem I have acknowledged and discussed for 30 or more years. No one other than my daughter had ever experienced it.
I'm reading thru all these comments and it was NOT dawning on me that I might be (menopausal heightened) ADHD until the last thing you said. I have wondered why I have a song phrase on repeat in my mind every time there's quiet or a "break" in my activities. !!! But I have to throw this in here - I've also had tinnitus and a noticeable uptick in ADHD symptoms since 5g has gone up in my area and have an extreme brain response in big stores (fluorescent lighting perhaps?) I think EMFs are a big problem for many of us.
Thank you for sharing that lesser known ADHD symptom. I am a 35 year old woman diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD (mixed type) at age 17, only 2 months into my first semester of my freshman year of university. Once the curtain of structure provided in high school was pulled away, I almost immediately knew something was wrong with me. The problem was that I performed very well academically, always on the honor roll, graduating with high honors, and receiving an academic scholarship to my top pick school, so know one seemed to notice or care that it took me twice as long to complete a project or write a paper or read an assigned chapter, that I was almost always the last person in class to finish a quiz or exam, and that I was regularly either late for school, late for class, or late turning in an assignment or paper. It was assumed I took twice as long as everyone else to do these things because I was a “perfectionist” and very “anal” about things being a certain way (i.e. perfect). It hurt when my mother, classmates, or teachers would misinterpret the cause and completely miss how much I was suffering because I was pumping twice as much brain power and energy into everything, again, overcompensating to make sure I stayed focused, and as a result, how low my self esteem was (especially combined with the rolling tape of negative self talk especially female ADHDers experience both mentally and out loud. No one would’ve guessed that during lectures, I was firing on all cylinders cognitively just to keep up, or that when I returned to my dorm after classes, my executive functioning was so poor I would get overwhelmed with even where to start to the point of inadvertent procrastination. That’s a key word I felt was missed in this quite helpful and informative video by the way- inadvertent. We often don’t even realize we’re doing it until the point that the task has now become urgent, or for ADHD (hyperactive or mixed types like myself), we inadvertently interrupt people while speaking (a common occurrence for those of us that possess impulsivity symptoms). So back to my introduction into the neuro atypical world...after 2 sessions of extensive neuropsychological testing followed by hearing the psychiatrist say the words “moderate to severe ADHD,” I noticed I was shocked, relieved, and yet not surprised at all, seeing that I came to the student psych center in the first place because of my shameful suspicion it was ADHD. It was ADHD that led to me getting so far behind in half my classes by only October and receiving letter grades completely foreign to me (C’s, even D’s). It was ADHD that later led to me losing my university academic scholarship, even though my GPA was back up to 3.8 not even a year later, once I transferred to a school with much smaller classes than that big Tier I research state university I departed after completing my sophomore year. I withdrew from Calculus twice at the university due to falling so far behind and receiving less than mediocre grades, yet, I aced it at the next school I went to and ended up being recruited by my professor to fill a work study position tutoring in math, including calculus, (as well as a few other subjects such as English courses)! It’s truly amazing how much we ADHDers can thrive in the right atmosphere or with the right accommodations. In my case, all I needed were smaller classes, not sitting in a lecture hall with a hundred other students trying to understand a heavily accented math professor explain detailed equations, but from 20-30 ft away instead of right of me in those smaller classes. I realized I had been overcompensating throughout high school and I have been overcompensating my entire life. Even to this day, I see a therapist regularly and coping with/modulating ADHD symptoms comes up in nearly every session, one way or another lol 🤦♀️. As for the repeating phrases or songs, I had no idea that was ADHD-related- how fascinating! I guess it does make sense though through the lens of the almost obsessive-compulsive aspects of hyper focus. So thanks once again for introducing that observation to me. For the life of me, I could never figure out why I would get songs I like or even annoying ones I strongly disliked stuck playing on repeat in my head. I’ve even woken up to the same song already playing in my head that I struggled with the night before, interestingly enough. And even more strange is when it’s a phrase, sometimes one I spoke but usually spoken by someone else. It’s just so bizarre. Until now, I had thought it was a form of perseveration more commonly associated with OCD or autism spectrum disorders (ASD), and I began to wonder if I needed additional neuropsych screening! So thanks for saving me from that hassle, and thank you to everyone for sharing your experiences, especially all of you women out there, as it all truly helps destigmatize and demystify a still very much socially misunderstood neurological disorder! ✌️
@@victorialaur Ear worms!!!! I'm a musician, and there is a constant soundtrack in my head whether I want it or not. I require white noise to sleep, but oh, how lovely it would be to have brief respites of SILENCE.
For me, as a person that has both ADHD and autism, I prefer detail but have trouble staying focused on one detail and miss the bigger picture entirely. As for intrusive thoughts I have great trouble doing almost anything because at any point a word or phrase can set me off. It's an intense physical and mental pull I have little power over. I may even go off in my own little world while actively talking to someone and after a little while realize that I heard absolutely nothing being said.
I have ADHD. My oldest has ADHD, My 6 year old is same as you. Its been difficult with her having both she was miss diagnosed until she was 4 because the way the 2 interact. Like A hyper, talkative, social, autistic kid lol... But now we got it going. She's in school, special classes but we see a big difference. Its honestly nice seeing and adult with it because honestly when I found out I thought we would have to take care of her her whole life because how long it took here to learn things but we believe she will be high functioning
@@AM0908 I'm glad my rant had a positive effect. Just keep up the good work, teach her that she's not "wrong" being herself and help her get to grips with her gifts and limitations and I'm sure she'll make you proud one day! 👍
You are sooo exact! I was diagnosed 7 years ago. I take medication- it has saved me to the point that it helps me to focus on all the tasks professional & personal. I also believe, as a teacher, I totally understand my students and the way I teach has changed. In addition, I also believe we are super intelligent and always thinking ahead.❤
Not lazy, it's just picking things that don't suit the different way our brain works, when people and events are important to me, I'll be obsessively organised. If people and events are boring I don't. I'm extremely empathic so I fully listen to everyone even strangers and I can remember conversations I had 10 years ago word for word because it mattered, and it's an honour, if someone is complaining about their partner job or anything my brain sees as not.....something that isn't necessary or could be viewed in a different way, then it would be better to tell someone who relates better, I am super forgetful so I've learned, it's important when it comes to someone else's time I will push to make sure I remember, otherwise I'm good 👍 . It's lovely you guys made this video for people though. It's nice to know adults with adhd are recognised, thank you 🙂👋.
@@beckymm1989 thank you @Becky M, I believe ADHD or ADD is a gift, not a curse, if we follow our own path, and not in a weird incense burning kind of way, our way of thinking just offers an alternative way of viewing the world in a way most people don't think of, in everyday life 😉 😀 🌟👍💞.
I only have one issue that I struggle with that no-one seems interested in, I can't hate anyone to a dangerous level, I can't hold grudges at all to dangerous levels, these are the 2 things I wish someone would take seriously, I am 51 and these 2 emotions were glaringly obvious at 9 years old when it started to sink in when other kids meant it when they said they didn't like someone, it was inconceivable to me 🥺😣😟🤷♀️ that has gotten much stronger as I've gotten older, it's very lonely 🙂😒❤️🩹.
I think that some of my 'forgetfulness' (adult ADD, 99th %ile) is not really losing the memory of something, but rather not paying attention when I place my keys or my cellphone, etc. down in the first place. If I'm thinking about one thing while doing another thing, then of course I'm not going to remember the task I was doing. In a sense, I wasn't really there when I did something.
Exactly! When we are not present this is what happens. I find there are reasons for us NOT being present. Past issues get triggered, or we dont feel safe being in our bodies or being present. Its a huge problem for humans.
I was called lazy all throughout my childhood! I just was diagnosed in April. I am so happy to understand my mind and what has been going on! Omg a couple of people said “You aren’t organized!” I am excited to do and be better.
I very recently took an ADHD test for a laugh and then did another one and another one and then the realization hit me - this is ME! It's like I was finally seen - I'm not an emotional person but I burst out crying. I'm 34 and all my life I've felt different. People have always been so impressed by how smart I am and my single-minded focus on whatever my latest passion is. I've changed so many careers by now and I inevitably reach a point when the daily grind gets to me, and even the thought of doing one more day of repetitive, mindless tasks physically hurts my brain and I end up dropping whatever I'm doing in disgust. I've always known that's no way to make a successful career or build a life for that matter, but I've never been able to control it - it's stronger than me - I just can't force my brain to cooperate. It's so comforting to know there's other people like me, even though I still don't know what I can do to control it.
That's what I'm going through as of right now! I just feel like I can't move forward I'm waiting for that aha moment but it doesn't happen and been trying to build something for myself as well and just can't seem to get there. I started accepting that something might not be right.
Yes! I think the job I'm currently at is the longest I've ever stayed in one place. But I'm bored. I hate going. Switching jobs now would mean a $5/hr wage drop in most cases and likely end up in the same boat in a few years anyway. It's really frustrating. I'd like to do something different but I have a hard time sticking to things.
Man, this video is definitely feeling relatable. I don't have ADHD, but I've always fought to pay attention, can't remember shit, can't focus, and totally cannot get details straight to save my life. I definitely understand these people, and feel for them.
I've been struggling to find an introduction to ADHD to show family and friends, even after being diagnosed over a year ago. This video and its follow-up are a real help. The back and forth between you both is very useful for countering their doubts. Thank you.
My ADHD usually takes the form of extremely effective hyperfocus on my work life, I have a highly complicated technical job that I absolutely love 😍 but physically and mentally I come home very tired so my home upkeep gets neglected as a result. Plus I HATE housework now that the kids are mostly grown. There are personal accommodations I've made for myself that have helped a ton. I bought a robot vacuum, I have litter robots for the cat pans. I have a 42" smart screen hanging on my wall to stay in my face and SHOW ME what I have planned for the day and longer term goals I have set for myself. And lastly, I parent myself. "Of you clean this mess up, you can do your hobby after that and not worry about this task anymore!" It may sound silly to neuro-typicals, but other ADHDers get what I mean.
I too had a highly technical job and had to develop coping mechanisms to be able to function. My colleagues would make fun of my OCD-like techniques for sustaining focus and remembering a myriad of steps for each project, but I was very effective in my job. Now that I am retired, my ADHD is running rampant, but there are no serious consequence, other than living in chaos much of the time. I hate the term "Deficit". It's a "feature" and it makes me unique... and sometimes hilarious.
This doesn’t sound silly at all! I’ve been reading a lot of replies to this video and it’s really helped me to feel like I’m actually part of a community of people who understand exactly what I’m going through. I’m 55 and I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a few years after I was diagnosed with depression. But it wasn’t until this year that I was diagnosed with ADHD. My doctor and I have been working on getting the meds just right for me but I can tell you that I feel 100 percent better than I did before I was diagnosed with my ADHD. it’s literally changed my life for the better. I wake up in the morning, take my meds and can focus on important things, organize my thoughts and live my life feeling good, accomplished and more confident. Before I started with these meds, and also having weekly meetings with my psychologist, I found it hard to sleep,woke up with horrible anxiety and would sometimes sit in bed for hours and hours because I felt safe. I would wait until my husband was going to be coming home from work to quickly clean up, make the bed and acting like I was fine. 5his only made me feel worthless and frustrated because I couldn’t figure out why I was this way. There are so many other things that I could write about but I feel I’ve gone on long enough. I’m just so happy and love getting out of bed in the morning to get my day started now. I would urge anyone who has had any of these feelings that I’ve mentioned, or any that I haven’t to speak to someone, reach out and get help. You can get better! I hope at least one person finds this helpful. One last thing.. I’ve even gotten back to painting and can focus on finishing things! Life is good!
@@lanaboisen4134 I was diagnosed at 42 and there has been a mourning period looking back on life. Knowing school was so hard due to inattentive symptoms and restlessness. And the motor mouth that had no stop 😅 The symptoms now project inward and the biggest change with meds for me, is seeing WHEN my brain is glitching and just refuses to think straight. Usually when I'm overly tired and sleep deprived. It's been so great feeling like time isn't flying out the window every day. I can think about some to do items then get up and do them (for the most part 😉) Have a great day!
I love listening to videos about ADHD & OCD. Our dear daughter-in-law has both which is new to us. We understand and have learned to adjust. If we have something to tell her, we make it within 30 seconds to get our story across. If we lend her anything, we don’t expect it returned. We wink at her saying that all of her kitchen drawers are junk drawers. And we drop gentle reminders since she doesn’t keep a calendar.
There are at least five different things I should be doing right now-all of which should have been done weeks ago-and yet I’m here. Haven’t been diagnosed yet, but I’m almost there
Same! I’m in perimenopause, and my ADHD symptoms have been much worse with hormones fluctuation. I’ve cooked all my life and these days, I sometimes struggle to follow a recipe or I make dumb mistake with my food. So frustrating! Also, my brain loops now. I can ask my husband the same question 3-4 times the same morning. 🤷🏼♀️ He’ll be like “are you all right” and then I realize I’m looping.
You've described me to a tee! I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 50s and everything started making sense. Some examples: I know I have an appointment with my doc, need to get bloodwork done before hand, and either I reschedule the doc appointment because I didn't get it done, or I did it last minute and knowbthey don't have results yet. AND I seldom pay my bill on time. AND I'm so overwhelmed with things I can't get ahead of my housework AND used to get in deep do-doo with my boss for not paying attention to boring details AND though my parents knew I was smart, but called me lazy. Yep! I've managed all my life this way and I'm in my early 60s. I still have trouble with it, but keeping notes helps a lot!
I'm 37 and just took an ADHD assessment yesterday and fell into the ADD spectrum. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes because so much of what I've struggled with finally makes a bit more sense. I had suspected it for some time but with a lack of access to healthcare I couldn't ever really do much about it. Hearing about these traits, recognizing how much they've affected my self image my entire life and how I've tried to compensate by feeling I needed to be the "best" at everything in order to feel worthy....it's just really damn refreshing to know there's options for treatment on the table now. Makes the fog a little less dense now.
This made me sad because I see so many of these traits in myself with zero intervention in 54 years. Probably amazing I’ve made it as well as I have over the years.
Don't feel alone with this. I am 54 as well,.I didn't figure it out until over 3 years ago. Sometimes I take solace in knowing at least I finally figured it all out. Well somewhat..😉
Oh no it's not modern life with its insane expectations, it's you, you have ADHD....lol. Try being nice to yourself self and deligate some stuff out of your life it might make things more manageable.
As ADHDr or more like ADD, I have intrusive thoughts and worries pretty much all the time I am awake. Also we don't get as much dopamine for working and finishing tasks like normal people do. However, I do things like have bills set to autopay, etc. to be responsible. Getting my expenses and milage for taxes is like pulling teeth for me.
@@testboga5991 Yep I the bulk package, ADHD, Anxiety, CPSTD, Rejection Senisitvity, Depression. Also ADHD people may be prone to get sucked in gaslighting & narricistic abuse, unless they know about it, have good boundaries and safe people to do reality testing. I first heard of boundaries, people pleasing and toxic manupulations, codependency, 10 years ago and I am trying my best to learn and apply.
They feed on each other and make things worse. Once I got a bit of control over my ADHD and started getting things done, the depression and anxiety improved. However, controlling the symptoms is a daily struggle.
Still haven't filed taxes...God I despise this disorder sometimes. If I had my refund even last week my life would be totally different...probably won't get it till next year at some point...
Diagnosed a year ago or so. All thanks to a video like this, and a honest look at myself. Glad I'm medicated now and starting to thrive like never before.
I was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD this past December this along with many other educational videos on UA-cam are very helpful for me as I am working on understanding the why behind the what and recovering from this diagnosis.
I don’t remember 2-3 minutes of things I did all the time. Sometimes I walk somewhere and I don’t remember walking there (idk if I made sense) bc I’m thinking about other stuff. I had no idea that was an ADHD symptom. Still learning more, thank you! Ps- also when I drive. I scare myself sometimes 😓
I understand this scary thing. I take some amount in comfort in knowing that whenever something happens that's in my immediate sphere of concern (vehicle in front of me braking, as an example) that I do still respond appropriately. So I'm taking in the information relevant to driving safely, but not committing it to short-term/working memory. It's taken me awhile to come to that conclusion, but only now with reading your comment and watching this video does it make actual sense WHY I've experienced it. I hope these words bring you some amount of comfort when you're experiencing those moments. Just because we're not remembering it doesn't mean we're not paying attention and being dangerous.
I used to drive all over Ireland for my job, which involved travelling through multiple towns and villages along the way. Many times, I be driving along a stretch or road, and I 'd realize I have no idea what the next town coming up is. When I'd get to the next town, I'd try recall driving through the previous few towns/villages...but nope. no recollection at all! Now, that's not to say I was unaware of traffic or anything else. I must have been because I'd have to have taken turns and changed routes as required, but...I was just thinking about stuff and took no mental notice of it. I used to call it daydreaming, but now after diagnosis, I realise it's adhd
Same even when people talks I easily forget it. My things are all missing sometimes :(( I remember when I was taking a bath I am wondering if I applied shampoo or not. Then I realized I forget to apply it. It is annoying because I get overwhelmed when so much when too much tasks need to be done.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type rather late in life, well in my 40ies. This is a great summery of ADHD inattentive type symptoms! Thank you Dr Judy and Kyle so much. I much hope that adults - especially women who often struggle with the inattentive type, which so often is overlooked - get diagnosed much earlier. Having undiagnosed ADHD is such a struggle because it really takes a huge toll on one's mental health. Even though there is no "cure" for ADHD, my life would have been so much easier, had I just known earlier. At least I could have saved myself from all that negative self talk, beating myself up for being stupid, lazy or down right dumb. We are not. We are really doing just our best with what we have at hand.
Diagnosed at 41 in early 2020. I feel like I could have written this! Sometimes I get really caught up thinking about "what if" and wondering how things would have been different. And I get angry about feeling like I wasted DECADES in some aspects of my life. I'm assuming at some point I'll have worked through it, but I'm still firmly in the the "late-diagnosis outrage" phase. The only immediate positive is I realized after my diagnosis that both of my kids also have ADHD and I can spare them what I went through.
Oh boy the loosing things absent minded. I would be painting in my studio and decide to make tea. Go down to make tea, go back up to paint with the tea, realize I left my paintbrush downstairs, go get it with tea in hand, go back up stairs with the brush, realize I somehow forgot the tea. 3 times a day. Like the myth of sisyphus. We had to put a hook at the door for my keys and my finance makes me wear them around my neck. I was super mad at first but I love it now, I always know where my keys are.
i won't say that you can't do worse, at least you didn't forget your closed backpack and closed suitcase in a train station and blocking traffic (terrorist policy) while brainwashing yourself you didn't ... didn't get sued btw thx god ...
Sounds like me but with gardening. I often grump to myself I spend more time looking for the tools I need for a specific job than I ever do actually doing the task.
Ugh 'losing things that are necessary ' honestly, the bane of my life. I can actually 'lose' my phone about 5 times in getting ready to leave the house. Also, putting my pen down somewhere when I'm making study notes and being unable to find it again. As a teaching assistant and now a trainee teacher, putting board pens down etc. It can actually become draining, always looking for stuff and sometimes I feel quite annoyed with myself but I'm trying to be kinder to myself. My diagnosis is a "a highly complex mixture of specific learning difficulties" as opposed to just ADHD itself but I definitely recognise many symptoms
I was just diagnosed 3 months ago with ADHD. I'm 36 & it literally saved my life being diagnosed... I tired to take my own life last summer from the overwhelming feeling like a failure. You wanted to know how often losing things necessary to a task happens (I had to rewind to see what the exact question was haha)... I literally lost a paperclip I needed to put back on a group of papers that I took that exact paperclip off of AND I hadn't moved. It took me 4 minutes to find the paperclip. I didn't have anymore paperclips.... It was funny now that I know I'm an ADHDer, but before it would have made me go into a tailspin of feeling like a freak of nature & a failure. All over a silly little paperclip. It is a huge thing. I once was putting groceries away & had my car keys in my hand & put the keys in my freezer. It took me hours to retrace my steps to find my keys. I have C-PTSD as well & after years of being in therapy to overcome my anxieties, night terrors, & flashbacks of C-PTSD... was when my ADHD was able to be diagnosed. It is truly tiring to try to be a neurotypical person. Hints to my pain last summer.
Read into RSD. My son was diagnosed and then after reading so much literature, I'm pretty sure I have it too. I've always been spacey and it's made my life really difficult and I've had to overcome a lot of negative feelings due to my struggles. Wishing you the best.
@@eileendoherty2836 my doctor started with me 5mg of Adderall when I was 1st diagnosed which helped, but he wanted to try 10mg for me cause I couldn't focus to even read a page of any of my textbooks. He said I could probably go up, but I like this dosage. The problem is caffeine never effected me before (which is because it doesn't effect ADHDers) but if I drink it too late my sleep cycle is off now. They were so right about mindfulness though. I took a class in my 1st semester back to school, at 36, on mindfulness.... so so so helped with focus & helped with my hyperfixation. I still need to practice it better, but truly helped.
@@eileendoherty2836 oh yeah... I am just on Adderall now... I was on antidepressants, but they just made me gain weight & be exhausted all the time. Of course different meds work for different people. But it has helped me a lot.
Thank you for this video! I’m going to talk with the school counselor tomorrow about the possibility of me having adhd because I’m having a hard time in college. After being dismissed by my ex psychiatrist and convincing me that’s it’s all in my head, I became scared of approaching professionals. I know my problems and I want to try again getting a diagnosis. Hopefully someone finally listens.
Having a big calender and the whole month each day from above to down have made a big change in my life. Its by my bed so its the last thing I see before sleep. Im really strickt on writing things down right away to(thats hard). But its a coping skill I try to learn others since it has helped me alot.And also put everyting in the same place!
I'm so glad I came across this. My son was diagnosed with ADD as a child and was on different medications for it. He seems to have learned how to cope as an adult, although I still see hints of it occasionally. But after watching this video, I realize that I probably have it as well! Every single one of these points brings a very loud bell for me.
I just found this video and it really resonates with me. All 4 of us in our family have ADHD and are on Adderall. There is a nationwide shortage of it which is causing me great grief. First off, having to go see the doctor every three months for scripts, calling monthly to get the script filled, and remembering to stop and pick it up are all DIFFICULT tasks for someone with ADHD! Now with the shortage and having to call a dozen (yes, two days ago I called 12 pharmacies and was finally able to get scripts for two of us filled but at two different pharmacies) places to see who had it in stock. Sigh. I know I can’t complain to anyone since no one else I know has to deal with this, so I’m taking opportunity to express my frustration here. 😏 That’s all. Just sharing one struggles.
Not long after my ADHD diagnosis came my autism diagnosis. There’s a whole generation of late diagnosis autistic adults (especially women who are more likely to go undiagnosed with ADHD and autism) who have fallen through the cracks and struggle to get adequate treatment in a health care system where specialists are scarce and usually work with children.
I was diagnosed with autism and adhd this year at 33. I’ve met a lot of people with stories like this. We have such high social demands even as children and we learn to mask, so any deficiencies are seen as laziness and not as something we need help with.
Hi there. May I know what lead to the late Autism diagnosis? Since some ADHD symptoms are so similar (not the same) to Autism symptoms, I'm curious bout the differences.
Yes! I remember when talking about ADHD become a bigger thing. My mom always said that’s not real that kid needs their a$$ beat. Me at 38 realizing I have ADHD and making the connections to me getting whooped often when I wasn’t trying to misbehave. I was just forgetful and I focused from my adhd. I got punished for poor grades when I couldn’t focus in class. The. I grew up thinking it was my fault I’m not successful in life .
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
Yeah the last point is really something. I'm very good at solving complex problems but then again I once nearly put water into the filter and coffee grounds into the water tank after autopiloting out of bed towards the kitchen like I do every morning. Meditation has really helped me a lot. And doing some exercise as well.
I feel so validated right now. I have struggled with adhd since childhood. I was in special Ed as a teen, but did not have a proper diagnosis. My special Ed teacher would get so frustrated with me over my “disorganization, lack of focus, failure to complete tasks”, etc. She would yell at me “How are you always looking so cute and put together, but your locker and backpack are always so cluttered!?” As an adult I have been able to implement strategies to help me with coping. I finally began medication and feel like an almost normal person. I still avoid tedious tasks to the point of self-sabotage, but I manage. Having adhd does require me to work twice as hard as someone else to achieve the same level of accomplishments. Even though it is challenging, I am okay with my diagnosis because when I feel interested in something, I am able to hyper focus on it until I master it. I taught myself how to cook from cookbooks and the internet. Now I can prepare gourmet meals from scratch!
I have every single one of these symptoms. I have not been to a psychologist. But what has helped me the past four months with all of these issues is having my nutrition OnPoint getting proper sleep in and exercising regularly
This is the best description of my behavior I’ve ever read. Thank you for providing this information. I’ve probably avoided tackling this due to my inattentive adhd lol.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and I suspect my daughter suffers same condition. I started to correct some behaviours in day to day routine but still proscrastinate some tasks. It's a daily struggle indeed. People around us don't understand this condition and are judgemental. It sucks
I relate to just about everything. Trying to get through a work day is exhausting in itself forever losing things, easily distracted. Always absent minded even though your constantly trying to be in the moment. Working 10x times harder than most to seem like a normal organized, responsible adult is exhausting in every way!! It's quite demoralizing having people say they relate to a few things & conclude they're ADHD when actually it effects every aspect of your life not just a few symptoms. Concluding your just like everyone struggling or just lazy is someone who will never understand what it's truly like until you've lived it.
Guys remember (or try to remember) you’ve come a long way, especially if you went diagnosed until adulthood. I felt like I was being punished for past life sins, it was like living in a nightmare.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was almost 45 years old. My mom used to tell me I would lose my butt if it wasn't attached. Everything you just asked about resonates with me. Thank God for my meds.
please help me answer one question i will be very glad, when you sometimes miss place items , do you remember when you find them , that oh I placed it here, or you be like how this thing end up here, sometimes it happens that i don't remember how i place this item here first place ?
I misplace my glasses but I have 4 pair so it’s no big deal. I always find the lost pair which has been laid in a different place where I usually put them.
I have around 10 pairs, and until recently I was lucky is I knew where 1 pair was. My daughter created a glasses box and put it in the living room. Now, when anyone finds a pair of my glasses they go in the box. I think there are about 6 pairs in there at the moment
Yes yes and yes. But ADHD is also my superpower. I can get a whole crew of linear thinkers excited about a new project. Great team player, inclusive, and big picture thinker!! If you surround yourself with people who love organizing and scheduling things, then things go a bit smoother. Both of the speakers here are amazing and do a great job in teasing out nuances. Mindfulness, nutrition, coaching, organization routines, sticky notes, medication and daily exercise are keys to survival. As a special education teacher, i have seen medication do nothing for one student and a miracle for the next, so if youre recently disgnosed, go into the conversation with an open mind and try all of it! … uhm, in a well organized, methodical and clinical way. Also dont judge yourself and dont hang around judgy people.
Are u currently medicated for ADHD? If so, the medication would be the reason for this superpower, not your ADHD. ADHD meds are no different than meth or cocaine..
I suffered severe depression and mental disorder several years ago. Was actually diagnosed with ADHD. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
I was horrifically depressed since childhood. It was relentless. I assumed it would ultimately end me somehow. About twelve years ago I randomly accepted the offer from a friend of a few doses of mushrooms. I did them two consecutive nights alone. First night was pretty mild. The second night? Wow. I saw my depression from every angle, realized much. Next day: depression totally gone. Never came back, never coming back. It's like it's a forest far away I can remember, and could probably find again with enough effort, but it has zero impact on anything in my life or mind. They honestly saved my life and improved it immensely. I never did them again, either. I wish there was a good, organized way to administer them to people who would benefit from them.
For me 1. Carelessness & no attention to detail - attention to a detail that has grabbed me is good. Attention to other details is part of the "big picture" which I don't do well. 2. Difficulty sustaining attention - very much so, and closely related to point 8. Best way I can describe my brain is like a pin ball machine. 3. Doesn't seem to listen - yep. Because once I get into thinking about something, distracting with speaking to me messes up the attention I have actually managed to get into. 4. No follow-through on tasks/instructions - happens when the follow through is in effect another task. 5. Poor organization - certainly. If I plan, I find so many things to include int he plan I land up planning myself into inaction. 6. Avoids tasks with sustained mental effort - yes, as the last thing I want is more half done things around. 7. Loses things needed for important activities - all the time if they are not where I would expect them. I lost some motorcycle keys for 15 years! 8. Easily distracted by unrelated thoughts - all the time. I will be talking to someone while trying to move my head so objects on the shelf behind them are in line in my visions, or their ears are lined up with something, etc. 9. Forgetful with daily activities - yes, but probably mostly following on from points 2 and 8.
Unmentioned is the possibility of childhood discord and personal disruption affecting ADHD. I survived a home where my parents were constantly arguing, my brother flunking and the usual parental response to (mostly imagined) infractions was violence (Esp. the belt from my old man). My ignorant parents would go to the doctors and specialists concerned about what was wrong with me, that I didn't hear or the horrible possibility that I may be "retarded". The real problem likely is when there is regular loud argument accompanying with physical mistreatment would make any human to "tune out". Why should one pay attention to what is going on when there is violent behavior and discord? One turns off to turn off the horror.
moving out of my parents' place and then visiting them later made me realize just how much they bicker and how it immediately causes me to dissociate. I do think sometimes people develop ADHD as a stress response, chasing escapism and wandering thoughts trying to ignore the reality around them until it becomes the natural state.
@@NiJo826dang that’s actually eye opening. My parents bicker all day everyday. I always thought it allowed me to better tune out my surroundings and not listen
Part of me losing things is not seeing things that are there. I can look on a shelf for something and not see it, I spend so much time looking for things that were in the first place I looked but was distracted by seeing other things.
My remedy for that is “do the next thing”. Don’t lock in on searching for your keys, just pick up the shoes you want to wear and the next time you gaze hits the hallway table, you will be able to recognize your keys.
II’ve always struggled keeping engaged with a long conversation or in school. It’s very exhausting physically and mentally for me. I also have to have CC on tv that forces me to read and I also rewind a lot because I zoned out. Family always thought I was bored listening to them or being selfish. It’s not intentional, it’s a struggle! Please do more talks on this subject and thank you!
If you have ADHD, like me, you HAVE to train yourself to make task lists and alarms, get bins to corral up your stuff (makes things appear tidy), keep a strict schedule for eating, exercising and completing boring tasks. The schedule keeps you in line 😊
I just bought 18 boxes from ikea so I can store my mess and then stuff will look 'tidy'......I have so many lists just to be able to remember what I was planning to do the following day....a schedule for boring tasks just doesnt work for me, I'll always justify a reason to not do the boring stuff until I have absolutely no choice but to do it. I have a friend due to come over for a board game tomorrow, I already know I'm gonna bail on that, but it's fine because I know that she has just as many issues as me. Today I had to go out and do stuff (ikea etc) and it was horrendous. I loathe going out to do stuff on a weekend, there are far too many people around and far too much noise going on.
@@lilgit9969 i probably have 1,000 lbs of lined paper of To-Do lists in my room, nevermind all the ones ive erased from my whiteboard over the years lol
I am not even going to mention making lists! At the beginning of every year I buy a diary and promise myself that I am going to use it. At first I write down my tasks for the day. Those tasks not done are carried forward to the next day. And so on. By March the promise that I made to myself is broken.
Wow I score 9/9 on this list of signs! I’ve long thought I was borderline ADHD and have been paying attention to how that might affect me. But the only tests I’ve seen online were of the sort “Does your life fall apart because of attention problems”, for which my answers were, generally, “no, I manage fine”. Though it is difficult at times.
Sometimes it can depend on the situation. If you work in an area where you can hide it then nowhere near so much of a problem, while another area might be impossible.
9:20 this was really on point. I was dignosed with ADHD at 33, and as a writer reading is crucial for growth. But reading has always been incredibly difficult. I would take ages to get through a book because I would finish a page and realize I had no idea what I just read. Since being diagnosed, and understadning what was happening, I've been able to be more kind and understanding with myself. When it happens I no longer get upset or quit. And the meds have helped it happen less than it used to (I think).
Hi, I have the exact same issues my partner works in mental health and is pretty certain I have ADHD, always forgetting where I put things and always find it incredibly hard to study, feel kind of trapped because I know I have alot of potential, I have been thinking about getting a professional diagnosis but I am very apprehensive, is there any over the counter, medicine I could try that might help?
It would be really interesting to see the comparison between childhood trauma and ADHD symptoms. It seems to me that they overlap in terms of dissociation and intrusive thoughts.
I have heard and read about the correlations between childhood trauma and ADHD, and the cause and effect relationships are a wicked web. But where it's possible to trace backward, the patterns go back generations.
i read something but i cant remember were. for instance if your parents always fight, that would put you in a constant fight and flight and it will make you zone out alot
There's certainly an overlap in childhood trauma symptoms and ADHD symptoms (I noticed this watching another channel's video about childhood trauma symptoms in adults). However, that doesn't necessarily mean they're related. Unrelated conditions can cause similiar symptoms. For example, ASD and STPD have a bunch of overlapping symptoms, but they have different underlying causes. (Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder; Schizotypal is a personality disorder.)
@@jliller my adhd its weird, you could say i have bipolar also, but maybe ita because im over sensitive. I definitely have some ocd. Then the anxiety and depression, and such waste of talent i cant focus on anything
@@ayjie6829 ADHD is often similiar to bipolar in terms of having abnornal emotional highs and lows. The big difference is that bipolar people are high or low for weeks at a time. ADHD can flip the switch every few minutes as their attention shifts. Anxiety and depression are common side effects of ASD, ADHD, and other mental conditions. I have a friend who has both ADHD and OCD. Despite this, she was able to get a master's degree and work in her chosen field.
Regarding losing things, I learned well before I received my ADHD diagnosis to have specific places for things I use most often. However, this doesn’t mean I don’t still ‘lose’ things, occasionally. One time, I came home from getting lunch at a drive-thru, pulled out my debit card to buy something, got distracted by something else, then went to get my debit card and couldn’t find it. I even went so far as to call the restaurant to see if I’d driven off without it. Then I got back to my desk and oh look! There’s my debit card! This is probably just a matter of preference, but I sincerely dislike the use of “absent-minded” when talking about people with ADHD. Our minds aren’t absent, if anything our minds are working even harder than neurotypical minds. In my experience, we’re very aware of what’s going on around us, it’s just that sometimes what we see or hear or interact with will trigger another thought. I don’t have ‘trains’ of thought that follow a single track, I have pinball games of thought with flippers and obstacles and bumpers that send my brain (the ball in this analogy) in different, unpredictable, directions.
I also dislike "absent-minded". My mind isn't absent, it's in 400 different places and it's exhausting! The other one that makes me very defensive is "careless mistakes". I can assure anyone that my daughters and I care very, very much. It is endlessly frustrating to make these mistakes and it's distressing that some people take it as evidence that you aren't taking something seriously, aren't paying attention, or have a poor work ethic. It also makes me angry the way people weaponize the word "lazy" against people with ADHD and invisible conditions.
Also, "losing" things because you don't remember those things exist if don't need them reqularly and they are somewhat hidden. My partner has ADHD. When packing to trip they were complaining things not fitting to their backpack. I came to look and asked why they didn't take their big backpack. "What big backpack?" they asked annoid and confuced. "The one your brother gave you. It is in you closed under your suits."..."Oh, this one! I forgot, I have this." They had had it for months, they had used it multiple times, but it had been in their closet for about 2 months... This is why different organisational strategies, that take this account, are needed for ADHD people. See through bins, clearly defined bigger cathegories etc. I would like to "hide" everything, because I easily remember what I have and where my belongings are. Likely, my partner has less stuff than I have...so I can "hide" my belongings, and accommodate also their needs where needed. :) And still our place is mainly ordered enough for me to not get stressed out.
I just found out I have adhd I kind of knew I did but was ashamed to admit it for many years but it has gotten so bad that it is affecting my life so negatively I finally decided it is time to get help!
I found the rapid fluctuation in motivation level trips me up the most. One minute I have a solid plan to execute and the next I'm like blah, don't care anymore, which also leads to mood swings because the degree of frustration and heartbreak felt on a daily basis is what most people only experience few times I their life. That's likely another reason for the higher suicide rate in our circle. I refuse to call it by the DSM name. That awfully passive aggressive name of the disorder is the cruelest irony.
Instead of ADHD I prefer to call it HARD (Hyperactive Attention-Regulation Disorder). If you also have high-functioning Autism that means you're a HARD Asp.
I'm an older woman with ADHD and I always lose things! It drives me crazy. I'll lose keys, glasses, money, important papers, you name it, it's gone. I've found different of helping me with this, but it still happens all the time. I'm seeing a doctor after taking some diagnostic tests at my local mental health office. I'm considering medication if it's an option because if it helps me be more organized and focused, life would be so much better!
I am in the process of getting an assessment myself but there’s a long waiting list. I have heard so many positive things about medication that I m am all for it if it helps me be even slightly more organised! I’m a mom of two and I’m drowning in appointments and expectations I’m no longer keeping my head above water (I feel like I’ve been doggy paddling trying to keep up with life) at this point. I sent my partner off to a dr. Appointment with my daughter a week early. I missed the actual appointment. I missed events at the school. I feel guilty anc like a failure but there’s too much stuff to remember and despite my efforts I can never keep a diary. And even when I do I still manage to f up somewhere! Best of luck for your treatment I hope you get to where you want to be and I hope I do even if it’s a year or so down the road..
@@homerogarza3060 I've been going through this since I was in my 20s. I've often wondered why I get like this. I'm not so old that I should have forgetfulness related to old age.
before considering medication, train yourself to always put the keys right next to the door on a special hook, buy a bunch of cheap reading glasses in the drug store and put them everywhere, put your wallet always in this one purse and put it right back there every time you take it out, put all your important papers in one drawer only. You can do it! I’m 67 now and trained myself about 15 years ago to do that and hours of frustration melted away from every day, leaving room for the appreciation of all the extraordinary things I achieve that people without ADD could never dream of.
9/9 Not very hidden if you're looking. Work is hell, constantly relearning things I forgot. Making people angry when I ask for another explanation. Angry that I can't start a project on time "what have you been doing all this time". No matter how many times I get in trouble and hate myself I STILL can't do things on time. Being exhausted from working so hard with nothing to show for it. Getting burnt out quicker than others that are producing more and judged for needing breaks.
...did you copy my homework? pretty sure those are my thoughts and I would like to know how you got them out of my brain. I can't even get thoughts out of my brain.
I was diagnosed at age 61. The smoldering wreckage that was my life now had a legitimate reason. Adderall is nothing short of a miracle, and I am so grateful to know it now so I can make the best of what's ahead. Thanks for a great video.
We are posting part 2 of this video - ADHD hyperactive/impulsive type in adulthood - this week! (Subscribe so you don't miss it)
Mr. Kittleson, I'm genuinely insecure on how to ask this in any appropriate manner and without triggering anything. But..... I'm used to follow my intuition even to the difficult places, so here we go:
Are yoh alright? Are you struggling at the moment?
It's just a relatively short video and it could be anything or nothing. I just.... Idk.... are you self-caring enough? The best way I can describe my perception is that I'm trying to address something internally perceivable rather than externally visible.
I'm just a stanger. I'm not here for answers. I asked a question and if that opens something for you, then please by all means understand this as an invitation to pick it up explore it in your safe (social) space of choice.
Best wishes to you.
iv always assumed .. after research.. that i was narsissitic with both other traits, based on my emotional level. im at about a 2. i can be a zeo if i want or a 10. so manic or grandeous. um been diagnosed with depression.. not me. split personalities, sure but their just me myself and i in my head. im not easilly distracted. only if i allow it, i go off like you have no idea. i am the multitasker, i have no issues ive ficxed all that... moving on... nooe..
move on
nope
seriousl;y im waiting for her to move on its bornig
Eee
You guys are so helpful putting this out there, but it's definitely not all negative 💞.
@@pawpad6375 😃😃👍👍👍👍🌟.
The worst part about my ADD is whenever someone is giving me a series of instructions to follow. I'll be focusing as hard as I can on what they're saying, but half the information just doesn't stick. It's as if the words just vanish a second after it leaves their mouths. Then I'm hit with a huge anxiety spike which makes the situation even worse.
Right?!
No matter how intently I listen to someone, I will still manage to either forget or completely misremember what was said and I end up looking like a fool because I remember the stuff wrong lol
That’s why I request written instructions only
To me it's like the person speaking is talking another language I cannot understand. I did not realize it was such a problem until a supervisor I had yelled at me for having to give me the same instructions six times.
This is why I hate asking for directions or instructions if they can't be written down. Verbally communicating that information to me is completely pointless because it bounces straight back out of my earholes. :(
I’m the same way..
I have ADHD. My former employer knew of the disability because it was documented and HR had record of it. I was fired from this job because although I had job modifications, I was constantly getting reprimanded and written up. After several write ups, they made up,other reasons to terminate my employment. I sued them. I won.
Good for you. People really do need to become more tolerant
Wow, Congrats and good for you!
Wow congrats so happy for you.🙏💛💐I'm so sorry you went through that.
Good for you
Go you!!
The world needs to learn that everyone has a different way of being, and we should allow people an environment that allows them to thrive the best they can...
As someone with ADHD, I have excellent organizational skills and rarely misplace my car keys because I put them in the same spot every time I get home. The only reason why I don't lose my car keys is because, in the past, I always lost my keys (as an example).
I think that ADHD is hard to diagnose in some people because they have good coping skills that masks the negative behavioral traits.
Absolutely. We go through life MacGyvering our reactions and responses to certain problems and sometimes they become tidy habits that work in our favour.
Also have friends who clearly have symptoms but also generally function very well and are only mildly inconvenienced.
I think the issue is that people treat it as a behavioral disorder (aka "abnormal" external behavior) when it's really a neurological difference (aka an internal way of functioning).
I don't forget appointments or lose track of time to get there because I have my calendar send me an email 2 days ahead, then 1 day, then 2 hrs and 1 hr. It has to be email since I won't notice the notification icon. THEN, I set my alarm. Depending on the distance it may be set to 1hr, or 45 min for a distance of half hour. Etc etc etc. Like you said, learned coping skills.
Yes!!! Spent most of my childhood and young adult life working out coping and strategies to manage these traits. I still take inordinate about of time to target a task and complete even when focusing. My brain feels disorganized so I keep using tactics like short breaks, chunking and giving myself a whole week to complete an assignment which most her do in a few days
I was thinking this, I'm going to speak to my doctor about a ADHD diagnosis, and I remember being so forgetful and losing so much necessities in the past, but the way I cope with it is just leaving them in pockets, and when I'm out I'm CONSTANTLY checking my pockets over and over again
After reading some of these comments , I feel blessed. Both my son and I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. After speaking with the doctor, we realized that my wife has been setting up systems for us to follow. She has setup Calendars, Alarms, task list, provides verbal reminders, organized common areas for our benefit, labeled everything in out house, and the list goes on. Basically all the things I read that will make life easier, but I know would never get completed or stuck with if it was left up to me. We are truly lucky to have her in our lives!
I'd say she's an angel sent just for you. Appreciate what you've been blessed with. But, don't forget She also has needs in her life, that maybe only you can fulfill.
Just saying, I'm a victim & caretaker. 😂
That's so nice.
You hold on tight to that woman; she is one of a kind.
I am that wife/mother and I worry that I've been enabling my family members to their detriment. Now I'm trying to coach them to take over some of their own life tasks. It's been exhausting and overwhelming for me to be on top of their life details as well as my own and has contributed to my own anxiety.
@emmennyce shared calendars help us a lot. She verbal reminds us to add our events to the calendar but also makes sure we do it. She did the calendar at first and then started having us do it. We still miss things when I don't add an event right away and the person only told me. For my son we contacted his teachers and requested a syllabus for the classes and my wife had him add all the events into the calendar with reminders. This also helps to complete sections of school work of a big project instead of waiting to do the whole project the night before.
My wife does the labeling but she likes it because she gets to use her vinyl cutter. This helps us quickly tidy up and makes the task less overwhelming. This one has helped her too.
Just know, even if we don't say it, you are very much appreciated.
I think something we don’t talk about enough with ADHD is intellectual exhaustion. For instance, a days work makes my brain exhausted, because it’s a constant struggle to focus, I have NOTHING LEFT at the end of the workday. It is exhausting to do the same amount of work as a Neuro typical person can do and still have energy left over at the end of the day.
yes! This goes with autism too and if you havent heard of it I'd look up spoon theory. I am struggling now to work out a job that doesnt use all of my energy so that I cant even take care of myself and do anything but work.
Siberian Ginseng and other stress herbs, and a diet strong in protein may help ground a person and give endurance and adaptability to stressful times.
Yes! Being in an office 9-5 my brain was SHOT afterwards. I couldn't cope with anything after. Enter WFH and the energy is way different
Omg this!!!! You wrote it down sooo good! Thank you!
I'm going to show my parter this! I always wondered how and why he after a whole week of work, can find the energy for cooking and cleaning!? Like he has endless energy!!! Good for him but I can't!
@@PieSwagoras WHF?
We get easily BORED… that’s what my biggest issue can be in regard to having to stick to routines. And yet, structure is critical. I crave organization and structure, but have extreme difficulty creating it for myself.
Routines are A and O for ADHD but at the same time, they are a curse cuz they are so utterly boring! We are expert at making stupid reasons to delay stuff and routines is in the way XD
I used to think I never got bored, because only boring people got bored. That is until one day I realised that I was in fact bored all the time, or at least most of it.
Yes 💯
@@stewartkingsley YES! I came to the same realization myself! 😛
Your last sentence resonates with me. Ive fixated on creating systems that could help me. Planners. Reminders. Notifications. Ive dabbled on digital and analog. And what works for me is buddy system. But my conscience tells me that im bother other people, im being dependent and clingy and selfish. And also my own willfullness makes it that im irritated when my notifications disturb me instead of treating as a good intervention when im fixating on one task or have no energy nor motivation to push thru with maintaining a routine i made to help myself
A funny ADHD story… my husband has it and it has always been difficult being married to him because he loses everything. I came up with a solution and placed a basket next to the door so he could put all his important daily things in it: his keys, phone, wallet, etc. so, one day we are leaving and he looked confused. I asked him what was wrong and he said he couldn’t find the keys. I told him to look in the basket to which he replied, “Yup, I’ve misplaced the basket.”
I have "spots" for everything, and I've had to work hard to make it a habit to put things in their correct spots around the house. My phone, for example, only gets laid down in certain places. If I start to lay it down in a weird place, I pause and think if I'll forget later, and then either put it in a "correct" spot or out in the open so it's obvious to find. I still have to recruit hubs to help me find it sometimes, but the system more or less works. Growing up, my dad always kept his pants for the next day on a chair in his bathroom. Anything he needed for the next day went on those pants. I adopted the same routine, except with my purse. My purse stays next to the door. The first thing I do walking in is set my purse down. If I need something for the next day, I immediately put it on my purse, or I will forget and walk out the door without the thing. Keeping up with all the things can be SO exhausting!
People lose and misplace things everyday doesn't mean they have ADHD
@@swolfe9668 Obviously it's more than just losing things. Sometimes a person will just talk about one aspect. Doesn't mean they *don't* have ADHD.
Thats called a Tuesday at my house. God bless my fabulous wife.
😂😂😂
All you said all the time. SEVERE ADHD and we constantly interrupt people no matter how hard I try. Strummin' my life with your words. Mindfulness is a conscious effort and focusing is our problem. IT IS HARD. AND, WE ARE SOME OF THE MOST INTELLIGENT PEOPLE AROUND. THANKS.
I get into a lot of trouble because of this. I tend to interrupt a person because I'm so excited to share my thoughts and I feel like I can't hold my thought for much longer or I'll lose it and oftentimes I do when I'm able to get holdnof myself of not interrupting another person. Even when I'm already talking I lost my train of thought often and I forgot what I was trying to point at.
In any serious discussion I warn the people i am talking to interruptions might happen and the reason why. They accept this, laugh and we move on!
Wow another symptom …. I did not know this was a symptom of ADHD….. my minds been blown 🤯 reading this thread
Thank you so much! One of the most disheartening things about having ADHD is that people don’t believe you are actually trying your best. 💔
I believe you are.❤
Thank you! ❤️I do, it’s important for me.
oh my god yes! prior to me being diagnosed with adhd, I actually was heading into depression.
@@persona5305 I know what you mean. I have a story to tell you but I’m pretty tired right now so I’ll come back to this.
And the constant advice on how to do things😔
The most painful overlooked symptom is being socially unaware and missing social cues which end up offending people which in turn alienates friends and potential partners because they don’t understand and think the person with ADHD is just being obnoxious/ thoughtless/ self obsessed.
This is how I feel too.
Also shared with ASD
That's a more difficult one because, from personal experiences, having ADHD and being, for lack of a better word, a bit of an asshole, are not directly correlated. It's one thing to occasionally say an offensive thing (we ALL do that from time to time) and it's a whole other thing to say something more consciously harmful, and not understand and apologise when people react accordingly. I also think most people with ADHD that I've ever met have been highly social and thoroughly pleasant creatures, and what you're describing would not be part of my own ADHD identifiers.
What you might actually be talking about is the overlap between ADHD and ASD. they were previously considered mutually exclusive but it's now increasingly regarded as part of the same spectrum. What you're talking about is absolutely textbook ASD, and I think not widely associated with ADHD.
Yes Melissa , being quite old now I tried to control my reactions ,but sometimes the button is pressed and kaput
Yes 😢 constantly being told I’m so shy but also a real dark horse when people get to know me. I don’t mean to be rude and annoying.
The hardest part about ADHD for me is feeling like I’m CONSTANTLY doing every task twice. Like everything I touch, I end up getting distracted, or losing part of the task, and having to circle right back to it again a few minutes later.
“If I go downstairs for the laundry, I’ll grab the vacuum too!” And than I only get the vacuum, when the laundry was the main task, and now I have to go back to get the laundry.
“Oh I’ll grab a cup of water from the kitchen and I’ll also switch off the light while I’m there!” And then I end up only switching off the light and realizing I need to get back up to get my cup of water.
It’s exhausting!!
Literally brings me to tears
You could be describing my daily routine! I so relate to this symptom. It also causes friction in my relationship, because he just doesn't understand why I can't complete one simple, single task or how I let things get so disorganized & "messy" to the EXTREME.
@@roncj6937Yeah, no. Stop spreading misinformation
@@alienvomitsex Dummy
@@alienvomitsex You have no idea of what is been discussed so go and do a little research on ADHD and then I will not call you a Dummy lol.
Im a dentist, a root canal specialist and i feel i definitely have add. Im completely focused when im treating someone but when ever i talk to someone i am never attentive, im lost in my thoughts, day dreaming. I have to ask people to repeat what they just told me.
It's a love issue. Selfish ambition creates disorder. Love for God and others produces order. Wisdom.
@@James-q4x9fBecause someone went to school worked hard and is successful that’s selfish ambition? What a horrible remark when a person leaves themself vulnerable to share. A selfless person shares their struggles , a selfish person uses it against them 🧐. This response from you is enough for certain people to crawl into a shell and not share again. That’s also known as a bully. Quite clear you know nothing of love ,wisdom nor God …. That was un Godly.
@@nanachamps I'm a fellow struggler brother. We are more depraved than we know. My intent was not to beat you up or be a bully, I was just being direct and concise. I'm sorry for offending you. At least consider the Biblical perspective that we are more deceived and needy of God's Spirit than we know.
They mentioned people with ADHD working harder just to keep up or appear normal. I am a teacher and am often one of the last people to leave my office because it takes me so much longer to complete the work necessary for my job. I have to read my to do list over and over just to stay on task. I finally started meds and am so happy to be able to do a good job and finish on time. It's amazing.
I taught for 15 years and struggled with ADHD the entire time. I had to work twice as hard as every other teacher. I was a the first teacher to arrive at school, sometimes as early as 5 am and always there by 6 am. I was an excellent teacher who could hide my adhd. My early career I had 2 preps to teach and the last 5 years I was able to teach only 1 prep. Other teachers could not understand why I loved teaching one course all year because it would bore them. They had no idea that fewer courses offered me a bit more level of concentration. I was always very disorganized, forgetful of what students would say to me during and after class and would even forget the scheduled faculty meetings. So I wouldn’t forget parent meetings I would always write myself a big note that I couldn’t miss. I always forgot to take attendance and just made it up from memory at the end of the day. Then I decided to make a responsible student take attendance for me in each class. All the while no one knew I had it except me. I’m left teaching and went into a type of business that would accommodate my adhd and was much happier. I always missed the kids though. I just retired and I always refused to take meds. Maybe I should have. I know what what you’ve gone through. I’m 62 and just retired a month ago. I am and always will be a scatter brain but I’ve learned to embrace it.
@@Workingcockers I teach band and used to forget stuff kids tell me all the time. Now, I use my phone to set alarms to remind me. Otherwise, I forget to get new reeds for weeks at a time, forget instrument repair, etc. It took me years to learn to consistently use a written lesson planner, though it helps. I was lucky though, I had years of assisting other band directors to help me figure stuff out before it was all on me. I started volunteering at an elementary school when I was in high school. I didn't finish my credential for 12 years after that. Can you guess why it took so long? 😂
I completely understand that! I would stay working evening at school working on report cards before the janitors left to be able to have a quiet environment with a big chunk of time ( 6 hours a night) to accomplish that week what other colleagues complete in a few days. I know that now and just have to allocate that additional time
@@Workingcockerswhat kind of business did u go into that made it easier with adhd?
@@Cutiejuliya i was a power washing contractor in Virginia for 25 years. I hired an office manager so I just had to go out and do the work with my crew. I sold that business. I have been training dogs for myself for competitions so I started an obedience dog training business. Dogs keep me focused.
I was diagnosed last year the week I turned 60. I suspected that I might have had ADHD as a kid (long before anyone was diagnosing it), but then I dismissed it because I thought I was too lethargic to have this disorder. Then I saw that one of the hidden symptoms in adults is fatigue. I think a big part of the crushing exhaustion I was feeling (greatly exacerbated by a period of unrelenting stress on many fronts that precipitated my diagnosis) came from my brain working like a pinball machine all day, trying to get dopamine, trying to recover after interruptions (a big issue with adult ADHD, I think), trying to corral my thoughts, etc. Attempting to excel in today's overstimulating fast-paced world within this framework and failing then leads to frustration and depression... which only causes more fatigue.
Yes, you did have it as a child. It‘s a necessary requirement for the diagnosis that the symptoms were present when you were younger. That doesn’t mean that you must have been diagnosed as a child. Especially when you‘re older (because the disorder was not well-known when you were young) or when you don‘t have the inattentive type without hyperactivity or when you‘re intelligent enough to be able to compensate and don‘t have problems in school it might not have been diagnosed as a kid. All the best for you!
I love that you described yourself whirling around like a pinball machine. It was a perfect simile and choice of words . Another challenge for us is INTERRUPTIONS which have become too constant with these annoying telemarketers and nuisance private health insurance companies that want to privatize Medicare with medicare rewards . I work at home and must answer work calls . I’ve even written too my US Senator Bobby Casey For a reprieve from these nuisance health insurance agents .
Thank you for this I'm nearly 50 this gave me hope 🙏💛✨🌻
Being 60 myself, I can totally completely relate. I was diagnosed with adhd when my son was diagnosed with add in 2 nd grade. It’s a nightmare. Can’t wait for an all natural cure!!! 🙏🏻 by the way I took rx drugs for it when my son took the same or similar drugs while he’s in school. He’s an adult now still takes those awful addicting drugs, while I only did for a few months off and on for a year or two, then dropped them completely. Bad side effects for me anyway.
Thank you, Patricia. You've described my adult life in detail, and I'm now 61.
I'd love to see a psychiatrist, but every one I've looked into says, "We are not accepting new patients with primary insurance. Uninsured patients pay $500 for their first visit and $250 for each following visit." And then I start feeling utterly betrayed by the entire medical community and give up.
Keep trying!
Ditto but figured it out. Took me a long while but worth it. Try, try, try. Let me know if you want me to look into something for you too. Happy to try and help if I can.
Where are my diagnosed ADHD folks who had to rewind this like 5 times because you were doing something else and forgot to pay attention 😂
I kept rewinding because I was too busy reading the comment section lol
@@MrEcko3351Sadly me too. Im easily distracted.
😂
😂😂
This was SPOT ON!!! Y’all explained the symptoms perfectly. I was diagnosed in 2016 and I did hear “stop procrastinating” or “you’re being lazy” or “I’ve asked you 5 times and it’s been 3 weeks and it’s still not done”, but it’s quite literally out of sight out of mind and needing the circumstances to be just right to complete a task. ADHD is not “Oops, I misplaced my car keys. I’m so ADHD today”. It’s a constant struggle I deal with. I have breakdowns where I just can’t handle it anymore and I need help doing tasks any adult should be able to do like, call people back, remember where I put things down on the counter when I’m cooking, or cleaning up and showering. It’s a debilitating brain fog and it makes me seem less than and not as smart. Now I’m sad. 😞
I hear you so clearly, you've described how I feel every day‼️
Hang in there. We are differently wired. Do some research on not caring what other people think of you. There are some great (and funny) books out there that are eye openers. I think of myself as someone with a physical disability. If you have a limp caused by a bad knee, birth defect, or injury, you know you can't run as fast as other people. You certainly aren't going to try out for the olympics. It doesn't make us less as people. Each of us is the total of our capabilities and limitations.
You'd think of ways to help you deal with the limp. I'm working on ways to help me deal with the executive dysfunction. It's a challenge. It's exhausting. But I know I'm not "less than." I'm just not an Olympian. :)
I have started taking a strong multi- B vitamins capsule. I am more upbeat and I have less brain fog.
yeah uh..me too! My mom tells me apply myself even though I am, when I tell her that she says I'm not and gets angry when I really am! One time I told her it could because I might have adhd, and she told me that I was using it as a excuse. She looks annoyed n exhausted when i tell her I forgot my mask, she yells when I tell her that I forgot to do something she told me to do multiple times. It defidentally is out of sight out of mind, because even though multiple times I remember what I have to do, it immediately gets replaced with some other thought, or I forget what I just remembered AGAIN. I'm a kid but im old enough to understand and comprehend like other kids, so my mom gets confused and paranoid when I scream and breakdown when she drops my toys, or when I ask her a question for the fifth time that day. And also, sometimes there's a loop where she tells me something, I leave, and come back and ask her what she said again. It eventually ends up where she just does it herself. I forget to call people back too, and might put my phone on silent when my mom is gone just for her to come back and yell at me worried about why I didn't listen. I can't even turn the knob on doors or the sink and bathtub sometimes. If I'm looking for something, I could be looking for it for hours just for my mom or me to see that what i was looking for is right there the whole time. I cry out of nowhere in a conversation, and it ends up where my mom is yelling at me to tell her what's wrong as if it's gonna help or snap me back to reality. I might tell my mom that I want this, and when she gives it to me, I don't remember why she did, and or I didn't actually ask for this, when I did and I just didnt tell her what I really wanted or forgot. It hurtsalot especially when my mom admits she doesn't know how to take care of me and my sibling because we have problems she's not equipped for. have a nice day!
@@NIGHTBLOODUSAGI I can really feel for you. My entire life has been like this. My whole childhood I was called the absent-minded professor and told I was like a chicken running around with my head cut off and that I would lose my head if it weren't attached. I was called lazy and undisciplined. I didn't figure out any of it until I was really old.
I know this is painful for you right now, but I want to tell you how good it is that you are recognizing these symptoms in yourself. That is really astute of you. Your mother may not get it, and there are lots of people out there telling parents that ADHD doesn't exist or that it's being used as an excuse. It's not. I hope for you that you get the support you need. Maybe you can do some research online and find some articles for your mother to read.
In the meantime, hang in there and try and find methods to help yourself as much as possible. It takes time to set up routines that will help you remember what it is you need to do. You're not going to be successful all the time. And that's okay. Start having patience with yourself, and when your mother doesn't get it, just keep reminding yourself that she doesn't understand and hasn't been educated about this.
If you can't get the help that you need right now, make it part of your life plan to figure this out as you get into adulthood.
In the meantime do some research on your own behalf about techniques that will help you every day. If you have a cell phone or a tablet, use your calendar and your alarm and your reminders for everything.
For some things I have double reminders that my phone notifies me about so I can get something done, because I will forget it if the reminder isn't there. For instance, if I have to go somewhere I will put it in my calendar, but I'll also put another entry in my calendar an hour before it that says get ready to go to this place. If I don't, I'll be late and forget the things I have to bring.
To deal with neurodivergence, you have to drop being a perfectionist. Go for 80% or 85% accuracy and success. Just accept the fact that you're going to mess up sometimes, and don't be hard on yourself when you do.
Life finally got so much easier for me when I decided that I would have to live it at my own pace, and if I got distracted by 10 different things before I got one done, then that would just have to be okay. Learning to laugh about yourself is helpful, too. Good luck.
Sometimes I think we don't have words to describe how ADHD feels like. "I can't make myself to clean the flat" and then you get the answer: "Yeah, I hate that too." And this is true but I really can't get myself to do it. There is something in my brain that just don't allow me to do that. Or a lack of something that should allow me to do that.
I am married, for 50 years,, to someone with ADHD Inattentiveness, And I also think maybe a little asburgers. I have shared a lot of these videos with him and he has gotten treatment on and off over the last 25 years as He was diagnosed when our 15 year old son was Di post. I would love to see a video on how much stress it puts on the partner of the person married to someone with AD.HD. I have seen a few about how to fix the relationship, but it never addresses the fact that it doesn't change all of the past issues, that still keep coming up
@@jonx8887 yeah Just do better. I mean its obvious that we are just lazy right.
I set alarms to break up the cleaning. I also set the alarms at 'off' times. Example: 7:33am Sweep the kitchen / 7:08 am Dump the bathroom Trash / 8:17pm Put in a load of laundry..... I swear this works (granted I also have a shower that reminds me to take a shower BEFORE I have to leave for work lol)
I completely comprehend what you are saying. My brain works the same way and it is frustrating.
@@xXCanadianToastieXxvery interesting ❤
Diagnosed in my late 50s. Then I look back and realized so many things could have been different and better. I also see the ADHD in what I enjoyed when I worked in industry doing Engineering. I realized that my trying to stay organized and routines were all working in my favor to help me stay ahead of the ADHD. For example, I've had a calendar since high school. I only have one thing to work on, on my desk at a time (a real issue with MS Windows....), etc. I also see how hating some tasks and procrastinating, letting things slide until they were urgent, missing on some deadlines, etc., all part of the ADHD. I struggle to initiate tasks where I don't know what I am doing or that I dislike. Sometimes even a phone call is challenge. Wish I would have known earlier.
yeah, even if I do remember, I let them slide till their urgent, multiple times these past few years school stuff like projects or just class work is late because i wait till the last day to turn them in. Or if I'm in extreme pain I forget or just wait till I can't walk anymore. I can't do things without someone enabling me to most of the time and so when it's something where I have little to no xp and I can't get help I fail and or do bad.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 41 after seeking treatment for burnout, anxiety and depression. At first, I didn't want to take medication, so I worked with my therapist on coping techniques for over a year, which helped a little, but I was still struggling most of the time. After a year, she encouraged me to meet with a psychiatrist to talk about medication options, and he recommended a low dose of Concerta which has made a huge difference. The first day I took it, I remember my brain was so quiet. I didn't know how to react without all the intrusive thoughts, and I had no idea how debilitating they were until they weren't there all the time.
This is helpful. I'm also over 40 and always thought I could handle multitasking. But I teach high school and feel like I don't have organization in my classroom and intrusive thoughts fight for priority attention. Does concerta really help with all the things?
Do you have to see a psychiatrist to get Rx for ADHD?
Yea it's like a new brain. Glad your feeling better.
@@shelleycharlesworth5177 A lot of ADHD meds have a low amount of meth in them (purified, not the street version, which is often mixed with other drugs), so it's unlikely you can find something over the counter to help with it.
And yes, meth. For people without ADHD, it would make them high and likely addicted. For people with ADHD, it makes their brain function "normal". Doesn't repair the executive dysfunction and such, I believe, but it temporarily helps improve the issues.
@@noahhopkins4797nothing is a cure all
I work in retail. As an adult with ADHD, it’s been a really good place for me. I used to work as a social work case manager where I was by myself a lot with clients, and struggled to have a consistent schedule and stay up with all the paperwork. I realized the environment wasn’t working for me nor for my ADHD. Having supportive people around me in retail has significantly helped me, especially since I verbalize thoughts a lot to others in order to not ruminate or get too much anxiety.
Interesting! My last job was a nightmare with my ADHD. It made me realize that I have to get into a more ADHD friendly occupation. I was in a state of being hyper vigilant against making mistakes. Literally could not sleep or eat properly. Maybe I will try retail. Thanks for the info, it helps a great deal.
I have ADHD and autism. One day when I was in high school, my mom told me that she had met a classmate of mine, who told her that I came across as snobby, because people would call out to me, but I wouldn't respond to them. I was really stunned when she told me this, because I wasn't aware of any times in which I had ignored people calling out to me. The only thing I can think is that I was lost in my own thoughts and was oblivious to what was going on around me.
I grew up with undiagnosed ADHD and it was hell. I’ve only been diagnosed as of a couple of years ago but instead of taking medication, meditation has helped me be able to focus on one thing at a time when I need to.
Finally reached out to Gp after impulsive speech yet again got me into trouble Theu claimed I had focus issues. I hyperfocus also have difficulty doing multitasking. Told them I think it's adult adhd. They claim they can't support it and ended contract. Everything else fine. Good worker.. Long waiting list for appointment nhs. Is this legal? UK. Even with out an official diagnosis., is this a breach of the Equality Act 2010?
I have been meditating for about 4 months now and I’m amazed how much mindfulness has helped me, especially with not going down “rabbit holes”. I use the 10 percent happier app daily for 10 minutes - highly recommend.
Just diagnosed last year with ADHD and Asperger's, age 68! Ritalin has really helped the ADHD. I am calmer now, can focus better!
I can deal with the Asperger's. I like most of its traits. Not the extreme hypersensitivities!
I absolutely cannot do most meditation strategies, because I have ADHD. Some brief, guided meditations or short breathing exercises are tolerable, but most meditations are far too boring to sustain my interest.
Every time I try to meditate I fall asleep. I've recently been clued into the fact that I get fatigued when I'm understumulated. Same with watching movies- gotta nap in the middle. It's so frustrating, but I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next month for some help.
I'm 47 and have never been diagnosed, but realised a couple of years ago while reading the symptoms of ADHD that it was a checklist of how I was as a kid, and things still struggle with today. When I was a kid ADHD didn't 'exist' and I was constantly called lazy by my frustrated parents which has caused no end of emotional issues for me. I've somehow managed to end up with a decent job but I still have major struggles with focus and especially attention to detail. I miss really obvious things because my brain just wants to speed through everything that I'm not zoned in on (which is most things).
On the other hand, when I'm doing a hobby or something I'm super interested in, I can go all day without eating a meal. It's like falling into a time warp.
I’m 48 and totally relate! Looking at getting diagnosed. Would explain a lot!
I’m 23 and couldn’t relate more. Teachers would literally complain to my mom “I think he has adhd you get him tested” and my mom would not budge. A whole lot of sadness and suffering later and I’ve developed a whole bunch of little methods to help myself but still find myself struggling with things that should be simple. My hope is learning more about adhd will help me understand my childhood better and help me deal with adult life better.
50 and your spot on! It really helps to see I'm not alone out there, appreciate the comment! I somehow managed my way through life undiagnosed. It was difficult at times and was lucky to be surrounded by nice people they had no idea, nor did I, about my differences. I feel so lucky to have a great job and great family. It was my daughter who identified adhd in herself... I admit I was a denier at first but she's opened up a whole new understanding of myself, her, my son and their grandad! I don't think I'll ever bother with an official diagnosis given my age but I know and that's all that matters! Good luck to all you fellow adhd'ers who are seeking help, it will be ok👍
i’m glad you’re getting the support you deserve now! it infuriated me when adults and teachers would assume i’m lazy because i’d zone out all through class or have trouble remembering directions, etc. especially as a kid, it’s like how are you supposed to know?
70 and just realized . My daughter and son have it too. I wish I knew before but it helps!
As an adult with Inattentive ADHD, I hate how the DSM-5 explains our symptoms. It does a really poor job of explaining why we struggle. It's really focused on what can be observed or what other people complain about. I hate that it calls us careless, because we care a lot, probably more than most neurotypicals. Also, I've never encountered an individual with ADHD that is fully "cured". People just learn how to mask better as adults.
Boom spot on. Exactly!
Yes I've also noticed that the DSM-5 doesn't explain the internal mechanics and operating sequences and cycles, in other words, *the internal life* of any mental disorders. That is presumably deliberate. It strictly lays out the _observable_ symptoms of disorders so that someone with not very much insight into the workings of the patient's mind can diagnose disorders.
I think the DSM-5 probably shouldn't be changed. It is what it is. What's needed is a whole new manual created primarily from input from people that have these conditions / disorders and have lived with them for a long time. Specifically the people who have a high level of introspection and can describe what is going on inside them in detail! Several mental health conditions actually enhance this introspective / empathic capability! Eg: Schizoid Personality Disorder, Schizotypal Personality Disorder, possibly ADHD. So that should be harnessed to create something like this, which would provide a lot more insight for mental health professionals and other interested readers.
The DSM-5 is a problem in many ways
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I highly recommend Carol Tuttle’s book ‘it’s just my nature’ the type 1 energy.
This is not a deficit or disorder the medical system and the DSM say it is.
Find your truth.
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@@katiegreenwood8738 If what I have is ADHD, I can tell you it's definitely a disorder and a dysfunction. But probably one that can be greatly improved in some instances with some kind of treatment. It does have positive aspects though.
As an adult with adhd, I constantly forget where I put important things. Panic attacks on losing keys I was literally just holding at the last minute I need to leave happens alot. Even when I consciously set myself up to not fail it can still just happen.
whenever I'm doing a home DIY project, I will lose the tools I'm working with. It's maddening. I can be holding a hammer, set it down, and it will teleport to a different dimension.
@@kevinwhite6176 lol..i know some metaphysical people who that is what is actually happening
😭😭😭😭FEELS FER REALS😭😭😭😭
I completely understand this! When I walk over to where I hang my keys. And they are not there I go into full blown panicccc!
I'd have this issue more if I didn't have a tray I keep the keys in, just inside the door. In fact I've made it such a habit to put my keys there when I get home, I rarely lose them any more. My wife loses hers all the time, which is kinda ironic because she's the one who doesn't have ADHD! LOL
I was just diagnosed as adhd a couple weeks ago and have been on meds for the last 2 weeks. I’m 26, I relate to all of this so much… I always wondered why I was so “stupid” , why I couldn’t just pay attention and focus on what everyone was saying around me, why I couldn’t stay organized and up to date on tasks. I feel so validated after this, it’s a lazy Sunday and didn’t take my meds today and I feel so different today as opposed to yesterday. I think we are still in the process of working on the correct dosage but I’m starting to get help and honestly I’m so excited.
Do the meds help?
@@kaarinashilula2225 Yes they really do, it went from me constantly zoning out during conversations and work meetings and playing catch up afterwards, or being assigned a work task to do X, Y, and Z. and going from wait i know Y but can you repeat X and Z and then , forgetting Y. From sitting in a depressive spiral at home wanting to do so many things but not being able to do anything.
They say the people that don't need medication take advantage of the meds and do a million different things at once and are going 100mph.
For me, I knew i needed it when i started paying attention in conversations, feeling like i could participate, remembering work tasks long enough to at least write them down and organize them, and get my laundry done on sundays. When the hardest day to day tasks become manageable and easy.
It's like putting glasses on for the first time and i can actually function like everyone else.
This update is 3 months after my initial comment, my dr and i have figured out the correct dosage for me, I've been told that my performance has significantly improved at work, and I don't falter at the most mundane tasks like i used too.
So what medication are you taking that is working?
Hi
@@maggie1226 WOW! That is so awesome to hear. What meds did they end up putting you on and which kind of dosage? (daily/weekly/etc)
I have been recently diagnosed with Adhd. And it all makes so much sense know. I have had always a hard time remembering things people tell me no matter how much I was trying. Starting and following through with tasks. I always thought maybe I am just dumb. I kept getting fired from jobs, which led to me feeling worthless and being depressed. People often thought I am just not interested in doing my job, but it was just exhausting. I am looking forward to trying out meds.
Hey, have you tried the meds? Are they helping much?
@@fullspeedaheadbarcelona6502 Hey. I would say they do. I currently take Elvanse 50mg daily. It does help with focus and being able to do tasks without being distracted so easily. At the beginning of taking it it made me feel restless and anxious sometimes, but now I'm doing pretty good on it. And also just getting the diagnosis did a lot for me. Knowing that I am not stupid just that my brain works different and not being afraid to ask if you don't get something the first time. What's your story? Do you have ADHD?
Diagnosed with ADHD at 26, 53 now. It's always comforting to hear Dr. Judy and others articulate the challenges I deal with all day every day. But here she says that ADHDers "dislike" detail and "dislike" tasks requiring sustained mental effort, such as paying bills, and that is why they avoid or procrastinate. In my experience, the hangup has nothing to do with like or dislike. It recently occurred to me that what I experience is very similar to my understanding of dyslexia, except that it's with in-the-moment perception of time and process instead of language. I can clearly big-picture imagine the process of paying bills, for example, and it's neither complicated nor time consuming. But when I sit down to do it, it's painfully difficult (sometimes feels impossible) to figure out what to do first, and next, and next. I've even written out step by step instructions for myself, but I'm still slow to figure out how to do each step as I work through. Then what should have taken less than an hour takes a lot of the day, isn't finished before I have to move on to something else, and there are probably mistakes. Of course I don't enjoy that experience, but it is incredibly stressful and frustrating and anxiety-inducing, and that is why I hate to do it and avoid it when I know it needs done. It's much bigger than simply disliking. I dislike scooping the cat boxes too, but it's a simple task. If that doesn't get done when it should, it's because I didn't think of it (out of sight out of mind), not because I dislike it. All my life and sometimes even now, my mom will say "everyone has to do things they don't like". This is so dismissive and deflating. Obviously that isn't Dr. Judy's take, but ascribing the problem to "dislike" misses the point and screams Character Defect to the uninformed.
I can feel the same way about this ❤
We are Terribly bored of doing not interesting tasks and also tasks which we are not confident in not doing good
We wish there is someone who can do it for us, even if we have to pay for it. And maybe we should, if we can afford it. If our loved ones think that thats crazy to have this sort of perspective, then one should learn how to deal with that
@@Marsiovideos Yes as much as I can I try to automate or outsource everything important I'm not good at.
Dislike vs like is very much true. The difficulty of you doing the task turns into a dislike. I hate washing dishes period
So i avoid it at all costs
I've been on a prescribed ADD med since kindergarten. It wasn't easy feeling like I needed a pill or people wouldn't like me. Im 58 now and still bounce through life with laser like focus...on whatever is currently in my field of vision. You forgot to mention the multitude of jobs and literally careers we burn through. And a soulmate? Life partner? I certainly tried so many times I forgot why I tried. I can say that it did take many painful lessons to train my brain to have specific places and/ or leashes for keys, glasses, wallet etc. I may be exhausted or in a rush but I stop and make myself put the important things in their place. One person commented that she never felt so understood. Those are my sentiments as well. I felt compelled to join and comment. Very rare for me.
I quit one job because I could not keep up with the volume of email coming my way. I was so happy when I no longer had to deal with that email account.
I have ADHD too and you know what, it's come in very handy with being a single parent. My husband died. The things that used to be a problem are actually helpful with running a household and keeping up with my 5 year old. I'm very easily distracted but I also notice everything. And I can hyperfocus like a laser beam for hours. I can actually outlast people that are totally fine. I have aphantasia and no inner monologue too so that might actually help. My head is a lot quieter than most of yours.
So, I'm wondering, are you still taking the medication? Do you think medication has helped make your condition more bearable?
Yes, after a lifetime of forgetfulness, it really surprises me when people don't have decided spaces for their shit. How else will you ever find anything?
@@GoddessFirstClass2882 sry. I just noticed some peeps talked back , lol . I'm down for that. In my opinion the relative anonymity afforded a totally safe environment to be honest with others in conversation might just be my favorite social media perk. ....Then ADHD kicked in and I realized that it may have the dumbest thing I've ever said. Well, not the dumbest. I remember when I was in elementary school one time and Mrs. Martin pointed out that I was the youngest person in the entire school and I again felt lonely and isolated. Does anybody know the expression the Chinese people use when they feel lonely or isolated? " We are living in interesting times. " Do quotation marks go inside of the period or outside? ....I'll wait. Speaking of foreigners they are pretty stupid to pick a whole different language than ours. I'll bet the Chinese don't even know the period rule. I'll bet they use the word period incorrectly all the time. I shouldn't talk about periods because I believe white males go to prison for speaking of gender differences in a public forum. How did we get on public forums again? I am all for um. Heh heh...
For curious
" Norms" ,( those who wish they had adhd so are snooping ) , the previous psychotic break is actually a pretty good example of typical adhd minds who are relaxing their filters and allowing a free form stream of conscious thought to fall out of the front of their face...as it were. Cognitive dissonance is a more medical description these days. And hello GFC. I've only met one goddess in my lifetime and I destroyed her self esteem and threw her upon the heap of other women I have thrashed into submission throughout my life.
Actually they mostly ran away screaming . See how I realized that social media WASNT the best platform for honest debate?
Wow...originally I thought I would lighten the mood of sufferers but no..nope. I'm not satisfied. As God is my witness ( god...phttt ) I can't stop. And yes MRS GFC. I am old enough that the mild anorexia and energy boost that accompanies Adderall fits my needs better than the crusty meds. Ritalin. ..etc. I do not like how I feel on them...
I got diagnosed at 34 (2 months ago) with inattentive adhd. I’m on medication now, because it got to the point where I couldn’t function in the world anymore. I notice a huge difference on the days when I take my meds and when I don’t. I feel like I’m just existing when I don’t take my meds. And when I do take them, I’m way more productive. It makes me sad that I need a pill to help me function, but I’m also happy that there’s pills that exist that do help. Yesterday I didn’t take my meds, and I was getting ready to leave my house, when I couldn’t find my keys. I went CRAZY looking for them for at least 10 mins. Then I realized I was holding my arm funny. Sure enough, I had placed the keys under my arms and forgot I even did so. I’m super forgetful! Sometimes I’ll remember something I said I was going to do from weeks ago! It’ll just come back to me out of nowhere. It’s very frustrating! Lol.
Sounds like me 😆
I may have ADHD. One thing I find annoying about myself is when I'm looking for something, like in a box full of stuff or a drawer, at some point I'll completely forget what I'm looking for and I'll just be looking at stuff. I may have seen the object three or four times as I'm rummaging around but I'm just looking at things as thoughts and memories come to me with each random object I touch. The other extremely annoying thing is what I call doorway induced memory loss. I'll enter another room to get something, say a screwdriver, and all of the sudden I have no idea why I'm there. I'll walk out of the room, see the project I'm working on, remember it's a screwdriver I was looking for, go back into the room, have no idea why I'm there and sometimes I will do this 3 or 4 times in a row. Ok, so now I have the screwdriver and I walk back to my project only to discover that it's disappeared from my hand. It was in my hand less than a second ago, I swear it was, really. I spend 20 minutes looking for it only to discover that half of that time I'm just looking at random stuff around the room while thinking about an episode of Green Acres I saw as a kid, and I've forgotten that I'm even looking for something. That Arnold Ziffel was one funny pig. "Electricical," lol, Eva Gabor was perfect for that roll. I glance over at the project and realize I'm supposed to be looking for a screwdriver. Then I find it in the refrigerator. Wait, why did I even open the fridge door in the first place? Now I start flipping out. WHY IS IT IN THE REFRIGERATOR?!?! I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER GOING TO THE FRIDGE! HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?!?! IS SOMEBODY PLAYING PRANKS ON ME? WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? AAAAGGGHHH!!!!!! I flip the f*ck out for 10 minutes straight and then, suddenly I realize I'm hungry. I wonder what's in the fridge... Oh yeah, it's the screwdriver, it's still there. I'm 59 and I've been dealing with this my whole life.
@@tiki_trash omg! Sounds like me. I can completely relate- I even thought before I realised I might have adhd ( after my son was diagnosed with), that I was affected with Alzheimer’s. My advice to you is- get your diagnosis. Educate yourself abt it. There is plenty of strategies to help your brain to improve. All the best 2u!
@@tiki_trash That is still a problem for me and it’s the reason I finally sought help. I thought I was having early onset dementia but I had several different other issues along with it.
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THANK YOU this is such an awesomely validating video!! Being called “LAZY” for my entire life when I was actually trying soooooo hard, has honestly caused me wayyyyy more issues as an adult than any neurotypical person could possibly understand…
As far as losing things necessary for tasks or activities, as someone with ADHD, I do this all the time. I do a lot of home projects that require tools and for instance, I'll be working on a project outside, turn around to try and find the hammer that I literally just put down and have no idea where it is or where I put it. Only when I go inside the house do I discover that I had put the hammer down on the counter when I went in to get that drink of water. But I would have sworn on everyone I love that I had put it down outside.
EXACTLY.
Yep if it’s not attached to me somehow I’ll lose it. I have a d ring for my keys and if I don’t clip it to my belt loop and put it in my pocket I’ll literally look for them for 20 minutes and then realize there in my pocket. 😩
Yup I do that….tools, keys, wallet, paperwork, tickets, radios (for work) and have done for ages and ages…. I’m just discussing and discovering that at 45 I may have Inattentive ADHD ((edit* (probably mixed type 3 now) and low end spectrum level 1 ASD/C (what was old Asperger’s)
I have managed upto COVID and earlier this year to subconsciously engineer why world to cope…
I lost my fiancée partly due to a money issue….
Great video !!!!👌
Me every morning doing my makeup ..l I don’t even get up or go anywhere and I can never find things that were literally just in my hand …. It results in my room looking like a tornado hit it because of a lack of time I have to get to work since i procrastinated getting ready and can’t be late to work anymore … only to find that what I was looking for was right in front of my face … or running out of the house with my house slippers or going in to grab something I forgot only to leave something else behind 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤣😩😭😭
Oh, I’m not alone!
I was not diagnosed until I was 40.
I was called “absentminded” throughout childhood and adolescence. I remember talking to a roommate, when I was in college, about that label. I said something like, “I realized recently that I am not absent minded. A more accurate description is preoccupied. I’m always thinking about things, processing information or fantasizing about something. It takes me away from noticing what is actually happening because my thoughts are often more interesting or attention grabbing than my tasks.”
That should have been a clue. Ironically, I find myself listening to audiobooks, podcasts and UA-cam videos on topics like mindfulness, while often forgetting something more urgent or practical. 🙄
I love engaging with learning how to function well. I often try setting up systems which at first seem helpful…then something throws me off and it’s like the system never existed. I completely forget what to do. It’s beyond frustrating.
I will say, setting reminders and alarms on my phone has helped a lot.
So true...I can relate it.
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Carol Tuttle ‘it’s just my nature’ type 1 energy. This is not a deficit or disorder like society and the DSM has led people to belief. Find your truth.
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I really cried watching this video I'm 42 and just always thought I was a flake, lazy and unmotivated. But this is treatable! Wow
I was just diagnosed with ADD at 46 and I have every single one of these issues…medication and speech/behavioral therapy have made a huge difference, but every day is still a constant struggle…how I made it through life thus far just astounds me
That was so useful for my psychotherapy practice. I love being able to invite my clients to watch videos like this; I even think it’s an ethical responsibility to help clients speed up their understanding and positive self regard which, in turn, saves them money in therapy.
Sign 1: cant get through this video without rewinding a thousand times...
I yelled fuck no less than 10 times and hit the 10 second rewind so many times
"thats not something i would do"
"wait whatd she say? rewinds"
"shit"
@@ivanreynolds5312 i have an 5 sec rewind cause if not i would have taken 10 years to see the whole video ;)
🤣🤣🤣🤣💀 I feel your pain.
Gets unconfortable because of the doctor's eyeliner and the lighting. It's not even 😶😶
Few things... there was no mention of hyper focusing. I find that if something I want to do is engaging enough, eg. mountain biking, my brain locks in on it, there's NO room for intrusive thoughts when you are engaged in split second decision making, the tree will hurt if it gets in the way. It takes longer to start on and lock in on a spread sheet lets say, but when I do, I get annoyed when interrupted. Which leads me to the idea of being able to focus better when under stress, which is opposite of what was stated; I have deep aversion to minutiae, maintenance tasks...boredom makes my symptoms worse. I find that routines are extraordinarily difficult for me to develop, leads me to the thought about dropping the keys in the same place by the door... that's if someone with ADHD/ADD even notices anymore that they have keys in there hand. That would require being in the moment. Once I complete the task for what the item is used for, I'm mentally onto something else almost rendering my body as disconnected from thoughts...those keys get put down anywhere, and I don't even remember doing it.
Yes exactly all of this is exactly my experience
Me too, I hear ya. I have a work around for the key problem tho,,,dont lock anything & u wont get locked out, leave ur keys in the ignition at home & the back door unlocked when ur out, it helps if u have decent insurance policies for if things go wrong, the missus doesn’t like my leave it open idea
I'm bad with keys. I think its important to find and develop systems, and stick to them no matter what. I use a large keychain that clips to my Camelbak. I always take my Camelbak with me, whenever I leave the house. If Im just going to the garage, I clip my keys to my belt. The rule is that these are the only two places for the keys: clipped to the Camelbak, or the belt. If they aren't on the Camelbak, I look for the last pair of pants to check the belt. No matter what I can not deposit the keys anywhere else, because if I do, the universe will just gobble them up and I'll never see them again. This disturbs my wife, because it means I'm walking around with a gigantic collection of keys at all times, but the system works. She always tries to recommend finding ways to carry a smaller keychain but it just doesn't work for me. It's much harder to lose my pants or my backpack. Don't feck with the system
I can only complete a task if I hyper focus. I experience many of the same things that you do. Among other things that are equally distressing.
Hyper focus..then I realise when the focus is broken, I am very hungry, need to use the washroom REALLY badly, still haven't touched that drink
I poured 2 hours ago, my body becomes achey, my cats are hungry, sometimes I even forget to breathe.
But most of the time, not much focus.
thank you for explaining who I am, why I do what I do, and that I'm not lazy or willful in my decisions thank you, most of people I try to explain to dont believe me
It was so painful for me to see my brilliant son viewed as a slacker by friends and relatives. I tried to explain but they just couldn’t get it. ❤
My son is 6 his teacher called on first day of class sayin he was bad dand that if I ever took him to a Dr ,, she only allows my son to use bathroom 3 times a day because she says he slacking off she views him as a Bad kid judging him of one day of class only kuz he couldn't be still in story time, I agree it has impact me allot I feel so upset that people assume a child is just a bad kid @@lillianbarker4292
Thank you for mentioning the guilt and shame that goes along with our shortcomings.
My daughter, at university, expressed her suspicion that she had ADHD. Honestly, I felt she was being dramatic and looking for excuses with regard to her performance. Being a supportive Mum of 53, I encouraged her to seek a diagnosis. Fast forward a month and I get a call; "Mum I've just been diagnosed with ADHD. What gives? I didn't pick it up off the ground!".
She pointed out traits we share and encouraged me to speak to a psych also. Lo and behold, I have ADHD too and am about to start medication. I can't wait for the constant head chatter in particular to stop!! Very excited.
Interestingly, a not widely publicised symptom in women is the continuous repeat of a phrase or more particularly a song in our heads. This is a problem I have acknowledged and discussed for 30 or more years. No one other than my daughter had ever experienced it.
I'm reading thru all these comments and it was NOT dawning on me that I might be (menopausal heightened) ADHD until the last thing you said. I have wondered why I have a song phrase on repeat in my mind every time there's quiet or a "break" in my activities. !!! But I have to throw this in here - I've also had tinnitus and a noticeable uptick in ADHD symptoms since 5g has gone up in my area and have an extreme brain response in big stores (fluorescent lighting perhaps?) I think EMFs are a big problem for many of us.
Swear to god-I’m repeating a lyric to a song right now as I scroll through these comments😂
Thank you for sharing that lesser known ADHD symptom. I am a 35 year old woman diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD (mixed type) at age 17, only 2 months into my first semester of my freshman year of university. Once the curtain of structure provided in high school was pulled away, I almost immediately knew something was wrong with me. The problem was that I performed very well academically, always on the honor roll, graduating with high honors, and receiving an academic scholarship to my top pick school, so know one seemed to notice or care that it took me twice as long to complete a project or write a paper or read an assigned chapter, that I was almost always the last person in class to finish a quiz or exam, and that I was regularly either late for school, late for class, or late turning in an assignment or paper. It was assumed I took twice as long as everyone else to do these things because I was a “perfectionist” and very “anal” about things being a certain way (i.e. perfect). It hurt when my mother, classmates, or teachers would misinterpret the cause and completely miss how much I was suffering because I was pumping twice as much brain power and energy into everything, again, overcompensating to make sure I stayed focused, and as a result, how low my self esteem was (especially combined with the rolling tape of negative self talk especially female ADHDers experience both mentally and out loud. No one would’ve guessed that during lectures, I was firing on all cylinders cognitively just to keep up, or that when I returned to my dorm after classes, my executive functioning was so poor I would get overwhelmed with even where to start to the point of inadvertent procrastination. That’s a key word I felt was missed in this quite helpful and informative video by the way- inadvertent. We often don’t even realize we’re doing it until the point that the task has now become urgent, or for ADHD (hyperactive or mixed types like myself), we inadvertently interrupt people while speaking (a common occurrence for those of us that possess impulsivity symptoms). So back to my introduction into the neuro atypical world...after 2 sessions of extensive neuropsychological testing followed by hearing the psychiatrist say the words “moderate to severe ADHD,” I noticed I was shocked, relieved, and yet not surprised at all, seeing that I came to the student psych center in the first place because of my shameful suspicion it was ADHD. It was ADHD that led to me getting so far behind in half my classes by only October and receiving letter grades completely foreign to me (C’s, even D’s). It was ADHD that later led to me losing my university academic scholarship, even though my GPA was back up to 3.8 not even a year later, once I transferred to a school with much smaller classes than that big Tier I research state university I departed after completing my sophomore year. I withdrew from Calculus twice at the university due to falling so far behind and receiving less than mediocre grades, yet, I aced it at the next school I went to and ended up being recruited by my professor to fill a work study position tutoring in math, including calculus, (as well as a few other subjects such as English courses)! It’s truly amazing how much we ADHDers can thrive in the right atmosphere or with the right accommodations. In my case, all I needed were smaller classes, not sitting in a lecture hall with a hundred other students trying to understand a heavily accented math professor explain detailed equations, but from 20-30 ft away instead of right of me in those smaller classes. I realized I had been overcompensating throughout high school and I have been overcompensating my entire life. Even to this day, I see a therapist regularly and coping with/modulating ADHD symptoms comes up in nearly every session, one way or another lol 🤦♀️. As for the repeating phrases or songs, I had no idea that was ADHD-related- how fascinating! I guess it does make sense though through the lens of the almost obsessive-compulsive aspects of hyper focus. So thanks once again for introducing that observation to me. For the life of me, I could never figure out why I would get songs I like or even annoying ones I strongly disliked stuck playing on repeat in my head. I’ve even woken up to the same song already playing in my head that I struggled with the night before, interestingly enough. And even more strange is when it’s a phrase, sometimes one I spoke but usually spoken by someone else. It’s just so bizarre. Until now, I had thought it was a form of perseveration more commonly associated with OCD or autism spectrum disorders (ASD), and I began to wonder if I needed additional neuropsych screening! So thanks for saving me from that hassle, and thank you to everyone for sharing your experiences, especially all of you women out there, as it all truly helps destigmatize and demystify a still very much socially misunderstood neurological disorder! ✌️
@@victorialaur Ear worms!!!! I'm a musician, and there is a constant soundtrack in my head whether I want it or not. I require white noise to sleep, but oh, how lovely it would be to have brief respites of SILENCE.
For me, as a person that has both ADHD and autism, I prefer detail but have trouble staying focused on one detail and miss the bigger picture entirely. As for intrusive thoughts I have great trouble doing almost anything because at any point a word or phrase can set me off. It's an intense physical and mental pull I have little power over. I may even go off in my own little world while actively talking to someone and after a little while realize that I heard absolutely nothing being said.
I have ADHD. My oldest has ADHD, My 6 year old is same as you. Its been difficult with her having both she was miss diagnosed until she was 4 because the way the 2 interact. Like A hyper, talkative, social, autistic kid lol... But now we got it going. She's in school, special classes but we see a big difference. Its honestly nice seeing and adult with it because honestly when I found out I thought we would have to take care of her her whole life because how long it took here to learn things but we believe she will be high functioning
@@AM0908 I'm glad my rant had a positive effect. Just keep up the good work, teach her that she's not "wrong" being herself and help her get to grips with her gifts and limitations and I'm sure she'll make you proud one day! 👍
Yes!!! Getting stuck on a Word or Phrase….. totally! That’s my husband…. Is it really part of ADHD , which is a form of Autism??
ADHD is not a form of autism.
@@PIOBAIREACHDMHATH People can have both. It's a fairly common comorbidity with both disorders.
I loved hearing you talk about alternatives to medication. Neuroplasticity is the true conditioning we need.
You are sooo exact! I was diagnosed 7 years ago. I take medication- it has saved me to the point that it helps me to focus on all the tasks professional & personal.
I also believe, as a teacher, I totally understand my students and the way I teach has changed.
In addition, I also believe we are super intelligent and always thinking ahead.❤
At what age you were diagnosed?
@@guerovillalbaso2523 I was diagnosed at the age of 43
Are you willing to share which type of medication is working for you?
Not lazy, it's just picking things that don't suit the different way our brain works, when people and events are important to me, I'll be obsessively organised. If people and events are boring I don't. I'm extremely empathic so I fully listen to everyone even strangers and I can remember conversations I had 10 years ago word for word because it mattered, and it's an honour, if someone is complaining about their partner job or anything my brain sees as not.....something that isn't necessary or could be viewed in a different way, then it would be better to tell someone who relates better, I am super forgetful so I've learned, it's important when it comes to someone else's time I will push to make sure I remember, otherwise I'm good 👍 . It's lovely you guys made this video for people though. It's nice to know adults with adhd are recognised, thank you 🙂👋.
This comment describes me down to tha T.
Absolutely true of me too! Thanks !!
@@beckymm1989 thank you @Becky M, I believe ADHD or ADD is a gift, not a curse, if we follow our own path, and not in a weird incense burning kind of way, our way of thinking just offers an alternative way of viewing the world in a way most people don't think of, in everyday life 😉 😀 🌟👍💞.
I love you guys, I believe we were ...meant to be 😀💞😊🌟.
I only have one issue that I struggle with that no-one seems interested in, I can't hate anyone to a dangerous level, I can't hold grudges at all to dangerous levels, these are the 2 things I wish someone would take seriously, I am 51 and these 2 emotions were glaringly obvious at 9 years old when it started to sink in when other kids meant it when they said they didn't like someone, it was inconceivable to me 🥺😣😟🤷♀️ that has gotten much stronger as I've gotten older, it's very lonely 🙂😒❤️🩹.
I think that some of my 'forgetfulness' (adult ADD, 99th %ile) is not really losing the memory of something, but rather not paying attention when I place my keys or my cellphone, etc. down in the first place. If I'm thinking about one thing while doing another thing, then of course I'm not going to remember the task I was doing. In a sense, I wasn't really there when I did something.
Exactly! When we are not present this is what happens. I find there are reasons for us NOT being present. Past issues get triggered, or we dont feel safe being in our bodies or being present. Its a huge problem for humans.
100%
I was called lazy all throughout my childhood! I just was diagnosed in April. I am so happy to understand my mind and what has been going on! Omg a couple of people said “You aren’t organized!” I am excited to do and be better.
Procrastinating is a big one . Good luck ❤
Inattentivness is being unorganised genuis.
An unorganisation of thought, un focused.
I very recently took an ADHD test for a laugh and then did another one and another one and then the realization hit me - this is ME! It's like I was finally seen - I'm not an emotional person but I burst out crying. I'm 34 and all my life I've felt different. People have always been so impressed by how smart I am and my single-minded focus on whatever my latest passion is. I've changed so many careers by now and I inevitably reach a point when the daily grind gets to me, and even the thought of doing one more day of repetitive, mindless tasks physically hurts my brain and I end up dropping whatever I'm doing in disgust. I've always known that's no way to make a successful career or build a life for that matter, but I've never been able to control it - it's stronger than me - I just can't force my brain to cooperate. It's so comforting to know there's other people like me, even though I still don't know what I can do to control it.
That's what I'm going through as of right now! I just feel like I can't move forward I'm waiting for that aha moment but it doesn't happen and been trying to build something for myself as well and just can't seem to get there. I started accepting that something might not be right.
Sounds very much like me, in both comments.
Yes! I think the job I'm currently at is the longest I've ever stayed in one place. But I'm bored. I hate going. Switching jobs now would mean a $5/hr wage drop in most cases and likely end up in the same boat in a few years anyway. It's really frustrating. I'd like to do something different but I have a hard time sticking to things.
Thanks for sharing. Have you tried seeking help?
Your story is almost the same as mine but realised at age 50
Man, this video is definitely feeling relatable. I don't have ADHD, but I've always fought to pay attention, can't remember shit, can't focus, and totally cannot get details straight to save my life. I definitely understand these people, and feel for them.
I've been struggling to find an introduction to ADHD to show family and friends, even after being diagnosed over a year ago. This video and its follow-up are a real help. The back and forth between you both is very useful for countering their doubts. Thank you.
My ADHD usually takes the form of extremely effective hyperfocus on my work life, I have a highly complicated technical job that I absolutely love 😍 but physically and mentally I come home very tired so my home upkeep gets neglected as a result. Plus I HATE housework now that the kids are mostly grown. There are personal accommodations I've made for myself that have helped a ton. I bought a robot vacuum, I have litter robots for the cat pans. I have a 42" smart screen hanging on my wall to stay in my face and SHOW ME what I have planned for the day and longer term goals I have set for myself. And lastly, I parent myself. "Of you clean this mess up, you can do your hobby after that and not worry about this task anymore!" It may sound silly to neuro-typicals, but other ADHDers get what I mean.
I could have written this, it's me to a T
I too had a highly technical job and had to develop coping mechanisms to be able to function. My colleagues would make fun of my OCD-like techniques for sustaining focus and remembering a myriad of steps for each project, but I was very effective in my job. Now that I am retired, my ADHD is running rampant, but there are no serious consequence, other than living in chaos much of the time. I hate the term "Deficit". It's a "feature" and it makes me unique... and sometimes hilarious.
This doesn’t sound silly at all! I’ve been reading a lot of replies to this video and it’s really helped me to feel like I’m actually part of a community of people who understand exactly what I’m going through. I’m 55 and I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a few years after I was diagnosed with depression. But it wasn’t until this year that I was diagnosed with ADHD. My doctor and I have been working on getting the meds just right for me but I can tell you that I feel 100 percent better than I did before I was diagnosed with my ADHD. it’s literally changed my life for the better. I wake up in the morning, take my meds and can focus on important things, organize my thoughts and live my life feeling good, accomplished and more confident. Before I started with these meds, and also having weekly meetings with my psychologist, I found it hard to sleep,woke up with horrible anxiety and would sometimes sit in bed for hours and hours because I felt safe. I would wait until my husband was going to be coming home from work to quickly clean up, make the bed and acting like I was fine. 5his only made me feel worthless and frustrated because I couldn’t figure out why I was this way. There are so many other things that I could write about but I feel I’ve gone on long enough. I’m just so happy and love getting out of bed in the morning to get my day started now. I would urge anyone who has had any of these feelings that I’ve mentioned, or any that I haven’t to speak to someone, reach out and get help. You can get better! I hope at least one person finds this helpful. One last thing.. I’ve even gotten back to painting and can focus on finishing things! Life is good!
@@lanaboisen4134 I was diagnosed at 42 and there has been a mourning period looking back on life. Knowing school was so hard due to inattentive symptoms and restlessness. And the motor mouth that had no stop 😅 The symptoms now project inward and the biggest change with meds for me, is seeing WHEN my brain is glitching and just refuses to think straight. Usually when I'm overly tired and sleep deprived. It's been so great feeling like time isn't flying out the window every day. I can think about some to do items then get up and do them (for the most part 😉) Have a great day!
I like that! I could parent myself. If I do such and such, then and only then do I get to do ____. Thanks!
I love listening to videos about ADHD & OCD. Our dear daughter-in-law has both which is new to us. We understand and have learned to adjust. If we have something to tell her, we make it within 30 seconds to get our story across. If we lend her anything, we don’t expect it returned. We wink at her saying that all of her kitchen drawers are junk drawers. And we drop gentle reminders since she doesn’t keep a calendar.
What lovely people you are ❤
There are at least five different things I should be doing right now-all of which should have been done weeks ago-and yet I’m here. Haven’t been diagnosed yet, but I’m almost there
I would love to hear Dr. Judy’s thoughts on menopausal/premenopausal women with ADHD. My ADHD symptoms are a real problem now that I’m premenopausal.
I'm menopausal and my ADHD is out of control!!!
Same! I’m in perimenopause, and my ADHD symptoms have been much worse with hormones fluctuation. I’ve cooked all my life and these days, I sometimes struggle to follow a recipe or I make dumb mistake with my food. So frustrating! Also, my brain loops now. I can ask my husband the same question 3-4 times the same morning. 🤷🏼♀️ He’ll be like “are you all right” and then I realize I’m looping.
@@lindab3878 I feel for you as I'm the same. Impacting my job now very detrimentally. Have you managed to get any help or anything?
Me too, if u have advice on whether I can see a professional who can help or whether hypnotherapy can work? (UK)
@@HeatherNicola Not yet. In-between drs. You??
You've described me to a tee! I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 50s and everything started making sense. Some examples: I know I have an appointment with my doc, need to get bloodwork done before hand, and either I reschedule the doc appointment because I didn't get it done, or I did it last minute and knowbthey don't have results yet. AND I seldom pay my bill on time. AND I'm so overwhelmed with things I can't get ahead of my housework AND used to get in deep do-doo with my boss for not paying attention to boring details AND though my parents knew I was smart, but called me lazy. Yep! I've managed all my life this way and I'm in my early 60s. I still have trouble with it, but keeping notes helps a lot!
I'm 37 and just took an ADHD assessment yesterday and fell into the ADD spectrum.
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes because so much of what I've struggled with finally makes a bit more sense. I had suspected it for some time but with a lack of access to healthcare I couldn't ever really do much about it. Hearing about these traits, recognizing how much they've affected my self image my entire life and how I've tried to compensate by feeling I needed to be the "best" at everything in order to feel worthy....it's just really damn refreshing to know there's options for treatment on the table now.
Makes the fog a little less dense now.
This made me sad because I see so many of these traits in myself with zero intervention in 54 years. Probably amazing I’ve made it as well as I have over the years.
Don't feel alone with this. I am 54 as well,.I didn't figure it out until over 3 years ago. Sometimes I take solace in knowing at least I finally figured it all out. Well somewhat..😉
60 never diagnosed was just that fidgety daydreamer kid and the real sad thing is i see all the symptoms in my 82 yr old father
@@deangibbs9977 Same..I am 51 and see them in my Mom. She often says, "I think I'm losing my mind." 😔🤗
just started treatment. I am 53.
Oh no it's not modern life with its insane expectations, it's you, you have ADHD....lol. Try being nice to yourself self and deligate some stuff out of your life it might make things more manageable.
As ADHDr or more like ADD, I have intrusive thoughts and worries pretty much all the time I am awake. Also we don't get as much dopamine for working and finishing tasks like normal people do. However, I do things like have bills set to autopay, etc. to be responsible. Getting my expenses and milage for taxes is like pulling teeth for me.
Remember: not all symptoms need to be ADHD related.
@@testboga5991 Yep I the bulk package, ADHD, Anxiety, CPSTD, Rejection Senisitvity, Depression. Also ADHD people may be prone to get sucked in gaslighting & narricistic abuse, unless they know about it, have good boundaries and safe people to do reality testing. I first heard of boundaries, people pleasing and toxic manupulations, codependency, 10 years ago and I am trying my best to learn and apply.
They feed on each other and make things worse. Once I got a bit of control over my ADHD and started getting things done, the depression and anxiety improved. However, controlling the symptoms is a daily struggle.
That probably explains a lot of sugar addiction. The dopamine hit!
Still haven't filed taxes...God I despise this disorder sometimes. If I had my refund even last week my life would be totally different...probably won't get it till next year at some point...
Diagnosed a year ago or so. All thanks to a video like this, and a honest look at myself. Glad I'm medicated now and starting to thrive like never before.
I was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD this past December this along with many other educational videos on UA-cam are very helpful for me as I am working on understanding the why behind the what and recovering from this diagnosis.
I don’t remember 2-3 minutes of things I did all the time. Sometimes I walk somewhere and I don’t remember walking there (idk if I made sense) bc I’m thinking about other stuff. I had no idea that was an ADHD symptom. Still learning more, thank you!
Ps- also when I drive. I scare myself sometimes 😓
I understand this scary thing. I take some amount in comfort in knowing that whenever something happens that's in my immediate sphere of concern (vehicle in front of me braking, as an example) that I do still respond appropriately. So I'm taking in the information relevant to driving safely, but not committing it to short-term/working memory. It's taken me awhile to come to that conclusion, but only now with reading your comment and watching this video does it make actual sense WHY I've experienced it.
I hope these words bring you some amount of comfort when you're experiencing those moments. Just because we're not remembering it doesn't mean we're not paying attention and being dangerous.
Same. I’ll sometimes be driving and zone out. I just don’t remember consciously driving or paying attention. So weird.
I used to drive all over Ireland for my job, which involved travelling through multiple towns and villages along the way. Many times, I be driving along a stretch or road, and I 'd realize I have no idea what the next town coming up is. When I'd get to the next town, I'd try recall driving through the previous few towns/villages...but nope. no recollection at all!
Now, that's not to say I was unaware of traffic or anything else. I must have been because I'd have to have taken turns and changed routes as required, but...I was just thinking about stuff and took no mental notice of it. I used to call it daydreaming, but now after diagnosis, I realise it's adhd
It can be scary
Same even when people talks I easily forget it. My things are all missing sometimes :(( I remember when I was taking a bath I am wondering if I applied shampoo or not. Then I realized I forget to apply it. It is annoying because I get overwhelmed when so much when too much tasks need to be done.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type rather late in life, well in my 40ies. This is a great summery of ADHD inattentive type symptoms! Thank you Dr Judy and Kyle so much.
I much hope that adults - especially women who often struggle with the inattentive type, which so often is overlooked - get diagnosed much earlier. Having undiagnosed ADHD is such a struggle because it really takes a huge toll on one's mental health.
Even though there is no "cure" for ADHD, my life would have been so much easier, had I just known earlier.
At least I could have saved myself from all that negative self talk, beating myself up for being stupid, lazy or down right dumb.
We are not. We are really doing just our best with what we have at hand.
just started treatment at 53. I totally empathise with your every word.
@@MrBradius123 💙
@@margmak6234 Get a new dr.
Diagnosed at 41 in early 2020. I feel like I could have written this! Sometimes I get really caught up thinking about "what if" and wondering how things would have been different. And I get angry about feeling like I wasted DECADES in some aspects of my life. I'm assuming at some point I'll have worked through it, but I'm still firmly in the the "late-diagnosis outrage" phase. The only immediate positive is I realized after my diagnosis that both of my kids also have ADHD and I can spare them what I went through.
What you say makes a lot of sense.
Oh boy the loosing things absent minded. I would be painting in my studio and decide to make tea. Go down to make tea, go back up to paint with the tea, realize I left my paintbrush downstairs, go get it with tea in hand, go back up stairs with the brush, realize I somehow forgot the tea. 3 times a day. Like the myth of sisyphus.
We had to put a hook at the door for my keys and my finance makes me wear them around my neck. I was super mad at first but I love it now, I always know where my keys are.
i won't say that you can't do worse, at least you didn't forget your closed backpack and closed suitcase in a train station and blocking traffic (terrorist policy) while brainwashing yourself you didn't ... didn't get sued btw thx god ...
its crazy right...happens to all of us lol
Sounds like me but with gardening.
I often grump to myself I spend more time looking for the tools I need for a specific job than I ever do actually doing the task.
Decision paralysis is brutal.
The worst!!!!
Very brutal and again, the frustration and negative self-talk is horrible.
Harder on ourselves than anyone else
Omg I have that! I can’t wait to get diagnosed, to think I have been struggling with this, and not knowing, all my life.
How do I fix this? Please help
Ugh 'losing things that are necessary ' honestly, the bane of my life. I can actually 'lose' my phone about 5 times in getting ready to leave the house. Also, putting my pen down somewhere when I'm making study notes and being unable to find it again. As a teaching assistant and now a trainee teacher, putting board pens down etc. It can actually become draining, always looking for stuff and sometimes I feel quite annoyed with myself but I'm trying to be kinder to myself. My diagnosis is a "a highly complex mixture of specific learning difficulties" as opposed to just ADHD itself but I definitely recognise many symptoms
I was just diagnosed 3 months ago with ADHD. I'm 36 & it literally saved my life being diagnosed... I tired to take my own life last summer from the overwhelming feeling like a failure. You wanted to know how often losing things necessary to a task happens (I had to rewind to see what the exact question was haha)... I literally lost a paperclip I needed to put back on a group of papers that I took that exact paperclip off of AND I hadn't moved. It took me 4 minutes to find the paperclip. I didn't have anymore paperclips.... It was funny now that I know I'm an ADHDer, but before it would have made me go into a tailspin of feeling like a freak of nature & a failure. All over a silly little paperclip. It is a huge thing. I once was putting groceries away & had my car keys in my hand & put the keys in my freezer. It took me hours to retrace my steps to find my keys. I have C-PTSD as well & after years of being in therapy to overcome my anxieties, night terrors, & flashbacks of C-PTSD... was when my ADHD was able to be diagnosed. It is truly tiring to try to be a neurotypical person. Hints to my pain last summer.
Read into RSD. My son was diagnosed and then after reading so much literature, I'm pretty sure I have it too. I've always been spacey and it's made my life really difficult and I've had to overcome a lot of negative feelings due to my struggles. Wishing you the best.
This is me too is there a med you take ?
@@eileendoherty2836 my doctor started with me 5mg of Adderall when I was 1st diagnosed which helped, but he wanted to try 10mg for me cause I couldn't focus to even read a page of any of my textbooks. He said I could probably go up, but I like this dosage. The problem is caffeine never effected me before (which is because it doesn't effect ADHDers) but if I drink it too late my sleep cycle is off now. They were so right about mindfulness though. I took a class in my 1st semester back to school, at 36, on mindfulness.... so so so helped with focus & helped with my hyperfixation. I still need to practice it better, but truly helped.
@@higherlove8886 thank you!!! I will totally looking to RSD.
@@eileendoherty2836 oh yeah... I am just on Adderall now... I was on antidepressants, but they just made me gain weight & be exhausted all the time. Of course different meds work for different people. But it has helped me a lot.
Thank you for this video! I’m going to talk with the school counselor tomorrow about the possibility of me having adhd because I’m having a hard time in college. After being dismissed by my ex psychiatrist and convincing me that’s it’s all in my head, I became scared of approaching professionals. I know my problems and I want to try again getting a diagnosis. Hopefully someone finally listens.
Having a big calender and the whole month each day from above to down have made a big change in my life. Its by my bed so its the last thing I see before sleep. Im really strickt on writing things down right away to(thats hard). But its a coping skill I try to learn others since it has helped me alot.And also put everyting in the same place!
I'm so glad I came across this. My son was diagnosed with ADD as a child and was on different medications for it. He seems to have learned how to cope as an adult, although I still see hints of it occasionally. But after watching this video, I realize that I probably have it as well! Every single one of these points brings a very loud bell for me.
I just found this video and it really resonates with me. All 4 of us in our family have ADHD and are on Adderall. There is a nationwide shortage of it which is causing me great grief. First off, having to go see the doctor every three months for scripts, calling monthly to get the script filled, and remembering to stop and pick it up are all DIFFICULT tasks for someone with ADHD! Now with the shortage and having to call a dozen (yes, two days ago I called 12 pharmacies and was finally able to get scripts for two of us filled but at two different pharmacies) places to see who had it in stock.
Sigh.
I know I can’t complain to anyone since no one else I know has to deal with this, so I’m taking opportunity to express my frustration here. 😏
That’s all. Just sharing one struggles.
well you can always talk to us! I hope you n your family is okay!
That's the reason I'm not going to bother with the pharmaceuticals . You get dependent on them and screw up when you don't have them.
Ask your doctor about Vyvanse!!! I love it. I take it and supplement with small amount of adderall in the afternoon if necessary.
Not long after my ADHD diagnosis came my autism diagnosis. There’s a whole generation of late diagnosis autistic adults (especially women who are more likely to go undiagnosed with ADHD and autism) who have fallen through the cracks and struggle to get adequate treatment in a health care system where specialists are scarce and usually work with children.
I was diagnosed with autism and adhd this year at 33. I’ve met a lot of people with stories like this. We have such high social demands even as children and we learn to mask, so any deficiencies are seen as laziness and not as something we need help with.
Soo Very True. I'm not certain where to turn for a diagnosis in Rural Southern Colorado and no mode of transportation.
Hi there. May I know what lead to the late Autism diagnosis? Since some ADHD symptoms are so similar (not the same) to Autism symptoms, I'm curious bout the differences.
Yes! I remember when talking about ADHD become a bigger thing. My mom always said that’s not real that kid needs their a$$ beat. Me at 38 realizing I have ADHD and making the connections to me getting whooped often when I wasn’t trying to misbehave. I was just forgetful and I focused from my adhd. I got punished for poor grades when I couldn’t focus in class. The. I grew up thinking it was my fault I’m not successful in life .
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
@@magdalenposada4127Yes, dr.sporesss
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
@@eddiejohn8506Is he on instagram?
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
Yeah the last point is really something. I'm very good at solving complex problems but then again I once nearly put water into the filter and coffee grounds into the water tank after autopiloting out of bed towards the kitchen like I do every morning. Meditation has really helped me a lot. And doing some exercise as well.
I poured coffee on to cornflakes the other day instead of milk!
I feel so validated right now. I have struggled with adhd since childhood. I was in special Ed as a teen, but did not have a proper diagnosis. My special Ed teacher would get so frustrated with me over my “disorganization, lack of focus, failure to complete tasks”, etc. She would yell at me “How are you always looking so cute and put together, but your locker and backpack are always so cluttered!?” As an adult I have been able to implement strategies to help me with coping. I finally began medication and feel like an almost normal person. I still avoid tedious tasks to the point of self-sabotage, but I manage. Having adhd does require me to work twice as hard as someone else to achieve the same level of accomplishments. Even though it is challenging, I am okay with my diagnosis because when I feel interested in something, I am able to hyper focus on it until I master it. I taught myself how to cook from cookbooks and the internet. Now I can prepare gourmet meals from scratch!
I have every single one of these symptoms. I have not been to a psychologist. But what has helped me the past four months with all of these issues is having my nutrition OnPoint getting proper sleep in and exercising regularly
This is the best description of my behavior I’ve ever read. Thank you for providing this information. I’ve probably avoided tackling this due to my inattentive adhd lol.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and I suspect my daughter suffers same condition. I started to correct some behaviours in day to day routine but still proscrastinate some tasks. It's a daily struggle indeed. People around us don't understand this condition and are judgemental. It sucks
I relate to just about everything. Trying to get through a work day is exhausting in itself forever losing things, easily distracted. Always absent minded even though your constantly trying to be in the moment. Working 10x times harder than most to seem like a normal organized, responsible adult is exhausting in every way!! It's quite demoralizing having people say they relate to a few things & conclude they're ADHD when actually it effects every aspect of your life not just a few symptoms. Concluding your just like everyone struggling or just lazy is someone who will never understand what it's truly like until you've lived it.
Guys remember (or try to remember) you’ve come a long way, especially if you went diagnosed until adulthood. I felt like I was being punished for past life sins, it was like living in a nightmare.
Absolutely! Forgetting things and having to backtrack as a result is extremely frustrating for me. It’s a daily struggle!
I wasn't diagnosed until I was almost 45 years old. My mom used to tell me I would lose my butt if it wasn't attached. Everything you just asked about resonates with me. Thank God for my meds.
“Lose my butt if it wasn’t attached” 😂 Funniest thing I’ve read in a longtime!
The "lose my butt if it wasn't attached" oh my gosh, my mom also always say something to me, but mine says "pussy" instead of "butt" 😂😂
I sighn out at work place 2wice as I am not sure if I sign out first place, doese this happen to anyone .
please help me answer one question i will be very glad, when you sometimes miss place items , do you remember when you find them , that oh I placed it here, or you be like how this thing end up here, sometimes it happens that i don't remember how i place this item here first place ?
I always say "lose my head if it wasn't attached"
Kathy B
I misplace my glasses but I have 4 pair so it’s no big deal. I always find the lost pair which has been laid in a different place where I usually put them.
Meeee too 😆
I have around 10 pairs, and until recently I was lucky is I knew where 1 pair was. My daughter created a glasses box and put it in the living room. Now, when anyone finds a pair of my glasses they go in the box. I think there are about 6 pairs in there at the moment
Yes yes and yes. But ADHD is also my superpower. I can get a whole crew of linear thinkers excited about a new project. Great team player, inclusive, and big picture thinker!! If you surround yourself with people who love organizing and scheduling things, then things go a bit smoother.
Both of the speakers here are amazing and do a great job in teasing out nuances. Mindfulness, nutrition, coaching, organization routines, sticky notes, medication and daily exercise are keys to survival. As a special education teacher, i have seen medication do nothing for one student and a miracle for the next, so if youre recently disgnosed, go into the conversation with an open mind and try all of it! … uhm, in a well organized, methodical and clinical way. Also dont judge yourself and dont hang around judgy people.
Are u currently medicated for ADHD? If so, the medication would be the reason for this superpower, not your ADHD. ADHD meds are no different than meth or cocaine..
I suffered severe depression and mental disorder several years ago. Was actually diagnosed with ADHD. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
How can i find him? Is he on insta
I was horrifically depressed since childhood. It was relentless. I assumed it would ultimately end me somehow. About twelve years ago I randomly accepted the offer from a friend of a few doses of mushrooms. I did them two consecutive nights alone. First night was pretty mild. The second night? Wow. I saw my depression from every angle, realized much. Next day: depression totally gone. Never came back, never coming back. It's like it's a forest far away I can remember, and could probably find again with enough effort, but it has zero impact on anything in my life or mind. They honestly saved my life and improved it immensely. I never did them
again, either. I wish there was a good,
organized way to administer them to people who would benefit from them.
Yes! Got mine delivered here in Germany 🇩🇪
@RubenDuate its a bot lmao. oh wait ur a bot too lololol
For me
1. Carelessness & no attention to detail - attention to a detail that has grabbed me is good. Attention to other details is part of the "big picture" which I don't do well.
2. Difficulty sustaining attention - very much so, and closely related to point 8. Best way I can describe my brain is like a pin ball machine.
3. Doesn't seem to listen - yep. Because once I get into thinking about something, distracting with speaking to me messes up the attention I have actually managed to get into.
4. No follow-through on tasks/instructions - happens when the follow through is in effect another task.
5. Poor organization - certainly. If I plan, I find so many things to include int he plan I land up planning myself into inaction.
6. Avoids tasks with sustained mental effort - yes, as the last thing I want is more half done things around.
7. Loses things needed for important activities - all the time if they are not where I would expect them. I lost some motorcycle keys for 15 years!
8. Easily distracted by unrelated thoughts - all the time. I will be talking to someone while trying to move my head so objects on the shelf behind them are in line in my visions, or their ears are lined up with something, etc.
9. Forgetful with daily activities - yes, but probably mostly following on from points 2 and 8.
Thanks 😊
Unmentioned is the possibility of childhood discord and personal disruption affecting ADHD. I survived a home where my parents were constantly arguing, my brother flunking and the usual parental response to (mostly imagined) infractions was violence (Esp. the belt from my old man). My ignorant parents would go to the doctors and specialists concerned about what was wrong with me, that I didn't hear or the horrible possibility that I may be "retarded". The real problem likely is when there is regular loud argument accompanying with physical mistreatment would make any human to "tune out". Why should one pay attention to what is going on when there is violent behavior and discord? One turns off to turn off the horror.
moving out of my parents' place and then visiting them later made me realize just how much they bicker and how it immediately causes me to dissociate. I do think sometimes people develop ADHD as a stress response, chasing escapism and wandering thoughts trying to ignore the reality around them until it becomes the natural state.
@@NiJo826You can't develop adhd. It's genetic and hereditary disorder that is present at birth. You either have it or you dont.
@@NiJo826dang that’s actually eye opening. My parents bicker all day everyday. I always thought it allowed me to better tune out my surroundings and not listen
Part of me losing things is not seeing things that are there. I can look on a shelf for something and not see it, I spend so much time looking for things that were in the first place I looked but was distracted by seeing other things.
Yup! It’s frustrating when it happens all day everyday.
It's amazing how you find things and then to proceed to forget what you were looking for in the first place.
@@tomaskey6844 It's a way of life.
My remedy for that is “do the next thing”. Don’t lock in on searching for your keys, just pick up the shoes you want to wear and the next time you gaze hits the hallway table, you will be able to recognize your keys.
II’ve always struggled keeping engaged with a long conversation or in school. It’s very exhausting physically and mentally for me. I also have to have CC on tv that forces me to read and I also rewind a lot because I zoned out. Family always thought I was bored listening to them or being selfish. It’s not intentional, it’s a struggle!
Please do more talks on this subject and thank you!
If you have ADHD, like me, you HAVE to train yourself to make task lists and alarms, get bins to corral up your stuff (makes things appear tidy), keep a strict schedule for eating, exercising and completing boring tasks. The schedule keeps you in line 😊
I just bought 18 boxes from ikea so I can store my mess and then stuff will look 'tidy'......I have so many lists just to be able to remember what I was planning to do the following day....a schedule for boring tasks just doesnt work for me, I'll always justify a reason to not do the boring stuff until I have absolutely no choice but to do it. I have a friend due to come over for a board game tomorrow, I already know I'm gonna bail on that, but it's fine because I know that she has just as many issues as me. Today I had to go out and do stuff (ikea etc) and it was horrendous. I loathe going out to do stuff on a weekend, there are far too many people around and far too much noise going on.
100%
@@lilgit9969 i probably have 1,000 lbs of lined paper of To-Do lists in my room, nevermind all the ones ive erased from my whiteboard over the years lol
yes and I set timers when I'm cooking lol I make notes so I won't forget things
I am not even going to mention making lists!
At the beginning of every year I buy a diary and promise myself that I am going to use it. At first I write down my tasks for the day. Those tasks not done are carried forward to the next day. And so on.
By March the promise that I made to myself is broken.
Wow I score 9/9 on this list of signs! I’ve long thought I was borderline ADHD and have been paying attention to how that might affect me. But the only tests I’ve seen online were of the sort “Does your life fall apart because of attention problems”, for which my answers were, generally, “no, I manage fine”. Though it is difficult at times.
Sometimes it can depend on the situation. If you work in an area where you can hide it then nowhere near so much of a problem, while another area might be impossible.
I had to watch this several times to hear everything..and I still need to do a rewatch.
9:20 this was really on point. I was dignosed with ADHD at 33, and as a writer reading is crucial for growth. But reading has always been incredibly difficult. I would take ages to get through a book because I would finish a page and realize I had no idea what I just read. Since being diagnosed, and understadning what was happening, I've been able to be more kind and understanding with myself. When it happens I no longer get upset or quit. And the meds have helped it happen less than it used to (I think).
Hi, I have the exact same issues my partner works in mental health and is pretty certain I have ADHD, always forgetting where I put things and always find it incredibly hard to study, feel kind of trapped because I know I have alot of potential, I have been thinking about getting a professional diagnosis but I am very apprehensive, is there any over the counter, medicine I could try that might help?
It would be really interesting to see the comparison between childhood trauma and ADHD symptoms. It seems to me that they overlap in terms of dissociation and intrusive thoughts.
I have heard and read about the correlations between childhood trauma and ADHD, and the cause and effect relationships are a wicked web. But where it's possible to trace backward, the patterns go back generations.
i read something but i cant remember were. for instance if your parents always fight, that would put you in a constant fight and flight and it will make you zone out alot
There's certainly an overlap in childhood trauma symptoms and ADHD symptoms (I noticed this watching another channel's video about childhood trauma symptoms in adults).
However, that doesn't necessarily mean they're related. Unrelated conditions can cause similiar symptoms. For example, ASD and STPD have a bunch of overlapping symptoms, but they have different underlying causes. (Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder; Schizotypal is a personality disorder.)
@@jliller my adhd its weird, you could say i have bipolar also, but maybe ita because im over sensitive. I definitely have some ocd. Then the anxiety and depression, and such waste of talent i cant focus on anything
@@ayjie6829 ADHD is often similiar to bipolar in terms of having abnornal emotional highs and lows. The big difference is that bipolar people are high or low for weeks at a time. ADHD can flip the switch every few minutes as their attention shifts.
Anxiety and depression are common side effects of ASD, ADHD, and other mental conditions.
I have a friend who has both ADHD and OCD. Despite this, she was able to get a master's degree and work in her chosen field.
Regarding losing things, I learned well before I received my ADHD diagnosis to have specific places for things I use most often. However, this doesn’t mean I don’t still ‘lose’ things, occasionally. One time, I came home from getting lunch at a drive-thru, pulled out my debit card to buy something, got distracted by something else, then went to get my debit card and couldn’t find it. I even went so far as to call the restaurant to see if I’d driven off without it. Then I got back to my desk and oh look! There’s my debit card!
This is probably just a matter of preference, but I sincerely dislike the use of “absent-minded” when talking about people with ADHD. Our minds aren’t absent, if anything our minds are working even harder than neurotypical minds. In my experience, we’re very aware of what’s going on around us, it’s just that sometimes what we see or hear or interact with will trigger another thought. I don’t have ‘trains’ of thought that follow a single track, I have pinball games of thought with flippers and obstacles and bumpers that send my brain (the ball in this analogy) in different, unpredictable, directions.
I experience this the same way. #pinballeffect
I also dislike "absent-minded". My mind isn't absent, it's in 400 different places and it's exhausting!
The other one that makes me very defensive is "careless mistakes". I can assure anyone that my daughters and I care very, very much. It is endlessly frustrating to make these mistakes and it's distressing that some people take it as evidence that you aren't taking something seriously, aren't paying attention, or have a poor work ethic.
It also makes me angry the way people weaponize the word "lazy" against people with ADHD and invisible conditions.
I like the pinball analogy. :)
Also, "losing" things because you don't remember those things exist if don't need them reqularly and they are somewhat hidden. My partner has ADHD. When packing to trip they were complaining things not fitting to their backpack. I came to look and asked why they didn't take their big backpack. "What big backpack?" they asked annoid and confuced. "The one your brother gave you. It is in you closed under your suits."..."Oh, this one! I forgot, I have this." They had had it for months, they had used it multiple times, but it had been in their closet for about 2 months...
This is why different organisational strategies, that take this account, are needed for ADHD people. See through bins, clearly defined bigger cathegories etc.
I would like to "hide" everything, because I easily remember what I have and where my belongings are. Likely, my partner has less stuff than I have...so I can "hide" my belongings, and accommodate also their needs where needed. :) And still our place is mainly ordered enough for me to not get stressed out.
I always forget if I sighn out in work place because I am confused I sighnout twice doese this happen to anyone ??? Please answer .
I just found out I have adhd I kind of knew I did but was ashamed to admit it for many years but it has gotten so bad that it is affecting my life so negatively I finally decided it is time to get help!
I found the rapid fluctuation in motivation level trips me up the most.
One minute I have a solid plan to execute and the next I'm like blah, don't care anymore, which also leads to mood swings because the degree of frustration and heartbreak felt on a daily basis is what most people only experience few times I their life. That's likely another reason for the higher suicide rate in our circle.
I refuse to call it by the DSM name. That awfully passive aggressive name of the disorder is the cruelest irony.
Interesting. I dig what you wrote
Instead of ADHD I prefer to call it HARD (Hyperactive Attention-Regulation Disorder).
If you also have high-functioning Autism that means you're a HARD Asp.
@@jliller i would love to be able to say im inattentive and hard af
I'm an older woman with ADHD and I always lose things! It drives me crazy. I'll lose keys, glasses, money, important papers, you name it, it's gone. I've found different of helping me with this, but it still happens all the time. I'm seeing a doctor after taking some diagnostic tests at my local mental health office. I'm considering medication if it's an option because if it helps me be more organized and focused, life would be so much better!
Unfortunately me too. I meet all of these symptoms
I am in the process of getting an assessment myself but there’s a long waiting list. I have heard so many positive things about medication that I m am all for it if it helps me be even slightly more organised! I’m a mom of two and I’m drowning in appointments and expectations I’m no longer keeping my head above water (I feel like I’ve been doggy paddling trying to keep up with life) at this point. I sent my partner off to a dr. Appointment with my daughter a week early. I missed the actual appointment. I missed events at the school. I feel guilty anc like a failure but there’s too much stuff to remember and despite my efforts I can never keep a diary. And even when I do I still manage to f up somewhere!
Best of luck for your treatment I hope you get to where you want to be and I hope I do even if it’s a year or so down the road..
Well, because you're getting older, it's common sense you forget things
@@homerogarza3060 I've been going through this since I was in my 20s. I've often wondered why I get like this. I'm not so old that I should have forgetfulness related to old age.
before considering medication, train yourself to always put the keys right next to the door on a special hook, buy a bunch of cheap reading glasses in the drug store and put them everywhere, put your wallet always in this one purse and put it right back there every time you take it out, put all your important papers in one drawer only.
You can do it! I’m 67 now and trained myself about 15 years ago to do that and hours of frustration melted away from every day, leaving room for the appreciation of all the extraordinary things I achieve that people without ADD could never dream of.
9/9 Not very hidden if you're looking. Work is hell, constantly relearning things I forgot. Making people angry when I ask for another explanation. Angry that I can't start a project on time "what have you been doing all this time". No matter how many times I get in trouble and hate myself I STILL can't do things on time. Being exhausted from working so hard with nothing to show for it. Getting burnt out quicker than others that are producing more and judged for needing breaks.
...did you copy my homework? pretty sure those are my thoughts and I would like to know how you got them out of my brain. I can't even get thoughts out of my brain.
I know how u feel I starts meds tmr
I was diagnosed at age 61. The smoldering wreckage that was my life now had a legitimate reason. Adderall is nothing short of a miracle, and I am so grateful to know it now so I can make the best of what's ahead. Thanks for a great video.