Just a reminder that the name of the channel will be changed to Alexander Grace very soon. I will be changing the format of the videos but I won’t be returning to interview women on the street. When I do interview women, it will be in long form discussion format. I will also experiment with talking straight to the camera. Lots of changes. I understand some people want a return to the old interviews but it won’t happen because it got boring for me. I want to go into depth and make content that is intellectually challenging. There is nothing stopping you from grabbing a camera and heading out to the street yourselves, go for it. I’ll even link people to your channel. I do ask that you now come to terms with the fact that the channel has changed. While I understand you might be disappointed, I now ask that you quietly exit and watch different channels rather than complain about how this one has changed. From now, if all you do is post negative comments complaining, I will consider it trolling and remove the comments because I want the comment section to be a place for genuine discussion. Thanks so much for all the support from people who like the new content, it’s been great to get personal emails from people who like my work. I’ve got some changes coming that Im very excited about and I’m sure you will enjoy too.
Damn, I just commented that It'd be good seeing some Bali woman with the same questions!! lol But I will support this channel as I know you are trying to actually help. Haven't seen a vid I didn't like or get some insight from. Keep it up, mate!
XGoldenPhoenixX Spot on👌 ... The girls just get hate on in the video regardless what they say. You cannot change the hardcore minds of some.. Instead of hating, maybe we should just acknowledge our faults and find answers!....
Kurt Cumming. Yes I agree! And that's exactly what he's doing with his new videos, which is great! The ones who complain are not interested in anything really, but to complain about women haha
People are so resistant to change its ridicolous. As if you would try to intentionally make your channel worse. I'm sure 99% of the complainers will like your new content as much, if not more, than your old content. If they give it an open mind, that is. Me personally, I'm stoked and cant wait to see what you are currently brewing up. I'm sure it will be excellent either way! Cheers from Germany ~Andy
To be dominent wile caring for the woman well being is one thing, to want to hurt or humilliate a woman is a criminal tendancie manifest by Sadism in bdsm wile avoiding going to jail . What is told here is garbage that can take you to jail exept if the masochist is a client paying to be hurt and humilliate and doing so is self-arming: hurting oneself to suppress a bigger psychological pain. That could lead to worst.
🎯 This so much! As a sub I don't want an insecure Dom who flees his emotions and fears and will vent his frustration on me. I want a confident Dom that is well in his skin, with control AND self control, not a self conscious ticking bomb that could blow in my face if I look a bit too much at his love handles! From my point of view this is scary and a big red flag. Be relaxed and confident and I will trust and follow you. If you're not there yet, seek a therapist and solve your problem. Then we'll talk again later.
@@mystisith3984 Ikr!? The fearless self-confidence and take charge attitude is where all of the appeal lies. That's what brings out the woman...the feminine submissive side of a female. A woman Needs to be shown who's boss. And that natural polarization is what makes it work.
I like this video. When I started dating my partner, i asked him what his sexual preferences were and he was pretty feminine and hesitant to say what he wanted. I'm really submissive and I knew he was really dominant but hadn't discovered it for himself. Naturally, me being really submissive made him take the lead and now he loves it. He admitted to me that he felt like he was using women if he did that and it was wrong.
This is equivalient of i forced my girlfriend to do other hole because i knew she wanted it, we did it only in that hole every time until she started to like it. You are psychopath.
I got one that did the same for me. I was always good in bed and did plenty of things but always felt like it was disrespectful because my dad's prejudices as it turns out he doesn't know a damn thing about women or sex and is incredibly insecure so he just made an excuse yo hide it.
I honestly and completely disagree that violence and sex are connected. It is also true that soldiers found themselves becoming physically aroused during intense physical struggle for their lives and felt EXTREME hidden guilt and PTSD... this also does not make sexuality and killing linked/associated merely because chemicals (I’m a veteran). As I understand it, the association of these two are actually the profile used to characterize rapists and this is why movies depicting violence and sex together are ban from movies in Australia, as I understand it. I would highly caution this train of thought and encourage a thorough investigation with professionals before offering advice to men on the topic.
You're exactly right! My my wife and I were very sexually active When We Were Young and eventually she got to the point she didn't want to have sex at all so after about two years of no sex we were talking about it and of course once again she was rejecting it so I became aggressive with her and start kissing on her neck aggressively and doing other things and she kept saying stop why are you doing that I told her to shut up and she eventually got quiet and began to enjoy it and next thing I know she was begging for me to be in her it may have been the best sex we had ever had
One of the reasons blindfolds are fun is how they allow the blindfolded person to be more in-the-moment rather than anticipating based on what they are seeing. Take away sight and the other senses become more poignant I enjoy both being blindfolded and experiencing a partner's enjoyment of being blindfolded. I suspect a lot of BDSM and other sexual things work this way: people have reasons to enjoy doing them to someone, to enjoy having it done to them, and to enjoy the other person's enjoyment
Speaking as a switch, I love the idea of seeing a big, strong man kneel before me. The power gives me a high. I love hurting people and seeing my marks on them. It's a possession thing I guess. I also have a feminisation kink. Basically forcing a macho man tao wear female clothing and makeup and I'd call him things like pretty pet, little sl*t etc. (consensually). It's thrilling to control someone that powerful, men tend to be bigger and stronger than me so to get them to the point of begging, seeing them submit to me and seeing how I hurt them is a sort of trophy. I did that, I defeated him, I brought him to his knees.
@@blueyzblue6391 nope, already got mental help. And kink isn't a mental or physical illness, so how in the nine hells could she have "helped" me. The only way something like kink becomes a mental illness is when someone displays a disregard for their own or others' wellbeing (usually end up in jail) or they dislike the thoughts they have (intrusive thoughts). And since I have neither problem (technically I have intrusive thoughts about being buried alive, but like I said, I got help) in my kink life I don't in fact need it. And the psychologists seem to agree. And there is also the fact that studies show kinksters generally have a better level of wellbeing than their vanilla peers.
@@blueyzblue6391 hhmmm, so the psychologists are lying, I am lying, the science is lying... Mmmm, have you ever thought that _you_ may be the one who's lying. Or at least have no idea what you're talking about.🤔
You spoke a lot about the dominant side of things. Now I'm not quit your target audience, as a gay and very submissive man who likes to step into the more feminine role in relationships, but I think I can speak to a lot of what most submissives get out of this whole experience. DISCLAIMER: As already mentoned a few times in the video, BDSM is always about the individual. Everyone will have different expectations and experiences. Talk to your partner about it *a lot*, if you think about trying this out. **Aspect 1: Rules & Trust-Building** (and also an exercise in communication) While it might not be entirely intuitive at first glance, it's all about trust and safety. Not always in the immidiate acts themself, but on a bigger scale for the whole relationship. For the submissive, the ruleset is the safety net, we let ourself "fall into your hands" and whenever we feel like we're falling too far, the safety net is there to catch us. The common ruleset is basically "Safe Sane Consensual" and the (often two) safewords. I'll explain it shortly(look up more about it if you're interested) Safe is rather obvious, what is being played out should not lead to longterm harm or anything worse. (medical complications or death, also keep mental health aspects in mind) Sane means, all agreements are made while you're not intoxicated and ideally wide awake and aware. Sure, you can be drunk or on drugs when you actually play it out, but it's always a good idea to talk about it first while you're sober. Consensual, well, I don't think much needs to be said here. And the two safeword system is so the submissive can always clearly communicate whenever something that is happening does not sit right with them. Safeword 1: Hold it, we need to talk about something I'm not totally comfortable with. Safeword 2: Stop everything, I'm extremely uncomfortable with what is happening and I want to stop. (Often also involves the request to get someone out of bondage/cuffs/bindings.) Also one common system is the trafficlight, which is often used for quick communication about suggestions. Grean: "I like what's being suggested, you may do that to me" Yellow: "I'm unsure about the suggestion, maybe we should talk about it or go into more detail" Red: ""Definitely don't do that to me, I'm not okay with that" Now here is why it is so important. In most cases of BDSM-Scenes or similar kind of intimate interaction, a submissive will give up a big part of their autonomy to their partner, and depending on what agreements have been made, all their struggle or denial that is not communicated through an established safeword might be disregarded. If that is agreed upon, that is fine, and can even feel very liberating for a submissive. You can pretend to be fighting against whats happening to you and/or enjoy playing out parts of a rape-fantasy So at this point the submissive has put a lot of trust into the dominant partner, hoping to be treated well or mistreated in the agreed upon ways. And if the dominant partner acts within the rules and quickly reacts to any used safewords, even if the submissive partner has been uncomfortable with something in the shortterm, it will reinforce their trust in the dominant partner. The kind of trust that is built this way can last way past a played out scene and enrich a relationship on a very deep level. And I hope this has made it very clear for everyone: Do not ignore the rules you agreed upon. You will break the trust within your relationship, and this will definitely follow you past the playtime/scene. **Aspect 2: Pushing Boundaries & Self-Discovery** This kind of environment can act as a safe space for a couple and especially the submissive partner to push or be pushed in/past their boundaries. We are often not sure how much of a fantasy we really want to translate into the real world. Many things have to be experienced before you really know how you feel about it. It is very common that a submissive wants to be pushed past their zone of comfort, see how far they are willing to pushed, maybe find that they enjoy something a lot more then they thought they would. Quite often it might even happen that at first the submissive still wants to deny having enjoyed something, maybe because shamed of it, but there might be other reasons too, and they will have the easy out to say "I did this because my partner pushed me to do it, I don't think I want to do it again" and after that take all the time to need to work through your feelings on it. Maybe you'll want to do it again, maybe not. Maybe you didn't like it at all, but are still glad to have made the experience. **Aspect 3: Pleasing Your Partner** I know this does not go for everyone, but quite a few submissive people just deeply enjoy being the target of their partners desires that can't be acted out under other circumstances. There are people out there who will gain happines from the knowledge that they have made you happy. So please, dear dominants, if that is what your sumbissive wants, it's okay to act absolutely selfish for that time, without guilts and doubts.If needed you can reciprocate the favour later (during aftercare). There is still a lot to be said about how this can be used to strengthen a relationship, the reciprocal mechanisms that can be had through this. e.g. a "homemaker" might like to submit to the dominant partner often to reciprocate for all the effort of the "breadwinner". A traditional relationship with a bit of a BDSM twist. There are definitely people who would feel fulfilled in roles like this. Maybe a video about this would be a good idea? Find a (or a few) sumbissive women to ask questions about this. (I mean, I'll also be happy to answer questions, but as a man myself, that's maybe a bit beside the channel topics? Maybe not, I'm not entirely sure.) Cheers~ (I didn't proofread, I hope its fine)
Yeah...but, like...Wouldn't you rather have a partner who wasn't a sadist? Who got-off on SEX and NICE, GOOD things? Doesn't sadism seem anti-social and pathological? SOMEtHING that needs to be healed rather than indulged? A guy feels powerless all day...THAT'S A PROBLEM. Resorting to hurting another being for feelings of power and validation to COPE WITH THIS PROBLEM...seems pathological to me! So, like...don't you feel at all like supporting and indulging pathology is a sickness itself? I Apologize. I AM A Little bitter here. These are honest questions that no-one seems able to answer so far. They just get angry and avoidant.
@@TheHelladood you can like both, and be well rounded. What Alexander explored is why it's even more appealing in some situations (when someone usually feel powerless and all). Furthermore the dynamic leader/follower is really interesting, especially for building trust. Not one role have it easy, you may think the leader have it easy, but there's a big difference between being a bad and a good leader. And for the follower, giving in can be tough. Once the setup is done tho, it makes things much smoother, a democracy of two equal votes is doomed to face constant status quo.
@@TIOLIOfficial old coment. I assure you I watched the video. Care to elaborate? I don't just will-nilly say things just to say therm (or type, whatever.) Tell me what is stupid about my comment and I can try to explain to you how it relates or why it's relevant. I don't evern remeber what the video says. No need to be bristle-y friend.
man, i just discovered your channel a day ago, and i must say , the work you're doing is fabulous. You really have a gift to explain psychology, so clear !! thank so much for the work , you've made me understand so much !! gratitude and respect from france ! keep it up !
If you would like a idea to switch up, perhaps display the questions /argument on screen with text and you speak to the camera and reply. You can also add pictures and music to provide immersion and atmosphere. Not being critical, just trying to be helpful.
At the risk of reducing complexity to simplicity for those professionals in the sex therapy trade. An incompatability of perversions is a leading cause of relationship failures. Given that the overwhelming evidence for sex among all life forms that engage in it is for reproduction, not pleasure,makes a large percentage of us perverts. So choose wisely
Thank you for the insights into all of this and giving me a basic framework to understand why my sexual partner is into so much of this yet it has little effect on my interests. Something I can now talk about with them easier.
B&D is ok.... But being aroused by hurting someone or veing hurt..... Is a mental disorder..... Unless its a playful spanking over my lap.... But that's a "DADDY" issue that might need to be addressed by a professional... Or some role-playing a professional.. 😜
This was fascinating to learn about, thank you. I had no idea the subject was so complex. It seems to me, from your analysis, that a woman who is willing to be a submissive is showing a level of understanding, empathy, respect and love on a whole other level. Or they're just plain nuts.
Had a BDSM experience as a Master/Dom with a submissive chick and it was one of the most liberating, powerful and enthralling experiences of my life. Every Dom needs his Sub.
@@lorihaskins9789 Yes. Now a specialist in providing Master-sub sexual experiences to females looking to explore their deep inner feminine submissive side. Never realised how many females actually do crave it.
@@doesitmatterwhoiam8838 what, for being a sub? Eh, I know a couple of em. And do remind yourself that being a sub is sometimes scary and lots of men feel like they can't express that side of themselves. Of course it's going to go a bit slower
@@grell5108 it was liberating to be a sub too, get to express my vulnerability, to simply be able to ask what my dominant wants (I usually want to please my guys anyway, it's nice to just ask). I love it when I can trust my dominant to make the best decisions for both us, that is so relaxing for me, because I don't have worry about all these things I don't like to think about. I love it when he treats me like a beloved child, with tenderness firm but gentle. I once had a dom like that and I loved wearing his collar. God, I miss him.
I feel like once we get into the descriptions of individual kinks there's a lot lost in the name of exploring fears. Yes, safety is important, but you've forgotten the voluntary nature and how THAT is what is turning on these men; how a woman's enjoyment of the specific acts, not just lack of fear or willingness to let a man dominate them is an important driving factor. For instance, you list the gag as being safe because it means she can no longer criticize him. Your exact words are, "Well, you can imagine that that sort of thing would appeal to a man who fears that women will criticize him. If a man's frightened of what a woman might say about him, what better way to establish a feeling of safety than actually removing her ability to speak." But there's nothing in there that turns him on if he's looking for her voluntary action, her enjoyment of the gag. A more productive agreement would be for her to promise not to speak, yet people still use the gag. There has to be something about the gag for her to enjoy in order for him to be aroused, something from her side. For a second example, you discuss the blindfold and list it once again for safety, when in reality many people enjoy the blindfold because it creates a very spontaneous and teasing atmosphere. If one partner cannot see exactly what is about to happen, the other partner not only has more control but also has the opportunity to be creative and tease, heightening the acts and the relationship. It provides enjoyment, and thus fulfills both the safety AND the arousal. So half of the equation is missing in the observation if you solely look at the specific examples from his side. Could you do another video on why her side is exciting to her and why they work well together naturally, or something similar? After all, safety is where one CAN be aroused, but safety is not the thing that arouses, enjoyment is.
And your comment proves his point. You are seeking validation... even from this video. But this video is not about validation, but it reads in your words that this video is about you too.
I never said it wasn't about validation. = P Goodness you come on strong. My point is that it isn't JUST about fear, because healthy relationships aren't just about safety, they're about positive growth together. And seriously? If my words read about validation, then yours read about trying to step on others. Take your idiocy elsewhere, bud. Enjoy the only reply you'll get from me on this, you're not worth any more time than this.
Ahhh... so you choose the victim mentality to protect yourself. From you I do not expect any time at all from you, it was you that needed to validate yourself by responding... then like a girl you chose to claim a faux closure by that I am not worth any more of your time. That is so cute, but it is not anything a man would do... that is, being cowardly. I do not come on strong so much as you are weak... a pussy. Do not waste your time dealing with the reality of others, but do take the time to correct your weaknesses... your fears... your feminisms.
EternalAzhrei I get what you are saying, it isn't only about fear but I don't think Mr Grace thinks fear of rejection would be the only motivation in that particular example of gagging. He is just giving a possible reasoning for a certain inclination. The purpose of these discussions is to open the door to self exploration and legitimize male sexuality. He is doing a huge service
@@obsideonyx7604Not quite. But, kinda? If you hold a specific lens of perspective, yeah that sort of makes sense as a phrase. But as an idiomatic expression that phrase doesn't seem entirely appropriate here.
So, it's a great theory about why men have the fantasies that they do, but now explain why a books like John Norman's "Gor" series or "50 Shades of Grey" are purchased and read mostly by women.
I've never been into bdsm activities. My girlfriend has got me into spanking and a little dirty talk but it honestly does more for her than me! Sounds like I'm in the minority?
I’m in the same boat man. I’ll go along with it if my girlfriend wants to be choked, pushed up against a wall or spanked but I have no interest in it. Kind of a turn off when she wants it too much but obviously don’t want to look weak haha
@@tbrown837 don't worry about looking "weak" to someone just because you're not turned on by playing certain roles. That's the problem with making blanket statements like "all men have violent urges and are aroused by viewing violence." People in general have violent urges, some more than others, sure. Blanket statements just make people feel shame when they don't align with what is expected of them.
@@tbrown837 I feel you... Should I just focus on those who like the kinda sex I'm into l? I've had the same concerns bc so many I've come across like some type of rough play and if I cant give them that or wanna do it, I feel all self conscious and worry if I come off weak. What do I do here?
Some stuff to me is like well there's someone out there that likes to sub which is so healthy and cool that the bdsm community has that thing for everyone kind of thing
This just helped me a lot. I am a grown ass man,confronted with a girl that wants to submit so me on a level I couln’t handle. This video was my bdsm 101.
This is interesting. Also, what's the lower forms of sexual primalistic nature and whats a higher form of sexual empathetic nature? Can you combine the 2, or will it make a man feel inferior?
That's exactly the explanation I have been searching for. I couldn't explain myself why some men find this arousing and are actively looking for a partner who would accept this kind of practice. For dominant men out there, I would like to know if you actually know why you like this (before this video). If you consciously know about the insecurities or fears that the video shows?
It's 04/19 and this is, maybe, the fourth vid of yours I've watched. I needed to hear this. I haven't been intimate in almost nine years, and I can't take it anymore -- I've got to get out there and find someone to dance with -- your thoughts on these matters is what I needed to hear.
actually i've been thinking of introducing to my husband this kind of fantasy of mine. im afraid he will criticized me, since i was recieving negative response whenever i was joking about it. This is the very reason why i was denying him of intimacy for almost 3 years now. I dont care if he is getting it outside of our marriage now. We are married for 30 years now, and has been my fantasy eversince to have bdsm even before there was a 50 shades movie. i dont where it came from but i have that kind side of my sexuality.
I somewhat disagree about pornography ,as a very regular consumer of it for over 20 years. It's not uncommon for me to encounter a woman in a porn video who isn't enjoying herself on the most mainstream porn sites, in videos that are presented as completely vanilla porn, that is to say non fetish/kink videos . I'll often see a video where it's clear to me that the woman is in pain, but says nothing and pretends there is no issue to finish producing the scene. There are many more videos where it's suspect whether or not the woman is in pain. The most common genre of porn where this occurs is the very standard and polished, Alpha male fucking an Alpha female sort of high production porn. From my eyes It makes sense to assume our current pornography industry is structured so that the woman is incentivized to keep quiet or pretend shes enjoying herself if something is painful, otherwise she may lose work, or have to worry about getting a bad name for herself as being difficult to work with. It's difficult to imagine that the power structures in the porn industry aren't toxic, would be my intuition, as well, but I admit I have not seriously looked into this topic beyond scant reading. I also suspect the treatment of women in porn has massively improved over the years, to be fair to it.
Having children is a huge transformer of energy from the woman to the child. Thus her cup must be kept as full as possible. The man is the one who fills her cup. She wants to express her love to the man and our bodies know that submission is the ultimate give to the other. I believe both partners have that ability and it goes hand in hand with the ability to dominate. This mutual give and take is an expression of oneness and this makes a woman very fertile which is her end goal. Basically by domination and submission the pair can trade enough energy back and forth that you are both now made of the same stuff.
but who's to say you'll have that partner forever what if you lose that person and you're no longer able to act it out with a willing participant? That's why to me it's easier to just let it sleep than awaken such a part to one's self
And end up jailed :D Listen, nowadays a man will be reseated on the plane if he happens to have been allotted a seat next to a child. Because he's automatically a potential rapist. Power over what?
Just from the comments - imo, these videos bring just as much value as the uni/college girls. But yeah good to see some young Bali woman with the same questions :) I think Red Pill Interviews (Alexander Grace) is trying to find a middle ground. Wouldn't it be good if we can get the toxic woman, to see the damage they are doing? Get their shit together! *This video* I had one ex (with her for 4 years) and her fantasy was to be literally raped outside in an alley, from a nightclub. She wanted me to do this and had the exact details down to what G-string she would be wearing etc... Yah.. I stayed with her for that long... #bluepillcuck and no, that didn't turn me on, in-fact it was putrid, so It never happened.. (with me..) But yeah mate, I'll be honest, I don't mind the ties and blindfold ;) I don't feel disempowered nor do I want to dominate. (Safety word lol) It's just... fun :) haha
Thanks Kurt, always glad to see you in the comments. I will be featuring women on the channel but I will specifically seek out interesting women and discussions will be in long format
I'm Dom...I can be in a equal situation but I will not be sub.Unfortunatly I'm shy so until I get a gal in the sack it doesn't come out.In the sack it's all business..
I watched this randomly and i just don't agree. fear is not a thing why some men like to dominate at all.. They just like the feeling of feeling dominant. Simple.. Not out of fear. And they can be switches also.. It's like a dance.. If some men use bdsm out of fear that's weak men. That is my view on this. A mask can be sexy.. tying up can be sexy and so on.. No fears needs to be the cause of people liking that at all. That's my point. It can just be fun and sexy you know. ;) Talk about over analyzing in this video, but its mostly your opinion so yeah, everyone has them. It's mostly a nice feeling of dominance and no fear. So yeah i don't get that part.
I had a woman say to me that she would be my slave for the rest of the night( wed been at it for a couple of hours by then). I said ok, I’m done I’m going to sleep, I have a busy day tomorrow,she seemed surprised so I told her that millions of women have said the same thing to their men over the years. Hey,in for a penny,in for a pound 🤪, I wonder what she’s doing now
Just when I thought I knew it all...this next level shizzle. Much respect Alexander the grate. Been watching for a while and sometimes thought you just had a chip on your shoulder even though you were right about most stuff. And then u go and psycho analise my ass
A freebie from a local lady may be better.. but not holding down a 13 year old while she’s crying. Depends on how you view your cause and what background you came from. Depends on the battle too,.
+Shawn Davie I'm fairly sure after a battle the most fucked up things can happen. You've just slaughtered all the men. You are already in a violent state and both the remaining women and standing men know anything to go forward will never be spoken about EVER again. While I'm sure many of the "rapes" were certainly as dreadful as the word implies I wouldn't be massively surprised if some of the women were secretly, or outright consenting to the act. If no one was to know that you gave into your most terrible desires would you necessarily hold them back? Just to clarify. No I don't condone rape. Rape to the dictionary definition is possibly one of the worst crimes you can commit. It takes a special kind of weakness for a man to ever commit such a crime.
I'm quite dominant IRL, or at least not submissive. I'm always the leader of my pack, and I can almost always shield myself from being dominated by anyone, even those who are in more favourable position than me. I always pay attention to power dynamics in social setting and keep my guards up. Basically I care so much about power but not about controlling other people, it's more about protecting myself from being controlled or submissive to anyone. In bed, however, I'm total submissive (though I can be dominant as well). I prefer submission so much either vanilla or BDSM terms. I favor erotic humiliation and being a submissive servant to my partner. I'm also bisexual so those things apply to both men and women. Why is that possible?
I don't know anything about you, but my guess is it has to do with some kind of powerlessness against someone of the gender(s) you're attracted to at a young age traumatizing you in some way? Maybe you grew up feeling powerless and self-deprecating which, combined with that previous trauma, and perhaps sexual repression, it leads to a fetish about it. It seems to work that way in my life, though I'm actively trying to feed that neuropathway less and less because I know it's not healthy for me (might be different for other people). I've been thinking about this for a while and that's the best I've got right now.
The whole interviewing yourself was cool once or twice, but doing it 50x times is kinda weird. Don't you have a friend and just give them the questions to ask you?
15:22 Power is also contextual. The most powerful man in the world in the realm of hydraulic systems integration engineering may not feel powerful in attracting and pleasing women.
Question....I'm with a sweet smart submissive woman who hasn't said no to any sex act yet. Should I show her this vid and ramp things up or just ramp things up??
@@olivia1uk Thanks but she's already cool with it and talking might take the spice out of it. I'll wait untill I want to get really crazy with her and use it to convince her it's normal and natural :)
Actually, in terms of dominance and submission, especially with professionals, the woman is more commonly dominant with the male submissive. In fact, there is not even a male word for dominatrix. There are a lot more adds in the classifieds by dominatrices than whatever the male equivalent is called. This is also true in porn videos which feature a lot of dominatrices. A lot of rich powerful men pay dominatrices for there services. What probably makes it kinky is that this is a role reversal of their daytime roles where the men are more dominant.
Talking about their fears and anxiety with a mental health therapist would integrate the parts of themselves that they reject. It would prevent many from acting out and causing harm to others, would it not?
Submissive male here (although you would not be able to tell at all outside the bedroom), I think you put down too much to conscious choice, guilty about power etc. I have none of those, quite simply I was born 100% sexually submissive to woman, something I realised at a very early age, it's not something I can change it's hardwired, I cannot dominate women at all sexually, it feels unnatural and doesn't turn me on in the slightest. It's not a great sexuality to have as a man since very few women are sexually dominant, I wish there was some more advice for submissive men since it is quite often a lonely road for many of us. Perhaps an idea for a future video of yours.
I'm a woman and I will say (even if it's 6 years late) that there are a fair amount of us that do enjoy varying amouts of dominance from our men. If youre unsure of how to proceed, try holding her arms down at first and see how she reacts lol
My partners always afraid to make me hurt.. But I really want to get hurt!! They can't do that😭😭very gentle on bed. But out of bed they are so mean and abusive😒😒😒
If that's true at 3 min in I don't feel weird how I feel about men... But I keep that part really dead killed it when I was in my teens. Some of that is so deep it's crazy. And dark. But quite clearly being a small lady would never happen. But it has its desire way way way down there. But I mean of course we all have to normalize ourselves for social standards I wonder if that's why I hate the idea of bdsm as a dominant because I don't want to bring that side out. Because that's way too much way too dark lol. And any man who does well wow. That's all I have to say to that. Don't you worry you'll end up indulging in something that should be kept away?
I love this video, it shines a light on some aspects of male sexuality in an intelligent , clear, non judgemental way. I will be sharing this video and look forward to seeing more content from your Chanel. Well Done ✌🏻
It's so true that our sexual desires reveal the truth of our beliefs. For those who are self aware their is much to learn from this self examination Seems to be the same few people who think they have the right to constantly complain about how you do your channel, and tell you what to make. I feel like many of them just want to hear their worldview confirmed over and over again. Alexander I love your channel and your particular method of creative expression. Do whatever man I love your content.
Thanks brother, much appreciated. I feel I could be more popular by confirming existing belief systems but it would not be authentic or satisfying. Thanks for the support!
Does a rapist feel safe tho? Really curious about the psychology of a rapist, how they get aroused despite or even because of the suffering of the one being raped
I understand that in general most women instinctively are attracted to dominant acting males, but I think that you are doing a disservice to your viewers by suggesting that they dabble in any bedroom practices that are considered to be outside of the norm (like BDSM). Hear me out. First of all, I get the impression that there are not that many people who are into “deviant” or overly adventurous bedroom practices in the first place, so if that is a must-have for you in a partner, then your dating pool of potential suitors is going to be very limited, so in order to find someone who is also into the same unusual practices in the bedroom that you are also into, them you will probably have to settle for someone who is less than ideal for you, as you won’t have much choice otherwise. What if that is the only thing that the two of you have in common? Yea, I know that there are specialized dating websites for people who are into weird and kinky stuff, but apparently those people aren’t finding what they are looking for on those specialized dating sites, ‘cause they are spilling over onto normal dating websites and trying to recruit new members to join them, and many women preemptively reject these guys by putting a line near the top of their profile saying something along the lines of, “I’m not into [blank], so don’t ask! You are on the wrong website, buddy!” It’s harsh when you get rejected before you even ask (Which, in addition, also implies to me that this type of bedroom behavior comes with a built-in social stigma as well; good luck keeping your friends once they find out that you are into weird stuff! Social isolation is often a side effect of being unique.). If you are an extremely handsome or an unusually wealthy man, then maybe you can convince some women to put up with your weird bedroom habits (Christian Grey), but the average guy is probably out of luck. It is a bad idea to paint yourself into a corner relationship-wise where you are forced to take whatever girl that you can get, because if you choices are limited, then you become desperate, and desperate people are open to all kinds of cons and manipulation by women looking to take advantage of your desperation and weakness, ‘cause they know that you have little choice but to put up with her many selfish demands if you want her to turn around and continue to give you what YOU want (because who else is going to?). Obviously the more eccentric your tastes are, the more limited your dating options become, and having a scarcity mindset is a bad place to be, dating-wise. And I get the impression that women who are naturally drawn to unusual bedroom practices are damaged goods, anyway, as they seem to be trying to relive some type of early childhood trauma or abuse, and probably have many emotional problems that you don’t want to deal with. Google “mattress girl” and see what comes up. Apparently she is typical of the kind of women that is into kinky and unusual bedroom practices, such as the kind that involve pain and humiliation. Would you want to date her? And don’t think that you can just dabble into unusual bedroom practices and then go back to normal sex. People who are into behavior that society considers to be deviant often say that they can never go back to “plain vanilla” sex, so obviously certain types of bedroom practices are addictive; once you start down that road, it is hard to turn around and then date a normal person and enjoy a normal relationship with gentle sex. Chances are that you won’t be satisfied with normal ever again. [edit] www.nationalreview.com/2017/05/mattress-girl-emma-sulkowicz-pathetic-journey-provocateur/
What I noticed with my experience of women is … most women want to get Graped by the man they like .. they want man to have total control and they just want to be passenger
replaces most women with ALL. This is built in human nature fetish in every women, to be graped, cut, humiliated, choked. All fetishes are built among this one, being dominated, and its opposite in males, they want to stick their dick in every hole alive or not, same species or not. etc.
I see most of these desires be brought up by women, I never had this I learned majority of women prefer this... this comes from female end imo... 50 shades was most read book of the year due to women... not men... 🤔
And the Romance genre is the best selling genre of books... also due to women... to the tune of about 1.4 billion a year. To put that into perspective... Crime/Mystery is the second most popular (also largely purchased by women, funny enough) at about half of romance. What I can assume from that? Women want excitement... which makes me want to watch True Lies. lol
Women of the scores of years before today have not a clue what they want, but they do know what others say that they should want. Oh oh... another medical disorder for women so they never have to fix themselves.
Mr. Alexander...I am absolutely loving all the critical analysis with all the scientific facts . This series on male sexuality is ABSOLUTE GOLD Trust me on this one...Here I find such wonderful content I don't find anywhere else. Keep it up !!
How about the opposite view that men who prefer the submissive role and are aroused by dominatrices are also afraid of women because they fear rejection and are trying to integrate this into their sexuality.
I'd like to give my opinion about this topic since I'm a woman and person who enjoys bdsm relationships. I can say I practice some forms of bdsm with my boyfriend and it makes me feel so connected and loved by him. It's also kind of a tabu where we come from, people is not opened minded about these stuff but I can say is the most healthy relationship I've ever had. He feels free to explore his sexuality with me, as he feels, as you said, 'SAFE' because I love him a lot and I love his ideas and we share lots of fantasies. He's the most kind and lovable man I've ever met and because of the way he treats me and loves me, I feel so happy to please him and letting him dominate me is what I love the most.
it's weird everything you guys say you got I got as well lol. I mean it makes sense considering I'm male minded I've gone to therapists who diagnosed me with dysphoria twice and told me they couldn't help me. But anyway most of the time I try to ignore that. But whenever it comes to specific things it always falls into the other category it's like I'm a freemartinized cow basically lol
Just a reminder that the name of the channel will be changed to Alexander Grace very soon. I will be changing the format of the videos but I won’t be returning to interview women on the street. When I do interview women, it will be in long form discussion format. I will also experiment with talking straight to the camera. Lots of changes.
I understand some people want a return to the old interviews but it won’t happen because it got boring for me. I want to go into depth and make content that is intellectually challenging. There is nothing stopping you from grabbing a camera and heading out to the street yourselves, go for it. I’ll even link people to your channel.
I do ask that you now come to terms with the fact that the channel has changed. While I understand you might be disappointed, I now ask that you quietly exit and watch different channels rather than complain about how this one has changed. From now, if all you do is post negative comments complaining, I will consider it trolling and remove the comments because I want the comment section to be a place for genuine discussion.
Thanks so much for all the support from people who like the new content, it’s been great to get personal emails from people who like my work. I’ve got some changes coming that Im very excited about and I’m sure you will enjoy too.
Damn, I just commented that It'd be good seeing some Bali woman with the same questions!! lol But I will support this channel as I know you are trying to actually help.
Haven't seen a vid I didn't like or get some insight from. Keep it up, mate!
Just some feedback, can you mirror your videos and turn on echo cancellation or room correction with your mic?
XGoldenPhoenixX Spot on👌 ... The girls just get hate on in the video regardless what they say. You cannot change the hardcore minds of some.. Instead of hating, maybe we should just acknowledge our faults and find answers!....
Kurt Cumming. Yes I agree! And that's exactly what he's doing with his new videos, which is great! The ones who complain are not interested in anything really, but to complain about women haha
People are so resistant to change its ridicolous. As if you would try to intentionally make your channel worse. I'm sure 99% of the complainers will like your new content as much, if not more, than your old content. If they give it an open mind, that is. Me personally, I'm stoked and cant wait to see what you are currently brewing up. I'm sure it will be excellent either way! Cheers from Germany ~Andy
I love the concept of your channel keep up the great work.
Thanks Methane. I appreciate the kind words
To be dominent wile caring for the woman well being is one thing, to want to hurt or humilliate a woman is a criminal tendancie manifest by Sadism in bdsm wile avoiding going to jail . What is told here is garbage that can take you to jail exept if the masochist is a client paying to be hurt and humilliate and doing so is self-arming: hurting oneself to suppress a bigger psychological pain. That could lead to worst.
Most women like to be dominated. It has nothing to do with my insecurities it has to do with feeding her desires
🎯 This so much! As a sub I don't want an insecure Dom who flees his emotions and fears and will vent his frustration on me. I want a confident Dom that is well in his skin, with control AND self control, not a self conscious ticking bomb that could blow in my face if I look a bit too much at his love handles! From my point of view this is scary and a big red flag. Be relaxed and confident and I will trust and follow you. If you're not there yet, seek a therapist and solve your problem. Then we'll talk again later.
@@mystisith3984 Ikr!? The fearless self-confidence and take charge attitude is where all of the appeal lies. That's what brings out the woman...the feminine submissive side of a female. A woman Needs to be shown who's boss. And that natural polarization is what makes it work.
Excellent!
Not me I find dominant man so selfish abusif I love my sub 😊❤
I think you can switch to just talking to a camera now...
Seminko no. This is what makes him dope.
.....well he eventually did..
No, I like this format.
Yeah IKR, it was funny the first time 😂
He should do one where he is talking to a shampoo bottle while taking a shower
(Censored from the waist down, obliviously)
I like this video. When I started dating my partner, i asked him what his sexual preferences were and he was pretty feminine and hesitant to say what he wanted. I'm really submissive and I knew he was really dominant but hadn't discovered it for himself. Naturally, me being really submissive made him take the lead and now he loves it. He admitted to me that he felt like he was using women if he did that and it was wrong.
Yeahhh it's awful how sex is so taboo. Sexual education is essential and it's literally human nature. It should be spoken about more
This is equivalient of i forced my girlfriend to do other hole because i knew she wanted it, we did it only in that hole every time until she started to like it. You are psychopath.
We need more women like you.
I got one that did the same for me. I was always good in bed and did plenty of things but always felt like it was disrespectful because my dad's prejudices as it turns out he doesn't know a damn thing about women or sex and is incredibly insecure so he just made an excuse yo hide it.
I honestly and completely disagree that violence and sex are connected. It is also true that soldiers found themselves becoming physically aroused during intense physical struggle for their lives and felt EXTREME hidden guilt and PTSD... this also does not make sexuality and killing linked/associated merely because chemicals (I’m a veteran).
As I understand it, the association of these two are actually the profile used to characterize rapists and this is why movies depicting violence and sex together are ban from movies in Australia, as I understand it. I would highly caution this train of thought and encourage a thorough investigation with professionals before offering advice to men on the topic.
You're exactly right! My my wife and I were very sexually active When We Were Young and eventually she got to the point she didn't want to have sex at all so after about two years of no sex we were talking about it and of course once again she was rejecting it so I became aggressive with her and start kissing on her neck aggressively and doing other things and she kept saying stop why are you doing that I told her to shut up and she eventually got quiet and began to enjoy it and next thing I know she was begging for me to be in her it may have been the best sex we had ever had
You Too wow good thing that story had a happy ending haha
@@mattbabb. was thinking the same thing lol
@@mattbabb. Happy ending 😂
Never heard someone explain this concept so thoroughly. The irony is fascinating
Irony?
It actually sounds gross. Like revolting.
@@mindflayer0319 What sounds gross and revolting?
@@Juubelimies The whole thing.
One of the reasons blindfolds are fun is how they allow the blindfolded person to be more in-the-moment rather than anticipating based on what they are seeing. Take away sight and the other senses become more poignant
I enjoy both being blindfolded and experiencing a partner's enjoyment of being blindfolded. I suspect a lot of BDSM and other sexual things work this way: people have reasons to enjoy doing them to someone, to enjoy having it done to them, and to enjoy the other person's enjoyment
I love these back and forth videosbecause you ask the questions that the viewers ourselves are not able to ask in the making of the video
Can you pleas explain the psychology of dominance and submittion of women ? Especially why some women want to be dominants
Speaking as a switch, I love the idea of seeing a big, strong man kneel before me. The power gives me a high. I love hurting people and seeing my marks on them. It's a possession thing I guess. I also have a feminisation kink. Basically forcing a macho man tao wear female clothing and makeup and I'd call him things like pretty pet, little sl*t etc. (consensually). It's thrilling to control someone that powerful, men tend to be bigger and stronger than me so to get them to the point of begging, seeing them submit to me and seeing how I hurt them is a sort of trophy. I did that, I defeated him, I brought him to his knees.
@@grell5108 Please seek Help.
@@blueyzblue6391 nope, already got mental help. And kink isn't a mental or physical illness, so how in the nine hells could she have "helped" me. The only way something like kink becomes a mental illness is when someone displays a disregard for their own or others' wellbeing (usually end up in jail) or they dislike the thoughts they have (intrusive thoughts). And since I have neither problem (technically I have intrusive thoughts about being buried alive, but like I said, I got help) in my kink life I don't in fact need it. And the psychologists seem to agree. And there is also the fact that studies show kinksters generally have a better level of wellbeing than their vanilla peers.
@@grell5108 Lie to yourself if you want.
@@blueyzblue6391 hhmmm, so the psychologists are lying, I am lying, the science is lying...
Mmmm, have you ever thought that _you_ may be the one who's lying. Or at least have no idea what you're talking about.🤔
You spoke a lot about the dominant side of things.
Now I'm not quit your target audience, as a gay and very submissive man who likes to step into the more feminine role in relationships, but I think I can speak to a lot of what most submissives get out of this whole experience.
DISCLAIMER: As already mentoned a few times in the video, BDSM is always about the individual. Everyone will have different expectations and experiences. Talk to your partner about it *a lot*, if you think about trying this out.
**Aspect 1: Rules & Trust-Building** (and also an exercise in communication)
While it might not be entirely intuitive at first glance, it's all about trust and safety. Not always in the immidiate acts themself, but on a bigger scale for the whole relationship.
For the submissive, the ruleset is the safety net, we let ourself "fall into your hands" and whenever we feel like we're falling too far, the safety net is there to catch us.
The common ruleset is basically "Safe Sane Consensual" and the (often two) safewords. I'll explain it shortly(look up more about it if you're interested)
Safe is rather obvious, what is being played out should not lead to longterm harm or anything worse. (medical complications or death, also keep mental health aspects in mind)
Sane means, all agreements are made while you're not intoxicated and ideally wide awake and aware. Sure, you can be drunk or on drugs when you actually play it out, but it's always a good idea to talk about it first while you're sober.
Consensual, well, I don't think much needs to be said here.
And the two safeword system is so the submissive can always clearly communicate whenever something that is happening does not sit right with them.
Safeword 1: Hold it, we need to talk about something I'm not totally comfortable with.
Safeword 2: Stop everything, I'm extremely uncomfortable with what is happening and I want to stop. (Often also involves the request to get someone out of bondage/cuffs/bindings.)
Also one common system is the trafficlight, which is often used for quick communication about suggestions.
Grean: "I like what's being suggested, you may do that to me"
Yellow: "I'm unsure about the suggestion, maybe we should talk about it or go into more detail"
Red: ""Definitely don't do that to me, I'm not okay with that"
Now here is why it is so important. In most cases of BDSM-Scenes or similar kind of intimate interaction, a submissive will give up a big part of their autonomy to their partner, and depending on what agreements have been made, all their struggle or denial that is not communicated through an established safeword might be disregarded.
If that is agreed upon, that is fine, and can even feel very liberating for a submissive. You can pretend to be fighting against whats happening to you and/or enjoy playing out parts of a rape-fantasy
So at this point the submissive has put a lot of trust into the dominant partner, hoping to be treated well or mistreated in the agreed upon ways. And if the dominant partner acts within the rules and quickly reacts to any used safewords, even if the submissive partner has been uncomfortable with something in the shortterm, it will reinforce their trust in the dominant partner.
The kind of trust that is built this way can last way past a played out scene and enrich a relationship on a very deep level.
And I hope this has made it very clear for everyone: Do not ignore the rules you agreed upon. You will break the trust within your relationship, and this will definitely follow you past the playtime/scene.
**Aspect 2: Pushing Boundaries & Self-Discovery**
This kind of environment can act as a safe space for a couple and especially the submissive partner to push or be pushed in/past their boundaries.
We are often not sure how much of a fantasy we really want to translate into the real world. Many things have to be experienced before you really know how you feel about it.
It is very common that a submissive wants to be pushed past their zone of comfort, see how far they are willing to pushed, maybe find that they enjoy something a lot more then they thought they would.
Quite often it might even happen that at first the submissive still wants to deny having enjoyed something, maybe because shamed of it, but there might be other reasons too, and they will have the easy out to say "I did this because my partner pushed me to do it, I don't think I want to do it again" and after that take all the time to need to work through your feelings on it. Maybe you'll want to do it again, maybe not. Maybe you didn't like it at all, but are still glad to have made the experience.
**Aspect 3: Pleasing Your Partner**
I know this does not go for everyone, but quite a few submissive people just deeply enjoy being the target of their partners desires that can't be acted out under other circumstances.
There are people out there who will gain happines from the knowledge that they have made you happy.
So please, dear dominants, if that is what your sumbissive wants, it's okay to act absolutely selfish for that time, without guilts and doubts.If needed you can reciprocate the favour later (during aftercare).
There is still a lot to be said about how this can be used to strengthen a relationship, the reciprocal mechanisms that can be had through this. e.g. a "homemaker" might like to submit to the dominant partner often to reciprocate for all the effort of the "breadwinner". A traditional relationship with a bit of a BDSM twist. There are definitely people who would feel fulfilled in roles like this.
Maybe a video about this would be a good idea? Find a (or a few) sumbissive women to ask questions about this. (I mean, I'll also be happy to answer questions, but as a man myself, that's maybe a bit beside the channel topics? Maybe not, I'm not entirely sure.)
Cheers~ (I didn't proofread, I hope its fine)
Gave me more insight...thankyou
Yeah...but, like...Wouldn't you rather have a partner who wasn't a sadist? Who got-off on SEX and NICE, GOOD things? Doesn't sadism seem anti-social and pathological? SOMEtHING that needs to be healed rather than indulged?
A guy feels powerless all day...THAT'S A PROBLEM. Resorting to hurting another being for feelings of power and validation to COPE WITH THIS PROBLEM...seems pathological to me! So, like...don't you feel at all like supporting and indulging pathology is a sickness itself? I Apologize. I AM A Little bitter here. These are honest questions that no-one seems able to answer so far. They just get angry and avoidant.
@@TheHelladood you can like both, and be well rounded. What Alexander explored is why it's even more appealing in some situations (when someone usually feel powerless and all). Furthermore the dynamic leader/follower is really interesting, especially for building trust. Not one role have it easy, you may think the leader have it easy, but there's a big difference between being a bad and a good leader. And for the follower, giving in can be tough. Once the setup is done tho, it makes things much smoother, a democracy of two equal votes is doomed to face constant status quo.
@@TIOLIOfficial old coment. I assure you I watched the video. Care to elaborate? I don't just will-nilly say things just to say therm (or type, whatever.) Tell me what is stupid about my comment and I can try to explain to you how it relates or why it's relevant. I don't evern remeber what the video says. No need to be bristle-y friend.
man, i just discovered your channel a day ago, and i must say , the work you're doing is fabulous. You really have a gift to explain psychology, so clear !! thank so much for the work , you've made me understand so much !! gratitude and respect from france ! keep it up !
im from france too
Keep up the good work and do what you know is right. Don't worry about the haters because they will always be there
I started this video before leaving by car and i was so confused because the voices of the interviewer and the guest were the same.
If you would like a idea to switch up, perhaps display the questions /argument on screen with text and you speak to the camera and reply. You can also add pictures and music to provide immersion and atmosphere. Not being critical, just trying to be helpful.
I love that my husband is dominate. Not in a mean way, or demeaning. Strong and passionate.
I'm a guy and I like being submissive, but I don't feel powerful in my day to day life, it's more of the opposite so how would you explain me ?
At the risk of reducing complexity to simplicity for those professionals in the sex therapy trade. An incompatability of perversions is a leading cause of relationship failures. Given that the overwhelming evidence for sex among all life forms that engage in it is for reproduction, not pleasure,makes a large percentage of us perverts. So choose wisely
Thank you for the insights into all of this and giving me a basic framework to understand why my sexual partner is into so much of this yet it has little effect on my interests. Something I can now talk about with them easier.
Exactly what I wanted to achieve. So glad it helped.
B&D is ok.... But being aroused by hurting someone or veing hurt..... Is a mental disorder..... Unless its a playful spanking over my lap.... But that's a "DADDY" issue that might need to be addressed by a professional... Or some role-playing a professional.. 😜
This was fascinating to learn about, thank you. I had no idea the subject was so complex. It seems to me, from your analysis, that a woman who is willing to be a submissive is showing a level of understanding, empathy, respect and love on a whole other level. Or they're just plain nuts.
youve gotta watch the 'my non leather life' channel - it's fascinating
Had a BDSM experience as a Master/Dom with a submissive chick and it was one of the most liberating, powerful and enthralling experiences of my life. Every Dom needs his Sub.
Lmao really
@@lorihaskins9789 Yes. Now a specialist in providing Master-sub sexual experiences to females looking to explore their deep inner feminine submissive side. Never realised how many females actually do crave it.
Every sub needs a Dom. Unfortunately, most the men I know don't have balls to do it.
@@doesitmatterwhoiam8838 what, for being a sub? Eh, I know a couple of em. And do remind yourself that being a sub is sometimes scary and lots of men feel like they can't express that side of themselves. Of course it's going to go a bit slower
@@grell5108 it was liberating to be a sub too, get to express my vulnerability, to simply be able to ask what my dominant wants (I usually want to please my guys anyway, it's nice to just ask). I love it when I can trust my dominant to make the best decisions for both us, that is so relaxing for me, because I don't have worry about all these things I don't like to think about. I love it when he treats me like a beloved child, with tenderness firm but gentle. I once had a dom like that and I loved wearing his collar. God, I miss him.
I feel like once we get into the descriptions of individual kinks there's a lot lost in the name of exploring fears. Yes, safety is important, but you've forgotten the voluntary nature and how THAT is what is turning on these men; how a woman's enjoyment of the specific acts, not just lack of fear or willingness to let a man dominate them is an important driving factor.
For instance, you list the gag as being safe because it means she can no longer criticize him. Your exact words are, "Well, you can imagine that that sort of thing would appeal to a man who fears that women will criticize him. If a man's frightened of what a woman might say about him, what better way to establish a feeling of safety than actually removing her ability to speak." But there's nothing in there that turns him on if he's looking for her voluntary action, her enjoyment of the gag. A more productive agreement would be for her to promise not to speak, yet people still use the gag. There has to be something about the gag for her to enjoy in order for him to be aroused, something from her side.
For a second example, you discuss the blindfold and list it once again for safety, when in reality many people enjoy the blindfold because it creates a very spontaneous and teasing atmosphere. If one partner cannot see exactly what is about to happen, the other partner not only has more control but also has the opportunity to be creative and tease, heightening the acts and the relationship. It provides enjoyment, and thus fulfills both the safety AND the arousal.
So half of the equation is missing in the observation if you solely look at the specific examples from his side. Could you do another video on why her side is exciting to her and why they work well together naturally, or something similar? After all, safety is where one CAN be aroused, but safety is not the thing that arouses, enjoyment is.
And your comment proves his point. You are seeking validation... even from this video. But this video is not about validation, but it reads in your words that this video is about you too.
I never said it wasn't about validation. = P Goodness you come on strong. My point is that it isn't JUST about fear, because healthy relationships aren't just about safety, they're about positive growth together.
And seriously? If my words read about validation, then yours read about trying to step on others. Take your idiocy elsewhere, bud. Enjoy the only reply you'll get from me on this, you're not worth any more time than this.
Ahhh... so you choose the victim mentality to protect yourself. From you I do not expect any time at all from you, it was you that needed to validate yourself by responding... then like a girl you chose to claim a faux closure by that I am not worth any more of your time. That is so cute, but it is not anything a man would do... that is, being cowardly.
I do not come on strong so much as you are weak... a pussy. Do not waste your time dealing with the reality of others, but do take the time to correct your weaknesses... your fears... your feminisms.
EternalAzhrei
I get what you are saying, it isn't only about fear but I don't think Mr Grace thinks fear of rejection would be the only motivation in that particular example of gagging. He is just giving a possible reasoning for a certain inclination. The purpose of these discussions is to open the door to self exploration and legitimize male sexuality. He is doing a huge service
Fair enough. He doesn't think it's just fear, he's simply outlining how the fear propels someone to that action first. Thank you for explaining.
Mix tenderness with dominance, and I will be yours until the end of time.
The Noble Savage
@@obsideonyx7604Not quite. But, kinda? If you hold a specific lens of perspective, yeah that sort of makes sense as a phrase. But as an idiomatic expression that phrase doesn't seem entirely appropriate here.
So, it's a great theory about why men have the fantasies that they do, but now explain why a books like John Norman's "Gor" series or "50 Shades of Grey" are purchased and read mostly by women.
I think its because its from the view point of anastasia
I've never been into bdsm activities. My girlfriend has got me into spanking and a little dirty talk but it honestly does more for her than me!
Sounds like I'm in the minority?
Karl Humphreys give it more time. You might get more into it. But maybe not!!
I’m in the same boat man. I’ll go along with it if my girlfriend wants to be choked, pushed up against a wall or spanked but I have no interest in it. Kind of a turn off when she wants it too much but obviously don’t want to look weak haha
@@tbrown837 don't worry about looking "weak" to someone just because you're not turned on by playing certain roles. That's the problem with making blanket statements like "all men have violent urges and are aroused by viewing violence." People in general have violent urges, some more than others, sure. Blanket statements just make people feel shame when they don't align with what is expected of them.
@@tbrown837 I feel you... Should I just focus on those who like the kinda sex I'm into l?
I've had the same concerns bc so many I've come across like some type of rough play and if I cant give them that or wanna do it, I feel all self conscious and worry if I come off weak. What do I do here?
Can just be that your sexualy blant and like basic sex. Or you never explored your fetishes.
Some stuff to me is like well there's someone out there that likes to sub which is so healthy and cool that the bdsm community has that thing for everyone kind of thing
This just helped me a lot. I am a grown ass man,confronted with a girl that wants to submit so me on a level I couln’t handle. This video was my bdsm 101.
Your a coward 😂😂
@@StaaaaNzHD not really. When you get metoo'd don't cry too hard in court 🤣
This is interesting. Also, what's the lower forms of sexual primalistic nature and whats a higher form of sexual empathetic nature? Can you combine the 2, or will it make a man feel inferior?
That's exactly the explanation I have been searching for. I couldn't explain myself why some men find this arousing and are actively looking for a partner who would accept this kind of practice. For dominant men out there, I would like to know if you actually know why you like this (before this video). If you consciously know about the insecurities or fears that the video shows?
It's 04/19 and this is, maybe, the fourth vid of yours I've watched. I needed to hear this. I haven't been intimate in almost nine years, and I can't take it anymore -- I've got to get out there and find someone to dance with -- your thoughts on these matters is what I needed to hear.
actually i've been thinking of introducing to my husband this kind of fantasy of mine. im afraid he will criticized me, since i was recieving negative response whenever i was joking about it. This is the very reason why i was denying him of intimacy for almost 3 years now. I dont care if he is getting it outside of our marriage now. We are married for 30 years now, and has been my fantasy eversince to have bdsm even before there was a 50 shades movie. i dont where it came from but i have that kind side of my sexuality.
I somewhat disagree about pornography ,as a very regular consumer of it for over 20 years. It's not uncommon for me to encounter a woman in a porn video who isn't enjoying herself on the most mainstream porn sites, in videos that are presented as completely vanilla porn, that is to say non fetish/kink videos . I'll often see a video where it's clear to me that the woman is in pain, but says nothing and pretends there is no issue to finish producing the scene. There are many more videos where it's suspect whether or not the woman is in pain. The most common genre of porn where this occurs is the very standard and polished, Alpha male fucking an Alpha female sort of high production porn. From my eyes It makes sense to assume our current pornography industry is structured so that the woman is incentivized to keep quiet or pretend shes enjoying herself if something is painful, otherwise she may lose work, or have to worry about getting a bad name for herself as being difficult to work with. It's difficult to imagine that the power structures in the porn industry aren't toxic, would be my intuition, as well, but I admit I have not seriously looked into this topic beyond scant reading. I also suspect the treatment of women in porn has massively improved over the years, to be fair to it.
Answering a question in the final of the video.
Yes, I think that my taste for BDSM can be related with fear..
Having children is a huge transformer of energy from the woman to the child. Thus her cup must be kept as full as possible. The man is the one who fills her cup. She wants to express her love to the man and our bodies know that submission is the ultimate give to the other. I believe both partners have that ability and it goes hand in hand with the ability to dominate. This mutual give and take is an expression of oneness and this makes a woman very fertile which is her end goal. Basically by domination and submission the pair can trade enough energy back and forth that you are both now made of the same stuff.
Why not just say people like being naughty?
but who's to say you'll have that partner forever what if you lose that person and you're no longer able to act it out with a willing participant? That's why to me it's easier to just let it sleep than awaken such a part to one's self
Men should exhibit more power and force fulness I think anyway but that's only my opinion 😕🤔🙄
Yep
And end up jailed :D
Listen, nowadays a man will be reseated on the plane if he happens to have been allotted a seat next to a child. Because he's automatically a potential rapist.
Power over what?
Jai Shree Ram💪🏼😎⚔️🚩
@@dalitshiv834 Ram Ram bhai 😂😂🚩🚩
What a handsome man. Many girls can fall for this masculine blue eyes and chest hair
Very good information. It explains a lot.
I'm a male in my mid thirties and none of these BDSM turn me on too much. I enjoy just a regular sex - is that normal?
Just from the comments - imo, these videos bring just as much value as the uni/college girls. But yeah good to see some young Bali woman with the same questions :)
I think Red Pill Interviews (Alexander Grace) is trying to find a middle ground. Wouldn't it be good if we can get the toxic woman, to see the damage they are doing? Get their shit together!
*This video* I had one ex (with her for 4 years) and her fantasy was to be literally raped outside in an alley, from a nightclub. She wanted me to do this and had the exact details down to what G-string she would be wearing etc... Yah.. I stayed with her for that long... #bluepillcuck and no, that didn't turn me on, in-fact it was putrid, so It never happened.. (with me..)
But yeah mate, I'll be honest, I don't mind the ties and blindfold ;) I don't feel disempowered nor do I want to dominate. (Safety word lol) It's just... fun :) haha
Thanks Kurt, always glad to see you in the comments. I will be featuring women on the channel but I will specifically seek out interesting women and discussions will be in long format
Thats good to hear man. Especially when you drop these Saturday morning (my time). Looking forward to it!
I'm Dom...I can be in a equal situation but I will not be sub.Unfortunatly I'm shy so until I get a gal in the sack it doesn't come out.In the sack it's all business..
I watched this randomly and i just don't agree. fear is not a thing why some men like to dominate at all.. They just like the feeling of feeling dominant. Simple.. Not out of fear. And they can be switches also.. It's like a dance.. If some men use bdsm out of fear that's weak men. That is my view on this. A mask can be sexy.. tying up can be sexy and so on.. No fears needs to be the cause of people liking that at all. That's my point. It can just be fun and sexy you know. ;) Talk about over analyzing in this video, but its mostly your opinion so yeah, everyone has them. It's mostly a nice feeling of dominance and no fear. So yeah i don't get that part.
based
I had a woman say to me that she would be my slave for the rest of the night( wed been at it for a couple of hours by then). I said ok, I’m done I’m going to sleep, I have a busy day tomorrow,she seemed surprised so I told her that millions of women have said the same thing to their men over the years.
Hey,in for a penny,in for a pound 🤪, I wonder what she’s doing now
Just wow
Lmaooo not all men loves submissive women 🤣
@@vennapermatasari8783 i love submissive women 😾
Just when I thought I knew it all...this next level shizzle. Much respect Alexander the grate. Been watching for a while and sometimes thought you just had a chip on your shoulder even though you were right about most stuff. And then u go and psycho analise my ass
I’m skeptical of the natural inclination to rape women after a battle.. I don’t see a connection.
Personally, after battle, I'd want to go out and get shitfaced with the bros. Maybe it's my old Viking genes speaking.
A freebie from a local lady may be better.. but not holding down a 13 year old while she’s crying. Depends on how you view your cause and what background you came from. Depends on the battle too,.
+Shawn Davie I'm fairly sure after a battle the most fucked up things can happen. You've just slaughtered all the men. You are already in a violent state and both the remaining women and standing men know anything to go forward will never be spoken about EVER again. While I'm sure many of the "rapes" were certainly as dreadful as the word implies I wouldn't be massively surprised if some of the women were secretly, or outright consenting to the act. If no one was to know that you gave into your most terrible desires would you necessarily hold them back?
Just to clarify. No I don't condone rape. Rape to the dictionary definition is possibly one of the worst crimes you can commit. It takes a special kind of weakness for a man to ever commit such a crime.
Physical arousal of any kind can lead to sexual arousal
Do you have video about why women accept and enjoy being submissive
This video is so eye-opening! Thank you!
I'm quite dominant IRL, or at least not submissive. I'm always the leader of my pack, and I can almost always shield myself from being dominated by anyone, even those who are in more favourable position than me. I always pay attention to power dynamics in social setting and keep my guards up. Basically I care so much about power but not about controlling other people, it's more about protecting myself from being controlled or submissive to anyone.
In bed, however, I'm total submissive (though I can be dominant as well). I prefer submission so much either vanilla or BDSM terms. I favor erotic humiliation and being a submissive servant to my partner. I'm also bisexual so those things apply to both men and women.
Why is that possible?
VERY insightful. Now tell me about why I like submission which by the way, I am ashamed to enjoy. Soooo?
I don't know anything about you, but my guess is it has to do with some kind of powerlessness against someone of the gender(s) you're attracted to at a young age traumatizing you in some way? Maybe you grew up feeling powerless and self-deprecating which, combined with that previous trauma, and perhaps sexual repression, it leads to a fetish about it. It seems to work that way in my life, though I'm actively trying to feed that neuropathway less and less because I know it's not healthy for me (might be different for other people). I've been thinking about this for a while and that's the best I've got right now.
The whole interviewing yourself was cool once or twice, but doing it 50x times is kinda weird. Don't you have a friend and just give them the questions to ask you?
nigga it's cost efficient
Blast From The Past
i like this format a lot.
delete this comment please. these are easily his best videos
Saul Silver nah lots of people seem to agree with me. Get a friend to ask the questions.
Blast From The Past youre getting an ego because your comment got 24 likes get aids. these are his best vids
15:22
Power is also contextual. The most powerful man in the world in the realm of hydraulic systems integration engineering may not feel powerful in attracting and pleasing women.
I wanna start a channel like this on spirituality :)
Check out Ryan Cropper.
Spirituality is horseshit
Question....I'm with a sweet smart submissive woman who hasn't said no to any sex act yet. Should I show her this vid and ramp things up or just ramp things up??
@@olivia1uk Thanks but she's already cool with it and talking might take the spice out of it. I'll wait untill I want to get really crazy with her and use it to convince her it's normal and natural :)
I'm a woman and I like being the dominant one. I guess I'm in the minority.
How to spot someone like you?
Same here
Actually, in terms of dominance and submission, especially with professionals, the woman is more commonly dominant with the male submissive. In fact, there is not even a male word for dominatrix. There are a lot more adds in the classifieds by dominatrices than whatever the male equivalent is called. This is also true in porn videos which feature a lot of dominatrices. A lot of rich powerful men pay dominatrices for there services. What probably makes it kinky is that this is a role reversal of their daytime roles where the men are more dominant.
Talking about their fears and anxiety with a mental health therapist would integrate the parts of themselves that they reject. It would prevent many from acting out and causing harm to others, would it not?
Submissive male here (although you would not be able to tell at all outside the bedroom), I think you put down too much to conscious choice, guilty about power etc. I have none of those, quite simply I was born 100% sexually submissive to woman, something I realised at a very early age, it's not something I can change it's hardwired, I cannot dominate women at all sexually, it feels unnatural and doesn't turn me on in the slightest. It's not a great sexuality to have as a man since very few women are sexually dominant, I wish there was some more advice for submissive men since it is quite often a lonely road for many of us. Perhaps an idea for a future video of yours.
I didnt really consider degradation and dehumanizing plays a huge inti sexuality enjoyment..
You are the best dom and you don't even know it, but I am a man and wish to be with you sir!!!!1
I'm a woman and I will say (even if it's 6 years late) that there are a fair amount of us that do enjoy varying amouts of dominance from our men. If youre unsure of how to proceed, try holding her arms down at first and see how she reacts lol
What if you feel safe no matter what?
This was good. Have you done one about the female psychology behind enjoying it?
Please make interview of other random people, the way you used to do it.
My partners always afraid to make me hurt.. But I really want to get hurt!! They can't do that😭😭very gentle on bed. But out of bed they are so mean and abusive😒😒😒
Did you tell your partner
I love this video I always come back to it
♥️♥️ very nice video thank you
An interesting amount of commercials....
If that's true at 3 min in I don't feel weird how I feel about men... But I keep that part really dead killed it when I was in my teens. Some of that is so deep it's crazy. And dark. But quite clearly being a small lady would never happen. But it has its desire way way way down there. But I mean of course we all have to normalize ourselves for social standards I wonder if that's why I hate the idea of bdsm as a dominant because I don't want to bring that side out. Because that's way too much way too dark lol. And any man who does well wow. That's all I have to say to that. Don't you worry you'll end up indulging in something that should be kept away?
Snowflakes and feminists meltdown at 3....2....1....
My brain hurts. I wonder if I’m a psychopath or not human. I still cannot understand any of this.
Finally! Ive been looking for a video that describes this! I love bdsm and always wondered the phycology of certain kinks! Thank u!
This is really good kid. Good work!
You're a good kid :)
Its good that you guys part your hair on opposite sides otherwise I'd confuse the two of you and not know who's who
Look colour T-shirt😂
But what about women's perspective to this topic?
I love this video, it shines a light on some aspects of male sexuality in an intelligent , clear, non judgemental way. I will be sharing this video and look forward to seeing more content from your Chanel. Well Done ✌🏻
BDSM = Psychopathia
It's so true that our sexual desires reveal the truth of our beliefs. For those who are self aware their is much to learn from this self examination
Seems to be the same few people who think they have the right to constantly complain about how you do your channel, and tell you what to make. I feel like many of them just want to hear their worldview confirmed over and over again. Alexander I love your channel and your particular method of creative expression. Do whatever man I love your content.
Thanks brother, much appreciated. I feel I could be more popular by confirming existing belief systems but it would not be authentic or satisfying. Thanks for the support!
Does a rapist feel safe tho? Really curious about the psychology of a rapist, how they get aroused despite or even because of the suffering of the one being raped
Thanks for this video . really it answered a lot of questions that I had .
U sub?
I understand that in general most women instinctively are attracted to dominant acting males, but I think that you are doing a disservice to your viewers by suggesting that they dabble in any bedroom practices that are considered to be outside of the norm (like BDSM). Hear me out.
First of all, I get the impression that there are not that many people who are into “deviant” or overly adventurous bedroom practices in the first place, so if that is a must-have for you in a partner, then your dating pool of potential suitors is going to be very limited, so in order to find someone who is also into the same unusual practices in the bedroom that you are also into, them you will probably have to settle for someone who is less than ideal for you, as you won’t have much choice otherwise. What if that is the only thing that the two of you have in common? Yea, I know that there are specialized dating websites for people who are into weird and kinky stuff, but apparently those people aren’t finding what they are looking for on those specialized dating sites, ‘cause they are spilling over onto normal dating websites and trying to recruit new members to join them, and many women preemptively reject these guys by putting a line near the top of their profile saying something along the lines of, “I’m not into [blank], so don’t ask! You are on the wrong website, buddy!” It’s harsh when you get rejected before you even ask (Which, in addition, also implies to me that this type of bedroom behavior comes with a built-in social stigma as well; good luck keeping your friends once they find out that you are into weird stuff! Social isolation is often a side effect of being unique.).
If you are an extremely handsome or an unusually wealthy man, then maybe you can convince some women to put up with your weird bedroom habits (Christian Grey), but the average guy is probably out of luck. It is a bad idea to paint yourself into a corner relationship-wise where you are forced to take whatever girl that you can get, because if you choices are limited, then you become desperate, and desperate people are open to all kinds of cons and manipulation by women looking to take advantage of your desperation and weakness, ‘cause they know that you have little choice but to put up with her many selfish demands if you want her to turn around and continue to give you what YOU want (because who else is going to?). Obviously the more eccentric your tastes are, the more limited your dating options become, and having a scarcity mindset is a bad place to be, dating-wise.
And I get the impression that women who are naturally drawn to unusual bedroom practices are damaged goods, anyway, as they seem to be trying to relive some type of early childhood trauma or abuse, and probably have many emotional problems that you don’t want to deal with. Google “mattress girl” and see what comes up. Apparently she is typical of the kind of women that is into kinky and unusual bedroom practices, such as the kind that involve pain and humiliation. Would you want to date her?
And don’t think that you can just dabble into unusual bedroom practices and then go back to normal sex. People who are into behavior that society considers to be deviant often say that they can never go back to “plain vanilla” sex, so obviously certain types of bedroom practices are addictive; once you start down that road, it is hard to turn around and then date a normal person and enjoy a normal relationship with gentle sex. Chances are that you won’t be satisfied with normal ever again.
[edit]
www.nationalreview.com/2017/05/mattress-girl-emma-sulkowicz-pathetic-journey-provocateur/
2:17
I have heard that women search for and watch that stuff more than women. I don’t recall the source, but they were citing statistics on it.
What I noticed with my experience of women is … most women want to get Graped by the man they like .. they want man to have total control and they just want to be passenger
replaces most women with ALL. This is built in human nature fetish in every women, to be graped, cut, humiliated, choked. All fetishes are built among this one, being dominated, and its opposite in males, they want to stick their dick in every hole alive or not, same species or not. etc.
I see most of these desires be brought up by women, I never had this I learned majority of women prefer this... this comes from female end imo... 50 shades was most read book of the year due to women... not men... 🤔
And the Romance genre is the best selling genre of books... also due to women... to the tune of about 1.4 billion a year. To put that into perspective... Crime/Mystery is the second most popular (also largely purchased by women, funny enough) at about half of romance.
What I can assume from that? Women want excitement... which makes me want to watch True Lies. lol
Women of the scores of years before today have not a clue what they want, but they do know what others say that they should want. Oh oh... another medical disorder for women so they never have to fix themselves.
Mr. Alexander...I am absolutely loving all the critical analysis with all the scientific facts . This series on male sexuality is ABSOLUTE GOLD Trust me on this one...Here I find such wonderful content I don't find anywhere else. Keep it up !!
Thanks Ashish glad you like it :)
Acha
How about the opposite view that men who prefer the submissive role and are aroused by dominatrices are also afraid of women because they fear rejection and are trying to integrate this into their sexuality.
Look at my playlist you won’t be disappointed
This is a good video. I like that you interviewed yourself! 🙃
Great video! These things need to be said.
This is a very insightful interview. Thank you for your valued time to educate the mass. So appreciated!0
This is so hard to hear because it is the truth.....
Look at my playlist lmao
I'd like to give my opinion about this topic since I'm a woman and person who enjoys bdsm relationships. I can say I practice some forms of bdsm with my boyfriend and it makes me feel so connected and loved by him. It's also kind of a tabu where we come from, people is not opened minded about these stuff but I can say is the most healthy relationship I've ever had. He feels free to explore his sexuality with me, as he feels, as you said, 'SAFE' because I love him a lot and I love his ideas and we share lots of fantasies. He's the most kind and lovable man I've ever met and because of the way he treats me and loves me, I feel so happy to please him and letting him dominate me is what I love the most.
Thank you, this helps me.
it's weird everything you guys say you got I got as well lol. I mean it makes sense considering I'm male minded I've gone to therapists who diagnosed me with dysphoria twice and told me they couldn't help me. But anyway most of the time I try to ignore that. But whenever it comes to specific things it always falls into the other category it's like I'm a freemartinized cow basically lol
Sin in secret ? Be a demon and an animal in secret? 🤔 There is got to be a better sex life dont you think?
They both look like twins 😂
It's the same guy ya twit
How do you know that Alexander?
this was wonderful and educational thank you !