Dominance is PSYCHOLOGICAL not PHYSICAL: an important message for men
Вставка
- Опубліковано 15 гру 2022
- Buy my book, "The Value of Others"
Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA
Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx
Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK
The internet abounds with advice for men looking to become more dominant, more alpha. And almost all of this advice includes directives to get bigger, get stronger. While this is certainly a worthwhile goal, this direction can do men a disservice by equating physical presence with dominance. This is not the case. Dominance is psychological, not physical. And you already know this is true. The contest for dominance is fought on the psychological field in society. So do not neglect this important reality.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
#alpha #redpill #men
The internet abounds with advice for men looking to become more dominant, more alpha. And almost all of this advice includes directives to get bigger, get stronger. While this is certainly a worthwhile goal, this direction can do men a disservice by equating physical presence with dominance. This is not the case. Dominance is psychological, not physical. And you already know this is true. The contest for dominance is fought on the psychological field in society. So do not neglect this important reality.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
This video deserves an hour or more. There is so much to unpack here. I’ve been on the other end of an argument wondering what just happened, I was clearly not in the wrong 😂.
Wrong. Dominance is physical, not psychological.
Or we could reach an agreement under certain terms and say that it is a combination of both.
you are talking about soft power
nothing to do with "being alpha" or being dominant
be precise with words
if america would never get into war no one would repsect it
even with the biggest army in the world
now i get it this theory of yours only works for beta males
than it actualy makes sens
Dear men, control the frame. Also, never ever argue with a woman. The man who says less always wins. It’s your actions and attitude that speak volumes.
Great point! , it is a losing fight that will only drain you and bever get anywhere, much better to focus on standing your ground in your actions
Facts brother
So does it mean Passive aggressive?
This comment is incorrect.
A good man has a duty to tell others the truth as stoic as possible. But many have to much passion so they get elevated and come across aggressive.
If a good man doesn’t step up and drop truth, his good man label fades.
The woman doesn’t win when the man needs to plant the seed/educate a woman suffering from cognitive dissonance.
Sometime we need to be kicked to the curb and snapped in half to get out of the cognitive dissonance that many of these group thinking lambs are suffering from.
Good Men are Fading!
Because Bad Men and Bad Ideas with Woman is Power are Constantly being Advanced.
No more!
Power is dangerous enough in the right hands of a man and history proves this in so many ways.
Now that the world has put so many woman in change, we can see that Woman are not built to wield power. Snap out of it Men.
oh trust me, you can get a lot further in an argument with a women by speaking less or not at all.
Getting big or learning how to fight isn't about physical dominance over women; it's about disciplining your mind, building skills, becoming more resilient. A muscular build is a neat portable trophy of these things.
Relational dominance between sexes is in attraction. When you appear disciplined and fit, you are more rare, and you attract better and more women. Women compete for rare, attractive, disciplined men- it's social economics.
Your power is in your choice and ability to walk away, and not accepting less than you deserve. You set the standard. A partner who recognizes your value will want to cooperate to stay near to you because she knows you have other women who would love to have you. Especially if you are helpful to her hierarchy of needs including emotional and physical safety.
This is dominance. Communicate clearly and with compassion, but do not argue with women. If she deeply cares, she probably doesn't want to beat you in an argument anyway (remember, she's not a dude); she wants to connect with you and feel heard. If she trusts you are good for her, she doesn't want to dominate you verbally or at all, so don't compete on that level. If she gets in her head that you two should be competing, tell her no- she can argue like that with friends. If it gets really bad, ask her about her intentions for wanting to argue with you.
If you're factually incorrect, apologize and fix it.
If she is factually incorrect, gently teach her.
If you have different opinions, let them coexist.
If you think a different action is necessary, decide together and soothe the relational elements. You can be wrong or not have your way and still, these are all wins.
Logically demolishing a woman's argument or attacking a woman intelligence, personality, or body are all losses, and shows your own lack of mental discipline. Because you are not meant to compete with your partners like that. This is sooo important, and guys miss this all the time.
It also diminishes your partner, which makes YOU worse. Dominance is leadership- anyone who is submissive to you should become better for being with you, and you get better from them and your own practices. You are not showing intersexual dominance by degrading or overpowering your partners- you're being a lame, technically anti-social, and at worst, abusive.
She will sometimes test you to make sure that you're steady- arguing shows that you are less steady than the days when you did not argue. The more you argue, the worse it gets.
Dominance is your confidence in your sense of efficacy, ability to influence your environment, and remain increasingly attractive and adorable to women.
@Fitforfreelance,well said bro.
🔥🔥🔥🔥👍
As a WOMAN, this is the best and most powerful assessment and advice I've ever seen a MAN say or write on UA-cam. You should have your own YT channel and share these emotionally intelligent gems, you just shared here. Edit: LOL, I see that you do have your own channel. I just subscribed.
@@jadam8844 thanks 😎 some of us are out here and we get it haha
@@hamiltonstephanus7457 thanks! I thought about this a lot when 50 Shades came out lol I knew there was a world here. A bunch of people misappropriated domination tho
@@fitforfreelance Yes, I agree. Just like a lot of people keep pushing these enormous generalizations about ALL women, LOL, because we are not all like that, it depends alot on the culture you grew up in, some of us aren't chasing men with $$, alphas, we know how to apologize, aren't jealous, don't like to argue and aren't possessive...we are out there.
Well weights work for the psychological and hormonal aspects. It's not about the muscle or strength gain but about the discipline, dedication and perseverance.
not really
@@mindsstalker you should research then
@@mindsstalker no, he's right.... This is soo clutch
Not about trying to gain muscle mass, although that works for athletes and guys who are dead set on beating a specific person up.... But that ain't mass majority... It's about being able to stick to something (discipline)
@@asstatedbelow9599 discipline and competitiveness doesn't make you psychological stronger, quite the opposite, I will not extend on this since I'm not here to teach you for free, do your own research, thank me later
After being raised shackled in prison by a bipolar psychopath narcissist of a father and a pure evil, self-absorbed sociopath of a mom. This and life makes perfect sense to me for a multitude of reasons!
Youil
You are a survivor!
Keep going... love.... will find a way
May God richly bless you
@@danielbrucejohnson6218 thanks, definitely praise God.
@BB49 definitely, a lot of physical and psychological control.
Can relate to having an evil, self absorbed narcissistic mother who is a communist to boot and feels I should financially support her how she wants to, not how I am able to.
@@MilanElan It is OK to walk away. She deserves this, and so do you.
Actually, this is something my sister told me off hand. I was going to the gym, and she asked me if I was doing it because I found a girl and I said no. She said it is not about "that". I did not get it at first, but after a few years of observing relationships (inter/intra, platonic or otherwise), I can confidently say it is frame of mind. Nothing to do with muscles, being a brute or whatnot...frame of mind is critical. If you are all jacked up but still unsure of yourself, it will show.
So true. I would fail miserably in a verbal combat scenario. I grew up as a nice guy. Now I'm recovering.
Recovering nice guy 😊
😊
You will grow soldier.
So true
It is easy to dominate any verbal confrontation. Be the even volumed, level headed, non insulting, non gesturing one who's saying simple facts and who's not being emotionally drawn into the confrontation and who knows when to use silence tactically. That infuriates the other party, who will realize that his/her words are having absolutely no effect on you. Stand by, because the next phase in their mind is to lash out physically. This is where the being in shape and being combatively skilled will come into play.
We're living the same life bruh
I've done that thing of
speaking calmly and assertively about a point (when being baited and lied to and treated abusively, by MULTIPLE women when they went crazy when i pointed out their lies and abuse) but still got accused of shouting and they accused me of being aggressive at them when all i was doing was calmly pointing out their lies or abuse.. when they accuse us of raising our voice when we're being assertive i think they HEAR it like that, when we are assertive and don't just fold and accept abusive behaviour
I've even had complete strangers dogs biting my ankles (the dog had been walking ahead of them and got territorial when i was walking along the path towards them) and the woman started phoning the police on ME when i calmly told her to "please call the dog off"
she did not call the dog off
us men are the abused race these days
@pwilsonkelly - I disagree. A woman will not pick fights if you have an intimidating posture, expression, voice or height. Calmness is taken for weakness, a feminine quality.
Schrodinger's Feminism: A woman is simultaneously in a state of being a victim and empowered, until something happens. Then she chooses what state benefits her the most! 😎😉
@@Accuface2000I disagree calmness is not weakness, it's better than fear or anger in arguments.
The pursuit of physical dominance should assist in the journey to psychological dominance. Through the physical, you can ALSO learn discipline, patience, grit and gain self respect. However, many physically strong men are incredibly submissive when it comes to women. They lose all the lessons they should have learned through the physical training. Plenty of soldiers, who have seen action and have killed many men, come home and cower to their wives. Dominance absolutely is a mental thing. Thanks for pointing this out.
We are not in the age of sparta anymore. The soldier of today is just a civilian with a gun and some muscles.
Soldiers are taught to be submissive to their superiors.
People in general are taught to be submissive to society.
That's why the concept of frame is so important for men.
I worked as a bounce for years. I was a physical freak with skills, but that wasn't my edge. You figure out what people are afraid to loose and what they desire in a given situation. The physical capacity was simply a tool at my disposal. My job was to gain compliance. I rarely resorted to being physical.
How did you deal with people staring or intimidating you?
@@Inside_the_Male_Mind you look them back in the eye and smile.
Shows confidence but defuses potential aggression with positivity.
Say hi to me people and be friendly.
In my experience the women I've argued with will abandon reason when it suits in order to remain in the dominant position. If that doesn't work, then taking on the role of the victim is next. I have some female friends who absolutely do not do this with their partner, which is hopeful to see, but rare.
Do you think they are consciously aware that they are doing this?
@@dwdwone not sure
@@dwdwone yes
Gotta plant a secret audio device under your female friends mattress to really find out what goes on above the sheets with that relationship.
Its a reflex to escape looking bad.
If theyve argued their ass off defending a stupid position and they suddenly realize it, they are not going to be like you know what, i think you are right?
F no.
They double down and then play the victim to attack how you feel to divert the argument. The only way to win is leave women like that and say its because your a dud cummunicator.
This is exactly why I'm divorced and single by choice. It's just not worth the mental gymnastics to be in a relationship with most women anymore.
It's actually so exhausting if you already have a busy life with work, hobbies, etc. The mental gymnastics might be worth it if I was independently wealthy and retired.
This is a weak mindset…..guess what when you work at a corporate job or any job your coworkers will test you
When u have kids they will test you
Your own parents will test you….man up and don’t give up
The problem is not women as a whole, the real issue here is actually yourself.
There exist plenty of high quality women out there, that you are probably ignoring and overlooking for whatever reason.
If you desire a healthy relationship, then you simply need to make better choices in regards to dating.
You are basically no different than the women who chase after the "bad boys", but then complain about their horrible choices and eventually put the blame on all men.
@@hannahstrikerthe problem aren't men
It's just you.
@@andrei2652 That is exactly what I highlighted in my previous response.
And this applies to both men and women respectively.
If one cannot find a high quality partner, the problem does not derive from the opposite sex(or the same one for that matter).
It is absolutely their fault for picking incompatible partners, while ignoring the myriad of apparent red-flags in the process.
When I was a kid, the bullies were sometimes physical but this was the exception not the rule, usually the meaner boys would spread around rumours and false accusations. It didn't matter if the bully was the shortest kid in class or the tallest kid in class, he would usually use his social relationships to spread false rumours.
Yup. When you're outnumbered it doesn't matter if you can fight or not. The irony is that people often try to show off by being cowardly backstabbers. And none of their crew will call it out so in their minds it stands.
The only reason women seem more adept to verbal warfare is due to the fact that they sense childhood trauma and hit you where it hurts. Men could do that with ease, but men are mostly good people.
There are two pathways from here:
1.Adress your childhood trauma with a professional and stick to the process like your life depends on it, because it does. Makes you invincible.
2.Don't hold back and hit her where it hurts. Father issues, bad genetics, mother's jealousy, aging, asymmetry in the body/face. the usual stuff. Makes you deadly.
Jesus you have a lot of fun in your love life 🤣
True that.
Women fear "judgement", shame and guilt.
Keep those in your arsenal.
truth. beauty is what they care most about. call out truths about appearance
Good advice if your intention is to emotionally destroy a woman. But don't expect a healthy relationship afterwards.
lol 😂😂😂 your hell
..physical presence/dominance is very real.. one simply doesnt mess with someone who can destroy him physically ..its subconsciously in our DNA..
and yet women do it constantly
The most powerful men in the world are small rich guys, they are surrounded by big security guys but they call the shots
That only applies to men, looks like.
Women pretty much don't give a crap about it.
@@taylorm841apart from physical dominance men are weaker than women in any other category. So it’s easy for women to dominate you.
@@Daniel-ef7nk yeap a crazy amount of money is real power. working out is self respect
I agree, and I think 50 to 60% of dating game is establishing dominance and being able to spar and answer objections.
On the dating apps, the girls see the man's body and not psychology. So men go to gym to get pumped.
To be dominant psychologically over females, men need to be do these during an argument:
1) Stay calm at all times. Do not lose temper.
2) First listen to what she has to say without reacting.
3) Try to understand what she really wants. Maybe nothing. Maybe she just wants attention. Is there is a hidden motive? Women are rarely straight communicators. You are supposed to decipher the unspoken message.
4) Recognize all the BS, lies, fallacies, double standards, hypocrisy, gaslighting, mixing of irrelevant stuff, and plain absence of logic.
5) Do not bring up any of that unless necessary. Avoid arguments as much as possible because you cannot logically argue against irrational outbursts.
6) If she demands an action and you agree then say so with approval. If you do not agree, say so with minimum necessary justification.
7) If you feel disrespected, call her out and take swift and decisive action so that she gets the message disrespect won't be tolerated or ignored.
8) If she puts on too much show of drama or waterworks, leave the scene.
9) Do not give in to her crying and shaming/bullying. She must know you will walk out of the relationship and never look back if she pushes you too far.
10) If she turns violent or verbally abusive, immediately start recording using your phone. In case she calls the police on you, you can defend yourself if you have recording.
This is exactly what I been looking for. During dating different women , they will at some point bring up celebrity relationship dynamics or prominent guys being “exposed” or “misogyny” and things that are extremes and it’s like a test to see what my thoughts or beliefs are on the subjects. Usually these gurls thought pattern has been seeing themselves as a victim of patriarchy and they are irrationally projecting, but I’ve struggled on how to say calmly and coolly that I disagree with them. And just leave it at that. Like I just wanna state my position, express that I wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behavior in a committed relationship from my partner, and move on.
Where can I find more info on how to deal with situations like you’re saying ?
@@crayonblood1 Never engage in her drama despite her provocation. Women need attention like human needs air. So you can punish a misbehaving woman with silence. Pay attention to her actions only. Do not trust her words.
To stay attracted, respectful, loyal and submissive to you, your woman must feel:
1) the fear of losing what you provide for her (such as money, resources, status, stability, exciting sex)
2) the anxiety of losing you to her competition (such as a younger hotter replacement of her)
3) the uncertainty of your continued interest in her
That's why she must believe you will walk away from her without ever turning back if she crosses the boundaries that you must clearly set for her.
Women respect and get attracted to strong men and women loathe, punish, and exploit weak men.
@@rayrwyr heard. Thanks. Yeah I’ve messed this up in the past so many times. And yeah those times when I was “nice guy” about being agreeable they still stuck around ,but their respect for me goes downhill fast, sex drops, attraction drops and the relationship as a whole starts to suck.
It’s crazy to realize the reality of it all haha which I think they don’t understand themselves.
Thanks for the insight 🙌🏽
@@rayrwyr thank you very much for this information, very helpful, do you have any book or videos you recommend us to learn more about reading women's unspoken messages and recognizing their bullshit/gaslighting
note the last step and choose mgtow. I wish it wasn't true... but these ladies are verbal masters and rarely back down. when a man takes a stand, she gets violent and then calls police
I would say it's mostly young men who think this way. Mature men later understand why you workout. It's not just to impress women. It's to maintain a healthy body and mind. Also it creates healthy habits and discipline. Discipline in turn can be used in various ways to also improve your mental fortitude. I would say they go hand-in-hand.
Yeah bring buff/fit helps with confidens health and so on soo it isn't a bad tip too work out but without the right mind it is kinda wasted
Just because women are on average better than men when it comes to verbal communication doesn't mean they win the verbal sprawl, women tend to communicate their emotions and feelings more while men tend to bluntly express logic and reality to prove points.
They are not good in communication.
They are good in hypocrisy, lies, gaslighting, manipulating, shaming, insulting, guilting, playing victim card, mixing unrelated things, illogical nonsense, inventing justification for whatever they like at the moment.
That’s not true. Men are actually notoriously more emotional than women. It’s statistically proven that it’s more men than women in prison, mental institutions, etc. Because at the end of the day, more women than men have their life and stuff mentally and emotionally together than most men do.
I had a toy poodle who was very dominant. He used to dominate dogs of all sizes and was not aggressive. Not by humping or aggression but more in a sense of holding his ground and not letting the other dog sniff his butt before he’s sniffed theirs. He used to trot up to any type of dog and I had to be careful with him because he had zero awareness of his size 😂
Impressive
weirdly enough, if men are loosing the verbal bloodbath and they resolve to physical dominance as a backup, it is a sign of weakness and is an indirect way of acknowledging that the emotional battle has been lost and they have no more cards to play
Totally agree with this. Ive known guys that live in the gym and want to act like they're tough yet some C grade woman at home bosses them around and if she initiates a breakup, they beg and plead. The gym is often an external overcompensation for internal weakness of some kind. Charles Manson shows dominance is psychological. He was 5'2", skinny, didn't go to the gym for " gainz" yet had plenty of women and much bigger men doing his bidding. Jim Jones another example of psychological dominance. Women though, if also dominant will tend to avoid such a man. Her gaslighting tactics and guilt trips won't work on him, which work on most men. So she'll seek prey in greener pastures so to speak. And with such women I have learned, that when arguing with them the best course to take isn't to use logic, reason, or defend yourself. These will all be ignored by the dominant woman and manipulated into gaslighting. The best course is to insult her ego in some way, bruise her pride, cleverly if possible. She'll quit speaking, but she'll respect you, albeit from afar.
You know Charles Manson is a sociopath?
@know where to look exactly!
I've seen that a lot
Could you give me an example of how to bruise an ego subtly? I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around how I can do that and she'll respect me more for it
@@viditbatta2434 you indirectly or directly insult what she's most vain about. For example if she takes pride in how smart she is, you make a comment implying she's dumb. She takes pride in her looks, you make a comment she's not as pretty as some other woman or as young. The goal is to hurt their most vulnerable area. Now as I mentioned above, she may quit speaking for awhile or permanently, but I promise she'll respect you because she'll not want her ego damaged any further so she'll learn to avoid conflict with you. Even if that means avoiding you period.
Excellent advice as always! Thanks!
my mind is BLOWN. and this is occurring on almost every video of yours man. thank you
He is the best in psychology.
Your mind is spaghetti I think you are thinking too much he doesn't provide the answers you really looking for
I think I'm pretty decent with verbal dominance and my technique is to first, always stay grounded in truth and reason, and second be as articulate as possible. A simple example is a math case where your argument is that 2+2=4 and someone else's is 2+2=10. By being grounded in the truth I can always start from a common ground, for example that 2=1+1 and then use objective logical steps to unequivocally dominate the conversation since my argument is more grounded in truth. But even if we both understand that 1+1=2 it is meaningless if I'm not articulate enough to explain how this logically means that 2+2=4. Without articulation you cant maneuver logical fallacies and tricks used by people who have arguments that aren't tied to truth but are just overbearing and more manipulative so even if your argument is true you still lose the verbal dominance battle. Obviously this is just a simple case but the concept stands for more complicated scenarios. It takes practice and humility to always stay grounded in truth. You even have to accept that many of the times, the way you wish things were just aren't so because once you tie yourself to an incorrect argument based on your feelings someone else more grounded in reality will be able to dominate you through logical deduction and articulation, but once you can do that it becomes easier to be verbally dominant in arguments because you can tap into reality by starting from basic principles and rationally showing that your argument is the only scenario or the most likely scenario given all alternative options.
This. I recall trying to tell a teacher that how he had gaslighted me years ago about my own experiences with my family, and also told me to get over wishing to end my life, which caused me to wish to respectfully part with him. I kept attempting to ask him if he was ok with this and if he had anything to say on the matter. He never responded and instead chose to remain silent. I lost some respect for him after that, where I had *earnestly* respected him before. I decided to end whatever was left of the acquaintanceship, and insulted him openly, knowing that that would drive him off of me ultimately, no questions in the air.
This is when he finally spoke up, only to denigrate and insult me back, even though in the same breath he told me I was crazy and "never to foolishly think of myself as his equal". I understand this is gaslighting and manipulation, even if a miniature version, or a microcosm. In that vein, I do not regret what I did, and will do nothing further with the individual, except maybe use him as an anonymous example of what mind-warping and denial looks like.
Verbal/social dominance is my specialty. (And my only skill, besides logic haha; its basically how i move through life) Let me tell you, for your personal logic, ALWAYS ground yourself in truth or you'll drift off into some kind of insanity. But when reasoning with others, the truth can (and will) be bent. Subscribing yourself to the truth often limits you in these situations. If you think the way you described, then you know how truth feels and how it should be presented. Just use this fashion of articulating your argument and more often then not it will shift opinions your way. Protipp: Tell the people, after you fully convinced them, that you had to argue that way. They'll be thankful and you'll seem EVEN more genuine than you even are :D PS: sometimes, even the most logical and easy to understand arguments are just dismissed.
It's would be nice to think complete logic will always win a discussion, unfortunately in todays disfunctional world of thinking, logic will just irritate the ilogical, and those with mental health issues. It is possible to completely win an arguement and loose at the same time. If logic is met with critisism, just be quiet until the other person actually wants to hear your point of view, otherwise you are wasting your time. Maybe they never actually want to hear logic. Frustrating but true. Took me along time to realise this. Some people are intellectually vaccuous.
@@rosiemackenzie5976 The world has always been this way, you have been manipulated by society into thinking that discussions are academic debates.
Thank you. People who are confident, agreeable, hard working, energetic, kind, empathic, non dogmatic and high in genuine self esteem inspire others and cause others to want to emulate them. To decide that dominance is bad and prestige is good, that's a bit too simplistic.
I agree with most of what you say, but dominance is a tool, like any tool if you use it all the time, it's inappropreiate. Knowing you can use it when needed is the skill, not just having it.
still fake society games that lead nowhere. I am all those things and try to hid them now because being socially active is dangerous for men these days. even if you're perfect, the wicked forces come knocking
Life changing spar verbally is so needed
So true. Great video.
Great content as always🔥
I really enjoyed this. Thank you
I agree. To be challenging . Not to supplicate or belief anything . To have the confidence of what you belief in .
Hello
Previously, I was quite average, but now I've significantly increased my muscle mass. With this change, I've noticed a shift in how people interact with me. In shared spaces, they're more inclined to make space for me and step aside. Additionally, people tend to be friendlier and initiate more random conversations. It's interesting how having muscle affects others' subconscious perceptions. While psychological factors play a significant role in dominance, the sight of well-developed muscles often triggers the initial subconscious recognition of dominance in others' minds.
Amazing advice!
Dominance îs physical in a sence that it comes out of your posture. YOU can get confident if you learn to align your body. A Coward or low status man is seen through body language. YOU can be confident through your achivements. But it may be a sort of pshycological compensation. In a situation where is a posibility of physical violence only psycological dominance is not enouph
Dominant men don't verbally spar with their girlfriends. If she's being masculine/annoying like that cut her off. If some time apart doesn't check her behavior break off again for longer.
true but you haven't realized that she bangs losers and enemies as revenge when you cut her off. facts
Sometimes you gotta break down your girl's emotional drama with your logic in a calm way. Never throw insults though.
You're simply the best!!!
Dominance is psychological, physical, emotional, social and any other domain because Dominance is NOT SELECTIVE, but there is ALWAYS some WEAK man perpetrating a FRAUD.
Very true, a few friends of mine that were in prison told me the shot callers in prison weren’t the big buff inmates it was usually a little 5’5 quite guy with glasses.
please expand more on the topic you're talking about. It would be great to have +10 minutes from you.
My stoic karelian bear dog twice almost killed a annoying lapdog that was walking free, had too big ego and tried to dominate. So I strongly think that if you can't back up your attitude dont push it. Also my ex had a super f*cking annoying little sister with holier than thou attitude and loud mouth. On divorce day when I had no reason to to act nice I told her to 'shut the f*ck up 'cause literally no one asked you a god damn thing'.... not a damn beep from her after that and I was probably the first guys ever to tell her to shut it.
So try to dominate only if you can back it up 'cause sometimes you might get put into your place by bigger person that you took for a softie. Oh yeah Karielian bear dog are super friendly and happy but they are used in big game hunting.
On the point men v women in verbal fight... women have the lawful victim status on their side so women can have the last laugh slinging accusations of what ever and they stick enough to destroy the man.
True. Don't push a gentle giant.
Love u man❤
very true... insightful videos
Absolutely spot on.
I was dating a woman. One time on her WhatsApp profile she uploaded pic from night club with another female friend. I asked, when did she go and why didn't she tell me. As I remember one night her phone was off and she claimed she fell asleep. She told me not to worry pic is from 3 years ago before we met. I said stop lying u have a watch on your wrist u bought from Argos two months ago!!! Automatically i was labeled abusive, controlling, insecure etc. Society trained men for the past 40yrs to never challenge a woman, take abuse with smile on your face and basically be castrated robo-droid who works,bend knee, gives woman all his resources and never asks questions. If you have some self respect and values as a man u are going to be scrutinized. Thank goodness am not dealing with this crap anymore. Have hobbies, motorcycles,cars,drones, travel the world. Women for recreational use only. Stay safe gents 🚨
Your videos are awesome.
Well said
I read a book called _The Art Of Psychological Warfare_ Highly recommend.
Agreed. I need to remember this more often. Sometimes I will remember it but kinda discard it as to try and stay humble
This is a very simplistic argument. Non verbal body language is much more intimidating then what someone say. Someone can ramble but looking them the right way in the eye will leave a very primal and strong message.
Excellent 👌🏾
Everybody Has A Plan Until They Get Punched In The Face.
-Mike Tyson
Great review. I gotta add that women are more immediately open and attracted to larger guys. As a thin guy back in the courting days I often never got to second base of demonstrating intellectual/psycological appreciation. Look at average couples and the woman is generally always with a big guy even if it’s just plain fat - it gives them a sense of protection.
((Margret Thatcher married Dennis Thatcher, hmmm? he’s physically weaker and clearly politically weaker: strange relationship))
On another note, women in later life, having likely failed at relationships, are more readily open to entertain a psychologically dominant male. In today’s world of brain value and technology men with intellectual skills are a little more of interest than the old evolutionary attraction of big = protection and provisions.
But shedding the social, the media and advertising roll plays, the whole psychological culture of western civilization women are still turned on and attracted to big guys (more so, big guys who those women can psychologically and emotionally hen peck to death)
Braun over brain. Braun wins until brain is needed. Long term relationships need brain. Margaret Thatcher was a very interesting women because she could very easily disarm her opponents intellectually, and that is why she was a force to be reckoned with, and that is why she won, and that is what she is remembered for. Regardless of if you agreed with her politcal stance. As is commented on her political career, she was known as the women with 'The iron fist with the velvet glove." Regarding her marriage to Dennis, he was quiet secure in her being the boss, he didn't mind and she didn't mind. Which is not the usual preference these days.... Which would suggest he was quiet happy in his own skin, and had a healthy self image. She had no expectations of him being something he was not, and he didn't mind her being her. Which in the end equals a happy relationship.
The reason why women often come out on top in an argument, is that "reason" is rarely entertained as a strategy. In the end, men realize that using reason won't change the woman's mind, and come to the conclusion that arguing with a woman just isn't worth their time.
I agree and disagree with you at the same time . They might try to manipulate you with emotions. But when you give them silence or keep making logical points they get pissed off and try to shame you.
My exact experience in the last woman I got "vulnerable" with and bared my emotional side. She just couldn't get enough of it, but suddenly resorted to the "pull-away" test and brought her knives out when I started to get really deep with reading her.
If she tries to shame or guilt you, it means that you are winning the argument.
psychological framing is very important. I have to say out of personal experience though. At least with everyday interactions with men. muscle is a huge factor. there is a certain unwritten and unpublished dominance hierarchy you ascend when you are muscular. no one talks abut it but it somehow is accepted and acted upon by everyone. i went from 132 to 185 lbs lean and boy is there a difference in daily interactions. of course internal confidence built over the years of work and dedication definately aid aswell, but everyone who gained a lot of muscle over a short span can tell you the night and day difference!
nice youtube thumbnail artwork... and the subjects you talk about. new sub
Hello
Humans aren’t dogs. Ever seen a little guy boss around a big guy? Maybe if the little guy had a lot of power, sure, but when they have an equal position?
It does work like this if it's two guys, OP, but it doesn't if sexes are different, because the entire interpersonal dynamic is different.
It basically boils down to the fact that a man knows that if he pushes another guy too hard, he'll eat a fist. This puts a natural boundary on interactions.
Meanwhile not only men are taught to not hit women (and they subconsciously know they could outright end up killing a woman in a fight), the women both aren't taught to respect a man's strength while also, in most cases, never getting punched in their life.
Thus you get a situation where a social creature, like a woman, can't suffer (or believes she can't suffer) any physical repercussions for her pushing on the boundaries of a physical creature, like a man, who has little-to-no ways of responding to such behavior.
@@LecherousLizard Hé can ignore it. Or start bossing her around.
@@pwh5805 Problem is that this isn't innate knowledge to men, nor they are taught about it.
@@LecherousLizard Men do it all the time though.
@@pwh5805 Yes, that's why women abuse men so readily. Because men are so quick to put their parents in their place.
This is right. Napoleon was a very short, bald and less than attractive person. And he was one of the most dominant man in history.
But there is still a twist to it. He was still betrayed by his own wive, because she sought for a more physically dominant male.
She was 6 years older than him with 2 kids! A gold digger, his second wife was 18 he was 40, redpill.
This is not true, check your facts
That's British propaganda. Napoleon was 2 inches above the average of the time, handsome, bold and a military genius.
Me ex once said that she hated to argue with me because she could never win. She would make an accusation, and then I would deconstruct it by asking her questions. She would quickly realized that she didn't have the facts to back up the emotional rant! Now when I was in the wrong, I would admit it and move on, but she usually wanted to vent for another 20 minutes. A lot of times I would leave and tell that we'll discuss this once she's ready to act rationally.
Men, if your woman acts like a spoiled two year old, then let her know that's not acceptable behavior. They either learn or end up alone with their cats and boxed wine!
„It would be an emotional bloodbath“
No, it not would, it *is* . Millions of times every day.
True, but you gotta be able to back it up physically because eventually someone will call your bluff
Thanks!
To add, I have read studies that indicate that warriors and aggressive men are seen by women as more attractive, there was also another aspect that heavily based on the physicality aspect of dominance. As far as that goes, it seems that physical aggression has something to do with male attractiveness, but your video also makes sense...
It's both.
Who was that fighter guy who lost the match and his girl dumped him and went with the winner...
I think you reduce it down to "verbal", I wouldn't. I think it's more "mental/emotional".
And I do agree that men are usually more focused on body strength domination and women on mental/emotional, and I think that this "tug of war" dynamic, is key to the evolution of humans, to a more well rounded and whole being, that is strong in both areas.
Great comment!
Absolutely 💯 gent
Hello
I've never met a married woman who was the dominant in the marriage and who was happy.
Apart from physical dominance, women have dominance over men.
Weirdly people sometimes tell me they are scared of me like I will smash them and most of the times I am thinking about that song stuck in my head, I get absolutely baffled. Yeah I am a guy pretty physically strong and good at arguments, but sometimes it surprises why people are so intimidated of me IRL even though I am chill and got no criminal records and even I don't do drugs.
Seems definitely that dominance is psychological.
Thats why controlling the frame is so important
Can you make a video on root cause of passive nature. Can you also a start a new playlist on root causes of many a negative emotions in people?
It's funny to watch a little Chihuahua have a big German Shepard on his back peeing on himself. Good analogy!
Hello
Thanks for citing so many scientific examples, i feel like a powerful tiny dog i think
Getting strong will give you confidence which is the foundation of dominance
Get hit on more when I'm more muscular... So... It helps...
XXs are not dominant in my world. If she’s not logical and gets passive aggressive you just walk away. Toddlers can stay toddlers
'dominance' is not an effective strategy in the long term - imagine if you had the resources to kill anyone you wanted to and no-one could call you out on it; you could kill anyone who disagreed with you - but it wouldn't mean you were right. If everyone but you kept saying the Earth was flat, even to the point of making you fear for your life, they still wouldn't be right.
The better strategy is maintaining strong and healthy boundaries and developing critical thinking skills.
I never strived to be dominant in my relationship with my wife. I just want things to be fair, and over the years we have worked out a way to make joint decisions that seem to be reasonably fair to both of us. Part of it is we learned to make decisions jointly; also we learned in which situations one of us have particularly strong preferences and the other doesn't - so that the decision can be mostly deferred to the one with the strong preference.
I did have to fight for this for a period of time in the early years of the marriage. For example, we both like to go out to eat, but our preferences aren't always the same. At first, she almost always insisted that we go to a restaurant of her choice; eventually I got fed up with that, and started pointing out that it's not fair that I never get to choose. I never had to make any elaborate arguments. I simply insisted, that since she chose the restaurant the last time, it is my turn to choose one this time, and if she doesn't want to go along with my choice, we'll just stay home. We actually stayed home a few times, until she realized I was serious about this. And she couldn't really argue why it would be fair for her to choose more often than for me, since I also have my preferences, etc. So, soon enough we worked out this issue, as well as many others.
I also don't agree that in most relationships the woman is more dominant than the man. It isn't the case in our relationship; but also I haven't observed this in other relationships among my friends. But, most of my friends and their wives are immigrants from Eastern Europe or Russia - maybe that makes a difference. Perhaps for most Western families it's different, and perhaps that's why I never succeeded in dating an American woman - they intuitively felt that I couldn't be dominated the way they all expected me.. ? I don't know.
Pro tip: Make sure to take initiative to go out to eat but never say where. Instead, say 'Its a surprise'. Blind fold her if needed while driving to said place. Go to McDonalds and now you just won without even starting a fight and you have a happy meal toy. Win the war without starting a battle.
@sexysputnik that would work, once or twice. She will get wise to it soon enough. Eventually you do have to fight out this battle. It's not necessarily a difficult battle to win, but you have to face it, and many others, sooner or later.
@@markrcca5329Good point. They'll def wise but then switch it up like "oh I forgot the name of the place" and 2 or 3 months later think of something else. I'm seriously thinking of making a list that could last me 2 years or so.
@sexysputnik there may be ways to navigate it. But for me, it was important to make the simple point - we both get to take turns to choose. When I established this simple baseline, it naturally transferred to many other joint decisions.
thumbs up on this comment!
The doc's license plate joke made me laugh so loud
That truck joke really got me, ngl
@@giftmathebula4341 hello
U need a second and third part video with tips on this matter
Your statement about the woman being more dominant than the man in relationships seems to apply only to the western world. In Africa this is not the case at all. The man is usually more dominant by a huge margin. However this dominance is flipped when the arena is child nursing and home making
"Emotional & psychological marshall arts"💪💪💪💪
Makes sense to first dominate the psychological, then the physical will follow. If verbal/communication skills don't come naturally to most men then working to improve them would seem to me a great way to become even more attractive in general, not only to potential mates.
This help my husband understand what you were saying thank you
Reminds me of a video I saw recently where two dogs were trying to get at the same piece of beef. The first dog was ferociously barking, nipping and pushing at the hind legs of the second dog who got to the meat first. The second dog didn't pay any attention to the first, finished his meal then turned to face the aggressor. He never barked or bared his teeth at any point.
Also, the second dog was a big Rottweiler and outweighed the first dog by 30 or 40 pounds. lol
Actually liking this video would open up my feed to allowing other "Beta" men video to get recommended to me❤
Hello
I have never seen a German Shepard get bossed around by a Chiwawa.
It makes sense that women dominant verbal arguments with men. Physical strength helps with intimidation which is not something men want to do with women. A better way would be to take classes that help men speak more clearly and with more authority.
Any suggestions on books or other reading material to improve our verbal and mental game?
Ok doc! So how does one learn to be better at "verbal sparring"?
I get tired of people who play psychological bull shit 🤦🏽♂️ people stay trying to dominate me. I just pretend like I don’t notice
so true! women on average are more adept at emotional and psychological interactions than the average man and it stands to reason as women can't compete in the physical dominate against a man so instead they must become masters/ mistresses of emotional and psychological "influence"/ and a toxic woman uses emotional and psychological manipulation
whereas a toxic man will use overt aggression and violent intimidating behaviour
a balanced healthy man exudes confidence strength security and steadfastness
a healthy woman exudes
a loving
empathic
elegance and
finesse
Nice comment Ivan!😎
Awesomeness
The fact you said “only a beta wouldn’t follow through” was hilarious and you got a follow
Extortionist...:)
Its clearly both though. Physical dominance gives men an edge psychologically due to their body language. But if some men have intelligence and other types of status than this also confers a psychological advantage.
"Being able to spar verbally" would be a good idea for a topic on a video. Let's face it you said yourself men are at a disadvantage against women, they make demands and we are left with give in or else type of consequence.
Women always lose at logic and emotional control. Keep those aspects strong and you will never be defeated.
People who don't understand what force or will is to value are always worried about who will benefit, then they feel a lack of dominance which they struggle to get back from a world that never caused the issue to begin with
Highly recommend
Chris Voss' Never Split the Difference
Hey Doc, masculine containment. This really made sense to me after countless years of failing with women. I would do a video on this.
Hello
Fantastic video as always, how can one learn to spar verbally effectively?
By healthly arguing with people.