INTJ | Still Romantically "Clueless"
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- Hello. I decided to go back to the topic of INTJ's NOT being "Romantically Clueless". Please feel free to tell me how much you disagree in the comments and why.
#intj #16personalitytypes #myersbriggs
As an INTJ Male, my very limited romantic experience has been that no one I like, knows I like them unless I tell them; because I almost never emote. Also it doesn't matter to me if you like me, unless I also like you. There have been VERY few women that I've been interested in my whole life; about 5-6 over nearly 40 years now. The only time a woman initiated a relationship with me, I gave it my best effort, but we were incompatible and it disintegrated after a few months of laboriously and painfully presenting my position on various points of contention. I was always the "bad guy" because she couldn't refute my logic and it hurt her self image and feelings because she could never be wrong.
I don't know how else to explain it, but emotionally / socially I see most of the world in greyscale, and every now and then a person will be in full color. Those are the people I am able to meaningfully connect with be that as friends or otherwise. The rest of the people in the world feel more like NPC's in the RPG of life than humans. I know they aren't, but I also know their ability to understand me will be comparably limited. I know within a few minutes / 2-3 interactions if someone is cognitively compatible with me.
I wouldn't say INTJ is "romantically clueless" at all. I would actually say we're romantically hyper aware. We just also as introverts, aggressively conserve energy. So if you like us, and we know it has a snowball's chance in hell of working... we might ignore you. Or tell you straight up "it's not happening". Other types don't understand the Ni ability to reasonably accurately predict the future days, weeks, even decades in advance. I've met women before, and in a matter of seconds, I was able to see our whole future together like I was on a bullet train getting blasted with visuals as the train rocketed through time. Some people might say "well that's not fair you don't even know me". And they may be right, BUT most INTJ's trust their intuition most of the time because it's how our brains are wired, and we can point to innumerable times our intuition was right, compared to only a handful of times when it let us down. I realize 85-90% accuracy isn't perfect, but if you can be 90% accurate on a snap decision... imagine how accurate we get when we have actual time to observe.
I think I speak for a lot of young INTJs when I say that most of us are way more romantically in tune than we admit. We most likely know exactly how to flirt, what an "ideal" romantic relationship looks like, and when someone wants us. We just hate jumping through hoops playing the same games everyone else is playing when our vulnerabilities are at risk. We prefer the dry, no BS approach which unfortunately isn't considered fun or exciting enough by the masses.
I'm an INTJ male, and I agree about other people being indirect being annoying. It just comes across as _cowardice_ to me, and is wasting time. The part about rejection is also true. The analogy I always use is romance is like Baskin Robbins--I'm not going to be everyone's flavor, and someone else may not be my flavor, and that's okay, it's nothing personal. I'm very direct in my romantic approaches to women--inviting them to coffee or dinner and giving them my number--and I do this very quickly after meeting them, which I think is off putting to many of them. But fish or cut bait, imo.
So when you like a woman, you approach her and tell her you like her and then invite her to coffee? Or do you specifically tell her it’s a date?
@@Tarantula_Fangs I've tried/do both. I _never_ say "I like you" though--that's a weird thing to say to someone you don't know, and there's no benefit in saying it. But something like "You seem like someone I'd like to get to know better. If you'd like to get coffee sometime, here's my number. Just send me a text and we can figure it out." Or "Do you know X restaurant over on Y street? I have dinner there pretty regularly and wanted to invite you on a date. Here's my number, just send me a text and we can figure it out." I've simply had too many women freeze up/act crazy if I try to get an answer on the spot or ask for a number, so I basically invite them more than ask them, if that makes sense.
I also approach so directly and don't take the rejection so personally. I wish they would be so direct to me as well.
Hi everyone!! INFP female here 💗
First of all, I want to thank you, Niki, for always being so transparent with us about your experiences and dismantling these stereotypes.
I wasn’t going to comment, but then I thought that maybe my experience might change anyone’s opinion about INTJs being “romantically clueless” and “unemotional robots.” Also, I just feel like yapping to total strangers on the internet.
My very first boyfriend was an INTJ. We had a wonderful relationship, for the most part. However, as a young INFP, I was dealing with a lot of trauma that hadn’t been processed, and I ended up overwhelming him with my insecurities. Consequently, towards the end of the relationship, he became very closed off and pushed me away, so, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I broke things off with him. Soon after, he was in a new relationship, and I was a total mess. He told mutual friends that I was indifferent to him.
I went no contact but just couldn’t move on. Two years later, I was still very much in love with him and unconsciously waiting for him to come back. When I realized he wasn’t going to because he was still dating someone else, I had to force myself to let him go. I am now in a new, healthy, loving relationship.
Last month, to my surprise, I saw him again. We talked for a long time, and he said that he was about to publish his first book. When I asked what it was about, I wasn’t prepared for the storm that was about to hit me.
200+ romantic-tragic poems about me.
I couldn’t believe it. I, myself, had also been convinced that he was a robot, incapable of true connection, and that I hadn’t meant much to him. I was wrong.
In he’s case, he very much was afraid of rejection, not knowing how I was going to react (might have to do with his enneagram 5 or just a personal thing) so he kept it a secret all these years. However, he said that seeing me physically moved him so much that he just had to let me know.
Sounds like the plot to a movie, but it’s just my ironic life.
So yeah, INTJs are capable of being in love and feeling it VERY deeply, and that means a lot coming from an Fi dom.
There you have it. Hope this resonates with someone.
And wow!! Thanks for reading the whole thing 💖
Sending love to you all 🫂
"It's annoying and it's irritating" - most INTJ phrase ever. :)
How can anyone say you're not an INTJ? You're the most INTJ person I've seen on UA-cam by far. And I mean that in the best of ways.
It seems they simply don't watch the whole video and get swayed by my big eyes and soft voice ( mostly joking, but I'm also wondering if that could play a part in it). The internet is also filled with experts that have no credentials, just an opinion.
@@nikiyikes5674 Yeah. Also, many people don't realize how much life experience can change one's behavior, beyond MBTI (stereo)types. People adapt and learn, and particularly as people age and mature they'll often "round" some edges.
I'm very INTJ, but nowadays I'm much more FE aware than I was as a teen/young adult, for instance. It's still alien to me, but I can sometimes "pass" if I make the effort, so to speak. It's just that most of the time I don't care enough to try, which is a very INTJ thing indeed. :)
Super cool. Being aware of FE being “alien” but making an effort. Much respect. That makes me want to explore Fi (as it is my blindspot-ENTP) to see how it is affecting others when I communicate, so as to “try” to express it. Thanks!
@@WolfoxBR It's amusing when others say they are an INTJ, and don't understand the point of my content and what sort of content I make. I always state that I am using my own experiences and stating my own opinions. Of course an INTJ will disagree with something. They are an entirely different human being with different levels of development with their cognitive functions. It is very difficult to make a video and speak to an audience in a way where I can be more understood by the masses. How will I ever grow as a person if I confine myself within the INTJ bubble? This is a crime to the closed minded, but I do appreciate their help with engagement for my videos.
@@jamesjoseph7194 Always amazing when we can teach each other things.
INTJ’s are not romantically clueless, they just very honest. Being honest is a compliment, unlike the lying, manipulative majority of the population. The truth is definitely showing kindness. Telling the truth is not personal, it’s not critical, it’s not manipulative and it’s not trying to offend. Why waste precious time on something you don’t like or don’t want to do. What is wrong with that? To me it makes PERFECT SENSE, but not to the people that are around me and for that exhausting reason, I am not willing to explain myself or my reasoning, so I prefer hiding a couple of hours everyday away from the rest of the “insane” world. Only my pets are allowed “inside”….
Absolutely. Only my cats are allowed. I'm considerably more patient and tolerate of them.
Wow, nice comment
Hey Niki, INFJ male here. It's alarming how similar INTJ and INFJ's are. Our Ni is exactly the same but my Fe forces me to care more for others feelings. I totally understand where you're coming from but our poor Se fools us into thinking we DO see the whole picture, when we don't. I also know INTJ"s hate confrontations as well, that's why you don't confront them when it's obvious how others feel. INFJ's are the same, we hate confrontations but we LOVE to get to know people one on one, so we make more of an effort to resolve issues. I also know how much braver we feel when not using our Se. I do love the INTJ female brain, especially with your logic thinking and your ability to debate without being easily offended. Love debating an INTJ with metaphors, it's like shorthand debates. I think you were in a stressed moment during recording, but I do love them too. Breath, do yoga, go for a run. Do one of those stupid things people say calms you and know, I love your vids and I am eternally grateful that you spend the time to make them and share your beautiful mind with me. THANK YOU.
Most INTJs are male and that is why most INTJ stereotypes are male-oriented. INTJs have Fe in the 7th slot, consequently do not like to use it and are not great at picking up social cues, don't even like doing it. Now your example of a person staring every single day is not subtle at all. But as a counterexample, women interested in a guy can be really subtle about it and it's not unusual for INTJ guys to not pick it up whereas if the guy were an ENFJ he would grok it immediately.
I love the point you made about the pattern of staring and how that turns into obsession. As INTJs we KNOW how much energy it takes to think deeply on a topic and choose a path. By that person choosing the path of liking you, we understand they're expending energy. I recently struggled to reject someone since I was still sorting out the variables. I was still brainstorming. But I realized as I was taking my time to think, they were growing more attached and liking me more. It was a kindness to let them go since I came to the conclusion, my variables had too much to do with their potential as a partner, NOT as how they currently were. It's difficult to not think of people like we do our brainstorming sessions. They shouldn't be picked apart, they should be handled with care. I try hard to brainstorm faster since that will lead to overall less hurt feelings and less frustration on my end.
noticing and then dismissing that which I don't value/appreciate is very much me. it's not that we don't see things, we just don't see the point of addressing everything.
Very well communicated. Learned a lot! Refreshing to realize with the INTJ it’s good to be straight forward with “romantic interest” knowing it is more likely appreciated (being straight forward) even if the INTJ doesn’t have the same interest (especially refreshing for an ENTP like me who naturally takes everything personally…hah!).
Great video. Thanks!
Ah. ENTPs are one of my favorite personality types. I love the bold confidence the type tends to have while also maintaining a curiosity and a love for long rants. No telling what could leave the mouth of an ENTP.
@@nikiyikes5674 haha!!! So very true!!
Oof, I have a lot of things to work on. A lot of what you said resonated. I have absolutely zero experience with anything romantic, but just in terms of general relationships and social interactions, I have that issue with fear of rejection and I can see how irritating that could be to others. Unfortunately, bad past experiences have left scars that make that make it very difficult not to feel that way.
Between that and low self-esteem, I think I fit very well into the “romantically clueless” category, as I feel that others would deserve much better than me. You and the other INTJs I know seem to have a much better handle on this, so I’m not sure why this stereotype exists for INTJs. If anything, I think it’s a very individual thing that applies to different people regardless of their personality type.
I’m interested in improving, but I fear working these personality traits of mine might be fighting a losing battle, and it’s easier to just limit social interaction and ignore romance haha. But your insights are always very interesting and appreciated.
We all have a lot of work to do hence me very slying saying I'm not exactly a romantically healthy INTJ, I've just been to therapy. Lots of times. It's hard to move past those bad experiences, but that's why we have to surround ourselves with people who promote growth without carelessly hitting our triggers. Your comment made me consider that perhaps a trigger of mine is mind games which I can often view typical dating and dodgy behavior as. Let's just rip off the bandaid, yeah? I can survive this
I guess the traits I was referring to was the insecurity and fear of rejection that manifests as a bit of a lack of trust. It’s hard for me to trust people even when they assure me that they are fond of me.
And, if I liked someone or had a crush or whatever, my absolute innate tendency would be to bury it deep, try to ignore it myself, and never ever tell the person. And I could see how that could end up looking like mind games to someone very perceptive, even though that would truly not be my intention.
I know it’s much better to work on those insecurities and at being a bit more open and honest with people, but, after having bad experience with trusted people turning on me in more formative years, it’s a difficult thing to accomplish. And I’m sure I’ve pulled away from some people who do genuinely like me, due to the same lack of trust. Not sure how well this answers your questions, because for me it’s exactly as you said in the video, difficult to properly get what’s inside my brain out and accurately expressed.
@@nickr5213 @nickr5213 I think you're communicating very well. Maybe you do better with writing than with speaking? It's easier to sort out thoughts that way. If I recall correctly, aren't you an INTP? If my memory serves, I can see why it's so hard for you to "people".
On the topic of pushing people away along with feelings; I...am not equipped to give any sort of advice, not that you're asking. I will say that trust is earned and gained by actions and words matching up over a long period of time. Maybe folks like us just aren't meant for the fast and the furious romancers who want to move in together within a month because they've met the "one".
As a funny side note - I test people by talking about preenups and prepping for a potential divorce to decipher compatability. My friends just say I have commitment issues, but it tells me a lot when someone scoffs at the idea of having a contingency plan. In conclusion, you're not alone with having trust issues and insecurities. It just comes out differently in every person.
@@nikiyikes5674 Thank you very much. I enjoy your perspectives and insights immensely. I have gotten INTP anytime I have taken a test, but I’m still slightly skeptical. It seems to fit more than most other types, especially based on the cognitive functions, but there are definitely some things that do not fit at all. For example, I am definitely more concerned about not having conflict with people and not being too blunt/blurting out whatever is on my mind. That is rather contrary to the “INTP stereotype”. Also, I am concerned with others feelings/wellbeing, probably more so than is typical for an INTP. And, I’m a musician and piano player and I despise the technically precise, boring way of playing things by the book in favor of really playing with feeling, improvising, and never playing something exactly the same way twice. I love learning and practicing chord structure and harmony and am heavily influenced by Elton John’s piano playing, which is rather exceptional in those elements, especially when looking at his live performances and his many songs which aren’t necessarily the popular hits.
Anyway, sorry for all the over sharing. As an aside, I remember you mentioned in a previous video that you overcame a lot on your own including a learning disability, lisp, and dyslexia. That is quite remarkable, especially considering how well spoken and insightful you are.
@@nickr5213 I play instruments as well and write stories and poems. I don't think that is a very "INTJ" thing to do, but here we are :). I'm sure you've looked up what an INTP is often mistyped as (INTJ, INFJ, INFP, and ENTP). I see no reason for why an INTP can't be a musician and more in touch with their feelings, just like how an INTJ can be a musician and more...emotionally aware (lol). But if you're still feeling doubt, do some (further) research on those other types and look at different sources. Every single ENTJ I have met has mistyped as an INTJ. It's common, so screw what the tests say.
And if anyone has overshared it is me with my videos. You're perfectly fine, and thank you for acknowledging my little brain quirks.
So I've always always always tested as INTJ for decades but I have to say that I really am clueless about people being into me. Romance I can do, but that inital bit of registering interest I am truly hopeless at. I will be quite sure someone is into me and they aren't and I'll be totally oblivious to people who are genuinely into me.
I think the reasons for this don't have to do with my personality type, it's because:
1) I'm a diagnosed autistic and have very weak social intuitions as a result (you can't begin to register a pattern if the evidence is imperceptible).
2) I am an enneagram type 5 and have a very very weak sense of self as a thing that I actually am in the world. It's very hard to understand people being attracted to this thing that I am only vaguely connected to on the level of my psyche.
Anyhow I think your arguments are very convincing regarding INTJs outside of these cases! It's so amazing and novel listening to a woman who thinks and talks like I do. I appreciate the videos and hope your health situation improves!
I especially relate to what you say about having no time for attempts at pretending to be something you're not and declaring things or people "not an option." There are thresholds that get crossed where I will 100% write something off and never return to it with no regrets because I've analyzed it and made my judgement without reservation.
Male INTJ here. I feel like finally someone is saying what I'm thinking. Your content makes me feel understood and helps me explain myself to others. Would love to see a video on thoughts about relationship needs, forming friendships and more INTJ things. Thank you for your content. Keep it coming!
Great idea!
Hello Niki, thank you for making this video. It gives me hope that there are still women out there that are like this. This is the exact mindset I am looking for in a wife! I believe deep down INTJs would be the most romantic type when they find the right person, I have never dated A INTJ yet. That is just my opinion, from talking to my INTJ friends.
I'm glad you enjoyed the video. Thank you for taking the time to comment :)
Yeah, as an INTJ I experience the same tendency of recognizing patterns, analyzing the environment to find potential threat and to be aware of it. I find it hard to evaluate if this/that is dangerous or safe. So I avoid conflicts, human interaction, potencially threatening situations. And it ends up that I am just an observant, who do nothing and describe patterns. Daydreaming is the following phenomena of this principle. The world is dangerous, so let's avoid it and live in the head, making up our own world :(
That...is essentially what I have described without realizing it. This is how I operate. Great insight!
@@nikiyikes5674 yes, I felt that :D Thank for your videos
Thank you for getting it out there that intjs are not all carbon copies of each other!
I get a lot of criticism because i am not a typical intj in the sense that i care about peoples opinions (due to my past) and i often get told that i can't be an intj if i care. But that's just bullshit. This doesn't make me any less an intj.
I was told I can't be an INTJ if I DON'T care. So which one is it? Stereotypes are ridiculous.
The subtle annoyed twitch she stated when she is in her 30s😂
I've definitely made some experiences with INTJ women that felt a little cheap and romantically clueless.. felt like they want the easy way out.
Most people want to be seduced and kept on edge for a long time until the fall finally happens. It's a game INTJs can't enjoy very much because they aren't as impressed by all the different possibilities and outcomes. For every type it is exhausting to deal with their opposing function, in your case extroverted Intuition.
While most people get fascinated by fantasies and get giddy by even the most obvious attempts to charm you silly, INTJs get bored, annoyed or paranoid. I think your type really prefers innocent approaches when it comes to love and friendship. In my opinion it's very sweet.
The compact version of "Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene is a nice read.
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this and your experience with INTJs. I concur that I will grow bored with the things most people swoon over if there isn't an already established "intent". It's the "will they, won't they" of it all that will make me roll my eyes.
Also, I hadn't thought about a big part of why people being interested in me is so draining outside of it...just being draining. Extroverted Intuition is a great point to bring up. I'll need to read more about this topic. I am also an INTJ who does not do so well with the sensory world, Se (inferior function) or Si (daemon function). I have gotten better over the years, but a hyper aware INTJ is a mentally unwell (and paranoid) INTJ - in my case, at least.
@@nikiyikes5674 Here's what I know. I think you can basically read the approach people have towards anything by going from their third to their first function.
The tertiary (child) function, the function we feel most consciously vulnerable about, needs to be comfortable first.
Auxiliary just wants to bridge the gap so our first function achieves long term security as quickly as possible. That's why even our aux starts to feel like it's "bugging us".
For an INTJ in regards to love, reading from third to first:
Ni Te Fi Se - Ne Ti Fe Si
Fi - I like this person. Me feel good.
Te - I need to know all the facts.
Ni - So I can be plan for everything concerning this person.
What an adorable approach..
It makes a lot of sense you just want to know the god damn facts.
We all struggle with our fourth and shadow functions as they can bring stress and shame. So the chaos of Ne will stress you out pretty badly as it is the first function in your shadow. Under extreme stress or if you've had a bad childhood, it might even bother you more than your inferior.
And your Se inferior.. My guess is that you might stress out about your physical appearance. You want to be presentable for the person who you like. It would also explain why you take particular note of someone who likes what they see. Btw. you look good. :)
I'm not saying you enjoy being creeped on but just that it makes a lot of sense you'd notice somebody checking you out. It can make you hyper aware of those things. Very cute lol but still very stressful for you!
@@230pd Ah, here you are, teaching me even more things. This is one reason why I wanted to make this channel and not create the same content as other INTJs. I like seeing others perspectives and how they understand things. I am notoriously curious about...everything. I'll have to pay attention to how I manage my physical appearance the next time I have interest in someone. I don't believe that I do anything different, but maybe there is something there I'm not aware of or consciously doing. Also, I think it's often forgotten how our upbringing and how our parents and families operate can effect the development of our cognitive functions and how we use them. For example, I have a strange anxiety about when I'll eat and I must plan it out in my head so I'm less likely to forget to eat. I dropped a lot of weight by accident due to not eating, and have effectively worked hard to correct this and be more "present". It's not easy, but I am trying. This is because of how little I can handle stimulation from the outside world due said upbringing, and I get tunnel vision and stop taking care of myself. All fascinating stuff.
@@nikiyikes5674 Yes, I'm very fascinated! Seeing you talk I can definitely see this mysterious Ni and that strong, impressive Te but you managed to become unusually soft and feminine for an INTJ. Your sentence "I'll have to pay attention to how I manage my physical appearance the next time I have interest in someone." worries me. I hope you didn't misunderstand me. Given the facts that 1. you were misunderstood as an INTJ kid a lot and you still are sometimes, 2. that you're interested in MBTI and 3. how much effort you seem to put into your appearance already (Judging from how you come across and what you wrote in reply to other comments that were trying to argue you aren't INTJ), my guess was that inferior Se would manifest as a concern for your physical appearance or like I just said a concern of "how you come across", body language, etc.. and because of it, you managed to have an appearance that is a lot more gentle. My Te is inferior and I wanted to know nothing about it in early life to adolescence but now that I'm in my twenties I'm really worried about having reasons, knowing the facts, being efficient, etc.. because it's the most difficult thing for me that I experience consciously. I figured it might be the same for you with the Se. You really must have exercised your Se a lot... You did say earlier that "I've gotten better.. with Se / Si"... I believe you. Congratulations on that. It's so hard to deal with inferior functions.
I don't think you can do wrong with your looks or how you carry yourself. Consider yourself blessed. I also heard INTJs say they hate to do paperwork. (Primarily dealing with physical chaos), so that'd also be a manifestation of inferior Se. It's you, your pouty mouth and those evil, evil dishes... hahaha
I can see how food and weight is a strange struggle to have.. some people are more genetically inclined towards developing unhealthy eating patterns / eating disorders over others. I'm guessing that the IJ's and IP's would be at more risk than other types if you wanted to look at it through the lens of cognitive functions. Jungian psychology is so deep but of course not everything can be explained by it. It's considered outdated too because of insufficient empirical data (Jung wasn't scientific "enough" with some things..) but given the nature of the field and how difficult it is to prove cognitive transitions (What the ego consists of, what is moving from the subconscious to the conscious, etc. ..) it's satisfying enough to me. It's applicability is remarkable and works just fine for me. I can't believe someone like Jung existed.. or how many Jungs have existed in the past and will continue to emerge. How did he manage to prove anything about what happens inside of the human mind at all? Such a genius. Ti must be an awesome function to have as a dominant! But regardless of functions, health is by far the most important thing in life. Sorry for the long comment again and thank you for engaging... Take care Niki! :)
@@230pd The "pay attention to how I manage my physical appearance" was referring to more of a scientific study to see if I, in fact, do this. I don't believe I do, but let's be honest. INTJs, even ones who have done a lot of self work, still have those INTJ blinders on. Maybe I'm inclined to take more time to pick out the perfect black shirt among my other black shirts. We shall see.
And I don't mind long comments even if they're disagreeing with me (or saying I am not an INTJ which makes me chuckle). If someone takes the time to state their opinon and why they have it, I'll entertain the conversation as long as it remains appropriate. I may seem more soft and feminine, but...I am not afraid of conflict. We'll just say that.
Thanks for being here on my channel!
Whoa I thought I was an ENFP all middle and Highschool then I took it for my job in college And this dating app and found out internally I’m INTJ. Good guess I didn’t take romance lightly either I went all in when I found someone worth it
Clueless or not clueless or somewhere in between, doesn't matter to me.
I loooooooooooooooooooooove INTJ females.
-Me, a straight INTJ male.
Agreed. Me being a fellow INTJ male like you, the seldom INTJ females I met are my groove. I enjoyed their company so much, I married one that luckily happens to be the most compatible with me on every level!
@@jonn_mace_80_95_ Update: Me being an INTJ is actually outdated. I just finished several personality tests recently. Instead, it turns out I'm a confirmed ENTJ; **Extroverted**-Inuitive-Thinking-Judging.
Congrats on you and your wife being INTJs as a happily married couple! Not saying it's impossible or surprising. Just pointing out that I'm happy for you, mate. Wishing you two a joyful marriage that could pass through the highs and lows in life. 💜👍🤩✌💜
@@PrinceKatamari2004 Thanks! ✊🙏
I don't actually know any INTJ females. I wish I did. I know one ENTJ but that's the closest it gets.
@@WolfoxBR INTJ females are literally the rarest personality type for women, so I understand where you're coming from.
I think certain nationalities and ethnic groups have a slightly bigger share of them than most however. Because of the opportunities I had to travel, I had better chances of bumping into INTJ females.
They're really not that scary as the stereotypes make them out to be, although they can get a bit annoying when their arrogance goes on overdrive. The only thing that could really get them to turn a new leaf regarding that is when reality hits them hard on the face, essentially exposing their flawed views to be wrong. Experience is the best teacher after all and this applies to all MBTI types.
“A woman in my 30’s” lol barely. 😂
Excuse me. I have been 30 for a long time now LOL I'm basically 35.
@@nikiyikes5674 you seem to think you’re that much older than me for some reason. 😂
@@Chtsht23 I have no sense of time.
@@nikiyikes5674 I blame your old age. You were better about this in your teens.
@@Chtsht23😂 ouch. Well played.
1st 2nd 3rd.. priority as intj should be yourself.otherwise you will get nuts of people around you.
Intj will scan you forward in the eyes when you talk and read your body language 😂
You sound fairly balanced in the T/F category to me. Your creative writing urge is a clue. Your creative video edits here are another clue. Also this video has a kind of "INFJ emo dump" vibe to it. You are an INTJ, but there's almost an INFJ in you that wants to come out, perhaps because your T/F might be fairly balanced.
Thank you for sharing your observations. I would like to also thank the therapy (lol).
@@nikiyikes5674 I feel that. All it REALLY takes IS being honest and vulnerable with oneself. Far too many people like to delude themselves into thinking that they have it all figured out without allowing themselves to be vulnerable and/or admitting where they need to grow. The ABSOLUTE TRUTH IS that we are ALL works in progress. So, if youre not learning and growing; then youre DYING. I, too, have gone through extensive therapy and; I have come to realize that the worst lies we tell are the lies we tell ourselves.
IF ONLY MORE people thought that way, taking personal responsibility/accountability for their own failures or ineptitudes; then the world ABSOLUTELY WOULD BE an ABSOLUTELY BETTER place.
INTJs will notice small details because you have Se even if it's an inferior function
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You pretend very well at not being a robot )
I'm not writing this comment to be a jerk or any ill intention, this is something that I hope you consider. You're INFP. You're mistaking Si for Ni and your explaination of Ni doesn't fit how it feels to have dominate Ni. It doesnt sound like how I experience it or how other INTJ or INFJ content creators explain Ni. They all explain it as something that happens in the subconcious and only notice it when it's necessary. The way you describe noticing patterns within your coworkers is Si and you adding your own idea of their intention is Fi. The last thing I want to add is that INTJs have Te as their second function and Se as their 4th function. We care about people and what they think a lot but we won't allow it to affect out lives. If you don't even consider being another type, then I know you're for sure not an INTJ because Ni doms always second guess ourselves because dominate Ni means always seeing all possible outcomes but subciously and conciously only seeing a few.
I appreciate your comment. I have simply learned about myself and how I operate and think, and decided to do what I haven't seen done, and transcribe that into a way I can relay it here on UA-cam. I do this to break stereotypes and show that INTJs are more than robots and that Myers Briggs does not tell you everything you need to know about a person. The fact that I see people say that I don't appear how they think I should is a positive and means I am succeeding at that. Yes, Ni runs in the background. I am not aware or putting effort into the things I notice, but I can look at something and realize that I see a pattern. Additionally, INTJs can use our Si, even though it's a Daemon Function, to do this even though it's not as natural as it is for an ISTJ and an ISFJ. Fi is also a part of an INTJs main cognitive functions, but it is not my dominate function. I am not putting intentions to people when I have been correct, in let's say, a coworker having romantic feelings for me to my dismay.
I can assure you, however, that I am most certainly not an INFP though my INFP friend will be very tickled by your comment. Additionally, I had considered other personality types for many years. I have since made my conclusion.
Jon, I appreciate your comment and work with the cognitive functions as I know how challenging it can be to make sense of typology. However, it appears you might be a little “stuck in weeds” with cognitive functions, and perhaps not seeing the full picture yet. What I found with enough real world experience is that other clues such as mannerisms, facial features, behaviors…etc in addition to the cognitive functions can suddenly reveal undeniably what type a person is. In other words it can become blatantly obvious. I found movies to be a fun way to help with this process. Sometimes I still don’t know what type a person or character is the first time I see them, but I’m less likely draw any conclusions until I simple “know that I know.” Does that make sense? Thanks again. I’m happy hear your feedback.
@@catonakeyboard1132 Fair enough. Thank you for sharing your opinion.
Not a typology expert, but I can generally tell whether someone is an INFP. It is clear to me Niki is not. Much behavior and affect that is attributed to "INFP" can be either universal, or it can apply across Fi users. There's lots more misattributed to INFPs. The type is generally not what people think it is. It would be a good idea to be more careful in applying that label.
@@dulles1969 Hi Dulles. Out of curiosity, may I ask for a ""non-expert", maybe even unsubstantiated, opinion? 🙂 (on this hijacked thread)
Mr. Jon said "They all explain Ni as something that happens in the subconscious and only notice it when it's necessary.". Let's not delve into the fact that I don't fully agree with that statement, but I can imagine a frame in which it could be described like that. Extroverted intuition should be close enough in mechanics to introverted intuition, so the question I have is: Do you perceive Ne as something that happens in the subconscious and you only notice the results when it's necessary?
I am in a very wonderful partnership with an INTJ. I myself am an INFP (even though my conscientiousness is extremely high which is less correlated with INFP) - anyways- I just wanted to say that he is in his own way extremely romantic and I too can confirm that INTJ‘s are definitely not clueless or heartless in terms of romantic endeavours. They handle things… quite efficiently but once you try to understand their motives their ways of communicating are extremely thoughtful and in my case just what I need and love so much :)
Meh, disregard humans, acquire currency.