Hi everyone, my apologies for not being able to upload more consistently, but I hope this VERY serious and not at ALL sardonic video helps make up for it. I was inspired by a real life event. Or a few. I hope you enjoy the editing. I had sure had fun working on this video. Also, thank you to all of those who have emailed me at my gmail (I will put it in the description of the video. Just realized I forgot to do that...). If I have not responded as of yet, I promise I will get around to it. Please do not take it personally if I take a while to respond. It is a character trait (or flaw) of mine.
The hookup culture of modern dating, is so frustrating because as a guy wanting to get to know someone before dating them, it's like if I don't want to instantly bang someone, they think I'm not interested.
@@prezhenz6969 Why wouldn't a gay guy wanna smash on date one? For girls, I know it's important to not look like "that type", but what about gay guys? Is it the same?
It's like a job interview for the person to see if there is a fit and to setup a formal relationship between the parties. People are too desperate to jump into stuff and don't take things slow.
Infj and INTJ have very obvious eyes …. Eyes that look detached, deep and far away , I think the low SE makes us come off as sleepy even when we are not
I could be wrong on this one so don't take it as a definitive answer by any means. My definition of the kind of "unplugged look" you are describing would be this. We are already steps ahead of the present. You are saying others would perceive it as a "sleepy" look. I would call it an advanced look. I am already aware of my surroundings and have analyzed it. It is now on auto mode while I continue to plot forward.
Oh my gosh. INTJ male here and I seriously hope you were intending on being a little humorously sarcastic while making this vid. I just totally got it. People not only need easy things defined for them (such as dating v. relationships) but the illustrated artwork was to die for! INTJs = we aren't arrogant. We just have a little more figured out than you do. Own it like you have! New subscriber and won't mind the breaks you take. We need our own time between dealing with the masses regardless of way we choose to communicate with them. Just pop in every now and then though.
I'm not sure that she intended it to be humorous, but I had a good laugh. I wasn't expecting a Sociology lecture on Human Interaction. It was a great lecture, though. Many people would benefit from listening to the presentation because they don't understand the differences between a relationship and dating.
As an INTJ, I find dating is useful to get to know each other before go to the next step. We can assess our compatibility, know our boundaries, and tolerate each other weaknesses. So if any party find something is not tolerable and can't adjust, just stop. Continue to be friends is okay, but we'll know that we have differences that can't be solved at least at the time. At the future, who knows?
Met a woman who I suspect is an INTJ, she’s so stereotypically an INTJ even her field of study is a typical INTJ stereotype, lol. However, I understand that all INTJs are different in their own way. Anyway, I have SUCH a hard time reading her, which is so surprising to me because I am typically sooo good at reading body language and behavior being an INFJ. I am crushing on her HARD, I haven’t felt this way for anyone in such a looong time, been some years since I was in a relationship or anything so it means a lot for me to feel something for her. If someone could feel what I’m feeling then they’d understand. I spend a lot of my time thinking about her that I even cause myself some anxiety. 🤣 At first she struck me as sooo serious and distant, but I kind of saw through that, I sensed that there was so MUCH more substance in her than what meets the eye and THAT’S what I am attracted to. Yes, on the surface she is attractive, however deep down she is absolutely beautiful. I sense something forming between us and I don’t know how to navigate it. I feel as she has some interest back, however I just cannot tell because she is hard to read to me. She doesn’t really flirt with me, but she does spend a little bit of her free time talking to me and seems receptive to everything we talk about, I catch her looking at me all the time, sometimes it seems as if she blushes, but I can’t be certain. I have seen her change so much around me, her stoic appearance has changed to a more gleeful excitement when we see each other. I am confused by her behavior sometimes, there was an instance where we had a lengthy hand shake and someone asked if we were a couple. She really laughed and replied “no”, but I couldn’t tell if she was simply embarrassed or if her reply was more of a “heck no, I would never” 😂 it was kind of cute the way she reacted, but this confused me even more, how can I tell if an INTJ has a romantic interest in me? I would love any advice/support you could give me! Thank you so much. 🙏🏻
Speaking from an INTJ woman, if she is interested in your lifestyle, your hobbies, your career, or your interests, meaning she is likely to be interested in you.
@@natvadeedulyakometh65 Oh thank you for your input, however I would say that she’s really quiet and rarely starts conversations, even more so with others. Usually, I’m the one that starts convos first, but she will linger around me as much as she can so we can talk and she genuinely seems to enjoy my company. I tend to be a bit of a shy man as well, however I’ve taken a lot of initiative, but I also like to take my time as in I like to get to know someone before I ask them out on a date. Is there any other tips you could offer that could help me? As an INTJ female, If you liked someone, how long does it take for you to realize that you like them? And also, what kind of date would you like to go on? And how would you like to be approached if someone has an interest in you? 🙂
Dating SHOULD be the process of mutually assessing the relationship compatibility of the other party. Unfortunately most people lack self control, and want to skip straight to sex. And when sex is the foundation of your relationship, around the 2 month mark, when the lust fueled frenzy dies down, most people realize they can't deal with the person they're with, and the "relationship" ends. Rinse repeat. And if you just want to have sex with a bunch of people... live your life. But if you want a relationship with ONE person, having sex with dozens isn't how you find the one.
Its the lack of self awareness and the lack of accountability is what gets me. As if l am required to allow a person treat me any type of way just to prove how much “i love them”. Sex creates soul ties. For someone who believes sex is a great foundation , theyd be the same person to build a house upon the sand, rather than stable firm stone. I dont trust those kinds of folks
Great to see you again! Once again you are on point. I'm a few years older than you, but I never understood those distinctions in relationship terms for a long time. I always preferred friends first and then we were kind of together at some point. "Dating" seemed as basically an excuse for two strangers to meet and get some alcohol in themselves in hopes of a happy accident of fortune. I only ever dated/was with one girl at a time and I never had eyes for anyone else. I always thought I was pretty virtuous and didn't understand why so many people cheat (happened to me multiple times). I've learned via the internet that things are very different for women and really popular men. I rarely asked anyone out, but when I did, I made sure to know as much as possible about the person ahead of time and really did my homework. When you are someone with a large number of suitors though, I can see the need to go on dates. When you are cold approached, you would have to do some sort of vetting and testing for compatibility. I completely overlooked this aspect that's probably commonplace for someone like Nikki. I don't envy you that! I'm curious though, if you only have a dinner date to get to know someone, do you know right away if there's a connection? Do you give someone a few dates to see who they are after the fluff talk is out of the way, or do you say no after the first date unless you feel an instant spark? I haven't dated in quite a while and have been convinced from red-pill material that the cost/benefit probably isn't worth it, but I have intellectual loneliness from time to time that it would be great to have someone I could be affectionate with and have discussions on things I'm passionate about. Does anyone have thoughts on what the upcoming glut of aged singles 40+ are going to cause? With so many childless people, will they have to be "adopted" by other family members? Will there be some sort of pre-retirement singles communities forming? I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on this.
I know before I even go on a date with someone if there is a connection, and for me, I've learned that one doesn't ever form if it's not there to start. I don't get caught up on physical appearance and lust, so it's easy for me. What I have to figure out is the other person and if they're looking for some "fun" or something serious. And if it's serious, well, HOW serious and how fast are they wanting to go, cause uh...I'll have to think about that one lol As a woman in my 30's, I've honestly just embraced my cats and my own personal pursuits.
In terms of multimedia interactivity - making a *video* more than a videotaped podcast - you leveled up with this one. And being married to an INTJ since 2006 - yeeep. I know this vibe.
I had to stop the video to leave a comment. One look at your facial expression at the beginning of the video and I immediately thought, "I am about to resonate with whatever she has to say so hard". Three minutes in, not disappointed. +1 for the instructional aids!
Nice one Niki. The topics covered in this video might be a useful agenda for lighthearted, but honest discussion when 'dating' someone. Loving the "bonkers". I say this a lot.
Sounds like you navigated your way through, which I'm glad to hear. Mine wasn't addiction related, but it was severe depression, certain dangerous and permanent tendencies, dealing with my thirst for vengeance and making people who hurt others suffer, ect.
I suppose I like and respect creativity and someone who can remain focused on their goals. I can get lost and distracted, so I like it when I see someone who balances their goals and their interests.
@@nikiyikes5674 perfect, I've been researching Dario Nardi's subtypes and I think something similar is going on there to function compatibility, so we're INTJs, it's kind of a heavy normalizing style by default, and so we naturally want someone creative to balance that, I assume you also are a creative INTJ subtype, so someone who is also somewhat normalizing is also a good match, Dario also talks about a secondary subtype, which has less of an influence on personality, but I'm guessing since you are not a type A get things done type personality you are not a dominant secondary type and maybe you're holistic, are you surprisingly traditional in some small ways? This is just a best guess at how it works but seems to explain some of those instant deep connection relationships I've had
Hmm...I am open-minded, but I suppose I can be traditional on a small scale. At this moment in my life, I'm mostly just bogged down by everyday life things that's really wearing me out.
@@nikiyikes5674 speculating, but a high probability best match for you according to subtypes and mbti might be a creative leaning ENTP with secondary dominant preferences(someone like this might actually be visible as a content creator), it's not everything but probably a big part of the puzzle, when I've met creative leaning ENTPs with probably secondary holistic prefs, the connection was instant and I felt like I had known the person for a long time(I'm probably a creative INTJ with secondary dominant prefs), I saw in the comments that you noticed if there was no initial connection from the start you never found one even after getting to know the person?
It's good to know what you want..:) What are your spiritual beliefs? Do you ever pray or read the Bible? 🍀For me, God is truly my best friend, and after that my cat :) As far as MBTI I am INFP-ish but it's not my religion as it is for many. Stereotypes are not helpful (or true) Best to you🙏
The problem with this assessment is the, "agreement" and the, "commitment" looks different from the men and women's perspective. When you go eat food and go to the movies and go to concerts, who pays for it? You say there's no commitment there, but when a man is expected to pay for it all, he's being asked to commit a level of finances into that interaction while also being expected to be ok with her not being committed. With hookup culture and foodie calls, there's not much good faith left to be taken advantage of anymore.
Also, what im talking about here is clearly defining whether or not something IS date. That way, no one is being taken advantage of or lead on. I'm sorry this has happened to you. It's a terrible thing to do and to expect from someone just because of gender. If it's not a date, then you shouldn't be paying for it unless it's an agreement between friends. If it is a date, you also have the choice to not be the one that pays. Personally, I lean towards either paying for myself the first time I go out with someone regardless of what they say, or I choose something that is free. Please be sure to protect yourself from users and crappy expectations. It sounds to me like you know exactly what type to steer clear from, and that's something to be glad about.
well... as an INTJ gent, with strong explorative leanings into `rational masculinity`, I seem to know more about evo.psych nature of xx.s now than to still be bothered by above qstn. at all. positively complementary xx.inity could've been a nice idea maybe - appreciation of j.o.m.o. on else comes as viable pragmatics... and why not talk about figs instead ?!
Hi everyone, my apologies for not being able to upload more consistently, but I hope this VERY serious and not at ALL sardonic video helps make up for it. I was inspired by a real life event. Or a few. I hope you enjoy the editing. I had sure had fun working on this video.
Also, thank you to all of those who have emailed me at my gmail (I will put it in the description of the video. Just realized I forgot to do that...). If I have not responded as of yet, I promise I will get around to it. Please do not take it personally if I take a while to respond. It is a character trait (or flaw) of mine.
The hookup culture of modern dating, is so frustrating because as a guy wanting to get to know someone before dating them, it's like if I don't want to instantly bang someone, they think I'm not interested.
Hookup culture certainly makes things complicated, but it also weeds out the ones you don't want to waste your time on.
@@nikiyikes5674 Hookup culture is degenerate.
"Just admit it, ur gay."
@@friendlyanomaly6109it’s the same for us gay intjs. If you don’t hookup the first date (if they even want to date) you’re a prude
@@prezhenz6969
Why wouldn't a gay guy wanna smash on date one?
For girls, I know it's important to not look like "that type", but what about gay guys? Is it the same?
It's like a job interview for the person to see if there is a fit and to setup a formal relationship between the parties. People are too desperate to jump into stuff and don't take things slow.
You know an INTJ has something to say when they start defining terms.
I even drew pictures.
Infj and INTJ have very obvious eyes …. Eyes that look detached, deep and far away , I think the low SE makes us come off as sleepy even when we are not
I could be wrong on this one so don't take it as a definitive answer by any means. My definition of the kind of "unplugged look" you are describing would be this. We are already steps ahead of the present. You are saying others would perceive it as a "sleepy" look. I would call it an advanced look. I am already aware of my surroundings and have analyzed it. It is now on auto mode while I continue to plot forward.
As an INFJ, I do have those eyes, it scares people, but I hate that because I don’t want people to be afraid of me.
Oh my gosh. INTJ male here and I seriously hope you were intending on being a little humorously sarcastic while making this vid. I just totally got it. People not only need easy things defined for them (such as dating v. relationships) but the illustrated artwork was to die for!
INTJs = we aren't arrogant. We just have a little more figured out than you do. Own it like you have!
New subscriber and won't mind the breaks you take. We need our own time between dealing with the masses regardless of way we choose to communicate with them. Just pop in every now and then though.
I'm not sure that she intended it to be humorous, but I had a good laugh. I wasn't expecting a Sociology lecture on Human Interaction. It was a great lecture, though. Many people would benefit from listening to the presentation because they don't understand the differences between a relationship and dating.
As an INTJ, I find dating is useful to get to know each other before go to the next step. We can assess our compatibility, know our boundaries, and tolerate each other weaknesses. So if any party find something is not tolerable and can't adjust, just stop. Continue to be friends is okay, but we'll know that we have differences that can't be solved at least at the time. At the future, who knows?
I always assumed dating involved sawing something in half to count the rings. This explains what I've been doing wrong the whole time...
Met a woman who I suspect is an INTJ, she’s so stereotypically an INTJ even her field of study is a typical INTJ stereotype, lol. However, I understand that all INTJs are different in their own way.
Anyway, I have SUCH a hard time reading her, which is so surprising to me because I am typically sooo good at reading body language and behavior being an INFJ.
I am crushing on her HARD, I haven’t felt this way for anyone in such a looong time, been some years since I was in a relationship or anything so it means a lot for me to feel something for her. If someone could feel what I’m feeling then they’d understand. I spend a lot of my time thinking about her that I even cause myself some anxiety. 🤣
At first she struck me as sooo serious and distant, but I kind of saw through that, I sensed that there was so MUCH more substance in her than what meets the eye and THAT’S what I am attracted to. Yes, on the surface she is attractive, however deep down she is absolutely beautiful. I sense something forming between us and I don’t know how to navigate it. I feel as she has some interest back, however I just cannot tell because she is hard to read to me. She doesn’t really flirt with me, but she does spend a little bit of her free time talking to me and seems receptive to everything we talk about, I catch her looking at me all the time, sometimes it seems as if she blushes, but I can’t be certain. I have seen her change so much around me, her stoic appearance has changed to a more gleeful excitement when we see each other. I am confused by her behavior sometimes, there was an instance where we had a lengthy hand shake and someone asked if we were a couple. She really laughed and replied “no”, but I couldn’t tell if she was simply embarrassed or if her reply was more of a “heck no, I would never” 😂 it was kind of cute the way she reacted, but this confused me even more, how can I tell if an INTJ has a romantic interest in me?
I would love any advice/support you could give me! Thank you so much. 🙏🏻
Speaking from an INTJ woman, if she is interested in your lifestyle, your hobbies, your career, or your interests, meaning she is likely to be interested in you.
@@natvadeedulyakometh65 Oh thank you for your input, however I would say that she’s really quiet and rarely starts conversations, even more so with others. Usually, I’m the one that starts convos first, but she will linger around me as much as she can so we can talk and she genuinely seems to enjoy my company. I tend to be a bit of a shy man as well, however I’ve taken a lot of initiative, but I also like to take my time as in I like to get to know someone before I ask them out on a date. Is there any other tips you could offer that could help me?
As an INTJ female, If you liked someone, how long does it take for you to realize that you like them? And also, what kind of date would you like to go on? And how would you like to be approached if someone has an interest in you? 🙂
Dating SHOULD be the process of mutually assessing the relationship compatibility of the other party. Unfortunately most people lack self control, and want to skip straight to sex. And when sex is the foundation of your relationship, around the 2 month mark, when the lust fueled frenzy dies down, most people realize they can't deal with the person they're with, and the "relationship" ends. Rinse repeat. And if you just want to have sex with a bunch of people... live your life. But if you want a relationship with ONE person, having sex with dozens isn't how you find the one.
Agreed.
Its the lack of self awareness and the lack of accountability is what gets me. As if l am required to allow a person treat me any type of way just to prove how much “i love them”. Sex creates soul ties. For someone who believes sex is a great foundation , theyd be the same person to build a house upon the sand, rather than stable firm stone. I dont trust those kinds of folks
Great to see you again! Once again you are on point.
I'm a few years older than you, but I never understood those distinctions in relationship terms for a long time. I always preferred friends first and then we were kind of together at some point. "Dating" seemed as basically an excuse for two strangers to meet and get some alcohol in themselves in hopes of a happy accident of fortune. I only ever dated/was with one girl at a time and I never had eyes for anyone else. I always thought I was pretty virtuous and didn't understand why so many people cheat (happened to me multiple times). I've learned via the internet that things are very different for women and really popular men.
I rarely asked anyone out, but when I did, I made sure to know as much as possible about the person ahead of time and really did my homework. When you are someone with a large number of suitors though, I can see the need to go on dates. When you are cold approached, you would have to do some sort of vetting and testing for compatibility. I completely overlooked this aspect that's probably commonplace for someone like Nikki. I don't envy you that!
I'm curious though, if you only have a dinner date to get to know someone, do you know right away if there's a connection? Do you give someone a few dates to see who they are after the fluff talk is out of the way, or do you say no after the first date unless you feel an instant spark?
I haven't dated in quite a while and have been convinced from red-pill material that the cost/benefit probably isn't worth it, but I have intellectual loneliness from time to time that it would be great to have someone I could be affectionate with and have discussions on things I'm passionate about. Does anyone have thoughts on what the upcoming glut of aged singles 40+ are going to cause? With so many childless people, will they have to be "adopted" by other family members? Will there be some sort of pre-retirement singles communities forming? I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on this.
I know before I even go on a date with someone if there is a connection, and for me, I've learned that one doesn't ever form if it's not there to start. I don't get caught up on physical appearance and lust, so it's easy for me. What I have to figure out is the other person and if they're looking for some "fun" or something serious. And if it's serious, well, HOW serious and how fast are they wanting to go, cause uh...I'll have to think about that one lol
As a woman in my 30's, I've honestly just embraced my cats and my own personal pursuits.
In terms of multimedia interactivity - making a *video* more than a videotaped podcast - you leveled up with this one.
And being married to an INTJ since 2006 - yeeep. I know this vibe.
I had to stop the video to leave a comment. One look at your facial expression at the beginning of the video and I immediately thought, "I am about to resonate with whatever she has to say so hard". Three minutes in, not disappointed. +1 for the instructional aids!
Thank you. Visual aids were essential.
When the INTJ female has a pink border, you know she has started to lower “her rules” while simultaneously realizing “this IS what people do?”😊
Interesting. Will have to listen to this video again after some caffeine ingestion.
Really glad youre not a bot.- ENTP
your voice is so comforting
Nice one Niki. The topics covered in this video might be a useful agenda for lighthearted, but honest discussion when 'dating' someone. Loving the "bonkers". I say this a lot.
My "southernisms" like to come out.
@@nikiyikes5674 Ha, ha! Also in common usage her in the UK.
The world would be better if more people watched your videos
I don't know about that, but I do think it's important to hear different perspectives.
Excelente video
bbbbuttt.... what about whirlwind romance and grand gestures?
what about wanting validation and not being alone?
Because we all know you are alone if you're not in a relationship....lol
ISTP says - It all makes so much sense now! PS. It was the pictures.
Glad they were helpful.
can tell -INTJ
I'm curious what you're color season is, anyone know? Bright spring?
Tell us more about your "dark night of the soul?" Mine was drinking and addiction, lasted for 10 years.
Sounds like you navigated your way through, which I'm glad to hear.
Mine wasn't addiction related, but it was severe depression, certain dangerous and permanent tendencies, dealing with my thirst for vengeance and making people who hurt others suffer, ect.
@@nikiyikes5674❤ infj here
Just meet in a conference room and exchange questionnaires. If that checks out go over life trajectories and financial projections. Done.
lol - I remember those days...
Can you easily get over and forget your date when it didn't work out?
Yes, I don't linger.
Do you notice a certain type of person you instantly feel a connection towards e.g. conservative, creative, hard working, etc.?
I suppose I like and respect creativity and someone who can remain focused on their goals. I can get lost and distracted, so I like it when I see someone who balances their goals and their interests.
@@nikiyikes5674 perfect, I've been researching Dario Nardi's subtypes and I think something similar is going on there to function compatibility, so we're INTJs, it's kind of a heavy normalizing style by default, and so we naturally want someone creative to balance that, I assume you also are a creative INTJ subtype, so someone who is also somewhat normalizing is also a good match, Dario also talks about a secondary subtype, which has less of an influence on personality, but I'm guessing since you are not a type A get things done type personality you are not a dominant secondary type and maybe you're holistic, are you surprisingly traditional in some small ways? This is just a best guess at how it works but seems to explain some of those instant deep connection relationships I've had
Hmm...I am open-minded, but I suppose I can be traditional on a small scale. At this moment in my life, I'm mostly just bogged down by everyday life things that's really wearing me out.
@@nikiyikes5674 speculating, but a high probability best match for you according to subtypes and mbti might be a creative leaning ENTP with secondary dominant preferences(someone like this might actually be visible as a content creator), it's not everything but probably a big part of the puzzle, when I've met creative leaning ENTPs with probably secondary holistic prefs, the connection was instant and I felt like I had known the person for a long time(I'm probably a creative INTJ with secondary dominant prefs), I saw in the comments that you noticed if there was no initial connection from the start you never found one even after getting to know the person?
It's good to know what you want..:) What are your spiritual beliefs? Do you ever pray or read the Bible? 🍀For me, God is truly my best friend, and after that my cat :) As far as MBTI I am INFP-ish but it's not my religion as it is for many. Stereotypes are not helpful (or true) Best to you🙏
A for effort.
The problem with this assessment is the, "agreement" and the, "commitment" looks different from the men and women's perspective. When you go eat food and go to the movies and go to concerts, who pays for it? You say there's no commitment there, but when a man is expected to pay for it all, he's being asked to commit a level of finances into that interaction while also being expected to be ok with her not being committed. With hookup culture and foodie calls, there's not much good faith left to be taken advantage of anymore.
I pay for myself because it's not a date.
Also, what im talking about here is clearly defining whether or not something IS date. That way, no one is being taken advantage of or lead on. I'm sorry this has happened to you. It's a terrible thing to do and to expect from someone just because of gender. If it's not a date, then you shouldn't be paying for it unless it's an agreement between friends. If it is a date, you also have the choice to not be the one that pays. Personally, I lean towards either paying for myself the first time I go out with someone regardless of what they say, or I choose something that is free. Please be sure to protect yourself from users and crappy expectations. It sounds to me like you know exactly what type to steer clear from, and that's something to be glad about.
dang, I had a long post that didn't seem to go through :(
Well good to see you Niki, maybe I'll write later.
Fair enough!
😂
:D
Wrong. - intp
Thank you for your assessment, stranger.
well... as an INTJ gent, with strong explorative leanings into `rational masculinity`, I seem to know more about evo.psych nature of xx.s now than to still be bothered by above qstn. at all. positively complementary xx.inity could've been a nice idea maybe - appreciation of j.o.m.o. on else comes as viable pragmatics... and why not talk about figs instead ?!
Meh, not interested in any of it.
Don't blame you.